Outliving Extinction
by buddhabread
Summary: Skywarp left Earth and Bravura behind. She's not going to let him go without a fight. -Sequel to First Impressions-
1. Chapter 1

I don't own the Transformers universe or any of the trademarked/patented/copyrighted stuff. Please don't use my OCs without asking, as I'm fond of them. Unless it's to draw me a pretty picture, of course : )

This is the sequel of a monster-sized fic, and I don't plan on writing long 'remember that time I did this in the first story?' bits unless it fits naturally… so if you haven't read First Impressions, you may be confused right off the bat. At the risk of sounding snobby, I think the first one turned out ok and I'd recommend it.

M rating, so that I can smatter in as much cursing as I care to, and also play with smut as I see fit. I do love smut. If you're underage in your country and don't care about rules, I swaretajeezus you'd better not read the smut parts. I'll go there and I'll **get** you.

I managed to do something a couple years ago that infuriates me now… I chose to spell Hot Rod 'Hotrod' because I felt too lazy to do the HotspacecapitalRod. I kept doing it after my hiatus simply because I didn't want to have a big distracting change. But I'm changing it now. Ha!

The usual units of time apply, plus stellar cycles (about 400 days.) If the words are in **bold** they are spoken in English.

* * *

Someone once told me that going to Hell doesn't mean you burn forever; it's permanent nothingness and separation. If that's true, Hell was modeled after space.

It's possible I went a little crazy after the first month or two of leaving Earth. It's also possible that I lost a bit of myself, hanging onto Hot Rod's vibrantly active spark for so long. Space isn't empty of distractions, but you do the same things over and over.

Watch for solar storms when you're near a lively star. Check for magnetic storms everywhere. Monitor all channels for activity. Monitor self. After six months or so I went so crazy that all I had left to do was go sane again, and I learned to cope.

I'd been jealous of Skywarp's cosmopolitan history, fueled by the tiny peeks he'd given me through images and stories. He'd failed to mention how God awful boring it could be. The most exciting thing to happen to me in a year and a half had been an asteroid storm. Do you still call them asteroids when they're all smaller than marbles? That'd been scary as hell, but I'd gotten through it.

Surprisingly enough, I'd actually managed to prepare myself for my galaxy-wide journey fairly well. The one hitch in my plans had been my failure to plan for my rapid growth. Sure, I'd stowed plenty of energon rations in my hip compartments, but when you grow that much in under two years the fluid in your system thins a bit.

I'd been suffering from what felt essentially like dangerously low blood pressure, even after consuming all but two of my small energon rations. I'd grown used to the persistently yellow-orange warning light on my console. There was nothing I could do but keep moving forward and hope I found someone willing to bum me enough energon to get me back on my feet when I hit a colony.

The energon problem began to lead to a predicament towards the end of the second year. I began to black out periodically, waking up orns later. Once I found myself drifting so far off course that I almost thought I'd doomed myself to floating helplessly forever.

I'd flipped on my GPS in a panic, only to discover I'd underestimated my positioning equipment. It showed me the entire range of stars for maybe half a light year, including the one I'd been busting my burners to reach for so long. After that my drifts rarely caused me any trouble, though I worried that I'd inevitably be caught in a gravity well or a storm and be melted or crushed. Not so close to my goal.

The only constant comfort I had to hold on to was my spark twin, Hot Rod. He was an unswervingly vivacious mech. Since space did little for my personality I tended to reflect his emotions directly. I imagine he often forgot about me, mirroring him as well as I did. I caught myself imagining the situations that inspired his daily mix of emotion.

When he recharged I allowed myself to feel hopelessly left out, and hopelessly childish for being jealous of his exciting life. It was my own choice to head out into the void chasing a Seeker who might not give a damn about me. I didn't even have a clue where to begin looking, aside from Thundercracker's initial point in the right direction.

Skywarp also had the advantage of being able to teleport. I'd never asked him how far that ability could take him, but he must've used it at least a few times in the last two years. I could be so ludicrously far behind that I'd never find him, and then all I'd have left to do was go back to the Autobots with my tailfins between my legs.

I grudgingly prepared myself for a calculated drift. My thinned energon had trouble keeping up with constantly firing thrusters, so to avoid blackouts I'd begun to try cruising along on the momentum I built either on my own power or by using stars as slingshots. The slingshots were dangerous, even I knew that, but better than waking up to Primus knows what. The benefit was great enough, since it allowed me to recharge on solar power whenever I could.

The first time I picked up a radio signal I nearly ruined a slingshot. A high-pitched voice crackled through my receivers. In response, I braked when I should've pushed and just about fell into a gas giant. By the time I had things under control I was getting a steady one-sided stream from Squeaky Voice, though I understood none of it. It took me a while to remember that my communications suite was made for this; it was able to translate twelve frequently used space-faring languages, and soon I had Squeaky pegged. He/she/it was speaking a trade language, labeled in my suite simply as 'Common.'

_My supercargo has everything ordered, have patience! – No, I will _not_ grant a discount, the wait is negligible! _

I listened to the argument for a long time. I hadn't heard another voice outside of Mirage's recorded lessons in two years, and I was shocked at the unexpectedness of a regular conversation.

_You can stick your plague-sponge mother in a trash compacter for all I care! I have a business to run, same as you! I don't know how you lasted this long, you bilge-slime!_

It ended as abruptly as it started. I felt lonelier than ever at the loss, but I couldn't ignore what that pointless message meant; I was approaching life. Someone lived out here. It took all my patience to try again for the slingshot on the next planet in the system and cruise along at a relative snail's pace.

Transmissions became frequent, so much that I no longer jerked, cut out my thrusters, or otherwise goofed up at the sound of someone's voice. Mostly people on business used the frequencies I could access, so I used the opportunity to learn Common. I might understand them, no sweat, but I doubted anyone out here had could translate an Earth language.

My memory core and 'brain' were near photographic in many ways, so it took me just a few days to develop a vocabulary large enough to cover me, should I need to speak with anyone. I also devoted some time to the other languages that cropped up. I'd been shocked when Cybertronian voices found their way into my receivers and had quickly devoured as much of the unfamiliar language as I could. I was one of them, after all.

The first ship I saw was another shock. Some big cruiser thing painted a gaudy yellow caught my attention about 300 miles ahead and below me. It wasn't going to cross my path, so I was satisfied to watch it until I realized that the cruiser would be heading for someplace populated. I dropped back a few hundred miles and followed them.

It took them a week to reach the station. The further they went the more active my comms became until I actually turned most of them off. I saw dozens of other ships, mostly on the way out, so I'd expected a large port of some kind.

I wasn't ready for the sight of the sprawling complex. It was built into and around an asteroid, shining metals and plastics giving the place the look of a city-sized shopping mall. My yellow guide was already docking into a huge open landing area, so I sped up and followed him in. I heard other ships being hailed and questioned on my broad-range comms, but I avoided attention either because I was silencing my signatures or because I was so small.

I transformed and landed on the dock. I hadn't been in my robot mode under any kind of gravity since I left Earth, so not only was I thrown by my new proportions but my lack of energon had me falling to the dirty, scratched bay metal.

I stood slowly, avoiding the looks I was getting from other beings. Some wore space suits, some didn't. Most were organic, but there were DNA based robots in the mix… Or maybe just true, stupid robots. I wasn't sure at this point.

I looked down at myself then took a self scan. "**Holy shit,**" I exclaimed, though the vacuum stole the sound. I was easily sixteen feet tall. I'd been ten when I left home. No wonder I was barely able to function!

The glares I could feel from the other creatures on the bay encouraged me to look for the entrance to the station. I ended up following a group of ungainly, loping creatures in space suits to what turned out to be an airlock. They all ignored me, and so I ignored them.

Air and pressure returned to the room, though I could tell a human would be hard pressed to feel comfortable. The airlock released us into a sprawling plaza busy with all manner of travelers. Shockingly, many of the organics were as tall as me. Were humans so small?

I wandered through the vast crowd, taking in the structure. It was silver and cream, with huge windows giving a view of the ships as they came into port. Somebody big bumped into me and nearly knocked me over, if it weren't for the next poor person I stumbled into. It snarled at me with an impressive collection of teeth and I apologized in Common, walking away as quickly as I could.

"Excuse me," I tried getting the attention of several aliens, until finally I caught the eyes (four of them) of a furry brown Bigfoot. "Where can I find some energon?"

"Energon? You buzzed already, what you want with energon? Pop a gasket!" the creature rumbled.

I stood where I was, shocked. I looked drunk? Was I that unsteady?

I took a new tact, asking the next busy person I could get to pay attention to me where I'd find a place to fuel.

She… well, it looked like a she, waved me towards the brightly lit end of the huge place, so I began the slow journey through the mass of writhing life. The business, the quickness of everything was overwhelming.

The bright lights turned out to be shop fronts, which sprawled not only left and right but up, with walkways and lifts arranged to allow people to reach them easily. I might understand spoken word but I couldn't read the characters on any of the signs, so once again I braved the disapproval of the crowd and asked which store might sell energon.

The buggy eyed little creature had looked me up and down critically. "Upper level will serve your kind," then skittered away on six legs. The diversity here was insane.

I rode a lift to the top tier of shop fronts, which was practically deserted when compared to the busy main floor but still too crowded for me. I ducked into the first place I saw, pushing through the swinging door.

The new room was dark, and my olfactory sensors detected something completely unpleasant. There were creepy, hunched over creatures here, organics. My optics caught a robotic organism in the corner, but the darkness was so complete where it sat that I couldn't be sure if it was Cybertronian.

The place looked exactly like a bar. There were tables scattered all around, booths against the back walls, and a long bar against one wall. Behind it dozens of bottles were displayed on shelves high on the wall.

I headed for the bar, avoiding the gazes of the slimy looking patrons and sitting on a rounded barstool. I barely registered surprise at it fitting my size; everyone around here was at least twice the size of the typical human.

The barkeep, the same species as most of the smelly customers here, eyed me as he rubbed a red beaker with a brownish towel.

"Whatcha want?" he gurgled.

I stared at him, realizing I had no way of paying this creature for the energon I needed. Shit.

"Ah… I just need some energon. I don't have any money."

The creature had bent for something below the bar, but snapped upright when I said I couldn't pay him. "Then get out. No freebies."

"Please, just a little. I won't-"

"I said GET OUT!" the creature exploded. I flinched and stood, backing away from the bar until something clicked against my shoulder and stopped me. I looked for the source, and saw a blue mech, some three or four feet taller than me, his hand gently holding my shoulder.

"Two cubes, Nezzar." The mech looked down at me, blue eyes appraising. "Make that three."

The barkeeper hissed angrily through some flaps in his neck, then ducked under the bar and quickly produced three oversized glowing pink cubes. The blue mech moved forward and picked up two of them, tossing some little chips onto the bar in the process.

"You mind getting the other one?" he asked me in Cybertronian.

I nodded dumbly and rushed to pick up the cube as he returned to his dark table in the back, following him more out of desperation than anything else. The sight of the strangely colored energon had my lines aching.

I sat across from the heavily built mech and set down my cube, staring at it. It was pink. Was it spiked? Was there such thing as an energon roofie?

"Something wrong?" he asked, again in Cybertronian.

"No." Ha. My first spoken Cybertronian word. Why had none of the mechs on Earth used it? "Nothing, I'm just not used to… this." I pulled one of my last two energon rations from my hip and set it on the table. It was barely as long or as thick as two fingers.

He picked up the ration and examined it. "You from a solar farm?"

I nodded warily. It was close enough to true; Autobot City produced nearly all of its energon via solar panels.

"It's just the manufacturing process and a few trace minerals. Blue's good stuff, goes down smooth, but not much of a kick." He slid my ration back to me, and I tucked it away nervously.

He sipped from a fourth cube, one he'd apparently been working on already. "Try it."

I picked up the large cube I'd carried to the table and took a careful sip. The moment I felt it hit my tank I was ravenous for more, but it was the sizzle it made in my energon lines that made me raise it to my lips and drain the cube as quickly as I could.

I set the cube down, feeling sheepish. It wasn't enough, not by a long shot, but the heavily armored mech seemed to know that already. He pushed the second cube to me, so I took it with an embarrassed smile before making short work of it. The third cube crossed the table and I fought the urge to guzzle it, instead taking it and holding it in both hands.

I finally looked up at my benefactor. He was watching me expressionlessly, but I couldn't detect any malice or ill will in his attitude.

"Thank you," I said finally.

"You're welcome. Go ahead and finish that cube, I know you're dying to." His voice was rough, like he'd gotten grit in his vocal processors.

I obeyed, draining the third cube a little more slowly than the others. My tank sloshed as I leaned back in my chair, a very rich feeling.

"My name is Devcon," he offered, breaking our silence.

I found I was having a hard time maintaining eye contact with the mech. Optic contact… I literally shook myself. The word for them didn't matter as much as the fact that I was acting like a shy kid. He seemed amused by my reaction.

"Do you have a name?" He asked.

"Oh… yes. Bravura."

"Well, Bravura. What are you doing out in the open?"

I stiffened, squeezing my empty energon cube. "What do you mean?"

"I thought any femme who managed to survive the extermination would know better than to go stumbling into a busy space port… Though judging by your fuel crisis you've been roughing it all this time." He leaned over the table, and I saw the red Autobot symbol on his chest. My logic processors practically sighed with relief. I could trust him.

"I've been traveling a long time," I said finally.

"Why alone?"

I stared at him, and he shrugged. "Sorry. You probably didn't have a choice."

I shook my head, which was meant to say 'I _did_ have a choice' but he read the gesture as agreement with his surmise.

"Where are you headed?" He said casually, mirroring my falsely relaxed posture and leaning back in his chair.

"Uh… I'm looking for someone."

"Oh?" He looked skeptical.

"Yes. He's… well, he's a Seeker." I looked up to see his reaction.

His optic ridges twitched down a barely perceptible degree. I wouldn't have noticed if I weren't so absorbed by the novelty of actually speaking with someone. Even my own voice fascinated me.

"Why do you want to find a Seeker? No, let me guess. You want revenge for someone he killed."

I shook my head. "No."

His expression hardened. "Then why?"

"He… well, he's an _ex_-Decepticon. He's my friend."

Devcon snorted. "Miss, I've been hunting Decepticons for the better part of the war, and I can tell you that you can _never_ trust a Decepticon. They don't make friends."

He must've seen the pain in my optics, because he didn't push it any further.

"You should find an Autobot squad and ask them for protection. I don't know where you've been hiding, but it's not safe for a femme out here."

I smiled. "You're an Autobot. Can't you protect me?" I didn't mean it, but apparently he took it seriously.

"I'm a bounty hunter. I work alone, and the work's too dangerous anyway. You'd be no better than a moving target, following me around."

It wouldn't have surprised me if a real light bulb had appeared over my head. "But… you chase Decepticons for a living."

"That's what I just said."

For all intents and purposes, anyone who saw Skywarp would see a Decepticon Seeker. "Well… since I'm looking for one…"

He crossed his arms. "No."

I could feel my hope crumbling. "Please, just hear me out. I'm fast, I have my own weapons and I can be outfitted with more. I've got perfect control of my signature. **Hell**, I could even be bait."

"**Hell**? What's that?"

I realized I'd spat out the English word and reflexively covered my mouth. "Oh… just a word I picked up traveling."

He watched me impassively for so long that I had to force myself to look back evenly. I'd _never_ been this shy before. A result of being alone for so long?

"You're right, I can't pick up even a sliver of signature. I guess that goes without saying, being in your position."

"What position?"

"You're a valuable piece of work, Bravura. How can you not know that?" He waited for an answer, so I shrugged, and he continued with an irritated tone. "The wrong people see you, and you're whisked off to someone's private museum as living art, if you're lucky. You might get sold to a scumbag Cybertronian who wants you for your shape, or as a novelty slave to some alien."

Were there enough femmes left for that to be happening out here? A thriving black market? Did Optimus know?

I didn't know what to say, so I just stared down at the empty energon cube between my hands.

Devcon hissed, so I looked up in alarm. Had I offended him?

He was glaring at the door. A small group of four mechs painted garish neon colors had just walked in, all but one of them at least as big as Ironhide.

"Look down at the table," Devcon whispered to me. "Don't move a micron, not even to look at them if they speak to you. Don't say a word."

I quickly looked back down at my cube, fear pulsing through me. Devcon wouldn't be worried if there weren't a reason, and he was an Autobot. He wouldn't give me away.

I listened as the mechs moved to the bar, ordering what sounded like far too much energon for the four of them. I was beginning to think we'd go unnoticed when one of them made a sort of 'whoop' sound and started clanking our way.

"If it isn't Devcon! What're you doing back in town so soon, you old burnout?"

"Had a good haul," the bounty hunter responded coolly.

"Ha! Not one of us has ever seen you take down a Con. You know, I'm starting to think you ought to retire."

"You work inside a miserable asteroid mining low quality magnesium. You never see anything."

A second mech joined the first. "I _do_ see your little boyfriend here. Finally givin' up on buying yourself a femme some day?"

I stiffened, but stayed still. _Boy_friend?

"Autobots don't make slaves out of anyone, especially not their own kind. You could learn something from that." Devcon sounded tired, but not angry.

"You Autobots are just as responsible, you know," a third mech said with the beginnings of disgust. "The Decepticons killed my mate when I was working the next system over, all because you glitches couldn't work things out."

"I'm here to relax, not debate politics," Devcon said easily.

It took every bit of self-control I had to remain still rather than look up at the mechs.

"What are you doing with him, if you're not copping out?" The second mech leaned close to me. "Doesn't look like anything special."

"He's not. Fried his vocal processors, bad audials, barely sees a thing. He's going to keep my skimmer in working order in exchange for protection and fuel."

All three of the mechs snorted. Where was the fourth? He still hadn't come over. Maybe he wasn't interested in egging on the bounty hunter.

One of the mechs got too close, and Devcon finally showed a sign of irritation. "Leave him alone, he's barely functioning in there. Surely you can have a little respect for a war casualty."

Ah, there was the fourth. "I don't think he's a war casualty." Judging by the timbre of his voice he was the smallest. "Something isn't right about him. My scanners are pickin' up something fuzzy around him. Like a hologram…"

A metal hand shot out and pushed me hard. I might've avoided it if I'd been allowed to look, but as it was I nearly spilled out of my chair. The other three mechs gasped.

Devcon stood up, putting himself between the mechs and me without saying a word. I leaned a little around him to peek. The littlest one was neon green, two of the big ones were orange, and one was yellow.

"A _femme?_ How did you get your hands on a femme and why would you bring her _here?_"

I finally glanced up. The yellow one who'd said he'd lost his mate had just spoken. He seemed shocked. The other three were exchanging sneaky looks.

"Say, Devcon. Looks like you're a decent bounty hunter after all… How about sharing some of that _good fortune_ with the rest of us?"

"If you mean buying you a round of energon, I'd be happy to."

"I was thinking more along the lines of something she could do for us."

I finally understood. My time in space had made me slow. They wanted to take turns with me. Devcon heard the tiny alarmed sound that escaped me and gave me a reassuring glance over his shoulder.

"Hey! Hey, you clanking trashcans!" The barkeep was barking at us in Common. "You wanna go blasting each other to bits, you take it outside!"

"Come on, Miss," Devcon said to me. "You heard the man. We're leaving."

I rose to my feet, earning a few whistles from the neutral mechs.

"We'll walk you out," one said, his greasy tone dripping with honey.

"We'll be fine, thanks," Devcon said, laying an arm over my shoulder possessively. I wanted to trust the mech. I dearly hoped he wasn't turning on me and the dominance he was putting off was all for show.

"No, really. We'd be happy to." Three of the four mechs were closing around us like hungry sharks. The yellow one looked uncertain.

"We should just go sit down, have a drink," he said pleadingly. He kept looking at me, at the fear I'm sure was written on my face. "Come on, we don't need to be like this."

"Put a wrench in it, Jumpline."

Devcon was guiding me to the door, his arm holding me tightly to his side. _You say you have weapons?_ He sent silently through our touch.

_Plasma gun, small laser cannon. Knives._

_Laser cannon? Where are you hiding that?_

_Under the wings._

_Wings? Never mind, they're following us._

He was right. Jumpline was still trying to talk them out of it, but the other three seemed determined to get what they wanted from me.

We left the bar, Devcon guiding me straight to the lift. He pushed me behind him, crowding the lift entrance to keep the other mechs from getting on. One of the big orange mechs gave him a push, but the solidly built Autobot didn't budge. The lift activated and we slowly slid down to the main level.

"They'll keep following. Look, I'll get you to a safe place, but then you have to go. I can't be dealing with this."

"What did you do earlier? They thought I was a mech!"

"I was projecting a hologram on you. It's not very intuitive, that's why you had to keep still."

The lift stopped on the main floor and Devcon immediately took me by the elbow, weaving quickly through the crowd with me in tow.

Now that my systems were restored on the energon that was rapidly flooding my lines, everything seemed less overwhelming, less quick. I kept up with Devcon easily, glancing over my shoulder for signs of the other mechs. I could see their neon paint on a lift just before it touched down.

Devcon dragged me back to the hangar, diving into an airlock and taking me with him just as it closed. Several surprisingly small creatures squealed at us, then shut their mouths and took on a froggy appearance as air and pressure were sucked out of the small room. How did they survive without suits?

No time to wonder. Devcon barreled through the door as soon as it was wide enough to admit him, once again pulling me along. I struggled out of his grip and ran alongside him as we sped up, though I had no idea where we were running.

He slid to a stop unexpectedly, forcing me to skid to a halt and turn back. He was plugging into a small ship that was already lowering a door to let him in. He motioned for me to join him, which I was quick to do. I was sure I was home free when a hand snatched one of my wings and yanked me back out of the ship.

Devcon had his back turned, so he didn't immediately realize I'd been caught. My shriek was stolen by space.

I twisted to see who managed to grab me, immediately realizing it was the smallish green mech. He was about my height, so not so small after all. How had he gotten here so fast? He wrenched my wing viciously, earning another silent scream from me even as I powered my laser cannon.

Funny that I call it a cannon. Skywarp had mentioned it once as a 'gun' and I suppose to someone his size that's all it was. To me, or at least to ten foot tall me, it was a whopping cannon.

That cannon was lying against my back, hidden by my wasp-like wings. As the mech tried to pull me away from Devcon's ship I forced myself to reach back and detach the cannon, angling it haphazardly and firing at the mech behind me.

The heat bounced off the mech as it struck him, searing my sensitive wings. It was worth it when he let go. The flash also drew Devcon's attention, and he arrived just as the three larger mechs did.

Once glance told me that Jumpline was still against the idea of 'borrowing' me from Devcon. He was dragging on one of the orange mechs, obviously arguing with him silently. The other mech pushed him away, and I turned my attention to the green mech and Devcon.

Devcon had him on his back, a vicious looking rifle inches from the stranger's face. I raised my laser to the bigger mechs and they slowed to a halt.

_Come on, Devcon,_ one sent through a comm. I'd never seen activated before on my console. _We won't damage her, we just want to have a little fun. Give us a break._

_She's not my slave, you slaggers. She's a free bot, and she obviously doesn't want your grubby cables anywhere near here._

_How about you let her speak for herself, then?_

_You sure you want that? _I snarled. _If you slaggers don't back off I'll cut off those grubby cables and shove them where the sun don't shine._

The mechs all seemed a little shocked at the vicious femme I'd suddenly turned into. Hot Rod was very interested in my anger and fear, so his emotional support helped me find my survival instincts again. God, two years in isolation had ruined me.

_Look, we don't want to be the kind of mechs who terrorize helpless femmes, let's just go back. _

I growled to myself. Helpless?

_Shut the frak up, Jumpline, _three voices snapped.

_You should listen to your friend,_ Devcon and I said together. I looked at him in surprise, but he only smiled and ground his foot into the mech he held at gunpoint.

_I'm going to let you up,_ Devcon said, _and you'd better turn around and leave here without a word. If you so much as _look_ at that femme I'll shoot out your optics._

He backed off of the mech, who looked as if he was torn between wounded pride and terror. He didn't give any protest, however, simply climbed to his feet and turned away, half running back to the airlocks.

Devcon leveled a serious, all-business stare on the three remaining mechs. _Well?_

One of the orange mechs gave me a glare so scathing I knew I'd made an enemy. I tried to mimic Devcon's expression, and soon the two orange mechs were gone.

The yellow mech, Jumpline, watched us with concern.

_I'm sorry, Devcon. They're not bad mechs, not usually._

_I know, Jump. The war brought out the worst in everyone. You just keep them in line, ok?_

The big mech nodded. _You take care of that femme. _He looked at me. _What's your name?_

Devcon gave me a nod, so I offered Jumpline a tiny smile. _My name's Bravura._

_It's a relief to see there's hope for us yet. _With that, Jumpline nodded to us both and turned to follow his friends.

I felt like I'd cheated the poor mech. The spark hidden in my chest was far from a beacon of hope; I couldn't produce a sparkling even if I'd wanted to. My body belied my actual usefulness to the species. In a way, I resented the implications. 'Hope' to him came in the form of me producing lots of sparklings. Barefoot and pregnant.

Devcon watched the acrimony play itself out on my face, then gestured for me to follow him to his ship. I obeyed without comment; His help was essential if I ever hoped to find Skywarp and the answers I needed.

* * *

R&R, lovelies :)


	2. Chapter 2

To all of you who reviewed FI and followed along to Outliving Extinction, thanks a million! I saw a few new SNs in the last reviews, so thanks for supporting, ya'll!

(SPOILER ALERT, If you haven't seen Revenge of the Fallen DON'T read the next paragraph!)

* * *

I saw RotF in Imax! Woo! Great fights, Optimus was amazing in the forest, nearly had a fit when they got him, but… Did anybody else think the plot was even worse than the first movie? Why would the Primes of the past bother harvesting stars when they had the Allspark to power their 'hatchlings?' Somebody illuminate this for me please and thanks…

Ok it's safe now!

* * *

"So, you have _one_ laser cannon. What makes you think that qualifies you as 'armed'? You don't even know how to use it. You burned those wimpy little wings with your first shot!"

I'd been trying to convince Devcon I was capable enough for him to let me stay with him. He was piloting his skimmer while trying to convince me I wasn't capable of much of anything, by his tone.

As far as wimpy wings were concerned… Well, I'd grown in length and they had not. The wings that had once reached my knees barely crossed my hips. I was beginning to suspect my alt mode no longer fit me. I had the blueprints of a larger Earth jet in my core, one that would give me plenty of room to grow, but… Skywarp gave me the tetrajet I was already wearing. I wasn't ready to part with it.

"That couldn't be helped," I argued. "I'm fast," I repeated this key element of my argument. "I have a plasma gun. I can defend myself in hand to hand combat, and like you said,I can totally snuff my signature when I want to."

"So can most Decepticons. In fact, most of the Decepticons I go after have four or five different kinds of weapons, would _crush_ you in hand to hand, and don't need to read a signature to see that you don't have any armor _at all_."

I wilted. "I have knives, too…"

"You're _not_ coming along!"

I stood up from makeshift berth in the cramped skimmer. "Listen to me, Devcon. I have crossed half the frakking galaxy alone in order to find this Seeker. I left my home, my friends, security and safety, _everything_ behind for this. I'll keep going if you won't help me. From the looks of it, that's a death sentence and I'm going to get myself killed or captured. Do you want to be responsible for that?" I knew it was a low blow, but I was desperate.

"I am not responsible for you!" He barked. By the way his arms twitched, he was resisting the urge to stand up too.

"That's right," I agreed vehemently. "You're just the only friend I have at this point. I don't want to be a slave, Devcon." My vocal processors quavered. Would Skywarp have any respect for me if he ever saw me as a slave?

He twisted in his chair to look at me. His expression was impenetrable. At first I thought he might be angry, but he only sighed and turned back to the controls.

"Primus, why me?" I heard him ask quietly.

* * *

"No. Just use the slagging scan I gave you. You still look like a fragging femme! A thick, ugly femme, but I doubt that would deter anybody these days."

I'd started off determined to design my own mech disguise. Between the hologram projector Mirage had given be and the one I'd built with Ratchet's help I was able to cover all of the distinctly femme parts of my body: Face, torso, upper legs and arms. Unfortunately I was loath to look as bulky as a mech. It made me feel ugly, but it was driving Devcon batty.

"Fine," I conceded. I looked over the file of the plain looking mech that Devcon had provided. The unremarkable mech's plates matched my own storm-cloud coloring. I reluctantly loaded them into the hologram generators. Devcon nodded, satisfied, when I activated the generators.

"We can't help the voice without doing a lot of tinkering I'm not qualified for. Just try not to talk in public, ok?"

I nodded. I sounded too feminine to be male.

He nodded too, maybe unconsciously mimicking me, then crossed his arms. "Show me those knives you mentioned."

I complied immediately; no point in pissing off the mech now that he'd agree to at least let me tag along.

I brought out my knives, the hands disappearing into my forearms to make way. I jerked back away from my own arms when instead of small scalpels, long and wicked looking filleting knives slid into my view.

"What good are they to you if you're scared of them?" Devcon said sardonically.

"I'm not scared of them," I said defensively. "I just haven't used them in a long time. They're a lot bigger than they were."

"A natural weapon, then? They're still tiny, if you ask me."

"Well I can't exactly have swords leaping out of my wrists, can I?"

"Yes, you could. But I can tell you're not a fighter, even with all the weapons. You've survived by laying low."

"Actually…" I wondered how much I could tell him. "I had help. Remember the friends I said I left behind? There were Autobots stationed on the planet I left. They got me out of trouble just about every time I ran into it."

"Oh? Who did?"

"Perceptor, Prowl, Bumblebee, Mirage, Hot Rod, Ratchet, Ironhide… and Optimus Prime. Warpath was there too, but he stayed on the other side of the planet."

Devcon whistled, impressed. "You had the protection of some of the best fighters the Autobots have to offer, and you gave it up? Optimus alone could keep you out of trouble."

"He was very busy. He had to work with the native species a lot."

"And what native species was that?" Devcon asked. He didn't sound particularly interested.

"Humans, from Earth. It orbits the star Sol."

"Sol? You weren't kidding when you said you crossed half the galaxy."

I tried to look nonchalant as I considered my next question. "Have you… ever been there? To Earth?"

"Of course not. Not much happens in that part of the galaxy."

"Oh." I looked down, only to glance up again when I felt his optics on me.

"Why do you look so familiar, Bravura? Who are your creators?"

I stiffened. Creators? I didn't have them. I was genetically and metallically a match with Frenzy, but as far as mothers went…

"Frenzy and Frequency," I blurted out. The Frenzy part made sense. He'd been a regular mech before the war, after all… But Frequency surprised me. Maybe because she was the only femme I knew anything about.

"Frenzy!" Devcon exclaimed. "That's it! I didn't know he had a mate…" His excitement calmed suddenly. "It must've been hard for you and Frequency, after… what happened to him."

"She died," I said firmly. "I was very small. I barely remember her. She ran to Earth to hide from the Decepticons and the Humans there raised me until the Autobots came. I never knew her or the real Frenzy." I hated lying.

"Is that why you don't have the common sense of a patch of fungus?"

"Yes." Finally, an excuse for my ignorance.

Devcon made a grumping sound and returned his attention to the console. "We'll be traveling for the next half an orn, so I suggest you recharge a while and let that energon really work into your system."

I looked around. There was only one thin, economical berth in the skimmer, and I didn't want to take my host's only place to sleep.

Devcon must've had optics in the back of his head, because he said, "Take the berth. I don't need to recharge much."

I didn't wait for him to take it back. I hadn't had a decent recharge in two years. I'd wake from my fitful rest over and over, fearing asteroids or magnetic storms, barely getting enough of a break to keep myself going.

I sat on the berth and leaned back onto it gratefully. I shut off my holograms and rolled onto my side, facing the wall of the skimmer, then offlined my optics.

Despite my exhaustion, I couldn't quite drift away immediately. Hot Rod had been as tense as a guitar string ever since the confrontation in the hangar. He was curious, anxious, and relieved. I was calm and relaxed, meaning things had gone well, but it didn't give him much to work with.

I focused on sending my love to my brother. Things hadn't always gone smoothly for us, but absence makes the heart grow fonder, or so they say. I missed Hot Rod. He immediately understood and sent his own love back.

It had tempered into the right kind of love, the sort of like the love I felt for Mirage. We cared, we'd throw ourselves under a bus for each other, but it wasn't physical like Hot Rod had once hoped.

I suddenly felt the urge to get out of this tiny ship and kiss the stars. It was too warm, too still, too much like a trap for me to stand it. How had Skywarp managed to live down in the Autobot brig for an entire month when he'd known the kind of freedom I knew now?

I slipped to my feet, onlining my optics. Devcon looked at me over his shoulder.

"Something wrong?" He asked with what sounded like semi-genuine concern.

"Too cramped in here."

He nodded as if he'd expected it. "Go ahead and fly if you need to. Make sure your guidance system targets on the skimmer, and leave your comm link on. I'll wake you if something happens."

I stared at him for a second. He sounded like a dad advising his teenager to take her GPS and cell phone on the road trip. Did he have a mate and sparklings somewhere?

"Well?" He said gruffly.

I nodded quickly and went to the hatch. We only had the slightest pressure in the skimmer, so there was hardly any change when I opened the skimmer to space. I stepped outside, freeing myself of the skimmer's artificial gravity but keeping a grip on the frame, then turned and plugged into the door long enough to shut it.

Transforming into my jet mode was a little like slipping on an old, comfortable shoe. It didn't really fit but I'd stretched it out for so long that it felt right. I lined myself up with Devcon's skimmer and shot ahead of him. I'd show him what I meant when I said fast.

After I spent some time on acrobatics, partly for my own enjoyment and partly because I hoped he was watching, I settled down into a speed that matched his ship's, about a mile away from him. I did as he'd told me, targeting my guidance system and leaving our comm. link open.

I slid into recharge quickly with the knowledge that my chances of finding Skywarp had jumped dramatically. Devcon couldn't have appeared at a better time.

* * *

_Come in, Bravura. Rise and shine, we're approaching our destination. Get in here and put on your hologram._

I woke slowly, luxuriously. I'd been out for six days? As my cold systems hummed to life I turned and slipped back to the Skimmer. I'd been picking up solar power the entire time I was out, so my energon was humming with power. I felt great, better than I'd been since Skywarp left.

He had the hatch open for me, so I didn't transform back to robot mode until I'd crossed into the gravity of the skimmer. Big mistake. I miscalculated by a mile and slid into the wall in a mess of plate metal. Lucky for me Devcon's skimmer was Spartan, without any decoration or clutter for me to disrupt. He only looked at me over his shoulder with a defeated sigh.

"Close the hatch, please." He sounded like he'd been suffering the entire six days I'd been out.

"I can't," I squeaked. One of my legs was wedged under the berth and was stuck between one mode and the other. The rest of me was forced to stop transforming, so I probably looked like a scrap heap.

Devcon stood, walking to me without making a sound on the metal floor. "How are you not dead yet?" He asked as he grabbed my leg. With a twist, a shove, then a heave, he'd freed me. I finished transforming, finding myself sitting on the floor awkwardly.

"I have good friends," I said self-consciously.

"You'd have to."

"Why did you let me recharge so long?" I asked. I was glad he had, but I still had to ask.

"I didn't want to listen to you gabbing the whole trip."

Oh. So not out of courtesy after all. With an anxious rub over my optics, I realized I couldn't let Devcon grow to resent me. I needed him too much.

He held out his hand to me and helped me up. "Ok, time to get ready. All we're going to do is sit in one place and wait, ok? I've gotten some tips that a Con has been coming to this colony and demanding credits in exchange for protection. We're going to wait for him to come back."

I blinked. That was bounty hunting? Sitting around until the bad guy came to you?

"Well?" He growled. "Hologram, now."

I turned them on in a rush. Devcon could be so freaking scary with that cold stare.

A few breems later we were sitting in what reminded me of a run down café. Cracked windows lined the storefront and the inside was eclectically decorated with paintings and statues. The dominant species here was organic, a little shorter than me, and their skin matched the color and texture of a wet noodle.

There were a handful of Cybertronians here in the colony, but they were all on the move, going from one place to the next. None of the others were sitting and enjoying the scenery like we were.

Not that the scenery was much to look at. A lot of asteroid dust, a lot of metal, and a lot of faded and peeling paint. This was not a rich colony, definitely not rich enough to afford a greedy, bullying Decepticon's 'protection.'

After I'd finished the energon cube Devcon bought me I hunched over the table miserably.

"Sit up," he said calmly. "You can't look like you've been here long. Act like you're enjoying yourself."

"But it's been hours, Devcon."

"Yes."

"How much longer are we going to do this?"

"Until he shows up."

"How long will that be?"

"I don't know."

I groaned and sagged even lower, until that empty stare forced me to straighten back up.

The barest hint of a smile twitched at his lips and eyes. "Atta gir-... kid. What are we going to call you, anyway? Bravura's not going to work."

"I guess not… I don't know. I've never thought about it."

"How about Bunglebolt?"

I smiled gamely. "You thought of that off the top of your head?"

"I'm good." More of that tiny, barely there smile.

"As impressive as your intellect is, I think I'll have to pass."

"Ok… Spinner."

I leaned onto my elbows on the table, studying the bounty hunter. He was tilted back in his chair, alternately scanning the streets and looking at me, the epitome of the casual people watcher.

"Why Spinner?"

"When you were recharging in your alt mode you had a slow clockwise rotation. Four or five turns a breem, I'd say. Made your wings spin like a fan."

"Oh. Spinner, then." He'd been watching me in my recharge for at least a breem. I didn't know what to think of that. Then again, Spinner was better than plenty of other things I'd been called.

He nodded at the same time I did. It unnerved me how often we either did the same thing at the same time, or unconsciously mirrored the other's little motions after the fact. Either we thought alike or he was good at reading me.

Eventually the careworn café owner came to us and asked us to leave and not come back; we'd barely bought a thing and we'd managed to scare off his business all day.

I followed Devcon as he stalked down the street looking for another place to squat.

"I don't understand why they'd be scared of us," I said grumpily.

"Organics don't have the luxury of arms that double as guns, kid."

"But they outnumber us."

"Doesn't mean we aren't dangerous."

"You're an Autobot. You wouldn't hurt them."

"Not all of them know that."

I huffed my vents and gave it up. Devcon was obviously a patient mech, but he wasn't going to put up with me for long if I pushed him too hard.

* * *

"He's not coming," I grumbled into the brick wall behind me, my cheek pressed tight against the warmth.

"We don't know that. It was a reliable tip. He'll show. Relax," he reminded me.

I did my best to loosen up my tense posture. I wasn't used to inactivity. I'd spent years on alert, constantly burning thrusters and correcting my course.

"Devcon," I said softly, though I knew I would already have his attention. "Do you mind if I go fly around for a bit?"

He looks at me, faintly amused. "You can't stand being stuck in one place, can you?"

"It's not that… I just like flying."

Devcon shrugged. "Open comm. link at all times."

I nodded. "Yes, father."

Devcon snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "I hope you don't think I'm going to be the daddy you never had."

"Of course not. You wouldn't spoil me enough."

Devcon waved me away, so I jumped to my feet and into the air before he could change his mind.

* * *

It took just shy of an orn for the Decepticon to turn up. He came when it was very early, before most of the colony was up.

Devcon saw him first, alerting me with a wordless buzz on our comm. link. He'd assured me it was almost impossible to break into a well-established comm. link, so I wondered at the secrecy, but obediently came in from my slow orbit around the moon of the colony. He'd sent me away after three sleep/waking cycles of the natives, mostly because I was apparently a failure at looking casual, relaxed and nondescript despite my bland gray plating and boring hologram.

With a double buzz back I took a turn over the city, optics out for Devcon's blue paint. He was still where I'd left him, tucked away behind a patchy fence. Somebody from the street would have a tough time seeing him but he stood out from above, a splash of color in a drab town.

_Stay up,_ he said. He sounded more focused than ever. _Get some altitude. He is on the corner of this street heading south. Follow him but stay out of sight._

_**Roger.**_

_I wish you wouldn't speak gibberish._

_Copy that, squad leader._

_Try to take this seriously?_

_You got it._

I _was_ serious. I'd simply learned something from Hot Rod in my two years of constant spark reflection; when fighting, you are calm or even cheerful on the surface, and iron on the inside. I respected my brother, and so I did my best to imitate him.

I caught the hulking form just as he turned the corner. I climbed higher as Devcon had told me, then eased off on the thrusters until they were just barely enough to keep me afloat in the low gravity.

The Con was lurking through the streets deliberately, as if he had a particular destination in mind. I glanced around for Devcon and found he'd disappeared somewhere. The Decepticon stopped in front of a dark, shabby building and beat on its door. When there was no immediate response he beat again until the door opened. He shouldered his way in and I lost visual.

I dove to the street, transforming and landing more quietly than usual. Still no sign of Devcon. I pressed against the door, trying to pick up on what was happening inside.

"We don't have it, please-"

"How do you expect me to guard your sorry town if I don't have any support in return?" A crash, something shattering.

"Please! We'll have this payment and the next one, next time. There was a sickness, many of the families couldn't afford it this time!"

"Maybe I'll just take your spawn instead, meat sack. How many credits is a squishy worth?"

The organic voice dissolved into wails of fear, and I heard heavy metal feet moving around, more shattering, and suddenly high pitched shrieks. Enough.

I opened the door as silently as I could and saw the Decepticon was holding a tiny organic in its claws. I powered my plasma gun with a whistle and the whole scene froze, except for the baby creature, who kept wailing.

The red optics settled on me. "What have we here? Not an Autobot."

"No." I dropped my voice as low as I could.

"Go home, neutral. I don't feel like killing you today."

"You seem to be in the mood for bullying helpless organics. I'm not ok with that, Decepticon. Your 'protection' isn't necessary any more."

A grinding laugh burst from the Decepticon and he dropped the organic to the floor with a heavy thud. I winced, earning even louder guffaws.

"You picked a bad day to be the hero, runt." The Decepticon started towards me and I backed out of the home, trying to give the family inside as much space as possible to hide.

He followed me out, swinging a huge gun from his shoulder down into his hand.

_What the PIT are you doing?!_

_He was about to take one of the organics. I had to do something, Devcon._

_Primus, you're going to get yourself killed!_

_I wouldn't mind your help, to be honest._

_I'm almost in position, you just keep him distracted. Don't make him angry!_

"Scared, little bot?" The Decepticon asked.

"Not too bad."

"How honest. You make a good Autobot in theory, Tiny, but I don't think you'll make the _cut._" On the last word his free hand transformed into a screeching buzz saw. So, he wasn't going to shoot me down fast. He wanted to chop me up.

I brought my knife out on my free arm, my plasma gun still whirring angrily on the other. The Decepticon laughed again at the sight of my knife.

"What are you going to do with that? Clean out the space dust between my supports?"

"I think I'll cut your tension wires with it, then stab you in the neck. Or maybe the neck first. I'm flexible."

The Decepticon snarled and started to stalk towards me. I held my ground, waiting for the moment.

_Devcon?_

_Give me a breem._

_A breem?! I don't have a breem, Devcon!_

_Well, you wanted to fight him didn't you?_

_No! I wanted to help the organics! There's a difference!_

_I'll hurry._

"You look scared now, neutral."

"Yep." I shifted my posture just slightly to the left. He saw it, and so he expected me to dive left. I feinted the move, and instead rolled straight under him, stabbing like a snake between his ankle plates. I was on my feet and leaping onto his back before he hand a chance to react properly.

He didn't have Skywarp's long arms, so I found it was fairly easy to stay on the Con's back without getting snatched or cut. My real problem came when he decided to ram his back against one of the building just as I slashed into some wiring on the Con's shoulder. The stab disrupted his saw, forcing it to power down.

I dropped down, but my head was caught between him and the building. I got lucky; it was just before his leg joint, and so there was an open space. He couldn't crush my head completely. He leaned forward and I dropped to the ground, dazed.

I saw the hand coming, but I just couldn't move fast enough. He snatched me up and slammed me into the wall. It took him a moment to realize something was wrong with the picture.

My holograms weren't solid. His hand sank through the hologram on my waist and gripped clumsily on my much thinner shape. He snarled at me, a cruel smile coming to life on his ugly face, but then he looked down.

"What the slag? A hologram?"

I didn't wait for him to puzzle it out. I raised my plasma gun and shot him right in the face. He roared and stumbled back, but he didn't let go. As he raised me into the air I transformed my gun into a knife and used them both to slash urgently into the Con's wrist. Three quick, terrified stabs later, his thumb went slack and I tumbled from his grip just before he smashed me into the wall again.

The Con suddenly jerked, jittered, and then fell to the ground just feet away from me. A tiny object had imbedded itself in his neck. It emitted a bright yellow energy field.

_I hope that was you, Devcon._

_It was. Don't touch him. Be there in a moment._

I sat down in the dust, cradling my aching processor. The bastard had squished me pretty good. Devcon found me that way, and after firing a few more somethings that didn't sound like gunshots into the downed Decepticon, knelt down next to me.

"You ok, kid?"

"Yeah, everything works. Just feel like I stuck my head in a garbage disposal."

"Still got your balance?"

I struggled to my feet, Devcon rising with me. I rocked forward unintentionally, but his hand steadied me.

"We'll get your helm popped back into shape and give it some time. If your auto-repair doesn't take care of it, I'll find you a medic."

"Thanks. What took you so long?"

"First I had to set up the stasis gun, then I had to power it, and finally, I wanted to see how you did. Not bad, but I don't think you would've lasted much longer."

"Nope. Thanks for letting me twist in the wind like that."

"You're fine," he scolded. He took my arm and hooked it over his shoulder, which he had to dip down a bit for me to reach comfortably. In the next few steps we took I was thankful for it, as my head was spinning wickedly. "I just wanted to see what you were capable of."

"I hope I did a good job at being the bait," I snapped, still pressing one hand to my throbbing head.

"You offered to fill the part, if I recall."

I groaned. "What are you going to do with the Decepticon? He's not going to fit on the skimmer."

"I popped a couple more stasis rounds into him. They contain tracking beacons. My client will likely have him picked up before we make it back to the skimmer."

"Your client? How would they get here that fast?"

"Classified."

"Oh."

* * *

Devcon was unexpectedly gentle as he pried my crushed helm off of my frame. I surprised myself by actually whimpering when he had to give it a good jerk, but he didn't comment.

I watched him pound the helm back into shape, then let him solder a few minor energon lines on my face.

"You'll probably always have a scuff there on your cheek. Guess the mechs will have to like you for your personality. Good luck, there."

I sighed. Skywarp already liked me, or at least I thought he did. He'd seemed like… well, I'd thought he'd loved me, back in the Chihuahuan Desert on Earth… but he'd left, so maybe I was wrong.

Devcon patted my shoulder. "I'm kidding, Bravura. Nobody will even notice the scuff."

I whipped up my best fake smile. "Oh, that's not it, Devcon. Just thinking about home."

Devcon's narrowed his optics. "You're not as old as you look, are you?"

I shook my head. "I grew fast. Took after Frenzy, I guess."

The bounty hunter chuckled as he slipped my helm back on, clicking it into place. I felt the wiring reconnecting and feeling buzzed back into my helm. I moaned, and leaned forward and would've smacked into my friend's face if he hadn't leaned back so quickly.

"Yeah, that'll probably hurt a while," the blue mech said unapologetically. "So, you think you'll be as big as him? I only met him once, but he was a mountain of a mech."

"Hard to say… Frequency was big too." I felt ridiculous mentioning Frequency. Wait until Skywarp heard that one…

"You might turn out like Omega Supreme someday, kid. Shuttling the important guys around."

"Omega Supreme?"

Devcon sat on the berth next to me, leaning against the wall and staring at the ceiling. I didn't feel like moving, so I stayed where I was, hunched over with my head in my hands.

"Giant mech, an Autobot. His alt mode's a rocket shuttle. He transports soldiers and equipment for the fleet. Gets them orbiting so they can travel in their protoforms if they have to."

"You don't use your protoform. You use the skimmer."

"Yes. It beats stripping plates and rebuilding them all of the time."

"You're rich, aren't you?"

"Sometimes. That Con back there won't be worth much, enough for fuel and maintenance for a while."

"How do they pay you?"

"I have an interstellar account. They make remote deposits."

"What do they want with the Decepticons anyway?"

"Don't know, kid. All I know is that they always want 'em functioning."

I considered that through the ache in my processor. Was Devcon an unknowing participant in yet another slave market?

* * *

R & R, lovelies!


	3. Chapter 3

Time for me to tell ya'll what I've been reading! pl2363 has some really great stuff. I've read Solar Flare (squee!) and Fire and Ice (more squee!) There's even a little bit of Starscream… so check 'em out and review 'em like the good folks you are. Well, unless you don't like slash. In that case, you should probably pass.

* * *

Devcon left me to recharge while he set new coordinates. I felt too crummy to fly, so I used the berth until I felt better.

When I came out of recharge Devcon was gone. He'd landed the skimmer and left without waking me up.

_Devcon? _I queried our comm. link.

_Morning, sunshine. How's the helm?_

_Better. Are you very far?_

_No. _

_Where are we?_

_Cantina. _

_Looking for leads?_

_Yes._

_You're busy, aren't you?_

_Bingo._

_Can I come out?_

_Sure. Holograms on, no talking, try to swagger. Back, left corner._

I snorted at his Bravura-in-public checklist, but obeyed. The boring mech hologram came on, I practiced my man walk, then left the skimmer.

The cantina was little more than a big satellite over a sad looking mucus green planet. The skimmer was docked via tether with several other small ships. The place looked awfully seedy, but Devcon knew what he was doing.

The place was dark, smelly, and dirty. I did my best not to look offended, just headed for the dark corner where Devcon sat with another mech. The stranger sized me up as I approached.

"Kickswitch, Spinner." Devcon barely raised his head to look at me.

He nodded, and suddenly I was in. They turned their attention back to each other, so I sat in the free chair.

"I don't know anything this time, I'm telling you," Kickswitch said irritably. "Aside from that Seeker nobody can get a lead on… It's dry out there."

I jerked upright, earning a glare from both of the mechs.

"What's your problem, punk?" Kickswitch growled. "Scared of the big bad Decepticon?"

I shook my head emphatically while Devcon explained. "His vocal processor's out. He's green, still thinks he can take down the whole army on his own."

Kickswitch scoffed and drained his energon, standing up. "I'm on a tight schedule. Sorry I couldn't help ya, Devcon."

"Don't worry about it, Switch. Keep an optic out for me."

Devcon glared at me as soon as Kickswitch was gone. "What was that?" he hissed.

"What? What did I do?" I whispered back.

"You practically jumped out of your seat when he said 'Seeker,' you dumbaft! He's going to remember that, probably sell us out to the next one he sees."

"Oh, what a _great _friend! Let him! Maybe it'll be the one I'm looking for, and he'll come right to us!"

"Or maybe it'll be a total stranger who flies in with his trine!"

"Calm down," I grumbled.

"Back in the ship."

He was still glaring at me when I jerked my head up. "Why?! I didn't do anything!"

"You're not ready for this. You act like everybody's your friend, when it's the opposite."

"So you're grounding me? For not being suspicious of everyone?"

"No! I'm 'grounding' you because you're going to call attention to us with your weird little quirks."

"How could anybody notice me when I look like the most boring bot in existence?"

He leaned in close to me. "Don't you ever forget what they'd do to you if those holograms failed, Spinner."

Shock splashed over my face, then I slumped in my chair in defeat. "Fine. I'll go back to the skimmer."

Devcon sighed. "Come on, kid. I'm trying to do what's best for you. Look, I'll bring you a little high grade when I head back, ok?"

"You're bribing me?"

"Yes! You looked so slagging miserable, stupid kid…" he trailed into unintelligible mutters.

I controlled my urge to smile. He liked me. He couldn't even deal with one little sulk without caving at least a little.

"Thanks, daddy," I whispered, wishing I'd figured out how Mirage managed to wink. He gave me a death glare, so I got up and walked quickly back towards the door.

Except that someone stepped in front of me. I tried to duck around the black mech, but he sidestepped with me.

"Excuse me," I grumbled in as deep a voice as I could pull.

"Sit down," the mech growled.

His feet were huge. I was afraid to look up at him. "On my way out." My voice sounded ridiculous.

"I said _sit down._"

I finally glanced up. The mech stared down at me, a cruel smile twisting his face. I eyed the table he was offering me, which was occupied by way too many mechs for my comfort. Most of them were painted predominantly black or dark gray.

He reached out to touch me, but I jerked back reflexively. I couldn't let him get through the hologram. I backed into something solid and metal.

I prayed it was Devcon, but I was disappointed. Dark gray metal. There was only one place left to go, so I darted for the chair and sat, even as the whole table laughed at me.

_Devcon…_

_I see you. Stay calm. Relax your shoulders, lean back. No, don't cross your legs!_

I did as he told me, feeling all of their optics on me. What did they want?

"Have a cube," the big one who'd gotten in my way said as I sat down. A gray mech slid a hot pink cube to me across the table. I caught it, but didn't taste it. I still hadn't asked Devcon if there was such a thing as an energon roofie.

They all stared at me expectantly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch your names."

The black mech scowled. "You gonna tell me what I wanna know?"

I stiffened. "I don't know what you want to know."

"Stuff it. I want to know who's hiding under that hologram."

"Hologram?" My voice jumped to my regular pitch, earning another laugh from the table.

_Devcon, they know I'm wearing holograms! They think I'm spying or something!_

_I'm coming._

"Listen you little slag heap, you better start giving me information or we'll take this to my ship-"

"Getting into trouble again, Spinner?" Devcon was right behind me. I nodded curtly.

"You with the mole?" The big black mech stood up, easily twenty-two or twenty-three feet tall.

"A mole? He'd have to infiltrate you first, and he obviously wants to be anywhere but here. In fact, I remember telling him to go clean my skimmer, and instead I catch him socializing. If you'll excuse us, I'm going to make sure he does the job."

"Not the only job he'll be doing," one of the mechs snickered, followed by more laughter.

I stood up quickly. Devcon jerked his head and I fell in beside him. He already had a cube of high grade in his hand, which he passed to me. Several mechs from the table rushed to stop us.

"If he's not a spy, why is he hiding under that hologram?"

"Bad paint job. He's embarrassed. You know, the prissy type," Devcon said it as if he could care less.

"Prove it."

Devcon suddenly turned on the big mech, the big gun attached to his arm growling as it powered. "We don't want any trouble."

"What's that, a little pea-shooter?"

"I don't know, let's stick it up your tailpipe and find out."

_Run for the skimmer. If I don't follow, transform and get out of here._

I darted out the door, trusting that the bounty hunter knew what he was doing. A roar followed me, but I didn't stop until I heard the sounds of glass shattering.

I skidded to a halt, looking back. "**What do I do?**" I hissed. I should be in there helping him… but he was tough. He could handle it. I couldn't risk them getting under my hologram.

I reached the skimmer, jumping in as soon as I got the door open. I tossed the cube on the berth and went back to the door, peeking through it carefully.

A half-minute passed and he didn't come. I itched to get back in there. He was outnumbered... but if they saw me…

Then it hit me. Alt modes don't have curves.

I burst from the skimmer, transforming smoothly and smashing through the door of the cantina within seconds of my realization.

It was a bedlam in there. People were screaming, punches were flying, but thankfully no gunshots. I swept inside and spun, thrusters working overtime in the unaccustomed gravity. I finally spotted Devcon pinned under the huge black mech.

Without thinking I slammed into the big mech, giving him a nice dent as I simultaneously peeled him off of my friend.

"Seeker!" someone shrieked in Common. Several others took up the cry. I transformed long enough to turn on a dime, leaping off of the chest of the stunned mech and transforming back to my alt mode.

_Grab on!_ I yelled to Devcon through the comm. link, slowing to a near stop next to him as he climbed to his feet. Devcon stared at me for one agonizing second before leaping onto my back._ Oof. You're heavier than you look._

"Step off, you slaggers!" I growled at a couple of mechs who looked like they were about to get involved. The two dove behind the bar.

"His voice was so screechy!" I heard one of the mechs say to his friend from behind the bar. "It's Starscream!"

_Just go! _Devcon yelled into our comm. link.

I burned my thrusters, barely missing an organic on the way out. I didn't transform until we were in the skimmer, slamming both of us into the wall and rocking the small ship on its tether.

For one brief moment Devcon was lying over me, limbs tangled with mine, but then he was on his feet. The skimmer roared to life, there was a whirring squeal as the tether retracted, and we took off as fast as we could from a cold start.

I scrambled up and went to shut the hatch, then leaned against the wall, vents buzzing angrily. "Are we ok?"

"I'm ok. Are you?"

"I'm good."

I went to the berth and sat down heavily, sighing angrily. "That was all my fault. I'm an idiot."

"Yeah, but you'll learn."

I looked up at Devcon from his seat at the console, then realized bright blue energon was dripping down his neck. Before I had time to think about what _he_ would think I was standing next to him, tilting his head to one side to find the source of the leak. Somebody had managed to crunch the corner of his helm in, slicing the energon line underneath.

"You need this fixed, it's totally severed," I told him.

"You got a patch kit?"

"Yeah… I've never fixed a severed line, though… Just heard the 'how to' lecture."

"You said you lived with Ratchet on Earth? Optimus Prime's CMO?"

"Yeah…"

"Then you can do it."

"Ok… well, go lay down. I've got to get your helm pried up to get it off."

He tapped the autopilot on and went to the berth without a protest.

I flipped my field repair kit out, a fairly extensive set that was embedded in both arms. "Aren't you worried they'll follow us?"

"Nope. They were all convinced they were dealing with a Seeker. Maybe even the Aerial Commander. Nobody is going to chase after you now."

"Aerial Commander? Just because I was flying?"

"Mostly your alt mode. You don't see many tetrajets on civilians, kid. It helped that you were flying like a maniac."

I snorted. "Well, I got the blueprints from my Seeker friend, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

I sat down on the berth next to Devcon, working out how I'd pry up his armor. I gripped a ridge on his helm, hooked my fingertips under the pinched-in piece, and pulled.

He growled, so I stopped. It'd barely moved at all.

"Did I hurt you?"

"Yeah, but it's going to, can't be helped. Try again."

I did, and after several strained minutes I got the piece pulled back to halfway normal and slid the helm off. He barely winced at all when I began applying my tools to his energon line, pulling them together, staunching the flow, then oh so carefully reconnecting them. I was terrified I'd mess up, but he'd probably live even if I failed. We could always run him to a real medic.

After I was sure the lines were airtight I released the flow and massaged the wiring, allowing energon to spurt back into the drained lines. Nothing leaked, but it was obvious a novice had done the hack job. I turned my attention the helm, straining myself pulling the armor back to its original shape until Devcon's hand rested on mine.

"Don't bother, I'll do it." He lifted his helm from my careful grasp and did the work himself, struggling with it until it was more or less back to normal. He slid the helm back on, grunting as the sensory system reconnected.

"Taste of your own medicine, eh Devcon?"

He looked at me oddly. "You going to drink that energon?"

I glanced to the foot of the berth. The white-pink cube glowed invitingly, and before I knew it a chuckle bubbled up and escaped my lips, followed by a burst of real laughter.

Devcon eyed me like I'd picked up a virus. "What's so funny?"

I leaned over my lap, easing into giggles, and then managing words. "It's just… During all that, I still managed to save the fraggin' energon."

"Good priorities. Pass it here, would you?"

I leaned over his legs and plucked it up, then delivered it to him. He immediately drained half the cube, sighing to himself as he lifted the cube away. Instead of finishing it, he handed the half-full cube to me.

"I don't need it," I said awkwardly. My first and only experience with high grade had been a train wreck.

"Nobody _needs_ high grade. Settles your nerves. I know you were scared back there. You did fine, Bravura. You deserve it."

I nodded uncertainly, then reached for the cube. Devcon wasn't Starscream. He wouldn't have an ulterior motive. Besides, he already drank half.

I tilted the cube to him in a casual toast then drained it. It sizzled electrically down my throat all the way to my tank. The blue high grade hadn't burned like this. My vocal processors made a popping sound, earning a rare grin from Devcon.

"I wish I hadn't left Earth as soon as I did… Mirage would know why mechs are seeing through my hologram."

"Probably a combination of a bad wavelength on your generator and somebody with the equipment designed to pick up those kinds of flaws."

"You know how to fix it?"

"Nope." He smiled at my disappointment, then reached out and pulled me next to him. "Just relax. We're fine, and now we know you're not safe around anybody but organics."

I took a deliberate gulp of air into my intake, then cycled it out slowly, settling against the wall next to Devcon. My connection to Hot Rod helped, his concern and relief and love calming me down. Then again, the high grade was probably helping.

Devcon laid an arm over my shoulder, and for some reason I didn't mind. In fact, I realized I'd desperately wanted _somebody _to reassure me like that. In the weeks between Skywarp's departure and my own I hadn't been alone once. I'd followed Mirage, Prowl, Ratchet, or even Optimus around every day and curled up with Hot Rod every night. I missed them all so much, especially Hot Rod.

Devcon squeezed me a little. "You ok?"

I nodded too quickly. "Yeah, yeah. Homesick again."

"You were thinking about someone?"

"My spark twin."

Devcon whistled. "Well, well. So there are at least two free femmes running around this galaxy?"

"Well… no. He's definitely a mech."

Devcon looked down at me questioningly. "I thought being spark twins meant your spark splits. You'd be the same."

"It does… but Hot Rod and I aren't very typical."

"Hot Rod! I've heard about that maniac!" He grew silent, then laughed softly. "That explains why you fight the way you do. You both leap before you look."

I grinned, leaning against Devcon a little. "He's a lot better at getting his own aft out of trouble, I think."

"But you have good friends."

I smiled as he gently mocked me. "I guess I do. At least one, anyway."

"Don't get all mushy on me, kid."

"You're the one hugging on me."

"I'm not 'hugging on' you. Anyway, you looked like you needed it."

I nodded, tilting my head against Devcon's chest. "Once the Autobots came, I was never alone. I got used to it."

"Well, don't get used to this," he said gruffly. "I'm just glad you're ok. I don't want to be blamed for the death of a femme."

Another stab of bitterness to my spark. I kept forgetting what I meant to Devcon, to the whole species. The thwarted chance to build another generation…

"It makes you angry, doesn't it."

I looked up at Devcon, but his expression was blank. "What does?"

"Being the prize. Being expected to save us all."

I nodded. "How'd you know?"

"You wear your emotions on your sleeve. You're also a very bad liar…" He saw my dread at being found out and shook his head. "Bravura, I know you haven't told me the truth about some things. I know there are some things you probably can't tell me, and I won't pry… But when the time comes, promise not to lie to me about the important things, ok?"

I nodded numbly. "I promise."

"Atta girl."

* * *

I woke up later to the sound of a humming system.

"**You're takin' up the whole berth, Hot Rod… You fatty…**"

I onlined my optics to push my twin over. I gave him a heave. He barely moved, something I'd expected. I jerked from helm to toe when saw blue paint rather than red and realized I was squished between the wall of the skimmer and Devcon's recharging form.

His optics brightened and I squeaked nervously.

"Oh, oh. I'm sorry," I stammered. "I should let you have your berth," I choked anxiously, awkwardly trying to climb over the mech without touching him.

"It's ok, kid. The high grade put you out, and I didn't have the spark to wake you. My head is spinning like a top, so I didn't want to move either."

"No, I should've moved. It's your skimmer."

I heard Devcon sigh as I raced to the console and sat in his seat, mostly to avoid looking at him. I had no intention of touching the controls. How could I have let that happen? Even if it had been totally innocent, what would Skywarp think?

I curled my oddly shaped legs beneath me in the large chair. I didn't want to leave Devcon alone in the skimmer when he was recovering, but there wasn't much for me to do. In space, I'd spent a lot of time rereading files on Cybertronians and their culture, but most of all I'd played Mirage's lessons over and over.

My perfect signature control was a gift from those lessons. Two years of doing little more than be quiet had given me at least that much. I opened the file and began running the most complicated one he'd given me, Mirage's cultured and evenly toned voice soothing even now.

* * *

Not much later I woke as someone gently lifted me up. I snuggled into the chest, sighing. "**Did I fall asleep on the deck again, Hot Rod?**"

"What?"

For the second time my whole body jerked. I flailed my arms out wildly, yelping when the back of my hand connected hard with solid metal.

"Ouch, kid. Relax, it's me."

I flinched, looking up at Devcon's blank face. "What are you doing?" Accusation crept into my tone.

"I'm feeling better. Not bad enough to keep lying around anyway, so I figured I'd take the chair and switch you to the berth."

"Oh… Well, I can move on my own."

Devcon set me down on my feet and I slid to the hatch. "Actually, I think I'd rather-"

"Go flying? Ok. Actually, no, wait. I want to give you something."

I turned back to the Autobot curiously. "What is it?"

"Tracking beacons. Two of them, in case you break one."

He knelt next to the berth and opened a small panel in the wall I'd never bothered to notice. Two small round red objects rolled around as he pulled a drawer out. He picked them up and held them out to me. I took them, letting them roll in my palm. They looked like cherries to me. I opened the hip compartment that had once been crowded with energon rations and dropped the beacons in to join the last two slivers of energon from home.

I realized this meant Devcon was serious about watching out for me. I looked up at him and smiled brightly. "Thanks, Devcon." He was still kneeling, so I leaned over and hugged him self-consciously, then dashed to the hatch and slipped out as quickly as I could.

* * *

Devcon grunted metallically as I slipped behind him, twisting his arm just a little past its normal range of motion. I smiled to myself and followed his steps as he tried to twist around, changed wrists as he swung with his free arm then began to walk him to his knees when- **thwack, screeeetch!**

He got my legs out from under me, and I slid awkwardly on my heel to my aft. Suddenly I was on my belly, arms behind my back. I couldn't help but remember a time this had happened with Mirage…

"Not bad, kid, but you leave yourself open." Devcon released me and I pushed myself off the floor. We were in an abandoned outpost. I'd asked Devcon if he wanted to help me brush up on my defense, and he'd agreed willingly enough. He'd also mopped the floor with me more times than I liked to admit.

I looked down at myself and sighed. I was covered in lights scratches from all the times Devcon had managed to knock me down, pin me, or both at the same time.

"This wasn't so hard with Mirage," I said ruefully.

"Your friend Mirage probably went easy on you."

"You're probably right." I rolled my shoulders, trying to shake out the tightness in my joints.

He watched me, then came up to me knelt next to me. He took my upper arm without a word. He started rotating my arm around on its joint to the point where it hurt. When I complained, he only shushed me and continued methodically moving and twisting my shoulder.

The Autobot released me, and I flexed my arm. Surprisingly, the joint felt worlds better. I looked up at the inexpressive mech in surprise. "What'd you do?"

"You need some maintenance. Your lubricant is thickening up by the looks of it, so I just got it moving a little. Want me to do the other?"

I nodded and he shifted behind me. I didn't complain as he pulled my shoulder around this time, and when he was done I looked up at him in relief. "Thanks, I didn't even realize they felt that stiff."

"Long distance traveling will do that to you. I don't have any leads we can tackle yet, so I think I'll take you to an old friend of mine and get you checked out." Devcon rose to his feet, pulling me up with him.

I crossed my arms over my chest nervously. "A medic? But what if he wants to do a system check and… sees my spark?"

"I've known him through the whole war. He's reliable, and he won't take advantage of the situation."

"Is he an Autobot?"

"No."

"Then I don't trust him."

A smile just barely tugged at the corners of Devcon's mouth, and he wrapped his arm over my shoulders, guiding me back to the skimmer. "Your faith is touching, but a mech can be trustworthy without being a soldier. _I _trust him. You trust _me,_ don't you?"

"Yes," I grumbled.

"Ok, then. It's settled. We'll go see Butcher."

"Butcher? That name isn't very reassuring."

"It's more of a nickname."

I climbed into the skimmer, gaining a few feet in height, enough to almost look Devcon in the optic. "He'd better be good, or I'm going to nickname _you_ Bunglebolt."

"Hey, that's my joke."

I leaned over and poked him right in the center of his Autobot insignia. "Mine now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Devcon lunged at me and I shrieked, ducking into the skimmer. The close space meant I couldn't run, so when I tried to put the pilot's chair between us Devcon just reached over and grabbed me by the waist, pulling me around the chair. He hefted me up, then in a surprising show of strength flipped me upside down and dangled me by the knee.

I swiped at him, but he only held me out a little farther. "You still feel like stealing my jokes?"

I crossed my arms sulkily, tilting my neck to see up to his optics. "Fine, take the stupid joke. It wasn't even funny."

"You know what _would_ be pretty funny?"

"No."

"I'll show you."

"I'd like to see-"

Devcon dropped me. Just like that, I was a pile of irate metal.

"Hey! Hey, no, don't laugh! That wasn't funny, that was cheap!" I climbed to my feet, glaring at the chuckling bounty hunter.

He reached out and rubbed my helm affectionately. "You're cute when you're angry."

"Yeah, well… you're ugly all the time," I groused as I sat on the berth.

He feigned a shot to the chest. "Oh, the sting of Bravura's injured pride. How ever can I survive the trauma?"

"Maybe Butcher will put you out of your misery."

Devcon chucked again as he turned to the console, and I finally couldn't help but smile.

About a joor later Devcon was showing me how to pilot the skimmer. It was easy enough, being a flyer myself, but I didn't know what all the buttons meant. It didn't take long for Devcon to realize I couldn't read.

"You're illiterate? That Mirage fellow never taught you how to read?"

"No… Nothing was ever written in Cybertronian in the base. I'm sure he knew how, he was an Elite growing up…"

"Sounds like an Elite, taking his privileges for granted."

"He's not like that. He was my best friend."

"Ok, ok. I guess that goes on the list of things to get you up to speed on."

I nodded, getting up from the chair. "Hey, Devcon? You said early that you didn't have any leads we can tackle _yet_… Do you mean, you have some but you don't think I can handle them?"

Devcon eyed me as he sat down in his chair. "Yes. I'm beginning to see that you can't stand to sit on the sidelines… But some of those guys won't toy with you like the last one. They'll just blow you to pieces, no questions."

"I'll be more careful next time."

"We'll let the medic take a look at you first, ok? I should probably have him check out the patch job you did on me, too."

I nodded and went to the berth, flopping down on my stomach and stretching out luxuriously. "Why are you a bounty hunter, Devcon? Why not join a squad and fight?"

Devcon grunted. "I do my best work alone."

I considered that, laying the side of my face on my folded arms to watch the back of the Autobot's head. "Does that mean you wish I wouldn't follow you around?"

"No, it doesn't. It gets… lonely. It would be a plus if you weren't as green as you are, but you're better than space dust."

Smiling, I rolled onto my back, careful of my wings. Devcon's now upside-down form barely moved; he wasn't doing any piloting, just didn't want to look at me. "I like you too."

"Like's got nothing to do with it.

"Oh. Whatever the reason, I'd be in trouble without you."

"No question there."

I sighed and looked up at the ceiling. Sometimes he could be so shut off, and other times, like after sparring, he was as playful as a youngling. Maybe he was still getting comfortable with me. Then again, even if he was a grumpy old fart half the time… He was still better than space dust.

* * *

R & R :)


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for all of the love, everyone! It means a lot ; ) The number of clicks are thrillifying : ) Oddly enough, FI is still getting a ton of attention… Maybe cuz people actually believed me when I said it was readable. Silly, gullible, wonderful people : ) The favs and alerts mean a lot to me, and if you reviewed… well, you made my day : )

* * *

When imagining what a mech named 'Butcher' must look like, I tended towards gory. I could just see him, his paintjob a sickly color that never stayed the same for more than a few seconds, slick with bright red organic blood. Severed Human and Cybertronian fingers would be sticking out of the iron wool that served as his wild hair, his eyes glowing Decepticon crimson. His hands would be axes.

In reality Butcher was beautiful. His paintjob was a sleek, gleaming white; so smooth I wondered if he'd feel silky, like a cat. A Red Cross lay smack in the middle of his chest, not so broad as those of the soldiers I'd grown accustomed to. Red and silver framed his face, wrists, waist and feet.

His eyes were a cheery blue, lighter than most mechs I'd known. He had a classic look about him, something that drew me to stare.

Devcon caught my eye and smirked. I looked down quickly; I didn't want Butcher to catch me staring too.

Devcon had explained to me on the trip that Butcher worked in the only fully neutral medical station in the sector. All of the other stations were either completely or partially run by the Autobots. Tricora, Butcher's medical station, would treat anyone, including a Decepticon, so long as he agreed to have his weapons disabled during his stay.

Butcher in particular was well known for being discreet. Devcon confided in me that normally he'd go to an Autobot controlled station for maintenance, but I think he sensed that I'd be opposed to it. I didn't want the Autobots finding me and feeling the need to squirrel me away somewhere in order to keep me safe. I had things to do.

"Where did you find her?" Butcher asked Devcon softly as he examined the patch job I'd done on the bounty hunter.

"Wandering around a port, about ready to drop from lack of energon."

The gleaming medic tsked and transformed his own arm into an impressively complex piece of equipment. He raised it to Devcon's head and made a few tweaks to my work, then looked over his shoulder to me and smiled.

"Not bad, for someone who's never done this before."

My spark jerked at the smile. I'd never seen anyone as stunning as Butcher. Hot Rod had been charmingly handsome, Mirage had been aristocratic and composed (when he wasn't playing with me in the halls), and Bumblebee had a young jock kind of appeal… But Butcher should have been in movies, posing shirtless for cologne ads… Except that robots don't wear cologne. Or shirts.

Butcher was still smiling, a definite counterpoint to Devcon's own sneaky half smile. "Bravura, isn't it?"

I nodded dumbly.

"Was something bothering you?"

"No," I blurted.

"She needs her lubricant checked… probably needs everything checked, really," Devcon said. I would've thrown something at that cocky barely-there smile if I could've.

"Hmm." The medic came to me where I sat on the exam table and gently took one arm, his smile softening into a reassuring thoughtfulness. He rolled my shoulder, then my elbow, going much more slowly than Devcon had and causing no discomfort.

When he reached my wrist I was glad I couldn't blush. I did realize that my cooling system was humming a little louder than normal, but maybe he wouldn't notice.

He curled my wrist, commenting on the high range of motion there, then worked his way down my fingers, bending and flexing each one. I didn't notice anything strange, but he worked at my pinky a bit longer than the rest until he was satisfied.

I looked up from my hand as he released me, avoiding Devcon's suggestive stare. I had the suspicion that Devcon had taken me to Butcher with the sole goal of watching me squirm.

"Well, you _are_ low on fluids, not critical. I think it's mostly dust and grit, so we'll get you into an acid bath and see how that helps, then go from there. Sound good?"

A bath? I found myself nodding my head sort of sideways, not quite a yes, not quite a no.

His beautiful face soured, and suddenly his hands were holding me firmly by the jaw line, manipulating my head as he had my arms.

"What are you doing?" I squeaked.

"You were… askew," Butcher said.

"Probably just overwhelmed," Devcon said. I could hear the laughter he was hiding just under the surface.

The medic released me and I involuntarily reached up to touch one of the places his hands had held me.

"Understandable. I'll go have Pinch get the acid bath ready, I'm sure you don't want to be kept waiting."

Butcher was suddenly gone, taking much of the brightness of the room with him.

"You _like_ him," Devcon said playfully a few moments after the door clicked shut.

"I do not," I yelped shrilly.

"Yes, you do. I could hear your vents buzzing from over here!"

"You could?" I gasped.

"You've got the hots for a medic!"

"I do _not!_" I leapt from the exam table, landing on Devcon and furiously trying to wrap my fingers around the bounty hunter's thick armored neck. "Take it back!"

"Make me!" Devcon twisted me underneath him, breaking my hold and trying to put me in a headlock.

"Oh I will!" I slipped free and jumped on his back, pulling his head backwards by his helm.

Butcher chose that moment to come back. He stopped in the doorway mid sentence.

I dropped off of Devcon like a fat fly, landing awkwardly on my back on the floor. Devcon chuckled and sat back down in his chair, a tiny knowing smile tugging at his mouth.

"Good to see you're… revived," Butcher said, that perfect smile making my spark shiver.

"Yes," I said pointlessly.

"Come along with me, and Pinch will help you with the acid bath." Butcher shifted, showing that another white and red mech was standing behind him.

I hesitated. "Um… I… I've never had an acid bath."

The beautiful smile faltered, replaced by something a little more pitying. "Oh, don't worry. It's very soothing."

* * *

Butcher was right, it _was_ soothing. I'd been afraid to step into the acid, mostly a throwback of my organic past. Pinch had swished his hand in the acid to prove it wouldn't harm me, and only then would I get in. He'd helped me loosen all of my plating, piling most of it by the side of the tub.

The bath was sunken into the floor, so that while I relaxed into the acid he could kneel down by the side and run my plates through. I could see the difference in the pieces he treated and the ones he hadn't gotten to yet.

Pinch's name suited him. He was slight, with small features and a nasal voice. He was extremely kind, however, and I quickly grew to like him, until he brought up my least favorite subject.

"It's been a long time since we've had a femme come in," he said quietly, using a tiny brush to get at the tougher grime.

I didn't comment, just swished my hands over my frame to try to remove the grit and grime, so he continued. "The last one came in on the brink… We tried to help her, but there's only so much we can do."

He looked up and caught my icy stare, smiling uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, you don't want to hear that. Don't worry, you're safe here. We're all on board."

He set down the last piece of plating, then came to kneel behind me.

"Duck under and I'll get what you can't reach. It's hard cleaning what you can't see."

I obeyed, offlining my optics the same way I'd close my eyes in the pool. I shook my head around, then scooted back up. Pinch carefully began scrubbing at my head, and after a while I decided I'd leave my optics off. I had human memories of being pampered, but I hadn't been able to enjoy myself like this since I'd met Skywarp.

Devcon was waiting in the other room. I guessed bathing like this was kind of personal, though I didn't understand why. I'd run around in nothing but my frame for weeks in Autobot City, and none of them had ever seemed bothered by it. Then again, I'd been the size of a youngling the last time I'd seen Autobot City.

"You awake? Good, lean forward and I'll get your back. Oh, look at these wings…"

He ran a hand along my leftmost wing, a tiny base for alt mode plating when in its frame form. I shivered, and he snatched his hand away. "Sorry, I forgot how sensitive they are."

"It's ok," I said quietly. The sensation was still humming down my spine, something I'd taken advantage of during my nights with Skywarp. He'd loved when I'd just lie there and stroke his beautiful purple-edged wings.

"How's it going in here?" Butcher asked from the doorway. I noticed he didn't actually look in, just cracked the door.

"Just fine," Pinch said. "You wouldn't believe how much is coming off of her!"

"Oh? Do you mind, Bravura?"

"No, come on in."

Butcher slipped in the room, shutting the door quietly behind him. He whistled musically as he approached the bath. "You're a lot shinier than I expected. Bet you didn't even realize you were that dirty, huh?"

I felt myself grinning like an idiot, but I didn't care. Butcher thought I was shiny.

"May I see your hand?" Butcher asked politely, kneeling next to Pinch.

"Ah… ok." I lifted my hand from the acid, shaking it off before holding it up to Butcher.

He gently kneaded my fingers again, nodding to himself. "Much better, but you still need

some fluids. How long has it been since you had a systems check, Bravura?"

"Um… not quite a couple of stellar cycles."

"Do you mind if I run one later? In the exam room, of course."

I smiled self-consciously. Was this the difference between soldiers and neutrals? The Autobots had been unabashed, and aside from Hot Rod they'd ignored my femininity. Hot Rod had the easiest time seeing me in a different light because he'd been exposed to all of my memories. He knew how mature I'd been physically. He'd reflected that on my new form.

If I'd been essentially a youngling… No wonder Mirage had been so unhappy about me living with Skywarp. It must have been like watching a young teenager run off with a thirty-year-old biker. I refused to believe Skywarp had been taking advantage of me; he'd known me as the physically and (sometimes) emotionally mature human I'd once been. That was the person he'd grown attached to, not the half grown femme body I'd been reborn into.

* * *

Letting Butcher see into my spark casing was more nerve wracking than I could have expected. I didn't want him to see my deformed spark, even if it had saved my life before. Why should I care if some pretty medic thought my spark was hideous?

He didn't comment, but it seemed like he did take a second glance. I might not have noticed if I hadn't been watching for his reaction, but even so he plugged into my core so quickly that I questioned if he'd even really looked.

I felt him coursing through my systems, detached and efficient. He withdrew in just a few minutes, then closed my chassis for me. "Everything checks out. You're aware your alt mode is too small for you?"

I nodded, unwilling to explain my attachment to it.

"We have some blue prints if you would like to…" He saw the refusal in my optics and quickly changed course. "But they won't be as maneuverable as your current alt mode… Perhaps it's best if you find one when you're ready."

"Thank you."

He heard the double meaning in my words and nodded, holding my gaze longer than he needed to, then turned to Devcon. "How about you? How long has it been since you had a systems check?"

"Oh… I don't know, a vorn, maybe two."

"A vorn? Augh, you drive me insane… Bravura, switch places with him please, I want to see how many viruses our friend has running around in there…."

I got up and traded with the reluctant Devcon. What was a vorn? The Autobots on Earth had never used it… I switched on my comm. suite and had it translate the word.

**Eighty-three years.**

I gasped. I looked up quickly to find that Butcher and Devcon were both staring at me.

"Um… nothing," I said stupidly. Primus, Butcher made me feel like a moron…

Devcon looked away with a grunt, but Butcher watched me until I began to shift uncomfortably, then he looked back down at Devcon.

They had a unit of time that extended eighty-three years, which wasn't that odd considering humans had centuries and millennia, but it had been that long since Devcon had seen a medic? Devcon seemed healthy, spry… He didn't seem old at all. I'd never thought about how long a Cybertronian might live…

But then, I'd gotten little clues… Things Skywarp and Starscream had said about my race as if it was barely a blip on their radar, references to the war as if it had been going on forever… How old was Ironhide, the seemingly oldest of the Earth mechs? How old was Hot Rod?

Butcher's check took much longer on Devcon, and I suspected the medic really was cracking down on some problems the Autobot might've had. I leaned back in the chair, curling my legs under me and settling in for a long wait.

Devcon nudged me out of my daze. I wasn't quite recharging, but some of my systems had gone into a sort of cleaning mode. I sat up slowly, my joints protesting the uncomfortable angles they had been forced into in the chair.

"All better?" I asked the bounty hunter.

"Yeah, he had a field day. He's getting the fluids you need, then we can head out."

"Oh…" I couldn't help the disappointment that tinged that one little sound.

Devcon pulled me up by one hand and gave me a little push towards the exam table. "You like him that much?"

"What? No…" I climbed onto the table, staring down at my hands.

"Well… if you want to stay here, I'm sure they'd let you."

I jerked my head up and glared at Devcon. "If you don't want me around you can just say so!"

Devcon raised his hands as if to fend me off. "Calm down, I was just making sure you knew you had the option. If you want to stay with me I don't mind."

"Good," I grumbled.

"She's touchy," Devcon grumbled to himself.

Butcher came back with several canisters, once again stopping in the doorway at what he saw. We weren't fighting, but were we both sulking, arms crossed. I probably looked a lot more miffed than Devcon.

"Ah… yes, well, Bravura, I have some lubricant and coolant." He set down all but one of the containers, then turned to me. "Bend over a little and tuck your chin to your chest."

I did, starting with surprise when he touched the back of my neck, his fingers in the gap between my plating.

"Sorry," he said with more of that pity in his tone.

"What are you doing?" I asked him for the second time that trip.

He was quiet for a long time, and I suspected he was looking at Devcon. "I'm opening your lubricant reservoir. Haven't you ever had this done?"

I stiffened. How many times should someone my apparent age have had this done? "Not while I was conscious," I finally said.

"Oh… I see."

I felt something cool flowing into me at the shoulders and spreading slowly down through my arms and chest, as well as up my neck. I suddenly felt lithe and graceful, though I wasn't even moving. I twitched my fingers as the sensation reached them. It was incredible.

I felt Butcher's fingers between my plating again, then he asked me to lie down. I did, and he began to fiddle around low on my stomach, almost directly above my housing. He saw my alarmed expression and sighed.

"Unconscious for this, too?"

I nodded.

"I'm going to give you some coolant, since your vents seem to be having to work a little harder than they ought to be."

Devcon chuckled.

"Now," Butcher said reassuringly, "this will feel a little uncomfortable. You'll feel a cold sensation, but it won't last long."

And suddenly he was pouring the coolant into my abdomen. I grabbed the table reflexively, whimpering. It felt like someone was pushing an icy spike into my stomach.

Butcher held me down just below my spark chamber, murmuring pointless encouragements until he was satisfied, lifting the source of my pain away. Almost immediately it began to fade, but a much more pleasant sensation suffused me in its place, almost like stepping into a cool room.

I lay on the table, deliberately drawing air into my intakes as Butcher put the container back on the counter.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Good… really good."

"Wonderful. I'm sorry, some have a more negative response to the coolant than others."

"She's such a sparkling," Devcon said jokingly.

Even though he was kidding, I resented it. I'd been through so much crap in my life, things that I'd pulled through and gotten past, and he had the nerve to call me a baby?

I was pulled out of my angry thoughts when Butcher rested a hand on my shoulder. "You did just fine, especially if that was the first time you were conscious for it."

I stared at his hand, the warmth of it extremely distracting. Luckily I was suffused with fresh coolant, so my cooling system behaved. I looked up at him and he was smiling. He gave my shoulder a quick, friendly rub, then turned to Devcon.

"I think you're all taken care of, old friend. Do you have to rush off, or can you stick around until I get off of my shift?"

Devcon looked at me, sly as a fox. "I think we can wait for you. It's been a while, hasn't it?"

"Vorns," Butcher replied.

"We'll wait in the skimmer. Give me a call when you're off," Devcon said as he got up.

I hopped off the table, starting up my hologram without having to be told. Butcher had already seen it, so he wasn't surprised.

"It's such a shame," he said sadly. "Hiding from our own kind."

Devcon laid an arm over me, tugging me to him. "I'll keep her safe, even though I think she's intent on getting herself scrapped."

* * *

Butcher's apartment was spare and tasteful. Greens and blues dominated, colors that reminded me of Earth. There were no windows, but there was a large screen on one wall depicting different scenes, cityscapes dominating.

Butcher caught me watching it when he came back from the economical little 'kitchen' he kept in one corner of the smallish apartment.

"Do you know where those pictures were taken?" He asked me as he passed a cube of pinkish-purple energon to Devcon. I'd passed, since my systems were still faintly humming from the high grade I'd had on the skimmer.

I shook my head. "They look so… I don't know. Proud."

"They were the jewels of Cybertron before the war. None of the cities look like that now."

I looked to Devcon, and he nodded in agreement. "It's occupied by the Decepticons, though you hear about some rebel cells causing trouble now and again."

"Doesn't it make you sad?" I asked Butcher. "Seeing those pictures. Doesn't it just remind you of what you lost?"

"You lost it too, Bravura. You should have grown up in one of those cities."

I looked down, afraid he'd see my disagreement.

"So, what've you been up to?" Devcon asked Butcher as he sat down next to me on the long couch-like bench at the end of the apartment. The arm Devcon threw over the back of the couch and consequently over me made me smile; he was protective of me, even here.

"I've mostly been working here. It's not as busy as it used to be, but we still see some hopeless cases. At least we don't have to turns mechs away because we can't line them up in the halls anymore… like we did when the war was at its worst."

I stopped listening after some more of this, Devcon and Butcher casually filling themselves in on their lives for the past vorn. I couldn't help but watch the screen as the images of cities that might not even exist anymore slowly cycled through, then began repeating again.

"Bravura?" I heard Devcon say as he nudged me. "Were you listening?"

I shook my head. "Sorry," I said. "Those pictures…"

Butcher smiled understandingly from the armchair, which was placed in such a way to make our small area a sort of wall-less living room. "It's alright. They do it to me too sometimes. I was just asking if I could see what you used to patch Devcon?"

"Oh… of course." I lifted both hands and brought up the field kits in both arms.

Butcher got up and knelt in front of me, taking one arm in both hands, twisting it slightly as he looked at my equipment. "Where did you get this?" He asked, running his finger down my impulse generator. "It's not something I'd expect to see on someone who's not working in a hospital or in the army."

"I got it from a soldier," I said with a smile. From Skywarp, who took it from Starscream.

"She hasn't known many neutrals, from what I understand," Devcon said.

"Is that so?" Butcher said, looking up at me.

"Yes… you and Pinch are probably the first I've ever sat down and spoken to that I didn't have to run from later."

He surprised me by touching a button I didn't know existed in one of my arms, sending my repair equipment flipping back into hiding and freeing my hand. He took it tenderly and looked me in the optic. "I promise that you will never have to run from anyone who works at Tricora. Especially not me."

I stared at Butcher, the whole scene overwhelming. Handsome mech, holding my hand, making promises… I furiously tried to think of Skywarp, his rugged good looks and his broad shoulders and his power…

"O-ok," I stammered. He grinned and released my hands, and suddenly I knew _he_ knew the effect he had on me. He was _teasing_ me!

I scooted a little closer to the stolid Devcon, who slid his arm down from the back of the couch to my shoulders, giving me a squeeze.

Butcher was already back in his chair by the time I managed to control my embarrassment enough to look up. He was smiling innocently.

I wasn't sure if I liked Butcher anymore.

_What a jerk,_ I grumbled to Devcon silently.

_How so?_

_You didn't see that just now?_

_Oh. You're shy._

"Am not!" I burst out loud, sitting up a little straighter and glaring up at Devcon.

"I'm sorry?" Butcher asked curiously.

"Nothing," Devcon and I said quickly, at the same time.

Butcher laughed. "You two have been spending too much time alone in that skimmer."

"Tell me about it," I grumbled, even as I leaned back into my friend. Before long they'd picked up their old conversation, talking about people and places I'd never heard of. I pulled my legs up onto the couch and let my head rest against Devcon's chest, feeling a little like a kid again. I might as well, these mechs were probably thousands upon thousands of years old. Maybe even older than that…

* * *

I woke up a little later when Devcon shifted a bit. I'd slid down so that my head was in his lap. One of his hands rested on my shoulder. I feigned sleep, keeping my optics offline.

"I just don't understand how she couldn't have had a refill on anything before," I heard Butcher say incredulously. "I don't care how fast she says she grew, it's just not plausible."

"Look, I don't know. I don't even know who her real creators are. She lied to me when I asked… Well, she told the truth about one of them."

"Why would she lie?"

"I can't figure that part out, because aside from a few details, she trusts me like she's known me her whole life, just because I'm an Autobot. She thinks we're going to go chasing after some Seeker she's convinced she's friends with."

Butcher laughed softly. "Does she realize you'd shoot him down before you let her get close enough to talk to him?"

"Apparently not. She's just so innocent, or ignorant… I haven't decided yet."

"Hmm. Even if she is a liar, I have to say I'm jealous."

"She's not your type, Butch."

"Why not? She seems sweet."

"You saw her trying to rip my helm off. She's nuts when she's not completely lost in her own world."

"If she was wandering alone long enough to be about to shut down from lack of energon, she deserves a chance to readjust. Those Autobots she knew before probably spoiled her, too."

"If they did, why did she run away?"

Butcher was quiet, and I tried to keep myself from frowning. I hadn't realized Devcon was thinking about me so much. He was suspicious of me, and he thought I was a little crazy…

"Look at her, Devcon. She acts like a youngling who lost her caretaker. Are you going to adopt her, or…"

"I'm not going to do anything with her. She's helpless. I don't trust her with anybody else. Besides, I think she likes following me around."

"There's what she likes, and then there's what she needs. If she stays with you she's going to end up joining the Autobots just to follow your example."

"They'd never let her. She's too valuable to risk on the field."

I expected Butcher to correct Devcon about just how valuable I really was, but he didn't.

"And chasing you around while you hunt the most dangerous Decepticons in the sector isn't a risk?"

"What are you getting at, Butcher?" Devcon sounded irritated.

Butcher paused, considering his words or Devcon carefully. "Leave her here. I'll teach her my trade. We'll let her learn on the ones in stasis. She did a great job on your line, Devcon! She's a natural medic, and she'll be so much safer here."

I felt Devcon's cooling system whirring harder as his anger built. "You think I'll leave her with a bunch of _doctors_ with no defenses? How could _you_ protect her? I know what this is about, Butcher, and I don't like it."

"It's not like that at all," Butcher said angrily. "You just don't know what's best-"

"What is it you _really_ want from her?" Devcon snapped. I decided that was my cue.

I let my systems buzz noisily as I stretched, onlining my optics. Devcon squeezed my shoulder apologetically.

"Sorry, I got carried away," he said calmly, like he'd never gotten angry.

"Over what?" I mumbled as I sat up.

"Politics," Butcher said cheerfully.

I looked at the white and red mech across the room, wondering what was really going on in his processor. Did he mean well, or…

I scooted close to Devcon as I sat up, but Devcon rose to his feet, gently pulling me with him.

"I think it's time we head out," Devcon said. "I've got a lead," he added, as if that made our sudden departure make sense.

"Oh," Butcher said. He was looking at me sadly. The genuine emotion there made me want to believe he really did just want to help me. But if Devcon didn't trust him… I didn't, either.

Butcher followed us out to the wide silver courtyard, lined with four or five other apartments. Devcon nodded to Butcher, said a quick "See ya around," then went into the skimmer.

Butcher moved close to me and touched my arm. It took quite a bit of self-control not to slide away from him.

_You don't have to live like this,_ he said, his silent voice as sad as his expression.

_Like what?_

_Homeless, directionless. You could have a purpose, saving the bots who come here for help._

_You mean I could stay here. _

_Yes, I do. _Butcher's grip tightened a little. _You could… you could stay with me._

I jerked away from Butcher, trying my best to stay calm. "No, thank you."

"You don't- I didn't mean it like that! I just meant-"

"You coming, Bravura?" Devcon asked from the hatch door. He was staring at me, almost like he was seeing through me.

I looked at Butcher, desperately wanting to match his perfect face with a perfect mech underneath. I reached out and touched his arm briefly.

_If I ever decide I'm not where I need to be, I'll come here._

Butcher didn't look relieved at all. I stepped away, then trotted the short distance to the skimmer and slid past Devcon's imposing figure.

I'd better find Skywarp soon, or I was going to get myself into more trouble than even the Seeker could get me out of.

* * *

R & R lovelies :)


	5. Chapter 5

This took a lot longer than usual, but I've been busy in a very good way : ) Thanks for all of the incredible reviews, everyone!!! Serrsly, you all are the sweetest bunch of folks around, especially gammon-is-a-fish for badgering me to update XD And since you are all so nice to me, I'll be nice to you… I've had many requests for a certain someone to show his big ole Seeker face… Don't get too excited though : (

The gold star of reviewing goes to Cybernetic Mango for demanding robot orgies. I _did_ rate it M after all… What's that M stand for again…? ;)

* * *

Flying alongside Devcon's skimmer gave me a good chance to mentally turn things over. I had to rethink my situation. Overhearing Devcon and Butcher had brought forth a new dilemma; Devcon didn't want to help me. Scratch that, he wanted to help me by keeping me safe. He didn't want to help me find Skywarp.

I hummed all over, trying to decide what I should do. On one hand, Devcon wasn't go to hurt me or betray me, I was certain of that. I could stay with him and cross my fingers, hoping I'd run across Skywarp and work things out before Devcon tried to shoot him. On the other hand, I could set out alone, searching for the Seeker that Kickswitch had mentioned. It might be more dangerous, and if I got hurt I'd more or less be toast, but… I might never find Skywarp by following Devcon.

It was too hard to make that choice! I was beginning to hate this part of the galaxy, with its ugly aliens and its horndogging mechs. If only I had a female friend to turn to, even an alien one… I wasn't as breakable as Devcon thought I was, and I knew I wasn't beautiful like Butcher, at least not in the Cybertronian sense of the word. I wasn't ugly either, but… Well, I'd never seen a femme, so I had no idea what beautiful _was._ The only reason I was a target was because all the pretty femmes were either dead or hiding.

With quiet fury I punched my thrusters and took off ahead of Devcon. I didn't care if anyone thought I was pretty, because I had Skywarp.

_Not really,_ my logic processors interjected. _You have no proof that he loves you._

But I did! He'd saved me. He'd endured a month of imprisonment for me. He'd battled and beaten his brother for me. He'd lived with me and shared so much with me!

_He never _said_ he loved you._

My angry thoughts were silenced. It'd been a long time since I'd been so off track that my LP had felt the need to set me straight. It'd given up or burned out when I went crazy during that first half year of empty space.

_Devcon,_ I called back through our comm., _Can I scout ahead? _

_How far ahead?_

_Not too far._

_Stay in the air. No landings unless I'm there._

_Yes, papa bot._

_Don't call me that._

_Aye aye, captain._

I was itching to do something. Anything. I wished I could just turn around and spend some time with Mirage, playing ping-pong or racing in the halls… I even missed sitting with Hot Rod to watch sappy had never really enjoyed movies, but he'd sit through them with me…

He did love me. He couldn't have spent all that time trying to make me happy and sharing himself with me if he didn't.

I maxed out my speed and quickly lost the skimmer, heading for our target destination: a small Venus-sized planet where a pair of Decepticons was reported to be hiding out.

I didn't feel good about looking for them. They were lying low, not even bothering anyone. The only reason anybody knew about them was because a less capable hunter than Devcon had run across them and attacked them. Reportedly, he'd barely managed to come back alive. Those Cons wanted to be left alone, and I could sympathize with that.

It did occur to me that if a seasoned fighter hadn't been able to handle them I didn't have a chance, but for some reason I was envisioning myself being the one to put them down. Devcon's belief that I was helpless had really grated on me.

_Getting yourself killed won't prove much,_ my LP offered.

So, it looked like my LP wasn't going back to sleep any time soon.

It took what added up to four Earth days to reach the planet, judging by Hot Rod's recharge cycle. He'd been fighting a lot lately, making me believe that things were getting rough on Earth. As a result, he rested a lot when he could. I gave him my support all of his waking moments. I could tell he appreciated it, but between us both there was a tension; he wished I was there, and while I missed him as much or more… I couldn't go back.

Something else was happening, something I didn't know how to feel about; he was growing fond of someone. Not romantically involved, as far as I could tell, but he was becoming attached.

It's not that his developing a deeper relationship with anyone bothered me; it was that I didn't know _whom_ he cared about so much. Hot Rod knew this, and he was apologetic when he felt my frustration, but there was no way for him to tell me. He wanted to, and that helped.

Once again, I felt a pang of misery. I missed him so_ much_.

I slipped down into the gravity well of the planet, easily maneuvered from all of my practice with gas giants. I'd hoped to avoid a flashy entrance, but I came in too fast and probably ended up looking like a fantastic meteor. Hopefully nobody was looking.

The planet was mostly uninhabited according to Devcon, confirmed by my silent comms. Once I was in the atmosphere I was pummeled by furious winds tinged with an increasingly unpleasant spray of sand and nearly corrosive gases the deeper I dove. The sky was an ugly yellow brown. Those Cons must be desperate to try and live here in this horrid place.

I triple checked that my signature was utterly silent and then began the long agonizing work of searching the planet. I couldn't do much more than listen for signatures, since Devcon had refused to teach me anything about real tracking.

Finding the shelter about a joor later was an accident. I'd landed on the peak of a mountain so frigid my body creaked in the cold, trying to think out where they'd want to hide. The planet had a lopsided rotation, leaving the northern pole in darkness almost all year round. Would they hide there?

_No, they need solar power the same way you do._

Nix the pole, then. The southern hemisphere, the one I'd just left, seemed to be enjoying a vast windstorm which could provide cover, but also cut back on solar power.

So the northern hemisphere was the better bet. I sat down on the porous rock of the mountain, wondering if this was an extinct volcano. I looked out at the rest of the range, hoping to see a pattern, but instead a glint of metal caught my optic. I immediately tensed and focused in on the glint, telescoping as much as I could.

I could make out a right angle in the side of a mountain, one of the few sharp points on the weather-beaten range. There didn't seem to be any activity, so I leapt into the sky and transformed, heading straight for it. Maybe this was a shelter they'd abandoned after the other hunter found them.

I landed carefully on the mountainside, near the shelter. The shelter was bigger than I'd expected, tall enough to accommodate someone Skywarp's size and more. There was no door, but I could see a dark hollow carved deep into the mountain. I stepped into the shelter, the cessation of constant wind a relief on my stinging wings.

Swirl marks and one giant footprint told me that some kind of robot had lived here. I was starting to feel a little nervous even though I couldn't pick up any signatures or vibrations beyond the constant thrum of wind, so I extended my knives and started to step more cautiously.

Deeper into the cavern I found four empty energon cubes. I nudged one with the tip of one support, watching dust swirl off of it. The cave definitely wasn't lived in, or at least not cared for.

Well, at least I'd have something for Devcon when he arrived. Maybe it would help. I was about to turn and leave the way I'd come when the light from the entrance disappeared.

I whipped around, knives low. A hulking form had blocked the entrance, and its optics were red. I didn't move, waiting to see what he'd do. As I watched a much smaller shape detached itself slowly from the bigger form, slithering down to the ground. It was hard to judge against the giant behind it, but it seemed a lot smaller than me.

Suddenly a white flashed blinded me and I stumbled back a couple of steps, covering my optics with one arm. There was a _shuffleshuffleshuffle_ and a heavy clang as something connected with my upper body. I was immediately on my back, wings screeching against the stone beneath the layer of dust on the ground. Something heavy rested on my chest and limbs. Blistering heat from some kind of tool burned centimeters from my face. It was nearly impossible to see for several long, agonizing seconds.

The orange laser knife came into focus first, followed by narrow red optics. The Con was whip thin and built like a praying mantis. I'd never seen a Cybertronian with more than four limbs. His two lower legs pinned my arms and legs, while one free hand held the knife. The other snatched my chin and twisted my face from one side to the other.

"Femme," It barked over its shoulder to the hulk behind it.

My holograms weren't on. I doubted it would've made a difference, since he'd pinned me immediately… Still, if I got out of this I'd never hear the end of it from Devcon.

"Whyza femme on dis dirtball?" A rippling deep voice asked.

"Whyza femme on dis dirtball!" The smaller one repeated after it whipped its gaze back to me, jabbing the laser knife at my optic. "Tell me 'fore I stick ya!"

I thought fast. "Same reason you are! Hiding!"

He jabbered to himself, and I was reminded of Frenzy. Finally he withdrew his knife, but he didn't get off of me.

"Runnin'," the small bot said over its shoulder again. There were a few slow thuds, and then the face of the giant appeared over the shoulder of the small one.

"What we do wit' it?" He asked slowly. They shared them same accent, but that was where their similarities ended. They were a study in opposites, these two.

"Can't I just stay with you?" I asked, trying to make myself sound as innocent as possible. I already looked helpless, so maybe I could pull this off.

The little one laughed, harsh and staccato, followed moments later by the thunderous laughter of the hulk.

"Stay wit' us!" The big one boomed. "We 'Cepticons, dummy. We s'posed ta kill little femmes like youse."

The little one tilted his head one way, then the other. He reminded me a bit of a pterodactyl in the face.

"We not doin' dat work no more," he said thoughtfully. "Don't need to kill nobody, Boomer."

"But orders is orders, Coil."

"Orders is nothin' no more. We be AWOL."

"I ran away too," I offered.

"Put a cap in dat scraphole, femme," the little one said. He was still holding my chin.

I was furiously trying to figure out a way out of this. I could go for surprise, just kick the thing off of me and start shooting. If I got an opening I could jet out of here too fast for them to stop me… But the big one blocked the entrance. I'd have to be sneaky about this.

"Femmes be trouble," Boomer said to himself mournfully. He didn't seem like an overtly aggressive creature, just kind of slow and easily misdirected.

"My name's Bravura," I offered. "Not femme."

"Femme's easier," Coil said with a shrug, his face getting close to mine. "Why run here?"

"I heard there were two mechs here who were so strong that they defeated a powerful bounty hunter. I wanted to ask to stay here. It's not a good time for femmes," I said sadly.

"Hey, hey! Hear dat Boomer? We famous for beatin dat freenin' glitch!"

Boomer chuckled. "I got dat one good, eh?"

"Listen to dis rust bucket! He tinks he did all da work!"

"Yes," I cut in. "You both got him so good that I thought you'd be the perfect mechs to protect me."

Boomer and Coil both snickered. "We not so good at da protectin' business. Better at blastin' and bustin'." Coil crawled off of me as Boomer spoke, standing over me with his arms crossed.

"Put dem knives up, t'ain't no good anyways."

I let my knives retract into my forearms, flexing my fingers as they replaced them. Coil seemed satisfied, then rushed to Boomer and climbed up one of his tree trunk legs, settling on the right side of the big mech's massive chest. I pushed myself into a sitting position to wait while they talked.

They seemed distracted, so I shifted to one side and slipped my hand into the hip compartment that was blocked from their view, activating one of the tracking beacons. It was blessedly silent, though I felt it give a tiny buzz as it powered. Devcon would be here as soon as he could. Until then, I had to keep these nimrods thinking.

They were both looking from me to each other and back again. Boomer looked unhappy and Coil looked argumentative. After a long and awkward wait, Coil slithered back down from Boomer and came back to me.

"Ok. We not gon' kill ya. You's kinda pretty, nice face. So ya stay, but dey's rules."

"What rules?" I asked as if I really cared.

"First, no leavin' da cave. Two, keep dem knives up. Lastly, we get what we wants, whenever we be wantin' it."

"Oh." Always, always, _always_ it came down to sex. I fought the urge to try and rip off the ugly little Con's dinosaur face.

"Don't want no stinkin' femme here, Coil…" Boomer said mournfully. "Make it go home."

"T'ain't got no home, Boomer, else why'd it be here?"

"Dis be our home, Coil. Can't be takin' every freenin' stray dat be beggin' at da door."

"Cap it, I say da femme be stayin'."

"What were you two doing?" I asked quietly. "Before I got here."

"Sittin' in da sun."

"If I'm not allowed out of the cave, how will I collect solar power?"

Coil and Boomer exchanged looks. Boomer shrugged and slowly turned around, facing the other way.

"We figure dat out later," Coil said in what he probably believed was a reassuring tone.

I decided not to press the issue. Instead, I changed the subject. "Why did you leave the Decepticons, Coil?"

"Oh, dat's easy. See Boomer ovah der? He's tough, strong as dem freighters you be seein' carryin' de heavy loads. Brother bonded, we be. Well, dem 'Cepticons like to be usin' Boomer as da enemy's target when he not shieldin' dey sorry afts. Dey be sendin' him first into fights, so he be the one who takes de shots. Well, we be tired of it. So we quit."

I started to say something, but Boomer made a coughing sound that cut me off.

"Coil," Boomer said in his sad, slow way. "Somebody big comin'. T'ink it be a tetrajet."

I sat up straighter. Tetrajet was as good as Seeker. Maybe he'd know where Skywarp was.

Coil shot away from me, melting fluidly around his bulky friend. "You be quiet!" He called back to me.

I waited until I heard the roar of an engine, followed by the heavy thud of a high-speed landing. He wasn't being quiet with his steps, but his signature was snuffed.

"We ain't goin' back!" I heard Coil squeal. "We quit!"

"I don't care what the slag you're doing on this dust heap." He wasn't in the shelter, so the wind stole his voice, but something… I crawled as close to Boomer as I dared, peeking around his legs. The sun was behind the Seeker, so all I could make out was a top-heavy shape.

"Why ya be comin' here den?"

"I'm following a flyer. Tetrajet alt mode."

I started and ducked behind one of Boomer's legs. He'd been following _me?_

"I saw it enter the atmosphere, but I lost it in that slagging storm."

"Don't know what you be talkin' 'bout."

"Yeah," Boomer added, his voice even deeper than before.

"Mind if I have a look into your… shelter?"

I actually gripped Boomer's leg then. Sure, they were Cons too, but they didn't want to kill me. What if this bot was still acting on the old extermination orders?

"Dis be our house, we ain't wantin' no visitors."

I heard the clanking and shifting of weapons being called up. "You're hiding something."

"We don't be wantin' trouble!"

"Then move out of my way."

I raised myself from my knees to a crouch. If Boomer moved or was shot down, I'd book it out of there.

Coil was silent. Probably weighing out if I was worth a fight with a Seeker or not.

"Fine! We ain't be wantin' it anyways!" Coil snapped. Boomer heaved his great weight over, angling himself sideways. Before I was even sure I'd fit through I was in my alt mode and jetting out of there. A clawed hand raked my top wing, but it only unbalanced me for a moment. I had no idea what to do…

I couldn't hear anything over the wind, but I had a visual on him as he transformed and followed me. Instantly it was clear that he was much faster than me.

The mountain range might give me a chance to hide, so I shot down between the giant folds of rock. I thought I was going pretty fast when an alarm warned me of an imminent collision. The Seeker was right on my tail and still gaining. Suddenly he transformed midair, those long arms reaching for me again. I swung just out of reach and transformed myself, dropping and transforming to go back the way I came.

He was already on top of me before I'd even finished transforming. He grabbed my left wing, claws denting my plating. I went into a wild twist, flinging him over the top of me, but it didn't break his grip. Instead, it flung him into a mountainside. He took me down with him, and suddenly we were slipping down the huge rock face in a shower of loose rock and tangled metal.

We bounced off a narrow ledge and he lost his grip. I was too stunned to transform or gun my thrusters, so I landed within seconds of him at the very bottom of the mountain.

I hurt all over. My tightly fitting alt mode had never been under that much stress, and it felt liked I'd tried to run in a shoe three sizes too small.

I transformed, not even bothering to hide my shape. He was after me for a reason, and he'd catch me either way. My balance was unsteady as I got up, but he seemed to barely feel the thousands of feet we'd just fallen. He was staring at me.

"Why were you following me?" I screamed over the wind

He flexed his fingers. "I heard that a flyer was pretending to be the Aerial Commander. I was concerned." I could barely hear him.

"Do I look like Starscream to you?" I asked.

"Not a bit."

"Then I'll be going," I yelled.

"No, I don't think so."

I called up my plasma gun, knowing it was useless against the Seeker. "You're not touching me, Seeker!"

He didn't say anything more, simply lunged at me. I turned and tried to jump away. I was barely halfway through my transformation when he grabbed me and flung me back into the ground.

Groaning, I rolled onto my back, going back to robot mode. Everything hurt. The Seeker was reaching down for me, so as soon as I could I powered my gun again and shot at him. It went wide, flying high over his shoulder. He didn't even flinch.

The shot that came from the sky was much closer. The Seeker jerked away from me just as a yellow stasis round whizzed where his head would have been, quivering in the dirt feet from me. I took the opportunity to slide to my feet and jump away, finishing my transformation this time. The Seeker swiped at me and missed.

I was halfway to Devcon's skimmer, which was hovering high overhead, when the Seeker slammed himself into my side, sending me into a disorienting spin. I saw more yellow stasis rounds flying to the ground, but as I reoriented myself I saw that the Seeker was circling to the other side of the skimmer.

I burned my thrusters hard and shot up to it, coming up below the skimmer and striking the Seeker from underneath as he tried to land on the ship in his robot mode. He lost his grip on the skimmer, almost took me with him, then dropped a few hundred feet before transforming back to his alt mode.

At first I thought he'd come back again, but as I prepared to protect the skimmer he suddenly disappeared with a dull boom.

My thrusters cut out with the shock of it. He… warped? My hopes shot to the surface and sank again just as quickly. It might be him, but it might not... Maybe another Seeker could warp as well…

I stopped my fall and climbed back to the skimmer. Devcon was waiting for me, and he took my hand in order to haul me into the ship after I changed to my alt mode. I fell against him, my whole body shivering.

"Are you alright?" he asked, running his hands down my wings in a way I'm sure he didn't mean to be sensual. I shivered at the touch, so he lifted me up to carry me the few feet to the berth. He set me on it and started checking me over.

"If you're not shutting down on me, I've got to get to the console and get us out of here. He might come back."

I nodded, trying to find my voice to ask the question that was consuming me.

After we broke atmosphere he spoke again. "What happened?"

It was much easier to talk about that. "Ambushed by a couple of Cons named Coil and Boomer. Did you get 'em?"

"Yes."

"Ok. Well, they'd pinned me in their cave when that Seeker showed up. He followed me here. I guess rumor has it I'm pretending to be Starscream, and he didn't like that. They didn't want to fight him, so they let him at me. I ran, but he was too fast."

"Too bad he got away."

"Um… Devcon?"

"Yeah?"

"How many Seekers can teleport?"

He was quiet, thinking. I was about to ask him again when he answered me. "Just one."

My spark dropped in my chest like a stone. I hunched over, clutching my chest with both arms.

Devcon was suddenly hovering over me, forcing me to sit up and looking for the damage. He looked up at me, confused. "Where does it hurt?"

"Just tired," I all but sobbed.

In another rush of motion I couldn't catch in my shattered state, Devcon was sitting on the berth and I was in his lap, his arms holding me tightly.

"Shh, hush now. You're safe."

He thought I was traumatized. He was right, but for the wrong reason.

I shuddered and huddled as tightly against him as I could. I hadn't even recognized the mech I loved. He'd changed his alt mode. Something itched at the back of my mind, a half-forgotten human memory.

It'd been dark then, too dark to make out any details. But… I was almost sure he'd been wearing the same alt mode that first night in the woods. The day he'd changed my life.

Devcon was whispering to me and stroking my shoulders at first, but then his hand swept down my wing again. The sensation was too much and a groan escaped me, evolving into a full-blown sob.

"Something's wrong with you," he said for his own benefit. "We're going back to Butcher."

"No!" I choked. "I'm fine, I-I'm just upset. I was scared."

"I know that, but… you can't break down like this. You made it out in one piece, you're ok. You've got to calm down."

I wish I could tell him why I was crying, but he'd certainly find fault with my love interests. He'd wanted to knock my Seeker from the sky. He'd shot at him. _I_ had tried to shoot him. I'd tried to shoot the mech I loved.

I slowed my intakes, swallowing my sobs until all that was left of my outward distress was a faint all-over shiver that I couldn't stop. He held me like that until I reluctantly fell into recharge.

* * *

It surprised me when I woke up in the exactly the same position, Devcon's arms still looped loosely around me. His head had fallen forward in his own recharge. He looked very peaceful. I tried not to move much, not wanting to interrupt his recharge. He didn't seem to rest very much.

A few signature silencing drills later, Devcon woke up. His optics flickered to full brightness and he lifted his head slowly, at first tightening his grip on me and then slowly relaxing.

"You're up," he said as if it surprised him.

"Didn't want to bother you," I said calmly, dragging myself out of my meditation. I slid out of his lap and sat next to him.

"Feel better?"

"I do."

In truth, I felt awful. It was one thing to search aimlessly, but to find Skywarp and lose him in minutes… I had only one goal, and I'd messed it up. I might never find him again. The only reason I'd even seen him was because he sought _me_ out, not the other way around. He was called a Seeker for a good reason.

Devcon rubbed my knee encouragingly and got up, going to sit in his chair at the console. I stretched out on my stomach on the berth. My wings hurt so much that to put any pressure on them was out of the question. Skywarp had manhandled them like a pro wrestler, plus all of the sand and crashes… I probably looked awful. Maybe I _should _go back to Tricora…

Devcon was apparently thinking hard, too.

"Bravura, we need to talk."

I stood up, resisting a groan as my whole body flashed yellow and even orange warning lights back at me. No red, thank Primus. I crossed to the front of the skimmer and sat on a small metal crate he'd stowed there.

"Ok, Devcon."

He looked down at me, expressionless. "I don't think you're cut out for this."

I physically felt my emotional resolve weaken in the face of his doubt. I straightened up, squared my shoulders, clenched my fists and smoothed emotion from my face to match his.

"What happened back there was a fluke."

"You know that isn't true. You disobeyed me again. You didn't say so, but I know you landed. No way those idiots could've captured you if you didn't make it easy for them."

"It was an accident-"

"One accident is enough to finish you, Bravura. One. Now, I know you're not going to like this, but I think you should go back to Tricora and stay there until I find someone willing to take you back to Earth."

"But you said…" I trailed off, not wanting him to know I'd eavesdropped. "They're doctors, Devcon. I'd probably be the most dangerous thing there."

"You'd be surprised."

"No, I don't think I would! Look, what happened was a mistake, but it's not because I'm weak!"

"That's the problem, when you're out there you don't _think_, kid."

I changed my tack. I grabbed his hand from the console, cradling it in both of mine. "Please, _please_ don't send me back. I've gone too far to fail now."

"Who was your mother, Bravura?"

I let him go, stunned. He was choosing _now_ to make that an issue? What to say? He knew I was lying, so there was no point in trying to push Frequency any longer… My processor whirled. Tell him the real truth? Lie again? Which would have the worst response? Cybertronian ex-human with a useless spark, or a liar?

He looked at me and sighed. "Fine, don't tell me. Unless she ended up being a Con, I don't understand why you'd hide it. Even if she did… that's not your fault. Frenzy was a good mech. What happened to him wasn't right, and he fought it with everything in his spark."

I nodded, realizing he was intentionally letting me slip by.

"Can you tell me about Frenzy? Before?" I glued my optics to Devcon's face, crossing my arms over my lap and leaning forward as much to listen to Devcon as to keep my wings from touching anything,

"I don't know much, kid. I spent a couple cycles drinking with his unit once… Remember that big one we just caught? Imagine a mech his size, but smart and fast. Frenzy was sharper than an atom-tipped laser scalpel, and he walked like a force of nature. Like one of those planet sized asteroids, graceful and beautiful to watch but dangerous if you got in his way."

I listened, rapt. The Frenzy I knew was only a few feet tall, painfully skinny… Smart, yes, but his personality was so fractured that it was hard to say what he was really like.

"He tried to help me once," I said softly.

Devcon frowned faintly. "He was on Earth?"

"Yes. He held me captive once with his brother bond, but Hot Rod and Bumblebee saved me… Later, when Starscream was trying to catch me he and Barricade, fought him until help came."

Devcon seemed truly surprised. "How many Decepticons were on Earth?"

"All of the Constructicons, all of Starscream's trine, Barricade and Frenzy. At least one other mech named Thrust."

"So that's at least four, possibly as many as six Seekers, if Thrust and his trine were there as well. And which Seeker are you chasing now?"

Thrust was a Seeker too? That helped. I looked at him stubbornly, knowing that if I told him even one thing I'd eventually give enough away and he'd know everything. He'd figure out why I'd really had my meltdown.

He sighed and rubbed his face. "I didn't realize there were so many Cons there."

"It could be worse, now. Hot Rod's been having to fight a lot."

He looked away from me and back to the view screen. "So what you're trying to say is that Earth isn't any safer than staying with me."

"Well, that wasn't my goal, but I guess that's true." I grinned. "At least we go orns without seeing any action at all."

He sighed, tilting his head back and staring at the ceiling. In one smooth motion he slid out of his chair and knelt in front of me, catching me in a rough hug.

"I don't want you to die, kid. You're not perfect, but nobody else is either. I can protect you from a lot of things, but I can't save your from yourself. Please," He straightened and took me by the shoulders, shaking me softly. "_Please._ Don't ignore my advice again."

I stared at the bounty hunter, shocked at the emotion in his voice. I leaned forward and hugged him tightly, gratitude and remorse overcoming me. This mech was doing everything he could for me. He deserved something in return, even if it was just keeping myself out of trouble.

"Ok, Devcon," I sighed against his helm. "I'll listen to you."

He hugged me back, then eased away and reached to my cheek. He rubbed his thumb over the dull scuffmark I'd gotten from that first Decepticon, then got up and went to his chair.

"You should recharge some more, I doubt you got any rest on the trip here."

I nodded, getting up and crossing back to the berth. Recharging on the fly was out of the question; the very thought of transforming and forcing my dinged and damaged wings to unfold sent shivers of pain up my back. Instead, I sprawled on my stomach on the berth and offlined my optics with a buzzing groan.

* * *

"Please? I want to try, just this once. Maybe if you'd let me shoot one every once in a while I'd stay out of trouble!" I hissed to Devcon as he assembled his stasis gun. We were on yet another featureless and rocky asteroid, hunting yet another group of cut-rate Cons. Devcon was still passing up on the big guns in order to give me experience with the less dangerous mechs.

Except he wasn't letting me _do_ anything!

I'd taken to staying with him, no matter how boring it got. I'd follow him when he began to stalk the mechs, and I'd watch him assemble his oversized stasis gun and shoot down them down. This didn't give me much of anything to do but try and learn from example.

We'd taken down three Cons since the incident with Skywarp, over a span of five or six orns. Space had taught me patience, so I chafed only a little at the intangible bit Devcon's schedule had become.

"If you miss we'll have three Cons instead of two to deal with."

"I won't miss."

Devcon finished with the gun and sized me up. "You can try once. If you miss, that's it."

"And if I hit one?"

"Then you can take them all out."

I let out a tiny peep of excitement and took the heavy stasis gun, propping it against the outcropping of rocks we'd ducked behind. The Cons were less than an eighth of mile away and completely unaware of us. We had the cat in the bag on this one.

I let my targeting system take over as I steadied the weapon, picking out my first victim, the smallest one. He looked fast, and once he got moving he'd be tougher to take down. The others were bigger, and probably slower.

My targeting system was dead center on the mech when I pulled the trigger. The yellow stasis round burst from the gun almost silently and crossed the distance before the Cons knew what hit them. The little one was knocked over and stayed down, but I was already targeting the next biggest one. He leapt to his feet, guns aiming up at our covered hiding place, but he went down on his back when my stasis round plugged him right in the chest.

The big one was a little surprising. He unloaded a barrage of weapons on us to the extent that I looked up from the target to gawk. Missiles, mean looking ones…

Devcon threw himself over me and pressed me against the rock outcropping, the stasis gun digging against my unyielding stomach. The missiles mostly pounded into the opposite side of the outcropping, but a few landed behind us. Metal and rock and fire plumed all around us, but all I could do was pray that Devcon was ok.

He was. He pulled the stasis gun from between the rock and me and got to his knees, letting off two rounds in quick succession before the dust had even settled. The heavy sound of a mech dropping told me he'd hit his target.

I pushed myself up, looking Devcon over. Some flash burns, a few nicks in the armor of his back and shoulders, but no leaks. He looked over at me with an odd, tiny smile.

"Two out of three. Not bad. Good job going for the quick one first, but next time get the firepower before he figures out where we are."

I grinned and stood up, offering Devcon my hand. He grabbed me and yanked me down, twisting me into the dirt beside him and leaping to his feet on his own. Not to be outdone, I lunged for his legs and threw his balance out, knocking him to his knees. I jumped onto his back and wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist piggyback style.

Devcon rose to his feet as if my weight meant nothing to him, hooking his arms behind my legs to hold me up. This had become a bit of a ritual after a successful hunt; we'd trip each other, wrestle, or just knock each other around until he ultimately let me believe I'd won.

I knew I was too old for those kinds of games, but it was the only fun I ever got to have, and it reminded me of Mirage. Devcon didn't seem to mind at jounced me a bit until I laughed, then flipped me over his back and landed me on my supports. The power in the mech still took me by surprise every time.

For stealth's sake, and because I was impatient, he'd essentially ridden me the ten miles from the skimmer to the Cons' camping site.

"Ready to head back already?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips and pouting.

"I am. These guys might not be worth much, but we've caught plenty. I think we deserve a little high grade for our troubles, don't you?"

I smiled and shrugged. "I'm a little crazy when I'm over-energized. You sure it'd be safe?"

"We'll stick to the skimmer, unless you think I'd ruin your fun."

"Nope. I think there's a rowdy mech hiding underneath that old fogy act of yours."

I transformed and waited for Devcon. My alt mode hadn't felt the same since Skywarp's beating. It was beginning to ache a bit if I stayed in it for too long. I was tempted to change it out for my Earth jet… But I wanted Skywarp to know I'd used it. It meant a lot to me. Plus, the tetrajet seemed to come with a little insurance; nobody wanted to mess with a possible Seeker.

Maybe Skywarp had given me the tetrajet for that very reason. It hurt me to think about it, but he might have been planning to leave me alone on Earth from that very first night. He wasn't going to be there to protect me, so he'd given me an alt mode that acted like a sort of badge. It had one message: Don't mess with this bot.

The seriousness of that threat was finally apparent. Watching Skywarp and his brother fight in the streets of South Lake Tahoe had been frightening, but actually being the target of one… I could see why _everyone_ was afraid of them.

Devcon climbed onto my back and I began the short trip back to the skimmer.

* * *

The next chapter is read-at-your-own-risk :)


	6. Chapter 6

Alert: I've decided that M is for mileage : ) This chap is short and it's almost entirely robots doing the naughty. If you are underage and you still choose to read this… Well, it's not exactly depicting typical sex (they're robots) but it's a sexy fetish thing and it'll mess you up! Go eat some cheerios instead. Everyone else, let me know what you think ; )

* * *

I crawled on all fours across the floor of the skimmer, carefully positioning the empty energon cube. I took the credits I'd artfully and drunkenly stolen from Devcon. It helped that he'd told me where he kept them when I told him why I was trying to find his storage compartments.

They were gathered into a messy pile a small distance from the empty cube, and Devcon was watching me over his latest cube of high grade. We'd hit the bar long enough to walk away with as many cubes as we could carry, Devcon's good mood encouraging both of us to go all out. I'd had two, and he'd taken care of three.

"Just like that," I said seriously, giving it one tiny last adjustment. "Just like that," I said again, louder.

"And why are we doing this?"

"It's called tiddlywinks, my brawny blue buddy. You take one credit, stick it like this," I placed the chip flat on the floor," then you take another credit and you push down on one end and you try and flip it in the cup. Er, cube."

"Why?"

"Because it's fun and because I'm better than you."

"How do you know you're better than me? You're not better than me at anything."

"I fly better than you. And I can tiddly these winks better than you." I tried flipping the credit into the cube, but it fell short and rolled sideways until it hit the wall.

"Oh, you're good. Reigning champ of the Tiddly Kingdom."

I straightened up and glared at Devcon. "Fine, don't tiddly with me."

"You know, Butcher wanted to _tiddly_ with you."

I got up and weaved unsteadily to Devcon. "I don't want to tiddly with Butcher, Devcon. He's too pretty."

"Oh? And who would you rather?"

"Hmm… Well, really? You'd hate him. He's big, he's a troublemaker and he has a bad family… But he's sweet, and strong and I love him."

"Oho, Bravura in love?"

Without knowing how I got there, I discovered that I'd crawled onto Devcon's lap, straddling his waist. Devcon was grinning with amusement, the energon lightening him up a little. A little piece of me knew I was over-energized, and that I was about to do something very stupid, but-

I kissed Devcon right after he tossed back another gulp of energon. He tasted like electricity.

"Whoa! Whoa, settle down!" He pushed me back a few inches. "Weren't you just talking about the mech you're so in love with?"

"Yeah, but you know, when you don't know if he loves you back it kind of sucks. Sometimes you just want to-"

"No, you don't want to do that with me. Come on, let's play tiddlywinks."

I shook my head, reaching up and running my hands across the bounty hunter's armored chest. Something was driving me, something I hadn't shared with Devcon.

Just before his last recharge, Hot Rod had interfaced with someone. I'd been recharging myself, but the intensity of the sensation had been enough to wake me up. I now understood what Hot Rod had gone through when I'd been interfacing with Skywarp almost every night. Instead of being able to enjoy Hot Rod's pleasure, I began to crave my own.

Pinning myself to the table had been extremely difficult to do, especially without alerting Devcon to my discomfort, but I'd managed to stay frozen and tense until Hot Rod had overloaded and gone into recharge.

I'd lain there even longer while my own keyed up body cooled down. It was the first time I'd really longed for Skywarp in the physical sense, but Primus it was strong. The need hadn't really faded, had continued to itch at me ever since.

It'd been maybe a joor and half since he'd interfaced, and my whole body was still crying with need. My wires, my LP, everything was partially consumed by the fire Hot Rod had unwittingly lit under me. I'd been thinking about it all day long, and nothing had distracted me from it. Not even thoughts of Skywarp; thinking of the Seeker actually made it exponentially worse, since he was the only mech I'd ever interfaced with. Frag it all, Skywarp should have been with me for this!

But he wasn't, and so, there I sat on Devcon's lap, stroking his chesst and shoulders and doing my best to look attractive through my energon buzz. I felt a slight thrill when his free hand, the one not holding the energon, reached up, slid cautiously up my thigh and settled at my hip.

"I don't want to do something we'll regret later," he murmured, optics locked on mine.

"Why would I regret it? Just one little interface…" I leaned against Devcon, brushing my lips against his with a soft _snick_. My hands traveled up over his chest and I stroked his helm, pulling his stiffly upright neck down a little. At first he resisted, but when I pulled up against him to kiss him our chests pressed together and a slight groan escaped him.

His grip on my hip tightened, then loosened as he slid it up a little higher. The energon cube was abandoned on the console and suddenly both hands were circling my waist. His lips finally parted to brush his glossa against mine, and I realized it was actually happening. Little fractured pieces of me were protesting furiously, but the energon buzz was strong enough to drown the worst of it out.

My body _wanted _this.

I pressed myself tight against him, running my hands over his shoulders. They were big, but they were poor surrogates for Skywarp's powerful build. His hands found my two outer wings and ran over and up their length, his touch rough and needy. Gasping at the thrill, I slid my attention from his mouth to his neck, licking along the tiny line of unarmored wiring there.

He groaned again, a little louder. With a surge of power that sent a thrill through me he stood up, taking me with him. I grinned in delight before kissing him again, our glossa curling roughly together. There was no tenderness here, no love. Just need.

He went to the berth and lowered me down, easing me free of him until I lay there, staring up at him. His expression wasn't at all reassuring. He looked torn, uncertain, even guilty. Without a word he knelt down to the floor, picking up two of the energon cubes lying there. He passed one to me, then tossed back the other cube without a word. As it drained I watched the cube where it met his lips, then sat up and followed suit with mine.

When we were both finished he continued to stand there, the empty cube dangling from his almost limp fingers.

"Devcon," I said, unable to keep myself from pleading. "I need you for this."

He dropped the cube and sank down, his lips locking against mine fiercely. He held himself sideways over me, one explorative hand running over my body while the other cupped my chin and tilted my face up to meet his, his knee propping his weight.

He started to bring his weight down on me, so I let myself slide back down to the berth. I slipped my fingers under the armor of his back, teasing the wires there. Skywarp had always liked that.

To my surprise, Devcon grabbed my hand, then the other, his one large hand enveloping both of mine. He pushed my arms over my head, making me feel like a captive. I laughed, not expecting something so dominant from the hunter.

He smiled fiercely and ducked his head against the plating that ran along my collar. He nipped down hard and I gasped, pressing my hips up against him as an old human instinct tried to swim to the surface. He smoothed the place over with his glossa, continuing to trail alternating kisses, nips and licks down my chest. His free hand slid between us, strumming along the plethora of exposed frame my undersized alt mode failed to hide.

I couldn't help but whine at the pleasure, and at my inability to reciprocate. His hand was a vice, but the one that trailed between my legs was soft as butter. I expected him to start back up at the point, but instead he eased a piece of my plating lose, followed by something in my very frame.

"What are you doing?" I managed to whimper out as his fingers twined in the extra-sensitive wiring there.

"Took off your housing," he said huskily.

Housing? What- I raced back to my files on interfacing, knowing the word sounded familiar… There. Underneath the housing was another port… Except unlike my other ports, I wouldn't have a cable to connect with him. It was receipt only. Skywarp had never tried that; probably because connecting that way would've been awkward when I was only a third of his size. Maybe now that I was bigger…

I was only a few feet shorter than Devcon, so of course it was an option. The thrill of trying it made me smile. I rolled my hips a little against his hand, until his fingers brushed _something_ that made me yelp. It was pleasure so strong it bordered on pain.

Devcon had a hard smile on his lips when he leaned back, pulling me with him by my captured hands. He released me when I was sitting up.

"Now take off my housing," he ordered gently.

I nodded, smiling mischievously, and pushed against his chest. He reluctantly leaned back until he rested on his back, one bent leg propped on the berth and the other hanging off.

I ran my fingers over his housing, not sure how to go about getting it off. In order to get a better look and to buy myself a little time, I leaned down and licked along the seam. He gripped the back of my helm firmly and I pressed harder between the seams until I felt something else, something uneven. I pulled back and pressed my fingers against the hidden protrusion.

His housing cover popped away easily, and I tossed it to the floor to join mine. His frame was a cool bluish silver. I licked his frame too, unsure of what to do next.

With a jolt Devcon shoved me up and backwards. My helm would've clanged against the berth pretty viciously if not for my old how-to-fall instincts. He was flipping open his own wrist ports, so I followed suit.

Since Devcon seemed to prefer being the one in control I waited for him to make the next move. He did, lowering himself down to me and quickly hooking his cables into me. I waited for him to hook my cables into him, but he didn't. Instead he sent a low buzz into me, so smooth and thrilling that I tossed my head back against the berth.

While I was twisting in pleasure, he lined up our hips, nudging my legs apart. I expected something similar to the cables, a barely noticeable connection followed by electrical pleasure, but-

Something much larger than a tiny cable pressed against me, then with a loud click popped into place. My optics flickered at the intensity of sensation that came with whatever he'd just pushed into me. I tried to pulse some of my pleasure back to him, but I couldn't without my cables plugged into him.

"Plug me in, Devcon," I whispered to the distracted mech.

He grunted a negative at me.

"Why not?"

In response, he sent a pulse of electricity into my housing. The pleasure exploded between my legs and swept through me, escaping as a strangled moan.

Hot Rod woke up at that moment, confusion and shock and anger parading through our connection one after the other. He didn't know if he should be grudgingly happy or upset, so I did my best to send him as much reassurance as I could muster under the onslaught of Devcon's attention.

Finally, it was too much. He was giving too much without getting anything back. I gathered my senses and tried to murmur "Plug me in," but it came out much more aggressively than I'd intended.

He paused mid-nibble and I could see the agitation in his optics. "No," he finally growled.

"Why not? I want to make you feel good too, Dev-"

"I said _no._"

Anger bubbled up in me, backed by Hot Rod's confusion at my sudden mood swing. "No. You _will_ plug me in, or you will get off of me right now."

"Shut _up,_ femme."

I reached up and smacked him firmly on the cheek, my port protesting as it yanked Devcon's arm up as well.

"Don't talk to me like that! Get off of me!"

"Primus, can't you get the crowbar out of your aft long enough to enjoy yourself?"

"I wanted us both to enjoy it, but since you have some weird problem with letting me interface with you, you can forget it!"

He made a cross, snarly noise in his chest and shook his head. "Can't. We're locked together until you overload."

"I don't believe you. Get off of me!" I pushed against him furiously, but he didn't move. "Frag you soldiers and your" -I tried to push again, with the same success- "hydraulics! Or…" Whatever robots used instead of muscles.

"Just lay back and let me make you feel good."

I did lie back, but I kept my arms between us. "Tell me why you won't let me plug into you." I knew this was important, but my energon buzz was starting to weaken my resolve. It would be nice to just let him touch me, flood me with sensation…

"It's just a precaution."

I screwed up my face in surprise. "You mean… you think I'm going to hack your systems or give you a virus? Butcher said I was clean-"

"That's not it. If I let you plug into me, and I get too involved… Especially connected the way we are- I might go too far."

"How." My voice fell flat. I didn't understand.

"It's been a long time, Bravura. As buzzed as I am… I might try to sparkbond with you." Tenderness that had been absent since we'd started suddenly appeared there in his face, and his lips grazed my forehead. "Especially if you're in love with someone… I can't do that to you."

I was too shocked to reply. He wasn't letting me reciprocate because he didn't want to go too far? I tilted my head up and caught his lips with mine, snaking one hand up between us to trace his jaw line.

"I know you won't," I finally reassured him after the surprisingly slow kiss. "You would never do anything to hurt me. You're the only friend I've got out here, as dumb as that sounds when we're –er- like this, and I trust you. Let me interface with you, Devcon."

"You don't know what you're asking, kid," he sighed and brushed kisses down to my neck, his lips gliding along a seam.

"Yes, I do." Cautiously, I reached my other hand up from between us and took one of my cables. He watched me in defeat as I plugged into first one wrist, and then his other. I sent a tiny buzz into him and felt it sing back to me through his cables.

"See?" I sighed into his helm as he renewed his attention at my collar. He grabbed my wrists in each of his large hands and once again pushed them up, only to optic level this time. He delivered a pulse through my housing and I writhed against him as it burst through me, into him, and back again.

He let out a deep moan and bit hard on some partially exposed framework at my neck, resulting in my own strong pulse back.

We began a sort of unsteady pattern; he'd lick or bite or otherwise tease a response out of me, I'd reply with electrical pulses that sang through both of us. Every time it would push him to pulse a burst of energy into my housing. That would start a chain reaction, and soon we were reacting to each other so quickly that there was never a break in the new burst of pleasure and the last one.

At some point he gave up on externally stimulating me, instead gripping my wrists so tightly that my plates creaked, whispering incoherently to himself. I'd begun to play with rippling pulses I'd learned from Skywarp, starting with tiny brief bursts of energy and rapidly building them to almost unbearable intensity.

I'd just reached the peak of one of these pulses when Hot Rod started interfacing with his own partner again, unable to resist the pleasure I was flaunting through our connection. This time, it intensified my own interface instead of making me jealous and I accidentally pushed a little too hard on the pulse.

Devcon pressed his helm hard against mine, his optics staring down into mine like it was the only thing keeping him together. He released my wrists and grabbed my face, kissing me with surprising gentleness just before he sent a pulse into my housing so strong that I tipped immediately into overload and blacked out, echoes of Hot Rod's interface the last thing to fade away.

I woke up a couple of breems later, tired from overloading and nauseous from trying to process too much energon. I was facing the wall, a faintly warm body pressed against my back. One heavy arm was draped loosely over my hip. As I stared at the dark blue paintjob, I swore to never let myself wake up with this mech again.

* * *

Phew! Smut is a lot tougher than I thought it would be. R & R lovelies :)


	7. Chapter 7

I got some really great constructive criticism from giantmidget, which has hopefully gotten me back on track. Yes, the characters were a little OOC, and yes the mindless banging didn't have a real big 'makes sense' spot in the plot but… My excuse is, they were drunk and I wanted to write smut, so there. Megatron's Blackfire also apparently got a big kick out of the last chap, so that made it worth it :)

I really do love that you guys care enough to call me out when I get carried away (how dare Bravura cheat on Skywarp!), and I'll try to avoid messing up future smut attempts : ) Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, everyone!!!

* * *

If you'd asked Hot Rod how I was feeling that 'morning after' he would've said I was ashamed. Intensely, sickeningly ashamed. I was chasing Skywarp, and for what? To jump some mech the first time I got a little randy? I hadn't cared when it was happening, but it would have been way, _way_ too easy to mess up and open my spark chamber to Devcon.

Hot Rod was kind of unhappy with himself, knowing he was in his small way responsible for my feelings of self-loathing. I wanted to hate Hot Rod, but I couldn't. It wasn't his fault. He had his own life, and I'd removed myself from it. He could do what he wanted.

I, on the other hand, had a sense of loyalty to try and resurrect.

After I woke up I'd battled with myself, trying to decide whether I should stay there and wait for Devcon to wake up too, or leap to my feet as fast as I could and get into open space.

I chose the latter. I lurched up so ungracefully that I actually threw Devcon to the floor, off of the thin berth. He flashed to wakefulness and somehow managed to grab my arm before I was out of the hatch.

"Where's the fire?" He asked, his usual gravelly seriousness back.

"Um!" I yelped, trying to yank my arm away.

He stared at me, then sighed. "This is about-"

"It's not about anything!" I gave another good yank, but he only squeezed harder.

"I knew this would happen. We were both over-energized, we weren't thinking straight. If you never want to talk about this again, I understand."

"Sounds great," I ground out. "Can I go now please?"

"Bravura, don't run away."

I wanted to scream at the bigger mech, but I didn't. "Look!" I suddenly burst out in a low, frantic tone. "I only did that with you because my spark twin got busy with someone! It made me feel like some crazy little critters were _crawling_ through my wires. It made _me_ crazy. I love someone else!"

He let me go, surprised, and I bolted through the now open hatch. My alt mode was uncomfortable, but it was better than being trapped in close quarters with my infidelity's enabler.

* * *

_Come in, squad leader. I see some suspicious activity out here in the form of a big fragging explosion. Looks like at least one crimson criminal. Shall I engage?_ I droned to Devcon with my best airline pilot drawl.

_Cut the slag, Bravura. If he's making 'big fragging explosions' you're to fall back and follow, but avoid detection. That means don't let him see you, in case you forgot._

_Really, I was exaggerating. It's more of a small to medium sized explosion._

_If I have to drag your aft out of the garbage heap one more time I'm just going to leave you there._

Time had passed inexorably, with long slow orns of travel punctuated by moments like this, where I'd finally catch sight of the Con.

After that extremely awkward 'morning after' with Devcon I'd taken to traveling and recharging outside the ship, no matter how badly my small alt mode ached. I had to, if I wanted to keep my self-respect. Hot Rod continued to interface with the unknown mech at least every other recharge, sometimes more often.

The worst part about Hot Rod's personal life was that I couldn't complain. I'd done the same thing to him, once. Karma had bitten me firmly in the aft, and now it was giving me a good shake.

I still couldn't hate Hot Rod, but I hated the consuming burn his interfacing filled me with every single time. If I held out long enough it would fade to a mere inconvenience, just in time for him to interface again.

It would've been easy to go back to Devcon in the ship, to come up behind him and run my hands over his shoulders, nibble at his neck and convince him to go back to his berth with me, but… I was still trying to atone for my sins. If I'd been sober, I never would've touched the bounty hunter like that much less let him into my ports. I never would've kissed him.

Oh, Skywarp… how could he leave me alone, to face this kind of thing without his help? If he'd stayed with me Hot Rod's relationship wouldn't have even been a problem. I could've taken out my frustration on the powerful Seeker, and I doubt he would've objected. Instead, I was forced to bite back on my physical need like a horny teenager at church camp… that, or wake up with the bounty hunter again.

Skywarp had promised to always catch me when I fell. I'd fallen, all right.

The one bright side of that single furious interface with Devcon had been that he seemed to see me a little differently. He treated me more like an adult and rarely reminded me to wear my hologram or stay with the ship.

The resulting dark side of my new liberty was that I was back to my old ways, getting into trouble and getting my aft whooped more often than I served the whooping. I'd incapacitated two extremely stupid mechs all by myself by cutting out their primary tension cables, hamstringing them. I'd left them stranded, keeping an optic on them well out of gunshot until Devcon came to put them into stasis.

Except that our client didn't like that I'd damaged the two mechs so severely. We received quite a nasty little pay cut because of it, and so I had to find another way to take them out without a stasis gun. I was still working on it, having managed to get myself beaten around quite a bit with the last few marks.

Why did our client care if the Cons were healthy and fully functioning? What were they doing with the mechs? Devcon refused to offer any thoughts on the topic, and so I was left to guessing. I assumed they were being used as slaves somewhere, though I couldn't see why someone with the power to flash in and out of the area to pick up their victims with Star Trek-like warp speed would need to rely on slavery, but…

But how could Devcon be ok with it? How could he be an accessory to the possible enslavement (or worse) of his own kind? Sure, they were Decepticons, but they were Cybertronians first.

_I'm going in,_ I said to Devcon, angling down towards the small station orbiting a moon, homing in on the source of the burst of light on the lower port side. Once I was within fifty or so feet of the surface of the station artificial gravity grabbed me and I transformed, holograms on and signature silenced. I landed lightly, using my thrusters to slow my fall.

The station was hollow, and most everything that happened there happened on the inside. I ran along the surface of the station until I reached the hole, which was still bleeding gases and smoke.

The station was surprisingly heavily populated for its size. At least twelve Cybertronian signatures. One of them a Decepticon, but it was fading fast, so he was probably already on the run or dying. When I got closer I began to get short wave transmissions, mechs talking to each other over their radios since speaking out loud wasn't an option in the vacuum.

_No, frag it all. NO idea where they went._

_I need to know! Now!_

I jerked to a stop, sliding a bit on the smooth metal. That second voice was _female. _

_A Decepticon comes blasting in, steals half my energon, and you think I care where your buddies disappeared to?_

_Yes! Look at me, Drips! _She sounded upset.

Drips? What'd he do to deserve a name like that?

_I see you. Just hang tight, I've got more important things to worry about than your skinny little aft right now._

I came to the hole, then dropped inside. Several mechs whirled to look at me and relaxed once they'd sized me up. Most of them turned away quickly.

I was only looking for one robot. There she was, hot pink paint and all. She was trying to grab the attention of a bartender, grabbing his arm and probably berating him through the contact.

Decepticon all but forgotten, I crossed the room and touched her. She whirled on me, all fury and pomp.

_Get your hands off me, you ugly blob of used coolant!_

Ooo la la. Feisty. _You have no idea how happy I am to see you, _I said, relief obvious in my voice.

She glared at me, then looked down disdainfully at my hand on her shoulder. _I'm a little busy, in case you didn't notice._

_No, I did. A Decepticon gave you some trouble?_

_Yes, not that it matters to you._

I tried to smile brightly, but my shock made it crooked. _I was hunting him, actually._

_You were late._

_What's your name?_ I asked suddenly. A real femme…

_Exotica._

I made a face. Exotica? What kind of name was that? It sounded like something straight out of porno, and it didn't suit her androgynous facial features.

_Uh, that's great. I'm really happy to see you, Exotica. My name is Bravura._

She frowned. _Weird name for a mech._

_Well, you see… I'm not a mech. I'm wearing a holo-_

She shifted closer to me and grabbed my arm under the hologram, squeezing with surprising strength. _You have to come with me,_ she said excitedly after she saw her hand disappear into the hologram.

_Uh, to where?_

_My ship. I have to show you something._

What could she possibly need to show a total stranger?

_I kind of have a Con to catch-_

_No, this is really important! Come!_ She yanked on my arm and started out, pulling me stumbling behind her. She was a foot or so taller than me, and stronger. A little bulkier, too, but that might be her alt mode.

_Ok, but this needs to be quick_.

_It won't take long at all._

She began running a little faster, so fast that I began to wonder if someone was chasing us. I looked, but the dark, narrow halls were empty.

It took only a few minutes to get to her ship, a fairly fast looking piece of work several times the size of Devcon's skimmer. I wondered if I was getting myself into another terrible mess, but… she was a femme. We had to stick together.

Exotica prodded me into the ship ahead of her, smiling widely the whole time. I smiled back nervously and ducked into the unfamiliar ship, enveloped in darkness when the hatch slid shut behind her. I was getting really uneasy when she activated the lights, revealing a messy interior with a few rooms breaking off of the main aisle I'd stepped into.

"Come to the console," she said, tugging me along by the wrist. "Turn off that silly hologram, too."

I did, and she wolf whistled. "Look at you! That alt mode really shows you off! Too bad you're all gray, you'd look fantastic in a nice violet, don't you think?"

"Not really, no. Blue, maybe."

"Pfft, blue." She waved my preference off, physically plunking me into what looked like the copilots chair.

"So, tell me how you ended up out here," Exotica said, moving to stand behind me and stroking my shoulders.

I wriggled a little under her hands. Something didn't feel right here, but I couldn't figure out what…

"Working with a bounty hunter."

"Mate?"

"No."

"Oh, wonderful!"

I twisted to look up at the pink femme. "Wonderful?"

"Oh, you know. Lots of single mechs out there!"

I turned away to hide my suspicious glare. Her voice was too high, too tight. I had to get back to the station immediately, back on neutral ground.

I started to stand up, but she clamped down on my shoulders and jammed me back into my chair.

"I have to go, Exotica. I have a job to do."

"Not so soon. Stay here, meet my friends."

"No, thank you." I stood up again a little more forcefully, and once again she slammed me back down. Primus, she was strong.

I flashed out my knives and did a fancy twist, ending with my blade at her throat while I perched on the chair, one leg extended back to the console for balance.

"I'm leaving, Exotica."

She stepped back slowly, a wicked smile crossing her features. I frowned, then realized why when the hatch hissed open. A few mechs were about to file into the ship when the first stopped dead, staring down the aisle at our little scene.

"What's going on here?" He asked slowly.

"I found a new friend," Exotica said, easing back against the console and behind me. I shot her a look, then hopped off the chair and started stalking towards the mech, and the exit.

"I'm sorry to cut my visit short, but I have to go."

"You just got here," the first mech said with a greasy smile, spreading his hands out. "Sit down, let's chat."

I stopped short of them, only a few feet between us. "No."

His smile faltered. "You'd better sit down."

"Don't underestimate me, mech!"

_Devcon, I have a seriously bad situation here. I need help!_

_Coordinates?_

I began to answer, but I was cut off by Exotica's voice, just inches from my audios. "Time to relax, Bravura."

I tried to spin around, but something struck me in the head and I crumpled to my knees. I caught a glimpse of Exotica's bright pink paint job as she tapped a large metal tool into her palm. It's possible I could've stayed conscious after that, but she bent down and bashed the tool against my face, knocking me offline.

* * *

I woke up to a hand sliding across my chest plate. I jerked my head up to see one of the mechs from before crouching over me.

He grinned. "Have a nice recharge?"

I tried to reach up and punch that smile off of his filthy faceplate, but I couldn't. My hands were bound behind my hands and over my wings.

He laughed at my anger and continued to stroke my chest. "Primus, but you're delicious. All that fire, all this frame showing under the alt mode…"

I tried to call for Devcon, but my comm. suite was disabled. So were a lot of things, including my transformation protocols and my plasma gun. I could still feel my laser gun latched under my wings, so that was one plus.

His fingers snaked between my plating and ran along my wiring. I wrenched myself away from him.

"Touch me again and I'll make sure you wish you were dead," I threatened.

He laughed so loudly that another mech popped his head into the small room I'd been tossed into.

"What's so funny?" He asked, then his optics lit on me. "Blast, that's fraggin' hot… She's staying with me for my next recharge."

"If you get near me I'll jam your cables into your optics," I snarled at him.

The one closest to me reached for me, and I lashed out with my legs. They weren't bound together, which somehow didn't surprise me.

One support caught his chin, the other his neck, and he flew against the wall. The mech at the door descended on me, dropping on top of me and trapping my legs together under his weight.

I screamed furiously and tried to beat him with my helm, but I simply couldn't bend that far. Damn upgrade!

The other mech was on me in moments, sitting down hard on my chest and painfully crushing my arms and wings.

"Exo, we need a sedative! She's nuts!"

"On it!" Exotica's voice called from the aisle. In a couple of seconds she was in the room too, a small hypodermic in her hand. I shrieked at her wordlessly, but then she'd stuck the needle into my neck and I was quickly floating away from the heavy mechs pinning me to the floor.

* * *

Alone. I woke suddenly, angrily. Hot Rod was panicking, beside himself with fear for me. I sent him a tired burst of reassurance laced with my own fear. I wasn't dead, but I was still in trouble.

Devcon… He would help, if he could find me. I tested the restraints on my wrists and found they weren't tied well enough. All it would take would be to let out my knives, a trick I'd used successfully once before.

I released my knives, hissing in surprise when they stabbed into my wing plating. I took a deep, deliberate intake and wriggled my wrists. This was much more difficult with long knives; the scalpels I'd once sported would've slipped right out of my cuffs.

After wrenching my shoulders several times one arm slipped free, followed by the other. I didn't waste any time, reaching into my hip and activating both tracking beacons. I'd just flipped the compartment shut when the door to my tiny enclosure slid opened, a surprised mech standing there.

I threw myself at him, slashing viciously at his face. He fell back and I burst past him, running for the hatch at the end of the ship. My hopes were short lived when an alarm sounded, turning the ship's lighting red. Mechs flooded out of the few doors in the aisle, four or five at least. I stopped short and sank into a crouch, knives pointing down both ends of the aisle.

Exotica pushed past the mechs between the exit and me, hot pink paint vivid in the red light.

"Come now, Bravura. It's not that bad."

A femme had done this to me. She'd tricked me! She'd exposed me to this!

"How could you?!" I screamed and threw myself at her, exchanging knives for fists. I knocked her to her back and got in a few good punches before I was yanked off of her. "**Bitch! Whore! I hope you burn in hell, you VD infested slut!**"

I couldn't scream at her anymore, because someone had plunged another needle into my neck and I was drifting away…

* * *

I woke up slowly the next time. There were other mechs in the room with me, talking to each other. Someone was petting my hip lazily.

"No, Exo won't shut up. He's sick of being the femme, and I'm the next smallest on the ship…"

"We won't make you play the femme, pal. You're way too bulky. Exo's perfect for the job, wimpy as he is. Have you seen him throw one of his hissy fits? But you know, if we can get this femme reprogrammed nobody will have to fake it anymore."

Reprogrammed?! How the hell were they planning to _reprogram_ me? And why was Exotica, or maybe just Exo, pretending to be a femme?

"Cooling system kicked on, think she's comin' around. Knock her out, or let her wake up?"

"Let me wake up," I groaned against the floor.

The two mechs chuckled. One actually helped me sit up; I couldn't do it on my own, chains had been wrapped around me, pinning my arms to my chest and binding my legs together.

"You done having you little freak out?" the mech closest to me asked cautiously.

"No. Soon as I get the chance I'm going to chop somebody's head off." I kept my voice calm and sweet.

"You're not getting the chance." I finally really _looked _at the mechs in the room with me. One was red, one was blue. The red one was still petting me like a little cat, as if it were therapeutic to him. He was the smaller of the two, so he was afraid of getting Exo's job.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked as meekly and weakly as I could manage. I was full of rage and unspent energy, but that wouldn't get me far. Speak softly, carry a big stick… The problem was, they all had bigger sticks than me. I had to speak softly, indeed.

"Aw, don't worry! We aren't going to hurt you, cutie!" The blue one said cheerfully. "Just have to get in your processor a little, and soon you'll be as happy as can be."

"Happy doing what."

"Well, Exo's job. Mostly he lures mechs back to the ship, and we fleece 'em. Take their credits, their parts if they're hooked up.

"I don't want to do that," I said, looking down. I hoped I was playing the part of 'sweet and helpless femme' well enough.

"You will," the red one said, his hand still stroking my thigh. He put his arm over me, his face coming dangerously close.

I looked away, the urge to scream clawing it way through my control. Human memories that I didn't like to think about were flashing through my processor, images of a man who liked to wear red plaid. I trembled at a particularly painful memory of my month long kidnapping, and the red mech actually laughed. Bastard.

"If you're good, I'll take these chains off later and we can get to know each other in my quarters," the red mech whispered into my audio.

"Bad idea, Sizzler," the blue one said.

"Why, Undershaker?"

"You saw her jump on Exo. She's playing you, mech. She's not sweet at all."

Sizzler reached up and grabbed my chin, pulling my face around and looking me over. "You were just scared, right?"

I nodded.

Sizzler chuckled, thumb running over my lips. "Look at these optics, Undershaker. They make her look so helpless, trusting even. Like she needs some mech to take care of her."

"Don't fall for it, Siz."

"Just don't tell the others when I take her to my quarters, ok?"

Undershaker threw up his hands and stood up. "It's your aft, mech." He left without a second glance.

Dubious trust of idiot acquired. Phase one complete.

Sizzler eventually left to take care of his duties, replaced by Exotica herself. Himself.

I lunged across the floor at the imposter, my rage at the sight of her drowning out my LP. I wanted to kill her! Him!

Exo stood in the doorway, slim arms crossed over that distinctly feminine chest. "You're just making a fool of yourself," he said, then came into the tiny room and shut the door. He picked me up by the chain and propped me back against the wall, then sat down next to me.

"I'm sorry, you know," he said in that high soprano. "I'm just sick of wearing this stupid chest piece, swinging my hips and wearing pink… I want my old voice back, my old self-respect."

"So you're just going to let them reprogram me into a fragging servodroid."

"Well… I was hoping you'd cooperate."

I snorted and looked away from the pink mech.

"I really am sorry, Bravura."

"Doesn't do me any good. Save it, diva."

He let loose a tittering laugh. "Diva… That's a good one too. Maybe it can be your street name."

I shivered with anger. "Please get out."

"You'd rather have someone else's company? At least you're relatively safe with me."

"Do the other mechs make you go to their berths with them, Exo? That's what they'll do to me."

He looked down, running a hand over his narrow face. "It's not as bad as it could be for you."

"I'd rather be dead," I growled.

"Yeah, I got that." He stood up and strode to the door, his curves glinting in the dim lights. "I'll leave you alone, but don't blame me if some mech comes in here later and wants a piece of you."

"I'm not exactly accessible all tied up."

Exo sighed and left the room, the door hissing shut behind him.

My very real fears of being trapped in this situation forever bubbled up eventually, so strong that I let myself slide to my side so that I could face the wall and quietly sob. Hot Rod was with me every moment, all of his attention devoted to trying to get me through it. It was a sweet gesture on his part, and I appreciated it more than anyone but he would ever know, but it didn't change anything.

Several other mechs came to look at me, but in general they didn't speak to me. They'd prop me up, feel what curves they could under the numerous chains looped around me, try to tease me, but I'd take on the dead expression that had gotten me through this situation once before. They got nothing thrilling out of me, and they would leave in disgust.

Sizzler came back frequently, talking to me about the problems he faced working on the ship while he stroked me. Their leader, Argent, was a fair mech, but everyone else rubbed him the wrong way. Except for Exo, he was the smallest mech and therefore subject to their abuse.

There were seven bots on board altogether, including Exo and excluding me. Devcon would have his hands full when he arrived, but I had complete confidence in his ability to blow them all to bits.

My real break came when Sizzler seemed particularly interested in touching me, as if he were growing impatient. I'd consistently been nothing but sweet to him, and his defenses were all but gone. When he pulled me to my feet, I knew what was happening, and I was ready.

"Shh," he whispered to me with a smile. I returned it, really buttering him up. He picked me up and hefted me over one shoulder, then carried me out of the small room to his quarters.

It was small and ugly. A few kitschy decorations had been magnetized to the walls, but the effect was unpleasant. Sizzler locked his lips against mine as soon as he set the lock and let me slide to my feet.

I resisted the urge to bite a chunk out of him, but only because my escape depended on the next few moments. I tilted my head up to him and kissed him back, feeling his hands plucking at my chains.

He backed me to the berth until into bumped into my knees. They folded beneath me and I let myself fall down onto it, false excitement all over my face. He followed me down, stroked my shoulders and down my arms to the chains. With a grunt he pulled back and released the simple lock, then uncoiled then chains from my upper body. I spread my arms and leaned back, showing off my chest and my narrow waist.

He bent down to free my legs in the same way. As soon as I heard the lock release I loosed my knives and plunged them mercilessly into the exposed wiring between his neck's armor and his helm. The blades sank in effortlessly, powered by my pent up wrath. He never even got to scream; I'd damaged his vocal processors. An agonized whirring came from his chest, so I yanked his head up and plunged a knife into one optic.

In just moments I saw the light in his optics fade away. I slowly let his body slide to the floor, then untied my legs, shaking.

I'd just killed a mech.

Sure, I fought them all the time. I probably doomed them to the same fate as this poor fool, but I never did the actual deed myself. Now my knives dripped the energon and coolant of a dead bot, and I'd done it so easily.

The dead mech's energon pooled beneath him and I watched it for a long time, until the urgency of my situation brought me back to my senses. Devcon would be happier with me if I got out of this without his help, and for once I wanted to do something right, even if it was just getting out of my own mess.

I edged around the body as I pulled my laser from my back and released the safety. I was going to head straight for the door. If I could get outside of the ship I was almost guaranteed freedom, and there wasn't much I wouldn't do in order to get it.

The door slid open with a faint _whoosh_ and I peeked down the aisle, towards the airlock and back up to the cockpit. I could just see two mechs sitting in the pilot and copilot chairs, but the aisle was otherwise empty. This was going to happen fast, one chance.

I slid from the door, doing everything in my power to walk silently. My feet clicked faintly against the metal, easily absorbed by the overall hum of the ship. I walked as quickly as I could and still remain relatively silent. I reached the door and hit the release.

_**WooOOoop! WooOOoop!**_

Some kind of atmospheric warning. The door was openly slowly, reluctantly, but I could hear the mechs in the cockpit, others scrambling out of their quarters. I shoved my hand into the tiny but growing gap and pushed, trying to speed things up. Air whistled out, mocking me.

"Frag it all, she's getting away!"

I raised my laser and pointed it down the hall, all the time shoving the door. It had opened about six inches, maybe a tiny bit more.

"Stay back!" I yelled over the squeal of lost air and pressure.

"Where's the tranq gun? Where'd you put it?!"

Eight inches. So fragging slow! And the damnable atmosphere alarm was still going strong.

One foot. I fired the laser into the mechs hovering halfway down the aisle, and one cried out in pain. Good.

I shoved my shoulder into the airlock and used that for leverage, increasing the speed by a fraction. A mech was pushing to the front from the cockpit.

It was Argent, the leader of this nasty group of cockroaches, and he had a gun in his hand. I aimed at him and fired, but it hit another mech who accidentally got in the way.

The only thing keeping me from squeezing out of the airlock now was my chest, but I was able to put my whole strength into the door now. Argent raised the gun, aimed it carefully and fired just as I broke free of the airlock and feel out into space. The tranq caught me in the wiring of my hip.

I ripped it out as quickly as I could, but the damage was done. I realized belatedly that I couldn't transform, so I burst my thrusters to get away from the ship. It was slower than real flying, but it was better than sticking around.

The blackness of space was being absorbed by a deeper darkness, and it terrified me. I couldn't go back to that ship. I considered aiming the laser at my own neck, but I couldn't do it. I was too afraid to take my own life, no matter how bad things were about to get.

Another tranq dart pinged off my plating, but it didn't penetrate. It wheeled of uselessly into space, a piece of aimless debris.

What would it be like, being reprogrammed? Would I remember what I'd been, or would I embrace my new and pointless existence with a squeaky clean and empty mind?

Something swooped over me, and I tried to burn away from it, but it followed me. I saw the flash of gunfire, and realized they must be shooting at me now. Just trying to put me out of commission? Or kill me?

I was fading fast. Someone grabbed me and I curled away like a disturbed earthworm, but the grip held fast. I was pulled into gravity and tossed to the floor like a rag doll. Unconsciousness overtook me, the flash of weapons firing the last thing I saw.

* * *

R & R, lovelies :) Constructive criticism is embraced!


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry guys, short chapter. I just can't seem to find the time to write a lot, but I got this together and I figured I oughta patch that cliffy :)

I added this chapter before deleting some of my notes-to-self in there... if you saw that, well... Hmm. Forget what you saw.

* * *

Hot Rod was interfacing again. Again? Was he that fraggin' horny? But… that wasn't it. I listened in on his emotions, spying, and slowly realized he was scared. Anxious and stressed to the point of breaking, and that whoever was with him was trying to help him relax. Lucky Hot Rod.

I listened hard for any noise around me, trying to gauge if any of the mechs were in the room with me. It was quiet, except for a soft rhythmic clicking from far away…

Far away? There was no 'far away' in the tiny room they were keeping me in…

I onlined my optics and winced slightly at the bright light that flooded them. No, too bright for that tiny room. I got my bearings, slowly looking a few inches left, right. I had no idea where the frag I was. I eased my head around, taking in the room.

A lot of white and silver. Several tables like the one I was on. Narrow, but long. Nobody else here… No. Scratch that. Sitting behind a desk at one end of the long room was a mostly red mech reading from a small pad. He leaned on his elbow, propping up his head in one shiny palm. He looked bored, but it was hard to say for sure; his optics were strange... Like one pair of ugly bridgeless sunglasses.

Despite Hot Rod's preoccupation, he was suddenly aware of my new fear. All of his pleasure stopped abruptly. The poor bot was more stressed than ever. Even though _I_ was the one stuck in the strange room I felt so bad for my brother that I worked up a good strong feeling of confidence_; I can handle whatever comes at me, so don't worry, honey_. My emotional message didn't reassure him a bit. He knew I was faking it.

I ran through my systems, trying to see what I had to work with. Weapons still offline, laser gun not latched in. My knives apparently couldn't be disabled, being naturally grown…

I could transform! My comm. suite was back!

I immediately called out to Devcon.

_Bravura?!_ He sounded tired and concerned.

_Devcon, I don't know where I am. I don't know what happened, I was trying to get away and now there's this strange mech-_

_Are you hurt? _

_No, I think I'm fine. Devcon, where are you?_

"Oh, good. You're online."

I shrieked and rolled off the table, landing painfully with a clang. He saw me! Oh God, where would I run? In a wild panic I changed to my alt mode and blasted my thrusters.

Bad idea. I ran into the wall with a thunderous boom, hit the floor and skidded sideways against it until I had the good sense to cut them off. I transformed and leapt to my feet, knives sliding free.

_Did you copy that, Bravura?_

_I'll call you back! _

"Easy, easy! I'm an Autobot! You're in the ship's repair bay!"

I stared at the strange mech, finally seeing the Autobot symbol on his left shin. I slumped back against the wall, retracting my knives.

"Oh," I sighed. "I thought… I'm sorry."

"It's perfectly all right." The medic approached me slowly, as if he though I might have another fit, but all the fight had drained out of me. Until the door in the center of one wall slid open and a beefy yellow mech with a gun burst in.

My instincts forced me to leap past the medic and duck behind an exam table.

"My, you got here fast," I heard the medic chuckle.

"I heard an explosion. Who's hiding back there?"

"The femme, Sunstreaker. The one you dragged back to the ship not a joor ago."

"That's right, the fraglet." I heard his guns power down, and clanking and whirring as they were put away.

"Sunstreaker!" The medic scolded. "Have a care."

I stood slowly, cautiously. The big yellow mech, Sunstreaker, was crossing the repair bay as if I had ceased to exist. He stretched out on a table, beckoning to the medic.

"Sideswipe again?" The medic gave me a helpless smile and went to the yellow mech. The big bot had an unusually shiny paintjob, finials on either side of his face like Mirage, and the attitude of someone who knows he's hot. He was good looking, but his attitude was repellent.

"Yes. I don't know what the frag I'm supposed to do!" Sunstreaker waved his arms in the air emphatically. "Can you just refresh my coolant again?"

"It won't help," the medic said, crossing his arms.

"It did last time," the rude yellow mech snapped.

"It's the placebo effect. You think it will help, so you feel better when you get it. It's a waste of good coolant."

"Come on, First Aid. Please?"

"Go work it off in the training room."

Sunstreaker snarled and swung his legs off the table to sit up. "Bluestreak and Tracks are already down there."

"So?"

"Bluestreak can't keep his mouth shut for half a breem, and Tracks thinks he's cast in platinum! I can't put up with it right now, First Aid. Please!"

Where had I heard the name Tracks before?

First Aid sighed. "Fine, I'll give you a little this time. Don't come in here for it again."

I watched as Sunstreaker grinned triumphantly. It surprised me to see that when First Aid poured the coolant into Sunstreaker he didn't even flinch. He made me feel like a wimp.

The yellow mech left without a thank you.

"You're welcome," First Aid grumbled, then looked at me with a rueful smile. "He's not the worst I've treated, if you can believe that."

I shrugged. The exam table was still between us.

"You said he dragged me back to your ship," I almost whispered.

First Aid nodded, approaching me and leaning his hip against the table with his arms crossed over his chest. "That's right. We'd just caught up with that awful chop shop when you came bursting out of their airlock. An Autobot called Devcon had already sent an emergency request to every Autobot he could reach to search for you. We weren't actually, you know, _actively_ looking for you, but our Commander, Ultra Magnus, decided you needed our help."

I nodded, trying to absorb all of this. Devcon had been so afraid for me that he'd asked for help?

"Anyway, you were flying erratically, and those criminals were firing tranquilizers at you. Sunny has a jetpack that he usually reserves for fighting, but Magnus asked him to use it to retrieve you. He wasn't gentle with you, though I imagine you were unconscious by then."

The memory of being thrown to the floor was vague and fuzzy, but it was there.

_Devcon?_

_Are you ok?!_

_Yes, I'm fine. I'm with some Autobots. The medic says their Commander's name is Ultra Magnus._

_I know, he contacted me._

My fingers twitched into loose fists. _You knew I was with Autobots earlier and you still let me freak out?_

_I tried to tell you, but you weren't listening. Look,_ _your tracking signal is getting pretty strong. I should be there soon. Stay out of trouble. Please!_

_I've had enough trouble for a lifetime, Devcon. Hurry._


	9. Chapter 9

Eep! Here! Take it, I don't want it! *drops chapter and runs*

* * *

I could see why Hot Rod didn't like Tracks.

First Aid had more or less left me to myself in the repair bay, so I'd given it some thought and realized that Mirage and my brother had once mentioned someone named Tracks; Mirage thought he was ok, but Hot Rod had tried to shoot him in his sleep. Mirage might be used to overconfident mechs, being a bit of one himself, but Tracks grated on me.

He'd come with the other mech, Bluestreak. I'd been confused at first, since Bluestreak wasn't blue at all… But then he opened his mouth.

"It's so wonderful to meet you! Who would have guessed we'd find someone like you on a routine mission? I can't imagine what it must have been like! Weren't you flying? Where are your wings? Oh, never mind! I see them! Blades has wings sort of like that. Sometimes I wonder what that must be like! Tracks here can fly, it's a special mod he has. He's not a natural like you. Have you met? Tracks, this is Bravura."

"Nice to meet you, Bravura." When Tracks smiled I almost imagined a gleam of light flashed off his denta.

"Nice to meet you, too."

First Aid had moved back to his desk after introducing me to Bluestreak and Tracks. Bluestreak seemed to be in his own little world, smiling with a truly easygoing attitude. I could imagine myself liking him; sometimes, you just want someone else to do the talking.

But I didn't like the look Tracks was wearing. It was similar to that yellow mech, Sunstreaker, who knew he was good looking and expected others to respond accordingly, though there was less disdain in Tracks. The two mechs were obviously formidable soldiers, but Tracks was outright overdone. He had wings, giant guns on his massive shoulders, and a bright red faceplate.

"You wouldn't believe how long it's been since we saw a femme! Probably ten vorns at least, wouldn't you say, Tracks?"

"Maybe, Blue."

Ten vorns since they even saw a femme? How long ago was the femme extermination?

"Are there… many of us left?" I asked hesitantly. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to know this or not. Neither seemed bothered by the question.

"A few, if the rumors are true. We know two are under the protection of a unit running an armory. One had a sparkling a few vorns ago, if I remember correctly," Tracks said smoothly.

"But you know, those rumors make it sound like there are hundreds of femmes who've been captured or enslaved," Bluestreak said with disgust. "I can't decide if I'd rather the rumors be false and just a handful be alive, or if it's better they're alive at all… It's no way to live."

"No, it's not," I agreed with maybe a little too much vehemence.

The two exchanged a look, then turned back to me. "Who's protecting you, Bravura?" Tracks asked. There was more than one meaning in that question, and it made me bristle.

"The Autobot Devcon. He took me in against his better judgment."

"One Autobot?" Tracks scoffed. "You should have a dozen mechs guarding you."

"Devcon's worth a dozen mechs."

The winged mech's expression changed subtly. "Then why did we have to save you? You know, I'm _really_ worth at least a dozen mechs."

Bluestreak laughed. "You're such a kidder, Tracks! I don't know where you get it!"

I forced a short laugh, not taking my optics off Tracks. I was having an extremely difficult time not slapping the slagger. How dare he insult Devcon?

Bluestreak took my hand suddenly, tugging me away from the table I'd been leaning against. "Come on, let's get some energon! We just got out of training and we could use it, and I bet you could too after being a prisoner!"

"I don't know if I'm allowed," I said, looking across the long room to First Aid.

"Hey, doc! Can Bravura grab a cube with us?" Tracks called to the medic.

First Aid looked up thoughtfully. "She isn't in need of repairs, and Magnus didn't ask me to confine her. Keep her with you at all times."

Bluestreak tugged again, and I let him lead me quickly to the door. "Thanks, First Aid," he called cheerily as we left the bright room.

Tracks followed closely behind, since there wasn't quite room for him, with his wide wings, to walk alongside both of us.

"Maybe we'll see some of the other Protectobots. Silly name, isn't it? But they like being called it, because they're combiners. First Aid's an arm, I think," Bluestreak chattered.

"What's a combiner?"

"They're bots who have a special ability to connect with certain other bots. They can combine into one big mech, and when they do it's just about impossible to stop them without another combiner's help."

"I've given Menasor a run for his money, and Sunstreaker and Sideswipe got Devastator to break apart once," Tracks pointed out.

"But it put Sunny in the repair bay for orns, didn't it?" Bluestreak added.

"Devastator… Isn't he the Constructicons?" I asked thoughtfully.

"Well, yeah. How'd you know that?"

"I've seen them. Not combined. What do the Protectobots call themselves when they're all combined?"

"Defensor, of course," Bluestreak chirped. He was still holding my hand, though he didn't seem to be aware of it.

"Of course," I repeated dryly.

The ship was large, and Bluestreak babbled almost the entire way. Tracks spoke up occasionally, usually to correct one of the pearly gray-white mech's exaggerations. We passed only a couple of other mechs, whom Bluestreak stopped to introduce me to.

"Springer, Blades, this is Bravura. Isn't she pretty?"

Both of the mechs were much larger than average; Springer must have been pushing thirty feet tall. They grinned at me good-naturedly, but I looked down self-consciously anyway.

"Always nice to have another flyer onboard," the green one, Springer, said.

I looked up sharply, finally noticing his digitigrade legs. "You fly? I've never met an Autobot natural."

"We both do," Blades said. "Similar alt modes, too. It was a coincidence," he added hastily. Bluestreak had mentioned Blades; he had thin wings poking up from his back. What could he turn into?

"Springer's a triple changer, though," Bluestreak piped in. "He can turn into a land-based vehicle _and_ fly. I always wished I could do that!"

"I've never heard of a triple changer," I said, impressed.

Springer puffed his chest out a little, proud. "We're not common."

I was about to ask him what his flying alt mode was when Bluestreak tugged at me insistently. "Come on, Bravura!"

I waved to Springer and Blades, almost wishing I could stay and talk to them. Flyers seemed so uncommon among the Autobots.

"I don't see what's so great about those triple changers," Tracks grumbled.

"Aw, don't be sore, Tracks. They can't fly in zero-g, either. And you don't have those funny legs. No offense, Bravura! They look nice on you."

I twisted a little as I walked to look back at Tracks. "How do you do that? Fly, I mean."

Tracks basked in the attention. "I have a special upgrade. It's hard to find and almost never compatible with regular bots, but I had a flyer in my family a few generations back and I got lucky. It doesn't hold a candle to someone like you," he admitted. "It's not very efficient for long distance traveling or tight maneuvers, and just about useless without a little gravity, but it's an advantage over most bots."

I nodded and looked back ahead of me as Bluestreak slowed down.

"Here we are!" Bluestreak said, palming a glowing pad on the wall. The door slid open and he pulled me in behind him. "You two go ahead and sit down," he said kindly. "I'll grab us all some cubes."

Tracks replaced Bluestreak's hand with his own and led me to an empty table. Two bots were sitting at the back of the room, but he ignored them despite the fact that they seemed fairly interested in us. Or rather, in me.

He waited for me to sit down, then pushed my chair in for me and sat down next to me. I didn't miss that he slid his chair a little closer to me than it strictly should have been.

"You _are_ very pretty," Tracks said to me quietly. He watched my reaction, which was to duck my face a little and look away. "You don't think so, do you? Is it because of the, ah, scuffmarks?"

"Marks? Where?"

"Your faceplate."

"I thought there was only one." I reached up and touched my cheek where I knew one scuffmark lurked. Tracks extended his hand to my face slowly, as if I might bite, and lightly touched above my own fingers, at my temple, then drew away again.

I felt there too and sighed. "Must have happened when that imposter Exo knocked me out."

Tracks shrugged, smiling. "I have some really great wax, if you want to try it. It helps hide that sort of thing. Scuffs like those won't smooth out for a long time."

"I don't really need to hide it. I wear a mech hologram in public, mostly. Mirage made part of it for me." I deliberately plugged my old friend, just to see if this was the right Tracks.

Tracks seemed surprised at the mention of Mirage and started to say something, but Bluestreak came back, interrupting.

"Here you go!" The bubbly mech had a cube in each hand, and a third balanced out top of one of them. He handed the single cube to me and gave the top cube to Tracks, then sat across from us. "Why didn't you sit with Blaster and Kup?"

Tracks shrugged. "They looked busy."

"Huh, they don't anymore. Maybe we should call them over? Hey Bl-" He started to stand up, but Tracks leaned across the table and stopped him.

"Come on, Blue, we don't have to introduce her to every bot on the ship!" Tracks

groaned.

Bluestreak sat down willingly enough, looking confused. "Why not? Doesn't everyone like meeting new bots? I love it, it's always fun getting to talk about new things!"

I smiled at the oblivious Bluestreak. Tracks wanted more attention for himself, that I was sure of, while Bluestreak seemed to enjoy showing of his new friend the femme.

"I don't mind meeting them," I said with a smile. "It seems like the only mechs I can trust are Autobots and a few medics, so I might as well get to know as many as I can."

Bluestreak frowned. "It must be terrible."

I shrugged. It was a fact of life now, kind of like not getting to eat my favorite Human foods anymore. "When life gives you…" I trailed off. There was no Cybertronian equivalent for a lemon, as far as I knew.

Tracks laid his hand over mine where it rested next to my cube of energon. I looked up at the soldier in surprise. He thought I was choked up! There was real compassion in his expression, as well as in Bluestreak's.

My shoulders slumped as I sighed. I was tired of people giving me _that_ look. Butcher and Pinch had both worn it around me. Even Exo had pitied me. Devcon seemed to be the only bot out here who treated me the way I wanted to be treated. Well, mostly… I'd give almost anything for Mirage's easy companionship, Prowl's rare approval, Ratchet's obvious pleasure in teaching, Hot Rod's comforting presence when I recharged...

"We'll fix everything someday," Bluestreak said gently.

I shook off my homesickness and looked up at Bluestreak with a slightly forced smile "I know. I'm not sad or angry… Not very, anyway. It's not the Autobots' fault."

I used my free hand to pick up my energon cube and take a sip; Tracks still held my other one captive.

"Well, well! What have we here?"

I looked for the source of the rough, crackly voice and saw that the bots from the other table had walked over. The one who'd spoken was a roughened mech who seemed like he'd seen better days, wearing a green and brown camouflage paint job. The mech with him was red and yellow, with short antennae on either side of his face. His optics were partially shaded by a visor.

"This is the femme we found earlier!" Bluestreak chirped unnecessarily. "Her name is Bravura. Bravura, this is Kup and Blaster. Kup's been a war hero since before the war! He's seen everything, and Blaster can do things with radio frequencies that you wouldn't believe!"

Blaster tilted his head at me a little. "You should see what I could do with the right music." His optic ridges twitched suggestively and I very nearly burst out laughing.

"Maybe some other time. Nice to meet you two."

"Pleasure's all mine," said Blaster, pulling up a chair next to Bluestreak.

Kup remained standing, but when Bluestreak tried to talk him into sitting he waved the friendly mech off.

"I have a mountain of reports to look over, I should really take care of it. You don't let these mechs push you around," he said with a firm nod to me, then turned and walked away.

Blaster snorted. "Looks like Tracks is already getting pushy."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tracks scowled at the offending mech.

Blaster waved casually to the table, and I looked down. Oh, his hand. He was still holding mine.

I slid it slowly out from under his, not wanting to hurt his feelings, but not wanting to let him walk all over me either. Tracks didn't seem bothered at all, fortunately, and simply folded his arms on the tabletop to lean forward a bit. I could practically feel his wing close to my back, but I tried to ignore it.

"We were beginning to think we'd seen the last of any new femmes," Blaster said conversationally. "How'd you manage to stay hidden for so long?"

"I stayed on an organic planet out in the middle of nowhere. Optimus Prime and a lot of his top mechs found their way out there eventually, following the Allspark."

All of the mechs straightened.

"They recovered the Allspark?" Tracks asked in shock.

"No… It was destroyed when they killed Megatron."

"Megatron's dead? That's fantastic! I mean, it's terrible about the Allspark, especially considering the femmes… Really terrible. But it's really good news to hear that tyrant is gone," Bluestreak said awkwardly.

"We need to take her to the Commander," Blaster said quietly.

"I don't know much," I protested. "I left before Starscream started causing much trouble. It's gotten worse."

"How do you know that?"

"Hot Rod, my twin."

Everything went wrong at that point.

"Hot Rod? The Autobot Hot Rod?"

I nodded slowly.

"Hot Rod doesn't have a twin. And certainly not a _femme _twin."

"Kup never mentioned a twin."

"We need to get Kup, too."

Tracks took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I suddenly felt that I was in hostile territory, so I didn't resist. These mechs could fold me into a pretzel if they cared to.

Bluestreak and Blaster flanked us on the way out, Bluestreak heading in the opposite direction of the rest of us. Blaster peeled off at the next corridor.

"What just happened?" I asked slowly.

"You slipped up, Decepticon."

I dug my heels hard into the floor. Tracks stopped, not because he couldn't pull me but probably because he didn't want to.

"I am _not_ a Decepticon! How dare you!"

"I have to admit, it was pretty clever. We'd never suspect a femme; too bad you're as dumb as a pump."

"What in the Pit are you talking about?" I tried to yank free of Tracks, but he only tightened his grip.

"Your lie. We all know Hot Rod. Kup raised him from a sparkling!"

He saw the realization strike me and took it for a confession. "That's what I thought."

"Look, I'm telling the truth! It's really complicated, but it's the truth. I'm not a Decepticon! Optimus and his men were practically the only friends I had on Earth. Mirage was my best friend, he told me about the time Hot Rod tried to shoot you while he was recharging. I would never-"

"Save it for Ultra Magnus," Tracks said. He yanked my arm as he started on his way again, and my only choice was to stumble along with him.

"I'm not lying," I whispered miserably.

Tracks ultimately took me a to the brig. I wasn't surprised to see Exo, Argent, and the others behind bars there. Tracks didn't leave me in a cell, however, just put me in a small room with a couple of chairs. Tracks motioned for me to sit in one, so I did. After he glared at me for a few moments, he leaned back against the wall to wait.

We didn't wait long. Perhaps a breem later a very tall blue, red and white mech stepped in the room with us.

"Opti-" I cut myself off. The similarity of this mech with Optimus was… striking. This mech was probably shorter, but he had the same carriage, a similar air of leadership.

"Blaster tells me we've allowed a spy into our midst."

"Looks that way," Tracks said coldly. "Caught her in a lie."

"I was not lying! It's a long story, but I'll tell it to you if you'll let me!"

Ultra Magnus raised one hand to me, asking for silence. "What lie, exactly?"

"She said she was Hot Rod's spark twin. None of us have ever heard anything about a twin, so Bluestreak went to get Kup."

Ultra Magnus nodded, crossing his arms. "I see." He looked to me, his expression stern but not threatening. "Were you coerced into collecting information? Did they threaten to harm you, or maybe your mate? Your sparkling?"

"I'm not collecting information. Honestly, I was hunting Cons with Devcon when that fragging imposter from the chop shop caught me."

"Why would you lie about Hot Rod?"

"I didn't. He really is my twin."

The door slid open again, and the camouflaged mech from before slipped in. The room was starting to feel very small.

"Hot Rod hasn't got a spark twin," Kup said without preamble.

"He didn't. But now he does. Please, let me explain!"

"Ultra Magnus, maybe she's being remotely controlled. It's possible, and she doesn't look like the type to join with Megatron and survive," Tracks said, his optics on me.

"I don't know what the frell is going on, but I don't like it," Kup grumbled.

"Thank you, Kup. I'll let you know if we need anything else."

Kup shrugged and left after giving me a hard stare.

"Tracks… thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'll take it from here."

"But sir, what-"

"You're dismissed, Tracks."

"Yes, sir."

Tracks left reluctantly, eying me on his way out. Pity mixed with irritation.

"Well. Let's not waste any time, shall we? You said you had a story to tell." Ultra Magnus took a chair, leaning back comfortably. He didn't look nervous at all, but then he was close to twice my size.

I looked down at my lap, took a deep intake, then told Ultra Magnus the whole story, from being rescued by Skywarp to my rerescue by Hot Rod and Bumblebee, the arrival of Mirage, being taken to Skywarp's base by Thundercracker, being healed under Skywarp's machine…

Ultra Magnus seemed confused. "I don't understand how he healed you. You can't just zap your frame back together."

Slag it all… I hadn't explained it, not yet. "Well… you see, I was organic. I was a species called Human. Born and raised. Barricade broke the bone in my arm, and Skywarp fixed it."

"I don't understand."

So I continued, to being rescued from Thundercracker and the Constructicons by Prowl, to finding the base occupied by the military, to the accident that set off the metal hiding in my arm. How Skywarp brought Perceptor to help, how Hot Rod bound his spark to me in order to save my life, and how he and Perceptor preserved my memories.

Ultra Magnus seemed skeptical. "I don't really know if that's all even… possible. I've never heard of it before. You were an organic female, and after Hot Rod, a mech, saved you with his own spark, you became a fully functioning femme?"

"Well… no. Not fully functioning."

"In what way?"

"I… I'm sterile, I guess you'd say. I can't form or carry a sparkling."

Ultra Magnus frowned. "I see."

My posture drew inward slightly as I sighed. Any desire he had to protect me before would be tested now. I wasn't really his kind, and I couldn't help the race.

"This certainly wasn't what I was expecting," Ultra Magnus finally admitted. "It's almost… well, too farfetched to be contrived. Come with me, please."

I stood up when Ultra Magnus did, following along behind him like a whipped dog. He didn't bother to check to see if I was behind him.

Tracks was waiting outside, and he fell in beside me. The hostility was gone, probably because Magnus didn't seem to be concerned.

Magnus took us back to the medical bay. Nobody said a word on the way.

First Aid looked up from his desk as we filed in, then stood up to meet us.

"How can I help you, Ultra Magnus?"

"I need you to corroborate some testimony, First Aid. Would you please examine our guest, Bravura's, spark?"

I stood up a little straighter in surprise. He was asking me to humiliate myself, really? But… First Aid had gone in and restored some of my systems. He must have seen it already.

"Oh… ok. What am I looking for, exactly?"

"Any, ah, irregularities that would prevent her carriage of a sparkling."

First Aid seemed bewildered, but he motioned me to an exam table. I went and stretched out without protest, even opening my chest for him. The mech bent over me and looked down at my spark, his expression sharp and penetrating. After a long, painful stretch of time he looked up and shook his head.

"It's true that her spark isn't what I'd call typical, but I don't know that she couldn't bear a sparkling."

"Ratchet said I couldn't," I said almost defensively. "When that sla- when Starscream saw it, when he was trying to capture me, he called me an abomination and let me go."

"Starscream is a Decepticon, not to mention prone to exaggeration," Ultra Magnus said almost to himself.

"He'd have to take quite a stretch to call her an abomination."

I frowned angrily, shutting my chest with a click and sitting up. Why couldn't he see what the others saw? Was he not a good medic? Was he too used to mech sparks? He didn't really see the oddity that was mine?

"Well, it doesn't exactly match your, ah, story…" Magnus began, "but it doesn't contradict it, not entirely." The Commander looked at Tracks. "She's not a spy."

Tracks nodded distractedly. He was looking at me, but I wouldn't make optic contact. He'd been so quick to turn on me, and now he was staring at me like I'd grown a second head.

"Where's Devcon?" I asked abruptly. I heard the whine in my words, but I really didn't care. I wanted my friend slash guard dog, and I wanted him now.

"He should arrive within the joor," Ultra Magnus said after a moment's thought.

"Wait a minute." Tracks looked up at his commander. "You can't really be sending her back with him."

"It's her choice, Tracks."

"But he can't take care of her. We had to save her from a wretched little chop shop. What if nobody's there to help her the next time? She's too valuable, sir!"

"Didn't you hear First Aid?" I asked irritably. "I'm not _typical._ As in, not valuable."

"I didn't say that!" First Aid corrected me swiftly. "I said you aren't what's generally expected, and it's _possible_ you're infertile, but frankly there's not much wrong with you!"

"Well Ratchet, _Optimus Prime_'s CMO, said I _was_ infertile."

First Aid crossed his arms, looking annoyed. "I spent much of my training under Ratchet, Bravura. If you're trying to imply that I'm incompetent-"

"Nobody would even suggest it," Ultra Magnus swiftly interposed.

First Aid nodded sharply.

I snorted and slid off the table. "Is there somewhere I can go to wait for Devcon?"

"She can stay in my quarters," Tracks offered.

I shot him a warning look, but he only smiled.

"Someone needs to keep an optic on her," Ultra Magnus said dismissively. "No offense, Bravura."

I shrugged and leaned on the table. "Is there a mech who will go to the training room with me? I could use the exercise." In other words, I wanted to blow off some steam.

"I'll go with you," Tracks said.

"You were just in the training room," I said quickly. I'd had enough of the winged mech.

"You can never get enough practice," Tracks said with a sly smile.

I sighed and looked to Ultra Magnus. "May I?"

The Commander nodded, so I looked to Tracks. "Lead the way."

* * *

Springer and Blades were training. And it was scary.

The room was big, big enough for Springer to live up to his name, apparently. The green mech was all over the large room, using double blades in each hand to chop holograms to bits. Blades wasn't quite as mobile, but he made up for it with what seemed to me like a madman's ferocity.

Tracks bumped into me when I halted in the doorway to stare at the two mechs. Tracks chuckled and nudged me on, then led me to the sidelines where a bench waited.

I sat down and stared at the mechs as they continued to tear up holograms. At one point Tracks nudged my chin playfully, so I snapped my mouth shut. These mechs seemed so nice, so friendly, so gentle. But they could turn into _this_.

Skywarp could turn into this. So could Hot Rod, and Mirage, and everyone else. Even Devcon, though his methods didn't usually call for it.

A hologram came within feet of us at one point, and Springer leapt across the room to slice it down the middle. It split apart and disappeared, leaving the grinning green mech to tower over us.

"Hey! You want to get in on the action, miss?"

I'd thought I did, but these boys were out of my league. I'd really look like a bunglebolt next to them.

"Go on," Tracks said. "Show us what you've got."

The other mechs were using blades, no guns, so I figured my lack of weapons systems wouldn't hurt me too badly. I stood up slowly and extended my knives, earning a crow of delight from Springer. Blades looked up from the hologram he was slicing to pieces and gave a whoop.

I stood there stupidly, looking at the several fierce looking holograms lurking around the training room. They were all bigger than me, more in Blades and Springer's league than my own, but I'd give it a shot. Springer was waiting for me, so I trotted into the training area.

A blue light flashed in the ceiling as soon as I crossed the white line, and two of the holograms looked at me. The closer one came at me quickly and I froze; a silver blade came between us, and then Springer was cutting the hologram down.

"Don't be scared, they're just holograms." He grinned at me and I nodded, then looked to the second hologram, which was stalking closer.

I made myself run at the big hologram, sliding to the side and flipping it to its back when it tried to punch me. I slashed my knives into its neck and the holograms faded away.

"Behind you!"

I whirled around and found a huge hologram practically on top of me, its red optics glowing convincingly. I dropped low and darted between its legs, grabbing its thigh and stabbing between its armor for the main tension line. It roared and fell to one side, slashing at me with one hand.

I found myself sliding out of the arena from the force of the blow. I stood up slowly, dazed, and Tracks was there in front of me, holding my shoulders and bending down to get optic contact.

"Are you ok? Hey, look at me."

I did, then smiled. "Quite a punch," I said, then twisted away from him and crossed back into the training arena. Blades had finished off the mech who'd punched me, so two new holograms were targeting me.

The rhythm of it soon came to me, and I was actually joining Springer into some double team moves; he'd come in and finish off a hologram I'd incapacitated, I'd leap off the back of his ankle to fight off a hologram coming in behind him. For some reason, I had no desire to try with Blades.

At one point Springer stopped me and pulled me to the side.

"Why aren't you using your thrusters? They're positioned just right for combat and stabilization."

"Thrusters? You mean, for flying?"

"Yeah. You can use them anytime, you know. See how I cover ground, what kind of advantage it gives me? You should do that with your thrusters. Keep 'em guessing, never stop moving. Just don't hit the ceiling."

I nodded, the new possibilities flooding me with excitement. "Thanks, Springer," I said, then ran with him back into the arena. For every one of his huge steps I needed three, but I kept up. When the next hologram came at me, instead of going around it at an angle I leapt over it with a quick burst of my thrusters.

I didn't quite hit the ceiling, but I did underestimate the power I'd given it coupled with my leap. I flew high over the hologram's head and landed halfway across the arena. I laughed at the agility I hadn't known I had, how dangerous it made me feel.

The hologram turned on me and I tried the maneuver again, flipping a little lower and landing just behind it. I twirled and leapt off the back of its knee, jamming my blades into the back of its neck before twisting backwards and landing on my feet again.

I felt unstoppable. Even when a hologram pinned me and I had to be rescued by Blades, I was ecstatic. Hot Rod was amazed and a little confused, but thrilled at my newfound confidence.

During the long training session his partner talked him into finishing their interface. Hot Rod was reluctant, tired, but soon he gave in and the first ripples of their intimacy washed over me.

I was able to fight it at first, but then took a hard hit from one hologram, and then another. The third blow knocked me down, and both Blades and Springer leapt to my aid. Blades picked me up while Springer went to the wall to shut off the training program.

"Wow, you just tanked there. You ok?" Blades cradled me bridle-style in his arms.

I nodded, distracted by the proximity of the battle-warmed chest I was being held against.

"We'll have First Aid take a look at you."

"What happened out there? Is she ok?"

"Yeah, just out of it I think," Blades said to a worried Tracks. "I'm going to take her to the repair bay just in case."

"No," I said, pushing against the invitingly powerful mech who was carrying me. "I'm fine, really."

"You don't seem fine."

"I can walk," I said grumpily. God damn it, Hot Rod! Way to rain on my fragging parade!

Blades set me down hesitantly as Springer clanked to our side of the big room. Standing wasn't difficult, but not giving Blades a caress before he straightened up was almost too hard to manage. I kept my hands to myself, fortunately.

This was getting ridiculous. Hot Rod had every right to what he was doing. I had to cope. Maybe… When was the next time I might get a chance to talk to a medic? Maybe I should ask First Aid? Besides, asking for his advice might help smooth over the little jab I'd made at his skills as a doctor.

"Maybe you're right," I said. "I think I should go see First Aid."

"You're sure you can walk?" Tracks moved up close beside me as if he wanted to lift me up himself.

"Of course I can. I'm tougher than I look."

It amused me that all three mechs came with me to the repair bay. Tracks made sure to be nearest me at all times, but that didn't surprise me. He'd gotten in Hot Rod's bubble, too.

First Aid almost seemed exasperated when all four of us came back into his repair bay. He got up and came to us warily.

"Yes?"

"Bravura took a few too many hits in the training room. Mind taking a look at her?" Springer asked.

"Actually, that's not what I wanted to ask you. It's kind of… um… private."

"Private?"

"As in… a femme related question."

I didn't miss the surprised look Blades and Springer exchanged.

"Oh! Right, out, soldiers," First Aid said quickly.

Those mechs wouldn't have run out faster if you'd lit their afts on fire.

"Come have a seat," First Aid said, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. It looked surprisingly comfortable for something you'd find on a military ship.

Sitting down, I decided that it wasn't as comfy as it looked. First Aid took his chair across the desk and looked at me expectantly.

"I, uh… I've been having a problem lately."

"Can you describe it to me?"

"Well… my spark twin has been, um… interfacing with someone. They're too far away to contact, and well… I need to know how to cope. It makes me want to- I mean, it's embarrassing!" I finished lamely.

"How very interesting… The only thing for it is to learn a coping method, or to find someone to interface with. I would say to ask Sunstreaker, our resident twin, how he manages, but he's actually having the same problem you are. He's still adjusting to being separated from Sideswipe."

I stared at the doctor. Sunstreaker was a twin? Hadn't he come in complaining about Sideswipe just moments after I woke up to Hot Rod interfacing…?

"**No way**," I hissed to myself. Not possible. Not in a million years.

"I need to talk to him," I said to First Aid quickly. "I think… I don't know! I just need to talk to him."

"He's probably not in a very good mood," First Aid warned.

"Yeah, well neither am I. My spark twin is going at it right _now_," I growled at the medic.

"I see. Well… Computer, where is Sunstreaker?"

"In his quarters," A dull, sexless voice said from the ceiling.

"Where are his quarters?" I asked urgently.

First reached his hand across the desk so I could take it. He sent me a map of the ship, with a small highlight where Sunstreaker's quarters were. Not far.

"Thanks, First Aid."

I jumped up and rushed out of there faster than the mechs had.

* * *

Sunstreaker wouldn't answer the door. I tried the pad, but it rejected me. I tried beating on the door, but he didn't answer. Finally I started yelling at it.

"Sunstreaker! This is Bravura, the fraglet! I know what your spark twin is doing _right now_. I know how you feel! I think he's with _my_ spark twin!"

The door slid open with a hiss, and a balefully beautiful Sunstreaker stood there, staring down at me.

"What the frag are you going on about?"

"Sideswipe is interfacing right now, isn't he?"

Sunstreaker growled. "That's none of your business, fraglet."

"But it _is_. He's interfacing with _my_ twin, and it's driving me up the slagging wall."

Sunstreaker's angered faded a little, but without warning he grabbed my arm and pulled me into his quarters.

It was at half lighting. The first thing that jumped to my attention was a small hologram on a narrow shelf. I crossed the small space to the hologram and picked it up. It showed Sunstreaker with a red mech, both exuding confidence.

"Is this Sideswipe?" I asked before Sunstreaker snatched the hologram and put it back.

"Yes. Who's your twin?"

"Hot Rod."

Sunstreaker scowled. "A mech is your twin."

"It's complicated, but yes. Do you know him?"

"No."

"Everyone else on this ship seems to."

"I haven't been with them long. I was assigned to this ship after my unit had to leave me behind for repairs."

Sunstreaker didn't seem ready to move, so I slipped around him and sat on his berth. "How do you cope?" I asked.

"Just have to ride it out. There's not much else you can do." He came and sat next to me, the haughty show suddenly melting away. He looked haggard, tired.

"Feels like they're having a pretty good time," I mumbled, leaning forward to cross my arms in my lap.

"This is nothing. If they decide to bond…"

"Worse?"

"A million times worse. Sideswipe bonded someone else once, a long time ago. The mech died in the war, but every fragging time they went at it was torture."

The groan that escaped me was a little strangled. Hot Rod was reaching his peak. I held my intakes as he fell over the edge. Glancing over at Sunstreaker, he was looking at the ceiling, his fists clenched. He was beautiful, really. Shiny, broad, nice color. He glanced down at me.

"Stop staring. Makes it worse." His optics went back to the ceiling.

Instead of looking at the increasingly attractive mech, I glared down at my feet. Damn it, Hot Rod.

Once Hot Rod was unconscious, I could focus again. Sunstreaker relaxed slightly next to me, but if he was anything like me he didn't feel much better. I was still at risk of jumping the next mech I stumbled across, not to mention the soldier sitting on the berth next to me.

"Well… it's nice to know somebody else is suffering with me," I grumbled.

Sunstreaker's laugh surprised me. "Strangely, you're right."

_You going to come say hi, kid?_

_Devcon?! You're here?_

_That's right. Ultra Magnus is already meeting me._

_Where are you? Main docking bay, right? I'll see you there._ I'd use the map First Aid had given me.

Sunstreaker seemed amused by my sudden distraction. "What is it?"

"My ride just got here. It's been nice sharing your misery, Sunstreaker."

Sunstreaker laughed again. "Get out of my quarters, fraglet."

Blaster passed me on my way to the docking bay.

"Blaster! Don't look at me like that, Ultra Magnus cleared me. Can you tell everyone I said bye? Devcon's here."

The red and yellow mech finally cracked a smile. "Sure, Bravura. I'm sorry to see you go."

Oddly, I was sorry to leave. These mechs were like a family and for a brief time I'd been part of it.

I hugged the soldier, then continued on my way at a half-run.

As soon as I saw Devcon's dark blue paint job I couldn't help but yelp his name. He turned to look at me just in time to catch me as I hurtled into him, wrapping him in a tight hug. His arms circled me protectively and his head ducked against my helm.

_Thought you were a goner, kid._

_Missed you too, Devcon.

* * *

R & R, lovelies!_


	10. Chapter 10

I know it's been a long time (busy busy) so I'm giving ya'll a present… So many of you keep begging to see our old buddy Skywarp that I feel I should let you have him. Just so there's no confusion, the main part is going to be Skywarp 3rd person (I kind of like the song Sunburn by Muse to back it up), and there will be a little blip of Bravura 1st person where you get all pissed at me. I warned you.

Oh, and chronology wise, Bravura's been traveling with Devvy for a long time. Remember, most of the chapters are orns apart, and there have been plenty of orns-apart hunts we haven't seen, so we're looking at months and months of bounty hunting/Seeker seeking.

* * *

He'd been thinking about the Screamer femme again. He'd almost started thinking of her as Little Starscream, but that was too close to Little Star.

It wasn't that he was _interested_ in the strange femme, but something about her kept demanding his thoughts. The set of her optics, maybe, or her voice… Aside from the painfully small alt mode the femme had been wearing, it was much the way he'd imagined his Little Star some day.

He still wondered if he shouldn't have kept trying to get a word in edgewise with that Autobot she'd flown to. He didn't think one mech was enough, but maybe that one was only scouting ahead of the others. Even if he was her only guard the Screamer femme was better off than most mechs, what with her superior speed. He'd keep an eye out for that ship, and for her, but there were others who needed him more.

He thoughtlessly slammed a fist into the mech he'd almost forgotten he'd pinned against the wall; the bot-fragger had something in the back that he was hiding, and Skywarp wanted to know what it was. He'd heard this was a trade hub for black market femmes, and he was going to find out if it was true.

How he just wanted to kill the idiot… But he'd made a promise to Optimus.

It wasn't the Prime he cared about. He cared about what She would think if he broke his treaty. He'd have to face her some day, when he felt like he'd redeemed himself a little. It was bad enough he'd left her surrounded by mechs, at least one of them dangerously close to her…

Oddly enough, he trusted Hot Rod to keep the other mechs, even that glitch Mirage, away from her. Not for his sake, but for hers. She barely understood what she was, much less what the rest of her kind was. She was blissfully unaware of what Skywarp was, but he wasn't sure if he was grateful for that or not.

The bot he was beating senseless was perfectly aware of how dangerous the Seeker could be, and when Skywarp began to twist his arm from his shoulder the miserable little trader spilled.

"They're not femmes! They're just droids with memristor processors! They're fakes!"

Skywarp dropped the trader in disgust.

"That wasn't so hard, now, was it?"

The trader didn't say anything, just crawled behind the counter.

"I'm going to check for sure," Skywarp said, as if he cared that the trader knew.

Skywarp turned sideways to get into the dark back room. Lights flicked on as he set off a motion detector. Lined up against the back wall were several pastel femmes, plugged into the wall and unresponsive.

No need to turn them on. He went to the first one in the row and opened her chest.

Sparkless. The trader was telling the truth.

Something wasn't right, though. He had a feeling, and he'd learned long ago to trust his instincts. He could almost sense something in the air; he'd been nearly as sensitive to that _wrong_ feeling as TC.

He turned sideways, forgetting about the droids entirely. All he saw was an empty wall, but the feeling grew stronger. This room wasn't big enough for the dimensions of the building.

He went to the wall and tapped it, listened.

There was a lot of space behind the wall.

Skywarp didn't even bother with finding the entrance; he simply slammed a fist into the thin metal wall until he tore a hole, then ripped it open so he could fit through.

Blue optics jumped out at him from the back corner. He adjusted his vision until he could make out the small huddled form of the femme.

She was light blue, thin. Not a flyer, but that was to be expected.

"Are you alright?" He asked the shaking femme.

She didn't respond. His eyes, he decided, or his entrance, had frightened her.

"I'm here to save you," he told her gently, trying to soften his deep voice.

"Please don't kill me," she whispered.

"I won't. I'm going to get you out of here, and then I'm going to find a safe place for you."

The femme seemed shocked, even dizzy, but she didn't try to get away from him when he helped her up. She actually clung to him.

"Did he sedate you?" Skywarp asked, suspicious of the pliant femme.

"Yes, just before you came…"

Skywarp caught himself before he could snarl. The trader had known he was coming? Who would have been able to supply him with that?

The Seeker led the trembling femme to the back room, leaving her just inside the door while he slid back to the front. The trader had crammed himself into a corner, but it didn't do him any good.

Skywarp fished for the trader under the counter, pulled him out and lifted him up.

"I'm not going to kill you," the Seeker said to the rat wriggling in his grip. "I'm going to make it so that you never want to see a femme again. When I come back, and I _will_ come back, you'd better be running a clean business. You understand?"

The trader nodded frantically, but it wasn't enough for Skywarp. He was too angry, too bitter… He reached up and in one quick yank ripped off the other mech's arm.

The trader screamed, then outright squealed when Skywarp threw him against the wall. The Seeker walked to the shrieking trader and stepped on the smaller mech's leg, crushing it beyond usefulness before returning to the back room. The way Skywarp saw it, he was keeping within the guidelines of spirit of the treaty; he wasn't hurting anybody who didn't deserve it, and as an added bonus he was protecting other femmes from a similar fate in the future.

The femme was scared, but she didn't run from him. He picked her up, just in case the sight of the screaming mech made her want to bolt, and carried her away from the cesspool he'd found her in.

* * *

Skywarp was tired; warping several times in quick succession was wearing him out. He'd have to get his hands on some energon if he kept it up, but he had to move fast if he wanted to catch the Autobot ship before they moved out of range. The femme was afraid to hang onto his tetrajet mode so he had to carry her in his arms, impairing his speed drastically.

It didn't give him any satisfaction that this was the first femme he'd found since he'd reached civilization. He'd worked ceaselessly, he'd broken codes to listen in on private transmissions, he'd scared the information out of mechs, he hadn't had a good recharge since he left… And yet saving this femme didn't soothe his guilt.

Holding the femme had reminded him of Little Star. She'd been so afraid in the air, had curled into his chest like she might become a part of it. It had increased his protectiveness of her every time, made him want to coddle her fears. If she'd been anyone else, it might have repelled him… But not her.

He knew he'd hurt her badly when he left, and it had weighed on him heavily ever since… He hadn't even said goodbye, but only because he was afraid that if she'd turned those optics on him, begged him to stay, said she _needed_ him, he might never leave.

Primus. It'd been nearly three years already. They would feel so long to her. They'd mean more than he could probably understand; it was a full tenth of her existence so far. What had happened since then? He knew the Autobots would protect her, but he wondered about the small things. Had she grown? Was she still wearing that blue car? Had she chosen the groundpounder upgrade after all? Was she learning a field, specializing in anything?

He'd always thought he'd break her of her fear of heights, but he'd left too soon. She'd probably never know what it was to fly because of him…

She might've looked like that Screamer femme, if she'd had the right upgrade and a few vorns to grow. He tried to tell himself that he wouldn't be gone that long; that by the time he went back she would have barely changed.

Skywarp tore apart the niggling fear that chewed at his certainty and discarded it. She wouldn't fall for some other mech. She was better than anything they could ever offer her. She was better than Skywarp, but he tried not to think about that.

He turned back to his old memories for consolation. He could remember so clearly the freshly shattered edges of her new Elise's windows glinting in the starlight. She had tried to protect him from his own brother, another Seeker. It would have been funny if it hadn't scared him so badly. She hadn't realized how close she'd come to death, but his spark had nearly sputtered out until he saw that Starscream had gone easy on her.

She'd fought for him, though. Before she'd even made up her mind to care about him.

And then she'd gotten into trouble for him, to be with him in the brig. Somehow she'd chosen him, a Decepticon and a murderer, that night. He'd never seen a moment of doubt in those trusting optics since. When she looked at him she was sure.

He couldn't bear to think about what had happened any later than that. It was why he was out here, working for the redemption he might never find. He had crimes to pay for, and until he did, he couldn't stand that innocent face turning up to look at him, couldn't stand that he wasn't good enough for her. That her trust in him had almost gotten her killed.

How could he protect her if he couldn't trust himself? Starscream knew all of the right buttons, all of the right lies… When he'd gone to confront Starscream, after… He'd seen that obsessive light in his brother's optics, felt it in his brother's spark.

All the time Starscream had been brutalizing the little femme, their bond had barely given away a glimmer of what he was doing. Starscream had been highly focused, but that was typical. Skywarp had started to worry when the mad rage had suddenly erupted in his brother, but Ramjet and Thrust had him holding up the main generator while they bolted it into place and he couldn't move.

He couldn't help replaying that day in his memory core, couldn't help the anger and helplessness he'd felt when he'd faced Starscream…

"_I want you to bring her back, Skywarp."_

"_No, Starscream."_

"_I said _bring her back!_"_

"_Why? So you can finish killing her? So you can make an experiment out of her? No!" _

_Skywarp stood up straight, took advantage of those few inches he had gained over his brother. Starscream didn't need the height, though. Somehow he still managed to look down at him._

"_Don't you realize that what her existence means? We could start a new generation, given enough time to solve the mystery of how she even exists! How long has it been since you actually saw a femme?"_

"_I just saw one. You almost killed her, Screamer."_

"_Don't call me that!"_

_His brother had tried to slap him, much the way Megatron used to push the Aerial Commander around, but Skywarp caught his hand and squeezed it._

"_I'm sick of listening to you, Starscream. Sick of you trying to take away everything that means something to me."_

"_It's for your own good!" Starscream wrenched his hand back and pressed close to Skywarp's chest. "You lose focus when you fall for them, brother! You lose sight of what we stand for."_

"_What do we stand for now? Megatron's dead. The Allspark is gone. No more ultimate energy source, no more easy glory. When did the war matter? When was it ever about power? Don't you remember when it was about our freedom, about breaking the chains?"_

"_Things change, Warp."_

"_You changed."_

"_And you're still the same stupid youngling TC and I had to bail out time and again! Megatron only liked you better because you were never mech enough to question him to his face!"_

_Skywarp winced. He'd never been crazy about Megatron's odd tendency to go easy on him, but he knew it had always been a sticking point for his abused brother._

_Starscream eased back, knowing he had the reins for now. _

"_You've always needed us, Warp. Thundercracker follows me. You really think the little monster you're in love with can replace us?"_

_Skywarp punched him. He hadn't meant to, honestly, but when he'd called her a monster, when he'd dared to suggest that he was somehow replacing them by… by caring about her…_

_Starscream stumbled back a few steps, his arms tensing and his fingers curling into claws. His rolled his jaw, then slashed back._

_Skywarp usually didn't have it in him to fight with everything he had during these rare fights for dominance. He was fine with Starscream winning, because afterwards it always left his brother feeling kind, benevolent even._

_Not this time, though. When he'd held the limp little femme in his arms, looked into those unfocused, confused optics as she tried to understand what was happening to her at the bottom of the ocean…_

_He was amazed she made it out alive, with her leg broken into pieces, hydraulics failing… The energon had been pooling around her along with the mud as it settled to the ocean floor, and he'd seen her looking down at it like she didn't know what it was. She'd been delirious, thought he was some Earth predator, a kind humans were intensely afraid of. How apt. _

_But he was stronger than Starscream. He'd always known, the same way Thundercracker had always known. Neither of them had the desire to lead the trine, however, and left the lust for power to their brother._

_This wasn't about dominance or leadership, however. This was about Starscream's callous nature, his penchant for destroying Skywarp's relationships, and his inability to do the right thing even when he had the best intentions…_

_Skywarp met his brother's slash and began the process of knocking the motherfragger down a peg._

The Seeker shuddered, glad the femme was in recharge. He'd questioned his own logic upon leaving, wondered if leaving Little Star on the same planet as Starscream was a bad idea, but he'd spoken to Optimus about it when she was with her brother.

_"What can I do for you, Skywarp?"_

_The politeness of the Prime had been difficult to get used to. After spending an entire war watching Megatron hold his grudges, the Autobot's willingness to forgive and forget was shocking at the very least._

_"I need to know something… concerning Bravura."_

Skywarp felt a sting in his spark, but couldn't stop himself from watching the memory. It would reaffirm his choices, justify them…

_"Go ahead."_

_"If I… leave Earth… will you and your men take her in again?"_

_Optimus seemed surprised. "I was under the impression you had feelings for her. Why leave her behind?"_

_Skywarp found it difficult to look the Prime in the eye; as a Seeker, he'd killed more than enough of the Autobot's men._

_"It's not safe for her to stay with me. My brothers… Starscream knows me, has always known how to get the upper hand over me… Optimus, sir, I'm afraid that if I stay she'll die."_

_Optimus gave Skywarp a long searching look, then nodded slowly._

_"Bravura will always have our protection. But… You do realize that she is only a fourth of a vorn old? That by leaving her, you will traumatize her? Humans develop strong attachments quickly. It's easy to forget, but she thinks like a human and she has little experience to lean on for strength."_

Ok, so not as reassuring as he'd hoped.

* * *

Skywarp powered up his emergency frequency. _Neutral flyer to any Autobots in range, come in. _No need to get them worked up over his name.

_Autobot Blaster to Neutral flyer. What is your emergency?_

_I have precious cargo that I wish to leave in your care. _

_What kind of cargo?_

_Cannot disclose on public frequency._

There was a long break in their communication, so long that he started to worry that they'd blown him off. Finally, the Autobot's voice crackled alive.

_Meet at the indicated rendezvous point. Our ship is heavily armed, so don't try anything._

_Of course not._ The Autobot was probably warning any Decepticons listening in more than he was the 'Neutral flyer.'

As soon as he could dump off this femme he could follow the next rumor, the next dead-end. So much misinformation, more than he could stand. If he were limited to a ship it would take him a half a vorn to check out even the few rumors he'd collected so far; as it was, it would take him another three or four of Bravura's years.

It hurt to think her name. He dialed up the coordinates to make another jump towards the rendezvous point the Autobot had sent him. It would take a couple more before he actually reached it, but he'd done worse to himself before. He'd be fine, so long as the Autobots didn't try to shoot him.

* * *

Devcon kept a light hand on my shoulder the entire time he thanked Ultra Magnus for helping me. Somehow Tracks appeared at the last second, just as Devcon was turning me towards the short bridge that attached his small ship to the Autobots'.

Tracks called to me, so I went back reluctantly. He trotted to me and gave me a casual hug, sending me a silent message as he did.

_It's not too late._

I shook my head wordlessly and started to turn back to Devcon, but Tracks grabbed my hand.

_We told Ultra Magnus what you said about the Allspark. We might go to that organic planet if we can scrape together a group to cover the sector for us while we're gone._ _We need coordinates._

I gave them to him and pulled away before he could say anything else. Why did everyone think I needed their help?

_Because you usually do,_ my LP gently reminded me.

I pushed past Devcon, glancing back long enough to see Blaster come running to Ultra Magnus. The two walked quickly away, leaving Tracks and a couple of mechs I hadn't met to see us off.

* * *

R & R lovelies. If you liked Skywarp let me know, Yuki Hikari's got me wanting to write a Hot Rod moment too :)


	11. Chapter 11

I just love Hot Rod. Maybe I'll corral a plot bunny or two and do a Roddy fic... til then, this is whatcha get :) Just to be rebellious, I'm making Sideswipe a red Lamborghini like he SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Hss.

* * *

Hot Rod left Sideswipe's quarters quietly. In another time or place he might have stayed, but not here. Aside from the possibility of someone walking in on them, the berth was simply too small. Bravura had barely fit on his, and she'd had no qualms about lying half on top of him and getting squished occasionally.

She was upset right now, and he knew he was the reason. She tried hard not to be angry with him, but she couldn't help it. He knew exactly what she was going through, and he would've stopped… But when Sideswipe came to him, said all the right things, made him feel understood, he just couldn't help it.

Frankly, after Bravura left he'd felt ostracized. Mirage had been furious, had actually blamed _him_ for running her off.

"_You're her twin! You're supposed to know what's going on in her head!"_

"_I know what she's feeling, you glitch! It's not the same thing! She seemed happy!"_

"_Then why did she run away? What did you _do?_"_

"_I did my best, ok?"_

"_Well she's gone now. She's all alone, and she doesn't have any clue what she's doing."_

_Hot Rod had nothing to say to that. Mirage was right; she was essentially walking into a deathtrap._

_Mirage had seethed for a while, then continued more calmly. "I thought you were alright. I thought you'd turned around since the last time I saw you. I was wrong. You're more irresponsible than ever."_

_That had been quite enough. "Oh, insults coming from the mech who treats everyone like dirt! You think you're so much better than the rest of us, like you're different from us!"_

"_I've changed, Hot Rod. I grew up. You haven't."_

"_I think the only reason you ever liked Bravura is because she was rich like you were once. You still hate us for what we are, don't you?"_

_Mirage had looked close to pushing him, but Prowl had appeared around the corner, pinning them both with a warning stare. Mirage had backed off and walked away, his usual elegance ruined by his stiff posture._

Sideswipe understood, though. He'd found out about Bravura from someone, and he'd come to Hot Rod one night on the Upper Deck.

_Sideswipe sat down next to Hot Rod. The smaller mech had looked over in surprise, then jerked his gaze away quickly. Sideswipe had intimidated him ever since his arrival._

"_I know what you're going through," the Lamborghini had said quietly. "I had to leave Sunstreaker behind, or he'd be here with me. It's hard being separated."_

"_At least you know Sunstreaker can take care of himself," Hot Rod had grumbled._

"_True. She's survived this long, she's probably going to be fine. Has she reached a populated sector yet?"_

"_Yes, for a while now. She's out of the emotionless… funk she was in. She scared me a lot, when she was alone… I'd forget about her, because she'd just feel whatever I was feeling. It was almost kind of creepy. But she's hopeful now."_

"_You can't keep worrying about her. It's out of your control."_

_Hot Rod had looked at the other red mech skeptically. "Why do you think I'm worried?"_

"_Because you avoid everyone. Because I see you alone like this all the time. You work extra shifts to try to keep from thinking about her. Everything reminds you of her, doesn't it?"_

_Hot Rod had been unnerved. "You've been watching me?"_

_Sideswipe had actually seemed a little embarrassed for a moment. "Well… it isn't every day you find someone who knows what it's like, having part of your spark halfway across the galaxy. Yeah, I guess I was watching you a little."_

_Hot Rod looked away quickly, out at the small slice of stars they could see from the wide glass wall._

"_If you ever… I don't know, need somebody to talk to," Sideswipe began quietly, reached up and put his hand on Hot Rod's shoulder. "You can talk to me about it."_

_Hot Rod had looked down at the large hand, then up at Sideswipe. "Thanks," he'd said noncommittally._

_Sideswipe had watched him, optics searching for something, then gotten up and left._

It hadn't taken long for Hot Rod to break down and go knocking at the twin's quarters. It'd taken even less time for their talks to evolve into something else.

Hot Rod didn't love Sideswipe. No, Hot Rod didn't have much of a thing for other mechs, but… this mech knew what he needed, and so they took advantage of their mutual loneliness.

The one thing Hot Rod didn't like about their understanding was making the walk of shame. Sideswipe always took them to his room, so the Vanquish was always the one who had to get up and go. It made him feel trashy, but it was so worth it at the time…

To think, he'd never have thought he needed it if he'd only had Bravura with him. She stabilized him, gave him an anchor… He would've given anything to spend just one night recharging with her, to feel their sparks synchronize as she snuggled against him. She was so peaceful when they were together. _He_ was at peace with her.

What if her running away really _was_ his fault?

Sideswipe said it wasn't; Sunstreaker was miserable more often than not, and no matter what he tried to do for the vain mech, he always slid back into negativity.

Hot Rod didn't like to think that Bravura might become the sad and angry one in their dynamic… She'd been happy once. He knew. He'd seen every human memory she'd ever made.

But she wasn't really human anymore, and that was enough to change anyone. He wondered at their bond sometimes… Sides said he'd never jumped into Sunstreaker's body, or vice versa, even though they'd both had multiple near death experiences.

Maybe he and his sister weren't true spark twins, but something similar. Sparks twins were supposed to be a single spark, split into two at the beginning… Bravura's spark had split from his, but it had happened later in a remarkable, wonderful accident.

Unnatural twins… He'd thought of themselves that way often before she'd even left, but she was so self-conscious about her imperfect spark that he'd been afraid to fan the flames by mentioning the idea to her.

He'd really thought she'd turned around after Bumblebee came. He'd believed that she'd developed an infatuation with the yellow mech, that her knew vigor and desire to learn and her happiness was a result of falling for Bee…

The thought of her and Bee had made him happy in a reluctant sort of way. He'd already come to terms with her choice in Skywarp, with the impossibility of the kind of relationship he'd wanted to have with her… But Bumblebee was so much better than Skywarp. The yellow mech was stuffy, obedient, military born and raised, but still better than a Decepticon. He was sweet, considerate, and caring, too.

Poor thing. She'd finally gotten out of her latest mess, as far as he could tell. The burst of relief she'd felt after a long period of imperfect contentment and even a little thrill made him believe she was back with whomever she'd taken up with from the start.

Probably the mech she'd been so guilty about interfacing with.

She loved him, whoever he was, but she didn't seem to realize it. Maybe not the intense and blind love she felt for Skywarp, but it was there, and he could only call it some sort of love.

She had hated the mysterious mech too, ever since the interface. She needed that mech, or she seemed to think she did… Apparently so much that she couldn't leave him. But every time Sideswipe lured Hot Rod back to his quarters, that hatred grew by the faintest of measures.

Hot Rod went to the Upper Deck, the one place in the base he felt like he could think clearly. Bravura had spent plenty of time up there with him, and sometimes Mirage would join them.

Before she ran away and after the two mechs had learned to trust each other, the three of them had made a good trio. She glued them together, and somehow he'd begun to think of the Elite as a friend.

That had changed when she ran away, of course. The accusation in every glare the Lexus shot him… Hot Rod didn't blame Mirage, but he knew he couldn't blame himself, either. It wasn't his fault…

Arcee, all three of her, was already there when he reached the top of the long stairs.

It hurt his spark to look at her. He'd known her before, back when he'd been under Kup's guardianship. She'd been a single, whole femme then. He'd thought she was beautiful, and she'd always had a soft spot for him, but now…

The blue tripartite looked back at him, while the other two continued to gaze out at the stars. He tended to address the blue one more than the others, mainly because her paintjob and size reminded him of Bravura.

"You ok?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah. Just thinking too much."

Hot Rod went and sat a few feet from the tiny blue femme, avoiding looking at her.

She was a little confusing to him. She was one person, but she had three bodies. She was a femme, and she wasn't. The horrible accident that had blown her into pieces, blown her spark to pieces, had disfigured her in much the same way Bravura's spark was disfigured.

She shouldn't be alive. He knew Arcee resented her existence now, but she hid it so well that it was easy to forget. She lived to take her revenge on Starscream and the rest of Decepticons…

Starscream wasn't really the main concern anymore, however. Megatron was alive again, and he was 'out for blood' as the humans said. The number of Decepticons on the planet was staggering, and they were outnumbering the Autobots.

In light of everything that had happened in the last few months, Hot Rod was almost glad Bravura had run away. Almost.

Optimus was doing his best to control the energy raids, the political attacks… Megatron had gone after the President of the United States in an attempt to get Optimus to surrender. They'd gotten the President back, but not without more than a few human casualties and the near loss of Ironhide.

"Arcee," Hot Rod said softly. "I… I have a question."

"Shoot."

He'd told Arcee about the interfacing in a freak burst of weakness, on a night much like this one, and had soon come to see her as a sort of confidante.

"Do you think I should stop interfacing with Sideswipe?"

All three Arcees turned their heads to look at him. "Are you having second thoughts?"

"Yes and no. It… doesn't bother me that much, really, but I hate doing it to Bravura. She's miserable all of the time because of me."

All but the blue Arcee looked away. "It's not about Bravura, is it?"

Hot Rod groaned and leaned over on his knees, propping up his chin on his arms. "I guess… I don't know! Sideswipe is just so… insensitive sometimes! He'll go from this thoughtful caring mech to cold and quiet."

"Right after interfacing?"

"Yeah."

All three Arcees hissed pityingly. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's using you."

Hot Rod lifted his head and glared at her. "It's not like that."

"Ok, don't believe me. But I've been there."

Hot Rod rested his head again. "What happened?"

"I just put up with it for a long time, until I met Springer. Things were a lot better after that."

"I liked that guy."

"Me too. I miss him…" The blue Arcee looked away, out at the stars again.

"Maybe he'll come here someday."

She shrugged and changed the subject. "As far as Sideswipe goes… If it's true that he's _not_ just using you, it might be because of how he grew up. His mother had to hide, carried her twins alone and died. They grew up with the Autobots just as things were getting really bad, so he never had a chance at normal relationships. Maybe he just doesn't know what to do, even though he means well."

"Bumblebee grew up in the army and he's just fine."

"Bumblebee grew up with Optimus and his chief officers. They have a much more balanced dynamic than most, in case you didn't notice."

She had a good point. The twins had been born into the war, something Hot Rod hadn't believed possible after the femme extermination.

In the last two hundred years or so rumors had started cropping up about femmes living as slaves and collectibles… Nobody put much faith in them, but if Arcee had managed to survive, maybe others had too.

Then again, if getting blown into three pieces didn't kill Arcee… maybe she wasn't exactly comparable to your average femme.

Bravura would like Arcee. If she'd only stayed six more months, she would've met her, and maybe having another femme to talk to would have helped his sister get over Skywarp. Arcee would've liked Bravura back, because the much younger femme would understand about losing an old life and living with a strange spark.

When Hot Rod didn't say anything for a while, Arcee spoke up again. "If it feels right, stay with Sideswipe. If it makes you feel bad afterwards, if it only makes things worse, then stop."

Hot Rod stared into the distance, not seeing anything. This was why talking to someone other than Sideswipe didn't always turn out so well. Aside from the seeming coldness of the other mech after interfacing the Vanquish really enjoyed the friendship he'd developed with Sides, but he couldn't help but feel guilty for Bravura. She had nobody to let out her frustrations on.

"If I stay with him, should we have a brother bond?" Hot Rod asked finally. "He mentioned it once, a few days ago."

All three Arcees looked at him. "Really?" they all asked, surprised. "That's a big step."

"I know. He wasn't serious, at least I don't think he was… Frag it all, I don't know, Arcee!"

To his surprise, the blue Arcee got up and rolled over to him, putting her hand on his leg. "You'll do what you feel is right, Hot Rod. You're a sweet kid, even if you don't always look before you leap. You've grown up a little, though, and that's saying something."

Hot Rod sighed and smiled weakly at the little tripartite. "Thanks, Arcee. For everything. I'm going to recharge, not much time left before the big mission."

She smiled and waved a little, going back to sit with her other two bodies.

As he walked down the stairs, Hot Rod didn't feel much better, but at least he didn't feel like a total jerk anymore. At least Arcee cared even if she didn't understand.

To his shock, Sideswipe was waiting outside his quarters.

"Sides?" Hot Rod said, turning the name into a question.

"Hot Rod."

"Did you forget something?" Hot Rod asked as he palmed the glowing pad next to his door.

"Yes, I did."

"What is-"

Hot Rod didn't get to finish what he was saying, because Sideswipe's lips cut him off as they pressed against his.

The initial surprise faded into delight and he kissed back slightly, letting the other red mech push him backwards into his quarters and towards his berth.

"What are you doing?" Hot Rod managed to squeeze out around the mech's lips.

"What do you _think_ I'm doing?" The Lamborghini asked playfully as he pushed Hot Rod down onto his berth.

"But we just- we have a mission tomorrow! Aren't you tired? Nnngh!"

Sideswipe ducked his head low and licked along a seam, erasing Hot Rod's protest.

Bravura was spitting mad now. He could practically hear her. _Again? __**Again?!**_

Sideswipe saw the momentary distraction in Hot Rod's optics and chuckled. "You should get a load of Sunny. He'd tear my head off if he could get a hold of me."

"But… you came to my quarters." Hot Rod couldn't quite get over the sudden change in character.

"Well… I was watching you, when you got up. You always look so miserable walking away, I guess I figure I owe it to you. So quit talking and show me what you've got," Sideswipe said smoothly as he ran a hand across Hot Rod's stomach.

Hot Rod couldn't help it, no matter how angry it made Bravura. Who could possibly resist _this?

* * *

*purrs*_ Yes, I shall definitely do a Roddy fic some day...


	12. Chapter 12

Yikes! Thanks, Morgan1yam, dandyparakeet and thundercracker76! I accidentally hit document number 12, not chapter 12 XD

A bit of a nod to the only G1 ep Devcon ever got, The Gambler.

Also, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed, it's great to see the feedback : )

And extra lovins for dixiegurl13 who isn't afraid of squishings, Dragon260 who is in a love/hate relationship with me, Yuki Hikari who makes fantastic dirty Sideswipe jokes, and Cybernetic Mango for being squeaky.

If you like music with your fanfics, Don't Stop by Innerpartysystem was the daddy of the arena scene.

* * *

Again? _Again?!_

He just interfaced! How could he be at it again? He should be dropping from exhaustion, not staying up and feeling guilty and then going for round two! How dare he?!

Way to ruin my happy little reunion, brother. Instead of sitting with Devcon and telling him all about it I just wanted to get out of that skimmer as quickly as possible, but I didn't want to hurt Devcon's feelings. As soon as he'd had the ship pull away and set it on course he'd come back to me where I sat on the berth and wrapped his arms around me.

"I really thought you were dead," he whispered into my helm after we'd quietly soaked up each other's company. "You cut off, and then nothing for so long… I took off after that Con, thinking it had taken you, but when I found him all he had was a load of energon and I had to backtrack to try and pick up a trail. Then you turned on your beacons…"

He leaned away and rubbed his hands up and down my arms, as if he were trying to confirm that I was indeed real. The surprise came went he leaned in and kissed me, a light nothing of a kiss, but in my own agitated state in was enough to set me on fire.

I jerked away so hard that I fell off the berth.

I'd hurt his feelings, I could tell that immediately. "I'm sorry," I gasped. "It's not you, I swear. It's my brother, he's still… I'm sorry," I repeated quietly.

"I shouldn't have done that," Devcon said simply, reaching out a hand to help me up. I took it, but as soon as I was on my feet he was crossing back to his chair at the console.

The berth rang when I slammed my fist down onto it. So what if Devcon heard? It was my fault, not his!

"Devcon," I said quietly. "Please don't be upset."

"I'm not," he said convincingly, not looking at me.

"Well… well I am." I crossed the ship and stood next to and slightly behind him, putting my hand on his shoulder.

Hot Rod was certainly taking his time with this interface. It's almost like he was _trying_ to tease me.

Devcon turned his head ever so slightly to look at my hand. "Don't worry about it, kid. I can handle it."

_I can't!_ I wanted to scream at him. _I can't handle it. I can't stand needing you!_

"I don't know what to do," I finally grumbled. "Every time he interfaces… Devcon, it's misery dipped in fire. I can't take it for much longer. If I… I might have to leave soon."

"Fine, go fly next to the skimmer like you always do."

My spark twisted. "That's not what I mean."

"I know." He looked up at me finally. "Was it that horrible for you?"

"What?" I said, not able to help the note of protest in my tone.

"Interfacing with me. Was it that horrible?"

"No! No, it was… It's wasn't horrible, Devcon. But someone's waiting for me," I whispered, hoping that what I was saying was true.

Devcon stood up quickly, staring down at me. "Were you running away from him, when you ran from Sol? If you love him so much why aren't you there with him now?"

My face twisted slightly, and he immediately wrapped me in a gentle hug.

"I'm sorry, shh. Don't cry. I didn't mean it."

I allowed myself one small pleasure, nuzzling against his chest for the physical comfort I so urgently craved. Devcon ran his hand down my back, one of his fingers just brushing the edge of my center wing.

He released me when I trembled, reaching up and running his fingers over the new scuff on my temple. "They sure got you good," he said, a tiny smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "How'd they catch you?"

"Fake femme," I said with a shrug. "I walked right into it."

"Why am I not surprised? You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, you know."

I laughed, dissipating the lingering sparkache Devcon's question had caused. Why wasn't I with my love? Because he abandoned me.

I hated to admit it, but the longer it took, the more I began to lose hope. I'd never find him. Space was just too _big_. I'd gotten one chance, and now I was out of luck. Maybe I should just go back to Earth, lay into Hot Rod for interfacing so damn much, then go do Bumblebee just to get back at him.

My hand very nearly leaped up and smacked me in the face of its own accord. What was I saying? I wouldn't go _do_ anyone… I loved Skywarp more than anything, enough to waste my life searching for him.

"I'm gonna go fly," I grumbled, leaning my face into Devcon's hand, which was still cradling the side of my face.

He looked disappointed, but he only nodded and took his hand back, sitting down and turning away.

"Please don't go far," I heard him murmur quietly, softly enough that I probably wasn't supposed to hear it.

_Maybe not this time,_ I kept myself from saying out loud.

* * *

_You got a visual? _I asked Devcon over our comm. link.

_Yes. What, too many for you to handle?_

I snorted to myself. _No! I just want you to watch. One of the Autobots on that ship gave me some tips, and I'm trying it out on the real deal._

_Am I here to save you when you mess up?_ Devcon sounded amused.

_You're here to be oh so proud of me when I make scrap out of all three of them._

_What are you waiting for? Go scrap 'em._

He sounded so skeptical! Ok, so those Cons were pretty big. They had a lot of guns. They moved like a team… but hey, I was good enough. Wasn't I?

I was perched on the peak of a sharp hill, one of many on the gray rock the Decepticons were camping on.

They were sitting in a loose triangle, talking. One of them was gesticulating angrily, and the other two were apparently rebuffing him.

I'd been busy while I waited on Devcon to catch up; I'd seen Mirage (or rather, hadn't seen him) go invisible before, so I knew it was possible. While I couldn't manage it myself, I could handle a pretty decent camouflage hologram.

I fed in the colors of the rocks around me, and used the hologram Mirage had given me to calculate color patterns and direct the much simpler hologram I'd built with Ratchet. I suspected my hologram problems were caused by the one I'd built, but I couldn't think of anything I could do about it.

Beginning the long and agonizingly slow process of slipping down the hill, I reflected on my relationship with Devcon. The last few orns had been awkward, mostly because Devcon knew I was like a bitch in heat , though I doubted he would use anything like those terms. He was on eggshells with me, which only served to fuel my frustration. I didn't want him to treat me differently! I wanted him to be gruff, to make fun of me and show how much he cared by drilling me on holograms and going too far from the skimmer…

Stealth was far from my forte, so I went as slowly as I could to try and make up for it. It was kind of cool to watch my hologram, trained to coat my body precisely, shift and blend like a chameleon or a cuttlefish.

Once my audio receptors could pick up the Decepticons' conversation I eased to a halt, trying to blend into the uneven rock of the ground.

"And tell me how that's supposed to help us find the others?"

"Who _wouldn't_ want to watch a femme fight an Animalien? Think about! The place will be packed!"

I pulled myself a little lower to the ground. Femme?

"Yeah, packed with organics! You know most of the arenas in Sheol don't take mechs."

"Gyconi's does."

"Even more of a reason not to go! Why the slag should we risk lighting up the radar of some Autobot coming to check out the femme?"

_Devcon, we need to talk after this,_ I sent, still motionless against the rock.

One of the Cons suddenly jerked, looked around wildly then settled pinkish-red optics on me.

He was a transmissions specialist! But how had he seen me? My optics! Son of slaggin' Cessna, my hologram couldn't cover my optics!

I immediately leaped to action, bursting from the ground with the powerful kick and boom of cold thrusters.

Shots flew past me, but the one that might have actually hit me was easy enough to twist around. I landed in the middle of their triangle, posed like a ninja in a bad martial arts movie just for the hell of it, then launched at the biggest mech.

As I flitted through, around, over and under the furious Cons, I couldn't help but remember a comparison I'd once made with Hot Rod and Barricade… A greyhound vs. a rottweiler.

I was a greyhound among rottweilers. They were strong and serious and they knew what they were doing, but I was fast and focused.

I couldn't do them much damage because of the whole bounty thing, so I simply teased them for as long as I cared to. Devcon was covering me, so the moment something might go wrong I'd be ok. This was all about practice.

I tipped one over by kicking into the back of his knee, but found myself with a gun point blank in my face. In a panic I simultaneously rolled and burst my thrusters. I didn't die.

Instead, I'd partially melted the light armor on the mech's supports. That was _something!_ Serious mech armor was as tough as nails and more.

Devcon apparently thought I'd had enough, because I saw a yellow flicker and heard one mech fall. I leapt away from the mech who was trying to smash with his giant bludgeon of an arm just as he went down too. The last mech was actually trying to run away when Devcon got him.

_Do you ever think your methods are kind of boring, Devcon?_

_No._

_They are._

_If by boring you mean fast, safe and effective, yes. They are._

_Eh._

I looked around for him, found him crouched just a few hundred feet from me.

_Sneaky, aren't you?_

_I had to be close enough to save your skinny aft._

_Overprotective much? _

I trotted over to his position, planning to carry him back to the skimmer.

_I've got to be when it comes to you._

I stopped in front of him, retracting my blades and putting my hands on my hips.

"Come on, I'm a vicious piece of raging metal. You know I am."

"You're a piece of something alright."

I grinned and went to lightly sock him, but he caught my hand. After he gave me a searching look he pulled me close. Our bodies clinked together and my cooling system immediately went from after battle cool-down to full blast. It'd been a few Earth days since Hot Rod had interfaced, but the weeks of putting up with being intensely attracted to Devcon had taken their toll.

I tilted my head back to try to read his expression, but it was blank. His fingers laced into mine, his other hand gently pressing against the small of my back, pulling me against him.

"Devcon?" I asked nervously.

"You're mercury out there," he said, his voice low and husky. "Liquid metal. You've never been formally trained. Right?"

I started to nod, then shook my head, then gave up and shrugged. "Why?"

"You don't move like a soldier. You rely on your speed to cover your mistakes."

How could he sound and act so sensuous when he was _criticizing_ me?

He leaned down, his lips dangerously close to mine, but he didn't kiss me.

"We need to go," I whispered. "Before the Star Trek guys show up."

"Star Trek?"

"Nothing. We need to go." I raised my voice at the last, trying to sound confident and in control.

He slowly released me and I stepped away, cooling system still buzzing wildly.

What the hell? The slagging fraggin freaking stinking hell?! He'd barely spoken to me for the entire trip here, and then _that_?

I leapt into the air and transformed, doing a tight twist to get within arm's reach of Devcon. He swung up onto me like a Cowboy, and I gave him a lift back to the skimmer. I didn't get in myself, but followed it away from the ugly rock.

Taking a look back at the rock, I could swear I saw a low-slung ship hovering over the place we'd left the Cons… But my vision seemed to flicker slightly, and I began to doubt I'd seen anything. There certainly wasn't anything there now.

* * *

At first I tried not to let myself get too hung up over Devcon's weird… moment. But I couldn't help it after a couple of joors and went back to the small ship, landing more or less smoothly as I transitioned from tetrajet to robot mode.

"We need to talk," I announced as soon as there was enough atmosphere to speak.

"What about?"

"That _thing_ back there!"

"What thing?"

I felt my fists clenching, so I stomped a little closer to the front of the ship.

"Would you at least look at me, Devcon? I know you're on autopilot!"

He sighed and twisted to look at me. "Well?"

"Why did you grab me like that?"

He didn't answer, just gave me one of his impassive stares.

"Well I'm letting you know right now that I'm not cool with it. Don't do that to me!"

Devcon sighed, dipping his head to rest his chin in his palm. At first I thought this was a sign that he was done when he only sat there for several long seconds, but then he asked "Why fight it?"

"Why fight it? Because it's not me! Because it's my body responding to a stimulus I can't control!"

Devcon jerked to his feet and crossed the space to me, stopping just inches from me. "You told me before that you don't even know if he loves you back," he growled.

"It's none of your business!" I screamed. The excessive volume hadn't been intentional, but I couldn't take it back now.

"I think you made it my business when you crawled into my lap, Bravura!"

The urge to hit him again was getting stronger by the second, so I backed away. He'd only overpower me, and besides, he was right.

"That was an accident," I snapped.

That hit home, I could tell. Our interfacing was an accident. His face barely changed, only hardened slightly, his fingers twitched…

Turning sharply, I walked back to the airlock and left again, shutting it behind me.

Other things were more important than a stupid spat with Devcon, such as the femme in Sheol, wherever that was. I'd go find out.

I went through my memory for outposts, bars, and colonies that we'd passed in the past… good God, ten months? It'd been ten months, nearly eleven, since I'd met Devcon?

There was a small colony not too far away, so I set a course for it. Never mind that I was temporarily running away from my only accessible friend.

* * *

I found myself making nice with an overenergized neutral who seemed to enjoy trying to get me to drink excessive amounts of high grade with him. He was so far gone that he didn't seem to notice that no mater how many times the cube met my lips, it was always full.

He was obviously into mechs. He'd have to be, to be even slightly interested in my unremarkable Spinner hologram.

His name was Microvolt, and he was extremely affectionate. He'd take my hand, lean close, whisper things I couldn't quite catch and smile sweetly. He wasn't very good looking, but he had all the charm turned on. I actually found myself really smiling at him more often than I was faking it.

I'd been buttering him up for a long time before I ever even mentioned Sheol.

"Have you ever been there?" I asked sweetly, trying to keep my voice low.

"Oh, yes. Wonderful gambling, several places that will let us in. I could take you there if you like," the mech said suggestively.

"Maybe," I said with what I hoped was a playful smile. I was itching to get in and get out, no matter how affable this poor mech was. "Where is it?"

He spouted off some coordinates, which I filed away for later.

"But really, never stay in one of their hotels; unless you're rich enough to spend a fortune and get it comped, you're likely to get cheated into working for the hotel just for getting a little room service!" Microvolt seemed to think this was enormously funny, and he burst into laughter.

Chuckling along seemed like a good idea, so I did.

Some sneaky mechs were starting to look at me from across the little walkway between the tightly packed buildings, so I decided I'd have to cut my little chat short.

"Microvolt? I'm sorry, but something's come up and I really have to go. Here, finish this for me?" I nudged my full energon cube towards him.

"Oh, but Spinner dear, you just got here! What's so important?"

"My employer is calling me," I lied easily. "I've got to go or I'll lose my job."

The yellow and green mech seemed truly disappointed. "Oh… ok. Do come back soon, dear, I had a good time."

He looked so crushed that once I was on my feet, I leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. Let that keep him going for a while.

He glowed and patted my cheek, so overenergized that he didn't notice his fingers disappearing slightly into my hologram.

He really was a sweet mech.

Before the scumbags across the street could bother me, I stepped into the tight alley and took off at a fast walk. They got up to follow me, but they didn't reach me before I found an intersection with enough clearance to leap skywards and fly away.

* * *

I did not like Sheol. It'd taken me half an orn to get to the colony where I'd gotten its coordinates, and another orn and half to get to Sheol. I didn't even know if the femme had been in the arena already.

It amazed me how much Cybertronians were treated like second-class citizens. You'd think amazingly long lived robots who could turn their body parts into deadly weapons would command a little more respect…

Even considering the unfair treatment my kind was getting, the worst part about Sheol was the smell. Organics stank; I'd been used to it back in Autobot City, or maybe humans just didn't stink that much, and I'd been too shocked to pay much mind to the general odor of the Space Station. I'd gotten so used to the faint and inoffensive metallic traces of mechs since then that the stink made me feel very humanly ill.

I stuck to asking other Cybertronians questions, since the organics generally looked down their nose at me, whether they were my height or only eight feet tall. They all had quite the attitude here.

It took a while, but I'd listened in on Devcon's information gathering several times, with his permission of course. He'd send me the audio, and I'd picked up enough to know not only how to find out where Gyconi's was without sounding suspicious, but also when the femme was going to be there.

Two more solar cycles, which on this particular rock meant thirty-six hours. I tracked down the arena, which was huge, used every credit Devcon had ever given me so that I could buy a ticket for the femme's show, then blasted up just out of the weak atmosphere to wait.

* * *

My audio processors were going to leap out of my head or shatter into a thousand little pieces, whichever came first.

The crowd in the arena was stifling. The stink made my processor swim, and the roar of the predominantly organic crowd was overwhelming. I desperately wanted to turn off half of my sensory equipment, but I decided I'd rather tough it out. If something or someone came at me I wanted to hear it coming.

Even getting to my seat at the edge of the arena was proving difficult. I was taller than man of the organics here, but I had to be careful with them, both because I felt I shouldn't hurt them and because I didn't want someone stepping into my stomach or shoulders and freaking out when they didn't hit solid metal.

When I'd been struggling with the press of sweating meatsacks (when did I start calling them that? What would Optimus think?) for at least a few breems I finally decided I'd been nice long enough. I was stronger than these oozing blobs, so I began to push my way through, shouldering between them and ignoring the shrieking protests and death glares when I bruised more than a few of them,

But what did I care? My own kind was going to be out there in that arena, and if it was anything like the arenas on my planet someone was going to die. I didn't know what an Animalien was, but I doubted it would look like a Care Bear. I shoved a smallish organic, ten feet tall or so, and forced my way passed it just as I broke into the wide open arena.

It reminded me of the Coliseum crossed with a Super Bowl stadium. It was huge, with a vast battlefield and sweeping seating from the very edge climbing high up and out. There was one large area at one end for special seating, but even as I watched a silvery holoveil was set up across it. Whoever was rich enough to afford that spot didn't want to be seen.

I'd paid dearly for a my Cybertronian-friendly seat on the edge, so I made my way to my spot. The arena was nearly as noisy as the walkways and tunnels leading into it.

The chairs were wide with reinforced metal, and there were only five of them. There were more at the very top of the arena, but they cost a frell of a lot less. Apparently I wasn't the only one who wanted a front row seat.

Three Decepticons were already there, and if I stuck to my seat I'd have to sit right next to one. I slowed, almost stopped, then squared my shoulders and took my seat, sitting square in the middle of the wide chair. They were not going to intimidate me.

They all leered at me, but I ignored them.

"Come to watch a femme get ripped up?" The nearest one hissed at me. "Sick neutral."

I looked at him coolly. "Why the slag are you here?"

He grinned. "Along for the ride."

"It'll be a ride alright," I grumbled, turning my attention back to the arena.

A small form caught my eye, having walked out into the causeway just before the veiled special seating. I zoomed in until I could make the little creature out; an ugly, wrinkled blob. His lipless mouth opened and his surprisingly resonant voice boomed in Common through the vast building.

"Welcome, friends! There is a treat tonight, an exciting match indeed! You all know those ugly metal creatures the Cybertronians, yes? Of course! We have obtained an especially rare Cybertronian for your viewing pleasure, yes! One of the last females of the species! The hope of the race, fighting here in this arena! Can she carry the weight on her shoulders, or will only the strong survive?!"

The crowd roared. I clenched my fists even as I maintained my casual pose. No need to call attention to my own racial background now.

I didn't hear the speaker describe the other contender, the Animalien. The Decepticons distracted me, whooping and hooting and making obnoxiously high pitched buzzing sounds.

"And now! What you've all been waiting for! Let the battle begin!"

The speaker disappeared into the privacy veil behind him, and the crowd reached its greatest intensity yet. I heard the clink of chains, and doors opening on opposite sides of the arena. I could only see into one of the doorways, but I could hear the mechanics of the other as it opened somewhere below my line of sight.

A shriek burst from the far entrance, followed by a huge scaly biped. It roared again, slashing at the air and stomping to the delight of the crowd. I wasn't watching the Animalien, I was leaning forward as far forward as I dared to see what was beneath me.

I saw the tip of her helm, then her shoulders… then all of her. Lavender, slim build. She would be graceful, if not for the fact that she was being forced out into the arena by something like a cattle prod.

She turned to look back the way she came, and I knew. She was real. She was real, and if she had weapons they were insubstantial. That screaming beast would tear her to pieces.

I tried to jerk to my feet, but surprisingly enough the Decepticon grabbed me and slammed me back into my seat.

"Don't do it. Not worth it."

"But that's a femme! How can you just sit there?" I snarled, wheeling on the Decepticon. He gave me a look that made me feel ridiculously stupid.

"And how, Mr. Hero, do you know it's even a real femme?"

"What?" I jerked back. "A fake?"

He nodded. "Could be. What a glitch… You jam your processor or something?"

I looked away sharply, watching the femme slowly step away from the walls to escape the prods. The Animalien was watching her, saliva falling in huge opaque dollops from its jowls. My systems were humming with the need to act. She needed my help, and for once I had the firepower to be the one doing the rescuing. What if she was real?

The Animalien was circling her, making a disgusting slurping sound and licking its floppy chops. The femme was bewildered, looking around as if she couldn't understand what was happening. She took a step back, away from the monster, and it made a fake lunge.

She threw up her arms and fell backwards, the crowd shrieking with laughter. After a sparkstopping moment she got back up. The terror in her face, in her posture, I felt it like my own. I'd been where she was now: trapped, beaten, abused and taken advantage of. Someone had always saved me. She needed me to save her.

The Animalien made a sucking chuckling sort of noise in its throat, then leapt at her for real. It struck her with a wet slap, and all she did was try to cover her face.

"Fight back," I whispered. "Run. Do something!"

The Decepticon was still holding onto me. Thank Primus his optics were trained on the arena, or he'd see that his hand was disappearing into my shoulder.

She was screaming. The beast was taking its time, pulling at her arm. Her squeals of pain cut off abruptly when he pulled her arm free of her body and tossed it across the arena with a spray of bright energon.

A human piece of me rose up and made me go through the motions of gagging. This wasn't a fight at all. It was a slaughter to get the bloodlust going in the mad crowd, to fuel them for the next fight. She was bait.

Hot Rod was fighting. I'd been so absorbed in my own problems that I'd failed to notice it, but as my emotions synchronized with his my spark rang slightly. We were both angry, both feeling the urge to protect. I bolstered him, and in turn he lifted me up with him.

The monster was working on her other arm when I felt something different rise up in me. I didn't recognize it at first, but it boiled up from my chest into my arms and down into my legs. My thrusters began to hum, scorching the chair I sat in. The Con's grip became a vice, but not even he could stop me now.

Rage gave me new strength, and rage made me break free of the mech, leaping into the air and bursting my thrusters so that I flew through the air in a controlled flip. I landed perfectly, just feet from the Animalien, and shot it in the head with my laser cannon. It dropped like the meatsack it was.

I shoved the beast off of the moaning femme, hearing the outrage build all around me in the arena. I could get her out of here. I had to save her. Lackeys were already filling the stadium, guns trained on me. I powered up my plasma gun and it joined my laser, pointing them in opposite directions.

"Get up!" I screamed down at the femme over the noise of the crowd.

She stared up at me stupidly. She looked drugged.

"Up!" I repeated.

She reached out and grabbed my leg with her remaining arm, using me to pull herself upright. She clung to me helplessly.

"What is this!!!" The Speaker's magnified voice boomed across the stadium. "Who dares interfere with the match?"

"I do!" I screamed at the Speaker's small form. "My name is Br… Spinner, and you have no right to this femme!"

"But I do, Bruh-spinner. My master paid dearly for her, and by shooting down the rare Animalien, you've sealed your own fate as well! You belong to the arena!"

I laughed harshly, the sound reminding me of Starscream on a poorly lit street…

"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. You, however, have abused your rights." I hooked an arm around the femme when she began to slide back to the ground. She was disappearing into my hologram, but it couldn't be helped. "I'll be going now."

My optics were on the Speaker, which is why I didn't see the huge form come out of the privacy hologram behind him until it was almost completely free of it.

Red optics drilled into mine. Wings, bird's legs, weapons… A Decepticon wearing a tetrajet. Different from Skywarp and his brothers, though. He was wearing some kind of headpiece, reminding me of the Pope's hat…

I hefted the now dead weight of the femme. She was unconscious. I glanced down at her, and in that moment the big Decepticon leapt down into the arena.

"Seeker!" Someone shrieked in common. Soon the entire arena had taken up the call. I wondered if they were running, or if they were stupid enough to stick around and watch.

"Why, oh _why_, would you save that femme?" The Seeker asked as he crossed the vast arena, his silky voice passing easily under the din of the organics.

"Why wouldn't I?" I asked, dodging the question. My mind was racing; I hadn't counted on someone faster than me being here. What was I going to do? What I wouldn't give for Devcon right now!

"How do you know she's real?" He asked, his tone patronizing. The closer he got, the more my spark clenched, the more I had to fight a shiver. I was scared.

He took a deep intake, stopping only twenty or thirty feet from me. "Mmm… I smell your fear… It's delicious. But not what I expected, no… You're not what you appear to be. Are you?"

I took a step away, my gun quivering unsteadily. "I d-don't know what you're talking about." _Run! Run!_ I couldn't think through the terror. Oh Primus, what had I done? I didn't want to die!

"I smell a femme's fear," he said with a cruel sneer. "So light and flighty. You wanted to save the other femme, hmm?"

"You must smell her," I said, my optics darting around for a way out.

"I only smell one little bot, and you're it. Maybe I should let them tear you apart instead of that useless droid."

Droid? I looked down, disbelieving. No…

Hot Rod was apparently feeling the effects of my terror. He was growing uncertain, he was hurting. How badly was he hurt? My whole body cramped with the intensity of it, and I only felt it in my spark…

"Put it down," The Seeker said softly. "Put it down, and I'll let you leave here alive."

That was all? Just put down the useless droid and walk away?

"Prove she's not real," I said, shivering.

"Give it to me." He held out one long arm.

The crowd was silent. I took a brief look around, saw that they were still there. Stupid organics! He was a Seeker! He could kill them all! Hell, I could kill them all and I didn't even have a quarter of his firepower!

I wavered suddenly. Hot Rod was in trouble. Real trouble, not the usual trouble. The terror was like a living thing, coiling around me and weighing me down. I'd never been this scared in my life, and I didn't even know why I was scared. I'd faced Skywarp with a more or less cool head before I'd even known who it was. Why lose it now?

The Decepticon stepped forward and took the unconscious femme from me since I was too paralyzed to actively give her too him. Before my eyes he opened her chassis, revealing an empty case. Fake.

Hot Rod was failing. He was… dying? He thought he was dying! No!

I shook my head, trying to clear it of the fear. I couldn't lose him! I couldn't live without Hot Rod! I stumbled forward, my hands coming up as if to reach for the Seeker as my mind reached further, reached down into my spark and through it.

I felt a sucking, a slipping, and then I was in blackness. It felt almost like teleporting with Skywarp… and then I was staring up at a blue sky, little puffy white clouds floating high above. I hadn't seen a blue sky in such a long time, but the beauty was marred by pillars of black smoke rising up all around me.

I felt something familiar, but it was slipping away. Hot Rod! I mentally dove into the depths of his spark and hooked myself into his life force, pulled it back up out of the darkness it was falling into. His essence shivered, became more aware.

_Bravura?_

_Yes! Yes, it's me! You can't go, I won't let you!_

_I was stupid… Should never have tried to take him on…_

_Who?_

_Megatron._

_Megatron? Don't be silly, Megatron is dead!_

_No, the Constucticons got their claws on an Allspark shard… they used it to bring him back. He's stronger than ever._

It only took an instant for us to share this. Our sparks were intertwined, mine firmly wrapped around his and holding it up.

_Where are we?_

_Close to DC. Prime tried to get us further out, but… _

"Hot Rod! Primus, Hot Rod!"

A red mech appeared in our periphery, lowered down to his knees and took our face in his hands.

"You're alive. You don't look so good. Don't die on me, Hot Rod!"

_Sideswipe,_ Hot Rod supplied.

_Oh. Sunstreaker's twin. _

_You know about Sunstreaker?_

_I _met_ Sunstreaker. He wasn't very nice. Misunderstood, I think._

_You must've been two peas in a pod, _Hot Rod joked. I mentally nuzzled against my brother, the Earth saying and his perpetual 'bright side' attitude doing more for me than three cubes of high grade could've ever done.

_Is your body safe?_ He asked suddenly.

My body? What- oh slag!

_No! No, it's not! Slag it all, the Seeker!_

_Seeker?! What Seeker?_

_I don't know!_

_Let me see!_

I gave him my memories, and he groaned.

_Conehead. Ramjet and Thrust are here, so it must be Dirge. It would explain the fear. He can control it._

_That's impossible._

_So are giant alien robots, right?_

Our minds were racing together so rapidly hat Sideswipe didn't even know we'd had an entire conversation while he waited for us, or rather just Hot Rod, to respond.

"Not going anywhere," I said through Hot Rod. "Don't feel so good, though."

"You need Ratchet," Sideswipe said, looking up and around. We heard a boom and a roar, some clashing in the distance.

_You have to go back, Bravura._

_I'm _not_ leaving you!_

_Funny you say that now._ The bitterness he suddenly felt stung.

_You know I wasn't leaving you, I was trying to find him…_

_You left me! You left all of us!_

_I'm sorry!_

His anger dwindled suddenly.

_I know you are. I love you._

_I love you, too. And I'm not leaving you._

_Goodbye, Bravura._

He pushed. At first my will beat his, and he couldn't dislodge me. But then he gathered himself and all his strength and _pushed._

I gasped awake in my own body after a flash of the void. I was being held against a hot chest, thin atmosphere whistling in my audio receptors.

"Well that was strange," the silky voice of the Seeker, Dirge, said above me. "What happened to you?"

The fear was gone. He could control it, Hot Rod had said... So, he didn't care to make me scared anymore.

"Out of body experience," I said, my voice muffled against him. My own natural fear began to stir. Where was he taking me?

"I'm not going to kill you, as delicious as your panic is."

"Then why are you taking me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He said mockingly, repeating my own excuse in the arena.

Hot Rod was alive, at least. He wasn't falling into the void anymore. Sideswipe was helping him. Who was going to help me?

* * *

R & R lovelies!


	13. Chapter 13

Ok, if you all hate me, you can blame HoneyAndSulphur for it. When somebody demands smut, even nonconsensual, between Bravura and Dirge... let's just say I'm a sucker for smut demands. They're just so naughty! :D

Therefore I'm giving the usual speech; if you are underage, don't read the dirty part. Magically know when to skip it, distract yourself with a fruit roll-up, then read on. Everyone else, it's not pleasant and it wasn't very fun to write, but it was definitely an interesting experiment for me. Don't wanna write no mo' unless it's HAPPY.

* * *

Dirge was not alone. Those three mechs in the arena had been with him, 'along for the ride' as the Decepticon next to me had explained. I found out quickly enough that he was called Dreadwind, and that the other two were Darkwing and Slugslinger. They were big for mechs, all three over twenty feet tall, but still smaller than Dirge.

They made me fly with them. At first I tried to break away and run but the mean one, Slugslinger, caught me and gave such a heavy blow to the nose of my alt mode that I'd cut my thrusters, dazed as the pain rang through my poorly fitting tetrajet. Dirge had wrapped me in fear for a while after that as punishment.

I tended to stick closer to Dreadwind than the others, simply because he'd seemed to give a damn about me before the mess in the arena. He didn't like it, tried to intimidate me several times by nearly smacking into me, but I didn't care. With Dirge's fear curling around me I wasn't strong. I needed someone to look to.

_Skywarp, help me,_ I prayed into the darkness of space.

They stopped at an abandoned station after several grueling solar cycles. Their traveling speed was a bit faster than mine, and I was hard pressed to keep up. As soon as we landed and transformed I dropped to the deck, shivering slightly with exhaustion. Dirge wasn't scaring me now, but I knew he could at any moment.

Dirge stood over me while the other three slipped into the dark station with orders to look for energon stored away. He didn't seem to expect much.

Once they were gone, his optics swept down on me. He hadn't said anything to me since we'd met up with his cohorts, so it startled me when he spoke.

"Not as tough as you wanted us to think."

I looked up at him angrily then pulled myself slowly to my feet. He was twice my height and many times my bulk, just like Skywarp, but I wasn't about to let go of my last shred of dignity yet.

"What are you going to do with me?" I asked the question, but I didn't really want the answer.

"Want a demonstration?" He purred, leaning down slightly. His power, the fear, leaked into me and I trembled under his heavy gaze. He reached for me and I jerked backwards several steps, my motor skills suffering as my circuits silently shrieked.

An evil grin took over his features and he snatched for me again. I threw myself backwards and to the ground to avoid him, but then his hands were on me, pressing me down.

"Please!" I whimpered. The touch seemed to intensify his control over me, made me want to start screaming and never stop.

"Please what?" He said, leaning low over me.

"Please _stop!_" My voice broke, but two sharp fingers caressed my cheek as if to comfort me, though the fear was as strong as ever.

"Don't you like it? Isn't it enthralling?"

I shook my head sharply, the panicked noises escaping me preventing me from speaking.

"What if I told you I'd let you run?"

Run?

My senses came together enough for me to look him in the optic. "Why?"

"Because I want to _chase _you."

My chest heaved as my spark pulsed. I was so afraid that I couldn't even feel Hot Rod anymore.

"L-let me go," I whispered.

"What was that?" He said mockingly. "What did the little femme say?"

"Let me g-go!" I said, louder.

"Beg," he hissed.

"I'm begging you!" I screamed instantly. "Please just let me go!"

He seemed to take a dark delight in my screams. He lifted his hands from me, sat back.

"Run. I'll even give you a headstart."

I fumbled to my feet and jerked into the air, my thrusters struggling to a start before they pushed me away from the Seeker and through the atmospheric generator's field.

Run run run! Faster! Faster!

At first the terror abated and I was able to think a little straighter. I couldn't outrun him. I needed help. I needed a lot of help.

I activated my comm. suite just as the fear started returning. He was coming. I poured everything I had into my thrusters as I activated every channel I'd ever used, including the Decepticon frequency Thundercracker had given me.

_Help me! __**Please**__, he's right on top of me! I'm at-_

Something caught onto my right and top wings and twisted viciously. I screamed into the comm. and it shut off automatically.

He wrenched my wings again and I tried to transform, to try and fight back. He managed to hang on to me despite the shifting of my body and as soon as I was in my robot mode he slapped me in the face with his huge hand. My neck wrenched and I felt something snap, but it wasn't too bad. Though delirious, I tried to look at him.

_Against the rules,_ he growled through our contact.

_I won't play,_ I said defiantly. I would fight, but I would _never_ play his game.

_Too bad. Good thing I don't care if you want to or not._

I heard it in his voice, and everything in me went into a frenzy. He was going to rape me! I started thrashing, kicking, shrieking silently into space, but soon he held both my hands in one hand and both feet in the other.

_You will be still._

_**No!**_

He let go of my feet to bludgeon me over the head once, twice, a third time. I lost track of what was happening for a moment, went limp.

_That's better._

His hands ran over my chest, found the locking mechanism.

A wild animal rose up in me and I tried to bite him, tried to beat against him with my forehead, anything, but he only held me out slightly until I was too tired to continue. The manufactured fear was gone, I suddenly realized. The terror was all my own.

He was waiting for me to notice. As soon as I looked up into his optics in surprise he gave me that evil grin_. I want to smell your fear. So sweet… I can almost taste it._

He dipped his face down to my neck and bit sharply, then ran his glossa over the dented plating. I screamed, but the sound was swallowed by space.

The locking mechanism in my chest clicked as he released it, exposing my spark chamber to the icy void. I started yanking away from him again, but another blow to the head left me stiff and helpless. I couldn't escape.

_Despair!_ He crowed into my mind. _Yes, it's hopeless isn't it, femme?_

My whole body heaved with a sob. What could I do that I hadn't done already?

His fingers disappeared into my spark chamber. I felt them stroking on the edges, dipping close to where my spark pulsed frantically. His finger got too close and I felt an intense pain, a burn that made me try to arch away from him.

_Skywarp, help me!_ I shrieked on the Decepticon frequency.

Dirge withdrew his hand from my chest and replaced it with a cable. In moments he'd plugged into me, and in a few more he'd disabled my comm. suite, but not before I'd pulsed out most of my coordinates.

He was still holding onto my hands behind my back, but he was able to use his free hand to open his own chest plating.

His spark, bright blue and strong against the darkness, seemed to jump with anticipation as he pulled my body towards his.

I shook my head frantically, writhing with voiceless sobs. Not him. Not Dirge.

His spark clashed against mine, blinding me in a mind absorbing sensation that I'd only briefly felt once before, within minutes of waking up into my metal body. The sensation didn't stop, though. It went on and on.

This was different from Hot Rod. There was a twisted sort of pleasure in it, but my spark was fighting desperately against his, sending razors of pain through me. I could hear Dirge laughing through our connection and I was screaming back, but I couldn't make myself stop.

After an eternity the pressure began to build. The unhealthy gratification I got out of the connection increased, but so did the pain, and soon I couldn't differentiate the two.

For a moment it felt like my spark was about to slide away from me, to let his replace it, but instead they only pulsed together with increasingly intense pleasure/pain until it burst through me and knocked me unconscious in a tidal wave of energy.

I woke up lying on the deck of the station. I ached all over, my energy levels were dangerously low and Darkwing was staring at me.

He scowled when I glared at him, but he didn't look away. I eased myself up slowly, sitting on the cold metal. My spark stung painfully and my neck felt like it had a spike imbedded in it.

I could feel Hot Rod again. I reached through our connection, desperately trying to escape myself, but I couldn't find the way through. I was trapped.

"She's awake, Dirge," Darkwing called grudgingly.

I trembled where I sat. This was all a terrible nightmare, and I would wake up flying next to the skimmer…

_You don't dream,_ my LP said. It sound nearly as mournful as I was.

The shock of his heavy supports as they struck the deck from deeper within the station shot through me like bullets. He stopped just behind me.

"Tired, are we?"

I didn't turn to look at him.

"If you ask nicely, I'll give you this energon."

I hunkered down slightly. I didn't want it. I'd starve myself of energy before I begged again.

"Just give it to her, Dirge. I want a round too."

I looked up at Darkwing sharply. He wasn't going to touch me.

"Fine, fine." Dirge's hand passed into my range of sight and set the nearly empty cube next to me.

"Drink it," He commanded.

"No." I straightened up, twisting to look up at the cruel red eyes.

"Drink it, or we'll force you to drink it. Your choice."

He saw me weigh out those two options and smiled almost kindly when I lifted the cube to my lips.

"Good little femme."

I drained it rapidly, trying to calculate how much energy it would get me. Enough to run? Not as fast as they could. Fight, maybe. I could get one, maybe two before Dirge stopped me. I couldn't fight Dirge.

Aside from taking out my comm. Dirge had failed to shut down anything else. I still had my plasma gun, and I still had the laser cannon latched under my wings.

He was an idiot under all of that cruel command. He'd regret underestimating me.

I put down the cube then stared down Darkwing, who was still watching me. He would be my first target.

While I waited for my energy levels to start rising, I tried to take some of the courage Hot Rod was offering me. He knew exactly what had happened to me, what I was reliving. He'd seen it all in my memories.

I reached up to my chest where my spark pulsed weakly underneath. I'd had enough.

* * *

After about a half a joor my energon levels were low, but better than they were before, and they'd keep rising. I didn't have any patience left and by the look of things neither did Darkwing. He got up slowly, began to walk towards me, and I mirrored him.

We approached each other, but something in my optics or my stance warned him that I wasn't coming to let him ravish me. He slowed, flexed his fingers as if he was getting ready for a tough job.

"This can go two ways," I said softly to him. "You can let me run, and not tell anyone until I'm far away. Or you can try to do what Dirge did, and I'll kill you."

He frowned. "You can't kill me."

"I can. I have before, and I'll do it again if you get in my way."

He smirked and started for me again. I waited for him, my stance falling into familiar aikido readiness.

Wait, react, move with him… He reached for me like lightning, but I flicked his hand away and stepped around him slightly. He growled and grabbed at me again, harder. It still didn't have enough weight in it, so I deflected him once again.

That got him. He tried to backhand me, and that's when I used his own power to flip him onto his back. It didn't work quite right since his body mechanics were off, but he was more or less down.

I extended my knives and lunged at him, getting a good stab into his collar before he threw me away from him. I let myself roll loosely on the floor, then jumped back to my feet again.

He was mad now. _Get yourself good and mad,_ I thought to myself. _Get stupid. Hit me._

"Hit me!" I hissed out loud.

He complied, strangely quiet. It was almost like he didn't want to draw attention to our little scuffle.

A harsh smile pulled my face into something gruesome. He didn't want anyone to see him having trouble with the femme.

The hand, balled into a fist, aimed for my face. Instead, in a series of twists and clangs as our feet touched the metal, I got the much bigger mech on his knees with his arm cranked over his head. Then I stabbed him in the armpit repeatedly.

He roared that time. They would be coming now. I dove in to stab him in the neck when someone hit me in the back of the head, knocking me away from Darkwing.

Dreadwind stood over me, optics narrow. He was pissed.

I was about to jump to my feet when there was a boom, and every bit of dust and dirt in the open room whipped into the air.

I peered through the soft cloud, still able to see Dreadwind. I heard a growl, but this growl wasn't what I'd been expecting. It sounded like boulders cracking together as they ripped down a canyon.

My spark exploded with hope. He'd heard me, and he'd found me.

"Skywarp!" I screamed into the dust, saw optics dimmed a muddy chestnut in the dust turn to me.

"I'll take care of them. You run." His voice was more perfect than I'd ever imagined in the last three years.

I got to my feet, the back of my head aching. "When this is over, find me," I told him quickly, frantically.

He stared at me then turned away as another pair of red optics approached him.

"Ok! Just run, Screamer," he snapped at me just as the other mech attacked him.

His voice was like water to my parched soul. I could face anything if it meant I'd hear that voice again.

He'd told me to run, and so I would. I jumped into the air and transformed, burned my thrusters and got away from there as fast as I possibly could.

* * *

Short, but that's mostly because I'm trying to decide if my next plan is gonna work. I'm all pumped tho, so soon we'll see what happens next!


	14. Chapter 14

Big thanks to Carmilla DeWinter for being extremely patient with my silliness : )

I'm actually surprised I didn't get a complaint (yet) about the last chapter… I don't think I've ever been more unsure about posting a chapter… Ok, yeah, I have been, back when I turned Brav into a rock em sock em robot… But I've slept since then.

So… onwards we go. This is the last big crazy mess Brav's going to get herself in, and then things will be very quiet, more like how the first story, FI, rolled, with fluffiness and characters just talking and learning and more fluff.. And then it will get crazy again. But not for a while.

Some music contributed very much to the making of this chapter: Get Out Alive by Three Days Grace is kind of the grandpa of the fight scene, and Three Seed by Silversun Pickups is kind of the uncle who hangs out but you don't really know if you want him around or not.

Let the Flames Begin by Paramore is definitely the mommy of the fight scene, so when you see the line "This is getting us nowhere," try to remember to put that one on : )

* * *

That's all there was to it? Scream for help, and he came?

Had I spent the last year for nothing? I could have asked him to come to me at any old time and completely foregone _everything?_ I could have avoided the kidnapping, the interfacing, the countless minor injuries and near misses… The rape.

But I'd grown, hadn't? I wasn't the same kid who'd flown away from Earth so brashly. I was stronger, braver, but most of all I knew what I was now. I'd discovered my race out here, and not all of them were bad. Some of them were kind and sweet, like Pinch and Butcher at Tricora, some were hardworking Joes like Jumpline from the Space Station, and some were lonely and affectionate, like Microvolt… Many were awful. But Earth was like that, too.

I flew fast, both to stay out of Skywarp's way if Dirge decided to pursue me and because I needed something to do. My energon levels were already running dangerously low, but I knew there was a mining colony not too far ahead. I'd land there, beg a cube and find a place to wait for Skywarp while I replenished myself on solar power.

A little thrill shot through me at the thought; I was going to be with Skywarp soon. After all this time, I'd have the only mech who meant (arguably) more to me than Hot Rod.

The mining colony was on an oddly shaped moon. There was a relatively small bump jutting slightly from the side of the moon, and that is where the main mining operation went on. The rest of the small moon was devoted to support: homes, supplies and even what looked a lot like restaurants.

I didn't know there was more than one way to serve energon. Maybe one day I'd find a place I could take Skywarp without scaring everyone inside to find out.

It still made me shiver with delight to think of him. I could imagine a future, a brand new life where we never lost each other again. I even imagined spark bonding with him, though I knew I was jumping the gun a little on that one.

Of course, it was pretty awful that I'd left him in a four to one situation, and one of them a Seeker to boot… but I had a feeling that I'd just be a liability, and that Skywarp would be able to take care of himself. He was part of the Command Trine, after all. _Was_ being the operative word there.

A small portion of the moon, maybe a quarter or so, was cracked and rent from what looked like a collision in the distant past. It created a maze of canyons and near tunnels, and it seemed very unstable.

To avoid too much attention I landed at the edge of the natural maze, then struck out for the small residencies on the outskirts of the colony.

The _moment_ I stepped past the first buildings I felt something… strange. There was no easy way for me to describe it, maybe a sixth sense or a smell I couldn't quite get a whiff of. No matter what it was, I got the feeling that I should find out what it was.

The alleys were too narrow to be called streets, and the small homes were packed together economically. They were tall, as all Cybertronian buildings were, built mostly of cheap metals with a bit of stone resembling concrete here and there and plastics scattered about rarely in the form of street signs and house numbers. Just like a neighborhood back home.

The main difference here would be a lack of children, a lack of families. These houses would be occupied solely by mechs. I didn't come across anymech as I slipped through down the alleys, so I assumed they were all either recharging or working.

Good thing, too. My energon levels had slipped from orange to red, a whopping twenty-four percent remaining. Because of this, my unnecessary systems, like holograms, refused to start. Somebody, probably the well meaning Ratchet, had installed a failsafe to keep me from sucking myself dry.

The sensation, which was beginning to feel like a tingling in my denta and behind my optics, grew stronger as I made my way deeper into the dark residency. It wasn't exactly what I would've described as unpleasant, but it certainly demanded attention.

As I passed one doorway I felt a very definite _tug_. I turned to the door, no different from any of the others. Could I really just walk inside, like my instincts seemed to expect me to do? How could I know if it was safe?

The door was held shut by a simple latch, no real lock to speak of. The others in this alley all had locking pads. Was this mech poor, or did his pad break?

It opened with a very high-pitched creak of hinges, much higher than a human could have been able to detect. I froze, listened for anything strange, then continued into the dark home.

I adjusted my optics until I could make out the room. It was partitioned off into what seemed to be halves. There was a little furniture, chairs and tables and some sort of chest. What really caught my optic was the little energon storage unit.

My need for energy warred with my morality. This mech couldn't afford his own lock, what if stealing his energon meant he couldn't work? Would he lose even more income, putting him even further in the hole?

_You are in more immediate danger than the mech, _my LP prodded. _Without your hologram every moment is increasingly likely to result in a sighting._

I sighed. It was right, as usual. I had more at stake than the mech whose home I'd snuck into, or at least I tried to think I did. I opened the small storage unit and saw three cubes stacked inside. One was half full, so I took that one and drained it. Wouldn't be much, but it would allow me to use my hologram again.

Resting the cube on the top of the storage unit, I used the light from the little machine to get a better look around. The room was gray, with one wall painted a lively blue. That seemed to be the only personal touch in the place.

_Click. Click. Click._

The sounds, faint and far apart, scared me into stepping back into the storage unit. The empty cube on top fell to the floor with a ring.

A high wail picked up from the same place as the clicking. Louder clicks, more urgent and upset, punctuated the shriek.

Something in me responded in a very deep way to the sound. I immediately found myself rushing to the source, though I didn't know what I was looking for.

The chest. I peered into it, saw a flash of faint blue as something rolled around inside. As soon as my optics fell on it I felt the strangest urge to protect, to soothe and calm…

It was a_ sparkling._

I reached down thoughtlessly, lifted the thrashing infant in trembling hands. It stilled when I touched it, turned cloudy blue optics to look at me blankly. Its tiny hands reached up to my face.

My instincts seemed to be very much in control of me now. I cradled the sparkling to my chest where it would hear my sparksong, felt my core vibrating a soothing sort of melody for the unhappy little creature in my arms.

The clicking died away, as did the sobs. It curled against my chest, trilled a sigh, then offlined its optics.

"How do you exist?" I whispered, bewildered. Why was I holding it like my own child?

There was a whistle and a click behind me. I turned slowly, cautiously, only to find a small gun nearly pressing between my eyes. Not a great weapon, but at a close range one shot would be enough.

A femme was holding it, and she looked like she would panic at any moment.

"I won't hurt it," I whispered. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean… I just felt something."

She extended one hand, flicking her fingers urgently. I slowly eased the sparkling towards her, though I didn't want to let it go. As soon as she could curl her arm around it sufficiently she pulled the tiny sparkling away and pressed it against her chest even as she continued to point the gun at me.

"Get out of here," she hissed.

"Please wait," I pleaded. "My name is Bravura. I didn't know-"

"Get out before they find you," she whispered.

"Before who finds me?"

"Anyone. Everyone. They won't let you leave."

"The miners?"

She nodded confirmation.

"Do you really have to point that gun right at me?" I asked calmly.

She looked unsure, but then the weapon lowered until it pointed at the floor. She glanced behind her, towards the door she'd come through, then looked back at me urgently.

"You must leave. Right now, please."

"What's your name?" I asked soothingly.

"Curia. Leave."

"You're a prisoner here?"

"Yes!" she snapped, though her voice remained barely audible. "You will be too, if you don't get out of here now!"

"Is someone in the other room?" The door was shut, but I couldn't make out any signatures.

"Yes." Her hushed voice grew shrill, raised in volume oh so slightly.

I tore into the situation determinedly. Femme, ground bound, forced to live in an awful little house. No lock on the door. So that anymech could come in when he wanted? Is that how'd she'd gotten this sparkling?

"It's a beautiful sparkling," I whispered, meaning every word. "Have you named it?"

"_Her._"

A female sparkling. My mind whirled again.

"You don't want her to live like this someday. Do you?"

The femme, Curia, frowned. "We'll get out of here before that."

"How about now?" My shoulders pulled back, my chin lifted and I stared her right in the optic.

"I don't understand. There aren't any shuttles scheduled for weeks."

"We don't need one. I can fly, Curia. I can carry you both away from here."

I could. She was shorter than me, not even fifteen feet if I guessed right. I'd carried Devcon easily, and once I got her out of the moon's weak gravity it would be a breeze.

She looked around, down at her sparkling, and then back at the door.

"We'd never make it. Breakspar's waiting for me."

The smile I made felt ugly, but I didn't care. "I'll take care of Breakspar. You gather up everything you need to take care of her, and I'll try to do this quietly."

I'd failed in the arena. No, I hadn't failed… I'd never had a chance, because she hadn't been real. This femme was real, and so was her sparkling. Even so, I had to make up for what I felt was my failure. Dirge had won.

Not this time.

I latched my laser cannon from my back, both because it was quieter than the plasma gun and because it was better for close range. The plasma could backsplash.

Curia had done away with her flimsy weapon, was cradling the sparkling and bouncing it lightly as she rushed rapidly around the room. I went to the door and cracked it open.

"Cu-u-ria-a-a… I'm waiting."

"Coming," I said softly. The room was dark, but I didn't want to take any chances. I slipped in quickly, shut the door behind me.

"Come here," the big form, blue optics guiding me, gestured in the darkness.

Of course. He was a miner. Hadn't Skywarp told me about miners once? They had to be bulky. Even the femmes who'd worked there had been hefty.

I had to be careful, then. Couldn't let him get a hold of me, because chances are he'd be too strong to get away from without hurting myself.

No point in dragging things out. I raised my laser gun and shot him in the head. _Tried_ to shoot him in the head.

It impacted, and I saw his head jerk back. I could even see where his helm melted, glowed bright in the dark… But it didn't stop him.

He got up with a mechanical roar, came at me faster than I could've expected. He was a miner! Weren't big bulky things supposed to be slow?

A heavy fist came down on me but I dodged it, darting behind him and firing again with the same results. I melted a dent in his armor, but no dice. What the frell were they mining here to require protection like that?

He was still roaring, making enough noise to wake up the entire neighborhood. Had to get this done fast. I was moving in to get my laser close enough to fire into the seam under his neck, pulled the trigger, when something grabbed me from behind and _ripped my wing off._

I shrieked. The pain would have been unbearable before Dirge; now, it was simply one of the worst things I'd ever felt. I twisted the last shreds of it free as I spun and fired blindly, caught the new mech right in the chest. He stumbled back, not expecting me to wheel on him so viciously.

I followed his stumble, hooked his heel, grabbed his hand and heaved him to the ground. I shot him in the face until he stopped moving.

Breakspar moaned, moved slightly. Instead of finishing him off, I left the room as quickly as possible.

Curia was huddled against the wall, shielding the sparkling slightly with her shoulder. She gasped when she saw me, saw the energon dripping freely from my broken wing.

"Change of plans. Can't fly, but there's no going back now. We run on foot."

"We'll never make it!" She cried. I could hear how broken she was. It wasn't her fault.

"We _will_ make it!" I insisted. "We will get out of here and she will never know what it's like to suffer, do you hear me?"

I think she saw me for a kindred spirit at that moment; the wounded animal in me, the strength I'd found in my anger. She nodded slowly.

"You lead the way."

I went to the door, peeked out. I could hear mechs out there, saw them gathering. We needed cover. No, she needed cover. I reached up and removed the hologram generators lodged in my chest, configured them as quickly as I could, then went to her.

"I'm going to install these," I said calmly. "They will provide camouflage. Stick to the shadows and dark places. It's intuitive, but no need to overwork it."

Mirage would've been proud. I had both holograms arranged in her chest, synced and running in less than thirty seconds.

"What we're going to do," I said as I worked, "is run towards that natural maze. You will stick to the walls, and I will run right down the middle. You will not stop for anything. I will do the shooting. Do not look back. If I get hurt, you do not stop."

Finally, I drew both of my tracking beacons from my hip compartment, activated them and handed them to her.

"Attach one to her, and keep the other in your storage. It will lead an Autobot named Devcon right to you." I hoped he wasn't too mad at me to respond.

"Why are you giving these to me?" She protested. "Why not just keep them with you?"

I smiled bravely. "In case I die."

She looked horrified, but I made her take the tracking beacons then tugged her to the door.

"It's ok, Curia," I whispered as I peeked out the door again. "I'm infertile. I can't have sparklings… That means you and your sparkling are valuable, and I'm expendable."

"No, that's not how it works!" She protested. "No matter if you're fertile or not! You mean something!"

I looked at her and smiled. I would have had tears in my eyes if I could cry. "Thank you, Curia." Thank you so, so much. "Ready?"

She nodded like she didn't mean it, but there was no time.

"Once I'm out, count to three and start moving. I'll keep their attention. Remember, don't look back. They'll see your optics."

She looked unimaginably scared, but there was a hard edge in her expression that I recognized. She was ready for this.

I smiled confidently. "Here I go." Then I brought up my plasma gun, charged them and slid out the door, firing at the first moving thing I saw.

That got 'em going. Everymech gave me his completely attention, and I made sure they were all good and mad before the three seconds were up. As soon as I heard the door move again, I took off running, straining to keep track of her footsteps over the much louder noises of the mechs. A shot was fired and missed, but I heard the sounds of protest and they stopped.

_Don't kill the femme, idiot. More to go around_, I thought mockingly. Oh, how I wanted to make them hurt.

They didn't stop chasing us, though. They weren't as fast as me, and Curia wasn't slow by any means. I wished I'd thought to put her in her alt mode, but that would've complicated carrying the sparkling.

My alt mode was done for. It didn't fit, so my body wouldn't allow me to rebuild any pieces, and my wing was lying on the floor of Curia's shack. I checked to see if I had enough energy to build the earth jet I had stored, but it would leave me nearly helpless.

Grounded.

Curia and I were gaining ground, amazingly enough. Every ten steps or so I fired back with the laser cannon since it wasn't sapping my energy with every shot like the plasma gun. I wasn't doing any good, but it was keeping their attention on me and not on the dark shadow running slightly ahead of me.

We reached the beginning of the maze remarkably quickly. Not two hundred yards in, a sheet of rock leaned precariously overhead as we scrambled into the darkness, so as I slipped beneath it I shot it twice with the laser gun. It collapsed immediately, not blocking the way but certainly slowing the miners down

I couldn't imagine how angry they were. I'd taken their femme, killed one of their own and seriously damaged another…

From there it was a matter of finding a place to hide. We could hear them, pick up the signatures, but they didn't find us. My signature was nonexistent, and Curia's was quiet enough.

After two breems of running blind I caught Curia's hand and urged her to stop.

"This is getting us nowhere," I whispered. "I can see an opening ahead, and we can't backtrack now."

"Listen to me, Curia. That sparkling in your arms is more important than me. _You_ are more important than me. I can never have a sparkling. You and your sparkling are the future. I have to protect the future."

She stared at me, horror writing itself across her smooth features. "How can you do this?"

I smiled, bending to kiss the tiny sparkling's forehead. She clicked unhappily, grabbing at my helm. I stroked her tiny hand, then straightened and hugged Curia around the sparkling.

"Remember, an Autobot named Devcon. He's dark blue, and he flies a small ship. Tell him I want you to go to Sol. Go to Earth. She can grow up protected by Optimus Prime and all of his best, Curia."

Curia was shaking her head no, but I took her head in my hands. "You have to run. I'll hold them off, but you can't stop running until you find a place to hide. A _good_ place."

I offered her my laser cannon, and when she refused it I curled her fingers around the hilt of the laser myself.

"Use this on anyone who isn't wearing an Autobot symbol. Do you understand?"

She nodded slowly.

"Keep her safe. Run, Curia."

Curia backed away from me, staring. "Why are you doing this?"

Why was I risking my life for her? To prove something to myself, to Devcon? Maybe even to Skywarp? To save the race, to save an innocent sparkling?

No… nothing so heroic. Because she reminded me of me, and I was in essence saving myself by save her.

"Because I understand, and because I want to do the right thing. Run, Curia," I repeated.

She hugged her sparkling tightly to her chest. "Thank you, Bravura."

I nodded and turned my back on her, facing the wide opening in the rock. I heard her footsteps as she ran, and the miners' as they thundered closer, searching. After I couldn't hear her, I allowed my signature to flare to life and heard them begin to call to each other as they picked it up.

I powered my plasma as much as I could, sliding my knife out of my left hand. I looked up at the blurry strip of sky, polluted by a cloud of mining dust. A few bright stars winked through.

I offlined my optics and took a deep intake, letting all the fear wash out of me. It was a cruel sort of irony that as soon as I practically had Skywarp back I was putting myself in harm's way… Not even an accident, this time. I was doing it on purpose. I would burn myself out in a blaze of sorry glory for those two.

Sorry, Skywarp.

I heard the echoes of several mechs in the canyon and onlined my optics, lowering myself into a crouch and powering my weakened thrusters. I couldn't fly, my energy levels were already critical again, but I could jump.

_Forgive me, Hot Rod,_ I whispered into the darkness. He reached for me, but he couldn't bridge the gap. My spark twin was terrified for me, recognizing his own steely preparedness in me. Hot Rod also recognized my surrender with the knowledge that I'd die, since I'd felt this way before. He didn't even know what I was fighting for.

I saw a flash of blue optic shine, and that was all I needed. I burst my thrusters with a leap, arching forty feet into the air before I angled my body like a spear and slammed feet first into the neck of the first mech. I cut out my signature; they didn't need the bait anymore.

The mech toppled, and I sprang backwards, firing at his neck once before landing at his feet and stabbing into his thigh with my blade. He fell and didn't get up. The others stopped from a dead run, staring.

I counted quickly. Not good, not good at all. Three that I could see, maybe four behind them by the sound of things.

**"Come on, bitches."**

They responded to my snarled tone, all three of the first wave diving for me. I punched my thrusters again, curving over their heads upside down and firing two shots. The rounds pelted the working mechs' armor uselessly, and as I landed I realized I was surrounded.

The three mechs turned around, two of them dripping orange plasma. More blue optics glowing behind me.

The gun would only work if I was able to get close and hit them in their weak spots. I retracted it and extended my knife smoothly, turning sideways so that the canyon wall was to my back.

"Come on, now… we just wanna talk," one of the mech's I'd shot cooed. He was talking to me like you'd talk to a spooked horse or a strange dog.

"I don't speak dirtkisser."

The ones opposite the first wave began to move in, thinking I was distracted. One of them got brave, stepped forward with his arms outstretched. I turned to him and rushed him, surprising him by gripping his arms lightly and turning his momentum on him. In a flash he was really kissing dirt while I stabbed his neck with both my blades.

Everyone else moved at the same time and I couldn't think it over anymore. All I could do was react, stab between plates, burst thrusters in the face of one, bring up my plasma gun just long enough to shoot another in the hip, leap off the body of one to get at the shoulder joints of another-

Until they finally got a good hit and I was hurled into the canyon wall. Rocks poured down on me, pinging off my plating. I was covered in energon, a lot of it mine, most of it from the mechs. There were more than seven, I realized dimly. I struggled to my feet and struck a Wolverine pose, laughing quietly at myself.

"**You'll have to do better than that, you little shits!**"

They did. They did a lot better, even though they were just miners, not fighters. I was slowing down, my energy levels just not up to what I was putting myself through. Every plasma shot put me further in the hole… For every five tiny stabs I made they would claw me, nick me, knock me down. I kept getting up, keeping the sparkling's innocent face in my mind's eye. Had to do it right.

Hot Rod was pushing hard now, struggling against me to come in and help me. I pushed mentally at him, winning the internal battle as I lost my external one. He wouldn't know how to fight they way I had to. He didn't have knives, didn't have a light body and thrusters. I could do this better than he could.

Even so, the next hit, the one that sent me rolling back down the canyon the way we'd come, nearly finished me. I pushed myself slowly out of the dirt, felt energon dripping on my hand. I tried to look, but I could barely see. I reached up and felt my optic, cracked beyond usefulness. The other wasn't so bad, but the image it gave me was broken into several tiny skewed blurs.

They were moving in on me, I could hear them. I growled to myself, knowing I couldn't fight like this. Just couldn't. I had to make them kill me. Slavery wasn't an option.

I rose unsteadily to my feet, my whole body quivering with a combination of fear and exhaustion. I flourished my knives then lowered them to my sides, crouching. "What you're doing is very wrong," I whispered in Cybertronian. "And I'll kill you before you take me alive."

They backed away at that, and I shook a little harder. What were they doing? What were they planning? I couldn't see well enough to tell.

A loud crunching sound behind me. I twisted sideways, pointing one knife at the miners and pointing the other into the darkness. My operational optic picked out something moving, something big… then bright red optics towered over me.

I stepped back, fell on my aft as I tilted my head back and lost my balance. I thought the owner of the red optics looked down at me, but I couldn't be sure, and then the huge form clanked past me.

"She's under my protection now," a muffled voice said. I couldn't hear right, the voice rang through my helm like a gong. I had an idea, though, and it filled me with joy despite everything.

"You're outnumbered, kitestrings! We already called-"

A flash, a boom, and the sound of metal striking the canyon's walls.

"Do you still want her?" His deep voice rang as dirt pattered down like rain. The sound was threatening to me even in my now rippling consciousness. I could feel the energon dripping from dozens of splits and cuts all over my body, as well as sliding copiously down my cheek and spattering on my chest.

When they didn't respond, another flash and boom, then suddenly the thunder of mechs as they rushed to get away from the powerful Decepticon. He dove after them with a roar that split my sensors in two, even as the screams of the mechs he caught twisted my spark. I wanted them to suffer, I did… but I hadn't expected it to be like that.

I leaned back against the canyon wall, waiting for the end even as I pushed Hot Rod back through our connection.

_No_, I thought with a little bit of satisfaction. _It's ok now. Everything is ok._ He eased back as the sense of safety and peace filtered to him, though he still didn't trust me to make it out alive.

One final scream echoed down the canyon, and then the sound of heavy supports striking the dirt and rock of the canyon floor came closer again. I lifted my head enough to see the red eyes as he lowered down, barely able make out his winged form as he crouched.

Skywarp, coming out of the darkness to save me from the monstrous men… Déjà vu. I laughed weakly, my aching spark curling in on itself. After so long, he'd kept his promise twice in just a few joors. He caught me when I fell.

"What's so funny? You need help," he said gruffly.

"Always seems that way," I croaked. "Have to say… Glad I finally found you, big guy. But… you found me. If I'd known all I had to do was just _ask…_"

"I'm taking you for repairs."

"Just don't leave me again," I choked more loudly, energon blocking my vocal processors. They'd been slightly damaged. "I'd rather die." –I paused to cough the energon up. "I can't live without you again." I finally got the words out.

"Something's wrong with your processors," he said. Did he sound sad? His claws reached for me, and I raised my hands to meet him.

"I can't even begin to tell you what I've been through," I whispered, staring up into the red optics. "Skywarp, you're incredible."

"And you'll shut down if we don't move soon," he pointed out, his teasing tone falling flat. He pinned my arms to my sides in his huge hand. I whimpered as he lifted me into the air effortlessly; everything hurt so much.

"**I flew, Skywarp," **I sobbed softly, leaning forward and pressing my forehead to his forearm. "**Never thought I would."**

The Seeker held me steady, as gentle as I'd ever remembered. His voice rang through my helm as he held me close to his face. "**You've been to Earth?**"

I jerked my head up, meaning to try to see his face now that I was closer, but I couldn't make him out. My already poor vision swam. He didn't realize who I was.

I laughed softly but with growing intensity, until I was almost hysterical. He waited while my moment of insanity softened into mere lunacy. "**I've been looking for you for a long time.**" I spat out more energon, some of it dotting his dark armor. "**Recognize me?**"

"**Yes. I thought you were impersonating Starscream."**

"**No, before that."**

"**I don't know."**

"**You named me the 'skillful' one. We had an ugly, perfect little house in the desert... Why did you leave me behind?**"

The pain, energon loss, blocking out Hot Rod, emotional trauma and the effort of speaking coherently… It was too much. I swooned forward over Skywarp's arm, diving into blackness before he could give me the answer I so desperately needed.

However, there was a comfort to take with me into the darkness. I heard him say my name, disbelieving.

"**Bravura?"

* * *

**

I woke up in a very bright room. I came out of my recharge swiftly, suddenly. My optics stung furiously, then faded to a faint burn. They worked again. A pair of blue optics appeared over me, set in an incredibly handsome face.

"Butcher?" I choked, disbelieving.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," he said with a smile. "We thought you might kick the can for a while there. He got you here just in time."

"Skywarp?"

"Yes." Butcher bent over me, his fabulously complicated medical installations pointed at me and taking scans. "Appeared at the emergency entrance. Wouldn't let us have you at first, he was so out of it. His energy level was down to nine percent. He should have been in emergency stasis. He collapsed as soon as he saw you on the stretcher."

"I want to see him," I demanded.

"You're in no shape, missy."

I got up, and he was right, my body didn't want to move… But I wanted Skywarp, damnit! I would have him!

"Bravura," Butcher warned. "If you pop the seams I _just_ sealed, I am going to put you back on the stasis bench for an orn."

I grinned, my expectant joy too much to hide. "I'll be careful. Show me where he is?"

Butcher sighed. "Ok. He's probably not awake yet, it's only been a couple of solar cycles."

"I won't bother him," I halfheartedly promised.

Butcher ended up supporting me down the hallway, since my old leg injury from Earth was acting up.

"We were all pretty… surprised, seeing a Seeker bring a femme in," Butcher said quietly to me.

"We're close," I said, my spark singing.

"You'd have to be… He's part of the Command Trine. He's killed a lot of innocents bots…"

"I know. He's different now."

Butcher sighed, then eased me to a stop outside a closed door.

"He's in there. If you need anything, I'll be right outside."

I looked up at the white and red medic and nodded seriously. "I won't need anything."

I had everything I could possibly want.

I went inside the dim room, saw his form on a stretcher pushed against the wall. He was unconscious like Butcher had expected, but it meant I had the luxury of just looking at him.

He looked different than he had on Earth. He was still triangular, still top heavy, but that ridiculous mile-wide ribcage was reduced to something more proportionate to his size. His wings still poked up from his shoulders, the top wing sticking up and framing the back of his head as well as protecting it.

I tiptoed slowly across the room, couldn't resist myself… His face was so inviting, so peaceful… My fingers traced his jaw line lovingly, smoothed across his brow. He was perfect.

He was awake. His optics flickered, came online and slowly focused on me.

The first thing he said nearly made me laugh.

"Prove you're her."

I lifted up my left hand, flipped open the plating and showed him my wrist. He'd asked me to prove myself once before, and I'd shown him the tiny Decepticon symbol poking up from my frame. It was gone now, but he'd understand.

His long arms wrapped around me, pulled me onto the table with him. I pressed myself tightly to his side, resting my head on his shoulder.

"**I missed you,**" I whispered.

"**You shouldn't have left home.**" He sounded so tired.

"**You should have at least told me why.**"

"**I'm sorry, Bravura."**

I pressed my face against him. "**It's ok.**"

"**So… you flew?**"

"**Yeah, I did.**" I stretched my aching neck to look up at him, not able to hide my smile. "**It was **_**amazing.**_"

"**I saw you fighting, Little Star. Who taught you that?**"

"**I learned some from an Autobot named Devcon, and a lot from another named Springer. ****Oh!** I learned Cybertronian, too," I said, resting my chin on his shoulder so I could keep looking at him.

"I noticed," he chuckled. "I also noticed that you seem to be hell-bent on getting yourself killed."

"Oh… There was this femme. She had a sparkling, Skywarp. You know I can't… have one. So… I distracted them. Devcon will pick them up."

He squeezed me lightly. "Never do that again."

"Only if you promise to never leave me again."

His silence shocked me. I lifted myself slightly to stare at him.

"Why won't you promise?"

"My work isn't done."

I couldn't help the selfishness that surfaced. "What about me?"

His hand curved around the back of my helm, then trailed down my back, stopping where my broken wing should have been. He ran his fingers over the base, where the medics must have removed the broken pieces.

"Stay here, or go back to Earth."

The anger I felt was surprisingly strong. "What? I bust my burners, I go through things I'll never be able to forget, and you tell me to just _go back?_"

"You never should have left," he said with a hint of his own anger. "You should have stayed where it was safe!"

"And how do you know it's safe anymore? Guess what, Skywarp. Megatron's alive again. Earth isn't _safe._"

Skywarp seemed shocked. "Megatron? How?"

"Allspark shard, or some such. But you left me with that."

He groaned. "I didn't know."

I pressed my cheek against his shoulder, listening to his systems hum. "Just don't leave me again."

His hand ran down my back, and for once I relished the feel of someone touching my remaining wings.

"Let's rest, Bravura. You don't look so good."

"You don't sound so good." I knew he was dodging making any promises, but I tried not to care. I had him back.

* * *

Bout freakin time, huh? Review!


	15. Chapter 15

Don't panic on me, but I've been thinking about what I'll want to write when I'm done with OE. It's gonna be quite a while I imagine, but I like to plan ahead ;) There's a poll up on my profile page.

Your choices are: Skywarp/Frequency which is interesting just because it is, Butcher's story since he really grew on me even though he was a last minute character, Devcon and Curia and Sparkling to and on Earth, or a flat out no original character Hot Rod fic. A Hot Rod fic would most likely be slash.

* * *

I woke up when a medic I didn't know brought in a few cubes of energon. I rolled over slightly to look at him, consequently waking up Skywarp.

"Oh!" The medic jumped when he saw me. "I didn't realize! I'll be right out."

He left the cart with the cubes and left quickly, humming nervously to himself.

I giggled as soon as the door slid shut. "Too bad we weren't doing anything to actually be embarrassed about," I said, rolling back over to look up at Skywarp.

His smile was so peaceful that I lifted myself up, careful of my aching everythings, and kissed him on the cheek. His expression faded into seriousness, then became intense. He turned his head slightly, let his lips press against mine.

I stroked his helm, the fire I'd craved so much giving me ideas. His hands stroked down my wings, my waist, my thighs…

"We are in a medical facility, you know," Skywarp reminded me playfully when I scooted down to nibble at his neck.

"Don't care," I murmured, running my fingers across his chest.

"You will if someone walks in on us."

I lifted my head, disappointed. "But I've _missed_ you," I said pitifully.

"I missed you too… but that energon has my number, and I'll bet you could use it too."

I whined, let my forehead clank against him, then slid off of him and sat on the edge of the stretcher.

"I cross the galaxy for him, and I can't even get a little action," I grumbled playfully.

An electric shock went through me when he sat up, bent down and kissed my neck, my shoulder, my exposed wing base… I turned my face to him, hoping he'd changed his mind, but he only smiled and reached around me for the energon cubes.

I sighed, took the cube he offered me and downed it thoughtfully.

"How did we get to Tricora so fast?" I asked the Seeker behind me.

"I warped."

"We were nowhere near here though…"

"I warped a few times."

"You nearly killed yourself," I accused, contemplating my mostly empty cube while he started his second.

"I didn't, though," he finally said. "You were in worse shape than me when we got here."

"If you had died on me," I said, twisting my aching neck only slightly to try and glare at him, "I would've killed you."

"You realize that doesn't make sense, right?"

"Don't Seekers have nine lives or something?"

"No, we just don't die." He set the cubes back, then wrapped his arms around me. "You don't look like a youngling anymore."

"Nope. I think it tapered off, I only grew a few inches last year."

"That's still fast." He eased back against the wall, so I set my cube back on the cart and climbed into his lap to lean heavily against him. His arms eased around me in a protective cage. "How long did it take you to fly to civilization?"

"Two years. I would've done it faster, but all that growing really messed with my energon supply." I couldn't stop touching him, tracing the lines of his armor.

We fell silent. I was starting to question my sanity. Surely I must be crazy; this was just so perfect. I shifted slightly against him and felt his armor touching my frame. I looked down and gasped.

Half my alt mode was missing. Pieces had been removed, probably because it was pummeled or cracked and couldn't be fixed. I groaned.

"My alt mode is trashed."

"Yes. It didn't fit anyway. Do you need a new scan?"

"I have one."

He stopped stroking me for a moment, then continued. "Why aren't you wearing it?"

"Didn't want to give up the one you gave me."

"**Silly girl,**" he sighed. "**What's your backup?**"

I looked up at him, wondering why he'd suddenly switched to English.

"**An F-35 Lightning. The only Earth jet that's supposed to be able to beat it is your old alt mode.**"

"**Oh, really? I don't think I ever saw one of those in the air.**"

"**You'll be sleeping with one soon enough,**" I joked.

"**Won't that be a little big on you?**" The Seeker asked after a moment.

There was a tentative knock on the door, and then Butcher stepped into our dark room. Was that why he'd changed languages? He'd heard Butcher coming, and didn't want to medic to be in on our private moment? Just how sensitive was he?

Butcher immediately looked embarrassed. All of the medics here were so easy to set off…

"Sorry… Bravura, you're due for more repairs, and I need to check on the seams. How's the energy problem, Skywarp?"

"Couldn't be better," Skywarp said with a friendliness I didn't expect.

"Glad to hear it. You can stay as long as you like. I imagine you'll be here as long as Bravura is…"

"Maybe," Skywarp said noncommittally.

Butcher looked down at me, saw the worry there and smiled encouragingly. "Come on, miss. Time to enter the torture chamber, though I have to say you're lucky you were unconscious for the optic replacements. Those are never fun."

I slid to the floor as soon as Skywarp released me, wincing when I jarred my leg. It wasn't badly damaged, just strained. Even so, Skywarp saw my flinch and stood up. Before I could spit out a protest he'd picked me up bridle style.

"Hey- I can walk," I protested weakly. Secretly, I enjoyed being doted on by the powerful mech. It reaffirmed everything I'd done for him.

"So? Maybe I just want to make sure all these smartaft doctors know you're mine," Skywarp whispered with a wicked smile, his lips close to my helm.

I reached up and stroked his cheek, unable to contain myself. "In that case, never put me down. I want everyone to know."

His look took on the same intensity from before, and I knew I had him. I leaned upward in his arms, intending to kiss him, when Butcher cleared his throat. It was my turn to be embarrassed, and I dropped back down against Skywarp's chest in surprise. I'd completely forgotten the medic was there.

"Shall we?" He said, rubbing the back of his neck. Poor thing, he really was incredibly good looking. He didn't deserve to be single. Not that I had any interest in helping him with that particular problem. As far as I was concerned Skywarp was the only mech in the universe.

* * *

"Ow." I grumbled as Butcher fiddled with something in my back.

"Sorry," he said. We'd gotten into a rhythm; he'd have to do something that hurt like sin, I'd ineffectively complain, and he'd unapologetically apologize.

"Medics," I grumbled against the table. Skywarp was with us, sitting against the wall. I got the impression that he was making a statement to Butcher more than spending the time with me, but since I got what I wanted I couldn't complain.

Butcher sighed. "A lot of that pain is from all the pinching I'm having to do on your alt mode. I'd hazard to guess you're not going to be able to replace the damaged parts, so we might as well strip off what's left."

I sighed. I was attached to the tetrajet, but I'd made it last until Skywarp saw it… so I could deal. The Lightning would be a nice change, hopefully.

"Let's do it," I said, smiling wickedly at Skywarp.

He smiled back, getting the innuendo. "You need any help?" He asked Butcher.

"I don't believe so. Actually, Skywarp, I was hoping to discuss something with Bravura alone."

Skywarp was strangely silent as he got up, until he got to the door. "I'll be in the room you're lending me," he said to the medic. "Have fun, Bravura."

I blew him a kiss, feeling a thrill when he nodded slightly to me. Everything he did sent shots of excitement through me. The _grown-up_ kind of excitement.

Butcher waited until the door was shut and I'd sat up.

"Your spark shows signs of intense stress," Butcher said slowly, looking me right in the optic.

I looked down sharply. "Oh, well, you saw the state I was in. It's been rough."

"Where was Devcon when all of this was happening?" Butcher asked, once again slow and deliberate.

"I don't know. Somewhere else."

Butcher waited, maybe to see if I wanted to elaborate, and then crossed his arms. I looked up at him, wondering why I felt so nervous.

"Did Devcon rape you?" Butcher asked gently.  
I couldn't help my gasp of alarm. "No!" I said quickly. "No, Devcon wouldn't do that!"

"Then why wasn't he there to help you when you got yourself trashed? Why did a _Decepticon_ have to rescue you?"

"I ran away," I said angrily. "Devcon was getting attached, and you can _see_ that my spark's somewhere else. So I left."

"Then who raped you?" Butcher's voice was level again, calm. "Was it Skywarp?"

I pulled my shoulders back from my slouch. "Of course not! Skywarp has been nothing shy of perfect ever since I met him."

"Who did it?"

"Why do you care?" I snapped, my voice cracking inexplicably. I'd though I wasn't upset about Dirge, but when Butcher looked at me like he expected me to be, I found myself _becoming_ emotional.

"Because you're an exceptional femme, and because if I know I can spread the word and bring justice to the mech who hurt you."

"Oh, tell everyone I was raped?" I said, throwing up my arms. "Fine, it's not like I care for my dignity."

"I won't violate your trust," Butcher assured me.

I folded in slightly, allowing myself to slouch over my lap again. "Don't tell Skywarp," I said finally.

Butcher seemed surprised. "Why wouldn't you want him to know?"

"He already thinks I'm a silly, helpless femme. If he finds out… he'll never let me go with him."

"It isn't your fault," Butcher said almost aggressively. "Don't blame yourself."

I sighed, the faintest whine coming out from deep in my chest. "It was another Seeker. Dirge."

Butcher took a while to swallow that, but then started afresh with a more 'clinical' tone. "Well, just so you know, there's no sign of a sparkling having been produced. It's early to say, I'd have to look again in a stellar cycle or so…"

I squinted at the medic. "Don't be silly, I can't have one anyway."

"Oh?" Butcher asked, cocking one optic ridge.

"Yes," I said with certainty.

"Why do you say that?"

"I was told by two reliable mechs back home. They said I was infertile."

Butcher didn't say anything, only gestured for me to lie down. Once I was on my back he gently opened my chest, then surprised me by offering me a cable.

"Have you ever looked at your spark?" He asked gently.

"No," I said, taking the cord and plugging it into my own wrist. I was immediately granted access to his optical sensors, so I look through Butcher. I saw myself, narrow waist, a chest that seemed too wide to be attractive, lopsided shoulders, one with a wing base poking up…

But Butcher's focus was on my spark. It was blue, a pretty sort of sky blue. It seemed to tremble now and again, quiver on the surface. That was the core. Surrounding the center of my spark was a thin, patchy bluish cloud, almost like the atmosphere of a planet.

"Sending you an image file," Butcher said distractedly. I accepted the file and looked to find that he'd sent me a memory image of another femme's spark. She had also sported a light blue spark core, but the halo around her spark was strong and full and _white._

"A sparkling will form and develop in that white cloud around the spark," Butcher told me. "Your spark isn't typical," –the same word First Aid had used- "but there's no reason to believe that a sparkling couldn't establish itself. You may have even more trouble conceiving that most, if that's possible, but I wouldn't say it's impossible."

I was prepared to protest. "But Optimus's medic Ratchet said I couldn't."

"Did he say why, by any chance?"

Because my spark was formed from a mech's. "No."

"Who was the other mech who 'confirmed' your infertility?"

"Starscream," I said bravely.

Butcher whistled. "You run with an extremely dangerous crowd, missy."

"Skywarp's crowd," I said with a shrug.

"Do you think," Butcher said thoughtfully, "that Starscream has medical training?"

"I don't know," I said noncommittally. "But everybody thinks he's really smart."

"So you take _his_ word for it? When he may know nothing about the Cybertronian form?"

What was he getting at? I couldn't help but glare up at Butcher in frustration.

He chuckled at me, unplugging his cord from my wrist and closing my chest. "Did you tell Starscream what Ratchet told you about the infertility, or did he come to the conclusion on his own?"

"I told him…"

"Uh huh. Did it ever occur to you that Ratchet was trying to protect you? That your own strange appearance and your conviction might convince a less educated mech that you were less attractive or valuable?"

I sat up abruptly "Ratchet wouldn't lie to me."

"I think he may have," Butcher said, his hands slipping to my wrist and deftly removing the alt mode plating.

"Just don't say anything to Skywarp, would you? I don't know if he wanted sparklings before, but I don't want him to get his hopes up," I said. This was the second medic to give me the 'why not?' theory. Could Butcher be right?

Surely not. The cloud around my spark was patchy, thin… the wrong color… All wrong.

Strangely enough, freeing myself of my alt mode was a relief. Butcher couldn't set me up with an acid bath until my repair system had a chance to do its work, so I settled for the now much less painful repair work the medic was performing on my back.

"You know," he said quietly, "I wanted Devcon to leave you here as an apprentice."

"How come?"

"Well… speaking from experience, mind you, being a medic is safer and more fulfilling, at least to me, than fighting."

"You have experience fighting? Ow!" _That_ still hurt.

"Sorry. Yes, I was a mercenary. I mostly escorted merchant ships."

Butcher was a fighter? What had Devcon said so long ago… I'd suggested that I'd be the most dangerous thing in Tricora, and Devcon had hinted that I might be wrong.

"Why did you quit?"

Butcher thought about that, or maybe just had to focus on what he was doing for a moment. Finally, "You can only lose your friends so many times before it changes you. Every mech I was ever able to trust ended up dying, one way or another. One day an Autobot medic was there when our ship was being attacked, and he helped me save my last good friend's life. He still managed to die later, but… it seemed so right, to be fixing mechs up instead of fragging them up. Pardon my language."

I laughed quietly at the silly tone Butcher put on at the very last. He really was very sweet. I felt bad for doubting him in the past.

"How did you get the name Butcher?"

The medic chuckled. "Back in my mercenary days I had a penchant for chain saws and other motorized weapons. If somebody got on my bad side… well, I had a temper, and I wasn't afraid to use them."

"What's your real name?"

Butcher coughed slightly. "It's embarrassing."

"Come on," I wheedled, grinning against the exam table. "I won't tell."

"Promise?" I could tell he was just playing with me, but I didn't mind.

"Cross my spark and hope to die."

"That's an odd little oath… Ok." Butcher leaned in close, then whispered quietly, "Scintillon."

"What's wrong with that?" It sounded ok to me.

"It means sparkle, twinkle, not to mention it has something to do with some slimy organic creature…"

I couldn't help giggling. "Your creators named you Sparkly Twinkly Slime?"

"Call me Butcher," the medic said firmly. "I enjoy the irony."

"Oh. For irony's sake, then."

"Cheeky," Butcher chuckled.

After a while Butcher was done for the day.

"There are still a few things I need to get at before your repair systems do, but it can wait. I know you want to see Skywarp… You know, if Devcon knew you were chasing the Seeker because you were involved with him… He would've popped a gasket at the very least."

"I know." I rolled onto my back, sat up and stretched. It felt so luxurious to stretch completely, unconstrained by a small alt mode. "Do you want me to wait on the new alt mode until you're done with repairs?"

"That would be helpful, but I can work around an alt mode. Do what you like."

"Ok. Thanks, Doc."

He nodded, then showed me out and went off down the hall on his own business. I went back to the room where Skywarp was waiting. It was still dark, but the Seeker was awake.

"You're so thin," Skywarp said thoughtfully as I turned to shut the door.

"I don't feel thin," I said, gesturing to my chest. I looked much like him, only more feminine. Rather top heavy, though the effect was much less drastic in my case than his.

He reached for me, and I gratefully came to him, allowing him to pull me up onto his chest. "You're perfect," he assured me, pillowing his head on one arm to be able to look at me.

The orns upon orns of sexual frustration still weighed on me heavily, though Hot Rod didn't seem at all interested in Sideswipe for the moment. Hot Rod was actually bewildered, surprised. I imagined he was wondering if I was simply happy to see someone, or if I'd finally found the mech I'd gone looking for.

I eased my way up his chest until I had his head pinned between my arms, suspending my face directly over his. He watched me, red optics thoughtful, until I crossed the distance and kissed him slowly, lovingly. His free hand lifted to my waist, caressed my frame, down to my hips and back up until his large hand engulfed my helm, though he was infinitely gentle as he always was with me.

"I don't think you understand how badly I've needed you," I murmured against the armor wrapped around his head, nibbling at it as I worked my way to his neck. "Hot Rod found an interfacing partner… and I've been very, very jealous."

"We're in a hospital," he all but moaned as I licked at a gap in his armor. Easing all of my weight to one hand, I brushed my fingers across his shoulder to his wing. He shuddered, so I leaned back and to the side.

My lips followed my fingers, running along the leading edge. He pulled his trapped arm from under his head, gripping my hips almost as if to restrain me, though he wasn't complaining. When I nibbled his wing near the tip he bit back a groan, so I licked across the spot slowly, sensually. His hands found their way to my wing bases, tweaked them slightly. I gasped against his wing in surprise; he knew _exactly _how to touch them.

"If we don't stop now, I'm not responsible for what happens," Skywarp whispered to me meaningfully.

"Of course you are," I purred, or at least attempted to purr. Abandoning his wing, I centered back on him, kissed him again before breaking away to speak. "You and I both know _I'm_ not the responsible one."

"I guess we're out of luck, then." He finally put himself into the kiss, really _held _me. I felt the protectiveness, the possessiveness and the strength that I so admired in him flare to life. He let go of me to push himself upright, then while holding me tightly against him flipped us over so that I lay beneath him.

I let my helm rest against the stretcher, which didn't seem to be made for the gymnastics it had just undergone. "You on top?" I asked curiously.

"You're not so small anymore," he said before kissing along my collar, down my chest.

The attention there made my spark flutter, pulled at it strangely. It was such an odd sensation that I commented on it to Skywarp.

He continued to kiss me, sweet and slow, then lifted his head and rested his chin on my chest. "What do you think it means?" He asked, his tone suggesting he knew and simply wanted to hear my guess.

I copied his pose from earlier, propping up my head with one arm to look at him while I reached down to stroke his face while I thought. Butcher's talk about sparklings had me thinking about a family… even if mine would only ever consist of the two of us.

"I think it means I love you," I told him seriously, nervously. "Not just the crazy loyalty that made me follow you, but the… the kind of love that's supposed to last."

He seemed surprised. We'd never said the three words to each other, though I'd thought it to him hundreds of times.

"That's not it, is it," I asked, flustered. He wasn't saying it back.

"Bravura," he said to quiet me, but with such solemnity that I actually became a little scared. Was he about to shoot me down?

He eased up until his heavy weight was poised over me, his chest just touching mine. The shivery jumping of my spark increased as it sensed the nearness of his. He let his weight down just a little, and the thwarted electricity that I could swear was jumping between us made me sigh for the wanting of it.

"Do you feel that?" He asked.

"Yes, it's nice," I said quickly. If he was going to reject me he'd better do it and stop teasing me…

"It means that _I_ love _you_, silly."

My logical thinking shattered. Somehow I managed to get my lips against his and wrap my hands around the back of his helm. He lifted me up enough to curl an under me, to arch my body against his.

_It was worth it,_ I sang to myself. _It was all worth it!_

"What was?" Skywarp asked, and I realized with a start that he was plugging in our cables and that he'd heard me.

"Following you," I said sheepishly.

"I would've loved you even if you'd waited back home," he said playfully.

My protest shivered to silence when he sent a delicious wave of energy through me. I let the echoes rush back to him, then whispered into him myself, all of my love pouring into it. I could feel it all the way to his toes in the feedback, but then he was kissing me and I couldn't quite seem to focus on the particulars.

Hot Rod was amazed. I could feel his own arousal start up at the strength of mine, and at the teasing echoes of my pleasure he received.

Skywarp was almost entirely in control of our interface, though I still didn't know if it was because he doubted my experience or if he simply preferred to be. He was the one who started pushing energy when it was my turn, washing us both in electric waves of pleasure that neither of us could reach alone.

He'd teased me into another one of these waves when I felt Hot Rod begin interfacing. I moaned out loud, though I'd managed to keep it down for the most part to avoid advertising to the medics. Hot Rod dove right into it, and Sideswipe must've responded with gusto because my twin's pleasure spilled into me and through me. Skywarp gasped over me.

"Was that…?" He didn't finish, just let his forehead drop against mine when another burst infused our own waves of pleasure and intensified it.

"He's interfacing," I explained weakly, then kissed Skywarp as we hit the glass ceiling, what I'd believed to be the absolute peak of pleasure, and broke through it.

It only took another wave for the energy to consume me, to complete me. In the moments of impossible bliss before I overloaded I could _almost_ feel Skywarp's spark as his chest pressed close to me.

* * *

"You are NOT leaving me here!" I all but shrieked at Skywarp.

"You aren't coming with me!" He was standing over me in the room we'd been given, and I knew he was doing his best to contain his anger. I sure wasn't.

"You can't just forget about me, just like that! Why are you even going? What are you _doing _out there?!"

"I'm trying to make up for all the wrong I did."

I clenched my fists. "You've done so much right by me, isn't that enough?"

He looked up to the ceiling then back down sharply. "You have no idea what I've done in my life."

"I don't care!" I was getting tired of him standing over me, so I climbed onto the stretcher and stood on top to be more level with him.

"What, you think that'll help your case?" Skywarp goaded me. "You might be bigger than you were on Earth, but you're still a child!"

"**I'm twenty-two!**" I snarled. "**I'm not a child!**"

"Then stop acting like one!"

I stepped back in surprise, the reprimand hitting me like a kick in the gut. I miscalculated the dimensions of the stretcher, stepped between it and the wall and fell down with a shriek of metal as my back scraped the wall and my leg caught in the rail of the stretcher. I hit the floor, dangling slightly by my leg.

"Oh, Little Star," Skywarp said pityingly, coming to pull me out. I let him help me until I was no longer tangled hopelessly, then roughly pushed him away. He yielded to me, and I struggled to my feet on my own, leaving the room angrily.

He followed me. "You split a seam," he said abruptly.

I stopped, looked down for it. Skywarp touched my hip, and I was true. Energon was leaking from the freshly opened gash.

"Butcher's not going to be happy," I sighed. It was almost too much. Almost. I swallowed the terror that I was about to lose Skywarp again, even if it was only temporary. I wanted to stay with him.

"Please try to understand," Skywarp whispered to me. "I love you. I will always love you. I just have to do this for myself, ok?"

Sorrow must have been apparent on my face, because Skywarp winced when I looked at him. "Please don't go, Skywarp. Not unless I come too."

He knelt down, put himself more level with me. He stroked my helm with his long fingers, leaned down and kissed my forehead. "I will come back."

"What if you don't?" I asked miserably, leaning into the mech I loved. His arms circled around me, and I could nearly pretend I wasn't about to be separated from him again.

"Seeker's don't die, remember?" He said, not quite joking.

"You did this same thing last time," I whimpered. "You left when I was too hurt to follow you. Cheater."

A chuckle died in his chest before it ever made it past his lips. "I should have told you why before I left," he finally conceded.

I heard a pair of medics start to come down the hall we were occupying, then think better of it and go the other way. I nuzzled against the Seeker, trying to absorb the moment.

The twinge of my leaping spark gave me an idea, and I latched onto it uncertainly. Hot Rod had once made a promise to me: You'll never be alone again. He'd kept his promise, though unintentionally, by donating his spark to me and becoming my twin.

If I bonded with Skywarp, became his true mate, then I would always know which direction to look for him. I might even be able to feel what he felt, though I doubted it would be anything like the intimate and immediate connection I had with Hot Rod.

"I'm about to ask you something," I said slowly against the big mechs warm chest. "Please don't make fun of me."

"I won't," Skywarp promised, sounding curious.

"Will you sparkbond with me?" I asked nervously, leaning back to try to peek at his expression.

He looked down at me in surprise. "Bravura, sparkbonding isn't something to take lightly. You can't throw away a bond like Humans throw away ritual rings…"

"I know. I have a twin, remember?"

"You're so young," he protested. "What if one day you wake up and you realize you're different? That you don't-"

I covered his mouth lightly with two fingers. "I will love you until the day I die, and I'll find a way to love you after that."

"You're not thinking," he finally said. He silenced my protest the same way I'd silenced him, with a finger over my lips. "I'll come back in a few months. If you still feel the same way after you've had time to think about it I _will_ sparkbond with you."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him soundly. It wasn't the best, but it was a better compromise than 'you stay here while I leave' so I accepted it.

"Thank you," I whispered to the big mech. "Please make it a short few months."

* * *

There you go, dearies. Make me happy and review. Feedback! *stomps* ;)


	16. Chapter 16

Just a short little blip, since I got a Devcon request. This is where the Devcon/Curia/Sparkling story would pick up if I were to pursue it.

* * *

Devcon forced his way into the crack in the rock face. Both tracking beacons were going strong, and they hadn't moved since he'd arrived on the moon.

"Bravura?" He called softly into the darkness.

Nothing.

"Bravura?" Louder this time, more urgently. "Answer me!"

_Oh, please, Primus…_

He'd tried their comm. link, but nothing had come back but empty static.

He continued to struggle into the crack in the rock wall, praying and hoping and regretting. If he hadn't touched her like that, hadn't scared her away, she wouldn't be in this crack in the wall with her beacons on. She'd only ever used them in emergencies.

"Bravura!" He yelled. "Please, Bravura, say something!"

He thought he saw a flash of blue optics, but they disappeared. He pushed himself deeper into the tight crack, only to burst into open air and fall several feet to the hard floor of the small cavern.

He heard a feminine gasp, and he looked up quickly, half lifting himself off the ground.

"Bravura?"

"Devcon?" a weak voice whispered from the nearly complete darkness of the cavern. He could almost pick out a shape against the back, but he couldn't be sure.

"Of course it's me, honey. I'm here. I'm going to get you out of here. How bad is it?"

"I'm fine," the voice whispered. Something wasn't right.

"Bravura?" He asked slowly, suspiciously. "Can you walk?"

"I'm not Bravura," whoever the stranger was said mournfully. "I think she's dead."

Devcon crossed the cavern rapidly, used his instinct to grab the small form by the neck. There was a faint choking sound, and then the familiar whine of a laser gun. Bravura's.

"Where did you get that?" he snarled, not even caring that what was clearly a femme was pressing it to his stomach. He loosened his grip so that she could respond.

"She gave it to me. The beacons too. So that we could get away."

"Why do you think she's dead?!"

"Because she said to run while she held them off. They broke her wing, we couldn't get away. She fought all of them."

"Them?"

"The miners."

A clicking distracted the bounty hunter. He cursorily looked down from the femme's bright blue optics, only to catch the tiny, bleary optics of another. He released the femme and backed away.

A sparkling?

"She said that you would help us," the femme said, fear lacing her words. "She said to ask you to take us to Sol."

"You saw her die?" Devcon asked, not yet interested in the femme's needs. How could he let this happen?

"No… I ran."

"I'm going to find out. Where would they take her?"

"Back to the residency…"

"Then that's where I'll look. Stay here, I'll come back for you."

She didn't say anything, simply accepted it. Devcon found the way out again by feel, forced his way back out of the crevice and into the wispy atmosphere of the moon. The skimmer was parked next the rock face, so he leapt in and started, making beeline for the 'residency.'

* * *

"You kiddin' me? We lost seven mechs because of that insane femme! She killed three, and four more died later because of what that fraggin' _Seeker_ did to 'em!"

"Did you find a body?" Devcon asked the mech, who was bending over his work examining soil samples.

"Of what? The femme? No, but I doubt she woulda lasted long. They'd just about gotten her when the Seeker decided he wanted a piece of everything."

"Which Seeker?"

"You're askin' a frell of a lot of questions," the worn out mech said, peering up at Devcon. "What's it to you?"

"I knew that femme," Devcon said, allowing his gravelly voice to drop threateningly. "If she's alive, I want to find her."

"She's dead," the miner growled. "I saw a video feed from one of the survivors. She was covered in energon, optics broken out, snapped wings, barely able to stand. When she saw that Seeker she just collapsed. Gave up."

Bravura wouldn't just give up. But if she was really fighting that many… what if she just couldn't go on anymore?

What had that Seeker done to her before she died?

Why hadn't he prevented it?

He'd always known she was a trouble magnet. If she didn't go looking for it herself it always managed to find her. But… she'd always made it out, usually because someone else stepped in on her behalf. It'd been that way from the very start.

And now she was probably dead.

Devcon turned away from the worker abruptly, left without another word. His spark clenched furiously, and he struggled to control himself. He'd really cared about her. Maybe even loved her, no matter how infuriating or senseless she could be.

It just wasn't possible…

Bravura was dead.

The news had been all over the trading frequencies, about the fiasco at Sheol. He'd heard those Cons, the last ones he gotten with Bravura, talking about a femme there… And she'd left soon after hearing about it. Why hadn't she asked him to come? He suspected she'd been angry with him, but he thought she'd come back after she cooled down… But she never had. Devcon couldn't bear to think she'd died hating him.

The transmissions talked about a mech named Spinner leaping into the arena to defend a femme, only to be faced down by a Conehead Seeker. From Bravura, Devcon knew Thrust was on Earth, so it was either Ramjet or Dirge. The Seeker had taken the arena femme away, only to have the smaller mech collapse. Apparently the mech had been wearing holograms, because when he lost consciousness he revealed he was a femme. And the Seeker had taken her.

Then the tracking beacons had activated.

She must have gotten away, only to be tracked down by the Seeker yet again. He'd finished her off, Devcon was almost sure of that. Seekers didn't like losing.

Devcon made his way back to the parked skimmer. Her last message to him had been to take the femme and her sparkling to the place she'd grown up. He would do it, but not for that frightened femme or her sparkling. He could easily see himself hating the strange femme. If not for her, Bravura might have evaded the Seeker long enough for Devcon to find her.

No, he certainly wouldn't do it for that femme. He'd do it for Bravura.


	17. Chapter 17

There are some is a Hot Rod and s Mirage POV moment in this chap… Bravura's time with Butcher is just kinda bleh to me, trying to work myself into actually writing some of it and not just skipping wildly to the next Skywarp scene by stalling on Earth… If anybody has any ideas for Tricora, feel free to shoot them at me. I'll make sure you get a gold star in the next a/n.

Depending on how much stress writing I do (classes start in a few days) chapters might slow down. It didn't stop me last semester, but we'll see. Meh. If I start getting gripey and gloomy (I think it's already showing) yell at me.

If you're sick of me takin' forever to update, go check out Forbidden Fantasies by Ayngel. It's got Mirage/Skywarp and Skywarp/TC among others.

* * *

Butcher was there when Skywarp left. The medic stood back, just past the back door of the hospital, while Skywarp and I said goodbye further down the way. It was nothing more than a long alley used by the delivery sleds, so we weren't afraid of being seen.

The Seeker knelt down, allowing me to lean in close and hug him tightly.

"I still don't understand why you're going. Please don't leave me here," I tried one last time.

"I'll be back soon. Don't worry."

Looking up at the Seeker, I tried hard to put on a brave face. We'd only recharged together a couple of times, and after I split the seam Butcher had apparently threatened bodily harm on Skywarp if he risked another accident… So no more interfacing. I'd tried to win on that one too, but once again Skywarp put his foot down and I went without.

"I love you," I told him, reaching up and touching his cheek. "Don't get hurt."

"I love you, too." He leaned down and kissed me slowly, sweetly, and my spark trembled. "Learn something while I'm gone?"

I sighed and pressed my forehead to his. We'd arranged an apprenticeship with Butcher. Of course I'd resisted: an apprenticeship would take years. I didn't even have much interest in the field. Now, if someone like Mirage had offered to take me on, I would've accepted in a sparkbeat… Skywarp had insisted, cajoled and finally smoothed me over with kisses and promises and I'd given in.

"I'll be the best sexy nurse you ever laid optics on," I assured my Seeker with the most believable false enthusiasm I could muster.

"I know you will," he whispered, his hand gliding down my back affectionately. He kissed me one last time and stood up.

It was too tempting not to grab onto his hand. He'd begun to turn away, but the light tug of my grip made him turn back.

"Bravura?"

"Don't be long, Skywarp."

He nodded, squeezed my hand, then pulled away. His fingers slipped through mine and I let him go. He surprised me by jumping into the air right there in the alley and somehow clearing the walls, blasting away with a thunderous burst of sound and leaving me all alone.

No, not alone. I stood there, lost, until Butcher came up behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"He'll be back before you know it. I'll keep you so busy you won't have time to worry about him."

I looked up at Butcher's sympathetic smile and worked up one of my own. "Thanks for taking me on. I don't know what I'd do..."

"You don't have to worry about that, either." He turned back to the hospital, so I followed him. "Since your holograms are missing you'll have to let us clear the exits, entrances and halls of witnesses before you can move from room to room. We don't really get a ton of traffic at once, so it shouldn't be a problem most of the time."

"Where exactly am I going to go after work? I don't have-"

"You can stay with any of the medics here. I would offer my apartment, but after that look you gave me when I suggested it the first time-"

It was my turn to cut him off. "I was being stupid, Butcher. It's… hard to trust sometimes. I seem to get the good ones and the bad ones mixed up a lot."

His smile brightened. "You want to stay with me, then?"

"Well, aside from Pinch I don't know anyone here… and I already know your apartment is nice."

"Fantastic!" The eagerness the medic showed was surprising. "That will make things easy. You can just follow me on my shifts, and I can make sure you're doing your homework."

Homework? I made a face, and the white and red medic laughed. He seemed truly happy to have a student, or maybe just for the company in his lonely apartment.

I could only work on mechs who were bad enough to be in stasis, so it took a few days before I did anything. At first Butcher left me with some data pads, but when he came back during his break he found me staring hopelessly at the glowing pad.

"What's wrong? Do you need help?"

I set the pad on the end table and shrugged weakly. "I have a confession."

"Will I be alarmed?"

"I don't think so… I can't read this."

Butcher picked up the pad, looked at it for a minute, then looked down at me. "Are your optics giving you trouble? It happens sometimes with replacements."

Shaking my head, I looked down. Somehow I was embarrassed to admit to Butcher what I'd so easily told Devcon. "I can't read Cybertronian."

"Oh. No, no, don't be like that, most Cybertronians are illiterate these days. It doesn't come naturally to most of us." Butcher sat in the chair next to me.

"It doesn't?"

"No, not really. In general bots are so used to things coming easily that taking an orn for written word seems like a hassle. Autobots usually take to it well, being sympathizers to other species, as well as some of the more responsible Decepticons, but your average working class neutral doesn't bother."

"Just an orn doesn't seem so bad," I protested.

"You were raised with organics, right?" He continued at my nod. "They learn more slowly? You're probably used to it, but the rest of us are spoiled." He smiled and handed the datapad back to me. "I'll start teaching you tonight. Until then, you can help Pinch clean equipment. I'm sure he'd be happy to tell you what they're all for."

Living with Butcher was surprisingly easy. He was sweet, considerate and he was always teaching me things, even if they weren't directly related to repair work.

He'd caught me moping one evening after we'd gotten back from an uneventful shift.

The reel of Cybertron's long dead cities was on, but I wasn't quite watching it. I was staring blankly, thinking about Skywarp and Hot Rod and Earth, when Butcher had appeared out of nowhere and pulled me to my supports.

"We're going to see a friend of mine," he said, turning on his usual charming smile. "There's a surprise waiting there. I think you'll like it."

I made a face at the perpetually positive medic but followed him. We didn't go far, just across the small apartment complex Butcher lived in. The whole complex was rented by Tricora staff because of its proximity to the hospital, so we weren't worried about being seen.

We stopped at one door, but I noticed Butcher did shield me slightly from prying optics. After a moment the door opened and a blocky medic opened the door.

"Butcher! And this must be the Bravura everyone is talking about. Still no alt mode?" I looked down, slightly embarrassed. They all made it seem strange that I was exposing my frame.

"Still some repairs to be done on that wing and her neck," Butcher covered for me. "She's doing me a favor by keeping it open for me. Bravura, this is Clearout"

"Nice to meet you," I said cautiously, wondering why Butcher had brought me here.

"Likewise. Well, come on in and shut the door before Mercury gets out," Clearout said, moving back from the entrance to let us in. "She's just about impossible to catch when she gets it in her little processor to run."

My head shot up at 'She' and both medics chuckled.

"You'll see," Butcher reassured me as he motioned for me to go in first.

Clearout's apartment was blue and purple, with several bright yellow conversation pieces arranged here and there. It had the same floor plan as Butcher's, with a small kitchen alcove, a spare but adequate living space, and a small bedroom at the back.

He had several chairs and loveseat arranged around the apartment. Butcher sat in the loveseat, which resembled the Earth furniture in shape only. The thing was made entirely of metal, though it made no difference to me.

I followed the handsome medic and sat next to him, wanting to keep the familiar mech close. Without Devcon or Skywarp there to focus on I felt aimless and alone. Butcher seemed to understand, and since the first day he hadn't left me alone once. He preferred to keep me with him, but the necessity of his work left me with the likable Pinch more often than not.

Clearout went to the kitchenette, filled a small square bowl with little glowing nuggets and came back to the living area. He shook the bowl slightly, set it on the floor then sat down a large arm chair across from us.

I looked at Butcher curiously, but he only smiled and tilted his head towards the bowl.

Glancing back at the bowl, I expected nothing to have changed, but to my shock a small silvery blue creature was crouched over the bowl and seemed to be eating from it.

My gasp startled it. It leaped to its feet, gave me one appraising yellow stare, then disappeared under Clearout's chair with the fizzle of tiny engines.

"What was that?" I whispered, leaning close to Butcher.

"She's a turbofox. Native to Cybertron, nearly extinct now. She's expecting a litter in seven or eight stellar cycles," Clearout explained. "An Autobot who works out of Vontec is coordinating a breeding program to try to save them."

The turbofox was poking her delicate silvery nose out from under the chair, her dandelion yellow eyes glowing in the shadow. After a moment of staring at Butcher and me she slowly crept into the bright light of the apartment and back to the bowl.

I could see why Clearout named her Mercury. She moved with fluidity and grace, and I could imagine by her lines that she would indeed be fast.

How long had he said it would until she had her litter? Eight stellar cycles? Unconsciouly I repeated the length of time out loud, and Clearout took it up willingly.

"Yes, she's about halfway through her gestation. She's small, but her cubs will be too, so it doesn't take long."

Looking at Butcher, I hoped he understood my confusion.

Butcher stared back, until I saw the realization click. "Oh! Organics have amazingly short gestation periods, don't they?"

"Something small like her would take… um, half a stellar cycle," I guessed, though my knowledge of critter breeding was limited.

"Cybertronian alloys are difficult to divide and require a continuous power source," Clearout said coolly. "While Mercury here gets all the energon she needs, it's an evolutionary precaution to keep from starving the mother."

Why had I grown so fast, if evolution should have geared me for slow growth? Then again, nothing of my body was what you'd call natural. Even Hot Rod's spark had been perverted by contact with me.

My own thoughts shocked me. I'd _perverted_ Hot Rod's spark? Where had this… this self-loathing come from?

To my shock a cold nose brushed against my toes. I looked down to see that the turbofox had quietly left her half empty bowl of food and come to examine me. She looked up, met my optics, then jumped up into my lap.

Not moving at all seemed like a good idea, so I became as still as possible. She balanced on my slippery frame plating, turned around several times then curled up in a surprisingly compact ball, her stiff narrow tail wrapped tightly around her.

"That's a first," Clearout mused. "I don't think she jumped into Butcher's lap until he'd been here a few dozen times."

"It must be a femme thing," Butcher said playfully. "They stick together."

* * *

When we went back to Butcher's apartment I had a whole queue of questions waiting for the medic.

"How long does a femme carry a sparkling?" I stretched out on the couch I'd be recharging on.

"It varies depending on the size of the femme, but the larger ones are usually faster than small femmes." Butcher sat across from me in his chair, finishing his energon cube from the morning. "You're a medium sized femme, in case you didn't know. Some of the big ones were taller than me. They'd only take thirty or forty stellar cycles. The really small femmes can take up to a vorn."

Jesus Crisis. Who could stand being pregnant that long?

"How big is a sparkling when it's born?"

"Very tiny, especially if a medic isn't present to give it a protoform upgrade. A sparkling that's forced to grow its own will usually take vorns to catch up to a protoformed sparkling of the same age."

I doubted Curia's sparkling had a medic's help, poor thing. Maybe Ratchet would be able to do something about it.

"Do femmes have a… response to sparklings? A pull, like they can feel it calling to their… um, sparks?"

Butcher gave me an appraisingly look. "Have you felt that before?"

Nodding, I rolled onto my side, my head pillowed on one arm. "Just before I got myself beaten to bits and Skywarp saved me. It made my spark sing."

Butcher smiled warmly at that. "If I recall correctly, about a quarter of the femme population had an intense mothering instinct. They usually went into caretaking."

"Huh. Too bad, I picked stabbing mechs professionally instead."

Butcher chuckled. "I'm nearly a hundred percent sure you'll have a sparkling of your own to exercise that sparksong. Especially if you and Skywarp keep up at the rate you're going."

Butcher had finally managed to really embarrass me. "Um, it's not… like that, just yet. We're not mates, but… he promised."

"How did you meet Skywarp?" Butcher asked suddenly. "I don't mean to pry, but it's just so unlikely that a Seeker would turn around like he seems to have done."

"He saved me from kidnappers," I said truthfully. "At first I was scared of him. I didn't know if I should be grateful or afraid, so I was a little of both. Then… one day, he let the Autobots capture him in order to save me. He didn't fly for a long time because of me."

"I can't imagine the torture that must be to a flyer," Butcher said empathetically.

"I can," I assured. "Later, he fought his own brother when Starscream wanted to catch me for an experiment. That sort of sealed the deal for me."

"Why?" Butcher didn't sound skeptical, just seemed to want more. At first I thought I'd dodge the question, but the medic was doing me a huge favor by giving me a safe place to live and work.

"Well… he fought for me, even though he couldn't have thought I really cared about him… after some things that happened." Repeatedly running away with the Autobots. "And after I woke up, he opened up to me a little. I realized there was more to him than a big mean Decepticon… And I was right."

Butcher was quiet, thinking it over, I supposed, until he looked up from his cube. "Care to take a shot at the data pads again? You're making progress."

I sat up slowly, trying not to groan. Butcher was a patient teacher; so far he hadn't lost his temper, but I had a feeling I was a slow learner.

He smiled faintly as he went and picked out a data pad from the short shelf against the wall. He'd borrowed this one from another medic, since he didn't have anything basic enough to teach with.

This story was apparently about a youngling named Lucky and his efforts to find his special talent. Butcher had dutifully read it to me in its entirety, and at the end the little youngling finds out he doesn't have one, but instead he's smart and fun and he has lots of friends. Typical self-esteem booster.

"Do you remember the basic characters of the alphabet?" Butcher asked.

"Yeah…" I spouted them off. It'd taken us a while to figure out that if Butcher taught me out loud rather than through silent touch communications I learned more effectively.

He sat down next to me and listened to my recitation approvingly. I took the data pad and angled it so that we could both see. I struggled with the latest chapter of the story, and Butcher had to help me. At one point I sighed and put the data pad down, dropping my head against Butcher's shoulder.

"This sucks," I grumbled. "Isn't there some cool download that'll teach me?"

Butcher laughed. "You're stuck with me, missy."

Pitching myself away, I flopped back on the couch. "Can we call it a night? My processor's fried."

"Quitter," he said playfully, taking the data pad and returning it to the shelf.

"Tired," I rebutted. It was true; Pinch and Butcher shared a tenaciously optimistic attitude, and my desire to seem happy too was putting on a strain on my rather gloomy attitude. It'd been less than a week since Skywarp left, but I wanted him back.

One plus was that Hot Rod had refused to interface with Sideswipe since I'd stopped interfacing with Skywarp. Something told me it was sympathy for my recent experience with Dirge.

Hot Rod was a mystery to me. He was still spending time with Sideswipe, I could always tell when he was with the other twin because it gave Hot Rod a huge sense of relief and acceptance. In the last few days, Hot Rod had been spending time with someone else.

Someone he loved. It was a pained sort of love, reminding me of my own fear that Skywarp hadn't loved me back.

Who could Hot Rod love, though? I didn't think he was interested in mechs…

He couldn't be falling for a human, could he? It was possible, I grudgingly admitted. He'd fallen in love with me, hadn't he? Did I know her?

Was I _jealous?_

Butcher put his empty energon cube back in the kitchenette, then dimmed the lights as he headed for his room. He'd tried to get me to take the bed, but I'd hated the idea of him being uncomfortable when he was doing so much for me. I'd insisted on the couch: I fit better on it than he did.

* * *

Hot Rod hadn't meant to spend so much time with Mikaela. He'd gone to her to talk about what had happened to Bravura, and he'd been having such a good time that he'd asked for leave. Ratchet actually supported it, after all of the trauma…

Everyone had been looking at him strangely since Bravura's rape. It pained him that they all knew what had happened to her, since he doubted she'd want the pity anymore.

He couldn't exactly prevent their knowing, however. He'd been transferred to Ratchet's temporary med station after he'd pushed her back into her own body. His injuries had been bad, but of the easily repaired variety. Ratchet had moved on to one of Arcee's damaged bodies when the terror in Bravura had started to leak into him.

He'd been an unwilling emotional spectator in her experience, and he'd known almost right off the bat that he'd made a mistake pushing he back. He could've kept her mind safe with him, as he'd once done with her memories. Forget the complications that would have resulted in if they'd killed her body… She would've been safe.

Instead, she'd been terrorized. He'd winced on the table when she'd experienced a burst of pain, and then the chilling fear of Dirge's power. After hours of her despair, the constant dull worry had burst into outright animal panic. He'd found himself gasping, vents bursting intermittently, with each new shock of terror.

Then the pain. He'd felt it in his own neck, could almost imagine Dirge striking her. His dread had been buried under her wild flight instinct, but then Dirge had done the worst he could've.

He'd sparked with Bravura. The femme's resistance had filled her spark, and consequently Hot Rod's, with knives of pain, razoring into both their cores and immediately breaking the control he'd been maintaining. He'd rolled off of the table and writhed on the floor, clutching his chest and trying not to scream.

In essence Dirge had also raped Hot Rod. Ratchet had been completely unable to ease the smaller mech's suffering until Bravura threw herself into blessed unconciousness. A crowd had gathered to watch and worry about the Vanquish.

Everyone had wanted to know what was wrong, so when he'd quietly explained to Ratchet what had happened they heard and spread the word.

Mirage had been there. Hot Rod had seen the fury in the blue mech's optics, the way his hands curled into fists… The Intelligence Officer had turned sharply and walked away.

Of course he was furious. Mirage had loathed the Seekers even before Skywarp had lured Bravura away. The Vanquish wondered which mech Mirage hated most at that point: Dirge, Skywarp, or Hot Rod.

Hot Rod had wanted to talk to Mikaela about it all. Had he done the right thing, pushing her back into her own body?

Mikaela thought he had. While she was deeply sorry for the experience Bravura had gone through, she didn't think forcing the femme to share a body with her brother would've been any way to live. It was the only thing he could've done.

He'd stayed the night, watching the tiny human working on a car for her father. Mr. Banes was having trouble adjusting to life outside of prison even now. He had yet to make enough to afford a car payment, so Mikaela was fixing up an old junker for him as a gift.

She'd asked him to drive her out of town that night, and they'd sat in the middle of a field of harvested cotton to watch the stars. The feeling of the warm human reclined on his hood had reminded him of Bravura… But Mikaela herself was very different from his sister.

She was used to mechs, she was self assured and witty and she knew exactly who she was… He admired her. He loved Bravura too, but she had a deep-rooted mistrust of herself. She doubted herself too much. Mikaela didn't have that problem.

But his leave was up, and Hot Rod had to say goodbye. It was going to be a cross-country drive to get back to D.C., and the hot pavement of the highway did nothing to clear up his confusing feelings for the human female.

It didn't help that she had a fiancée.

* * *

Mirage was glad Hot Rod was lying low. He really couldn't stand the sight of the red mech right now. He could barely control himself when that insufferable Sideswipe swaggered past him.

Mirage probably should have liked the twin, since he was always throwing himself at the Seekers without abandon… and yet, it only made the Lexus hate him more. The Lamborghini had the benefit of a jet pack, but while Mirage would love to take out his frustrations on one of the flyers he rarely got the chance.

The Lexus just couldn't stop remembering the way Hot Rod had thrashed on the floor, the pained moaning and eventually screaming that had gotten the attention of everyone in the makeshift camp. Mirage snorted as he made his way through the hastily erected tents of the military camp. He needed to drive, to calm down. Nothing was going well, and it was all he could do to keep from exploding at the slightest provocation… But he was better than that.

He didn't care that Hot Rod suffered: he was a soldier. The younger mech has signed up for that kind of thing. Mirage cared about who was suffering with him.

Bravura, the playful and innocent little femme he'd grown so protective of, had been raped. He'd been afraid of something like that happening to her, and he blamed Hot Rod entirely. He should he been able to keep her home and safe. Even with Megatron running amok, Autobot City was the safest place for light years.

He'd thought he was doing the right thing when he'd let her choose Skywarp. He'd wanted so badly to step in, to forbid it and give her the massive list of reasons why… But she'd seemed so happy with the Seeker.

The Seeker. If anyone should have been protecting her, it was him. And he obviously hadn't. Bravura probably didn't even care that it was Skywarp's fault.

Mirage had spent the most time with her out of anyone before she'd gone with Skywarp. He would never admit it to Hot Rod, but he knew he should have suspected something before she ran away… Still. Her brother should have known. She slept in his slagging berth, for Primus' sake! They had to be close.

He knew he was blaming everyone but himself, but he had to cope somehow. The Lexus left the camp behind, transforming and hitting the pavement with a squeal of tires. One of the Arcees watched him go but he wasn't in the mood for the femme's mothering. She couldn't even come to grips with her own problems, how in frell was she going to help him?

He really just wanted Bravura back. She didn't look at him like she expected something horrible out of him. She trusted him, she respected him and yet she still treated him as a friend. She'd accepted Mirage for who he was from the very start.

Some Humans just did that, though. Not all, but enough.

Primus, how he missed her.

* * *

*yawn* yeah, writer's block is really jamming things up in there.


	18. Chapter 18

This is me, copping out. I'd intended to do quite a bit more with Tricora, but I just could not think of anything for it. Then I realized my problem: I changed my original story a bit, effing up my Tricora plans and thusly giving me expectations for this part of the story that just wouldn't fly. So I'm being a bad author and just skipping some time, jumping to my next crazy piece of… craziness. If you can guess what the frell is going on, I give you a gold star.

Short chap, but I have GOT to clean house and since I'm in the Beta business now I really need to clean up a few chaps as well. So this is to satisfy my need to update. I'll get back to my nice hefty chapters next time.

* * *

I shoved the data pad away in disgust. I _knew_ I could learn to read. Frenzy was a wildfire hacker, and that had to require a little decoding. My frame was more or less a clone of the crazy little mech. Why was I having so much slagging trouble? I'd been at it for nearly nearly three orns now but I barely had anything to show for it. Butcher didn't seem surprised at all, though I was more than a little frustrated.

Everything else was going well. Better than 'well' if you asked anyone but me. The medics loved me since I was a willing student, I didn't put out an attitude, and of course I had the obvious social advantage of being the only female in a sea of testosterone. Hmm, I needed to ask Butcher if we even had hormones.

Butcher had seemed disappointed that I'd yet to work on an actual mech, but apparently he'd found something. He'd gone to bed saying there would be something interesting for me to do tomorrow.

'Something interesting' meant I was going to work on one of the medics, Sterling. He and his half brother Ingot were two of the younger medics there.

"It probably explains his willingness to go under the knife: He wants to impress you," Butcher teased.

I sniffed. "You really think anybody can match up to Skywarp?"

"Well in the power category, no. In regards to trustworthiness, a lack of a murder record, a respectable career-"

"Nobody matches up to Skywarp," I stubbornly insisted.

"If you say so," Butcher sighed as he opened the door for me.

Sterling was there waiting. He was sitting on the exam table, looking faintly awkward. "Feels strange being on this side of the room," he said with a note of nervousness.

"It's going to get worse," Butcher said wryly. "I want to keep you awake for it."

Sterling grimaced. "Nobody said anything about being conscious."

"I'll be careful," I said weakly. I hadn't planned on Sterling being able to talk through it either.

Butcher went to Sterling, who let himself flop back pitifully. "Be gentle," he joked.

* * *

My alt mode was a joke. It was too big for me, and while I loved the loose fit while I was actually using it I hated it in my robot mode. It was overlapped in dozens of places, giving me a bulky, jagged and ribbed appearance. My wings were once again folded artfully against my back, except for the fins that would normally be sticking straight up from my tail. Those were set at the back of my thighs and gently flared out lengthwise, giving my lower half a sense of weight it didn't have.

Everyone said it was interesting, that they liked it. It wasn't until Ingot had offered to paint the plating in medic colors that I actually gave the mode a chance… I'd never imagined myself in white before, but it would be an interesting foil against Skywarp's black.

So now I was a big white ribbedy femme with a red cross on each wing, with more bright crimson from the knees down as well as in other strategic places Ingot had figured out himself. Belatedly I realized that he'd matched my paintjob to his, but since it looked nice I didn't complain.

Despite the new look and no matter what Butcher thought, I made a poor medic. In the four months I'd been learning I'd managed to put Sterling into such a bad state that Butcher had been forced to take over twice. After the first session we'd all agreed that it would be best if we put our guinea pig medic in stasis, since I was apparently a chronic rough touch.

I was fast, though. As soon as Butcher showed me what to do, I could get it done just as quickly. His work always looked smooth, elegant and refined, while mine was often lumpy and rough. Everybot in the hospital said it came with practice.

The fifth month, I began to worry. Skywarp hadn't come back yet. He'd _promised._

Every time a door opened, be it at the hospital or at Butcher's, I'd look up with what had to be the most pitiful hope. The medics had taken to giving me apologetic looks and I began to think some were even avoiding me.

The sixth month, I began to seriously considering going to look for him. Butcher and I had been walking home when he nudged me gently. I looked down from the dark sky to the ex mercenary.

"What?"

"Your look says 'wanderlust.' You aren't thinking about going, are you?"

When I didn't answer him, he sighed. "If you miss flying, I'd be happy to let you have a few shifts to get it out of your system… If you miss him, though… I don't think you'll find a Seeker who doesn't want to be found."

I snorted. "He wouldn't avoid me."

"Even so, if he got himself into a mess he can't handle there's no way you could get him out of it. Stay in Tricora, where he can at least find you."

It was hard, but I took the white and red mech's advice with a grain of salt.

Later that night, I went outside and switched on my Decepticon frequency.

_**Skywarp,**_I called, using his English approximation. _**Skywarp, come back.**_

After ten minutes there was no response except for the angry cursing of a Decepticon I'd disturbed. I ignored him and went back inside.

For an entire week I tried to contact him. Seven times, and each time he left me wanting. Was he too far away, or was he really just ignoring me?

Month seven had just begun when my first real patient ever came in. The hospital rarely saw mechs who were bad enough to put in stasis without being critical. This fellow, a mech who spent his days directly plugged into a construction system controlling the machines that built space station parts off planet, had suffered a complete shutdown when one of the machines had spontaneously exploded. Nobody could wake him up, so they brought him to Tricora.

Butcher had set me to the simple task of replacing fried wiring when I'd seen a spark leap from one wire to the next. His body jerked, then shuddered to stillness. I felt a spike of fear: Had I hurt him? Was he worse off now?

I looked nervously to the door. My teacher was taking care of a routine checkup, trusting me to do my job well. He'd be back soon, but… What if I killed him? I continued to work, anxiety niggling at the back of my processor, until I heard the door slide open.

"Butcher, I need you to look the bot over, he jumped earlier…"

"I thought I recognized the flavor of your fear."

Terror paralyzed for several long seconds. The velvet in the mech's voice, which might have sounded so good coming out of anyone else, was the last thing I ever wanted to hear.

Snatching up a laser scalpel from the table, I spun around to face Dirge. "Get out," I snarled.

"Nice paintjob," the Seeker purred. "Not that ugly gray from the first time I had you… I could pretend you were a whole different femme next time." He eased into the room, turning slightly to fit his wings.

I gripped the laser scalpel so tightly that it broke in my palm. I cursed, threw it aside and extended my knives, which were still their natural chrome.

"No need for this," a raspy voice said from behind the Seeker. A smallish mech flowed in behind the giant, but he was wearing what appeared to be a hood and cloak made out of organic materials. He was radiating a feeling, a horribly _wrong_ feeling. I shivered, battling with the urge to run.

Dirge chuckled. "You'll get used to Divebomb… or maybe you won't."

"What do you want?" I managed to grind out.

"That's more like it," the small figure, Divebomb, rasped. "We can all be reasonable… I have an offer for you, Bravura."

"I don't accept," I said, glancing back at the mech on the table. He was stable. Dirge had never asked my name, how did Divebomb know it?

"Don't be hasty," the hooded mech chided. "You have created a predicament for me, my dear."

"I've never seen you before in my life." I would remember that hideous unnatural feeling if I had.

"True, but I've seen you. In fact, I've made you a bit of a hobby ever since Devcon found you stumbling about that organic-infested space port."

I gasped. "What are you talking about?"

"Devcon works for me, darling." He was talking to me like I was a very small, very slow child. "Or rather, he did. He collected my Decepticons, and I paid him in blood money. Quite the irony."

"How so?" I looked around quickly for a weapon that could damage the Seeker, a sonic drill or a magnetic pulsative but there was nothing within reach.

"He was helping me build a better race, young femme. And yet he hates the Decepticons so… So many of his targets are much more formidable now than they ever could have dreamed of being. Masters of the land, skies and seas! Adaptable, powerful, beautiful!

"But I digress. I have two offers for you. My first offer is perhaps the easier of the two to accept. Devcon has apparently left my employ. I need a new collector, and seeing that you were under his watchful eye for nearly a stellar cycle, you are his obvious replacement."

"No."

Divebomb sighed under the cloak. "In that case, your only option is to join the ranks of the enlightened and reformed. You see, I know quite a bit about you… The story you told Ultra Magnus was simply fascinating. Frenzy is a hardy little creature, and I have great confidence in your survival."

"What are you talking about?" I hissed, panicking. I was torn between praying for Butcher's help and for him to stay far away. Dirge was too dangerous.

Divebomb made a frustrated motion with one hand. "Do I have to spell out the nitty gritty details? I'm going to upgrade you, and then I'm going to see if your upgraded form can breed."

Oh, frell no.

I leaped between the two mechs, for a moment believing I was just too fast from them to catch. I pressed my back to the door while it slid open, flashing my knives at the two mechs before slipping into the hall. My self-assurance and my intentions of running, finding Butcher or luring the creepy Cons out of the hospital disappeared in a flash.

Medics were lined up in the hallway, many held at gunpoint by more fundamentally _wrong_ mechs. There were a few normal ones, but the wrong ones wore organic cloaks like Divebomb. Whatever it was about them that was bothering me escaped me, but the look of horror on the nearest medic face struck me right to the spark.

Unintentionally I glanced off of the doorframe across the hall, used the spin to face down the other hall. It was the same that way. Two freaky mechs down one, three down the other. A quick check for signatures told me that they were crawling through the hospitals like ants. How had I missed this?

Dirge flowed out of the door behind me, forcing me to retreat several steps. He sneered when I twisted to face him but he didn't attack me. The smaller Divebomb followed. His eyes flashed at me under the hood, orangey red… my whole body shuddered in some kind of instinctive disgust.

He watched me with satisfaction until I couldn't take it anymore. It didn't help that Dirge was giving me a dose of faint fear: I ran in the opposite direction. One of the wrong mechs tried to stop me, but I deflected his grab and managed to sling him into the wall.

A smart bot would've considered all of the guns and innocent mechs involved. A smart bot would've been more careful.

But I'm not very smart.

A gunshot sounded behind me, but it wasn't until I heard metal sliding to the ground that the icy realization came to me. I looked back just before I turned the corner, saw white paint splashed with blue as Ingot crumpled.

"No!" I screamed, turning back.

"I suggest you stop thrashing about so aimlessly," the creeper king rustled. "It may prove painful for your friends."

I rushed to Ingot, the only moving thing in the still hall. He wasn't dead, but he would if we didn't get him a transfusion and rejoin those lines, they led to his secondary-

"I'm afraid we don't have time for that," the mech hissed over me.

"He's dying!" I screamed fiercely, calling up my repair equipment and diving into my work. Ingot wasn't going to go because of me.

For once, I was glad of my quick and rough patch jobs. I actually managed to get the biggest two lines back together, buying Ingot precious moments, when a long fingered hand gripped me painfully by the shoulder and yanked me away from my fallen coworker.

"No!" I snarled, putting away my repair kit to slash at the fingers with my knife. He let go with that hand, only to grip me around my narrow waist as terror shuddered into me.

My body stiffened then only responded to me weakly. I trembled as I tried to break Dirge's grip, but he only laughed.

_I missed you,_ his sent, his tone taking on a liquid gloss with his satisfaction. _Maybe later, we can become reacquainted._

My body betrayed me and let out a frightened wail. The logical shreds of my mind were left fighting the fear and hating my weakness.

"Bravura!"

Butcher was standing at the end of the hall, holding the biggest stasis projector we had.

"Don't Butcher," I whimpered. "They'll kill them!"

His optics darted down the Ingot's fallen body and the glowing energon pooling slowly around him. He was more frustrated and angry than I'd ever seen him.

"She's quite right," the creeper king crackled delightedly. "I'm afraid I am quite willing to kill everyone in this hospital."

"What do you want?" Butcher asked confidently. I imagined he'd been in standoffs like this before, negotiating with pirates on merchant ships in hostage situations…

"Just this femme," the hooded mech said pleasantly. "Nothing to be concerned about, really."

What was I going to do? I couldn't risk the death of mech's who had helped me, joked with me, protected me from prying optics… No matter how much the idea of letting it happen sickened me, my life wasn't worth more than the medics'.

"It's ok, Butcher." My voice shook and I mentally cursed.

"No it is not!" He'd gotten a hold of himself, his expression carefully menacing. "I won't let them walk out of here with you!"

"He's a Seeker, Butcher. They've got mech's all over the hospital. I have to go."

_Good femme,_ Dirge purred to me silently. _Tell him you want to go._

I shook my head, trembling as Dirge caressed me with another wave of emotion.

_Tell him you liked me so much you're going back for seconds._

"No!" I screamed, twisting my head to glare at the Seeker. "I'll go, that's enough!"

"Bravura…" Butcher's grip on the stasis projector loosened and then released altogether. He immediately had a regular mech holding a gun to his helm.

"We'll be going, then," Divebomb chirped. "No hard feelings."

"Thanks for everything, Butcher," I said as Dirge set me down and shoved me to follow Divebomb.

He was looking at me like I was already dead. It was too hard, so I looked down at the floor, avoiding the pained optics of the other medics.

Dirge's hand fell heavily on my shoulder.

_Soon._

His power curled into my system like a heavy mantle, making each of my steps unsteady. The walls of the hospital closed in around me as I tried not to think about what was happening. I was trying even harder not to blame Skywarp. If he'd come back, he would have been able to find me no matter where these bastards took me. But now?

* * *

R & R lovelies. Serrsly.


	19. Chapter 19

Stole FTL straight outta Battlestar Galactica, which I don't own, though I would gladly have Michael Trucco's babies. Stands for 'faster than light.' Totally didn't intend for this chapter to go in this direction, but it did and I like it.

It's gonna get sort of Stockholm Syndrome, so if you've ever been in a situation like that, you might not respond well to his chapter. It's got adult themed stuff going on, so if you are underage help yourself to a nice apple and skip the dirty. Good music for the adult theme (when Dirge shuts the door!) is Shaken by Shiny Toy Guns.

* * *

The ship they were using was huge, dark and shaped like a stooping hawk. It loomed over Tricora, taller than the three-story hospital by at least a couple of floors. Small view ports glowed faintly with inside light.

Dirge was bending over me slightly as we walked so that he could reach my wings. Clawed fingers played down my left partway, back up my right. His grip on my shoulder prevented me from jerking away, closer to the loathsome Divebomb. The worst part was that despite the horror his mind was inflicting on mine, I was _enjoying_ how he was touching me. He, like Skywarp, knew exactly what he was doing.

_Please stop,_ I sent through his touch, trying to appeal to his dominating nature. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to stop scaring me, or stop touching me…

_Isn't fear a superior medium for pleasure to grow from? They combine so delightfully. All the nonsense of being _comfortable_ when one takes a partner… _

_You seemed pretty comfortable to me,_ I couldn't help but snap as we stepped into the ship

_Did I? Maybe, if you're good, I'll tell you how my ability works. But I have a feeling you'll be bad._

_I'm going to do my __**damnedest**__ to kill you._

His fingers curled round my wing and rubbed. The electric friction made me misstep, but the big mech held me upright until I had my footing again.

_What language is that? You used it before. What does __**no**__ mean?_

The tension must have cracked me a little, because I burst out into a short, sharp laugh. Divebomb looked back quizzically before returning to his own thoughts. _**No**__ means no, Dirge. It means get your great rusty claws off of me._

To my great shock he let me go, not only physically but with his power as well. It felt like a monumental weight had been lifted off of me, so I straightened from the slump I'd unconsciously adopted.

Suddenly I was aware that Divebomb had removed his hood and he was facing me. I winced and stepped back, bumping into the Seeker behind me, jerked forward again, then settled for sliding against the wall.

He was… smooth. I had a difficult time describing it any other way. He looked melted, incomplete, like someone had started a plastic sculpture and left the unfinished piece in the sun. He was primarily dark red, with the strangest black wings curling up behind him. Traces of yellow splashed him with bright color… One of those bits of yellow reminded me distinctly of a beak. His metal was patterned all over, giving him an almost feathery look in some places. His orangey optics glowed, but there were more like opaque marbles than real optics… Almost like stony eyes.

"Now Dirge, we've talked about this," the freakish mech said pleasantly. "Do avoid terrorizing our guest. Hmm, terrorize…"

He seemed highly distracted, started to turn away. At last the last minute he looked over his shoulder. "See her to her room. Do what you will, but if you damage her you'll have Sunstorm to answer to."

Dirge waited until Divebomb was gone, then growled behind me. I jumped, then turned to look at the big mech.

He looked down at me irritably. "You'll have Sunstorm to answer to," he mocked in a grating tone. "Sunstorm is a fancy runt. Nothing special about him except his upgrade, and I can tell you right now he couldn't beat a Seeker in a dogfight."

"Why do you have to answer to him?" I asked cautiously.

"He's Divebomb's little pet. Real religious nut. First mech Divebomb ever managed to upgrade without killing him first. The way that creepy fragger goes through bots, it's worse than anything we ever did."

I snorted. "You're working for him, though."

Dirge gestured for me to start moving, so I did. "You know how long Megatron's been missing? I figure the old slagger's dead and gone, and I don't feel like starting up my own army of misery. So when Divebomb gave me two choices, I chose the first one."

"What was it?"

"Find a femme. It's harder than the rumors make it sound. I've brought him a few, but he's killed them all."

"So that's why you were at the arena. And why you took me alive."

"Right. Nothing personal."

I sighed. I didn't want to humanize Dirge. I wanted Dirge to stay evil and empty and flat, but he was forcing me to see him in different light. Was he doing it intentionally?

He took me to an elevator, which carried us to another level. We were about to step out when the ship's lighting darkened and I got a sensation so akin to human nausea that I bent over clutching my abdomen.

I felt Dirge's hand touch my back and I stumbled away, not wanting the big mech to take advantage of me in my sudden weakness. He let me hit the opposite wall without a fight.

"It's the cloak. It does that to Dreadwind too. You probably won't like the FTL either."

"The… the what?"

"It's how Divebomb's bots can be everywhere at once, or seem to be. Feel that?"

I stood hunched, hands on my knees and trying to figure out what he was talking about. The floor had the faintest sort of vibration too it, like someone had set the whole ship on a paint can mixer…

"Get ready," the Decepticon told me. "You might want to hold on to something."

"Like what, the wall?" I looked up at Dirge just in time to see him almost smile.

"Or me."

I growled. "Look, you may have forgotten, but I'm still pretty pissed about the whole _rape_ thing, and I don't care for all of this-"

The floor stretched and flexed, everything seemed to pull thin and drag me sideways. I stumbled against it, surprised when there was nothing actually pulling me. The floor, my sense of vertigo all suddenly returned to normal and I nearly tripped. Dirge once again caught me.

"I can promise you," Dirge began with a tinge of wounded pride, "that once Sunstorm gets his hooks in you you'll wish you'd been saddled with me. He's _twisted._"

I straightened up quickly, breaking Dirge's contact. "Coming from the mech who thinks it's hot to scare a femme senseless before he forces her chassis open!"

Terror flared into me out of nowhere and I cringed under the furious Seeker's glare. The elevator door was open, and a couple of mechs were staring in at us with interest. They were both _wrong_, melted and filmy like Divebomb. Did one of them have _fur?_

"What are you looking at?" The Seeker roared, his voice losing its usual smoothness. I flinched, even though he wasn't yelling at me. The mechs backed up rapidly, getting out of the way. Dirge grabbed my arm and yanked me out of the elevator, tugging me behind him as he took off at a fast clip. I had to trot to keep up with his longer stride, but the big mech didn't seem to care.

"You have no idea what a raw deal this is," Dirge snarled down at me. "Sure, I'm right under Sunstorm for the aerial wing, sure I get all the energon and all the repairs and maintenance I could want, but I finally manage to find a decent femme, a _flyer_, and I have to give her over to that maniac? Tell me how that makes sense! It could've been any femme at all, but it just had to be a flyer. Not just a flyer, an interstellar flyer!"

He kept saying he had to hand me to Sunstorm. Like I'd belong to him, whoever he was. Dirge had said… I groaned suddenly.

"He's like Divebomb and those others, isn't he. Something's wrong with them."

"It's their _upgrade_. He's been calling them Predacons after his old team, but I don't know if it'll last."

"What does it do to them?"

"All kinds of freaky slag. That hairy one back there has an animal for an alt mode. So does Divebomb."

I dug my heels in, unable to stop Dirge from pulling me on, but my hopping got his attention.

"An animal?"

"Yes. A big smelly organic _animal._ Divebomb thinks it's the future, I think it's a disgrace."

I gaped at the big mech until he pulled me onwards again, more gently than before.

"He's going to upgrade me," I said with a shudder.

Dirge squeezed my shoulder in a way that might have been comforting from another mech. "Lucky for you, the bots who aren't sure they want it die. All of them. The ones who really want it only die most of the time."

"The fact that I'm going to die makes me lucky?"

"No-o-o, it means that he won't try it on you. Not at first. He'll get in your head first, and he'll use Sunstorm to do it. You can't trust that slagger."

Dirge stopped at a door in the hall and palmed the glowing pad. Why was he giving me advice?

"Go on," he grumbled, flicking his wrist to power me towards the dark room. "We've got a few more jumps, but the FTL has to charge every time."

I let myself stumble into the small room but looked back at the Seeker. "Don't let them do this to me," I pleaded.

He scowled. "What am I supposed to do about it?"

"You're the Seeker," I said. "Aren't you supposed to be bigger, better, faster, stronger, smarter than every other bot?"

"Not for your sake, femme." He started to reach for the pad when I tried again.

"Dirge," I whimpered. All my helplessness funneled into the word, and I loathed what I was trying to do… but what else was there?

He hesitated, looked at me for a long time. "What am I supposed to do about it?" he repeated more gently, the silk in his voice at full strength. He stepped into my room and shut it behind him.

"Just leave the door open when you go. I'll find my own way out."

"You'll never make it," he said, crossing the room to me. I backed away instinctively, bubbles of my own fear rising up and making me want to hyperventilate. He reached for me, brushed his knuckles under my chin. "Your fear," he said abruptly, "is mine. I feel every bit that I deal out. I found out a long, long time ago that if someone was afraid when I took her, I felt the pleasure right along with it. It rode with the fright.

"You, you fought so hard that it almost wasn't worth it. The pain was only an echo, but… Don't fight me. Just despair."

Backfire. My needing him had turned him on, not inspired some kind of protective instinct.

His claws trailed down my neck. "It's hard to imagine the femme under all of this plating," he murmured, bending low as if to smell me. "I prefer them small." Without warning he grabbed onto my plating and worked it loose. I trembled, back to the wall now, as piece after piece fell to the floor, until most of my upper body and arms were free of the heavy alt mode. He spun me around and did the same to my back, leaving my wings.

There was a pause in his work, but then his hands curled around my wings, stroked up them. I had a brief moment of insanity as I wondered if that was what it felt like for a human male to get a handjob and laughed weakly against the wall.

Dirge was kneeling down now, his mouth close to my neck. He leaned in and bit the nape, then the crook where my neck met my shoulder. I shivered as his hand continued to massage my wings, applying the most incredible pressure.

I was actually starting to respond to the big mech despite myself when a burst of alarm hit me. He clamped down slightly on my wings when I gave a little sob and tried to slide away sideways.

"You can't run," he purred against the back of my helm. "Don't fight me."

Hot Rod was outraged. We'd been passive emotional observers for some time, neither of us going through anything worth real attention. He got into a few fights, but nothing that worried him more than usual. My life at Tricora had been so calm and easy… and now he felt the unusual waves of trepidation, the despair… He probably knew what was happening.

Dirge slowly turned me around, gripping my chin to make me look at him. "I like you," he assured me as his other hand trailed down my chest. "So responsive… It's almost as if you're afraid of being afraid," he said with a chuckle.

"I hate you," I gasped as he licked near where the lock to my chest was hidden. My spark was responding hideously, actually trembling in excitement. It sensed his spark, and it… it wanted him.

"We have time to waste," he purred as he nuzzled against my neck, nipping in time with little bursts of artificial fear. "Remember, if you don't fight… you might like it."

I clicked in response, unable to beat back the infantile crying. Dirge clucked electronically and lifted his head up, stroking the side of my face.

"I won't hurt you," he cooed. "Not unless you make me. Fear is a living creature, little femme, but it only bites if you make it…"

He studied my expression, which was almost certainly pitiful. He leaned in close, pushing a whimper out of me even as his lips locked against mine.

"I'm doing you a favor," he whispered as he pulled away. He tugged me away from the wall so that he could reach my wings, and to my great embarrassment I pressed against the big mech with a moan. My spark pounded against its casing as it tried again and again to reach Dirge's. Traitor!

"How?" I barely managed to sigh out. My voice trembled, but there was a small sliver of myself that was embracing what was happening with far too much enthusiasm.

"Sunstorm will play mind games with you. He makes bots believe in him. I don't know how he does it, but… after I'm done with you, you'll never be afraid of fear again. He at least won't win there."

Both of his big hands were caressing my wings and I was pressing against him just to keep myself standing. He did something that made my nerves tingle wildly with pleasure even as I cried in response to the terror he was immersing me in.

Through the haze of shivering ecstasy I watched Dirge lift my limp arms and flip open the wrist guards, exposing my ports and wiring. It was all too easy to let him plug us into each other. I only began to struggle when he pulled me well away from the wall and started to lower me to the ground.

"Do. Not. Fight," he commanded, caressing my emotions as he pinned me to the ground. I was shivering now, a horrible mixture of spark inspired need and mental exhaustion. He waited until I let my helm hit the hard metal floor, then lowered slightly to nibble at my chest, just around the seams it would open on.

"Remember," he said between nips, "that Sunstorm will do anything to please Divebomb." A lick at my lock wrested a needy whimper from me. "He'll lie to you. You'll believe him, just like all of the others. But you'll be safe as long as you don't agree to the upgrade. Do you understand?"

When I didn't answer immediately he slid up, red optics burning into mine. "You can't agree to the upgrade. You understand? You'll die like the others if you do. You can't agree!"

"I won't," I finally whispered.

"You won't what?" Energy poured slowly through his cables, giving me the shivers.

"I won't agree to the upgrade."

"Why?" He reached up, pulling my wrist with him to stroke my cheek.

"It will kill me."

"Good little femme." He kissed me, his glossa pushing between my lips, and despite the low buzz of fear he was wrapping me in I actually kissed him back. My spark wouldn't be denied anymore… It knew his spark and it wanted it badly.

I sent a tiny curl of energy into him, and he growled approvingly. "That's right," he whispered. "Look through the fear. It can't hurt you…"

"You can," I reminded him as I gave him a more confident flow of energy. "You can kill me before Sunstorm ever lays optics on me."

"But I won't," he said with a finality that told me he was done talking. He flooded me with energy, my ports tingling as my systems sang. I bucked my chest up against his, following the unspoken demands of my spark.

Dirge didn't mock me or the fact that I'd given in. He'd orchestrated it carefully, and probably not for the first time. While I fully hated him for playing me so well, I couldn't help but think his advice was going to be the only thing to help me with Sunstorm.

He leaned away from me and reached to his chest. He opened it and the bright blue glow of his spark seemed to fill the dark room. I reached up without thinking, letting my fingers circle the opening in his chest. No matter how messed up he was, his spark looked beautiful.

While I distracted myself, he opened my chest as well. I looked up at him, not quite sure what my face would read. Hatred? Excitement? Fear? Desire? I felt it all in equal parts. He watched me for what seemed like forever.

"I really hope you don't die," he said quietly, seriously. Then his chest was pressing down to mine and my spark jumped against his in an explosion of thrilling electricity. Dirge's terror drowned me even as I felt myself touch the stars, and what little resistance I had offered up at the very start shriveled away helplessly.

"Don't fight," I told myself out loud, jerking my face against the big mech's neck. "Don't agree to the… the upgrade! Or I'll die!"

The fear receded slightly, not completely, and I managed to gain some control of my trembling limbs. While our sparks seemed to curl together, our cables were alive with wild energy, more than I could've tolerated in a regular interface. Something about the sparking made it reach another level.

The smallest piece of me was mortified. Broken. I was _submitting_ to Dirge. I was giving him the kind of physical connection I should've only had with Skywarp… The only mech I'd ever sparked with was a sadistic coward…

_Skywarp,_ I whimpered silently. I knew Dirge would hear, but I didn't care.

_Why do you cry for him?_ Dirge asked suddenly, his words rapid and distant.

_I love him._

Dirge growled over me, pulled his chest away slightly (my spark screamed) only to slam it down against mine. I yelped in pain, but my spark was only too delighted to rejoin his.

The tiny piece of me that cried for Skywarp suddenly recoiled. What if First Aid and Butcher were right? Could something come of this? Oh, Primus, what if we bonded? Or formed a sparkling? I had no idea what was worse.

"Dirge," I groaned. "Dirge, I don't want-"

The fear, which had taken a sort of backseat to the action, burst to the forefront like an angry bull. I subsided, letting my head fall back against the floor but gripping his arms tightly, trying to hang onto myself…

But it was getting harder. Without the mind splitting pain from my last encounter I could focus on the details and as I let my consciousness sort of ease into my spark I could almost feel him like I could feel Hot Rod. He was mad, and he _was_ afraid, and he was proud and bitter and a multitude of painful emotions that made me want to sympathize with the powerful mech.

"You see," he growled. His fingers curled around my comparatively thin arms, squeezing tightly as our sparks gave each other an especially strong rush of bottled lightning pleasure. He bowed his head, pressed his lips to my forehead.

Primus, I wanted to hate him! But I knew what he was going through now, how could I? He was more messed up emotionally than me, and that was saying something. The growing sympathy I felt for him seemed to surprise him and he let the fear die down to almost nothing as our sparks began to pulse together.

He hit his peak first, dragging me over the edge with him. The energy burst through our cords and chests and exploded in my optics, my toes, my wings... The last thing I was aware of was the most poignant sense of loss from the Seeker, then a blissful darkness.

* * *

He was still there when I woke up. He must've woken up and moved before I did, because our cables with released and my chest was closed. He'd gathered me against his side as he lay on his back, and for one painful moment I pretended he was Skywarp.

"Dirge?" I whispered.

"Yeah."

"What did Skywarp do when I ran away?"

Dirge's chest made a grumbling noise before he spoke. "He smacked Darkwing up, then saw me and let it go. We talked about old times for a while."

I sighed. "So he didn't even kick your aft."

"Nope."

"Figures."

Dirge chuckled, and at his unexpected good mood I realized I couldn't feel his spark in any sense. We hadn't bonded.

"This is probably one of the last time's I'll see you sane," Dirge said, suddenly dark.

I sat up slowly, and the hand he'd left on my waist slipped away to the floor. "If I go crazy, or turn into somebody that isn't me, will you please kill me?"

Dirge looked at me with an odd smile. "You let me get to you, huh? No, I won't be able to. If I get caught putting you out of your misery then it'll be my head next."

"If you helped me, we could both get out of here."

"Stop trying, femme. What did I just teach you? Don't fight. It only makes it worse. Just don't give in, either. There's a difference."

"I always make it worse," I told the mech. "I never should have left Earth." I twitched as a realization hit me. Dirge's trinemates were on Earth… if I told him, would he agree to take me out of here with him? Take me home?

No. If Dirge went to Earth he'd inflict his power on every bot I ever cared about. I couldn't do that to them. Besides, if Dirge wanted to be with his trine he would've gone already.

The floor began to hum softly. Dirge's hand reached to my waist and pulled me back down against him. Being so firmly pressed against both him and the floor made the dragging sensation much easier to tolerate.

It seemed odd that once again following a sparking with Dirge I felt sort of empty, much less emotional than I would've expected. I didn't even feel the anger from last time, no desire for revenge… Somehow Dirge had become my only ally in the army of monsters.

"What's it like, going crazy?" I asked the Seeker after a while.

"How should I know? You'll probably be so out of it that you'll think you're happy. You won't even know the difference."

"That's a comfort." I giggled to myself, a little hysterical bubble of amusement popping over me. "Know what else is a comfort? I've got a slagging Seeker's company for my last joor of sanity." I sighed. "Thanks, I guess. I would be… I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't… whatever you did." Probably angsting, throwing myself against walls and trying to sneak through the ventilation…

"I wondered if you'd see it that way. You're welcome."

"I still hate you."

"How ever will I live with myself," the Seeker said blandly.

"If you see Skywarp, will you tell him where I am?"

Dirge's fingers curled a little tighter around my waist. "I might."

"Why not?"

"Why not, indeed," he sighed. He sat up, pulling me upright with him. "I've got to take care of some things before we get to…" he paused as if he were about to be sick. "Predaca."

"Predaca?"

"Divebomb named the planet he's occupying after his team. Again. Not much for creativity. It's covered in organic life, too. Nothing intelligent, but that might be worse."

He left me sitting on the floor as he went to the door. He looked back at me, the faintest trace of pity in his optics… "Two more jumps, maybe three. I won't see you before Divebomb gives you to Sunstorm. Don't forget what I taught you."

"Wait… Why did you teach me anything? Why help me?" I asked firmly.

"Because you're a flyer," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

The door locked behind the Seeker with a heavy thud of hidden mechanics. I got up and put my plating on with a little difficulty before went to the berth, sliding onto it bonelessly and curling up to face the wall. My energy level was good, about sixty percent (a good 20 percent lower than it had been before sparking), since Butcher had always made a point to give me a cube at least every other shift. Our lack of sun exposure made it necessary.

* * *

Later, the jumps made me feel like I would slide down off of the berth, though I found afterwards that I hadn't moved an inch. I couldn't imagine how someone could get used to that.

A melted mech, mostly greenish with bumply scales here and there, came to get me. He sneered at me. He'd be something like a crocodile, I was sure.

I walked past him into the bright hallway, careful not to touch the mech. He looked like he'd be slimy. The mech pressed a short rifle to my back as I walked, which I tried to ignore. I kept my head high, even when I saw Divebomb waiting at the exit port of the ship.

"Well rested, I trust?" He gave me a fatherly smile, which nearly made me feel sick again.

I didn't answer, just glared as dangerously as I could. When the mech behind me jabbed with his rifle I gave my best Skywarp growl, which wasn't nearly so intimidating as his.

"No need for hostility," Divebomb said, raising his hands in a placatory gesture. "We'll be spending quite a bit of time in each other's company, so it's best you begin the process of adjusting."

"Ok," I grumbled.

"There, there." His hand patted down on my shoulder once and I began to flinch away, but the sound of a trigger squeezing ever so slightly made me freeze and accept the vile touch. "You'll settle right in, I promise."

Divebomb turned and began to make his way out of the ship and I was made to follow along behind. There was a bright whiteness beyond the ship, and for a moment I thought someone was pointing a spotlight at us, but then I stepped out into it and was briefly blinded. I covered my optics until I began to make out details: a horizon, some tall top-heavy structure, a faded bluish ground, which was soft and feathery to the touch.

Grass? I hadn't felt grass in so long. That tall building was actually a gigantic tree of a size to put a redwood to shame. Divebomb was crossing the grass to meet a mech with the characteristic narrow waist and digitigrade legs of a flyer. He seemed to glow in the bright sun, and as everything else gained color in my adjusting optics he revealed himself to be a vibrant yellow, with small bits of orange or maybe red.

Divebomb turned to stand next to the flyer and gestured to me. The flyer approached me confidently, stopping a comfortable distance from me.

"Welcome to Predaca," he said with a controlled tenor. He was big, not so big as Skywarp or the other Seekers… but something about him made me suspect he wasn't at his full size yet. He couldn't be more than twenty two or twenty three feet.

Once again I refused to speak. He didn't seem surprised.

"My name is Sunstorm. I will be your companion here."

Gritting my denta, I balled my hands into fists and once again remained silent.

"Do you have a name?" Sunstorm asked.

"Not for your use," I said carefully.

Sunstorm seemed amused. "That's just fine. I'm sure you'll share it with me soon enough."

"Not likely," I said quietly.

"What a lovely couple you make," Divebomb said cheerfully, coming up next to Sunstorm. "Sunstorm, you'll show her the nest, won't you? She flies, after all."

"Of course," Sunstorm said respectfully.

"She seems to have a bit of fight in her, so don't let her wonder of. Don't want her getting blasted to bits by the OSM, do we?"

"OSM?" I asked reluctantly.

"Orbital Security Mainframe," Sunstorm supplied. "It's our first defense, and the best reason I can give you for not trying to leave the planet."

"Primus," I grumbled.

More quickly than I could comprehend Sunstorm lashed out and struck me, his passive face suddenly furious.

"Never, and I will repeat, _never_ use Primus's name in vain."

I reached up and touched my face where I could swear the metal was still vibrating. "What the frag is wrong with you?"

Sunstorm looked as if he were about to hit me again when Divebomb intervened. He gave the bigger flyer a hard look before turning his attention to me.

"You'll have to forgive him. He's very passionate in his beliefs. You would do well to avoid cursing."

My mouth clamped shut before it could start catching flies, which seemed to be abundant here, coming up in brief clouds before settling back into the long bluish grass with every light gust of wind. Of all the rules to crack down on me… I couldn't _cuss?_ I looked up with a frustrated sigh. The sky was blue.

* * *

Yep. Tell me whatcha think, lovelies.


	20. Chapter 20

I don't own any of the copyrighted stuff in this story : (

Some of you seem cool with the last chap, some of you seemed about ready to beat the tar out of Brav, and at least one reviewer had several questions that started with Why?

Hopefully ya'll will forgive Brav for her infidelity (gotta remember, not only does she feel rather abandoned by Skywarp, who promised to come back and didn't, but she didn't have a whole lot of choice with Dirge Round 2)

Sunstorm's scripture is gonna be out of Shakespeare. Yes, Shakespeare is God in my fanfic. I don't own God/Shakespeare. I'm going to underline the quotes so you don't think I'm smarter than I am.

* * *

"You're flight-capable?" Sunstorm asked.

"Yes." His melted looks weren't as eerie as Divebomb's or the lizardy mech, but he was still very wrong.

"Then follow me."

"Do have a good time," Divebomb said with a wave.

I glared at him before following Sunstorm's leap into the air with my own. He was already heading out at a fast pace so I followed. There was no point in running if their defense system would just blow me up on my way out.

He looked like a large predatory bird, but his alt mode didn't actually seem organic. It shone and glinted in the light, glossy and metallic.

There were more giant trees like the one I'd seen before. I also saw a few big animals, probably the size of rhinos or more. There were smaller herd animals dotting the bluish grass as well, though in many places the long grass all but swallowed the little animals. We were heading into a forest of the same giant trees, sprouting dramatically from the waving plains.

Sunstorm flew below the tree line, something I never would've done on my own. My suspicions, born of Devcon's paranoia and constant nagging, were that a mech could only too easily climb one of these big trees and fire off a great shot from up there… But if the yellow bird mech was flying low I had to as well.

The trees got bigger the farther we went, as well as closer together. I began to get nervous, wishing for open air, but he cleared the trees easily enough. It surprised me that my alt mode was nearly as large as his… I'd really miscalculated when I chose the F-35 back on Earth.

Sunstorm banked sharply around a tree and I heard the sound of metal clanking against itself as I blew past. I transformed and used my thrusters to get myself turned around, looking for the Predacon. He'd transformed and landed on a heavily supported platform wrapped around half of one of the massive trunks. I flew back to the platform and landed lightly, glaring at the mech. His eyes were round, flat and reminiscent of marbles, like Divebomb's. I grimaced and looked away.

"The nest is hidden in the canopy. It's my home."

"You live in a tree house."

"You could call it that. I don't usually get to entertain company."

I crossed my arms over my chest, unable and unwilling to wipe the scowl off of my face. "Oh?"

"My guests don't usually fly. Divebomb is the only flight capable mech who likes to visit."

"Yeah, I guess all the femmes you've gone through before me couldn't make it up here."

The quick glance I stole at the yellow mech told me I'd irritated him with my knowledge. "No, they couldn't make it up here. I wish things could have been different for them."

"I don't think you gave a- I don't think you cared about any of them," I accused, curling my hands into fists.

"I loved them all in different ways, but it's best not to speak of them."

"They're dead."

"When beggars die there are no comets seen."

"What are you saying?" I growled. Was he implying the dead femmes were worthless?

"Primus, in his great love, left us holy scriptures. What that particular Word means is that they were no great loss. In dying, they failed Primus in his great plan for us."

"How dare you!" I snarled, extending my knives. With a start I realized all of my systems were still running. They'd forgotten to cut off my transmissions equipment! I immediately booted up my emergency line.

_Neutral Bravura to any Autobots, frell, ANYBOT, I am in grave need of assistance! Please-_

Sunstorm grabbed me, faster than a striking snake, and slammed me against the tree trunk so hard I nearly blacked out. He yanked open my plating and my locked chassis, wired himself into my systems and shut down my communications in less than thirty seconds. He also shut down my weapons. I retracted my knives even though they were unaffected by the shutdown. I would save them for later.

"You cursed again," Sunstorm growled. "Do it again, and I will punish you."

"I don't believe in your Primus junk! You can't hold me to your weird standards!"

"Give thy thoughts no tongue. Oftentimes excusing of a fault doth make the fault the worse by the excuse."

Arguing with this freak was going to be pointless.

"Aside from that," the mech said as he let me slide to the platform, "the natural factors of the planet make communication difficult without specialized equipment. If anybot heard you it was a garbled mess."

My feet were solidly holding my weight now, but Sunstorm was still hanging on to the plating on my chest. Finding the courage to glare up at him with defiance was difficult, but I managed it.

He finally let me go and stepped away.

"I'll show you my nest. There's a ladder to climb there," he said softly, gesturing to a series of metal bars that had been nailed into the bark. They didn't look very strong.

"That is going to hold my weight?" I asked skeptically.

"They hold mine. Go on, I'll be right behind you."

The courteous way he was suddenly speaking to me made my coolant boil. It wasn't an accident that I roughly bumped the bigger mech when I pushed away from the bark. Gathering myself a little, I grabbed onto a rung and began to make my way up the tree.

The rungs went all the way up past what I could see through the leaves. As I brushed through some greenery myself a brightness began to show, diffuse and warm in the cool woods. The underside of a pale metal deck showed itself between the leaves after several yards until I could see that the brightness was coming from a hole to climb up through, big enough to accommodate a mech larger than Sunstorm.

I reached the floor and pulled myself into the tree house. The whole room seemed green and yellow with light reflecting off faintly gold-tinted metals, the huge leaves of the tree creating a soft and summery sound. It was all one big room, no partitions. There was a raised pallet to one side, probably where Sunstorm slept. An out of place mechanical system took up half of one wall, wires rising up into the leaves. Sunstorm explained as he climbed up behind me.

"I know, it doesn't fit… I could get some paneling, I suppose. It's the energon processor, it uses solar energy. It's not the fastest way to get it, but it has no impact on the ecosystem so it's preferable."

I looked at the yellow mech as he rose to his full height. They had gone 'green' on this planet? Weren't Decepticons supposed to be vicious energy hogs?

When I asked, Sunstorm shook his head. "The golden age is before us, not behind us. Divebomb is trying to create a sustainable future for all of us. Have you ever had solar energon? It's a bit different from the kind derived from fossil or mineral."

"Yes," I said blandly.

He smiled. "Did you enjoy it?"

"I did." I hadn't known any different at the time, but even after trying energon made from various fuel sources I still secretly longed for the unobtrusive and smooth blue stuff.

"Then you'll do well here."

My hands curled into fists but didn't say anything to get a rise out of the bigger bot.

"It… it's a pity you aren't smaller," he said slowly.

The look on the other bot was so repellant to me that I actually jerked back slightly. "Excuse me?"

"Divebomb wants smaller bots, by and large. They take to the upgrade the best, not to mention they are more energy efficient. I was much smaller when I had the upgrade. He's experimenting with downgrading their size, and he's met with some success. A recent acquisition, actually. The mech was much too large."

I tilted my head slightly, thinking back. Recent, as in what I would call recent, or in the Cybertronian sense of the term?

"Did you get his name?"

Sunstorm looked up thoughtfully, reaching up and tapping his chin. "Hmm… Borer or Banger or…"

"Boomer?"

"Yes, come to think of it. He came with the six legged one."

Coil. "Did that one make it?"

"No. He resisted the upgrade."

Guilt struck me harder than I'd expected. Coil had died. Boomer had lived. They'd had a brother bond… What had that done to the slower bot?

Sunstorm's bright fingers touched under my chin, lifting my face up to him before I jerked away.

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. Do not doubt, and you will have nothing to fear."

I bit my glossa to keep myself from speaking, then decided to throw prudence to the wind. "I won't accept the upgrade."

Sunstorm only smiled. "You've only just arrived. There isn't any hurry, my dear."

"Don't call me that," I snapped testily. "My name is Bravura."

He frowned slightly. "Given or earned?"

"Earned," I grumbled. Well, Skywarp had felt I'd earned it, anyway.

My spark wrenched. Skywarp… where was he? Was he hurt or… had my request to bond… had he been unwilling to commit to such an extent that he'd run away from me?

It wasn't until Sunstorm's fingers curled around my own, pressed over my spark, that I realized I'd been clutching my chest. I tried to step away, but he held on to me.

"What's wrong?" He asked softly, warmly.

"Nothing!" I hissed with a note of protest.

He released me, but if I hadn't known any better I would've said his expression looked genuinely concerned. He'd had plenty of practice messing with the minds and sparks of frightened femmes, of course. The yellow flier turned away from me and went back to the energon processor, reaching into a storage cabinet and bringing a cube to me. He offered me the cube and I took it without thinking. His approving smile irritated me to no end.

"What is this for?" I asked icily, wishing I could turn back time and refuse it.

"You're obviously having a hard time with something. Sometimes a little energon helps me feel a lot better."

I sighed and shrugged. There was no telling how long I'd be here on this planet, and a little energon might help remind me of home.

Home…

I raised the cube to my lips and tipped it back, letting a little of the smooth blue liquid pour down into my mouth. It was so like the kind that I'd been 'raised' on, so like the blue energon ration I still carried in my storage, that if I could've cried I would've.

Hot Rod's emotions immediately matched mine with such a longing and fear and melancholy that I started to drop the cube to hug myself, my whole world shrinking to the emotional bond I shared with him.

Sunstorm caught the cube, ripping my attention away from my brother only a little. Long strong arms curled around me and he held me close to him.

Why didn't I push him away? He was insanely religious. I had been too, once, but the loss of my parents had taken my faith from me. I'd given it little thought as a human, and next to none as an inorganic. It just didn't make sense in my strange version of the world. This mech used his religion as an excuse to murder sentient creatures and to forget them just as easily.

He seemed to sense when my acceptance of his touch disappeared, and pulled away. He handed the cube back to me, so I took it reluctantly. The sense of home it gave me was intoxicating.

In fact, in just a few sips I was feeling much better…

Sunstorm had given me some space after I finished the cube. He'd flown away with an unnecessary reminder that I couldn't leave the planet. He'd said he'd be back by night fall.

Once I was alone I began to appreciate the tree house, Sunstorm's nest. It was full of warm color and light, the song of the wind in the trees and the flying creatures that lived in them surprisingly soothing. I went to the open deck, which had little more than a rope barrier around the edge. Fliers had no reason to fear falling.

I slumped in the middle of the deck, my strangely positive mood wavering as I thought about Skywarp.

Would I ever see him again? Did he even want to see me? Why didn't he want me? Was I ugly, weak? Annoying? Had I changed? Had he changed? Did I not understand him? Did he not understand me? Was it something I said, or maybe how I said it? What did I do? Or… not do?

The problem was, I had no idea if something was even wrong with 'us' or if something had happened to him.

That was it. Something had happened to hold him up.

Bad enough to keep him away for three months longer than it should have.

The only thing that could stop a Seeker was Optimus Prime or Megatron, unlikely possibilities since they were on Earth. The other possibilities were another Seeker. It would take a real _force_ to take out Skywarp. How many trines were there? Every Seeker I knew of besides Dirge was on Earth, and the fear-monger had gotten along with Skywarp fine.

So… was Skywarp dead?

"No," I whimpered, sliding down to my knees and leaning forward until my forehead touched the dappled metal deck. "Skywarp, you can't die," I said faintly. "I need you."

Slowly I sat up again and stared into the branches, looked up at the tiny flashes of blue sky as the wind moved the thick foliage. It was easy to pretend I was on Earth again, and that I only had to burst through the greenery to kiss the sky and head for Autobot City and see my brother and my best friend, or go to the Chihuahuan Desert, where I'd bask in the sun until Skywarp came back from seeing his brothers…

Sunstorm found me that way. I heard him coming in, listened to him climb into the nest and walk to the deck. I didn't move, though. What was the point?

"There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so."

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"I'm afraid I made a mistake in leaving you alone. You've been over thinking." He moved to stand next to me, slowly lowered himself to the deck to sit next to me. "No matter what happened in the past, it's gone. Your new life and your future lies here, with the Predacons."

"I'm neutral," I grumbled.

There was a smile in his voice, though I refused to actually look at him. "Be that as it may, the upgrade will make you technorganic."

"What does that mean?" I shifted back until I sat on my aft, pulled my knees up against my chest and let my chin rest on them. I realized with a dull start that it was dark and that the wind had died down.

"It means your body, which is already a metallic DNA based one, will be trained to incorporate true organic systems. Instead of relying entirely on processors and wires, you will run on an elegant combination of technology and biology."

"How come you aren't part animal? Your alt mode is metal."

Sunstorm was undisturbed by my question. "Your size may limit your alt mode choices, as it has mine… there are no flying organisms large enough for us, though large land and marine organics are plentiful."

His insistence on talking to me about the upgrade as if I was guaranteed to take it was beginning to get to me. Every other femme they'd tried had died. Dying mechs didn't bother Sunstorm. Becoming 'technorganic' was as good as a death sentence, just as Dirge had said.

Sunstorm stood up and walked away only to return moments later with another cube.

Shaking my head, I refused it. "My energy is fine. It would be a waste."

"I've been saving it up for a while. The lifestyle affords plenty of time in the sun. Take it, you'll feel better."

I sighed and took the cube. Dirge had told me not to fight. _Resistance_ _is futile,_ I thought to myself with a snort. I had compared the Predacons to Star Trek, hadn't I? By the time I'd finished a third of the cube, I really _was_ feeling better. Content would be a good word for it…

"You've relaxed," Sunstorm pointed out to me. "Would you like to recharge?"

With a shake of my head, I stood up slowly. I was still on my space cycle, meaning I would recharge longer but less often.

"Then let's go flying. You can see more of Predaca."

Flying in atmosphere sounded fantastic… Flying without expecting a fight or hunting for someone sounded even better.

"Ok," I said, trying to keep my improved mood from showing. This place, the air or the colors or…_ something_ was doing me some good.

* * *

Yeah it's short, yeah it took me forever, but writing has taken a back seat on real life :( Let me know what you think, lovelies!


	21. Chapter 21

To the 7-8 people who review like every time, thank you thank you thank you. You know who you are, you know I love you : D If you legion of non-reviewing folks would review as well, I'd love you too. But only 'if.' My love is conditional.

The point of view and the narrator are important in how a story comes across. So far, where Bravura is present/conscious the story has been from her directly. This means imperfect feedback, one-sided stories on her part, etc. All other characters (aka not Bravura) have been 3rd person. The 3rd person has been from a truthful narrator, so keep all that in mind when the narrative shifts, as it will several times with no warning. Many of you all ready figured out what is happening to Brav, and you'll understand why the narrative is vague, oversimplified, inattentive or downright out of character. If even after it's made clear why it happening it still makes no sense, point it out and I'll see about fixing it.

When you see the line 'I was ok with it' followed by 'the next day' that is where I started playing Make This Go On Forever by Snow Patrol while I wrote :)

* * *

We climbed up the side of the nest, where the glimmers of dark sky were easier to see. The stars were bright, explosive across the sky... I could see one quarter moon from where we sat among the leaves and branches, but the way the sky glowed made me think there might be a second somewhere.

"Are there no cities on Predaca?"

"There are small communities, but we have strict rules here regarding light and sound pollution."

"How many Predacons are there?" I pulled myself onto the roof the nest, ignoring the hand Sunstorm offered me.

"Forty-one. Mostly imperfect, but they're all small steps down the great road we walk."

A retort began to form in my thoughts, but the words melted before I could use them. How odd. Maybe it was the night sky, distracting me.

The thought did occur to me that Devcon had been hunting Cons a long, long time. He'd brought in _thousands_, I was sure.

"Your system is inefficient," I said moodily despite the strong desire I had to simply get along with Sunstorm.

"It's imperfect, much as they are. But every bot we change, we come that much closer to the perfect model for a Predacon."

"So if I would almost certainly be an imperfect technorganic, why would Divebomb want to breed me? Isn't that perpetuating imperfection?"

"With the right mech, you faults may be repaired in your offspring."

"The 'right' mech?"

"Someone much smaller… the rest remains to be seen once you actually take the upgrade. Divebomb hopes a naturally born technorganic will have qualities he has been unable to install himself."

It all sounded so ridiculous to me… but at least Sunstorm was not going to be expected to mate with me. He was too big. That was a huge relief to me. Without another moment's thought I gave in to my need to fly and flung myself skywards, transforming and blasting away from the tree house with a roar that shattered the tranquility of the forest.

Leaves exploded around me and fluttered away, some burning as they fell behind me. Sunstorm followed me, and something told me that if I were to try and race the mech I would beat him. I rose maybe a thousand feet above the trees and took off, relishing the feel of the wind and the way the moonlight shone brightly off the waxy leaves of the forest and the gleaming plains beyond.

I quickly discovered that Sunstorm simply couldn't keep up with me, that or he didn't choose to. I left him behind rapidly, heading north towards the equator as fast as I could without setting myself on fire with the friction…

The coastline appeared quickly, showing me the beginnings of a vast ocean. I turn on my bioscanners, looking for life, and was absolutely shocked at the volume of creatures living there at the edge of the sea. Flocks of birds, each individual the size of a cat, huddled together up the beach, sleeping, while schools of what seemed to be fish the size of my old Lotus Elise alt mode cruised along the edge, the whole mass turning together as a unit as even larger creatures flashed in and through their ranks, picking them off.

I could actually make out the schools and the huge predators with my optics alone. They glowed, fluorescent in the moonlight. I let myself fly low, just twenty or thirty feet over the waves, sweeping down the coastline to watch the phenomenon happening for miles.

Very little time had passed when something burst out of the water beneath me, lightning tentacles bashing into my underside with shocking force and flinging my sideways into the sandy beach.

I hit awkwardly, but the sand absorbed most of the impact. As I rose to my supports, wincing at the painfully gritty feeling in my joints, the creature rose from the depths it had fallen back into.

Not a creature. A mech. His marbled optics were beautiful, red at the center and radiating to a lighter yellow, nearly white at the very edges. The rest of him was absolutely hideous. Tentacles of an indeterminate number waved from his shoulders, which were level with his head, supported by a hunched neck. His legs with stumpy and rubbery, the fact that they could support his weight a marvel.

He looked beyond pissed. I turned and leapt in the opposite direction, transforming and blasting inland. His tentacles whistled behind me, the crack louder than my thunderous engines, but he missed me.

Sunstorm finally found me where I'd landed a few miles inland. My fists were clenched, my whole body was tense and Sunstorm immediately knew something was wrong.

"What happened?" he asked, getting a little to close for comfort.

"Some **squid **mech attacked me on the coast."

He didn't seem phased by my use of English. "Were you hurt?"

"No, just shaken up. I thought you guys were looking for a better kind of life. Why would he attack me?"

"Some of them… have spent too long in their beast modes. They don't remember what they were the way they should." A quick glance told me he was pretty bothered by the admission, looking up at the moon to keep from looking at me.

"Another kink to smooth out, huh."

"Yes." He looked down, forcing a smile. "Have you seen enough for tonight?"

No. I wanted to see Skywarp, Hot Rod, Mirage… I'd even settle for Tracks at this point. I wanted someone to trust.

"Yes. Let's go back."

Sunstorm reached up and touched my shoulder lightly, still smiling, then jumped into the sky and began to fly back the way we'd come. Reluctantly, I followed. If I'd had any guts at all I'd shoot for orbit and let myself be blown to bits… Maybe Hot Rod would jump to me before I died, and I could ask him to tell Mirage that he was right about leaving Earth.

I looked back at the memory with some difficulty. My core seemed… sticky, somehow.

_"I'm afraid you'll get hurt out there, and there won't be anyone to help you get out again," he'd said to me after realizing I'd chosen Skywarp._

_I'd joked with him. "We're going to fly off into the sunset, presumably."_

_"It's never that easy, little lady."_

Why hadn't I listened? More than I ever had before, I suddenly wished I'd never left Earth, never followed Skywarp. After the way the Seeker had disappointed me… Everything I had gone through, everything that I was going to go through… None of it was worth it.

With a start, I realized that I _hated_ Skywarp. My strained love for the mech had suddenly evaporated, leaving me feeling desperately lonely. It also left me feeling completely hopeless. The only mech who knew where I was would be Dirge… and he'd already made it clear he'd helped as much as he could without getting himself killed.

Even in helping me, the Seeker had taken what he'd wanted from me.

I suddenly broke away from Sunstorm, diving for the ground, landing so hard that grass and dirt flew around me as I slammed to my hands and knees. My fingers tightened into claws and I raked them through the soft earth, screaming my rage and despair.

"**I hate you! I hate you all! I never loved you, you bastard! How could you leave me?! God damn it, why did you leave?!**"

Sunstorm landed near me and waited while I screamed at the dirt, letting me get the worst of my anger out of the way. I pressed my face against the gouged grass and screamed into it.

"**You used me… you both used me. You never cared. I did all the work, didn't I? I followed you, and then Dirge, he… but you only followed me because you thought I was a fertile femme… didn't you. That's why you left. Too nice to let me die, but- but you… you didn't love me.**"

My logic processor was strangely silent as I made assumption after assumption, but I was in no mood to be concerned.

"I don't understand you," Sunstorm said softly when I broke up, my vents humming with the air I was forcing out.

"Nobody out here does," I said ruefully.

"Primus understands you," Sunstorm said softly. "He is the only one who will never let you down."

The look I gave Sunstorm could only have been shocked and disgusted.

"Don't try to feed me your apologetics."

"It's only the truth, my dear."

"Whatever. Let's go back to the tree house," I grumbled.

"No, you're covered in sand and dirt. I have another place to take you first." He took flight without another word, and I had little else to do but follow again. Maybe Divebomb had a spa with an acid bath waiting.

It wasn't a spa, but it was an incredibly beautiful rock pool. A wide swath of water spilled down in a thin sheet from the lake above, fed by mountain rivers and springs. Giant trees ringed the pool, with huge rocks arranged randomly around and in it.

We landed next to the water, where my bioscanner told me tiny fish lived relatively unmolested.

"Wash off," Sunstorm suggested. "You'll feel better."

Walking into the chilly water was difficult. The rocks lining the bottom of the pool were slick with some kind of algae, so I had to take my time, but I finally made it out into deeper water. I came up to my chest, so I lowered myself in until I was completely submerged. The fish were mostly hiding, sleeping, but the way the moonlight played on the rippling surface was ghostly and beautiful. I could see Sunstorm's orangey opticss glowing from the water's edge. I shifted, swayed in the water until I felt clean again.

With a start I realized I wasn't afraid of being underwater. Hadn't it terrified me once, back when…

Back when…

I exploded from the water with a burst of thrusters, boiling the area immediately around me.

"What's wrong with me?" I screamed, maneuvering until the water would only be up to my knees and settling back in the water some distance from the flyer.

"What do you mean?"

"My memory core is malfunctioning. Something is wrong with me!"

"Calm down, calm down," he purred, splashed into the water, unbothered by the slippery rocks, and took my hands. "Is that the only malfunction you've detected?"

I quivered with anger, but nodded. He didn't seem concerned at all!

"We'll have Divebomb look at you in the morning. No need to go waking him up in the middle of the night."

My fingers twitched in his hands as I tried to find the reason why I didn't want Divebomb to look at me. I just didn't…

"It's probably nothing," I said, forcing an abrupt smile. "Really, we don't need to bother him at all. It's nothing."

Sunstorm stared down at me, confused and maybe even a little… amused? He thought this was funny?

I pulled my hands out of his, slipping slightly on the slimy rocks. I overcorrected and heaved sideways, pitching myself into the shallow water. The rocks didn't hurt me, just my pride, and Sunstorm laughed over me. As he bent down to help me up I splashed him in aggravation, but he only laughed again and swept a handful of water into my face.

The playfulness of the big flyer shocked me for a second, until an equally playful piece of me that had been snuffed for what felt like a long time surfaced. I judged how he was balancing his weight then threw my shoulder into the leg that was holding most of him up. He tumbled into the water with me, a huge splash bursting up as his wings slapped the water.

He reached for me, still laughing, but I dove for the deeper water closer to the waterfall, ducking behind one of the tall thin boulders that stood in the water. He came after me, and soon we were wrestling around mostly submerged.

It never occurred to me to hate him as he was laughing like that. I could even hear him under the water… He sounded so happy.

Eventually they calmed down, and she could see by the way he held himself that he was tired. He was on the day-night schedule, unlike Bravura. Why wasn't she? She tried to think about it, but Sunstorm pulled her concentration away by helping her out of the pool.

One of the thin boulders lay on its side near the edge of the water, so they climbed up on to it so that she could let the water drain from her vents. Sunstorm didn't seem to have a problem with water getting into awkward places.

He looked at her closely, smiling back when she gave him a shy grin.

"You're feeling much better," he said knowingly.

"Oh yes," she said. "I feel wonderful."

* * *

I woke up with my processor _aching_. I gave an involuntary groan, curling on my side and clutching the sides of my helm. The bright light only made it worse.

"Good morning. Afternoon, really."

I gave a jerk, flung my upper body up from where I had been recharging and searched for Sunstorm, my instincts screaming to run.

He was standing right over me, holding a blue energon cube.

"Here," he said, offering me the cube. "We flew all night, you could probably use this."

I checked my levels… He was right, I'd used a huge amount of energy last night. What had I been doing to drop myself below _fifty percent?_

The solar energon was as good as the day before, and it filled me with the same pleasant feeling. My aching processor even seemed to abate a bit, probably because I was distracted.

"Where did we go last night? I can't… really remember much." It was almost like I'd been over energized.

"We just flew, mostly. You insisted on racing me every chance you got."

"I won," I grumbled, able to recall leaving him in the dust before the squid mech.

"Yes," he said amiably. "Would you like to do anything today, or just stay here?"

"I don't know," I said immediately. I didn't feel like making any decisions right now.

"We can just stay here and relax. Normally I'd have a few duties to attend, but Divebomb's given me leave until you're settled in."

It occurred to me to wonder where I'd fallen asleep. I was on the single large pallet.

"The recharging arrangement isn't going to work," I informed Sunstorm cautiously. "I need a place to myself."

"Yes, I realized that last night. I'm sending for one to be built and installed, until then I'll rest on the floor."

What? The freak mech was being chivalrous? I rebelled against letting him seem like the good guy.

"No, I'll take the floor. It's your tree house."

"As my nest it is my responsibility to see that you are comfortable. It will only be a night or two, don't fret."

Don't _fret._ I sighed and looked down at the almost empty cube of energon in my hands, swishing the glowing liquid from corner to corner. I lifted the cube to my lips and drained the last little bit.

Every time I seemed to get anxious throughout the day, Sunstorm would simply offer me a cube and a meaningless piece of robot scripture before picking up a datapad from his extremely orderly desk.

I was ok with it.

* * *

The next day, Bravura left the nest early to watch the sun rise. It sounded so pretty and nice, and the way the cool night air felt on her wings, she was glad she'd done it. The sun made beautiful colors on the clouds, painting them brilliant orange and cotton candy pink.

Rotating her view slightly, she pondered the strange markings on her wings. Red crosses. She rather liked the white paint, but without knowing what the marks meant she didn't know how to feel about them. She'd ask Sunstorm, he always seemed to know what she should do…

Time flew by for Bravura. She drank two cubes of energon a day, one after watching the sun rise and one before recharging. Sunstorm had installed her pallet near the door to the deck, because she liked the feeling of open air.

Sometimes she would remember things that confused her. Flashes of mechs, usually, but sometimes strange organics of varying colors but all the same species would appear in her memory and go away again just as fast.

There was also the matter of her uncontrollable emotional problem. She couldn't seem to get a handle on herself: Sometimes this other set of emotions would be happy like her, sometimes very, very sad… It was when the emotions were at their most miserable or angry that the memories were the worst.

_A black mech with wings smiled at her while the sun made it difficult to make out his details… A smaller red mech cradled her to his chest before handing her to a blue one_… She got the vague feeling that she should know them, should have an emotional response to them…

But all she could feel was happy.

Except when Sunstorm talked about upgrades. She didn't like that. It made her uneasy, because a little tiny voice would rise up and _scream_ that to upgrade was to die. _Don't fight, but never give up!_

She didn't understand, but she couldn't imagine why she would lie to herself… So one day, when she'd been with Sunstorm a long, long time, he asked her if she was ready. She'd told him no.

Sunstorm had been very angry. He'd yelled at her, even picked her up by the neck and shaken her, then tossed her to the floor and flown away.

She'd failed her very dear friend. She felt awful, but… the voice had been so certain. Bravura didn't want to die.

He'd come back later, all apologies, and she'd gratefully accepted. She didn't want to make her very dear friend unhappy. He'd been nothing but kind to her.

She was glad they were friends. She loved when he talked about Primus. Primus loved her, and she loved Primus. She was sad that she disappointed Primus when she refused the upgrade, but she thought he might love her anyway, because that was his way.

She liked the rock pool very much. She'd fly there alone sometimes and just watch the waterfall, try to catch the darting fish in her bright fingers.

One day, her second emotions were reaching a fever pitch of anger and anxiety. The thunder of the water seemed to reach into her very spark, straight through her chest, and without knowing why, she stepped into the thin sheet of water and raised her face to meet the rush.

The vibrations woke up something in her that had been sleeping. She stirred a little, then felt the emotions do something they had been tried to do several times before, but she'd never understood why. All of the sudden, she felt a mind push into hers and seize her body.

_**Bravura! What the hell is wrong with you?!**_

She was surprised, to put it gently. He'd cursed, and in a language that wasn't Cybertronian. She understood it, but…

**What… you… you're like a sparkling,** the voice choked, suddenly horrified. It lifted her hands to her face, one finger lingering on some marks she hadn't been aware of. **You can't remember anything, can you? Bravura, honey, it's Hot Rod. Your brother. Back on Earth.**

The tiny voice that always spoke against the upgrade shrieked from somewhere deep within her, and the new one seized onto it, pulled it up and through and around her and shattered her…

I exploded into consciousness, standing in the waterfall. Hot Rod was with me, and he was holding me firmly. I could tell that as soon as he let me go my mind would slip back into sleepy silence…

**Bravura,** he choked. **What's happened to you?**

**I don't know, **I told him, scared out of my mind. **I think… I don't know! **I gave Hot Rod what little memory I had, a few random and seemingly inconsequential flashes, but I felt his outrage as he watched me lift an energon cube to my lips…

**You're being drugged. **

**What are you talking about?**

He shared his memories with me, showed me what I'd become for what had apparently been months. I'd been a simple-minded child, entertained by leaves blowing in the wind and idolizing Sunstorm's every move without understanding even a fraction of the scripture he quoted to me. A subconscious remnant of me had prevented me from accepting the upgrade, had occasionally tried to show me the only images I could still remember of the mechs I loved to shake me awake…

But the drug was too strong.

**Don't let go, Hot Rod,** I sobbed, suddenly horribly afraid. **I'm alone. I don't want to be alone!**

His intense sorrow wrapped around mine. Something had changed for Hot Rod in his duties, in his life, and I knew instantly that his responsibility was bigger than me. He would have to leave me, and I couldn't simply follow him. But he was hiding what that new responsibility was…

**If you can't stay… kill me.**

Hot Rod rejected the idea instantly. **No. **

**I don't want to be a slave to these maniacs. Hot Rod, save me from this!**

**I won't kill you!**

A moment's thought seemed to give me answer enough.

**Ok. You just hang on to me, and I'll do it. **I let my absolute terror flood our connection, not fear of dying but fear of falling into the darkness again. **I don't think anybody is going to save me.**

**What about Skywarp?**

My confusion prompted him to show me an image of the tall black mech with purple detailing, the mech I'd tried to show myself over and over.

**Skywarp…**

I couldn't remember it all, but I knew he'd betrayed my trust, given me reason to hate him. He should have saved me, but he never would now! My will rose up in a rage and seized my arms from Hot Rod, leaving the rest under his power. I freed my knives, which had been laying in wait all this time, and plunged them into my chest, my stomach, my neck. Hot Rod's tremendous will tried to stop me, but I was like the fox that chews its foot to free itself of the trap…

Energon rushed from my lines, staining the pool below me a foggy blue. Hot Rod was horrified, and I remembered vaguely in my growing emptiness that he couldn't be inside me when I died, or he would too.

**How could you? How could you, Bravura?**

As a final act of love, I thrust him back into his own body, accepting my fear and letting myself drown in the drugged mind of a child.

She hurt! Oh, she hurt! She stumbled away from the waterfall, frightening blades instead of her delicate fingers waving about… She activated her comm. and screamed her distress to Sunstorm, begging for help just before blackness welled up through her and pulled her down into the water.

* * *

I came to slowly, painfully, flat on my back with voices around me.

"She was nearly gone. She stabbed _herself_, she had the knives out and everything, Divebomb! But she sounded like she had no idea what happened when she called me!"

"Sounds like she broke through the drug. Increase her dosage."

"Are you sure that's wise? She's already drugged senseless."

"Do what you must, Sunstorm. It's for the greater good. Is that transfusion done yet?"

"Yes… she's conscious, Divebomb."

"Dose her before she becomes lucid."

There was a sting in my neck, and the terrifying darkness swept over me again even as I felt a happiness suffuse my thoughts.

Divebomb didn't waste any time in cutting off her knives. It hurt very much, but he said she had done a crime against Primus with them and they had to be taken away. She hadn't even known she had knives, so aside from the pain she didn't really care. She was just happy to be visiting Divebomb.

* * *

Did the narrative shifts make you uneasy? Did they just piss you off? Did you get what was going on? I'm being pretty experimental here, so feedback would be appreciated!

Also, I'm thinking of going back and editing First Impressions for errors and some inconsistencies, no big plot changes. Just a mention. R & R, lovelies!


	22. Chapter 22

This short chapter is to prep you for the _next_ chapter, which is essentially getting you ready for the _next_ chapter after that! There isn't much I can really say about Bravura aside from emphasizing her simple existence for the period of time she's on Predaca, so the mechs we know and love will be enjoying the limelight instead.

Rusted Wheel by Silversun Pickups is goodun for this chap.

* * *

Hot Rod came back to his body with the uncomfortable sensation of being slung over another mech's shoulder.

"NO!" He screamed. "God damn you Bravura!" He felt her simple confusion bubble up, then fade away as she lost consciousness. He didn't doubt that in a few minutes he was going to feel their connection shrivel and break.

"Whoa, you're awake," Springer said, stopping to ease Hot Rod back down to the ground. "You scared me, mech."

"I made it to Bravura," Hot Rod said distractedly. "She was drugged, but I brought her out of it long enough for her to try and kill herself. I couldn't stop her."

Springer grew still next to Hot Rod, the big mech's easy smile fading. "She killed herself?"

"She stabbed herself. She's dying as we speak." Hot Rod looked down and away from his friend to hide the frustration and the sorrow he was feeling. "It's all my fault."

Springer grabbed the smaller mech's shoulders, bending down to look him in the optic. "You did what you could. Whatever's happened to her, you couldn't do anything from here."

Hot Rod shuddered as his connection to his sister wavered. Springer leaned forward and wrapped his heavy arms around his friend, trying to comfort the red bot. They'd been through everything as friends, been on thousands of missions and through unbelievable trouble together for millennia. Hot Rod didn't get embarrassed or pull away, simply accepted the reassurance and leaned into his friend's chest, soft sobs barely making their way through his vocal processors.

* * *

Skywarp jerked from his half conscious state. Sol was growing larger every hour, and he'd be back on Earth soon.

_Coming back to Tricora had been devastating._

_He touched down, all excitement at the thought of seeing his beloved. He planned to sneak up on her and surprise her, so he asked the somber looking secretary where to find her._

_The secretary glared at the big Seeker, then told him to talk to Butcher, slamming the little window to his office shut with a snap._

_Butcher looked tired and miserable, but it wasn't until he apologized to the Seeker that Skywarp got worried._

_"Why are you sorry?" he asked, a little irritated. Where was Bravura?_

_"Skywarp… they took her two solar cycles ago."_

_It took all his strength to keep from taking his rage out on the medic, but he contained himself._

_Butcher was unable to say where they had taken her, only that Dirge had been a part of the operation. He also told Skywarp something Bravura had kept a secret from him: Dirge had raped her before Skywarp had made it there to help her._

_"I'm going to get her back," he told the careworn medic fiercely. "I'm going to kill that slagger and get her back. I'm never leaving her alone again…"_

Except he couldn't seem to get a trace. His instincts had always pointed him in the right direction before, but for some reason… Images of his brothers kept flashing in his mind, and his senses pulled him back to Sol. It had taken him a while to understand why…

He couldn't save her alone. Whatever had happened to her, he'd need his brothers' help. He _knew_. He only had to convince them to come with him, somehow… The one consolation was that he was able to get a trace on her rescue plan, meaning she was still alive. If she died, the sensation would evaporate.

* * *

After a few hours of tense waiting and dread it became clear that Bravura wasn't going to die. She came to at some point, seeming somewhat normal, but within minutes she slipped back into her empty and happy shell.

Springer stayed with Hot Rod until the mech was certain she would make it, then headed out for a patrol he was over an hour late for. Hot Rod would make the excuses for his friend.

The red mech wondered if he should say anything to Mirage about Bravura…

The Elite had a right to know what had happened to Bravura. It pained him to admit it, but the dark blue mech loved Bravura more than any other bot with the exclusion of maybe Skywarp, and himself of course…

Her response to the mention of Skywarp had been shocking. The rage and hatred she had felt… Whatever had happened between the two of them, Bravura seemed completely done with the relationship.

Mirage would be happy to hear that, too.

* * *

Sunstorm stood in the dark grasslands, watching the femme whose name he'd tried to forget as she danced in the starlight, stirring up clouds of insects, their brightly glowing wings flickering silently. She looked back at him often, the dreamy smile she wore making him uneasy despite the indulgent nod he'd give her in return. She really shouldn't be flying around or exerting herself, the _accident_ had been barely three solar cycles ago, but she insisted that she didn't hurt at all and that she wanted to go watch the stars.

She was a fighter, he knew that. Maybe not the best in the physical sense, she had been captured after all, but mentally she had a lot of control.

He had respect for that, and he didn't want to destroy it all before he could convince her to take the upgrade. A mindless technorganic femme would prove little in their quest for perfection.

That was why he hadn't increased her dosage, despite Divebomb's orders.

She stopped dancing suddenly and stopped to stare up at the sky. She reached up and touched the side of her face where the scuffs marred her otherwise pleasant features. She wasn't the prettiest femme he'd ever seen, but he rather liked her. He didn't want to break her… Even drugged, she was more curious and thoughtful than the others had been.

When she looked down and at Sunstorm, she was sorrowful.

"I can almost remember someone," she whispered so softly that it almost blended with the wind.

He was surprised at her lucidity. She rarely thought about the past, preferring to think about the future or most often the present.

"He was important," she said firmly, walking towards him, crossing her arms as if to protect her spark. "But not just him… Others, I see them sometimes. Who do you think they are?"

"Wisely, and slow, my dear. They stumble that run fast."

She smiled dully. "I'm not running, Sunstorm."

"It means that you can't rush things. Primus will show you in his own time."

"Oh!" Her expression brightened, as it always did when he soothed her confusion, then she turned back to the plains and began to dance again.

He almost felt bad about it. She was so sweet like this… But then he considered her when she'd first arrived, cold and untrusting and rough, and thought twice.

He did wonder whom she remembered, though. Surely she didn't have a mate… That could present a small problem if he was anybot of consequence, an Autobot or even a mech of some influence. They would be crushed if they appeared in Predaca's solar system, but all the same, he didn't care to organize the scrap detail that would have to result from their annihilation.

* * *

Thundercracker met Skywarp just inside the asteroid belt. He seemed surprised at first.

_Where's Bravura?_

Skywarp let himself slide through space until he was wing to wing with his brother. _She's been captured. Dirge took her with a sizeable force. I can't save her without help, Thundercracker._

Thundercracker pulled away just a few centimeters, enough to break the contact Skywarp had made.

_You think you can just come back here and ask us to drop everything to help you?_

_I know, I threw you under the freighter… But please, TC…_

_Starscream will never have it. You know how hard a time we've had covering for you with Megatron back again, not to mention keeping the Constructicons and the other Seekers quiet?_

Skywarp flinched at the mention of Megatron's return, but he'd expected a trade to be required, and he was prepared. _I'll do anything, TC. If you will both help me then I'll come back to Earth to fight with you again._

_What about that treaty you made with the enemy?_ Thundercracker swung around until the nose of his F-22 alt mode pointed at Skywarp.

_If it means I can make sure she's safe, I'll do anything. _

Thundercracker was silent, his emotions giving away very little to his brother. TC would know how desperate Skywarp was, however.

_I'll go talk to Screamer,_ the primarily blue Seeker finally muttered. _Stay in the belt, if Megatron catches wind of you he'll have our exoskins._

_Thanks, TC. I mean it._

_Don't thank me yet, it's up to the Commander._

Skywarp watched TC flip himself around and head back for Earth. It wouldn't take long for him to return with Screamer, who would almost certainly want to beat the black and purple mech senseless before any negotiating could begin.

* * *

Bravura sat down in the grass to alleviate the aches she had all over. The bugs with the yellow glowing wings settled around her quickly, landing around and even on her. She watched the wings flash open and closed, as if the tiny bugs were trying to speak to her in a secret language.

She loved to watch them. She'd discovered them a few solar cycles before her crime, and between the stars and the shine of the gleaming prairie grass they'd made the whole area seem magical.

She wanted to rub her forearms, but she didn't want to disturb the insects who'd come to rest on her. Her wrists ached horribly, felt empty… The sensation was worse than the dull pain she felt in the rest of her body. The white and red femme blew out her vents, noting the incoming air was a little colder than usual.

The flicker of a falling star caught her attention so she watched it until it disappeared. Sunstorm approached her shortly after that, but for a little while she didn't notice. She was more distracted by what the word 'sky' did to her.

Every time she looked up at it the same image of a dark smiling mech would flash before her eyes, something she had grown used to… The sky…

_"__**You're a sky warp**__?"_ The voice in her memory sounded like hers, but tinny and small…

She jerked when Sunstorm sat down next to her.

"A **sky warp**…"

"What was that?"

She looked to her smart friend. "Just thinking."

Her friend frowned for a moment, then reached up and patted her shoulder. "Let me know if it bothers you."

She giggled a little. Why would thinking bother her? Sometimes she liked to think! She leaned against Sunstorm and continued to look up at the sky, peace filling her to her core. A glowing bug fluttered by her and distracted her from all thoughts of the **sky warp.

* * *

**

Mirage sat across the table in the upper deck, waiting with rare impatience for Hot Rod to just _say_ whatever he was going to say about Bravura.

"Look, Mirage… You know she's been through some bad stuff…"

Mirage didn't say anything, simply leaned back and crossed his heavy arms over his chest.

"She… I was able to jump into her a few days ago."

Mirage frowned. Hot Rod being able to go to his sister only meant trouble of the worst kind. "What happened?"

"She's been kind of funny for a while… I couldn't go to her, no matter how hard I tried, but the other day…" Hot Rod paused, drew a long pull of air into his vents then continued. "She's being drugged. She's like a child. When I jumped I was able to pull her personality up, and she… she took her arms from me and stabbed herself. She wanted to die."

Mirage froze at first, but then pure rage exploded into him and he leaped to his feet to slam his fists into the table. "She tried to commit suicide and you didn't _tell me?!_"

"She didn't succeed," Hot Rod said, putting up his hands in case he needed to fend of the bigger mech. "She's fine. She's drugged again."

"Where is she?" Mirage snarled.

"It doesn't make a difference to us," Hot Rod said miserably. "Nobody can afford to leave Earth for the amount of time it could take… besides, she might be dead before anyone got there."

"No! Blaster can get there faster than anybody!"

Hot Rod looked surprised. Yes, Blaster's alt mode could achieve faster than light speeds, but it was risky and costly to the bot. If Mirage was suggesting it he must be more affected by the news than Hot Rod had ever expected.

"He can't," Hot Rod said quietly. "He's too valuable, he's our only communications specialist."

"I know you've got a shiny new rank to pull, but how could you suggest Bravura's not _valuable_ enough?" Mirage hissed.

"Mirage, please… Ultra Magnus won't allow Blaster to leave, much less Optimus. You know it's not reasonable to ask Blaster to risk his life, and he'd be going alone. We can't send him on what might be a suicide mission. We can only hope Skywarp will help her. The command trine hasn't changed at all, so we can only hope he's still functioning and he'll get involved somehow."

Mirage sagged abruptly, leaned forward on elbows. "She was my responsibility here. I was there when she learned how to _walk_, Hot Rod. I shouldn't have let her go, no matter what she decided."

"You had to," Hot Rod said slowly, relaxing. "She's her own femme."

Mirage looked up at Hot Rod, blue optics blazing. "If anything else happens, if you reach her or she reaches you or… or she dies, tell me. Immediately."

Hot Rod nodded so Mirage pushed away from the table, going to the stairs to make the long walk back down into Autobot City.

* * *

*tear* Hot Rod's growing up ;)


	23. Chapter 23

Was able to breath for the first time in forever, so I was actually able to let myself think about Transformers. It helps that RotF came out on dvd. No matter how much I hate Michael Bay for it. My schedule in the coming weeks is going to drown me, so if I do write be aware that I'm sacrificing my grade and or sanity and yell at me.

The author steelcrash had kindly given me permission to use a little idea from their story Precipitous based around Hot Rod and the discovery of his potential as a Prime. It's simple and it makes sense, which is why I liked it. But go read their story too, you.

Also, I'm going to be using a lot of characters from the toy line that I thought looked awesome and should have had a moment, like Knock Out and Stratosphere and Breakaway.

I also decided Devastator is alive. My story's 2007 movieverse, after all, so I'm going to choose a few things that sucked and get rid of them. Ravage dying, Scorponok dying, Devastator dying, Mudflap and Skids **not** dying… You'll see.

* * *

Bravura flinched under the outraged glare Sunstorm was turning on her.

"What excuse do you have?! What reasoning, when the upgrade would only improve you?"

"I just can't," she whimpered, hugging herself. "I can't."

"Why _not?_"

She looked up at him, and the defiance in her optics nearly sent him over the edge. Maybe he should have upped her dosage after all.

"Get out of here! Get out of my sight!" He flung his arm towards the door and she ran for it like a beaten animal. Served her right. He listened until her engines had faded into the distance.

* * *

Hot Rod listened in on Bravura's dejection, distracted from what Optimus was trying to tell him. She was becoming frightened and sad more and more as the months passed, but the Aston Martin has something to feel positive about… The Command Trine was gone. They'd simply disappeared a month ago.

Hot Rod had a feeling it had to do with Bravura. The trines stuck together, and Skywarp had made it clear before he left the last time that he could kick Starscream's aft. It had been seven months since she'd been kidnapped and three since she'd tried to kill herself. Depending on how far away Skywarp had been, he could've made it back in that kind of time. It would take longer to reach her, since his brothers couldn't warp, but Hot Rod hoped that within the next half year he'd feel her break out of the stupor and she'd feel safe again.

"Are you listening, Rodimus?"

Hot Rod sighed at the name. He didn't feel any different from when everyone called him Hot Rod, but… Everyone looked at him differently now. Becoming 'Rodimus Prime' overnight had been devastating to the red mech, but the bot he would've preferred to turn to, Springer, was stationed on the other side of the continent with the rest of Ultra Magnus's crew and their off time rarely coincided. Sideswipe would've listened, for a price, but since Sunstreaker had joined the Autobot City the twin hadn't seemed to need his companionship anymore.

Hot Rod had stopped the interfacing ever since Bravura's rape, but even then Sideswipe had been a willing ear, a casual sparring partner for when the less violent Aston Martin needed to work off some of his stress. Until Sunstreaker had been assigned to the City, and suddenly Hot Rod's needs were somehow less important to the red Lamborghini.

"Yes," Hot Rod finally said to Optimus.

"Who's doing the southern night watch next month?"

Hot Rod sighed and pressed his hand to his forehead. It was his responsibility to schedule the guard duty inside and outside the city (despite Red Alert's constant and vehement complaints,) but he didn't see why it couldn't just be the same watch every month. Optimus insisted that he change it up, pair up mechs based on their skills and strengths as well as their compatibility (or lack thereof) with each other. Something about knowing his soldiers better than he knew himself.

"Jolt and Sunstreaker."

"You're separating the twins? Do you think Jolt will be able to rein Sunstreaker in should he break protocol?"

"He's got his electrowhips. He'll be fine with Sunny."

Optimus sighed. "Don't you think someone Sunstreaker respects will have a better chance? Jolt has his merits, but they're mostly in the repair bay. Sunstreaker respects a fighter, not a healer, as evidenced by his behavior towards Ratchet. You have to learn your men inside and out, Rodimus, better than you know yourself."

Hot Rod looked away from the other Prime resentfully. He didn't like the yoke of leadership the Matrix had dropped on him one little bit out of nowhere one evening. He'd put himself between Arcee and Starscream, had barely managed to hold the Seeker off until Optimus had appeared out of nowhere and beaten the slag out of the flyer until he ran. And then Optimus had stumbled, grabbed Hot Rod in one hand and his own chest in the other, shocked. The Matrix of Leadership was singing for _Rodimus Prime._

He wanted to go back to his old position, filling in and backing up and running ahead without worrying about anyone else more than his usual. Most of the mechs didn't hold it against them, though a few of the more experienced mechs treated him a little more respectfully.

Mirage seemed to expect the most from him with the least patience. Several times the Elite had confronted Hot Rod after a fight that went less than smoothly or failed all together, like the time Mudflap and Skids had gotten a little too bold with Devastator and consequently died, or the Elite would pound on his door in the night asking about Bravura and giving some new plan for sending a strike team out for her…

But now that the two most dangerous Seekers were gone, Hot Rod's missions were going better and he could comfort Mirage with the probability that they were going to find her in time.

"Rodimus," Optimus said, his patience obviously wearing thin but not gone completely, "I'm trying to give you the lessons you'll need in the future. If anything happens to me or Ultra Magnus you'll be asked to take command of a unit. You can't be expected to do that without extra attention, and yes, extra work."

"I know," Hot Rod grumbled. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

"Hot Rod," Optimus said, surprising the smaller mech with his old name. "being a Prime is hard enough without allowing your emotions to eat at you. You must find a confidante, someone you can trust, as I found in Ironhide, Ratchet, and… and Jazz. Someone who is different enough that they help you see all the angles. If you don't want to share that kind of relationship with me, you should find someone you _can_ trust."

Hot Rod very nearly snapped at his leader. "I have one of those! Bravura."

"Bravura might not come back, Rodimus," the Prime said quietly. "She left Earth inexperienced, practically a newborn. The fact that she is alive at all is beating the odds."

"She's not going to die!" Hot Rod screamed. The room went deadly quiet as the two mechs stared each other down, Hot Rod with anger slowly being replaced by regret and Optimus with understanding.

"Her chances have improved since the Seekers left. If they left for her sake, that is," Optimus admitted.

"I know that's why they left. I just know it."

* * *

_It's bad enough you're not helping, Starscream, but could you do us all a favor and shut up?_ Thundercracker finally groaned.

_You should feel grateful for my presence. You're the one who won't shut up._

Skywarp nearly laughed at that. Thundercracker hadn't spoken for days, while Starscream's whining had been a near constant drone in their coms.

_Time will go faster if we get into our long distance system. Two of us doing a partial stasis while one is on the alert, _Thundercracker suggested, his tone not quite showing how frustrated his brothers both knew he actually was.

_Sounds good to me,_ Skywarp added quickly.

_Fine. You two take the first two alerts. Wake me up in two orns._ Almost as soon as he'd finished he started to go through the protocol to put himself into a partially conscious state.

Skywarp could tell Thundercracker would be grimacing if he had a face at the moment. _Well, _the black tetrajet began, _I'm good for another orn. You go ahead and relax, I've got a good trace on her._

_No thanks to Starscream,_ Thundercracker grumbled. The blue Raptor was surprisingly invested in finding and saving Bravura, but up until now Skywarp hadn't had a chance to find out why.

_I appreciate you putting so much into this, TC. Really. But what made you want to?_

The Raptor was quiet for a while, then Skywarp's com came alive again. _Because she really loves you, mech. She found me in the old hangar base after your left, and… the plans she was coming up with, they were insane, but they sounded just like you. She wanted me to help her get ready. She didn't want me to do the work, just give her a fighting chance to find you. I respect that._

Skywarp smiled internally. That was his girl. She was so convinced she didn't need anybody's help until the danger was snapping at her throat. Like when she was facing off the miners. Even Skywarp would've avoided messing with them, if it hadn't involved a femme who'd begged specifically for _his_ help already.

_She grew,_ Skywarp said unnecessarily. _Not as tall as her brother, but she's not little anymore. Still thin as a whip, but the alt mode she picked will probably make her look more sturdy._

_What did she choose?_

_An Earth jet. F-35 Lightning. _

Thundercracker laughed. _Sturdy! That may be understating it._

_She'll look beautiful no matter what._

_I didn't say she wouldn't. I'm locking down, give me the wake up if anything happens._

Skywarp sent a sound of assent and then settled in for a long flight, not quite so lonely with his sleeping brothers in formation behind him.

* * *

The femme, Bravura, was having troubles. Dirge watched her from the shadows of the trees while she stood there, jerking occasionally, mumbling nonsense and foreign words. She seemed to be having an argument with herself.

"D-d-don't…? **NO**! Why?! Why not **– because… b-b-because**… **The sky warp**! **The**… I don't KNOW!" Her voice echoed through the trees, disturbing the small animals living in it. She leaned against a tree and pressed her face to the bark, her body twitching now and again.

He approached her quietly, came within a few yards of her before she noticed him. She turned from the tree and smiled as if nothing was wrong.

"Seeker Dirge. Primus bless."

"Bravura. You aren't doing well."

She shrugged, her expression troubled.

"You're acting strangely."

She hugged herself, looking down nervously, her head twitching slightly.

"Have you been drinking your energon?"

"No." She said it innocently, but Dirge understood what was wrong with her now. She was having withdrawals, and they'd only get worse the longer she went without the drug that kept her complacent.

"Go home and drink the energon Sunstorm gives you."

She frowned but didn't outright refuse. He saw in her the shell of the femme he'd joined sparks with so briefly, but the fight was gone. He had no desire to scare her, to even touch her now. She was a doll, little more than a servodroid. He didn't even know if she had the capacity for true fear.

But he didn't wish her harm, either. If Sunstorm found out she was disobeying him he would drug her into oblivion, erasing whatever was left of the femme she'd been. Probably make her dependent on it for the rest of her life to boot.

"Go home and drink your energon," the Seeker repeated.

She sighed. "Yes, Seeker Dirge." She jumped up and burned her thrusters, carefully navigating the trees as she transformed and flew away towards Sunstorm's nest.

Primus, Dirge hated coming back to Predaca. Hated seeing such a lively creature reduced to _that.

* * *

_

If Arcee thought asking to be reassigned to Ultra Magnus and joining them in Washington DC would solve her problems she'd do it in a heartbeat.

Sunstreaker was becoming unbearable. He couldn't make up his mind, he verbally abused her and tried to get her to come to bed with him at the same time. She'd known Sunstreaker in the past, but she could've sworn he wasn't this bad before.

But then again Springer wasn't there, looking over everyone but Ultra Magnus, scaring away the smaller mechs who sometimes bothered her. At least Sunny respected the helicopter.

Something he was sorely lacking when it came to the tripartite. But the thought of leaving Optimus and his team to be with Springer wasn't as exciting as it should have been. For one… Springer hadn't seen her the way she was yet. The last time they'd been together she'd been a regular femme, a real femme… Her greatest fear wasn't dying or being taken prisoner, no. He greatest fear since Ultra Magnus had arrived was that Springer wouldn't love her if her saw her like this.

Who could sleep with a three-part freak?

She'd been assigned the morning watch with Knock Out, a fairly decent setup. He'd been small all his life, so his ability to take life with a grain of salt was good for her. That's what she told herself, anyway. He actually had Pretender specs, but he'd foregone them in favor of a fast alt mode, and so he was a fairly attractive green and teal motorcycle. The lucky bastard even had two legs instead of continually balancing like a unicycle.

She really hated Knock Out, and he didn't deserve a bit of it. Ok, maybe a little… He liked to pretend to be tougher than he was with her, talking about the team he'd lead some day. She was fairly certain he pretended he was the captain of some kind of unit when they were on patrol, since her three parts made him feel like a part of a larger group. But really, it was just the two of them.

Nobody seemed able to understand that. Either they focused on one and ignored the others, like Hot Rod, or they pretended each part of her was a different femme with a different personality, like Knock Out.

"Hey Arcee, what's with this speed limit? Fifty? Come on!"

"So the humans don't kill each other, Knock Out. The same reason they have most of their rules."

"It's still slaggin' slow."

"Feel free to speed and get the ticket. And explain to Optimus what was so important you had to break human law."

Arcee just faintly heard the mech mumble something offensive about her, but she chose to ignore it. She just wasn't in the mood for games anymore.

* * *

The arrival of the small flyer alarmed everyone, Autobots, Humans and Decepticons alike. Until the mech onboard hailed the Autobots planetside. Blaster responded, and they quickly discovered that it was the Autobot Devcon. And he had precious cargo.

They directed him to Autobot City before the Seekers could get involved, where he was met by Prowl and Red Alert, as well as several humans with guns that only looked big in their hands. Tiny organics.

The real shock came not when the dark blue Autobot stepped out of the flyer, but when the silver femme followed him with a tiny form in her arms.

As soon as the Prowl and Red Alert realized what had come to their doorstep they rushed the femme and the sparkling to Ratchet's med bay, where both were examined excessively and deemed in fair condition. Ratchet began taking steps to increase that measure to 'optimal' as well as to construct a late term protoform for the sparkling.

The femme, Curia, was quartered with the femme Ultra Magnus had brought to them, who had been given to them by none other than the Seeker Skywarp. Forcia had been hidden away in the City like the universe's best kept secret. The mechs who had found their way to Earth in their search for the Allspark had been looking in the most remote places of space for millennia and were unaware that some of the femmes had managed to hide away. They were also unaware of the horrible things being done to those rediscovered femmes.

The arrival of not only another femme, but a sparkling femme as well very nearly blew their circuits. They broke out the high grade and had a wild night, though the femme they were having it in honor of was hiding in her room with Forcia and the Autobot Arcee. They didn't care. Their species wasn't doomed.

Devcon specifically sought out Hot Rod to apologize for the death of his sister, even more miserable when he realized her brother was a slagging _Prime_. Until Rodimus had gently informed him that Bravura was, while in a very grave situation, very much alive.

"She's been held prisoner over a stellar cycle now," the smaller red mech told Devcon quietly. "Don't look like that, I don't blame you. The Seekers are on their way to save her."

Devcon twitched. "The Seekers?"

"Yeah. Skywarp's probably responsible for the rescue mission. He was the reason she left Earth in the first place. They were in love. Might have become mates in time, I guess."

Devcon clenched his fists. He'd suspected Skywarp was the mech she was following after her meltdown upon meeting him, but he _never_ would have guessed she was in _love _with him! A Decepticon!

"They'll bring her back," Rodimus said confidently, placing an arm on the bigger Autobot's shoulder. "We'll get her back."

* * *

Thundercracker wrenched Dirge's arm back, letting his cannon charge threateningly, the vibrations thundering through Dirge's back.

"Tell me where she is, you SLAGGER!" Skywarp had his own gun pointed at the fear-monger, while Starscream stood back looking rather bored.

"Predaca," he whimpered. The bot was easy to crack, and when the tables turned he was a absolute coward.

"Statistics!" Thundercracker snapped, wrenching the mech's arm.

"Organic planet, occupied by some fifty mechs. Led by Divebomb, seconded by a flyer named Sunstorm. They're experimenting with upgrades merging Cybertronians with true organic technology. Bravura's there, drugged."

Skywarp was so shocked at the immediate rush of information that he stood silent. Thundercracker took it up for him. "Defenses?"

"Strong. Skywarp could make it in by warping, but you other two would get blown to bits." Dirge's normally smooth and attractive voice was cracking with anxiety. "Look, I like that femme. I want you to he-"

"If you ever touch her again, I'll rip your head off your shoulders," Skywarp snarled, his deep voice dropping menacingly. "You're only as useful as the information you give us, and don't forget it. Would a hard and fast recovery mission be feasible?"

"Maybe. Depends on how fast you can get them all in and out. Sunstorm's not a serious fighter, but Divebomb's a crazy old bird and he's got some pretty vicious anti-aircraft set up all over the place."

"Not an issue," Starscream groused from the background. "We're the best flyers in the galaxy. Anti-aircraft is the least of our worries. How do you get planetside safely?"

"Signature clearance." Dirge sounded more uncomfortable than ever now that the Aerial Commander was getting involved.

"Can you sabotage the defense systems?"

"That's not my area of expertise."

"I _know that_, you slagger, I'm you're fragging Commander!" Starscream approached the three Seekers, his expression sour. "I'm asking if you can wrap your miserable processor around something so simple as shutting down or disabling a slagging defense system!"

"I think I can!" Dirge yelped when Thundercracker twisted his arm even more.

"Good. You're going to help us recover that abomination of a femme, and if you betray us you will finish your life in greater agony than you ever imagined."

* * *

Bravura was enjoying the new spring. The winter was fading, and the huge trees were brightening again. Their thick leaves never fell off, only changed color, but the green was coming back. The animals were returning too. She listened to their songs until the sound of an engine distracted her. She turned, expecting to see Sunstorm or Dirge, but a strange gray and blue flyer landed in front of her, an air of urgency about him.

"Hello," she said pleasantly. "Are you one of Seeker Dirge's flyers? You're not technorganic."

"It's me, Bravura," the blue mech said anxiously. "Thundercracker. Skywarp's brother."

"**The sky warp**?"

The bot started to say something, then stopped. "You don't remember me, do you? The drugs."

"I don't remember you, but I'm sure we can be friends. Flyers must stick together."

_Sunstorm to all battle worthy mechs, three unidentified signatures have been detected in atmosphere. Our defenses are down. Anti aircraft stations are to be manned. Bravura, report to me immediately!_

The femme flinched. "I'm sorry Thundercracker, I must go. Sunstorm wants me."

"No, stay with me. You don't have to listen to him anymore."

"You don't understand, I have to go. He'll get angry!"

Thundercracker stepped close and grabbed her shoulder tightly. "We came here, Skywarp and Starscream and me, to save you. We're getting out of here."

She tried to step away, but his grip was too tight. "I don't want to go."

"Bravura, we're going to take you home. To Sol. Don't you want to see Hot Rod again?!"

"Who's Hot Rod?"

"You're _brother!_"

She gasped. She didn't have a brother. She would remember a brother. She would… she would…

**You'll never be alone again**...

She whimpered as the memory creaked into her thoughts, a light male voice speaking in the other language she somehow knew.

"I have to go!" she screamed, ripping away from the bigger mech without warning. He tried to catch her, but she slithered away from him and jetted into the trees, seeking the cover of the leaves.

He tried to follow, but his larger size hampered him. She leapt from branch to branch until she felt he was far enough behind, pausing on a heavy branch and listening for his clumsy thrashings and the sounds of his engines some small distance away, then transformed and blasted through the greenery and exploded up into open air, multi-colored leaves bursting around her and burning behind her. She set a course for the latent coordinates in the message she'd received from Sunstorm, flying as fast as she could.

She flew low to the trees, dropping to the plains as soon as the forest thinned and disappeared. She had a bad feeling. It was confirmed when she reached the coordinates and far in the distance she could see Sunstorm flying fast, dropping from a line of clouds, wisps trailing behind him.

But he was followed. A black jet trailed closely, as well as a gray and black one of a different shap behind that. They were chasing Sunstorm! She accelerated to nearly unsafe atmospheric speeds in order to catch up, meaning to intercept them from the side.

_Slag, TC, what's she doing? _

_I don't know, but I'm gonna blow that slagger to pieces. Get her out of my way!_

_NO!_ She screamed on the frequency they were using. She was so close to Sunstorm.

_Bravura, run! Get to Divebomb, these Seekers are going to kill you!_ Sunstorm, the brave and powerful Sunstorm, sounded terrified on the other com channel.

_I'm not leaving you!_ She screamed back. _I would nev-_

She was distracted by a boom and the heavy push of decompressing air. There was the sound of metal shifting and powerful hands gripped her wings.

There was a frightening sound behind her, the sound of an explosion of thunder approaching, but then-

_darkness and cold and loneliness_

-replaced by the brightness of Predaca only a moment later. The explosive sound was farther away now, but she could see what was happening all too well. Some kind of percussive weapon had been fired from Thundercracker at Sunstorm, and she could do little more than watch and scream while it blasted into him and sent him spiraling to the ground.

The mech gripping her released her, so she aimed for the falling Sunstorm. If he hit that the ground at that speed he would be hurt, so she transformed as soon as she was close enough to reach him and used her thrusters to try to slow his fall.

The ground jarred them both, but did no extra damage. Sunstorm was conscious, but badly damaged. He transformed and pulled himself off of her.

"Run, Bravura. They're too powerful."

"No, I'm not running."

"RUN, you little GLITCH!"

She stiffened and pulled herself to her feet. "No."

The three mechs landed on after the other then, surrounding them. What happened next was too confusing for the drugged femme to follow, but inexplicably she was being restrained by the gray flyer while Thundercracker and the black and purple mech attacked Sunstorm.

No matter how much she screamed, they didn't stop. They pulled off his wings. His arm. They shot him in the side. Finally, they shot him in the face and then pulled his head off.

She was hysterical. The mech behind her kept telling her to shut up, even shook her violently, but she didn't care. They killed Sunstorm!

"She's your pet project, Skywarp, take her! I can't handle this!" The mech behind her shook her again.

The black mech, covered in Sunstorm's energon, looked up from the shattered golden body and at Bravura. At her crying, terrified expression.

He crossed the distance to her and took her from Starscream. He lifted her struggling form and jumped into the air, warping again.

This time the warmth didn't return. Bravura was achingly cold, her body creaked, and the murderer embracing her wasn't letting her go. He pressed his face to her helm, sending messages through their touch, but she wasn't listening. Sunstorm was dead.

_How could you_? She asked plaintively.

_Bravura, it's me. Skywarp._

But she wouldn't listen.

* * *

The femme was delirious for cycles. They herded her, forced her to fly away from Predaca as quickly as possible. Skywarp jumped with her a few times, but he'd taxed himself excessively with his back-to-back jumps on the planet and couldn't go much further without losing his defensive abilities. So far, Predaca hadn't followed them. As Dirge had predicted, when they killed Sunstorm the chain of command had been broken and Divebomb couldn't organize a counterattack in time.

She didn't recognize any of them. She cried about Sunstorm excessively until she fell into recharge and gave the mechs a chance to hear themselves think. When she woke up, she was confused

_Where am I? What's going on?_

_We're taking you to Earth,_ Thundercracker had muttered in exasperation.

_Earth?_

Nobody had answered her, but a few hours later her whimper had crackled into their coms again. _Earth is home, isn't it._

_Yes,_ Skywarp said excitedly. _It's home. Do you remember?_

_I… _she never finished, and didn't speak again, recharging again later.

When she came to again she was definitely more aware.

_Thundercracker, _she exploded a few minutes after they felt her systems come online. She didn't shield her signature the way she had at the hospital, Skywarp noted.

_Yes?_

_**Oh my God.**_

_**Bravura? **_Skywarp tentatively tried for her attention.

There was a soft sob, and then Bravura drifted closer to Skywarp in the formation. _**You're a sky warp**__, she cried. __**Skywarp. It's you. Oh God, it's you. **_

She transformed abruptly and Skywarp followed suit, flying to her and wrapping his arms around the violently shaking femme.

_**It's ok now, love. It's ok. We're here. We're going to protect you until we get to Earth, and then you'll have Hot Rod again.**_

She spoke gibberish for a bit, and at first Skywarp thought it was because she was emotionally overcome. But then her head snapped backwards awkwardly, her legs jerked, her mouth worked like she was trying to make sounds in the vacuum of space.

And Skywarp realized with a sparkstopping jolt that she was having withdrawals. She hadn't had the drug for solar cycles, and she was seizing.

_Starscream, she's withdrawing. What the slag do we do?_

_Let her come off it_.

_I don't think it's that easy. She's… she's freaking out. I don't think it'll just pass. _Her body arched and jerked in his arms, her optics blinking on and off sickeningly. _She's gonna die, Screamer…_

Skywarp was shocked when Starscream slid next to them and transformed, gingerly plucking the writhing femme out of Skywarp's protective hold. He opened her chest and plugged into her in just a few moments, and about a minute after that her seizing stopped, her optics dimmed and her body went slack.

_She's in forced stasis. We'll keep her that way until we can give her to the Autobots. Let them deal with it.

* * *

_

I woke up feeling tremendously weak. My limbs, my neck, my head itched like fire. I couldn't see properly out of one optic, but my audials were fine.

"Bravura? Can you hear me?"

I turned to look to the voice and gave a little gasp. I knew that face. It was… it was…

"Ratchet?"

He smiled. "Yes."

My body began to shiver with disbelief. "It's you. You're… you saved me. The Autobots saved me."

"Not… exactly. You've been in the medbay for over a month, and everyone's anxious to see you. We can explain everything later, but you have a couple of mechs who can't wait to make sure you're ok." Ratchet raised his voice, and in response I heard two sets of feet start towards the bed I'd been placed on.

One glance nearly broke my spark from joy. My optics went straight to Hot Rod, but when I tried to sit up I swooned dizzily. I didn't care. My brother caught me as I slipped off the bed and nearly tipped sideways, his arms curling around me. As our chests came close our sparks leapt towards each other, mine beating against its casing just as I could feel his doing only inches away.

"You're ok," he whispered into my neck. "Oh, Bravura. You're ok."

I couldn't speak. My sobbing was only a little muffled by his shoulder, but then I saw the dark blue paint job of the other mech who'd come to see me. Reaching outside of Hot Rod's embrace, I tried to bridge the gap between Mirage and the two of us. He took my hand then joined in our embrace, Hot Rod shifting to accept him into it.

With Hot Rod's face pressed to my neck and mine to Mirage's, I felt safe. My sobs of joy grew stronger, and soon Hot Rod joined me, my own emotional state overcoming the control he was trying to show. Mirage was quiet, but as he tenderly stroked me from helm to shoulder I felt him shiver just slightly.

_I love you both so much,_ I managed to send to the mechs. _I was so afraid._

The arms around me tightened, though Hot Rod leaned back from me slightly to look up over me to Mirage. He was saying something to the other mech, but I was excluded. He looked down from the Elite and his serious expression softened into a joyful smile.

"You're safe now. We're never going to let anything ever happen to you again."

My nod would have to suffice, because my vocal processors were too tight to speak with. Slowly, regretfully, the two mechs eased back and let a few feet separate us, though both kept a hand on my shoulder.

Ratchet was standing back, his expression unusually approving until he realized I was looking at him. He instantly went 'medic' on us.

"Now, she's had enough stress and excitement. I need to help her recalibrate and readjust, so you two get out. I'll call you when she's safe to leave the bay."

"Ok, Ratchet," they both said together. Hot Rod hugged me quickly, his cheek against mine.

_See you soon,_ he said.

Mirage hugged me next. He was taller than Hot Rod and so had to bend lower to reach my face, so he just let his head rest on my helm. _It's good to have you back.

* * *

_

Next Ratchet's going to explain what they had to do in order the get her out of the red, she's going to be overwhelmed a lot and there will be fluff, and we'll get to see what Megatron does when the trine reappears after going AWOL. Sparkling cuteness too, eventually. Review, my lovelies.


	24. Chapter 24

Had to write a few thousand words for a few different papers the other day it stressed me out like nobody's business, so I stress wrote another few thousand words. Every say thank you to dixiegurl13 for being a willing encyclopedia of military knowledge :)

From here on out only **Cybertronian** will be in bold, English will be regular.

* * *

Ratchet had to help me get back on the exam table. My arms and legs shook faintly and I was sort of dizzy.

"Hey, is this from being in stasis so long? When will the shaking stop?"

Ratchet cleared his processors then looked at me in the optic. "Bravura, you weren't weaned off the drug the way you should have been. You went cold turkey, and the damage to your memory core was very close to permanent. Your motor functions are impaired, maybe permanently. Your memory bank access seem to be returning slowly, you're already back to over seventy percent there…"

I tried to absorb that for a second. My memory wasn't completely back. My motor functions… I was impaired? I was handicapped?

"How bad is it? The impairment."

"Well… that remains to be seen. Even putting you in stasis only slowed the damage. You've probably noticed your right optic is malfunctioning? It's a problem in your processor, not just the optic, or I'd replace it." He touched the right side of my face, nudging it slightly as he stared into my optic. "Your vision may return, I've seen worse cases recover… Though honestly, you'll probably never be the way you were."

"I feel weak," I admitted. "Like someone could breath on me and I'd tip over."

He nodded. "That's why I'm grounding you. Look at yourself."

I looked down and gasped. He'd removed my alt mode!

"How dare you?" I snapped. "I'm not a soldier, you can't make me stay here!"

"Our roof, our rules. You should be familiar with the idea. Optimus doesn't want to give you the opportunity to get yourself killed as soon as you set foot outside. You're defenseless."

"Don't be stupid," I grumbled. "I've got two knives and a gun." To make my point I tried to call up my plasma gun, but to my shock the protocols were missing. Completely absent. I extended my knives, but it didn't feel right… my hands disappeared normally, but they were replaced by… nubs. Shiny vaguely pointed nubs. My knives were gone! "What?! Did you do this too?" I screamed, looking up at Ratchet and waving an amputee's arm. Couldn't be _mine…_

"No."

For some reason seeing my body mutilated was too much. I stared up at the compassionate Ratchet, felt my face twisting and looked away when my first clicking sob shook through me. The bigger greenish-yellow mech bent down and put his hand on my shoulder comfortingly.

"You're not going to be judged, Bravura. The Primes and I will see to that."

My sob caught in my throat and I looked back up. "The Primes?"

Ratchet smiled. "You have a lot of catching up to do with your brother."

I frowned. "That doesn't tell me anything."

"I think Rodim- Hot Rod's the best candidate for catching you up with what's happened while you were gone. Until then, I want you to understand how serious your situation was and still is.

"Much of your memory connectivity is thanks to parts salvaged from a dead Decepticon. Your brother led a team out specifically to kill an enemy mech and take his parts, though we're generally concealing the fact from Optimus."

I shook my head in surprise. "Hot Rod wouldn't… do that."

"He did, and frankly if he hadn't you'd still be in stasis. You also have him to thank for your current drug-free state. He offered transfusions, though Mirage and Optimus contributed when they could."

"I don't understand," I said. Why had I needed transfusions?

"The drug was clinging to your system, much the way organic drugs will store themselves in human fat. I had to flush it loose with some chemicals that would've damaged you if left in your system, so… We drained you to near critical several times and replaced your energon with that of volunteers."

I felt sick. My memories were available to me because Hot Rod had killed a mech for parts, and I'd been kept alive on the fluids of the Autobots. I reached up and put my head in my hand, grimacing at the slight tinkling as my hand refused to stop shivering.

"They did it out of love. Hot Rod and Mirage, anyway. Optimus did it out of a sense of responsibility."

Out of nowhere my anger flared. "Responsibility? To what? To a messed up piece of junk femme with no value besides sucking up resources? Oh, wait! While I was out there two different medics explained to me in nearly the _exact same way_ that I might not be infertile, Ratchet! Does that have something to do with Optimus's _contributions?!_" My voice became shrill and simply cut out. I wanted to say more, but my throat wouldn't work. It felt locked.

Ratchet sighed. "Your chances of ever bearing a sparkling are so low that-"

I struggled with my throat and cut him off. "But I have chances! You left that little part out! Do you know how miserable I was, thinking I was useless?"

"It was only to protect you. From your own misdirected hopes, and from the hopes of others."

"Not to mention the predation of others," I unwillingly mumbled, remembering a dark night with Starscream and Skywarp so long ago. Skywarp had still loved me then.

"So you understand."

Ratchet's expression was hard when I looked at him. "Yeah, but it doesn't make it any easier to swallow. You lied to me, Ratchet."

"I only exaggerated the truth. Your chance of ever bearing a sparkling is so small, it barely bears thinking about."

I snorted. "It's at zero, now. Ratchet… I was an idiot."

He smiled uneasily. "Tell me something I don't know. But why the admittance?"

"I ran away from home, from my family, to chase a Decepticon. I trusted our love to see me through, but… instead, this happened to me."

"He's not exactly the most trustworthy of mechs, though I do have to say Skywarp's been causing the least trouble out of all the Seekers."

I flinched. "What?"

"Ever since they came back he's been fighting in the war again. For Megatron."

My head jerked sharply on my shoulders, a combination of my own second flinch and a hydraulic seizure. "H-h-he's fighting again? But he promised."

"He's a Decepticon, Bravura, and he always will be." Ratchet sounded nearly as disappointed as I did, but resigned all the same.

I clenched my fists and jammed them to my optics, shaking harder than ever. He'd left me on Tricora to come back to Earth and fight? He'd lied to me so easily. He never meant to come back, to be my mate…

"B-b-bastard," I shuddered out. "I can't… I can't believe… Hot Rod. I want Hot Rod, please make him come back. Please!"

Hot Rod's arrival was rapid. Apparently he'd already been on his way, listening in on my emotions.

"Shh, hush…" He picked up my now long thin form, following Ratchet's directions to a stretcher against the wall where he could pull a curtain for some privacy. My brother, his mood patient and understanding and remarkably tired, sat on the bed and then slowly leaned back, eventually arranging the two of us so that I was curled up mostly on his chest, both balanced on his armored chest and supported there. The stretcher was too narrow for us both, but neither of us cared for personal space at that point. I wanted to stay as close to him as possible for as long as possible.

I woke up to Hot Rod trying to extricate himself from our tangle of arms and legs. We were on our sides and I could still feel my spark's warmth, the comfort and strength it derived from being so near to its twin. The disappointment at being separated, too.

"Where are you going?" I asked. We couldn't have been recharging long, I was still exhausted.

"I've got to go play desk jockey. I'll be back later."

"Paperwork? When did you start doing paperwork?" I caught his hand as he sat up and started to stand.

"Um… About a year ago."

He was leaving something out, and he knew I knew. He looked at my frown and sighed. "Later, I'll fill you in. I'll even bring a list of all the Autobots who've come in your absence. You were busy out there," he said, brushing the side of my face along my scuffs. "Love you, honey."

"Love you too, Hot Rod."

Hot Rod left me, and for a while I considered going back to sleep, but the sound of a new mech arriving caught my interest.

"**What do you want**?" Ratchet asked, sounding more irritated than seemed necessary. I was surprised he used Cybertronian, they'd mostly avoided it before.

"**Wanted to see the fraglet.**"

There was a loud clang and some cursing in Cybertronian.

"**What the slag? I didn't do anything!**" Who belonged to that voice? I knew him.

"**She's been through the Pit, Sunstreaker, and if I hear you call her that again it'll be worse than a wrench next time!**"

"**Ok, Ok, Hatchet!" **Sunstreaker snapped as he poked his shiny yellow head around the curtain and ducked behind it when he saw I was up and listening.

"**Hey,**" he said quietly. "**I hear you're a drug addict.**"

"**No I'm not**," I grumbled.

"**I'm just teasing you.**" He sat on my bed next to me, seeming sort of awkward. It didn't suit the pretty mech.

"Are things better? Now that you've got Sideswipe again?"

Sunstreaker nodded. "You?" He switched to English easily. It wasn't that I wasn't comfortable with Cybertronian, far from it, but the idea of speaking my own language had its own thrill.

"Yeah."

"Ok. Yeah, good. Just wanted to see how you were doing. You get more naked every time I see you."

The comment shocked me until I realized he was teasing. He didn't care, and I still had on my thin plating, not of an alt mode but the natural and spare stuff all Cybertronians grew.

I elbowed the mech with a chuckle. If Ratchet hadn't said his name I wouldn't have recognized him. He was slimmer now, less bulky, but he still had an incredibly dangerous and confident edge that I didn't ever want to be on the wrong end of. His new streamlined look unfortunately made him more attractive to me as well.

And you know, I was fine with it. I was too angry with Skywarp at the point to hate Sunstreaker's good looks on principle. Skywarp had abandoned me twice in my life. He'd lied to me, and as far as I was concerned he could suck lead.

Sunstreaker made a sound of surprise when I leaned against him, but he shifted his arm slightly so that it both held his weight and pressed against my back.

"You're shaking," he said softly. "You're not really ok, are you?"

I jerked away from the yellow fighter and clumsily slid off of the stretcher. "I'm fine," I snapped, gripping the edge while I got my legs to listen to me.

He stood up slowly, his blue optics eying me carefully. "It's not just your optic, is it. You're shaking because of the drugs."

"Yeah, so?" I snapped, trying to hide my insecurity with a tough exterior.

"Fine, I'll go if you're going to be so defensive. I was being nice, for Primus' sake!"

I flinched when he said the name, but no hands appeared out of nowhere to slap him or me, and I slowly relaxed again. Sunstorm was dead…

Sunstreaker left quickly, obviously irritated with me, but I didn't much care. I'd met him only once, and I had better friends here to lean on.

"Ratchet?" I called softly.

"He's not here," a crackly voice responded. I looked for the source and found a vivid blue mech looking at me about halfway across the med bay. He was about my size.

I stared at him blankly until he smiled. "I'm Jolt. Ratchet's backup."

"Oh," I said stupidly. I wasn't really prepared to meet strange mechs. I just wanted to find Mirage. When I asked where he was Jolt reached up and tapped his chin as if he were thinking. He was probably sounding the Autobot out, to see if he was even in the underground city or not.

"He's on his way," the medic said after a moment. "Why don't you sit down?" the med asked, coming to me and gripping me by the elbow. "You look like you'll tip over any moment."

"I feel like I will," I grumbled. "I'm so _tired._"

"That's probably going to be a problem for you for… well. It depends on if you energon absorption ever gets back to normal. Despite our best intentions when we scrubbed your system we damaged your injectors and absorbency ratio."

I hugged myself lightly, sliding down to the Cybertronian-sized desk chair Jolt took me to. "So not only do I shake like a leaf, but I have an energy problem?"

Jolt nodded. "Energy efficiency is my area of expertise, so don't worry. We'll get it all sorted out in no time, we just need the right parts. Next time, when they down the right kind of Decepticon."

"Uh huh…" I'd learned in Tricora that Cybertronians had something like a blood type when it came to parts. Energon was interchangeable no matter the bot, but the living metal had to be compatible to work as a replacement. Frenzy, for example, was my genetic equal, but it was unlikely that I could trade metal with, say, Ironhide.

Whatever happened to Frenzy and Barricade? Now that Megatron was alive would they fall back in line, or keep going solo like when Starscream had tried to take over?

The door to the med bay opened and Mirage stepped in. He looked different, still dark blue, but slightly different in shape. He still had the finials framing his face, giving him a distinctive look much like Sunstreaker, but his helm was shaped differently and his overall silhouette was slightly slimmer. He still had his big rifle slung on his shoulder.

"You got a new alt mode," I said, rising and taking both his hands in mine as he came to me. He was staring at me so intensely that I had a bolt of self-consciousness. My optic was on the fritz, my vision in it blinking in and out, and my whole body shivered just enough to notice. The scuffs on my cheek suddenly felt huge.

"The old one was outdated. You were gone five and half years, you know. Hot Rod changed his too."

I hadn't noticed Hot Rod was any different, I'd been so emotional… But the time…? This news made me pull away from the hug I was about to give the Elite. Five and half years?

He saw my look of surprise and leaned in, wrapping me up in a hug that I quickly returned. It was so strange to be able to hug him properly. The last time I'd seen him I'd been lucky to get my arms around his neck if he picked me up, now I was only a few feet shorter than him. Mirage was about the same size as Devcon.

Had Devcon taken that femme and sparkling to Earth like I'd asked him to?

The more I thought the more I realized I didn't know. I was so caught up in my questions that I didn't realize I'd been hugging Mirage silently for over a minute, at least not until Jolt coughed softly.

"Oh," I said, stepping away from Mirage. He let me go but his fingers glided down my arms as if he was afraid I'd disappear if he broke contact. I backed into the chair I'd been sitting in and fell into it with an awkward clang.

The Elite watched me solemnly until I looked away, pressing my hand to my face in embarrassment.

"Can she leave the med bay?"

"Uh… A short walk, if she's up for it. Nothing too exciting or strenuous, her energy is liable to deplete rapidly." Jolt didn't sound sure, but I kind of wanted to see the City again. To see if it had changed.

"Ok. Bravura? Want to walk?"

His silvery hand appeared in front of me and I took it without thinking, letting him gently help me up and feeling pitiful for appreciating the slight boost. Every movement took so much _effort!_

The dark blue mech offered me his arm and I slid my hand into the crook of his elbow, overly aware that my exoskin tinkled against his in my constant jittering. He didn't seem to mind, only overlapped my hand with his and led me from the med bay into the familiar halls of the City.

For all appearances it hadn't changed. Cement and a few splashes of paint to point people in the right direction. Gray.

If I tried hard enough I could remember the sound of water splashing on rocks into a perfect pool while little creatures played in the shelter of vast trees hundreds of feet overhead…

Mirage stopped when I did and removed my hand from his arm to put it around my shoulders.

"Are you ok, Bravura?"

His expression was incredibly tender, and the familiar face was one of three that had been haunting my unconscious nightmares for over a year. He didn't seem surprised when I leaned hard again him. I heaved a strangled sob before controlling myself and the mech clucked soothingly.

"I love you Mirage," I mumbled against his chest. It was the only way I could express the intense and consuming relief it was to be with him, my dearest friend.

"I love you too. God, I missed you."

I looked up at him with an awkward smile. "_God_? Not Primus?"

He shrugged slightly. "Plenty of us have gone native. The squishies aren't so bad, you know."

My laughed seemed to give him some relief and he slowly pulled himself away, keeping his arm around my shoulder. "Come on. We'll get you some energon."

It gave me some shame, but I had to use Mirage's supporting arm to keep from falling more than a few times. After the second time he only gripped me a little tighter. If I wasn't so desperate to confirm to my still leering mind that he was real I would've been embarrassed… but I was just so happy that being on Earth wasn't a dream. I was with Mirage and Hot Rod again.

The rec. hall wasn't much changed from before. There were more tables and chairs strewn about, both human towards the center with the larger Cybertronian furnishings towards the outside, nearer the walls.

There were several humans there, plus two mechs I didn't recognize. I noticed casually that one was a flyer, brown and tan. He was sitting with a smaller mech looking patriotic in red, white and blue. They watched us and the smaller one stood, started to wave at us, but the bigger one grabbed him and forced him back into his chair. I was grateful: I didn't want to meet anybody new right now.

Mirage took me to a Cybertronian table and pulled out my chair, let me sit and pushed it back in like the gentleman he'd been raised as. He gave me a comforting pat and went to get some energon from the dispenser.

Almost as soon as Mirage left a human left a table with a few others and made his way towards me. At first I didn't I didn't notice him, but then he cleared his throat and I looked down, unsure what to expect.

"Zeke!" I gasped.

"Hey Bravo," he said, craning his neck to look up at me even seated. "Somebody took you to the garbage dump and back," he said unashamedly.

For some reason this easy acknowledgment of my obvious predicament made me feel better. "Yeah, twice. Look at you…" I bent down and nudged his shoulder, where some significant looking pins were resting. "Moving up?

"Sergeant First Class," the small organic said proudly.

"Hey, that's awesome," I said, knowing absolutely nothing about military ranking. "Sounds nice and bossy."

"Only where it counts," he said with an easy smile. "You and Mirage, huh? I guess I shoulda seen that one coming."

I frowned and laughed nervously. "What one? I mean… I practically just woke up. He's getting me settled."

"Yeah, he practically carried you in here and is in the process of treating you like a princess. I'd say that's more like settling down."

I actually squawked at that, an electronic and vibrating noise that made several of the eavesdropping humans laugh as well as Zeke.

"Hey, ok. He's just being nice. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Hey, Raj. Nobody told me our Sleeping Beauty was up."

Mirage appeared at the table, setting down a cube in front of me before sitting himself. "Sleeping Beauty needs to take it easy," Mirage said meaningfully. "So maybe watch the chitchat?"

Zeke stared at Mirage for a second, then began with an "Oh, you mean- Yeah. Hey, nice seeing you, Bravo. Get that twitch looked at, big girl."

"Bye Zeke," I said. He gave me a playful two-fingered salute and then walked back to his table. My attention turned back to Mirage. "What did you mean? Watch the chitchat."

"Just… you know, nothing too exciting until you're doing better." He sounded uncomfortable, but I didn't feel like pushing it. Instead, I lifted my soft blue energon cube and almost took a sip.

Except memories of solar energon roared to the surface and brought to mind a frightening emptiness…

Mirage jumped when I slammed the cube back on the table before shoving my chair out and standing. The chair served as a ready crutch and I used it to steady myself before I started for the doors of the rec. hall. Mirage was after me in seconds, his arm around my shoulder and helping me as I made my way rapidly and unsteadily to the hall.

_What's wrong?_ He asked frantically. _What is it?_

_Nothing! _I snapped back. _Just… solar energon, it's what… NOTHING!_ I shoved away from Mirage, breaking his grip only because he was so surprised by it. I fumbled my way to the wall and leaned against it until a sudden bout of vertigo passed.

_Take me to my room… Do I even have a room anywhere? Please just take me somewhere!_ Humans were walking by and their unabashed stares were too much.

Without another word Mirage bent and picked me up bridal style. I didn't even bother to feel more embarrassed than I already was, only hid my face against his shoulder and let him take me wherever he wanted to.

Which turned out to be his quarters. He hefted me slightly to get the door open and shut it behind him, then went to his berth and sat down, letting me arrange myself against him in his lap. His arms wrapped around me protectively and his pressed his lips to my helm, a soft comforting hum coming from his chest.

_You always liked being held like this,_ he informed me unnecessarily. _It reminds me of how young you are. You're… you're not small anymore. You look so grown up. It's easy to forget._

_I know I'm acting like a child,_ I thought to him and curled my body towards him a little more. _It was… just… such a _mistake_. Not just leaving home or any of the thousand other stupid things I did. He was a mistake._

Mirage rubbed up and down my back, somehow avoiding my vestigial wings as if he knew what it would do to me.

_Just… _ I continued when it was clear he was going to listen, _I trusted him. So much that I believed no matter what happened, even if I left home, he'd find a way back to me and I'd be safe again. But… he abandoned me and came back here to try and kill my friends._ A whimper escaped me and Mirage clucked softly, shifting his head so that his cheek rested on my helm.

_Who do you think brought you home?_ Mirage asked reluctantly.

_Um…_ I hadn't considered that. Autobots, I'd assumed, but I didn't know which ones for sure. Somebody with enough firepower to tackle Predaca. _Uh… Ultra Magnus?_

_The Command Trine, Bravura. They just disappeared one day and came back more than a year later with you. And Dirge._

_"_Dirge?!" I yelped out loud and looked up at my friend in astonishment.

"Shh," Mirage purred. "He's too afraid of us to try anything. He's only brave when he's the one in control, as soon as things get rough he turns into a blubbering sparkling."

The shock of Dirge's presence on Earth faded after several long moments of me staring up at Mirage, but then the other news came to the forefront.

"Skywarp came to Earth to get his brothers? And then…"

A disjointed slideshow of memories cropped up, Thundercracker talking to me in the deep shade of the trees, a strong mech grabbing me and carrying me through nothingness and back just before Thundercracker's explosive weapon could hit me as it…

The two of them tearing apart the smaller golden flyer while a gray mech, Starscream, held me back.

"Oh, Primus," I moaned. "He did. They did. Oh, _Primus,_ Mirage…"

Mirage made a faintly frustrated noise and stroked the back of my head. "Don't worry about it right now, ok? He still turned on us. He's fighting for _them_ again. He's still not the bot you thought he was.

"Oh," I said, my bewilderment and hope crushing inwards instantly. "Yeah. Yeah…"

Mirage seemed perfectly fine when I settled my head against his chest and sighed deeply, physically and emotionally exhausted.

_Gotta work soon? _I asked as an afterthought.

_No. Got the day off. Sleep._

I did, surrendering to the companionship and protection Mirage offered me.

A soft knock woke me up. Mirage slowly rose, keeping me cradled against him somewhat awkwardly as he went to the door and opened it. Waking up was so hard, something I hadn't ever dealt with in my metal body. It felt like being human again. Blearily I made out Hot Rod at the door and shifted to give Mirage a better hold on me, smiling at my brother until I realized that the oppressive anger and jealousy at the back of my mind was his.

"What the slag are you doing? She should be in the med bay. She's barely out of the red and you're-"

"She wanted to get up and walk. Something upset her and I figured she'd be happier with some privacy instead of having Jolt or Ratchet breathing down her neck about getting worked up. She's fine, sir."

"I'm fine," I echoed to Hot Rod. "Just tired." Mirage had called Hot Rod 'sir.' I half chuckled at that and pressed my face against the blue mech until I felt Hot Rod's jealously flare again. "Do I have to go back to the med bay?" I asked my brother piteously.

"Yes," he said, his irritation softening. He'd known how safe I'd felt with Mirage and how the prospect of the cold lonely med bay made me wilt, but he was also certain he was right.

"Ok… You can put me down, Mirage. I'm not broken."

He didn't say anything to that, just slowly lowered me until my feet touched the cold hard floor and let me use him for balance until I felt steady enough to walk to Hot Rod. My brother took my hand, looking at Mirage over me, and the tension he exuded shocked me.

"Wait a minute," I said, looking to Mirage, whose expression snapped from hard and accusing to blank in an instant. "What's going on between you two?"

Mirage's optic ridges twitched down, but neither said anything. I looked up at Hot Rod. "Why are you acting like… competitors?" They'd been _friends_ when I'd left home.

"A lot happened when you were gone," Hot Rod said.

"Yeah, people keep saying that but nobody will tell me what _happened_!"

"Tell her, _Rodimus._" Mirage sounded

"What? Rodimus? What is that, some stupid nickname?" I looked at my brother, but he was looking away.

"Bravura," he said slowly, "long ago there were great leaders called Primes." He used his grip on my hand to tug me into Mirage's quarters. The dark blue mech stepped aside and let us in before shutting the door. Hot Rod made me sit down and settled next to me, but Mirage stood over us, arms cross over his chest.

"Ok, so?"

"They were endowed with natural leadership. Other bots recognized that and looked to them for guidance. Almost without exception they were everything our kind could ask for.

"The first of them are all dead. They sacrificed themselves." Mirage snorted softly, but Hot Rod ignored him. "Some of them had mates. Children. For the most part they were lost to memory, hiding in plain sight. Now and again one would rise up and try to right the wrongs of our race. Sentinel Prime did it once, as Optimus did when Megatron tried to take the Allspark. Normally only one will appear, though for whatever reason we don't know.

"But… Optimus died while you were gone. He was revived by a sacred artifact called the Matrix of Leadership, but in the time between his death and resurrection… It must have awakened something in me. The need for a leader…"

I looked at Mirage, not comprehending, then back to Hot Rod. "What are you saying?"

"After Optimus was revived everything seemed to go back to normal. Until a fight over a new renewable power generator. Starscream wanted to take Arcee. He's still trying to experiment with… what made you. And he thinks Arcee's the key, because she's a femme. He doesn't know she's… anyway-"

"Who's Arcee?" I asked blankly.

"Oh… an Autobot. She was damaged, blown to pieces, but by some miracle she survived. Still in three pieces. She's the same femme in all three, just… three bodies. Anyway, he cornered one of her and I tried to tear him off. Not the smartest thing I've ever done, but if he's right… he can't be allowed to have control of that kind of technology. He'd make a race of emotionally crippled beings… But… Optimus appeared out of nowhere and beat Starscream's aft. And then the Matrix, which he carries, responded to me. Out of nowhere he realized I'm a descendant of a Prime. So… now they call me Rodimus Prime.

"Mirage thinks I'm not worthy of the title, because of how I let you run away before."

He stopped abruptly, his grip tight on my hand.

"Ok… so… there were Primes. They all died, but they had kids. Optimus is related to them. He died. He came back to life. He made you a Prime."

"No, I was already a Prime. It just wasn't… awake. The Matrix sensed that it had been… activated. Probably when Optimus died. Now there are two Primes, something that hasn't happened for thousands of years."

I looked up at Mirage. "It wasn't his fault," I said, my voice edging close to pleading. "I was just… stupid. He couldn't stop me." I laughed faintly. "The only way anyone could have stopped me was to take my wings." I sobered when I realized that's exactly what they'd done. Hot Rod… no, Rodimus, squeezed my hand a little tighter.

Mirage sighed. "Look… no matter whose fault it was, you're back now. You're alive, and you're safe."

"So… why do you still act like you blame him?"

The Elite stiffened. "You act like you know anything about it. You just got here, Bravura."

I flinched and looked away.

Hot Rod let go of me and stood up. "What the frell is wrong with you?" He asked, his voice taking on a condescending tone I'd never heard him use before. "Give her a break! She means well, just give her a fragging minute to get the picture ok!"

"Oh, NOW you protect her! You think you can make up for all your mistakes by getting it right now? You're a FAILURE!"

Hot Rod lunged at Mirage and the two hit the door. It lurched open and the two spilled into the hall. Luckily there weren't any humans in the way. They had no reason to be near the mechs' quarters.

"Stop it!" I shrieked. They didn't hear me or didn't care, Mirage swinging on top of the smaller mech and throwing a punch at the red mech's face. I tried to grab his arm when he cocked it back for another but he shrugged me off effortlessly and punched my brother again. "Stop it! Please, just stop it! DON'T FIGHT!"

The sound of heavy footsteps distracted me just before two bots, one mostly red and the other red and white, dove into the fray, ultimately ripping my brother and my best friend apart.

"What's gotten into you two?!" The bigger red one had Mirage and he wasn't handling him gently. I slid to the floor in relief, shaking like a leaf. I realized that I was still making tiny noises of fear and did my best to stop it.

"Optimus is going to hear about this," the red and white one said. "To think, of all the mechs, it's you two? An Elite and a Prime?!"

"It wasn't as bad as it looked, Red Alert," Mirage said, while Hot Rod grumbled a protest.

"If I let you go," the big red one said, "will you stay civil?"

"I'm over it," Mirage grumbled. The big mech released him and Mirage stepped away, shaking himself a little before looking at me where I sat on the floor. "Oh. Bravura, I didn't-"

"Don't!" Hot Rod snapped as Red Alert let him ago. "Talk to her again and I swear not even Inferno's going to be able to save your aft!"

"Big talk, little mech," Mirage growled, his posture turning competitive again.

"Please stop it," I whimpered, still shaken. "I love you both. Don't fight."

The big red one, Inferno I assumed, looked down at me for the first time and cursed in Cybertronian. Before I knew it he'd bent down and scooped me up.

"How juvenile can you both be?" He nearly roared. "She should be taking it easy in the med bay! What is _wrong with you_?!" He turned suddenly, making me dizzy, and began to march away from the other three rapidly. I was too shocked to protest. "Take care of them, would you Red?" He cursed again, under his breath this time, but didn't look down at me. I waited stiffly in his arms while he took me back to the med bay.

So much had happened while I was gone.

* * *

Skywarp slowed down a bit as he flew over the hilly terrain. Oil rigs were hiding in the tale pine trees, and while the oil was an incredibly slow way to obtain usable energon it was better than nothing. The guerilla warfare was less likely to break out into a full-scale battle. In real battles it was a lot harder to get away with going easy on the Autobots.

Everything had been harder since he'd gotten back. The whole trine had been punished viciously, Starscream and Thundercracker for going AWOL and Skywarp for being pansy enough to need their help. Megatron still didn't know what the black and purple Seeker had needed their help with, and he hadn't asked. A trine had a right to a few secrets.

Still, his previous ability to stay under Megatron's radar had disappeared. Where once only Starscream received the brunt of the abuse, he now turned it on Skywarp as often as he did Screamer. Strangely enough Starscream got no satisfaction and even pitied Skywarp for it. The two of them were closer for it, something Skywarp had never dreamed would happen. Thundercracker, far from feeling left out, was relieved when he realized his brothers were healing the rift they'd had ever since Starscream had killed Frequency.

So… the trine was better. Skywarp had to be thankful for that. But he worried about Bravura.

_"It's not good," Ratchet said to the waiting Skywarp. "You did right to put her in stasis, but it would have been better if you'd just weaned her off the drug. She's going to need replacement parts, and… honestly, I don't think she'll ever be the same. She's going to be a cripple. Some things can't just be replaced."_

That was the last time he'd seen her, lying still and stripped to her frame. She looked so delicate, so innocent. Was she online yet? The Autobots had killed and gutted Ransack a week after he'd returned Bravura to them. The discovery of the body, picked clean of usable parts, had piqued Megatron's interest ever since. Autobot's didn't do that kind of thing unless they were desperate.

That comforted Skywarp immensely. Somebody in the Autobots' ranks was desperate to take care of Bravura in the same way he was. Lucky them, they could just do it. Skywarp had to play like he cared about Megatron's Primus forsaken cause while his he trusted his femme to a bunch of mechs he'd been fighting the entire war.

* * *

R & R kids! *accusatory glare*


	25. Chapter 25

Obviously I'm kind of not cool with RotF in many ways…. Like the time line, for instance… I'm kind of fond of the million years passing like nothing G1 style, while in rotf the whole prime thing happened what, 20k years ago? But I'm going to stick to it at least in part. I don't think I've made a lot of reference to lifespan and such, so I'm gonna adjust something Hot Rod said in the last chapter from 'a million years' to 'thousands of years' in order to make the Fallen's dumbass plotline fit. I'm going to stop before I make a list of all the things I didn't like. I will gently (or not so gently) ridicule the movie and do my damnedest to make the stupid crap make sense if I don't just hack it out all together.

The song 'Any Other World' by Mika is a nice accompaniment for most of the scenes. :3

* * *

I'm going to stop before I make a list of all the things I didn't like. I will gently (or not so gently) ridicule the movie and do my damnedest to make the stupid crap make sense if I don't just hack it out all together.

Inferno set me down on the stretcher.

"You found her!" I heard Ratchet sigh with relief. "Who had her?"

"With Mirage and Rodimus. They were having a pissing contest in the halls. Could've hurt her."

"They were fighting?" Ratchet sounded more than irritated.

"Yeah. It's not over, either. Rodimus told Mirage to stay away from her."

I groaned and pulled my legs up on the stretcher, curling them underneath me. This was terrible. They weren't supposed to fight. What had happened so that they couldn't get along?

Why was coming home so hard? It was supposed to be happy, but nothing had gone right. I was crippled, the two mechs I needed most couldn't see optic to optic, Skywarp had saved me, but then gone back to the Decepticons…

My sob distracted the two mechs. Inferno disappeared instantly, rushing from the bay, but Ratchet came to my stretcher and rubbed my shoulder while casting a professional eye over me.

"Did they hurt you?"

"No!" I choked. I couldn't speak anymore, so I resorted to using his touch. _Not physically. How can they do this? I need them, and they're fighting!_

"There has been a lot of tension between them. Ever since you left, but worse when Mirage found out that you were getting hurt. He blames Rodimus. He hasn't outright said it, but he doesn't think our new Prime deserves the title or his responsibilities. He thinks the Matrix made a mistake."

I shrugged. After a minute I was calm enough to speak again. "Hot Rod doesn't feel any different to me. He's the same," I said, touching my chest where my spark pulsed underneath.

"He was always a Prime, but it was a latent quality. A defense mechanism, we believe. To prevent the dominance battles that ended the Primes before. The Fallen wasn't happy with equality."

"The Fallen?"

"The original Decepticon. He was… unnecessarily violent. He came to Earth twice, once long ago, well before your race was properly civilized. Again just shortly after you left, trying to use a redundant energy collector. We stopped him."

"Redundant? I thought you needed all the energy you could get."

"Redundant in its context. When he built it, the Allspark still rested on Cybertron. We didn't need extra energy, because the Allspark took care of our needs.

"It didn't approve of the sort of expansions the Fallen wanted to make, as they were frivolous and overreaching, and it refused to power his endeavors, so he developed a system to extract the energy from stars. He broke the law stating he could not take a star from a planet with life, so the other Primes, who apparently couldn't stop him despite their superior numbers, created a tomb of their own bodies to hide the Matrix of Leadership, the key to the Sun Harvester. They could've just left with it but… Anyway, Optimus was dead during much of the fighting with the Fallen and Rodimus Prime's qualities came out. He'll never admit it, but when it mattered he made the right choices. We didn't even realize at the time, but he was easy to follow. We didn't have any casualties in the time Optimus was gone. Since then, however…"

I sighed, feeling more than a little defeated. I was exhausted, and on checking my energy level I was shocked to see how far it had dropped even though I'd spent nearly all my time just recharging.

"I have a problem, Ratch," I said quietly. "Uh… my energy is low, but… I can't drink the energon."

"Why not?"

Ratchet stared at me, then turned away and went to the storage unit for the med bay rations. He came back with a small cube and held it out to me, but I wouldn't take it.

"You don't trust us?"

I shrugged. "It's not that I don't trust you. You're like my extended family. It just reminds me of what happened."

Ratchet lifted the blue cube to his lips and drained half then looked down at me. "I drank it, didn't I? It's not drugged and you won't be either."

I cringed. There wasn't much choice if I was trapped underground, I couldn't collect solar energy myself so… My fingers curled under the cup and I took it from the bigger mech, lowering it to my lap and looking at it while I tried to gather my courage.

It was just energon. The kind I'd lived on when I'd first woken up a robot. The kind that I'd once savored because it reminded me of home. Now I was home and I didn't want anything to do with it.

Trying to think about anything else I lifted the energon to my lips and tossed it back doing my best to ignore the sizzling warnings my instincts were giving me. The cube, already half empty, emptied rapidly and I was left feeling physically sick. The anxiety and my own irrational conviction that the energon was unsafe made me want to purge.

Ratchet saw my expression and activated his medical equipment. Before I could protest he'd jabbed me with a surprisingly thin needle. Almost instantly I felt calmer and my nausea ceased.

"What was that?"

"Quillitate. Should last a few hours at that dose."

Quillitate was a mild relaxer. Mostly worked on hydraulics, forcing them to release slightly, and it was used fairly often at Tricora to calm frightened or overworked mechs who came to the hospital. It wasn't a strong or dangerous drug, though the nerve of Ratchet giving me drugs _knowing_ my new fear was sort of infuriating.

Nothing could have relaxed me more than seeing my brother and Mirage getting along. Spending time with them both had been something I'd yearned for since almost the moment I left Earth in the first place, but somehow without even being on the planet I'd managed to ruin things.

"You should go rest," Ratchet said. "While you're relaxed. Hot Rod will probably come back to recharge here, I couldn't convince him otherwise."

Thank Primus for small blessings. The only reason I was able to go back to the stretcher behind the curtain and let myself relax completely was because I knew I'd at least have my brother with me soon.

I woke up when he lifted me to situate himself on the stretcher. Once again he arranged me so that I was mostly atop him and I was so thrilled to have him with me again that I didn't mind the discomfort.

* * *

"Devcon's _here_?" I all but shrieked at Hot Rod. "Why didn't anybody tell me! And Curia? The sparkling?"

"Both safe. She's been asking about you too."

"Take me to them! I want to see them."

Hot Rod chuckled and patted my hand before reaching around me and pulling me to his side. We were sitting on the stretcher and we'd taken the opportunity to just _talk_, finally. He'd listed the new mechs, some of the things that had happened.

What happened to Sam was one of the most interesting. Sam was more or less the new outlet for the Allspark. He wasn't the Allspark in the same sense as it had once been, but the cube could act through him and it had several times, mostly in order to protect him. Optimus believed Sam had a greater role to play in the future of both our races and so was entirely dedicated to protecting the young man.

After Ratchet gave us the clear (along with a very explicit warning detailing all the ways Ratchet would frag Rodimus up if anything happened to me) we went out into the hallways again.

"Devcon's on patrol, but Curia's with Forcia on the upper deck. Artemis likes it up there."

"Forcia? Who's Artemis? Isn't that the name of a goddess?"

"Yeah. Curia named her sparkling Artemis after she arrived on Earth. She says she chose it because of you."

"Wh- That's silly! How does a name like that have anything to do with me?"

"She learned a bunch of stuff about the name, but I don't remember why it makes her think of you, something about independence."

Hot Rod ended up carrying me up the long, long stairwell to the upper deck. I just didn't have the endurance for it, but he wasn't bothered by it. On the contrary, I could tell that he was happy to be able to help me.

As the entrance came into view I heard a trilling nonsense babble and feminine laughter. Hot Rod felt my own answering excitement and chuckled. As we reached the top of the stairs he set me down and let me go out into the bay on my own.

Curia and a strange femme were sitting on the floor about 15 feet apart, and a little silver bot was running from one to the other squealing with delight.

I stopped short and Hot Rod bumped into my backside, but he caught me despite the fact that I seemed better designed for falling over than standing now. The little creature couldn't possibly be the sparkling. It had to be four feet tall! It'd been _tiny _when I'd last seen it, and seemingly unable to walk on its own.

_Ratchet built her a protoform. She's still behind, growth-wise, but she's at least able to walk and play, and she understands everything. We're all pretty attached to her._

Curia and the femme, Hot Rod had mentioned the name Forcia, looked up. Curia gasped in surprise and picked up the little sparkling who'd been jumping in place before her. The baby shrieked with joy when she saw Hot Rod, and my brother stepped forward to take the delighted child. He threw her up into the air, nearly giving me a spark attack, but Curia only stood back and smiled. He caught the sparkling and then cuddled her, speaking Cybertronian gibberish to her.

"Bravura," Curia said softly as Hot Rod spoiled her child. "It was such a relief to me when Rodimus told Devcon you were still alive. You have my greatest gratitude."

I smiled a shrugged awkwardly. "It was nothing. Really. It turned out for the best, right?"

"Right." She held up her hand and quickly stepped close, hugging me lightly. "If there's anything I can ever do for you please just ask."

The other femme got up, but she didn't seem nearly so friendly as Curia. She eyed me like a judge appraising a 4H pig. I tried to smile but it was difficult under that cold glare.

Hot Rod's hand touched mine as he lifted the sparkling to his shoulder, where she clung to his head and trilled with delight. _Uh… I forgot to tell you. Forcia's… Skywarp saved her. He got her out of the black market and gave her to Ultra Magnus. She kind of has this thing for him, because of it. After she found out about your history with him she kind of… I don't think she likes you._

What?! How dare that…! She was _not_ touching Skywarp. He might be a Decepticon but he loved _me,_ slag it all! He'd never have anything to do with a blocky dirt-kisser like her anyway. Who did she think she was!

Hot Rod suddenly leaned forward, putting the sparkling at my shoulder height. She happily jumped clumsily to me, clinging to my head as she found purchase on my thinner frame. My spark _immediately_ flared to life in the strange song it had sung for the sparkling before and she giggled, leaning far down my front and happily drumming her fists on my chest in time to the melody of my sparksong.

"Missy! No, Artemis, don't hit!" Curia seemed aghast, reaching to stop the sparkling, but I waved my hand dismissively.

"She's not hitting, she's playing music. It's ok, really." I let the baby slide forward and caught her at the front. I was surprised at the weight of her, but then I was hideously weak. She was still making happy nonsense sounds but it seemed to have a meaning, because she'd look at me and say things, point at me and Hot Rod and then laugh.

She was the cutest thing I'd ever seen.

"Watch out Rodimus, it looks like you're not the favorite anymore," Curia said. I got the impression that Hot Rod had spent a lot of time with the femme and her baby.

It made sense, really. My spark responded to the sparkling's naturally, and in turn my spark was a piece of Hot Rod's. He probably had the same kind of inclination towards sparklings that I did. His spark had sung for me once, after Skywarp pulled me from the ocean.

Skywarp. I glanced at Forcia, who was standing back somewhat looking just as hard as before. He was too good for that snobbish piece of aluminum scrap…

He was too good for me, come to think of it. My shaking, my weakness… Could I even fly if I tried? But that was a moot point. Skywarp was the enemy.

The sparkling crawled up my chest and pressed her cheek to mine, cooing as if to comfort me. The sweet gesture touched me deeply and I hugged her to me, trying to hide my face from the others. Hot Rod touched my shoulder and I let the sparkling slide down, forcing a smile.

"She's wonderful, Curia. I'm so glad you're happy here."

She took Artemis back when I held her out, and though the sparkling pouted she didn't cry.

"Well… we've been up here a while, and it's about time for Artemis to take her nap. See you two later. It's wonderful to have you with us, Bravura."

Hot Rod waved cheerfully and I said my goodbyes to Curia and Artemis, pointedly failing to acknowledge Forcia.

"You ok?" Hot Rod asked when they were out of range.

"As if you need to ask," I said, smiling at my brother sadly. "I'm really happy something good came out of me leaving. It… it makes being like this… worth it."

We both knew I was half lying. I wanted my old health back, and there wasn't much I wouldn't do for it. But I _was_ happy for Artemis and Curia. They deserved a little happiness too. I'd had my shot.

I went to the huge window wall and stared out at Nevada, my optics going straight to the sky. My whole body suddenly _yearned_ to fly and I had to restrain myself from trying to jump straight through the glass. I couldn't fly, maybe not ever again. The thought crushed me.

Hot Rod came up behind me and I turned to him, surrendering to his embrace. It was the most incredible thing, to have a perfect companion. He knew everything about what I was going through and I understood him.

The thought struck me that once, when I'd been human, I'd had a somewhat different kind of love for the red mech. I'd been prevented from truly loving him by our differences, then. How cruel could fate be, to give me the perfect friend and cut off any chance of anything beyond a platonic relationship? He wasn't my true brother, but my spark's twin all the same. Though metallically I was essentially a Frenzy in female form… _Genetically _we were unrelated_…_

_Do I want to know what's going on in there?_ Hot Rod asked playfully.

I gasped, overwhelmed with embarrassment. _No._

_Look… I know it's hard, knowing he's turned on us… He saved you, after all. But he can't be trusted, baby. He's unreliable.  
Yeah… you're right. It's just hard._ Let him think I was thinking about Skywarp. Oh, Primus… He was my _brother _for Christ's sake! _Do you have a while off? I kind of want to stay up here and bone up on what's happened in the world the last few years._

_ Sure._

Without having to be told he knew I'd want to stay as close to him as possible. He sat down where we stood before the glass and I followed, leaning against him and logging onto the Internet to catch up on the news.

* * *

"I know, Rodimus. I didn't mean to say it like that, you know I didn't. I just… she doesn't understand how I feel about everything yet. But she didn't deserve it, and neither did you. I'm sorry. Please don't try to keep me away from her. I've been just as worried as you. Please."

I realized with a start that I was listening to Mirage. I'd fallen asleep upright, Hot Rod bearing my weight like a trooper. Mirage sat on the other side of him.

"Yeah. I overreacted too, so don't feel like it's all your fault. I can't think of anybody besides Skywarp that she loves more than you, and it's unfair for me to tell her who she can see, even if that mech is an upper crust snob." His tone was lighthearted. "You've got her best interests at heart, and I trust you with her. Just don't give me a reason to regret that trust, ok? She's so vulnerable right now."

That didn't sound like the Hot Rod I knew. He used to hold grudges and stick to his guns… right now, he actually sounded… reasonable. Maybe being forced to play leader was really making a difference in him.

"It's rude to talk about people when they're unconscious," I mumbled, pushing myself upright. My energon level had dropped dramatically in my recharge, but not as badly as it could've been. A small amount of sunlight glowed into the large room though the sun had slid to the wrong side of the mesa, feeding my energy needs slightly.

"Hey," Hot Rod said. "We were just patching things up."

"I got that." I leaned around to look at Mirage. "I don't want there to be any bad blood between the three of us. I know things are different…"

I'd seen the news. Different was an understatement. The Autobots had been forced to rescue human officials several times, not always successfully. The Decepticons were steadily taking a chunk out of the Earth's total energy. The petroleum reserve, stored in massive underground caverns by the US for energy crises, had been tapped more than once. Even the petty thefts of solar panels were common. The worst thing, however, was how humankind had changed. They lived in fear, as any of them could be used to bargain with. Weaponry was the main focus, driving the economy. Decepticon activity and sightings were major segments of the news. Global warming had taken off for a brief time, killing off swaths of coral reefs and disrupting the food chain. Nations that relied on fish were suffering.

The Autobots had managed to bail us out of any further damage, since the rapidity of the change was in part due to the enemy's activity. Technology, where not weapons based, was frivolous and wasteful. Cancer, diabetes, AIDs… none of it was receiving the attention for finding a cure that it should. Young men formed gangs based around the Decepticons' apparent lifestyle and crime was higher than it had been in twenty years. Humanity had disappointed me.

I hated to think of how it'd disappointed Optimus.

"But I have faith in you both. You got along once, we can be a family again."

I immediately wished I could take back the word 'family,' but then I had to ask myself why. Why shouldn't I see Mirage as family? I wasn't interested in him like that… I wasn't.

"Ok," the dark blue mech said with a smile. Hot Rod was very calm, faintly happy, and Mirage seemed that way too. My smile matched Mirage's. As long as I had these two I could face anything.

I hoped.

* * *

Ratchet was running some tests on my motor skills while Jolt monitored my energy output. They wanted me to do something that required focus and control without physical strain, so I chose the walking kata I'd been taught years ago. At first I did well, having little trouble with the simple steps and turns, but as the steps began to turn 180s I had to bend my knees more, maintain balance.

After about ten minutes of my struggling Ratchet let me sit down with a cube of energon, which I force myself to choke down. Jolt showed Ratchet whatever data he'd collected, and the two conversed for some time before turning to me.

"It's not as bad as we thought," Ratchet said with some relief. "Your energy is draining at a rapid rate, but physically you're fairly sound. Fine motor movement is probably outside you range at the moment, but there's always hope you'll regain some of that in time. We've decided that in order to preserve our energon supplies you'll be allowed outside with a guard for two to three hours a day."

"A guard?"

"Rodimus will decide that. I imagine volunteer only, as most all of us are already loaded down with responsibilities and some may object, even if it is just orders to sit in the sun with a pretty femme," Jolt said. "I might even volunteer," he said with a chuckle despite the warning look Ratchet gave him.

"What about an alt mode?" I asked with little real hope.

The two mechs exchanged looks for a bit, probably talking it over.

"If you can stay conscious while forming one, you can keep it. But land based only. If I see a set of wings on you I'll personally remove them," Ratchet warned.

I started to perk up at first, but as I realized the grounding remained in effect I wilted. "Oh. Wheels only."

"I'll ask one of the boys to scan something for you on their patrols," Ratchet offered. "Color preference?"

I didn't really care… but familiar was better. If I could manage an alt mode at all. "Blue, like Jolt, or white. Or gray. Nothing too flashy."

Ratchet seemed to approve, and soon I was given the green light on wandering the base. Hot Rod still kept his old quarters and it was generally assumed I'd be staying with him, though I had no clue how we were supposed to fit on his berth comfortably every night. I didn't mind the messy pileup, but Hot Rod was a busy mech now. He needed his rest.

It seemed odd that Ratchet and Jolt were letting me go without an escort, but it was a relief too. I set my dutifully emptied energon cube aside and slid with agonizing caution to the concrete floor to leave the med bay.

"If you feel weak or dizzy outside what is normal contact me immediately on the Autobot frequency."

The Autobot frequency… I'd only used it twice before, once to address the City before I left to look for Warp and again in an act of desperation, the first time Dirge had me.

Dirge was on Earth. Strangely enough, the thought made me content to remain underground despite my growing need for flight. The Seeker may have given me the advice I needed to keep from getting myself killed on Predaca, but he'd still used me. Twice.

Blast my spark, it actually responded to the thought. Dirge was the only mech besides my brother who'd ever touched it, and for some ridiculous reason I didn't understand it was favorable towards him. The thought actually made me want to spark with someone else, just to erase its memory of Dirge.

Going out into the halls on my own was both daunting and uplifting. It made me nervous to walk past the humans, afraid my body would have a sudden fit and I'd hurt one, but the freedom and safety of _home_ was better than I'd ever dreamed.

I headed for the shooting range to use the training room that adjoined it. It was empty but for two humans who ignored me after a couple of glances. The training room was different, no longer just open space. I looked around from the door a long time, trying to decide what it reminded me of, but it wasn't until I walked into the main open area and a blue light flashed that I remembered. It was like the training room on the Autobot ship.

"**Neutral Bravura,**" the computer said calmly from above in an androgynous Cybertronian tone. "**You do not have authorization to use this training program. You may remain in the training zone, but be aware that other mechs may not train while you are within the boundary lines.**"

I snorted. Somebody, probably Prowl, had fed my signature into the machine and locked me out of it. I hadn't even wanted to use it, but the idea amused me anyway. I just wanted to practice my walking kata. Trying to do it in the repair bay had been an embarrassment, so I intended to practice.

* * *

Mirage 'heard' Bravura coming. She wasn't blocking her signatures like he'd thought she would. He was a little disappointed that she hadn't used his training feed, but that was all right. She was safe down here anyway. He'd been in the training room trying to configure something that would allow him to practice his with his rifle when the door had started to slide open. Without knowing why he activated his light bending utilities, allowing him to essentially go invisible.

He stayed where he was by the control panel of the training system and watched her listen to the computer deny her access. He'd installed the protocol himself, knowing that she'd push herself to do something stupid if she got frustrated enough. Instead of getting upset she shrugged it off and began a fairly simple martial arts kata.

She shivered almost constantly. Little twitches punctuated her movements in her shoulders, her head, and her feet jittered underneath her. Her optic flickered constantly, spending more time off than on. It was unpleasant to watch his little student, now a well-formed femme, suffer. She didn't look like a child anymore, with the characteristic rounded chest and narrow waist signaling physical maturity while standing over sixteen feet tall. She was still only in her early twenties. A toddler.

As painful as it was to watch her body fight with her, it wasn't much different from the way Swerve behaved. The red Corvette was a metallurgist and had spent so much time exposing himself to damaging chemicals that he'd become an unsteady mess not unlike Bravura. The mech had learned to focus enough for precision in his work, though.

Maybe when she was more settled in Mirage would ask Swerve to act as her counselor. She had always done better if someone helped her through her problems, not like her teacher. The Elite was best off if he mulled over his problems on his own, a throwback of his family pride.

Eventually the two humans left, leaving the two of them alone. Bravura didn't seem to know she was being watched, and after she fell down (not for the first time) she didn't try to get up. She just pulled her knees to her chin and sat there. He couldn't see her face, but soft clicking reached his audials and he realized she was crying. He made his way with practiced silence to the door and hit the release, making himself visible before she twisted to look. She'd never know he'd seen her.

* * *

Mirage came in shortly after the soldiers left. I got up, pretending I'd just been resting and not on the verge of breaking down. I wiped at my optics even though there were no tears to brush away as I tried to get up. I was distracted, not used to my weakness and my poor balance, and I fell back down before I'd gotten myself a foot off the ground.

My teacher came to me and bent down, offering his hand to me. It was warm as it wrapped around mine and his expression was affectionate. He pulled me up and let me adjust, a process that was becoming easier as I became familiar with my handicap.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Just messing around," I said, as if it weren't important.

"You should be taking it easy," the blue mech chided. "Why don't we go take over the TV in the rec. hall? You can catch up on the movies you missed." He started to tug me towards the door.

Watch a movie with Mirage?

I nodded, and though I was more than happy to do something so normal and familiar and I couldn't help the little snuffle that wended its way through my processors.

He didn't ask any questions, just turned back slowly to face me and wrapped his arms around me deliberately. I leaned against him and wrapped my arms around his waist, absorbing the protection that he represented. He understood, probably because Hot Rod had helped explain how desperate I'd been for home, for the company of the two of them. That actually _being_ home was so close to perfection that I simply couldn't believe it.

The only thing missing was Skywarp.

Mirage sighed when I squeezed a little tighter around his waist, using the hand that had been curved around my upper back to give me a light stroke.

_Everything's going to be fine,_ he sent me. _We've made a mess of taking care of you from the very start, but the mistakes are over. As long as you don't go looking for trouble, that is._

_ I don't go looking… It's like some all-powerful being has control over my life and loves to watch me suffer._

Mirage pulled away from me and leaned down to look me in the optic. _We all feel that way sometimes. You've just got to pull through it. Come on, let's watch some Batman movies.

* * *

_

Hot Rod came to sit with us halfway through the second movie. He sat next to me, so I took his hand, though I still leaned against Mirage. We really had taken over the TV, sprawling across the floor. A human-sized teal mech named Knock Out had joined us, but a few soldiers had pulled their chairs up on the edges to watch too.

"Sucks that Heath Ledger died," I grumbled. "They could've used a better Joker in this one."

"I just don't get how it's so easy for him to upgrade. He gets whatever new equipment he needs as soon as he needs it," Knock Out grumbled. "How is that realistic?"

"He's rich. He owns Wayne Enterprises, and they make all that equipment. He gets first dibs, plus what the government is too cheap to use," a soldier next to the small mech insisted. "It's totally plausible."

"I'm just not buying it!" the little mech groused.

"How about you can it and just watch the movie?" Hot Rod sighed. He was tired and just wanted to unwind. I pulled away from Mirage, who let me go with seeming reluctance, to curl up against my brother. My spark hummed faintly for him in greeting, as his hummed for mine.

_Hey, honey… I know you're not thinking of Mirage as more than a friend… But… you don't look like a youngling the way you did before. If he… sees you differently, how will you deal with it? _

_ Differently how?_

_ As in… if he's attracted to you._

I couldn't help my soft laugh, earning a curious glance from Mirage. _Attracted? Are you kidding? I'm a cripple. _

_You're pretty, Bravura, despite your drawbacks. You don't have the prejudices against Elites that most of us do. You're his friend, and he obviously likes having you around. _

_ Don't be dumb, though, bro… That's just crazy. Anyway… Can we not talk about Mirage when he's sitting right next to us?_

_ Ok, honey._ His arm tightened around me so I snuggled against him, amused at the scraping metallic sounds that resulted. He felt softer than he sounded.

* * *

Meeting Devcon wasn't as awkward as I thought it might be. I saw him coming before he saw me, and when his optics fell on me he went through a wave of happiness and pity before he put on his usual stoic expression.

We hugged silently, the bounty hunter gentler with me than usual. He didn't look different at all, leading me to believe he hadn't bothered to find an Earth alt mode. It didn't surprise me.

"**Hey**," he finally muttered against the top of my head. "**You made me feel like slag, thinking you were dead. I thought it was my fault too. Did you have to give her **_**both**_**beacons?"**

I pulled back slightly to smile at the bigger mech, though he held onto my waist. "**Yeah. Safety precautions. You've gotta admit they were worth it. I'm glad you helped them, Devcon. Thank you.**"

He chuckled and shook his head with a wry smile. "**Eh, it was nothing. Still, never. Ever. Do that again."**

** "I'm grounded," **I informed him. "**I can't do much of anything.**"

"**Perfect,"** he said with a nod. "**Now… We have something to discuss that you failed to mention."**

I stepped back slightly, wondering what he'd discovered. "Uh," I said inanely.

"My point exactly," he said, following me to English. "I found out why you always acted like a youngling. Why you'd never had your lube or coolant topped off. Why you had no idea it was dangerous to just walk right into a busy space station."

"Yeah," I said nervously. "About that…"

"I know the whole story," he cut me off. "You're a human."

"I would've told you!" I said quickly. "It was just, I thought you might-"

"Not help you if I knew you'd been born another species? Frell, Bravura, I would've taken you back to Earth myself if I knew you were just a youngling!"

"I was an adult human when I died, thanks very much," I said indignantly.

"Oh? _Artemis_ is older than you, Bravura!"

My jaw dropped, but the tense atmosphere vanished when Devcon chuckled and hugged me again.

"I don't care about what you were. You're a good kid no matter how squishy you started. Just stay out of trouble, ok?" His voice dropped to a whisper, his expression faintly sad. "You can't get away with what you used to. They really tore you up."

I smiled weakly. "I'm alive, and I'm home. It's better than dead, right?"

He nodded firmly. "Better than dead."

* * *

In case you are wondering, no, there will be no Brav/Devcon. No Brav/anybody except Skywarp, at least in this version. I am seriously tempted, due to my own creepy desires, to do some cracky crap to her, to give some freaky Brav/Dirge a shot in a sort of AU side story, that or Mirage. Or both. Who knows. I've been writing for stress control, and damn it I'll write whatever I darn well please.

Do review, lovelies :)


	26. Chapter 26

Many of you are expressing dislike at her situation and at me, but don't despair, it's not permanent. Things will turn around for the little trouble-magnet/fraglet. Speaking of, I used my first f-bomb in the fic (I think the first, anyway) and guess who has the great pleasure of dropping it? You'll see!

* * *

My first volunteer guard for time outside was Sunstreaker, four days after Ratchet and Jolt decided I should start getting some sun. It was surprising, especially after I'd managed to offend him so quickly. I hadn't seen the yellow mech since, but he didn't mention it when he came to Hot Rod's room to pick me up. My brother was already up and taking care of business, so I had to force myself to get up and running on my own.

Sunstreaker was standing there, a slight and not entirely serious scowl on his face.

"Ready for a little sunshine, fraglet?"

"More than ready," I said with a smile. "How long do we get?"

"Three agonizing hours."

I stepped from my room, a little relieved when the slick yellow mech didn't offer to help me walk. I was confused enough about my relationships with the others, I didn't need Sunny getting too friendly on top of the mix.

We came to the gates of the City without exchanging anything more. Sunstreaker took care of getting us out and we started up the long passageway. The City was either very deep or not directly underneath the mesa, which would explain the ridiculously long passages whenever one tried to get aboveground.

A little more than what felt like halfway I couldn't go any further. The uphill walk and my own poor energy management left me feeling exhausted and I stopped, bending over my knees to try to regain my stamina.

"You ok?" Sunstreaker asked, stopping and turning back when he realized I'd taken a break.

"Just tired. I'm fine."

He crossed his arms. "Do I have to carry you?"

"No! I can do it," I hissed, straightening up. "Just go a little slower. Please."

He nodded with obvious approval, and from there he did slow down quite a bit. I had to stop again a little further on, but then the sunlight from the hidden entrance was filtering down, easing my exhaustion. I actually managed a fairly normal walking speed once we broke through the hologram and came into the open air.

This was the first time I'd had fresh air in my vents and Sol on my exoskin, felt the wind whistle around me… I just stood there, optics offlined and my face tilted upwards, for what must have been a few minutes. Sunstreaker eventually sighed noisily and I snapped out of it, starting up the dirt road for the mesa with the Autobot behind me.

The two of us ended up in companionable silence for an hour. We both stretched out on our backs on the dusty rock and just soaked in the warm sun. I thought about Skywarp.

Well, I'd never really stopped thinking about him. I had a dilemma. I was still upset that he never came back to Tricora… but he must have a reason. Even if I couldn't know or understand why, he'd been doing something important. But… what if he wasn't? Then there was the fact that he'd saved me. He'd gotten his brothers to come to Predaca somehow and he'd saved me. He'd taken me all the way back to Earth.

But he was serving Megatron again. Granted he was the least aggressive of the Seekers now, but he was still helping the Decepticon leader.

Slag it all, I still loved him. Now that I knew I'd been wrong, or at least not entirely right, about being abandoned… I couldn't make myself stop loving him, and I deeply hoped that he still loved me. Even if the war would keep us apart, I wished I could at least know.

We had been outside for the better part of two hours when a familiar sound met my audials. It was a jet, and one I'd come to know intimately. An F-35 Lightning was approaching the mesa.

I sat up, though Sunstreaker didn't move, his arms up and his head pillowed on his hands. I watched the jet get closer, closer, and when Sunstreaker still didn't move I realized the jet probably belonged here. It was splotchy brown, a color I'd seen on someone already. Who?

He came in and landed on the mesa with the easy confidence of a practiced flyer, a confidence I'd once shared. His transformation was quick and smooth, resulting in the typical bird-legged top heavy build of a fully functional flyer. His shoulders were huge and his wings were prominent. After a moments reflection I finally realized I seen this mech in the rec. hall before.

"Hey," he said simply with a smile.

"Hi," I answered.

"Bravura, right? I'm Breakaway."

Breakaway. "Nice alt mode," I said with a smile. "Did it come in brown?" Mine had been flat gray.

"No, I reformatted the prints."

It was strange seeing the alt mode on a mech it actually fit. He looked bulky, though that was a combination of his already large frame and his weaponry. My own bulk in the mode was almost purely extra plating. Not that it mattered. I might never fly again.

"Looks good."

He tilted his head slightly, adding to his avian appearance, then laughed. "Thanks, miss. Hey Sunny, your paint is fading."

"It's Sunstreaker, and shut the fuck up."

I burst out laughing at the icy tone the yellow mech took with Breakaway. I'd definitely been lucky getting on the good side of the fighter.

The F-35 laughed too, completely unabashed. "I'm heading down. See you two later."

Sunstreaker still hadn't moved, but his expression had gone from peaceful to agitated.

"Why don't you like him?"

"I don't like anyone."

"You're nice to me."

He snorted. "That doesn't mean I like you."

"What about Sideswipe?" I still hadn't seen my current guard's twin.

"That goes without saying."

"Why are you nice to me, if you don't like me?"

He onlined his optics and looked over at me. "Because you understood back when I couldn't get anybody else to. Because you've had enough shit in the last few years to last a lifetime. Because you saved that femme and her sparkling. Because you're the Prime's sister. A lot of reasons, ok?"

"Oh."

He stared hard at me, then lowered his head and offlined his optics with a tired sigh. I decided to mimic him and relaxed back down to the rock to make the most of our last hour outside. I came out of my daze again some time later when a car engine came to the mesa from far away. Instead of disappearing into the mesa the car continued up the road to the top of the mesa. I looked up just as the mech, a red one, transformed and stood up.

He was familiar but I couldn't put my finger on it. He stood on wheels like Sunny, and he had the same cocky confidence… The same good looks, too… It had to be Sideswipe.

"Wake up," the red bot said casually to his brother.

"No," Sunny growled.

"Come on, bro, get up. I've got something for you…"

Sunny sighed and forced himself to sit up. "What?"

"An ass-kicking!" The red mech launched at his brother with a whooping battle cry. Sunstreaker scrambled to his wheeled feet just before his brother connected with him. They rolled back together and began the business of becoming one big condiment colored blur. I could make out Sunstreaker's furious protests and Sideswipe's joyful cackle as they rolled across the mesa. I watched in bewildered silence, completely left out, until their thrashings suddenly took a turn and nearly landed on me.

"Whoa!" I yelped, scrambling away.

Sunstreaker immediately flipped his brother away from me, giving me a quick appraisal before standing up, crossing his arms.

"What's wrong, Sunny? Afraid I'd mess up the paintjob?"

"No, we almost hurt the fraglet."

Sideswipe frowned, squinted his optics then looked past Sunny to me. "Oh. I didn't even see her. Nice silencing."

I nodded in acceptance of the praise. Mirage had mentioned my signature, and I'd realized with a start that I'd completely stopped the defensive practice that I'd grown so good at in space. I'd returned to my old habits immediately.

"I'm Bravura," I said quietly.

"Oh, I know. I know a lot about you," said the red mech. "Sunny told me about the interfacing, ah… issues. I still say you two should have interfaced when Hot Rod and I did. Would've been fantastic."

I was stunned. I'd just met this mech and he was talking about how he'd been with my brother? And suggesting that I get with his?

"Shut up, Sides..."

Sideswipe looked from me to his twin. "Come on, you know I'm kidding. You take everything so seriously anymore."

"Try getting saddled with Bluestreak and Tracks for a few vorns and see how you turn out!" Sunny snapped.

Sideswipe physically jerked back as if stricken. When he spoke his voice was pleading. "I wouldn't have left if I had a choice, Sunny… I had to go."

"Doesn't change anything though."

"I thought we'd gotten over this," Sideswipe muttered. "Can't we just pick up where we left off?"

I watched the two stare each other down, Sideswipe's expression penitent while Sunny was accusatory. I had apparently gone invisible.

"I never once tried to replace you when you were gone," Sunstreaker growled after several agonizingly tense moments. "Not _once_."

"Oh. That. I wasn't trying to replace you with _Hot Rod…_" It was interesting to hear that Sideswipe still referred to Hot Rod with his old name, not Rodimus.

"Certainly came off that way! I know how you felt, dumbass!"

"Don't get started on _feelings_, Sunny. Just don't. Why do we have to even fight about this? We're together now!"

Sunstreaker scowled and looked away at me, or through me. "Because things aren't the same."

In that moment I realized that Sunstreaker understood me more than I'd thought. Things weren't the way we wanted them to be, the way we'd imagined. And neither of us was happy about it.

Sideswipe sighed and rolled to his brother smoothly, putting one hand on his brother's shoulder and tilting Sunny's chin up with the other, making Sunny look at him. He leaned close to his yellow twin, a situation that would have made watching uncomfortable under normal circumstances, but I knew what Sides was doing. He was appealing to Sunny's spark with his own.

"The one thing that hasn't changed is that I will always be a part of you," I heard Sideswipe whisper to the still resistant Sunstreaker. "Even if you think you hate me now, I will never leave you. When you're ready to remember that, I'll be here."

With that Sideswipe let his brother go and turned back to the road leading from the mesa, not even acknowledging my existence before he transformed and left.

Sunstreaker stood there, shoulders drooping, for a long time before he looked up and his optics met mine.

"Well… I…" He tried to speak, but apparently couldn't finish. The confidence had drained from him and for once his attitude didn't repel me. I reached towards him and he came to me, sliding gracefully to his knees and dropping his head down against my shoulder. I didn't judge him or his sudden weakness, just let him try to find in me the comfort he could've found in his brother.

I didn't even bother feeling awkward when his arms slipped loosely around me. It wasn't a sexual move at all, more like a child going to his mother than anything. Before long the idea of the mother/son dynamic actually rooted itself somewhere in me and my spark sang softly to him for a time.

"It's pretty," he said abruptly, after he'd been listening to me for a while.

"Thanks," I said softly. "I still don't know how it works, but it apparently comes in handy."

Sunstreaker groaned miserably against my shoulder. "I've been blocking Sides," he abruptly admitted. "I started after I met you. Just got so _sick_ of it, after I saw you suffering… Realized that's what I was like… And now that I have a chance to talk it out… I dunno. I just can't."

"Too proud," I said, reaching up and stroking his gleaming helm.

"Maybe."

"He still cares about you," I said. "I could see it. And you care too. Just give it a chance, Sunstreaker."

"Call me Sunny, he muttered gruffly against me.

I smiled, touched that he'd let me call him something so intimate as a nickname. I supposed I deserved it, after all. He'd nicknamed me 'fraglet' since the start.

* * *

I quickly adjusted to my new schedule. The same few mechs would go with me outside. Hot Rod, Mirage, Sunstreaker, Jolt, sometimes Prowl. Once the big red mech who'd taken me to the repair bay, Inferno, had come, but he'd been silent the entire time. Sideswipe only appeared on the mesa if Sunstreaker was on duty there. They didn't fight again. I was grateful for the constant companionship, but one bot was conspicuously absent.

Once, when Mirage and I were sitting on the mesa, I asked him about the Autobot Arcee.

"Why haven't I seen her? It's not that big of a base."

Mirage was quiet for some time while he thought about it. We were lying down in opposite directions with our heads side by side, his helm just resting on my shoulder. If I turned my head my optics would be level with his upside down chin.

"I think she's avoiding you. Now, not in a bad way… She's just having a tough time, as far as I know. She's like you, her spark's not fertile, but it was once. She was with Springer from what I gather, but she's been avoiding him when he comes to see Rodimus. She just needs time."

"Huh. You'd think she'd wanna… I don't know, make friends with somebody who knows what it's like."

"I can't speak for her, little lady. I'm just glad you're not pulling the same thing on me."

I did turn my head at that, and he angled his slightly to look at me.

"What do you mean?"

"Just… after all the horrible things you went through, you didn't shut down, or run away from the ones who care about you."

I frowned as I considered that, then smiled brightly. "Never even occurred to me, Raj. I missed you almost the minute I left Earth. I'd never avoid you."

He started to turn his head slightly, tilting it in a way that gave me a bit of alarm as his lips came closer to mine, but then our comms crackled sharply.

_Mirage, you've been up there four hours. Time to bring her back in,_ Ratchet's voice groused.

Once upon a time we hadn't been able to make communications from underground, relying on more primitive human methods, but Blaster had come by and rectified the problem with an above ground transmitter and receiver.

Mirage jerked his head away and stared up at the sky. I was still frozen, stunned by what almost happened, but I responded when he got up and gave me a nudge.

Was Hot Rod right? Did I have something to worry about?

Out of nervousness I cast about for something to make it clear to Mirage that I didn't want the attention without calling him out.

"Uh… Have you heard anything about Skywarp? Any chance I could… talk to him?"

Mirage's easy posture stiffened. "Why would you want to talk to him?"

"I love him, Mirage."

He looked at me, his expression so carefully blank that I actually had to look away.

"Will you never learn, Bravura?" He asked softly. I dragged my optics back up to his. He looked wistful now, an expression that suited his Aristocratic features. "You can't trust them. You can't trust him. You _can_ trust us. You can trust me."

I reached up to rub the back of my helm. Slag it all, I didn't want things to get muddied up like this!

"I do, Mirage. You're my best _friend._" I emphasized the word heavily.

_Mirage, respond. Get Bravura down here or I'll get _you_ down here._

_We're on our way, Ratchet,_ he sent back, his tone subdued.

"Come on." He held out his hand to me, and I took it for a moment, looking up at the Elite, then let it go and walked ahead of him down the mesa.

* * *

"You were right," I whispered against Hot Rod's chest. I was wedged between him and the wall, our sleeping arrangement having slowly working itself out as the days and nights passed.

"Course I was right. What about?" He was already practically half recharging, rubbing my shoulder in slow circles while I fiddled with one of the lights on his chest. I was aware that to anyone else we'd look like lovers, but to both of us we were just soaking up the comfort of being near to one another.

"Mirage. He almost kissed me today. He didn't, but I swear he was about to."

"Ah… that was why you were so embarrassed earlier." I looked up at the cocky grin on his face and reached up to punch his chin ever so lightly.

"Not funny, bro. It's Mirage… I don't know how to nip it in the bud without making things awkward between us. You know? I don't want to stop being his friend."

"You'll just have to quit being so cute and helpless," Hot Rod poked playfully.

"Ha, ha." I grumbled, resting my chin on his chest. "That doesn't help."

"What do you want me to do, baby? Tell him to leave you alone? You know how that will go."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I just wish things could be the same. When I was too small for him to see anything in."

"He always saw something in you, Bravura. It's just that now Skywarp's more or less out of the picture… You spend most of his free time together, honey."

I groaned and squirmed up until I could rest my head on Hot Rod's shoulder. "You're right… this is my fault."

"I wouldn't go that far," Hot Rod said comfortingly. "It's just that you were gone for so long, we all kind of got our own ideas of you in our processors. Mirage has got the idea that you've seen Skywarp's 'true colors' and now you'll need someone to pick up the pieces."

"I'm not broken," I said sharply.

"Don't be so sensitive honey, you know what I meant."

I sighed, trying to calm myself down. "Yeah, I know."

* * *

Skywarp listened with barely concealed panic as Megatron detailed the latest plan to Starscream. They'd known where Autobot City was for years, but they'd never made a direct attack on the city before. The single entrance was too well guarded, and built to make an attack difficult.

But Ravage had detected signatures within the mesa on multiples occasions, meaning the rock was thin enough to break through, and it would give them easy access to the compound. That was just what Megatron wanted to do. The Autobots were hiding something in that miserable hidey-hole of a city, and Megatron wanted to know what.

Skywarp exchanged a look with Thundercracker. If they broke into the city they would find the femmes and Bravura.

_We protect the femmes,_ Skywarp sent on the trine line they exclusively shared. _We won't allow them to be harmed._

_Agreed,_ Thundercracker said calmly.

_You're both idiots,_ Starscream snapped. _They'll want the femmes alive._

_ They don't know there are femmes down there. They don't know what they're after, _Thundercracker pointed out. _They could get caught in the crossfire._

_ So why don't we tell them? _Starscream asked.

_If we're lucky Megatron will get distracted by some energy raid and cancel the attack. _Thundercracker didn't sound very hopeful.

_ We could warn the Autobots,_ Skywarp offered.

Both his brothers looked at him sharply. Megatron cut himself off, looking between the two Seekers and Skywarp.

"**What**?" He asked sharply.

"**Skywarp's a moron**," Starscream mumbled dismissively.

Megatron growled. "**Stop gossiping amongst yourselves and **_**pay attention**_**, you fools. The vacation is over**."

"**Yes, Lord Megatron,**" The three Seekers intoned.

_No matter what happens,_ Skywarp said firmly, _we don't let the others hurt the femmes._

_ Right._

_Ugh… fine.

* * *

_

"Hey, Bravura!"

I looked up to see Breakaway coming into the training room. I gave up my walking kata and straightened to meet him. My balance was returning and my twitches were less and less severe. My shivering was still more or less constant and my optic still wasn't any better, but Ratchet said my progress was promising.

"What's up, Breaker?"

"I have a present for you," he said with a grin. "Don't tell Ratchet, but Jolt thinks you can handle an alt mode. A _real_ alt mode."

I crossed my arms. "I don't want a car. I'd rather go without."

"Oh, I understand, believe me. That's why I went looking for a plane that would fit your specs."

I froze, then let my hands drop limp to my sides. "You found a jet to fit me?"

"Well… not a jet. A plane the humans use to _train_ for jets. But it's your size and it's not a bad plane at all."

"What kind of plane?" I asked suspiciously.

"It's called a T-37."

"Never heard of it."

"It flies. You want it or not?"

It was easy to be jealous Breakaway's incredible alt-mode, but I finally gave in and nodded. The big mech grinned and held out his wrist. I held mine up, expecting the flyer to just plug in, send the file and nothing more. He had to be aware of the trust involved.

I accepted the file as he streamed it, and within moments it was finished. I saw the title and winced. "It's called a Tweet, Breaker."

"Yeah, because it's so little. Like a bird. Tweet!"

I groaned. "Don't tell the others… I'll never hear the end of it."

"Well… no promises. Come on, put it on. If you can't manage it I'll just run you to the repair bay and pretend you had a short out."

After a moment I took a look around to be sure nobody was watching. The human soldiers weren't paying any attention and there were no others Cybertronians in the training room. Before I could let my logic processor talk me out of it I took a deep intake and started creating the alt mode.

I came to my senses in Breakaway's arms. He was just lifting me from the floor and I could hear some of the humans asking what happened.

"Hey, put me down, I'm ok," I said weakly. My energon level had been seriously depleted, enough that I would need to either get outside or get some energon quick. "I just need a cube," I told the bigger mech.

"I don't know," he said doubtfully. "You just collapsed."

"I'm ok," I repeated. "How do I look? What color?"

"White, mostly," the bigger mech said, holding onto my arm while I tried to look at myself. "Dark blue here and there. Your wings are down your back."

I sighed, relieved. "It worked, then…"

"Yep. Let's just see how long you keep those wings, though. When Ratchet hears he'll be out for blood, huh?" Breakaway laughed despite the fact that he'd be under the chopping block as much as I would for supplying the blueprints… not that I'd give him away. Still, Ratchet had ways of getting the information he wanted that would've put James Bond to shame. Especially when it meant he got to hit somebody.

He found out faster than I could've expected. Breakaway and I had been sitting in the rec. hall for maybe twenty minutes when Ratchet appeared in the doorway. Breakaway noticed him first, but I was too preoccupied with finishing my second cube of energon to catch the imposing figure approaching us.

Breakaway got the brunt of the punishment. Ratchet smacked the much larger mech up the head several times, snarling about protocol and direct disobedience and "Prime will hear about this!" before turning an icy glare on me

"What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?" He asked, hands on his hips.

I stared down at my lap, feeling very childish. "Um… I'm alive, aren't I?"

"And what if you'd gone into energon shock? I wasn't there to help and Jolt isn't even on base! Do you know what could've happened if you-"

My metal chair scraped as I stood up. Thank Primus, I didn't get dizzy. I managed to hold Ratchet's glare. "I trained at Tricora for coming up on a year, Ratchet. I trained with you at the very start. I _know_ how quickly a bot can die of energon shock. I _know_ my own limits, too. And finally, I _know_ that no matter how much you talk about 'your roof, your rules' that if I am truly unhappy Optimus would remember that I am _not_ a soldier and at least let me have the _alt mode _for consolation!"

"You won't stop at the alt mode! I gave you your upgrade myself, and within the day you were flying half the time you were awake! You won't stop with just the alt mode," he repeated emphatically.

The soldiers in the rec. hall had gone silent long ago. A few left, others watched nervously, some with amusement.

"Look at me!" Ratchet snapped. I looked up from the rec. hall, half expecting to see a wrench about to bounce off of my helm.

"I'm looking," I said weakly. He was _mad._ My resolve weakened. "Ratchet," I mumbled, aware that my voice was shaking, "I just want to be normal again." I looked down before my face gave away how upset I was. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done it, but I'm just ready to try to be me again."

"You behaved irresponsibly. Maybe Devcon let you get away with everything under the sun, but now that you're back things have got to change, Bravura." Ratchet's tone softened. "We are doing our best to keep you safe and happy, but we can't keep up with your old ways now. Your world's safety is hinging on us keeping things under control and we simply can't be worrying about one femme!"

"I'm sorry," I whispered, hugging myself. "I'm sorry, Ratchet."

He sighed and in my peripheral I saw him raise him arm to run a scan on me, then motion to Breakaway.

"Take her outside for a bit. After she's had about an hour of sun get her in the air. Monitor her carefully. No more than thirty minutes. You hear me, Bravura? Thirty minutes."

I looked up at the medical officer in shock. "You…"

"Don't make me regret going easy on you," he sighed, turning away and heading for the door.

* * *

"I don't know about this," I said nervously to Breakaway. "I haven't done this in a while… And never with this kind of alt mode… And…"

"Come on, I know you're not as shy as your wings say you are. Just don't think. Look up at the sky, Bravura." He looked up, and I did too. Blue. Endless blue.

"It's calling to you," he said quietly. "Your name. Mine. Every bot who's ever flown and ever will. It's in your spark."

"Yeah," I said quietly.

"The gift of flight is a legacy that's been handed down since our kind began. It's become rare as the ages passed, but the sky will always be a part of you and me. Listen to the wind."

The wind wasn't strong today, but it curled around me all the same. I listened, let it whisper wordlessly to me until it lured me to the edge of the mesa. Before I had time to second-guess myself I leapt off the mesa and transformed.

The moment of flight was both euphoric and disappointing. Sure, I was flying, but the Tweet just couldn't accelerate like a tetrajet or the Lightning. Still, I was FLYING!

_Yeah!_ I whooped on the Autobot frequency. _I'm back, boys!_

I was instantly bombarded with queries and congratulations from the Autobots in range and a snide remark from Sunstreaker.

_How exactly are you back?_ Devcon asked on our shared comm. It was nice to see he still remembered.

_I'm flying! Ratchet let me keep my alt mode!_

_ Oh, hey. Great, kid. You're not flying alone, are you?_

Breakaway already was high above me, more or less doing circles around me as I made a wide loop around the mesa.

_Nope, I've got an escort. Things are under control._

_Why is it that when you say that I get nervous?_

_ Come on, pops, we're in Autobot territory. The worst that could happen is I crash. Ooo._

_ Yeah… right.

* * *

_

Starscream watched with a mixture of relief and uneasiness as Ravage played back the video of the small plane and F-35 coming down to the Autobot mesa and landing. Soundwave's spy had been keeping surveillance from a distance, but the sudden and unexplained appearance of a strange plane had forced the small cat-bot to move in for a closer examination.

The video feed revealed that the new small plane was in fact a femme. There was no mistaking it. The Aerial Commander cursed to himself as he watched his brother's lover bend over with her hands on her knees, apparently tired out by the short flight. The video froze, focused in on her.

Megatron, unlike Starscream, was delighted.

"**I see… not only are they guarding the Allspark, but a femme as well. A flyer… Good breeding stock, wouldn't you say, Starscream**?"

"**No**," Starscream grumbled. "**It's malfunctioning. Ravage, return to the moment after she lands. Watch her closely, my Lord**."

They reviewed the video again, and this time Megatron saw the shaking, the twitch in her neck.

"**An imperfection possibly produced by hardship during the war**," Soundwave said blandly. "**The femme is likely a genetically valuable specimen**."

"**There's only one way to find out**," Megatron said thoughtfully.

Starscream scowled but didn't say anything, just opened his trine's comm.

_They know about Bravura. Ravage saw her flying over their mesa._

_ She was flying?_ Skywarp said vapidly. The idiot mech was so obsessed with his femme that he didn't see the implications. Thundercracker did, however.

_Things are going to move quick now,_ the biggest member of the trine sent thoughtfully. _How are you going to get us in there? Megatron knows we're more useful covering them from the air._

_ I'm going to send Dirge in,_ Starscream said firmly.

_WHAT? No. You can't, Starscream. He wants her! _Skywarp's deep voice grated on Starscream's processors. He much preferred Thundercracker's John Wayne style of English to whatever Skywarp had picked up.

_He's subordinate to us, so he'd be more likely to be put under fire than any of us. His ability makes him a prime candidate for creating chaos and confusion when we break in. He can find her in the base just by feeling her out. He's scared of us, and if he's so enamored with your abominable little scrap heap he'll find her before anyone else does._

There was silence on the comm. until Thundercracker quietly agreed with Starscream.

_Send me in, Starscream,_ Skywarp insisted.

_No._

_I said send me in! Who else will protect her?_

_If I send you in you'll get even more stupid than you already are. You'll expose yourself and your femme. I'm protecting you both, you moron._

_ Thundercracker, tell him he's wrong!_

The blue-detailed Raptor was silent for a long time, to the point where Starscream thought he wasn't going to get himself involved anymore. Finally, his brother sighed.

_I think Starscream's right, Skywarp. You're too involved with this. If anybody sees you trying to help her they'll have you for treason._

_ But Dirge? Why not Barricade? Frenzy would make him help._

_ Barricade's going to stay in DC unless we're short-handed. The Allspark is a priority too, Skywarp, whether you care about it or not, _Starscream snapped. He was getting tired of all of this whining _very_ quickly.

Skywarp made a deep, frustrated snarl before cutting out on the comm.

_Think she'll make it?_ Thundercracker asked Starscream.

_She survived long enough to get herself trapped on Predaca._

_ She's hurt now, though._

_ I don't care, Thundercracker. I've been putting up with Skywarp's obsession for too long already. _Don't_ make me pretend to give a slag with you too._

The biggest of the Command Trine withdrew from the link too, leaving Starscream alone with Megatron, Soundwave and Ravage once again.

* * *

"Bravura?"

I was sitting behind the couch in front of the biggest TV watching American Gladiators with a few human soldiers when Curia came up to us.

"Yeah, what's up?" I said, tearing my optics away from the woman trying to scale a wall covered in yarn while the other team shot her with paintballs. Curia was standing there with Devcon, Artemis in her arms.

"Devcon and I were thinking about going out, spending some time together today." I felt my head tilt sideways in surprise. Devcon and Curia were going to spend time together. My curiosity was followed by a sly grin. Ohhh. "Would you mind watching Curia until we get back? She likes you so much better than Forcia."

My grin widened. Curia knew I had issues with Forcia, and she was playing on that. Not that she needed to, I liked Artemis. The little girl wasn't very talkative, but she was expressive and sweet.

"I'd love to, Curia. Are you going now?"

The two grown bots nodded. Devcon had the tiniest smile at the corners of his mouth, so I knew he was happy. Good for him.

"If that's alright with you. Are you busy?"

"Nah, just watching the tube with the boys." I stood up and held my hands up for Artemis, who looked like she'd just gotten up from a nap. She leaned towards me, waving her arms and giggling, until Curia gave her to me. The sparkling immediately scrambled up my chest to drape her arms around my neck and kiss me on the cheek.

"Aww," someone said behind me. I turned to find Mirage standing there, smiling.

"Admit it, you wish she liked you this much," I said playfully.

"She's just too young to have any taste. Don't worry, she'll come to her senses."

"Are you off, Mirage?" Devcon asked.

Mirage looked at the other dark blue Autobot, still more or less a stranger to the Autobots of the City, then nodded. "Yes."

"Oh! Maybe you could help Bravura with Artemis? You know how wild she gets after her naps." Curia exchanged a look with Devcon, and he gave her the slightest nod. What was that supposed to mean?

"I think Bravura can handle her," Mirage began, then looked down at me. "But I'd be happy to spend some time with the girls, just for fun."

"Wonderful," Curia said with maybe a little too much pleasure. "You three have fun."

"You too, Curia. If you see any Cons shoot 'em a few times for me, Devcon."

"Will do, kid." He nodded to us and put a hand at the small of Curia's back, leading her to the door of the rec. hall.

Artemis had been looking at Mirage, but when she realized her mother was leaving she gave a little whimper. She tried to scramble from my arms, but I managed to hang onto her. Her anxiety increased until she was outright wailing, though she still wasn't speaking.

She was old enough to, apparently. Not a lot of words, but Ratchet said most sparklings could say at least the names of their creators by now. Artemis was just shy… But not about her crying.

"Oh, hush, shh… It's ok, Missy, Auntie Bravura and Uncle Mirage are staying with you." I tried to bounce her gently, but it only made her crying stilted. "She'll come back later, honey, don't worry! Don't you want to play?" I looked up at Mirage helplessly. _Help me!_ I mouthed.

He smiled at some private joke, then put his hand on my back much the same way Devcon had Curia's. He led me to a corner of the rec. hall and sat down, patting the ground next to him. I sank down, still trying to shush the bawling little bot in my arms when he pulled a hologram generator from his chest and set it on the ground.

It flickered, then jumped into the air before disappearing inside a hologram. A bluish silver creature stood there and I gasped. A turbofox.

The turbofox looked up at me and came up to me bravely with none of the shy cautiousness that the turbofox Mercury had exhibited. I looked to Mirage, who was already watching me.

"It's a turbofox," he said. "I used to hunt them, before the war. They weren't endangered, then… For all I know, they could be extinct now."

"They're not," I said, reaching down to touch the hologram. It rubbed against my hand like a cat, and I was suddenly struck with the thought that Mirage was controlling it. He was the turbofox. I withdrew my hand quickly and eased the crying Artemis to the floor. At first she didn't see the Mirage fox, but he came in close and poked his nose against hers.

Her optics focused and she gasped, almost falling back. I caught her and withdrew quickly, not wanting to ruin the moment.

Mirage the fox sat down and tilted his shiny head, waiting for Artemis to make the next move. She clicked through a few more sobs, then leaned forward, grabbing at Mirage's fox face. He let her, supporting her weight as she examined him. She poked his optics, his audials, lifted his delicate sled-runner feet, in awe of the pretty creature.

I looked at Mirage. He was still watching me, though his fox form was totally focused on Artemis.

"Is it hard to do that?" I asked.

"Do what?"

"Split your attention like that."

"No. Comes pretty naturally." He was watching me so intensely, I was beginning to feel self-conscious. I looked away, back to the fox and sparkling on the floor.

"Is she still really a sparkling?" I asked Mirage to hide how awkward I felt.

He finally looked down at her. "She's getting to where she could be considered a youngling, but she hasn't had the actual youngling upgrade yet. She's behind, but she'll catch up."

Artemis suddenly laughed excitedly when Mirage the fox shook his head quickly. He leaned forward and licked her face, earning a joyful shriek. Some humans who were watching laughed with her.

"You're good with her," I said after they played for a bit.

"I'm surprised myself," the Elite admitted. "I never was any good with sparklings."

"The turbofox was a good idea. Girls love animals."

"Thanks," he said quietly. He didn't sound as happy as the turbofox was acting.

Looking up at him, I saw that he was watching his hologram and Artemis with a sad sort of expression.

Reaching out to touch his hand where it rested on his thigh, I curled my fingers around his palm. _Hey._

He looked at my hand then twisted his hand over to twine his fingers through mine. _Hi._

_ What's wrong?_

_ Nothing. Just thinking._

_What about?_

He looked up at me with a serious air that totally clashed with the turbofox gamboling around the giggling sparkling.

_Curia's lucky to have a family,_ he finally said. _It's not something most of us were able to keep. You're lucky too, you have Rodimus._

The sadness in his tone made me lean towards him, letting my shoulder rest against his arm. _I'm pretty lucky to have him. But I did ok picking my friends, too._

He smiled faintly and nodded. I smiled back then looked down to watch him play with Artemis.

* * *

As usual, review lovelies! Even if it's just to yell at me :3


	27. Chapter 27

I'm surprised I got this chapter out... I've been writing an AU side story where Brav gets with Mirage instead of Skywarp, but I haven't made up my mind on that one either. The main story will continue to be warp/brav, so don't freak. I might not even publish mirage/brav unless i get it all sorted out and/or enough people seem interested.

I've pimped Ayngel's stories before, but if you haven't read Forbidden Fantasies you should go do it now, and then read and review the side story Thunder and the Sun. It's goddamn excellent.

* * *

I was in a dead recharge when I woke up with the most horrible feeling that something bad was about to happen. My brother didn't wake up at my slight jerk, his arm loose around me.

"Hot Rod, wake up."

His systems buzzed, then died down again.

"Hot Rod. Wake up!"

His optics flickered then he groaned. "What's wrong?"

"I have a bad feeling. A really bad feeling."

My whole body felt itchy, my exoskin was crawling and I desperately wanted to get out of the City.

"What? Was your processor running old memories or something? I get that too sometimes, never remember what-"

"It's not like that, bro. I… I can't explain it. Can't you feel it?" I shuddered.

"No… I mean, I feel you freaking out, but aside from that, nada. Let's just go back to sleep, it's probably nothing."

He tilted his head back and offlined his optics, but my trepidation didn't get any better. Something was coming.

"I'm going to go watch some TV," I told my brother. "I'll come back when I'm calmed down."

"You want me to come with?" He asked without onlining his optics.

"No, don't worry about it."

He grunted assent, so I climbed over him and carefully set my twitching feet on the ground. It wasn't so bad, the shivering. I'd grown used to it, and I only messed up when I got really distracted.

The halls were mostly empty, the occasional soldier on duty passing by me without comment. The rec. hall was empty, so I shoved the couch aside and turned on the TV to watch the news.

* * *

"Get up, big girl. Come on now, you can't be sleeping out here." I woke up suddenly, feeling a tiny knock on my helm. Two humans were crouching over my head.

"Carl Dicer?" I blurted.

"That's right. Have we met?"

"Not really." He didn't really know who I was. And he never would. He'd been my godfather in another life. Well, Camilla Phillips' godfather. Not mine anymore. The other man was unfamiliar. I checked my internal clock. It was four am. Hot Rod would be getting up for work in a couple of hours. "Was I in the way?"

Dicer shook his head. "This isn't a barracks. Put the couch back, would you, big girl?"

"Sure. Sorry," I grumbled, dragging the couch back in front of the TV. I waved to the man who would've been my substitute father in another life before going back to Hot Rod's room.

Hot Rod woke up as I slid back over him to my accustomed place against the wall.

"You were gone a long time," he said softly, pulling me up to put an arm around me.

"I ended up recharging down there. Carl Dicer woke me up."

"Oh, he's here? How did that go?"

"Just fine. He told me to put the couch back."

Hot Rod said something incoherent and his optics dimmed. He needed his recharge, and I felt a little guilty for stealing even a few moments. His new status made him incredibly busy. Sighing heavily I snuggled against my already unconscious brother and tried to recharge, though my exoskin still crawled.

* * *

I was watching Artemis on my own the next day, just the two of us on the upper deck, when the human from the night before, the stranger with Dicer, came up from the long stairs. I didn't pay him much mind at first. Artemis and I were watching The Little Mermaid with the Netflix account the Autobots used, with me streaming it to her through our contact. She was engrossed in the story, but I was able to turn my attention to the human when he came up to us and stopped, eyes on Artemis.

"Yes?" I asked quietly.

"Hello."

"Hello, ah…"

He smiled. "Lieutenant Brever."

"I'm Neutral Bravura. This is Artemis. She's watching a movie, pardon the blank look."

"I understand. She's yours?"

The idea was cute, but I was deeply grateful that I didn't have a sparkling to care for all of the time. "No, I'm just babysitting while her mother goes out."

"So… her mother lives here?"

"Yes…" I really looked at the human. He wasn't familiar, and I'd gotten to know the soldiers by face at the least. "I don't recognize you. Are you new?"

"Yes, freshly stationed. Takes some getting used to."

"I imagine," I said, knowing all to well that feeling. "Staying long?"

"We'll see," he said dismissively. "I go where they tell me to go."

"Not enough brass to say no?" I asked. I hadn't learned any more about army ranking, and I still didn't care to.

"Not nearly enough," he said with a laugh.

He stayed a little longer, some small talk, then left. I liked him. He seemed nice.

* * *

It'd been four or five days since I got the Tweet when a few of Ultra Magnus's mechs, as well as Bumblebee and Sam, came to visit the City. Tracks, Bluestreak, Blaster and Kup showed up about midday with Sam and Bumblebee, who seemed to have updated his Camaro. Tracks looked as flashy as ever, while Bluestreak's alt mode, while not a cop car, made him resemble Prowl in an almost creepy way. Kup, who was wearing a camo paint job yet again, didn't stick around, just nodded to me and went off into the City. Blaster was unchanged.

"I just can't find an alt mode here that does what I need it to and still moves," he explained when I asked.

"Your alt mode fits now!" Bluestreak said as he gave me a friendly hug. "Looks great! How have you been? I heard things were pretty rough after you left us. But you're back home now, right? Nothing to worry about now!"

I nodded, smiling, then turned to Tracks. He looked somewhat smug as he moved in for a hug.

_I was right, wasn't I? Devcon couldn't take care of you._

_It wasn't Devcon's fault,_ I said carefully.

"Hey Bee," I said, turning to the yellow mech standing somewhat behind them

"Hello, Bravura." He seemed embarrassed. Sam was perched on his shoulder, arms crossed.

"Nice paintjob. Still a Camaro?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, ignore me. I'm just here to make Bee look pretty."

"Hi Sam," I laughed. "You look good. Not nearly as squashed as I would've expected living with giant robots all this time."

"Being the Allspark has its advantages."

Recalling Bumblebee's almost romantic interest in Sam, I wondered just how far those advantages went…

"You guys want a cube? You've been driving a while," I said quickly, before I could start speculating on things I shouldn't

"Actually… We brought some of our own. A special formula," Bluestreak said quietly, then dropped his voice to a flat whisper. "High grade. Don't tell anybody. We're going to have a party with some of the other mechs tonight. You are definitely required to come," the mech said with a grin.

"Just give me a buzz and I'll be there," I said, my smile matching Blue's. He was infectious.

When I looked up to the other mechs, I saw they were exchanging grim expressions. Bee caught my optic and immediately smiled.

"What's that you're wearing?" he asked innocently.

"Um… a T-37." Blaster immediately burst out laughing and I groaned. "Don't tell," I begged the mech. "Please!"

"What's so funny?" Bluestreak asked.

"Her alt mode's other name," Blaster said with a smile. "It's cute."

"Yeah, but not that cute. Please!" I said, putting my hands together as if to pray. "I'm begging you…"

"Now I _really_ want to know," Tracks interjected snootily. "What's it called, Blaster?"

"I don't know, the Prime might come after me if I embarrass his sister," Blaster said teasingly.

"It'll be our little secret," Bluestreak said playfully. "Just the six of us."

"Ugh, if you five find out _everyone_ will know," I grumbled.

"It's not that bad, Tweety," Blaster said sweetly. It got a growl out of me, but he only laughed again.

"Fine," I grumbled. "I'm going to go… do… something. Something important."

They all laughed good-naturedly at that, but Bluestreak insisted on coming with me. He was pleased to discover my idea of 'something important' was to go to the upper deck and play video games, so we teamed up on a first-person shooter. Even in the game the gunner was light years better than me. Needless to say, we won because of him, and when we rarely lost it was because of me.

* * *

Blaster gave me the heads up about 9 o'clock, using the guise of giving me a playful high five to tell me to meet them on the upper deck in an hour.

They were already drinking, though not intoxicated, when I got there. The vast majority of the City's mech occupants were present, excluding the apparently 'stuffy' types who'd never allow the fun. I was a little surprised that Hot Rod wasn't there. Hadn't they invited him? Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were up there though, and Sideswipe approached me immediately.

"Sunny's been feeling the itch lately," he informed me casually. "I don't think he'd object to letting you scratch it."

"Uh…" I said, dumbfounded. He just grinned and walked away, but then Mirage was there, offering me a purplish blue cube and putting an arm around me. I could tell by his smile that he was already feeling a faint buzz. Most of them were.

I sipped the cube and had to flinch away from it. It was _strong_, stronger than the stuff I'd gone off the deep end with Devcon on.

"You'll get used to it," Bumblebee assured me from one of the benches where he sat with Gears and Tracks. Bluestreak, Blaster, Sunny, Sides, Breakaway, Devcon, Curia, Knock Out, Gears, Ironhide and Jolt were all hanging around either standing and talking or sitting. Ironhide especially surprised me, since he usually stayed with Lennox's family. They all had a cube, and large pile waited on one of the benches to be consumed.

_Where's Hot Rod?_ I asked my teacher as he led me over to the glass wall.

_They invited him, but I guess he was too tired. It's probably best, considering his position._

_I feel sorry for him,_ I said quietly.

_It's his lot,_ Mirage told me sympathetically. _We all have paths we have to take. _

I snorted out loud and looked up at the Elite, who was looking out the window. _I wouldn't take my path twice._

He smiled. _Neither would I._

"Hey lovebirds, come over here and socialize," Curia called from her little group. Devcon was holding her by the waist, and they were talking to Bluestreak and Knock Out.

"We're not lovebirds!" I corrected, pulling from Mirage's protective arm and taking him by the hand to lead him to the gathering.

"Sure looks that way," Devcon said, eying my hand in Mirage's thoughtfully.

"Nobody asked you, pops," I said, sipping from my cube.

"You two know each other right?" Knock Out asked, gesturing between Devcon and me. "What's the story there?"

Devcon grinned. "Well, it all started when I found Bravura here stumbling around in a scanty alt mode in a crowded space port on the edge of emergency shut down." He ignored my protest that I was _not_ about to shut down and continued, "She tried to get a cube from a bar without any currency, so I helped her out. Wasn't planning on keeping the kid around, but she insisted. She didn't have a clue, though, so that helped my decision. Somebody had to keep her from getting herself killed of kidnapped."

"How long did you two travel?" Mirage asked.

"A little less than a stellar cycle," Devcon said. "She learned quick, developed a fighting style. Still couldn't hold up to a serious fighter, I'd say, but she was better than your average neutral."

Mirage felt my grip tighten and seemed to instinctively know what had bothered me. _You'll get there again,_ he said reassuringly. _Just give it time._ I nodded and listened while Devcon told them about the time I nearly got my leg cut of by a lowly grunt Decepticon.

After a couple of stories between the bots and about a half a cube of the overly strong energon I was feeling pretty damn good. I caught Sideswipe looking at me at one point, but he inclined his head to his brother, who was either listening to Bluestreak or zoning out. I eyed the yellow Lamborghini, looked back at his brother and made a face. He grinned and beckoned for me to come over, so I withdrew from Mirage, who was once again holding me, and told the little group I'd be right back. They watched until they realized whom I was approaching, and Breakaway wolf whistled.

"How can I help you?" I said with an easy smile. I was usually uncomfortable around Sideswipe, knowing he'd slept with my brother on a regular basis, but the energon was helping with that.

"It's not me who needs the help," the red twin said quietly, his smile a little sneaky. "Sunny could use a… pick me up."

"I don't think I'm the right bot for that mission," I said, sizing up Sunny, who had to hear us talking about him, he was sitting so close.

"You think he's attractive, don't you?" Sideswipe asked innocently.

"Sure, but he's also the only mech I know who has nicknamed me with a curse word,"

"That's just Sunny being Sunny. He puts up with you because he wants to, not because he has to, you know."

"Yeah, and it's great that he does, but this whole… itch scratching business. No."

Sunstreaker finally looked over at us. His cube was still pretty full, so he probably wasn't very intoxicated. Not like I was getting. "Stop it, Sides."

"You know you want her," Sideswipe said so flippantly that I cringed.

"And _you_ know I'd never bother her with that kind of stupidity," he shot back.

"And that's why we get along," I said quickly, interrupting what looked to be the makings of an argument. "While we're both clearly smokin' hot bots, we respect each other too much to get down to that nitty gritty business you're so fond of," I told Sideswipe.

Sunstreaker snorted and Sideswipe laughed, so I left them to go back to Mirage and the others when Blaster stopped me long enough to top off my cube.

"There you go, tweetheart," he said playfully.

"Shut up!" I yelped, going to punch him in the shoulder while fumbling with my now full cube.

"Isn't that tweet," he chuckled. "She's bashful."

"Stop it, Blaster!" I grumbled.

He grinned and let me go without molesting me further.

_What was that about?_ Mirage asked when I returned to him.

_Blaster was making fun of the Tweet,_ I sent glumly.

_No, with Sideswipe._

_ Nothing, he was just joking around._

Mirage didn't seem satisfied, but he let it go.

Maybe around midnight, when I went back to Sunny and started talking to him in an overly friendly manner, Mirage declared me too overenergized to mingle any longer. I was still fairly certain I was perfectly capable of hanging out a little longer. I'd only had about a cube and a half… or was it two and a half? Anyway, Mirage tried leading me down the stairs but quickly decided my already unsure footing combined with copious amounts of high-grade was a very bad combination and carried me instead.

We were passing through the mech's quarters, headed towards the room I shared with Hot Rod, when Mirage stopped. I was singing an old Backstreet Boys song.

"Backstreet's back. Aiiight! Dun, dunun naow!"

"I don't know if Hot Rod will appreciate you ruining his recharge right now," Mirage said under my terrible singing.

"Now THROW your hands up tha aiiir!" I yodeled, doing just that. "Wave 'em around like you just don't caaaare!"

"I think you'd best stick with me until you're a little more yourself," he said.

"Sure," I said, interrupting my song. "But hey, we're not playin' tiddlywinks," I said with a giggle. "I already made _that_ mistake!"

"Sounds fine by me," the Elite said, unaware of what I was talking about. I'd been trying to play tiddlywinks just moments before I jumped Devcon's bones.

"Er, not bones," I corrected my thoughts out loud.

"Of course not," Mirage agreed soothingly.

In a few minutes we were in Mirage's quarters and the lights were low. He sat on his berth with me in his lap. He seemed to like sitting with me like that.

"Why here?" I asked. "Why not the rec. hall or something?"

"I don't want Prowl or Red Alert to see you. They'll catch everyone else."

"I bet you Red Alert already knows and is just letting you guys have your fun," I said. The security mech was intense about his job and as far as I knew never recharged. He was just that good.

"Still, it's a bad idea tempting fate."

"Tempting fate some other way?" I asked, poking his glossy chest. "We're alone in your room," I purred.

"Yes, but just to keep out of trouble."

"What if you're trouble?" I asked, sliding so that I straddled the dark blue mech. "What if…."

"What if what?" he asked uncomfortably.

"What… what is it with blue mechs?" I said suddenly. "And energon? Holy cow, wouldn't that be funny…"

Mirage looked irritated at that, but didn't respond.

"Anyway… yeah. Sorry. Real sorry." I crawled off of Mirage and sat next to him, sighing with a fresh sobriety. My processor was still spinning, but the most present danger had been averted. I was _not_ going to make out with Mirage. It'd take at least another cube for me to go that far off the deep end. Even if he was gorgeous.

"You think I'm gorgeous?" Mirage asked.

"Huh? Did I say that out loud… Yeah, I guess I do. You're not bad at all."

"Thank you. You're beautiful, too."

"That's sweet," I said without putting any weight in the compliment. I was a twitchy mess and far from beautiful.

"You'll see one day," he assured me.

"Same way I'll be normal again?" I asked sarcastically. "Just shut up, Raj," I said in a sudden burst of moodiness.

He didn't respond, just took my hand. We sat that way for who knows how long, long enough for me to wind down and fall into recharge against him.

Consciousness came back to me when I heard a knocking. I was in Mirage's arms, but in a few moments I heard him talking to Hot Rod, to whom I was gently transferred. He carried me back to the berth and was back in recharge within minutes, leaving my less muddled mind to think for a bit.

Curia called us lovebirds. Devcon agreed. Were Mirage and I… like that? Did we act like a couple? Sure, he liked to keep an arm around me, but he was just protective. Sure I spent most of his time off with him. Sure…

I snuggled against Hot Rod, trying not to think about it. Mirage wasn't the one I'd crossed an ocean of frozen space for. Wasn't the one I'd… become like _this_ for. No, that mech was inaccessible to me. Not to mention his possible loyalty to me was on thin ice as it was…

* * *

Skywarp nodded to himself in satisfaction as yet another pissed of Decepticon of a lower rank got on the main comm. to complain about nails or glass puncturing his tires. The Seeker had gone ahead just hours before the planned attack and seeded the highway they'd be using with little patches of nails and broken bottles. There was no way to prove he'd done it, and it would put the Decepticons on edge, take off some of their confidence. Break up their group as they had to stop and remove their tires to regenerate them. The regenerating would tax their energon, too. It was all manufactured to give the Autobots, and consequently Bravura, a fighting chance.

Reverb's placement had been a clever move on Megatron's part, and the Pretender had capitalized on the situation. The Autobots had gotten together with some high grade and were none the wiser, sure to be less than fighting fit when the time came.

Thundercracker knew Skywarp was sabotaging his own, but Starscream didn't. It was actually the blue-lined Seeker's idea to dig out a few potholes, two of which had managed to stop Dead End, which would be funny enough any other day. Now it was all business. The Seeker couldn't bear to think about the consequences if the Decepticons actually won this fight.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of a whooping alarm. Hot Rod jerked next to me, then slipped to his feet so fluidly that I felt clumsier than ever.

"What's going on?" I gasped as his battle mask came up over his face. "What's wrong?"

"Decepticons are massing around the mesa," he said, slightly muffled. "They just hit the sensors. Red Alert says-"

There was a faint boom which both of us felt more than heard. The humans might not be aware of it in the rest of the base.

"That came from the upper deck," my brother said as he dropped to his knees and began messing with the things packed under the berth. "They're probably breaking in through the rock." I watched as he opened a case and pulled out a weapon, a laser gun. He held it up to me.

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"Stay here. If anybody you don't know opens that door you shoot them. Don't stop shooting until they're down, you hear?"

I was beginning to panic. "Don't go," I choked. "Hot Rod, don't go. I don't want you to get hurt!"

"We have to stop them, honey. I've gotta get to the stair well. Remember. Stay here. If they get past us you _have_ to be somewhere securable, like this room. It's locked, but if they want in they'll get in. Shoot them."

I nodded weakly. My brother gave me a rapid hug, then got up and left the room. I heard the lock snap back in place behind him.

The alarm kept on whooping, and Hot Rod's emotions were grim. They had extra support here, with the DC mechs, but we'd all been taking it easy on high-grade… I was clear-headed, but not what I'd consider fighting shape. This had to be bad.

A few years ago I would've disobeyed my brother and gone out into the halls. Now… I was slow, I was weak. I wouldn't stand a chance.

A bang on my door startled me and I lifted the gun Hot Rod had given me, releasing the safety. My whole body shook.

"Bravura!" I heard faintly through the metal. "It's Bumblebee! Open up!"

With a relieved sigh I slid to the floor and went to hit the release. Bumblebee was standing there with Sam in his hands. The yellow mech had his battle mask on like Hot Rod.

"Can Sam stay with you? I'd feel better if he had somebot with him."

"I'd feel better if somebody would tell me what the hell's going on!" Sam snapped.

"I will," I said in answer to both. I stepped close to Bee and accepted Sam, relying more on Sam's grip than my own to keep him from falling. I was afraid to squeeze on him, lest I have a seizure and hurt him.

"I'll come back as soon as I can," Bumblebee said to Sam or to me. "Be careful."

The human and I both nodded, then I shut the door and locked it again. Without saying anything to Sam I went to the berth and let him slide down to my lap.

"What's happening?" He asked seriously.

"The Decepticons are trying to take the City, or raid it… Hot Rod didn't say. He said it sounded like they were trying to break in through the mesa and that they'd try to stop them. We're staying in here. Hopefully they'll be able to stop the Cons, but if not I guess it's my job to keep you safe now."

"No offense, but you can't even protect yourself."

I looked down at the human in my lap. "I'm still better off than you," I snorted. "Anyway, I can distract them, if anything. You're the Allspark, but you're also small. I'm big and white. They'll see me first, and if you're fast you can get away."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sam suddenly snapped.

"Uh… what?"

"Curia told Bee how you saved her. You did the exact thing you're planning to do now. You're going to throw yourself to the wolves to buy me time, and it's just not going to work. The self-sacrifice thing is bullshit, especially when they'd tear through you like paper. You'd better stay with me, because what happens when I run into the next one and you're not there?!"

I stared down at Sam in shock. He was criticizing me, and it hurt… but he was right. I couldn't even give him a gun like I'd done with Curia. He needed me.

"Fine," I agreed, looking away from his angry glare. "We stay together if they get through the Autobots. I'll protect you as well as I can."

He sighed, the leaned back against my plated stomach. "We'll be ok," he said, probably more to convince himself than anything. "Optimus and Bumblebee will stop them.  
"And Mirage and Hot Rod," I added.

"Right. They'll all stop Megatron."

We were silent for a long moment, until I wondered aloud what was hanging in the air between us. Sounds, not exactly audible but something I could feel, were beginning to shake through the base more and more often. The Decepticons breaking in, or were they fighting already?

"Do you think Megatron's here?" I asked weakly.

"As big a deal as this is… Yeah. Probably. Unless it's just a distraction from something even bigger."

"What's Megatron like?"

Sam didn't have to think about it. "He's a big ugly bastard. About the same size as Optimus, and as good a fighter, but with this bloodthirsty edge that Optimus will never have. He's been a triple changer ever since the Constructicons brought him back to life, and he's fast. Right up there with Starscream."

"Sounds like a great guy." I sighed, trying desperately to relax myself, if anything for Hot Rod's sake. He was on the razor's edge, but I couldn't tell if he was fighting. He always stayed so steady in a fight, the same determination and confidence throughout.

The minutes dragged on until Sam spoke up again.

"They come after me every now and then," he said quietly. "There have been close calls. So many… but you know, ever since I killed Megatron with the Allspark the first time it's made the appliances into robots six or seven times. Every single time the little robots had red evil eyes and went off trying to kill me, or anything else that moved."

"Weird," I said.

"Yeah. They act like crazy little Decepticons, they come out with bullets and everything. It makes me wonder if the Allspark isn't on Megatron's side somehow. Why else would it make such evil little robots?"

"Maybe it's just a coincidence," I offered. "Maybe our technology is just pissed off with opening cans and making coffee all the time."

"'Our' technology. It's easy to forget you were that girl from so long ago."

"Yeah," I said. "I forget sometimes, even. Ever since I left Earth it's been Cybertronians, and… everything else. Back home, though… remembering is easier."

"Do you miss being human?"

Did I? The life I'd left behind had been horrible. "Maybe before my parents died, yes. I miss that. But it's good, too."

"Flying."

"Yeah, flying. And having Hot Rod."

"That's a freaky set up. Don't you hate not having any privacy?"

"Well, he doesn't have any either. We just got used to each other. I wouldn't change it."

The sound of gunfire interrupted us and I tensed, lifting the gun onto my leg in front of Sam. I put my finger to my lips and double-checked my signature silencing. Sam nodded understanding, and we sat in complete silence while the sounds of fighting came closer. Sounded like two or three mechs, no more, but they were really going at it. The combatants were soon directly outside the room, but then they moved on and their fighting blended in with the general noise in the City.

I didn't notice becoming afraid at first. It came on my slowly, the way you put a frog in cool water before slowly bringing it to a boil. One moment I was relatively calm, the next I was struggling with the beginnings of panic. It didn't take long to find out why. The heavy footsteps of a mech coming down the hallway got my attention, but I expected them to move on. Instead they stopped right outside the door.

I figured it out just before he ripped the door open.

I was on my feet and shooting before Dirge had thrown down the twisted door, but he thought better and used the door as a shield and then as a bludgeon, striking my arm and knocking the gun out of it. I was clutching Sam, probably too tightly, but by his babbling he was alright.

Dirge stopped me when I tried to get around him. He grabbed me by the chest, looking at Sam before meeting my terrified optics. There was a flare of manufactured fear, and then it all disappeared. I was left with only my own.

"I had to use your fear to find you," he said almost apologetically. "I have orders to make sure you get out of here unharmed."

"You could've just left me in my room!" I exclaimed, coming to my senses.

"They'll search the rooms soon," he said. "They know you and the other femmes are here, and they're after you. The Allspark too. I don't care about the human, but if I don't look out for you the Command Trine will kill me. Come one." He set me down and started to pull me to the door.

"No!" I exclaimed. "They're fighting out there! It's suicide, Dirge! I'm a scrapheap!"

"I know," he said coolly. "I've seen the surveillance videos. Still, I'm your best chance. The Autobots are losing already."

Losing? Hot Rod was still ok, but I thought about Mirage. Where was he? Was he even alive?

Dirge used the distraction to manhandle me into the hallway.

"What the hell?!" Sam screamed. "Fight back! Don't let him just walk you out like a poodle!"

"Shut up, human," Dirge snarled. "Do you want them to come looking for you? We have orders to secure the both of you, and you're about to make it happen if you don't shut your slavering trap!"

"You shut up, you big bastard! You think you're tough, shoving around a little femme?"

"She's holding _you_ like a baby," Dirge pointed out. We'd started to move. "Get ahead of me," he said, pushing me before him. "I want you to start running. If anybody sees us they'll think a Seeker is on your tail and they'll stay out of my way."

"Ok," I said numbly. I was falling back into the old lesson the fearmonger had taught me. Don't fight, but don't give up. Wait it out. At least he wasn't trying to scare me. I started running and Sam dissolved into a spluttering wreck. He was right to think this was absolute madness, I knew, but I couldn't do anything else. Dirge was in control here, just the way he liked it.

I shied away from a dark mech as he lunged for me from a crossing, but then he saw Dirge and withdrew.

"Head for the exit," Dirge snapped behind me.

The main exit would be locked down, so the only other way out would be the upper deck.

"We'll never make it out," I whispered to nobody in particular.

We hit the heart of the fighting all at once after a few hallways of running. I was exhausted, but panic kept me moving. It was a wonder I hadn't lost my footing yet. Sam was still safe. The words became a mantra, keeping me moving. _Sam's safe. Sam's safe._

Someone screamed my name, but I ran past that hallway, continuing for the upper deck. I couldn't risk Dirge, who was just behind me, harming me. Sam could get caught in the crossfire.

I saw a human in the hall, Lt. Brever, and called a warning, but it was pointless. Before my eyes the human's skin split open, revealing a nasty looking little mech about Knock Out's size. He had a Decepticon emblem. I'd heard about Pretenders, but… I'd _liked _that guy?

He moved out of the way, but I went out of my way to clip him as I ran, even if it nearly tripped me.

"Don't frag this up!" Dirge snarled behind me, his normally velvety tone rough.

We passed a few knots of fights, where I saw my friends locked into vicious hand to hand combat or firefights, but miraculously Dirge, Sam and I passed unscathed. Well, unscathed until a tall dark silver mech appeared at the end of a hallway. Red optics, long and unfamiliar build. He looked from one of the other halls down mine, and his optics locked on me. I stumbled, and next thing I knew I was on the floor with my head aching furiously.

"What happened?" I groaned.

"That bastard behind us threw you into the wall!" Sam said. Oh, thank Primus he was ok.

"You hurt?" I asked.

"No, but that's about to change…"

"**Excellent, Dirge. You have exceeded my expectations."**

"**Thank you, Lord Megatron."**

I looked up at Dirge hatefully. He was more afraid of Megatron than the Command Trine and he'd turned me in.

Megatron bent down, drawing my attention.

"**Suitable,**" he said thoughtfully. "**Weak, but better than the groundbound femme we have so far.**"

"**What groundbound femme?**" I asked without thinking.

He hit me, and not a little warning punch. He threw me against the opposite wall with stunning force, but I twisted to spare Sam.

"**Don't speak to me without the proper respect, femme,**" he said casually.

"**I'll speak to you however the frell I want, you disgusting bag of lugnuts!"**

Dirge flashed fear into me, but it was too late. Megatron kicked me, sending me flying partway down the hallway and sliding even further. But I wasn't entirely aware of that.

When Megatron kicked me, it made my arm crush down on Sam. Sam, instead of dying as he should have, flashed with Allspark energy. Consequently, that energy flashed though me. When we slid to a stop I realized two things with stunning clarity.

The first was that Sam was not dead.

The second was that I was not crippled.

It was an innate feeling. I knew it before I really understood the meaning behind it, but as I pushed myself easily to my feet I realized I wasn't shaking. My vision had suddenly expanded because my optic no longer flickered wildly. I felt _alive._ Not weak. I felt stronger than I'd ever felt. I also knew that my knives had grown back. Inexplicably, sweetly, painlessly the Allspark had healed me.

Megatron also seemed aware that something had changed in me. His expression first narrowed in displeasure, then opened up in a much more frightening predatory smile.

**"It seems the Allspark has favored you**," he said smoothly. His voice wasn't like I'd expected, not at all. He had the kind of voice you could trust, if only he said the right things.

"**It seems that way,**" I said, cradling Sam carefully. My mind was racing with a fresh need for survival. I backed away from the two mechs down the hall, but Megatron laughed.

"**You think you can get away from me?**" He boomed. "**You're **_**mine**_**, both of you!**" With that he launched at us. He was intercepted by a red blur from a crossing hall and my spark nearly exploded for fear.

"Hot Rod!" I screamed.

But he wasn't alone. Another red flash, followed by yellow, transformed and revealed themselves to be the Twins. Sunstreaker went for Dirge, and Sideswipe joined Hot Rod in fighting off Megatron.

"Run!" One of the twins screamed, so I did. I turned and I ran, faster than I'd dreamed I'd ever run again.

"Whoa," I heard Sam gasp, and I got a little thrill out of it. But something else was on my mind, something very disturbing.

Megatron said they had one of the femmes. Forcia I could care less about, she'd been nothing but rude and frosty with me since I'd arrived, but if it was Curia… where was Artemis?

The thought of the little femme sent my spark calling wildly, searching for a response. It didn't take long, and luckily she wasn't far or I might not have found her. I could tell she was terrified.

Sam had no idea what I was about to get us into.

Several Decepticons I didn't recognize were positioned in one of the few true corners in the maze of halls, and huddled in that corner was Curia and Artemis.

I stopped before they gave me any notice and set Sam down.

"What are you doing?" He asked frantically. "Go find Optimus!"

"Don't worry, Sam," I reassured him. "I just have to do something first." I can do it now, I thought to myself. I muscled a door open into an unused office and nudged him to the dark room. "Hide. I'll be right back."

He stared at me in disbelief then ducked into the office without further protest.

The mechs noticed me just a few seconds after I started running. I extended my knives, a slick and delicious feeling, just before I punched my thrusters and rushed them, slamming against the first mech much sooner than he'd expected. A blade to his optic made him a much less significant threat, but the other four were still very much a problem.

The thrill of being able to detect and react to them had me on some kind of battle high. They got a few knocks in, but their few gunshots were badly aimed and none connected. I'd damaged two more mechs with only a few dents and gashes to show for it when Breakaway and Ironhide burst into the fray like a pair of rhinoceroses.

I took the opportunity to yank the stunned Curia to her feet and navigate her through the wild mess of mech around us. More were joining the fight, but we managed to make it into the office where Sam waited before things really went nuts. Breakaway and Ironhide fell back slightly, obviously guarding us from the oncoming enemy, but I saw a flash of red chevron and knew Bluestreak or Prowl had arrived, along with Blaster.

I shut the door, spotting Sam against the back wall, then talked the stunned Curia into helping me shove the heavy metal desk against the door. She was frozen, completely shocked into some kind of spacey daze, but she listened to me before she sat against the wall, clutching Artemis mechanically. The sparkling wasn't crying, but I could still tell she was terrified.

"We'll be ok," I said after a minute. They were fighting outside, but we were protected. We had Sam and the two femmes I cared about here, safe. I extended my knives again and moved to stand next to the heavy desk, just _waiting _for someone to try to muscle in.

In one act of violence my miserable half-life had been reshaped. I was whole again, and in some freakish way I had Megatron to thank for it. My fears of being weak and helpless the rest of my life dissolved instantaneously as the reality of it sank in.

So long as the Autobots repelled the Decepticons, of course.


	28. Chapter 28

A big ol' thanks to everyone who read and reviewed :) it makes me happy!

This is the chap where my story would split off if I decided to do a 'what if skywarp is out of the picture' side story. Love the idea, hate it? Don't care so long as I keep doing the warp story? let me know. I should have been writing like three papers when I wrote this. is bad obsession.

This chap moves fast, like... Bam. I dunno if I love it, but I guess it'll work.

* * *

Someone slammed into the door twice, but it seemed like random thrashing. I worried about Hot Rod, focusing as sharply on his spark as I was on the door. If I felt anything go wrong I might just rip it open myself to help him.

It felt like I could do anything. _False_, my logical processor snipped in the background, but I'd learned to ignore it by and large.

Artemis made a strange noise. When I looked back she was crawling out of her mother's encaging arms and sliding to the floor to go sit by Sam. The human seemed surprised, but then he took her hand. It was cute, but it made me wonder just how bad Curia was right now. I slipped from the door, trusting the Autobots to cover it, and went to kneel in front of the stunned femme.

_Curia? _I called, touching her cheek. _Wake up and look at me. It's not over just yet._

Not a lot of reaction out of her, but now I wasn't sure how to proceed. My experience was limited to faux repair work on volunteer medics and what I'd read in datapads. I couldn't remember anything about nonphysical traumatic shock. This was all in her processor, as far as I knew. Patting her cheek didn't help, nor did plugging into her arm port and shocking her. For fear of doing more damage I decided to leave her alone and go back to the door.

What happened in a few minutes of tense waiting, listening to the fighting outside, should have been impossible. It defied all my logic and made me feel incompetent at the same time. Shouldn't have happened, but it did.

Constructicons broke through the back wall of the room. One second there was no sound but from the front of the room, next there was one shuddering boom, two. The third split the wall with a burst of rock and dust. They destroyed the barrier before I could cross the room for Sam and Artemis, and somewhere in the madness they were snatched up. I knew at least Artemis was alive, because I could hear her screaming. Sam was quiet, hopefully just unconscious.

Someone called our names from the outside, but I couldn't move the door for all the debris on the floor. I could see a huge shape not quite able to fit through the improvised back door, but what alarmed me most was that Artemis's screams were getting further away.

Somebody had her, maybe Sam too. Well, there was only one way out of there anyway.

The Constructicon, Scrapper maybe, didn't expect me to come out of the dust. The huge mech wasn't able to stop me from getting around him. Someone else behind him nearly did, but the Allspark had blessed me with the reflexes of a turbofox. I could feel the energy coursing to life in me, but I had a feeling the gift was temporary so I had to use it while I could. In a flash I was through the storeroom they'd use to get to us and out in the hallway, tuning in on Artemis's screams. I saw a flash of a huge green back a few times, Longhaul I thought, but I was never quite able to reach him. Mechs got in the way, or the less effective human, or regular old debris.

Then I lost them altogether. My panic spiked and I started running blindly, screaming the sparkling's named over the horrible screams and roars that filled the halls. Autobot City would never be the same, but that was hardly my concern at the time. If I let them take Artemis I'd never forgive myself. Never.

For a moment I wondered if Skywarp was down here. He would help me find Artemis. Just as quickly as the thought occurred to me I knew with strange certainty that I would get no help from the mech, and that if Artemis and Sam were to be recovered in time it would have to be me. Alone. No help this go 'round.

Maybe the combination of realizing that I was alone in my particular mission and the power of the Allspark gave me a temporary insight into the sparkling's whereabouts, because suddenly I knew with certainty that she was being taken aboveground already.

In my single-minded focus I probably nearly died a few times, but it was like a halo of protection was wrapped around me. For once in my life Murphy's law didn't apply. It felt good. Bullets, plasma shots, stray kicks or thrown mechs, it didn't seem to matter. None of it hit me.

Getting up the stairs was harder, but using my thrusters I was able to avoid the danger there too. How had Earth been supporting so many Decepticons for so long? It seemed like dozens of enemy mechs were down here to kill my friends, and no fliers besides Dirge. Where were the other Seekers?

Dirge, as if on cue, flashed fear into me just seconds before I reached the upper deck. A quick glance back caught him rounding the stairwell and I started using my thrusters more, unsure if he'd go back to escorting me or try to knock me unconscious with a wall again.

I came to the upper deck just in time to see Longhaul loading an unconscious Sam and a sobbing Artemis into Starscream's cockpit. The little femme tried to run, but the mech slapped her in once and she stopped, though she didn't seem hurt.

"STOP!" I screamed just before Starscream burst his thrusters and blew out through the huge, gaping hole in the deck and disappeared. Starscream was the fastest one in the command trine. I could never catch him.

But I would try.

Utilizing my thrusters with every step I shot past the Decepticons lingering on the upper deck, though their main purpose seemed to be to stop stragglers like me. Fate or God or something was on my side once again and reached the hole to the outside unharmed, transforming and getting out. They shot at me, but it all missed.

I could still tell where Artemis was being taken, so I tuned into that to follow. I might've followed all the way to what seemed to be the Gulf base when my concentration shattered on sight of a dark silhouette in the distance. It made a wide turn across the horizon then began to head towards me.

_Skywarp!_ I screamed in relief on the Decepticon frequency, trying to limit the range as much as possible and still be heard.

My joy was short lived. He _shot_ at me, vicious long-range missiles that, though they didn't seem to be aimed to kill, shocked me into silence none the less for it. They whizzed past me with a little evasion and exploded somewhere beyond, but not at some unseen pursuer. No, he just shot at me.

I veered away from the incoming mech, breaking from the path I knew would take me after Starscream. He followed. Skywarp was coming for me, and in a way I didn't much like.

What happened next was more terrifying than anything I'd ever done, not because I was alone with a Seeker who wanted to harm me, but I was alone with _Skywarp_ and he seemed to want to harm me.

He chased me lazily. I couldn't begin to hope to match up in the Tweet. Even in the tetrajet or F-35 my actual power hadn't been enough to outrace Skywarp on his worst day. It wasn't until another Seeker, one of the 'coneheads', appeared that he made his move. He accelerated unexpectedly and caught me in a turn, simultaneously transforming and digging his claws into my plating.

_Stay away,_ he said viciously.

I transformed in his hands and did my best to shake him off, slashing at his face and neck, but I couldn't bring myself to really try. It was Skywarp, for God's sake!

_This isn't a game! _He snarled in frustration and released me to let me fall. A glance up told me he was feigning an injury, but I twisted and transformed to follow Starscream again.

The other Seeker struck me before I got far. He just ran right into me, transforming seconds before impact and sending us both spinning wildly. It hurt like the pit, but I kept my wits and transformed, desperately trying to fend off the mech who was in the process of getting a good grip on me. I had the worst feeling that he planned to pull me apart.

I heard Skywarp's familiar voice roar over the wind, and the black mech was flashing past, scraping Ramjet off of me. They didn't fight, though. The broke away and began to turn on me again.

_Neutral Bravura to anybody, _I said gravely on the Autobot frequency as I reoriented myself to the Gulf,_ they have Sam and Artemis. Trying to pursue, but Seekers are circling the mesa. Don't know if I'll make it. Starscream is headed to the Gulf. Somebody swear to me you'll save them!_

Optimus himself responded, though by the wear in his voice he was caught up in something below ground. _Don't be a hero, Bravura. We will save them. Can you get to a safe place?_

_ No, Optimus. Skywarp and a conehead are following me. _True enough, they weren't trying to harm me now. They were following at my current pace. It occurred to me that I was doing the work for them, flying to their base all on my own, but I didn't have any other plan.

_Ultra Magnus is sending Springer and Blades, but they won't be here in time. If you surrender you may survive to be rescued._

I sort of felt like I'd already done that. _Ok, Optimus, _I sent back. _Sorry I couldn't keep them safe. I tried._

_I know you did your best. We _will_ save you all._

_If you die I'll kill you myself, fraglet,_ Sunny snarled on the comm. out of nowhere.

_Just don't die,_ Hot Rod's strained voice said immediately after. It embarrassed me that every Autobot in range had heard my exchange with Optimus, but it couldn't be helped.

_Don't die,_ Mirage repeated Hot Rod's order.

_You would die for them,_ I pointed out.

_That's different!_ Hot Rod exploded.

_This is what we signed up for. It's not your fight,_ Sunstreaker growled.

_I signed up to protect Artemis a long time ago. I'm going to do what I have to, to keep them safe, both of them._ I said to the mechs who cared about me and anyone else who was listening. _But I am not giving up_.

I shut off my comm. in order to focus on what was happening around me. The Seekers had moved in closer, very clearly escorting me.

Skywarp had turned on me. His order to stay away was like a hammer to my spark even as I replayed the memory in my head. Why? Wouldn't he have said 'stay away, it's not safe' or 'stay away, someone's coming' instead of just rebuffing me like that?

Dirge said he'd seen surveillance videos. Skywarp would surely have access to something like that. Had he seen me in my crippled state and lost interest?

Why the hell was Skywarp doing this?

After flying for some time, just as we reached the coastline, I checked my energy level and got a little jolt of surprise. I'd used less than a percent of my total resources, still hovering over a whopping 99%. The Allspark's gift continued to amaze me, but I couldn't help but feel that it was a conditional favor. I was expected to do something with it, and I could only assume it was rescue Sam and probably Artemis. I wouldn't leave without both of them.

The sun had been in my optics for a while when we reached the base. Artemis was down there. I could feel it. I transformed and landed on the low metal platform, which was normally below sea level. Starscream was already below.

The Seekers landed behind me, but I didn't move to even move to look. I had flown deliberately to this place and I had a part to play. Ramjet might not know the difference.

"Will you take me to my sparkling?" I asked, my voice more pained than it would've been naturally. I needed to be a traumatized mother right now.

They were silent behind me so long that I was afraid they were going to ignore me, but then Skywarp spoke. "You don't expect _us_ to look after it, do you?"

"You'll let me have her back?" I asked quietly.

"Duh," the other Seeker sneered. "Do we look like caretakers to you?"

I turned finally, to look at Skywarp. He was standing there and his expression was impassive, maybe even amused. I felt like I could break down at any moment under that cruel stare, but instead I looked at the other Seeker. Ramjet or Thrust, I still wasn't sure. Maybe Ramjet, judging by the way he attacked me back over the mesa.

"What are we waiting for?" I asked anxiously. I was beginning to worry that Starscream was going to hurt Artemis. The machine down below, the one he used to kill humans…

"Starscream wants to take you down personally," Skywarp said, his optics drilling into mine when I looked back at him.

"How personal are we talking about?"

"Frell if I know," he said with an easy shrug. I could count on one hand the number of days I'd spent with Skywarp in the last few years, and he was treating me like a lowly stranger. Like I meant nothing to him.

"What in Primus' name is going on with you?" I said to the black and purple Seeker, allowing my voice to quaver. I couldn't make myself get worked up over the sparkling and Sam, but the thought of losing the Seeker…

He stared at me, his mouth twitched… for a moment I thought he was going to really speak to me. Look at me. But then he laughed. It was a horrible derisive sound, quickly joined by his fellow Seeker. I turned away, hugging myself against the embarrassment. He wasn't acting like the Skywarp I knew.

* * *

The betrayal in her optics when he forced that hideous laugh made him want to choke. He'd tried to explain, but in the heat of the moment, seeing her chase after Starscream as if she stood a chance… He wished he'd said something different. _I love you,_ for one. _You can't act like you know me. They'll use you to get to me, for power. I'll do what I can to help them._

But no, he'd realized she was really going to follow Screamer and he yelled at her to just stay away. Her half-hearted attempts to poke him with her knives had disappointed him, not nearly enough show to convince Ramjet, and he'd yelled at her again. She could do better. She'd killed mechs wearing nearly a foot of mining armor! But now she thought he'd turned on her. He longed to go to her, drop to his knees and wrap his arms around her slim form and make her understand she would be as safe as he could make her. But Ramjet was watching, and there was no telling what kind of surveillance Soundwave was using.

Still, the way her shoulder hung, the fingers he could see curling around her sides as she held herself… it broke his spark. Slag it all, he just couldn't stop messing it up with her. Now it might cost her life.

Watching her standing there, he realized that when she'd looked at him, pivoted, stood… she'd looked completely healthy. Not the shivering, jerking thing he'd watched in the surveillance room over and over and over. She was herself again, somehow. She was well, and he might be the one to help take it all away again.

* * *

Starscream eventually came back up. He was alone, confident, and as soon as he stepped from the elevator he ordered Skywarp and Ramjet to head back to the mesa. I saw Skywarp hesitate, but then he turned and jumped into the air, flying away without further protest.

I stood there on the deck, sea spray pattering off of my exoskin just slightly. The water was fairly calm today.

"Come on," he said without the attitude I was expecting. I nodded and passed him, stepping into the elevator. He followed me in and started the machine downwards.

I took a deep intake, trying to calm my nerves. Starscream's hand appeared under my chin, making me flinch back a step, but he followed and gripped my chin, turning my face this way and that as if checking me over.

_You're an absolute fool,_ he told me, his internal voice as calm as his external one. _Megatron won't be patient with your idiocy for long. He'll try to do it the easy way, I'm sure, but if you don't give him what he wants he'll take it._

_ What's that?_

He turned me around, running a practiced hand down my wings, like a farmer checking a horse's legs. I shivered, but he ignored it. _With the Allspark in his possession he will be able to begin rebuilding our race, but we all seek to see our qualities passed down. Megatron won't be any different. You will be expected to carry a sparkling, perhaps his only sparkling. When he finds out you're useless in that respect he'll either kill you or throw you to the lower ranks. Mechs like my brothers and I will have first pickings, but I can guarantee scum like the Constructicons and Stunticons will get their piece in time._

_ Why are you telling me this?_

The elevator stopped and he put a hand at the back of my neck, leading me out into the hall.

_Because I want you to know it's all your fault that you're here when you're screaming under a mech you loath._

_ At the risk of being stopped in the future, I plan on getting out of here, Starscream. You and your brothers didn't take me from Predaca just so I could be a blow up doll._

_ You know nothing. I determined long ago why you're perfect for Skywarp. You're as stupid as he is._

_ He's not stupid, _I sent defensively.

_I've known him since we were less than half your size. He has rocks in his processor._

_You're unpleasant,_ I informed him uselessly.

_You're an embarrassment to the species._

I gave it up, letting Starscream shove me into an empty room with a large berth, more suited to one of the bigger Decepticons than me. Thirty minutes later he was back, holding Artemis like a doll. He tossed her to the floor without a word and left. At first she just sat down where she landed and looked absolutely terrified, but I had a burst of sympathy and knelt over her. She heard my spark calling. She was crawling up my leg before I could pick her up, making horribly pitiful noises.

"Shh, hush little baby… Shh… I've got you now. Did they hurt you?"

"No…" Her voice was tiny. I'd heard her speak twice before, but always to her mother, not actually to me.

"Good. I'm here, and I won't let them hurt you. Remember the stories about the Allspark? The human Sam?"

She nodded.

"It helped me today. I'm stronger now, and really fast. So don't you worry. I'll take care of us, but for now we have to be good. If we can't get out of here and go home Optimus Prime and Rodimus Prime will save us. Won't that be so brave of them? We have to be brave like the Primes."

"Ok." It was barely a whisper, but I was gratified all the same.

Megatron came into the room a few hours after he returned from Autobot City. Artemis was recharging on my chest and I was flat on my back. If not for the sleeping child I would've gotten to my feet. Instead I only jerked reflexively.

He raised his hands and motioned for me to stay as I was. "No need waking her up. I've been told she's quiet," he said softly enough not to disturb her.

I nodded, curling my arms around her a little tighter.

"You know I am Megatron. You will call me Lord Megatron. I know your name is Bravura. You understand why you are here?"

I nodded again, careful to keep my expression passive.

He smiled, a strangely unthreatening version of the one I'd seen in the city. "I haven't forgotten your impertinence, but you're only a femme. I see now that you were worried about your offspring. Logic cannot trump a creator's desire to protect her offspring, as evidenced by your," his smile became more amused than ever, "_willingness_ to come here."

He started to cross the room and I couldn't help it anymore. I wouldn't be supine with this monster standing over me. I slowly eased myself upright, my spark singing softly to Artemis to help her stay in recharge. By the time he sat on my berth I had my back against the wall and my legs curled against Artemis's back, a flimsy protective barrier.

"I won't hurt you unless you try to harm me or escape," he informed me, unsurprised by my withdrawal. "You say you understand your purpose here, but I imagine Starscream already poisoned you with some melodramatic theme of rape and breeding." He waited for agreement, but I only watched him like he might attack me at any moment. "It's not what I intend for you at all. The Allspark is secure and will soon be returned to a proper vessel. We will return to the way Cybertron once was, most of the population being Allspark-born and raised by dedicated caretakers. I intend for you to be the first caretaker of the new empire."

He let me mull that over for a while before going on. "By showing good behavior now, obeying me and doing as I ask, you and your offspring will be unmolested. When I remove the weak links from our species and we begin to rebuild, your sparkling will be treated as a princess. You will be a queen, loved by all, and all for taking care of the young."

"I didn't think there was room for anyone at the top but you," I whispered.

He smiled. "Astute. You will not have a title, I use the term casually. You will be _treasured_ by our kind, as will your daughter. Femmes are so rare, and they have such skills as mechs fail to exhibit."

"You're going to kill Sam."

"The human male will have to die for the greater good. It's for our continued existence, my dear. Without the Allspark we will crumble."

"But there are femmes left… We aren't dying out right away, and we can find ways to live. Optimus believes it's possible."

"Optimus has optics for his idea of the future and no other. If it were true that our species had any chance of sustaining itself without the Allspark I might be inclined to agree, but we are an energy hungry race, and in order to truly build our society to its former glory we need power. A single sun will never be enough, and we will be forced to scavenge and skimp as the Fallen did. Imagine a night sky where only one star shines, Bravura. You are that lonely star. Oblivion before and behind and all around you, with no hope in sight. That is you now, existing outside of the glory that was Cybertron. With the Allspark returned to our keeping we can fill that sky with a million stars, all blazing with glory and contributing to the greater good of Cybertron."

"That's a pretty picture," I whispered, "but where will the brightest star belong in that sky?" I inclined my head to him to make my point.

He smiled. "I will be the sky. I will be the protector of our kind, as I was before this war began. My laws and limits will shape us more beautifully than we ever were and we shall flourish."

He stood up then, looking fairly pleased with himself. "I much prefer you in a civil state. Think about what I've told you, and I will answer your questions the next time."

He came back later. Artemis was awake this time, playing a came of make-believe with me, when Megatron arrived. He didn't knock, which didn't surprise me. Artemis looked up from her imaginary pirate ship and I straightened from my hunched over stance. I'd been playing the sea monster.

"Charming," the Decepticon leader said.

Artemis crossed the berth that had been her pirate ship to wrap her arms around me.

_It's ok,_ I sent to the nervous child. _He is bad, but he doesn't want to hurt us. _I picked her up anyway, standing to avoid feeling too comfortable around my captor.

"You haven't been accepting the cubes you've been offered," Megatron said with gentle disapproval. "Why?"

"I don't want you to drug me or her," I said honestly. We had been offered cubes several times in the last eighteen hours or so, but Artemis had refused out of stress and I'd been too afraid of chemical additives to dare. Artemis would need some soon, but I was still over ninety percent on Allspark energy.

"You will not be drugged," Megatron said with a little snort. "I'm not that tactless."

"Forgive my impertinence, Lord Megatron." I said mechanically. I didn't really care if I offended Megatron, but for Artemis I would suck up to him. I'd learned how well enough on Predaca.

"You are forgiven." Megatron went to the berth, towering over me before sitting down. "Do sit. We can attend to the questions I'm sure you have."

I sat, bowing my head submissively. Megatron was a safe distance from me, though no amount of space could make it a comfortable one.

Though Artemis was silent, I stroked her back comfortingly all the same. "Why do you have to kill Sam now? Why not let him live out his natural lifespan and take the Allspark back when he dies of old age? It shouldn't be more than fifty stellar cycles or so."

"We've wasted enough time simply _searching_ for the cube, Bravura. It's time to act."

I bit my glossa and didn't say what I wanted to in response.

"You don't agree with me?" He asked, his optics glued to me.

"It's not my place to argue," I said with a bitter smile.

"True. You seem well-wired, I'm sure you've considered the consequences of disobeying or defying me."

Oh, had I. I didn't really care what they did to me, I'd more or less been there done that. It would suck like hell to get thrown to the bastards that comprised the Decepticon army, but it wasn't going to be a new wound. No, I was intensely concerned about what he could do to Artemis. He could give her to Starscream for his experiments, hurt her in order to hurt me, or… maybe kill her. I didn't know how valuable she was to him, or if she was valuable enough to keep alive.

"Yes, Lord Megatron. I have."

"Good. I'm certain you'll continue to be on your best behavior."

I nodded, avoiding the gaze of the intimidating mech.

"Any other questions?"

"Yes, but about the current arrangement. Am I, er… protected? From your mechs, if they try to get in here?"

"My communications officer knows everything that goes on in this base. The mechs have their orders, but if they break them you won't be bothered long."

Artemis was peeking around at Megatron by now, and her blue optics caught his attention.

"She doesn't look much like you. Nor does she appear flight-capable."

"She takes after her father remarkably," I said quickly.

"An Autobot?"

"No, a neutral. He died."

"My condolences. Raising a sparkling alone is a challenge in the best of times."

As if he gave a damn. He was so _sparkless._

"Is Sam still alive?" I worried about him. Artemis I could watch over, but Sam was alone and who knew what they were doing to him.

"The human lives. A suitable vessel must be constructed and the proper minerals and alloys are in despicably short supply on this planet."

My sigh of relief set off a new question from Megatron.

"Why do you care about the human?"

"He's a friend," I said shortly. "I care about my friends."

"More than your own species?"

"I don't see why it has to be like that," I said, my tone becoming slightly argumentative. "There are femmes left. I know you've been away from the colonized sectors, but they've surfaced here and there. The Seekers missed some. The species could rebuild without sacrificing anybody. Not even one life."

"You're not Allspark-born, are you?" When I shook my head he nodded. "No. Those of us who were, like myself, understand the beauty of our creator perhaps a little more than bots like yourself. It's a sacred object, and the beings it creates are superior, pure. The creation of these pure beings is rapid and unpredictable, but without the messy business of sparking and an excruciatingly long period of gestation. Procreation was intended to be a last resort, inferior to our true beginnings."

"I don't understand what the hurry is," I grumbled. "You've waited so long, why kill Sam now?"

"Why should our species wait a moment longer? We have been crumbling from the bottom up ever since Optimus flung the Allspark into space!"

"You ordered the femmes killed," I accused.

"Another sacrifice for the greater good. It failed, unfortunately. I do regret the unnecessary loss of life."  
"But you wouldn't if it had worked."

"True." At least he admitted it.

I hefted Artemis a little higher and nuzzled my check against her thinly armored helm.

"Bravura," he said after a time, "a great leader must do things that he doesn't wish to in order to protect his people. To choose to give up a minority to preserve the majority may seem unfair or unjust, but it's for the greater good."

When I didn't respond he stood up. "I know you don't understand my methods, but you will. I will speak to you again."

"Goodbye, Lord Megatron."

He inclined his head to me and left, leaving me alone with Artemis.

* * *

"It's not her sparkling," Megatron snarled, giving Skywarp a good thump on the helm.

"But my lord, she came here willingly to retrieve it. She said-"

"I know a liar when I hear one! How do you think I've managed to thwart Starscream's pitiful attempts at takeover for so long?"

"Even so, it lured her here. Surely it doesn't make a dif-"

"What makes a difference is your shoddy information, Skywarp! Your performance has slipped in my absence, Skywarp, and I don't like looking like a fool. You're worse than Starscream, and now that sneaking femme thinks she has me tricked! I want to know why they sent her here. What is she hiding?"

Skywarp was silent. It was best not to say anything and hopefully avoid inflaming his leader any further. To his great relief Megatron turned away, signaling that he was done with Skywarp's presence. The Seeker left the throne room quickly, heading for the hall where Bravura was being kept.

He couldn't talk to her long, but he could slip in and say _something_ to her. Warn her that Megatron wasn't as pleased with her as she might think.

The door was unguarded, a tribute to Megatron's confidence in the loyalty of his mechs and the security of his base. As a member of the command trine he had the door code, so he entered quickly and shut it behind him. When he looked up Bravura was kneeling on the floor before the sparkling. They'd been playing some kind of game, but the smile was fading from the smaller femme's mouth rapidly. Bravura rose and turned to face him, her expression calm, but her optics fell on his form and she stiffened.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered.

"Little star," he said quietly. She flinched at the nickname and he could see her begin to gather herself like a coil, ready to spring, when he began to walk to her. She didn't stop him from touching along her shoulders, fingering the edges of her plating as if her were admiring her. If Soundwave was watching or listening he didn't want to be given away.

_Megatron knows you lied about the sparkling. He's not happy. Don't lie to him again or he may hurt one of you._ He lifted one of her arms, which was hanging limp, and felt along it length. It felt incredible to be touching her again, but the circumstances made him sick.

_Why are you telling me? I thought you… didn't want me around you. I thought you said to stay away._ Her expression was painfully accusatory.

_I didn't mean it that way. I didn't think before I spoke. I didn't want you to come to the base, I wanted you to go back to the mesa. I wanted to say I love you._

The way her face broke into a somewhat confused but blessedly relieved smile made him feel halfway redeemed. Maybe she would forgive him for all of his flaws after all.

The door opened behind him, and a glance told him it was Soundwave. The blasted mech must have been lurking around.

"Your presence is unnecessary in the prisoners' quarters. Do not return."

"Sure," Skywarp grumbled, giving Bravura's shoulder a tiny squeeze before releasing her and stalking out. "Just wanted to look at her. Primus…"

* * *

_ I love you._

He loved me. He loved me. He _loved me._

I sank to the berth, letting Artemis crawl into my lap and hugging her tightly. My fears had been lifted and removed in three easy words. I suddenly didn't care that Skywarp was fighting on the wrong side or that he didn't come back to Tricora. I'd figure it all out later. For now… Skywarp still loved me.

* * *

"This is going to be a huge operation, and it all has to go right," Hot Rod sighed, leaning back in his chair while Optimus looked over the datapads strewn on the long table.

"The position of the ocean base makes it nearly impossible for us to reach them without being detected. We have to use the ship," Prowl insisted.

"Are you sure it's wise sending just a two mech team below? We have three to rescue…"

"Two are very small, and judging by what Ironhide and Breakaway said Bravura isn't the same. They said she was fighting when they came on the scene. With knives. The Predacons removed her knives, so the only way she could possibly have them back is…" Prowl trailed off.

"Sam," Optimus finished for him. "The Allspark and Sam healed her so that she could protect him."

Hot Rod groaned. "Couldn't it have picked anyone else? Why her?"

"It had to have a reason," Optimus said thoughtfully. "It may become apparent in time."

"You really think they'll be enough?" Ironhide asked skeptically. "I mean, really, Optimus, consider who you're sending!"

"I have full confidence in the team we've chosen," Optimus assured his weapons specialist, his voice tinged with exhaustion.

Hot Rod actually agreed with Optimus. They couldn't have a more suitable team. Now they just had to figure out how to get Mirage and Hound down there without anyone noticing.

* * *

Reviews make great early Christmas presents.


	29. Chapter 29

Another chapter I'm just kinda... iffy about. I like it ok, but once again I dunno how well the action fleshed out from my head, ya know? Let me know how you think it could improve. :)

Finals start soon, but they also end soon... so i'll get to write without feeling guilty. Maybe I'll work on some _not_ bravura stories, like that Hot Rod one I wanted to do or Devcon/Curia, which is winning in that poll I have on my profile page. maybe the D9 one i worked on briefly and then quit. I've gotten my hands on a few of the IDW spotlights and after reading the little arc with hot rod/hardhead/doubledealer and so on, it's really caught my interest. it's a new world of possibilities!

* * *

The next time a Decepticon came to the door and tried to give us energon I took a cube with a quiet thank you. The mech, not one I recognized, just grinned lasciviously and shut the door. I sipped at it, didn't detect anything strange… To be safe I took a smaller gulp and waited a full half for any strange effects before coaxing Artemis to have some. At first she refused, but after having a small fit from the stress of being away from her mother she accepted the cube, which was much too big for her, and filled up her tank. I took what remained and left it by the door. I didn't need or want any, as my energy level seemed to be hovering mysteriously at 95%.

This confirmed, in my mind anyway, that I'd done the right thing in coming here. The Allspark was somehow sustaining me while I watched over Artemis and tried to work out a way to help out Sam. So far I was at a loss… Even if I got to Sam and got us above water we'd have to get away, and with the Seekers at Megatron's beck and call I'd be stopped. They would probably punish me through Artemis at that point, and…

"I just don't know what I'm supposed to do," I whispered. "Tell me what to do."

Artemis said something in sparkling chatter, so I looked down at her. She was sitting cross-legged, her head cocked slightly while she watched me. I sat up from my weary slump and reached for her, pulling her into my lap and cuddling her. At least she was safe. God, what were they doing to Sam?

When Megatron came back I was even more cautious than before. The Decepticon's calm explanations were pretty reasonable, if you looked at them sideways… but there was that edge, the bloodthirstiness that Sam had described. Megatron didn't compromise, he just destroyed the competition.

He saw the partially emptied cube on the floor and picked it up, taking it to the berth before sitting. I was already sitting there, cross -legged with my back against the wall while Artemis napped in my lap.

"It's a start," he said turning the cube, which looked small in his hands, so that the energon swished from one side to the other. He wasn't much bigger than Skywarp, if at all, and yet his size was much more imposing than any other mech I'd ever come across. Especially now that I knew he was on to me and still wasn't punishing me. What was he after?

"You say you're a neutral," Megatron said slowly. "And that your offspring's father was a neutral."

"Yes." It wasn't technically a lie. I had said it.

"Why did the Autobots allow you, a solitary neutral femme, to risk your life when the odds are immeasurably against you?"

"They didn't know. I made the decision to follow Starscream without thinking. By the time I got in the air the Seekers were on me and I couldn't exactly take it back."

"What experience do you have as a fighter?" His questions were making my wiring prickle, but I couldn't figure out why.

"Limited. As a friend of mine says, I'm better than your average neutral because I'm fast, but I can't hold up against a dedicated fighter."

"How did you survive the extermination?"

_Don't lie to him again,_ Skywarp had said.

"I wasn't born yet," I said cautiously. I was stepping into uncertain territory now.

"So your mother survived it. How did she manage it?"

"I don't know."

"You are considerably younger than I thought," Megatron said after a few moments of silence. "Did you intend to have a sparkling so very young?"

"No." I did not intend to have a sparkling, ever.

"Do you consider yourself lucky to be alive, Bravura?"

Something in his voice made me cringe internally, but instead I just looked up at his crimson optics.

"Sometimes," I said after I let myself think about the question. "Your war hasn't created a very kind universe."

"I'm sure you believe I'm as cruel as the galaxy that you've endured."

I looked away, afraid to say something he wouldn't like.

"I can be a harsh master," he continued. "Being in a position of leadership for so long, I've become adept at certain skills. How much do you know about Starscream, the Aerial Commander?"

"He's your second, but he wants to replace you" I said quietly. "He's the fastest in the command trine. He's a snob."

"Amazing how accurate common knowledge can be," Megatron purred. "Starscream often lies to me, to try to bring about his own ends or to try to end me. I quickly became familiar with the qualities of a liar in action, my dear femme."

I looked up at him again, controlling the glimmer of fear that threatened to show. "That must come in handy," I whispered.

"It certainly does. Since we both know the truth, there's no point in playing this little game any longer. This is not your sparkling."

I nodded, unable to tear my optics away from the predatory stare of the Decepticon leader. "You're right."

"Good femme. Now, tell me honestly why you came to my base, or I will take her from you and give her to the Stunticons. A few of their number… appreciate the charms of a sparkling." He seemed pleased at my sickened expression, smiling slightly.

"I want to find a way to return her to her mother and save Sam before you kill him," I whispered hoarsely.

He watched me carefully as I spoke. "What else?"

I looked up, shaken. There wasn't anything else. "Nothing."

In a move so fast I barely had time to widen my optics Megatron twisted around, trapping my neck against the wall and squeezing slightly. There was an eerie gentleness in the way he held me, almost like a lover, but the intent in his optics told me that he had no love for me. Still, he hadn't even woken Artemis up.

"There is something else," he hissed. "Tell me or I'll remove the sparkling from your care, as you have no maternal right to it."

What else was there? What?! I tried frantically to think why he'd believe I was lying when the possibility of a previously unconscious motive surfaced. Oh, no.

"I wanted to see something," I whispered.

"Continue," he whispered, his face frighteningly close to mine.

"Someone," I choked. I couldn't risk Artemis. I didn't dare give Skywarp away.

"Who?" he hissed, anger clouding his calm features.

"A Seeker," I whimpered, frantically trying to find a way out.

"Which one?" he snarled, his voice raising. Artemis shifted but didn't wake.

"Dirge," I gasped.

His optic ridges pinched together in surprise. It was true that my spark whispered for his, that if I hadn't been in such a panic in the City seeing the fearmonger might have actually given it a rise… but I'd been much too scared for it to respond to his distant spark.

"You came here to catch a glimpse of _Dirge?_ I watched him knock you out." He was having a hard time digesting it, but it'd been true, in a way. I hadn't lied, not completely.

"It's a one-sided interest," I whispered. True again. Dirge had been far more interested in me, back in the Predacan ship, and before that after Sheol, than I had been in him.

"What do you see in him?" Megatron asked, sounding truly interested.

"You won't believe me," I sighed. "But he caught me once, not long ago, really. He did what you'd expect a mech like him to do to a weaker femme, but he also taught me a lesson in survival and let me go, and… it's kept me alive. I owe Dirge my life." I knew it rang true, because I honestly believed it. If Dirge hadn't told me to reject the upgrade on Predaca, or how to obtain a mindset that would keep me from getting myself into hotter water than I already was… I would've died a long time ago, that or I'd be an imperfect technorganic being bred to a smaller equally imperfect monster.

Megatron actually seemed to be a little embarrassed at this point. "You mean you came here, into the keeping of an army you've undoubtedly been taught to mistrust or even hate, to see a mech who raped you."

"I didn't realize it at the time," I said softly. "I thought it was all for Artemis and Sam. I didn't know how badly I wanted to see him." Though I wasn't referring to the same him, now. I had so badly wanted to see Skywarp again…

"Remarkable," Megatron muttered. "You're half-clocked."

"Yeah," I said, hiding my relief. "I'm pretty messed up. You saw me before the Allspark interfered. I didn't get that way for no reason."

"Look on the bright side," Megatron said, finally releasing me. "Under my keeping you'll get to see Dirge, and you'll be so closely watched you won't be able to ruin yourself again."

"Lovely," I whispered. "I'd rather Sam lived."

"No sacrifice, no victory," Megatron said with a soft chuckle. "How appropriate…" With that he got up and left without another word.

I seemed to be unable to recharge. As the second day drew to a close and my energy level remained constant I began to worry more and more that there might be a time limit on my gift. No clues had magically appeared in my processor to sneak all three of us out of here, so I was beginning to hope that the Autobots would get involved somehow. I was trying to work out how they could manage it when the door opened. I looked up from the rock paper scissors game we'd been playing. Nothing but an empty doorway.

The door shut again, and at first I thought I'd just missed my chance at escape. I heaved a sigh and was about to turn back to Artemis and our game when I felt… something. Maybe the air moving strangely in the room, or a faint noise I wasn't quite able to hear… A glance around the room told me I was alone, but I stood up and extended my knives anyway.

"Somebody's in here," I said slowly. "Megatron said you're not allowed in here. He'll have that creepy monotone bot after you any minute."

"We'd better get moving if that's so, little lady."

The voice came from right in front of me, and it was one I knew well.

"Mirage?" I whispered, reaching in front of me blindly. My fingers met warm metal and I felt his hands curl around mine.

"That's right. Hound is working on Sam. We figured you'd respond better to me, since you don't know Hound and Sam does."

I nodded, relief flooding me. "Yeah. What's the plan?"

His hand withdrew and I heard a faint metallic noise, then he pressed something the size of a grapefruit into my hand. It shimmered to visibility as soon as he withdrew from it. "This is a damn good hologram projector, so don't go giving this one away. There's a hologram of one of the Stunticons already loaded into it, just install it and turn it on. I'll take Artemis and I'll lead you up. If anybody stops you, let me take care of it."

My hands shook as I installed the projector into my chest and let it load itself into my system. I knelt at the berth and took Artemis's tiny hands in mine.

"Look, honey, Uncle Mirage is here. He's invisible, but he's going to protect us. Remember what I said about being brave like the Primes?" She nodded. "We have to be extra brave now. Uncle Mirage is going to carry you, and I'm going to look like a bad mech. It'll only be pretend, I'll still be me underneath. Promise not to get scared?" I felt Mirage's hand on my shoulder, and he sent me a quick _Hurry, there's not much time._ Another nod from Artemis. "Good girl. I'm gonna give you to Uncle Mirage now. You get to be invisible like him, but you have to be extra _extra_ quiet. You're good at that, so I'll know you'll do great. Are you ready? Ok…"

I lifted her up and passed her to where I believed the invisible Intelligence Officer to be. Artemis was lifted from my hands and for a moment hung in the air. My relief heightened yet again when she disappeared. Mirage would keep her safe. She'd be ok.

"Now you," Mirage said. "We have to _move,_ Vura."

In response I activated the hologram. I felt the tiny buzz of its generator, and when I looked down I was gunmetal gray with lavender highlights.

"Eugh," I said softly. "Ok, Raj. Get us out of here."

I felt his hand on my arm- Not my true arm, but the arm of the hologram. It was solid. He wasn't kidding when he said it was a good one. He began to guide me out of the room, and I followed.

_Try to walk like you weigh more,_ he sent. _Like you're lugging a few hundred pounds of weapons systems._

_They're that heavy?_

_They can be. That's better. Left here._

_Artemis is ok?_

_She's being very still, hanging onto me for dear life. I do believe I'll have dents._

_Good. I'll personally pop those out if we make it out of here._

_ I'm not going to forget you said that. Right and then left at the very next turn. Think heavy. Don't look around so much, you live here._

_ Much further?_

_ We'll be at the elevator in three minutes tops._

We passed a couple of mechs, but I stared furiously ahead of me to avoid looking at them. They sniggered as we passed.

_Why are they laughing?_ I asked Mirage nervously.

_You're wearing a hologram of Breakdown. He's kind of… sensitive, I guess. You're playing him well._

_ Oh, good. Any chance this guy is wandering around down here? Two Breakdowns could get fishy pretty quick._

_He should be on the continent. A lot of the groundbound troops don't like to waste the time getting lugged out here unless they need energon._

_ How do you know so much, Mirage? Come to think, how do you know your way around here so well?_

_ I'm the intel, Vura. Hound and I made sure to get comfortable with the place. How do you think I knew where to find you?_

He guided my around another corner. A couple of mechs were hanging outside a familiar looking doorway.

"Hey Breakdown, lookin' good."

I glanced at the mech who spoke and looked down quickly, quickening my pace.

"Come on, you don't mind me getting an optic full, do ya? Where ya goin', Breakdown?"

_Don't answer. Your voice isn't covered._

I rushed way down the hall as quickly as I could without running, leaving the two mechs laughing uproariously.

_How is it going with Sam?_

_Don't know. It's too risky to use comms down here with Soundwave lurking around. He could detect something, even if he can't decode it._

We walked down another hall. If it weren't for the comforting pressure on my arm, I would never know Mirage was walking next to me. His steps and movements were utterly silent.

_Megatron talked to me a lot,_ I said without knowing why.

_What did he say?_

_He's the kind of evil that looks good. He seems believable, until he says stuff like… 'the minority must suffer so the majority may thrive' kind of bull._ I carefully avoided the stare of the one Seeker I'd yet to see, Thrust maybe, as he stood down an adjoining hall. We were out of sight quickly.

_He didn't get to you, did he?_

_No, not that I know of anyway. I still think he's evil incarnate._

_ Good. He didn't just kill the femmes._ Mirage sounded faintly bitter.

_ The Towers._

_ Yeah, and everybot in them. Not to mention countless innocent neutrals all over Cybertron and the colonies. Oh, no. _

_ What? _I couldn't see what was bothering Mirage at first, but he didn't quite manage to shove me back into the hallway I'd come from before I caught a glimpse of wide winged shoulders bird legs. _Who was that?_

_ Arguably the one mech in the place who might know you're not Breakdown,_ Mirage said gravely. _We have to backtrack._

We turned around and kept moving, but a glance over my shoulder gave me a little flare of alarm. It was Dirge, and he was following slowly. Focusing in, I could see his expression was curious and determined.

_Mirage,_ I sent worriedly. _He's behind us._

A couple of seconds passed, then he cursed. _Ok, keep moving. I don't think he's getting anything from me, but chances are he's picking up Artemis. You, too?_

_ Yeah,_ I admitted unashamedly. I was scared. _Oh. Slag, he doesn't just know there are two of us!_

_ I don't follow, _Mirage said, tugging me around a corner.

_Femmes smell different to him. Or taste, or something. Different bots have different feels, Mirage._

_ And he knows how you… feel_. The last word was tinged with so much bitter hatred that I actually felt more grateful towards the Elite, if at all possible.

_ He sees Breakdown, but he feels Artemis and me. He knows, Mirage!_

_ Right. Ok… if he stops us, I'll give you Artemis and take care of it. _A file came in through his touch, a simple bare bones blue print of the base. _Hound will meet you at the elevator. Do your best not to let anybot see her._

_ Don't leave us, Raj,_ I sent, panicking. _I need your help._

"I knew it," I heard Dirge growl from down the hall.

I looked back when his footsteps started hitting the floor a little faster. He was coming, but he didn't look angry.

_Don't do anything unless you have to,_ I sent to Mirage. _He might not-_

"Megatron called me to his throne room," Dirge said when he got close. His optics raked up and down me, looking for a flaw. "You wouldn't believe what he told me. Or maybe you would."

I kept walking and shrugged. Mirage's grip on my arm was almost painfully tight.

"He told me that yo- our guest admitted to being here for me. Apparently she's so obsessed me, she simply couldn't resist."

_What is he talking about?_

_ I kind of told Megatron I came here because I wanted to see Dirge. I didn't want to risk Warp._

_You mean to tell me you came here to see Skywarp? Disgusting, Vura._

_ I didn't ask for your opinion, Raj._

"No comment?" Dirge purred. A thrum of false fear raced up my spine. "I found it to be more than a little intriguing."

I was yanked to a hard stop when Dirge grabbed my arm, luckily not the side Mirage was on. I was almost pulled between them, but Mirage corrected and eased up.

"I know who you are," he whispered, bending low to me. "I'm impressed. I don't know how you pulled it off, or how you're hiding the sparkling… But truly, I'm flattered that you have such a strong attraction for me, thought I'd advise against coming here again." With that he straightened up and stalked up.

I stood there shaking until Mirage gave a gentle tug. _We have to go._

_Ok._

We finally passed down the hall with the familiar elevator exit. I'd never gone up that elevator before. Mirage pulled me to a stop, so I leaned against the wall trying to look casual.

_We're going to wait for Hound and Sam. When we get to the surface Hound will signal Breakaway and Blaster, who will drop from orbit and land. We'll load Artemis with Blaster, since she can handle the FTL if he has to use it, and Breakaway will have Sam. If they're attacked Blaster can get Artemis to safety and come back to help Breakaway._

_ What about us? How do we get home?_

_ You trust me, right?_

_ Of course I trust you._

_ Good. I know you had that episode with being underwater a few years ago, but you'll have to try to get over it on the fly. An Autobot is waiting a few miles out to convey us to shore, but until then we're going to have to go underwater._

_ I spent a few years in space without air, water shouldn't be a big deal…_

_ Well, Hound and I have propellant equipment. You don't. If I drop you, you'll sink to the bottom and you won't be able to get up. _It was true. My engines couldn't function for more than a short burst underwater. After that they cut out._ But I won't drop you. Even if I did for some reason have to let go of you I wouldn't leave you down there._

I took a deep intake. _Good thing you need me to pop those dents out._

_ I don't trust anybody else with the job._

I could sense Mirage's nearness to me because of the way the air moved, but if I hadn't known he was there already I might not have paid attention to it. He was very close, still holding onto my arm loosely. It was comforting, but I knew we weren't safe yet.

_Will Hound be invisible too?_

_No. He's going to be a Decepticon called Rollbar. They're a similar alt mode, same size. He's going to be carrying a piece of equipment, Sam under a hologram. _

_ Think we'll get them up ok?_

_ They'll be fine. We're in more danger than they are._

It was about this time a deep and groaning alarm moaned to life. I slid against the invisible Mirage and his hand tightened. _A few more seconds._

_ Who do you think they found missing?_

_ Doesn't really matter. They'll be checking the other. _ Mirage tugged me to the elevator door, the pad to get into it lighting up under his invisible touch. _I hate saying this, but we might have to go up without them._

_ We can't leave them, Mirage._

_ It's better to save at least some. Hound and I already agreed on this._

_ I will not go without Sam._

_ Bravura, we don't have a choice!_ He pulled me towards the waiting elevator door as it slid open, but a crackling sensation shuddered up my back and neck as the Allspark energy in my lines threw itself against his pull. I stayed put. He pulled harder, but in a quick whipping motion I twisted his grip off. "Take Artemis up. I have to find Sam. I don't have a choice."

"This is madness. I am not going to let you be their prisoner!"

"The Allspark won't let me leave without Sam," I told Mirage calmly. The energy was very much demanding that I ensure Sam's safety. Even if I didn't do anything, I had to be sure he was rescued. "I owe it for healing me. Just go up, Raj."

I heard a grinding noise, then his hand fell on my shoulder.

_I'm staying with you._

_Artemis is more important._

_ To whom exactly? _He asked. _Do you have no idea how important you are to me?_

_You don't understand!_  
_No, _you_ don't understand Bravura. I cannot go up knowing you're down here alone at their mercy. I can't just-_

_ "_GET IN!" I snapped my head around to look, and sure enough a green mech was charging for us, a chunk of wire-ridden metal in his arms. Mirage took advantage of my distraction and wrapped his arm around my artificially masculine waist, lifting me with ease and slinging me into the elevator. He forced me towards the back of the elevator just as Hound burst in with us. There was an electric crackle as he dropped his hologram, revealing a very similar looking mech beneath. Sam was unconscious in his arms. Mirage shimmered into view. As the door shut I caught sight of several Decepticons heading for us. No point in pretending now, so I let my hologram shut down too.

The lift didn't get far before it jerked to a halt. Mirage turned Artemis, who was statue-stiff with fear, into my keeping. The two Autobots conferred a moment.

"They stopped the lift. They'll have it going back down soon. We have to blow our way out," Hound said with gusto.

"The human," Mirage reminded Hound.

"Yeah…Could he last that long?"

"No," I interrupted. "He'd die this deep, especially in as bad as shape as he looks now… But I have an idea."

In a few moments I gave Artemis back to Sam and the mechs moved aside, giving me space as I transformed into the Tweet. I lifted my canopy so that Hound could lower Sam and Then Artemis into my cockpit just as the lift began to move down again. He forcefully pushed down my canopy, which kind of hurt, then turned to Mirage.

"Ready?"

"Ready."

Hound's arms transformed into weapons, while Mirage slung his rifle down to point at the same wall as Hound. The sound in the small space would have been deafening to a human, but luckily Sam was shield in my cockpit. The inrush of water was more of a concern to me. The elevator shuddered and stopped, but the mechs were already at the hole, peeling the metal away while fighting the blast of frozen water. The waiting ocean was absolutely dark.

_Be waiting, we're coming up from the water! We've been compromised._ Hound sent on the Autobot frequency.

_We're ready,_ Blaster sent back.

Once the hole was big enough the two mechs picked me up and carried me to the opening. The flow had eased up, since the room was already more than half full with icy seawater. Hound eased out first, the thunderous growl of his propellant system breaking into the quiet open water. Mirage's followed in moments and I was hanging as dead weight in the water between them as we rushed to the surface at a ridiculous speed. I did my best to spare Sam the rapidly changing pressure, but I didn't know what exactly would help him. Hopefully the Allspark would watch over him.

The water lightened rapidly, and in what seemed like just a minute or so we breached the surface. Almost before we splashed back down the roar of two engines, one familiar and one definitely not from an Earth ship, came in loud and fast.

Mirage and Hound maneuvered to keep me level as Breakaway splashed down before me, Blaster behind. While Hound held me up Mirage pulled himself up my wing and I lifted my canopy, allowing him to pluck out Artemis and Sam. I transformed as soon as the two were clear, relying on Hound to keep me above water and taking Artemis. Mirage went to put Sam in Breakaway as Hound pulled me to Blaster, and in a matter of seconds both of them were secured in the flyers. Just in time.

Two mechs burst up out of the water, one just feet from Blaster. In response the two mechs burned their engines. Blaster rose immediately, Breakaway following a little more slowly. I couldn't see how Breakaway was pushing himself straight up, but it was something I'd seen Skywarp do before, once when I was human and a couple of times in the desert. More tech I didn't have. There was an audial shattering peal, and then Blaster was gone.

Hound started to sink, but my Allspark drive hadn't left me yet. The two mechs who'd broken water, Thrust and Dirge, were coming in. Breakaway was going to be alone and unable to maneuver. Using Hound's body for leverage I threw myself from the water and poured the livewire energy of the Allspark into my liftoff, clearing water from my vents and transforming before the green mech could pull me back down, which he tried. I think I may have burned him a little. My presence seemed to throw the Seekers, but only for a moment. Dirge broke away from his brother to target me while Thrust continued for Breakaway.

Dirge hit me without holding back. I transformed just before he slammed into me, and when we hit the water it felt like slamming into concrete. I think he was trying to sink me, but I hung onto him for dear life, using the confusion of the swirling water to get on his back. His arms were easily long enough to grab me, but as his claws closed on me I crisscrossed my knives against his neck. He'd have to cut through his own wiring to dislodge me.

_Let me back in the air,_ I ordered icily.

_You're safer down here,_ he said in a velvet huff. _Just drop._

_I can't. Get out of the water._

_Let go._

My blades sawed gently against his wiring. _I cannot let go. Get in the air or I'll cut your lines. I won't be sorry._

_ You're asking to get killed,_ Dirge snapped, but then he started rising to the surface. We broke out of the water and I let go of his neck. He flung me away, towards the water, but using the Allspark's tremendous power I just managed to stay clear. Breakaway was struggling with Thrust high overhead, but even as I watched Blaster reappeared with a painful peal. He shot some kind of laser at Thrust and the Decepticon peeled away, though he didn't give up. Very quickly the mechs flew away at speeds I could never hope to match. Dirge didn't follow, stalking me.

_Get down here, you idiot!_ Hound sent furiously. _They'll be fine!_

He seemed to be correct, and at this point there wasn't anything I could do. Even as transformed and let myself fall into the water I felt the sustaining energy of the Allspark fading from my system. I felt strangely empty.

Mirage caught me as I sank and held me lengthways against him, streamlining our two forms as much as possible before beginning our escape underwater. Dirge didn't come after us, nor did any other Decepticon.

Climbing up onto the waiting ship, I couldn't help but feel the weight of water in my vents and feel painfully tired. My energy level had dropped explosively in just those few minutes of seemingly pointless activity in the air, so when Mirage and Hound climbed up behind I just stood there dumbly. Hound moved to the stern, his arms combining into what looked like a nasty missile launcher, while Mirage pulled me to the bow. He held his rifle ready to use. I sank to the deck of the ship at his feet, relief overwhelming me.

"Are you ok?" Mirage asked quietly, his optics on the skyline.

"Yeah. Tired, the Allspark's energy just disappeared as soon as Breakaway and Blaster flew off."

"You look great, and judging by the way you managed to handle geting used as a beach ball it didn't jus fix the exterior."

"Right." I leaned against the mechs legs, not too hard. "Thanks for saving us. I had no idea how I was supposed to get all three of us out of there."

"At least you kept Artemis calm."

"Yeah… where's this Autobot we were supposed to meet? Is he driving the ship?"

Mirage chuckled. "He _is_ the ship."

I jumped slightly, then settled, feeling stupid. "We're on him?"

"Yep. He's one of those super-sized mechs. You don't see them anymore, they were just too big as targets. He'd normally be a smaller interstellar cargo ship, but since we needed the help getting in close to the Decepticon base he volunteered."

"Can he hear us talking about him?"

"Of course."

"Can he talk to us?"

"Yes," a deep and unusually electronic voice said from the cabin of the metal ship.

"Oh. Thanks for this, um..."

"Depthcharge," the mech offered.

"Depthcharge. Thank you."

"It was my pleasure." By his tone I sensed he might prefer to remain silent. Mirage and I decided to follow his example, so while Hound stood watch at the back and Mirage had the front I sat lightly against the Elite's legs and tried to help him keep an optic out.


	30. Chapter 30

Posted the first chapter of that raj/brav AU I was talking about, called it One Disaster Less. It's gonna be angsty and dark where this one will be light and hopeful. Was planning to do more with this chap, but it seemed like a decent stopping point, and this way I can update ODL, which has been itching at me more than I expected it to. R & R kiddos :3

* * *

"Wake up, Vura. We're getting off."

Groaning, I rolled away from the offending hand on my arm. I didn't want to get up, I just wanted to recharge. The relief of being free tied into the emotional release from Skywarp's quick visit had given me the most perfect sense of peace out on the water, and I'd dozed off.

Mirage sighed over me, then shifted me slightly until he got a grip on me, lifting me up. "Come on now, I can't carry you back to Autobot City." His steps were smooth, liquid, but I could tell when we stepped off of Depthcharge and onto solid ground.

"I'll go home later," I grumbled against Mirage's neck.

"Rodimus is worried sick about you, Vura."

"Oh." I onlined my optics, looking up at Mirage. He was right. I guiltily turned my attention to the pained emotions that lurked beneath mine. "I didn't think about that."

He smiled gently. "I get the feeling sometimes you don't do much thinking period."

"Nobody asked you," I said with a smile. As before on the mesa, I had the impression that Mirage was about to try and move in, but then Hound stepped off the ship and groaned.

"Feels good to be back on solid ground, huh?" He crowed, stretching. "Been a pleasure, Mirage, but I'm heading back to DC. Nice meeting you, Bravura, even if you did try to melt my face off."

"Sorry, Hound. Thanks."

He nodded, grinning good naturedly before transforming into a big green jeep and driving away down the dock we'd come to.

"Um," I said, looking at the ground.

Mirage let me get my footing, but he still held me kind of close to him.

"Just… hold on a second," he said, his hands resting lightly on my shoulders.

Looking up at him, I could tell he was about to say something I might not want to hear, so instead I leaned in and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his chest. "Thank you, Mirage. I'll owe you forever."

"You don't owe me anything," he said quietly, returning my hug. "Just never pull that kind of stunt again."

"No promises." I pulled away, though he released me only reluctantly. "Guess I'm gonna get up in the air. I'll see you at the City." Deep down I knew I should've stayed with him, offered to keep up with him, especially since he'd just risked life and limb to rescue me… but I didn't want to encourage the romantic attraction I was almost completely sure he had developed.

"Be careful, keep your comms open," Mirage said softly as I turned away.

"I will." I jumped into the air and transformed, absolutely thrilled at how quickly I accelerated. Still nothing on my first two alt modes, but a vast improvement on my crippled attempts.

It took less time to get home than it did to get to the base; I pushed myself hard and got back well before sun down. The whole in the mesa gaped wide, so I flew in through it rather than walking all the way down the tunnel entrance.

Gears watched me land, then groaned. "I spent almost an hour sweeping this place, and you fly in and bring a whole cloud of dust with you. I hate this dirtball!"

"Sorry," I said apologetically.

"Whatever," he grumbled. "Not like my time means anything to me or anything. Go on down to the repair bay, Ratchet wants to do a check up."

"Sure," I said with a shrug. "See ya, Gears."

"Yeah, see ya. Don't offer to help clean up the mess you made or anything, not like I mind…" He reminded me a bit of an oversized gnome, crossed with a bulldog. The image made me smile, and that good feeling stayed with me as I walked through the halls. The place was a mess, debris, bits of metal lying here and there, concrete blown from corners… The halls were mostly clean, but not perfect. Still, the place had faired better than I expected. To my relief the med bay was untouched as I went to see Ratchet in his office behind the main bay.

"Bravura. You look well," Ratchet said, looking up from a datapad. "Everything functioning well, I presume?"

"Yes, everything is eerily perfect."

"I'm relieved to hear that. Let's take a closer look shall we? Join me in the repair bay."

While I relaxed on a table, Ratchet picked through my external systems, removing plating and pushing apart wiring. He had me sit up briefly to look at the wiring at the base of my neck and clucked.

"This looks nothing like the wiring we replaced," he said. "It's native. No seams, no evidence of soldering. It's like this is the only wiring you ever had."

"Feels like it too," I told the medic. "I feel better than I have in a long time."

"That's no surprise. Now lie back down please. I'm going to do a systems check."

I wasn't watching Ratchet carefully, but I did catch him glance at my spark surreptiously, as if he were looking for a change there. If he saw anything other than my patchy, incomplete oddity he didn't say anything.

"They didn't do anything to me," I grumbled. "No sparklings."

He looked up at me oddly. "That's not what I was looking for." He turned his attention back down, plugging into my core and beginning a thorough examination of my systems. After he was satisfied that I was clean he withdrew and set about shutting my chest again.

"Everything looks perfect. Everything. Even your memory cache has been rerouted. I wouldn't be surprised if you can access things now that you couldn't before."

I hadn't really noticed anything missing, but this made me wonder what I'd been missing before. "I'll look at it later," I said, pushing myself upright. "Too bad the Allspark didn't make me any more flexible," I sighed wistfully. My back was as rigid as it had ever been since my upgrade.

"You asked to be that way," Ratchet said with little sympathy.

"Yeah, yeah. It's worth it." Checking my internal clock, I figured Hot Rod would be going to our quarters to recharge soon. "If everything's fine I'm going to go try and relax. Thanks for looking me over, Ratchet."

"You're welcome."

I slid off the table and waited until I was out in the hall to do a little twirl, reveling in my renewed balance, the way my vision didn't swim, my new strength… I didn't even care that Knock Out saw me. I just grinned at the little mech and strode past him, feeling as emotionally galvanized as my body.

Hot Rod was touching the door pad just as I turned down the hall. I let my signature flare for a moment, and when he looked up he had the most sparkwarming expression of relief and love I'd ever seen. He left the door and came trotting down the hall, so I met him halfway. He grabbed me in a tight hug, bending so that the side of his face pressed against mine. Our sparks sang, making little attempted leaps against their casings.

"Never do that again," he whispered. "I will tie you up and throw you in the brig before I let you do something so stupid again."

"Love you too," I sighed. "Thanks for stopping Megatron before."

"We're just lucky Sunstreaker and Sides were there. I didn't even know they were behind me."

"You were going to take on Megatron and a Seeker by yourself?"

"I couldn't just let him have you and Sam."

Sam. He'd been unconscious the last time I'd seen him. "Is Sam ok?"

"The doctors in DC are taking care of him. He's still unconscious, but First Aid thinks it's something the Allspark is doing on purpose."

"Was he hurt?"

"Not as far as anyone can tell, but the Allspark works in mysterious ways. It must have a reason."

"You would know that better than me," I mumbled against his chest. "I'm tired, Hot Rod."

He gave me one last squeeze, then straightened up, taking my hand. "Good, so am I. I haven't been able to recharge since you left. It was like my wires were too juiced, no matter how exhausted I was."

My head tilted sideways just a tad. "Really? That's how I felt, minus the exhaustion part. I wonder if you were getting some of the side effects from the Allspark."

"Dunno. Doesn't really matter now, right? It's worn off, because I'm ready to drop."

"Ditto." I tugged him towards our quarters, though he didn't need the encouragement. He followed, shutting the door behind us while I claimed the side of the berth against the wall.

He slid onto the small space, slipping his arm under me and lifting me up until I was propped between him and the wall. The berth was too small, but neither of us complained. Deep down, I enjoyed being squashed against him. I recharged better, and it made me feel safer. Loved, even, because as we recharged our sparks were in constant communion.

Letting my body settle along his, I stretched an arm over his chest and he rested a hand under my wings. Our legs tangled slightly, and once again, as I had many times before, I thought about how anyone peeking in on us would see two lovers. True, my spark usually wanted to join his whenever we'd be apart for longer than usual, but it had never resembled its response to Dirge, for example. Or Skywarp.

With a tiny smile, I offlined my optics and let the joyful communication of our sparks lull me away.

* * *

"You'd think after having your spark twin abducted they'd give a day off," I grumbled as Hot Rod prepared for the morning.

"A Prime's work is never finished. Mostly miserable training activities too, 'busy work' that other mechs would rather be doing."

"Won't they give you a break?"

"Not likely. I'd do just about anything to get back to where I was, filling in for mechs, solo missions... Now I'm underground just about every day."

"Maybe I can beg and plead for Prowl to let you have a day off. I have a new toy," I said with a grin.

"Oh?"

"Mirage gave me a new hologram. At least I think he gave it to me, it's almost too good for me to keep just for fun… anyway, it a solid holomatter projector. You and I could go pretend to be human, get out, cause some trouble."

He smiled. "Maybe we can finally go to that amusement park like we planned all those years ago."

Jumping up, I grabbed both of Hot Rod's hands. "I forgot all about that! It would be great! I'll start whining as soon as possible."

He grinned, letting me playfully bounce his hands up and down. "You let me know how that works out."

"You'll be the first to know if I succeed, I'm sure," I said, giving him a quick hug. "I'm gonna go figure out just how well the Allspark fixed me up in the training room."

Hot Rod groaned. "Lucky."

"Sorry," I said apologetically. "At least you've got the prestige thing going for you."

"Much good that does me," he half-heartedly complained. "Ah well. I'll see you tonight."

"Yeah. Have a good day for me."

"I'll try to, honey," he said with a smile. We walked out of our quarters together and went different ways.

It really did bother me how unhappy he was with his position. There was no excitement, no exploration, no exhilaration. He'd gotten used to doing as he chose all those years searching for the Allspark, and now he was chained down. It was against his spirit.

Sideswipe and Sunny were just heading into the training room when I rounded the corner. Sunstreaker saw me and stopped, crossing his arms over his chest. Sideswipe, who'd gone through the door, poked his head back out and grinned.

"Well, well! If it isn't the heroine herself!"

"Aw shucks, Sideswipe," I said, heading down the hall. As good as I felt, Sideswipe didn't intimidate me. "I didn't know you looked up to me like that."

"I don't!" He said with a wicked grin. "You still ended up being the damsel in distress."

"I'll show you a damsel in distress!" I said with a grin. Without letting myself think about it I lunged at Sideswipe, knocking him off balance. He didn't fall, but he did stumble back into the training room. His arms clamped around me, and I knew by the sly grin he wore that he was going to take advantage of the situation. He hefted me enough to get my feet off the ground, but no matter how hard I squirmed his grip was solid.

The red mech carried me into the training zone. The computer gave it's usual warning, but we ignored it. Sunny was following behind, looking fairly skeptical. I was watching the yellow Lamborghini when Sideswipe dropped me without warning.

I tried to scramble away, but he crouched and snagged my calf, pulled me closer, laughing. I twisted and kicked him in the chest, but it hardly phased him. He grabbed the offending foot and managed to clamp them together in one hand.

The position we were in, a mech looming over me, my legs trapped in his hand and his other free hand going to grab my wrist… I may have freaked out a little. His smile froze and then turned to surprise when I shrieked, bursting my thrusters and kicking free from his loosened grip. Skidding several feet across the floor, I cut my engines and scrambled to my feet, intaking rapidly. My optics darted from Sideswipe to Sunstreaker, who were both confused and shocked.

"Uh… ah, I… sorry," I mumbled, crossing my arms.

"I was just playing," Sideswipe said faintly. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"Wasn't your fault, Sideswipe," I said, forcing a smile. My panic was already fading and I felt horribly silly for letting my memory of Dirge overlap onto the present. "I'm fine, really. Let's go again."

Sideswipe looked back at his brother. "I don't know."

"Come on!" I whined. "Or I might think you're just afraid to get whooped by girl."

"I could only call you a 'girl' if you weren't lacking even a modicum of femininity. You're too blunt, too pushy, too-"

"Too much for a big bad mech like you to handle?" I prodded.

"You have absolutely no clue how much you cannot handle _me_," Sideswipe said. "And after that little freak out, I'm thinking maybe I should just be the gentleman and give you this one."

I pouted. "You, a gentleman! Come on, Sideswipe, give me another chance."

"What do you think?" Sideswipe asked over his shoulder to look at Sunny, though it didn't seem like the red twin really needed his brother's opinion.

"I think you should avoid wrestling."

"I think your brother is right! Don't you use some big detachable swords?" I asked the red mech.

"You don't want me to use my swords on you," Sideswipe said with a smug smile.

Extending my knives, I found my center of balance and relaxed. "Come on, Sides. Let's play."

"With those little kitchen knives? Please."

Walking towards him calmly, deliberately, his rising uncertainty was clear even as his shoulders pulled back to try and hide it. "If I upset you Hot Rod will _never_ have anything to do with me."

That got me to pause. "What?"

"He's been refusing me," Sideswipe grumbled. The only two bots present were the ones who would know if he got with my brother either way, which was probably why he even said anything. "He doesn't want to upset you."

"He's downright decent," Sunstreaker said with amusement.

"As if you two really had to make such a big deal out of it," Sideswipe said, throwing up his hands. "I get Hot Rod, you get Bravura. How is that difficult?"

"His name is Rodimus Prime, and I don't _want_ Bravura!" Sunstreaker snapped. I didn't take it the wrong way: he liked me fine, he just didn't want into my berth.

I retracted my knives. Sideswipe had completely turned away from me, facing his brother. With a sigh I finished crossing the distance to the red bot. I reached up and touched his arm, grabbing his attention.

"Do you love him?" I asked quietly.

He stared at me so hard that it was difficult to return his gaze. "What difference would it make? He won't change his mind."

"Do you love him?" I repeated.

"What does it-"

"He does," Sunstreaker cut off his brother.

"Shut _up_," Sideswipe growled. "If she's gotta ask like that it probably means he doesn't have any feelings for me, so it's moot."

He was right. I hadn't noticed any longing, any feelings even remotely close to love from my brother except for what was directed at me in particular. I looked down, avoiding the twin's stare. He was hoping I'd deny it.

"That's it, huh?" Sideswipe asked weakly. "No reassuring me? Not even a maybe?"

"He's really busy," I mumbled. "Maybe he's just too tired from work."

Sideswipe sighed. "Doesn't matter."

"I'll talk to him," I offered.

"No!" Sunstreaker snapped, jumping up from the bench he'd been sitting on and coming between his twin me and. "Don't encourage them! You want things to go back to how it was when we met? I haven't forgotten the way you looked at me while they were interfacing. It makes us want to do things we would normally never even _consider_."

He had a point. Still, how could he stand to let Sideswipe be so miserable? Or maybe Sideswipe wasn't as miserable as he let on. Either way, it seemed a little selfish on Sunny's part.

"Why not try Forcia?" I asked Sunny suddenly.

"That frosty glitch? Frell no."

"What's so special about Arcee?" I pressed the yellow twin.

"Good question," Sideswipe agreed, maneuvering so that the two of us were facing his brother as a combined front.

"She's different," he grumbled. "I just…" he twitched. "I wanna see what it's like to have three femmes at once."

Sideswipe snorted. "Liar. You've got a thing for femmes with _problems_ and _baggage_ and she's got a freighter's worth."

"If I cared about baggage I'd be after the fraglet!" Sunstreaker snapped.

"Ouch, Sunny," I grumbled. Flinched, too, when Sideswipe threw an arm over my shoulders.

"Don't mind him, he just doesn't like getting called out."

He glanced down at me, did a double take at my uncomfortable expression, then grinned. "Come on. Let's not be shy."

"If she doesn't want you touching her, get off!" Sunstreaker burst out. I flinched again, tried to slide away from Sideswipe, but his fingers closed on my shoulder firmly.

"What's it to you, Sunny? You don't even want her."

"I know what you're doing, Sides, and it's not gonna work. Just leave her out of it."

"What's going on?" I asked weakly.

"Sunny thinks I'm trying to make him jealous." The red Lamborghini turned towards me, our bodies much too close for comfort. He caught my chin and bent slightly, our the proximity of his face to mine making me openly cringe. "Think it's working?" he whispered.

"Um," I responded just before Sunstreaker grabbed his brother and yanked him away. Sideswipe released me rather than dragging me with him, and the two commenced a rather frightening wrestling match. I left before I could see who won.

* * *

Before a few weeks ago I wasn't super crazy about IDW's transformers comics, but in the last few weeks I've read through most of them from infiltration through to AHM, and well… I'm kinda pissed I'm stuck with stupid movieverse now. **Sigh** but I'm seein' Brav through to her happy ending(s), so… Hmph.


	31. Chapter 31

Prowl and Red Alert were just getting energon cubes when I walked into the rec. hall. Recalling my promise to beg for a day off for my brother, I waited until they'd chosen a table to get my own cube and followed them. They weren't chatting, so I had nothing to interrupt.

"Good morning," I said quietly.

"Morning,"

"Good morning, Bravura."

Working up a smile, I gestured to a chair. "Mind if I join you?"

"Not at all," Prowl answered.

"Thanks," I said, sliding down and sitting on the edge of the chair rather than bother with pulling it in.

"Ratchet said your recovery is impressive," Red Alert said, looking over my upper body. It did seem like he was observing the difference in me from the shaking femme he'd known before and not just checking me out.

"It's an amazing feeling to be so stable again," I agreed. "How are things going here? Did anybody get hurt?"

"No losses on either side. Some damage, though I think Ironhide took the worst of it, and he left for the Lennox home last night. A few humans were pretty close to critical, but I understand that they are improving."

Nodding, I drained my energon partway and then begin to turn it from side to side, swishing it. The motion reminded me of something, but it escaped me.

"I have a request, Prowl," I said, looking at the SIC.

"Go ahead," he said kindly. Maybe he was in a good mood.

"Hot R- I mean, Rodimus has been working nonstop for a long time. I never get to spend any time with him, and he could really use a break. It's not like you all couldn't manage without him, you did just fine before, and… Well, can he get a few days off?"

Prowl listened carefully, then seemed to consider it a while.

"I agree that Rodimus is overworked. He's only just come into his position and he's not ready for the management aspects yet. I'll speak to Optimus about giving him a short break."

"Really?" I gasped. I'd been expecting some song and dance about how he was learning and he couldn't if he went running off whenever he pleased. "Thank you!" I gushed, knowing my delight was a little over the top but not caring.

"He deserves it. He never complains, and he gets the job done. He's going to turn out fine if we don't rein him in too hard." Prowl sounded pretty pleased with Hot Rod, which suited me just fine. As far as I was concerned Hot Rod was a top-rate mech.

"I hope Optimus agrees. Is there anything I can do here in the City to help? Clean, move something too heavy for the humans…"

"Red?" Prowl prompted, looking to the security director.

"She could help get the debris out of the halls. The humans are getting it piled together starting around 0800, but they'll need someone to move the loads."  
"I can handle that, no sweat," I said, grinning. It felt good knowing I'd be useful. I'd been floating on their hospitality so long.

* * *

"This sucks!" I complained to nobody in particular. I'd been moving crates of dust, rock and metal for about three hours and I was already tired of it. The crates weren't very heavy, I could carry two easily, just that there was very little stimulation, and I was getting dirty. The dust was starting to grind in my joints and I just wanted a shower.

I left another heavy box of metal outside the repair bay for Ratchet to pick through, then began my walk to the main entrance to dump the rocks outside. It took forever to take just one load of debris out, and I was beginning to wish my alt mode had wheels.

Since I was mostly focused on not stepping on anyone, I didn't see Mirage waiting down the hall.

"Let me take that for you," he offered.

"No, I've got it. Shouldn't you be recharging?"

"I got a few hours, but I'm on a schedule. Couldn't relax." He fell in next to me.

"Oh. What are you up to?"

"Looking for something I can do. The place looks awful."

"Yeah, it's pretty gross. You can help me lug crates if you want."

"Sure. Come on, let me take that. You shouldn't be carrying that when I'm empty handed."

Smiling, I sighed and let the Elite take the box. "So polite. It's not even heavy."

"It's the principle," he said with a wink.

"I wish you'd tell me how you do that," I sighed. I was still jealous of his ability to blink off just one optic.

"It's a secret. You'll have to figure it out on your own."

"Some teacher you are!" I grumbled, nudging his side with my elbow.

"Hey, I can't defend myself," he protested.

"You're the one who wanted the box!" I said with a laugh.

"Yeah, yeah… you seem happier," Mirage observed.

"Well, I can walk again. Do things. Red and Prowl never would've let me lug these things around before."

"That's all?"

Rubbing my helm awkwardly, and I stole a glance at the Elite. "Well… Skywarp got a word in edgewise with me. It went well."

"Oh. I see."

Glancing up at him, I could see that Mirage wasn't especially pleased, but he wasn't acting angry either. The guards stationed at the main entrance let us out without a fuss: I'd been passing through all morning.

"Mirage," I asked quietly, seriously, after the doors were sealed behind us. "Is the war here on Earth going to drag out like it has everywhere else?"

He gave that some thought before answering. "Unless for some reason Megatron dies, it could go until Earth is useless." He hesitated, glancing down at me. "We'll stay and fight as long as they do, but I doubt Megatron would go anywhere knowing there are two Primes to try and beat. It's a vicious circle."

"So… unless Megatron dies, there isn't a lot of hope for Earth?"

"Not really. They're bleeding the planet, even with all our patrols and surveillance and interference. I'm sorry I never told you. We're trying to stay positive for the humans."

Aside from being upset about the possible loss of everything that made my home beautiful, the news didn't bode well for my own future. Mirage didn't sound very convinced that Megatron's death would be happening any time soon, and that was probably the only thing that could bring Skywarp and me back together.

"I know you're all trying," I said quietly, wishing I had something to do with my hands to keep from clenching them into fists.

"We don't always win. We've lost before, and it's always hard."

"What do you do if you lose?"

"If there's anything worth saving, if they're responsible enough, we'll try to give them what the need to get off the planet. It's been done a few times. Some of them make it."

"You really think Earth will die?" I asked weakly. He didn't answer even after we reached the surface and he emptied the crate, so I pressed again. "Mirage? Why do you think Earth will die?"

"Optimus won't make any decisive moves. He keeps waiting for Megatron to change, to see a new path. As if some magical event will turn the war around."

"He'll just let it happen?" I asked, bewildered. That wasn't the way I'd read the Prime.

"He'll try to stop it, don't misunderstand that… He just won't take the final step, make the last word. He won't kill Megatron. Rumor has it they were raised together, and for a long time they were like brothers. It changed, though… Megatron wasn't satisfied with the balance, wanted to overturn everything and change the game, but Optimus didn't approve of his methods… thus the war began, or so they say. A domestic quarrel gone very wrong."

* * *

The humans quit clearing up at about at four, so Mirage and I hit the showers before going our separate ways. At first I just wandered the base aimlessly, but the longer I paced the halls the less satisfied I became. I wanted to fly, it was a niggling desire that tugged at me whenever I let my thoughts drift. Gears would be watching the entrance, so I might be able to get away with an exit.

He was indeed up there, browsing the Internet by his glazed expression. His optics focused as I approached.

"Didn't hear anything about you going out," he said.

"I didn't ask," I said with a shrug. "I just wanted to stretch my wings, get a little exercise." Grinning, I threw open my arms. "I'm fixed, Gears! I want to enjoy this!"

He eyed me cantankerously until a tiny smile twitched at his lips. "Yeah, I bet you're pretty happy. Ok, but don't go far. If you disappear I'll have to come up with a story about how one skinny femme overpowered me and escaped."

"Hey, I don't like the word 'escaped,' Gears. This is supposed to be home, not a holding facility."

"Eh, talk to the big guys about it. I'm just following orders. Be careful."

"Thanks Gears. I owe you one!" I raced for the opening, flinging myself through the hole and into open air before transforming and following the wind wherever it wanted to take me. After about an hour of flying I realized that the wind or my subconscious was taking me to Mexico, to the desert.

I arrived late in the evening. Everything was exactly the same, with the exception that the shelter was rustier than I'd last seen it. It was home. Smiling at our failed attempts at décor, I bent down and caressed a couple rocks in one of the piles. Home.

When I stood up and looked at the shelter I was greeted with the last thing in the world I'd expected to see. Skywarp was sitting inside, leaning out to watch me with the faintest smile.

"You're here," I whispered, my spark soaring and filling my voice with joy. I ran to him, throwing my arms around his neck while his long arms enveloped me in perfect safety. "_Skywarp._"

"I love you," he murmured. "I love you more than I've ever loved anything."

"I love you," I echoed, pulling away from him just enough to touch my forehead to his. When he was sitting I was just the slightest bit taller than him. His optics burned red hot into mine, the familiar intensity filling me with absolute peace even as it sent my spark into sputtering shivers.

"We don't have much time. A couple of hours, even if I push it. If we hurry, we can try."

"Try?" I asked distractedly, stroking along his shoulders. They were the epitome of perfection, the purple dark against the inky black of his exoskin in the dim valley.

"To sparkbond. I promised you, and I never did keep my promise."

I jerked back to get a better look, though his arms only let me go so far. My fingers tightened on his shoulders before reaching up to cup his face.

"Do you mean it?" I whispered. "You want me? You want to try?"

"I have always wanted you," he growled, his deep voice resonating. "I wanted to be sure you knew what you were asking for."

"I know what I asked. I still want you. I will love you until the day I die," I whispered.

"And I'll find a way to go on loving you after that," he whispered, completing the promise I'd made before he left me on Tricora.

We kissed again, his embrace loosening so that he could run his hands down my body, up my wings. I did the same to as much wing as I could reach, the twitches and then finally a tiny sigh of pleasure from my Seeker exhilarating me almost more than the feel of his mouth against mine, my glossa playing against his lips and the easy way he lifted me, hitching my legs around him as he turned us over, pressing my back into the smooth dirt. We'd combed the rocks away long ago.

"I'll never stop thanking Primus that you grew," he said with a smile, rubbing his thumb along the scuffs on my cheek. "It will make this easier. I'm going to lock with you, and then try the bond. The lock will keep us close even if we overload and make it that much more likely that we'll bond."

I'd read about that in the stacks upon stacks of datapads I'd laboriously and slowly pored through. My reading had never really become natural, not like English, but I could manage, given enough time and quiet.

Locking, which increases the tolerance of the partners to the energy exchange and thus increases the time their sparks remain together, was generally believed to be for the purpose of increasing the possibility of two things: bonding and conception. Bonds, being easier to obtain, often occurred without locking though they were greatly facilitated by them. Conception rarely happened without the lock, since the mech's contributing energy apparently played an important role in the formation of the new spark. Exceptions had been recorded, many of them in fact, but locking was the general method. Devcon's locking with me had always been a curiosity to me after discovering its uses. Asking him was too embarrassing, so I rather expected it to remain a mystery.

Since we were pressed for time and had no idea when we might meet again… this was the best chance we had. I was acutely aware that he didn't mention the reproductive aspect of the lock. Didn't matter.

"Would this be easier in space?" I asked nervously, the imminent and long awaited attempt suddenly daunting. He would have to hunch in order to lock with me and still maintain spark contact, which was difficult enough with his inflexible flyer's spine without throwing in the constraints of the shelter and the dirt beneath us.

"I want it to be here," he growled almost fiercely, reaching between my unresisting legs and removing my housing with careful tenderness. Always so gentle. His own housing joined mine just outside the shelter, spraying dirt when it landed. "This is our home. Ours alone."

Nodding agreement, I reached to the Seeker's chest, feeling along the seam of the cockpit there and releasing the frame, sliding it out of the way even as he lowered himself over me, lining his body up between my legs. Thankful for the fact that his waist was so much narrower than his shoulders, I hooked my legs back around him as I pressed the release to his chest cavity. The blue glow splashed against me, joined by my own spark's light as I opened my chest to his. He stared down at me, searching.

"You're sure? If it works, it's irreversible. You'll be bonded to a killer."

"Shut up, you big idiot," I said lovingly. "I know what you are. I love everything you are." Pausing, I corrected myself. "I mean, don't go on a killing spree for me or anything. But I love you unconditionally."

He bent down, pressing his helm to mine. "You're a fool and I will be forever grateful for it."

Grinning briefly, I tilted my head to kiss him as his hips lowered. Something pressed against me, moved slightly. With a jolt of pain I hadn't been expecting after my much more tame experience with Devcon, he clicked into me. My little jerk of surprise was quickly erased by the caress of energy he delivered, deliciously ablaze with his essence to the very edges of my extremities. I longed to return it, but there wasn't enough time to interface properly. This wasn't going to be what I'd imagined, but somehow I wasn't disappointed.

His lips left my mouth, slid along my cheek, denta gently nipping. Skywarp curled an arm underneath me, lifting me slightly, arching me as much as I could to ease the sparking. Before I had time to be nervous he pressed his face to my neck and lowered his chest to mine.

The initial contact obliterated our doubts. Not just mine, I could feel his dissolve as well. This was nothing like Dirge, nothing like the fearful pain of the first time or the submission and reluctance of the second. Our souls became one. Skywarp was fully aware me and of the comparison as I made it, yet he wasn't jealous. He knew this was better, this was right. This was what I wanted.

As soon as he truly understood the terror and despair that experience had given me he planned to kill Dirge, that too was clear to me, but at the same time he doubted his trine would let him.

He feared for me. Now that they knew about me and the three other femmes our lives would be complicated. We could never go anywhere unescorted, because Megatron very much wanted to obtain us.

He was certain that Megatron had lied about the caretaking. He'd just wanted my compliance in order to wheedle out information I didn't have. He had every intention of picking his favorite and throwing the others to the ranks. Images whirled through the connection, Skywarp and Thundercracker in a small dark room and agreeing on this probability completely.

He knew that I'd interfaced with Devcon and he didn't like it. He'd talk about it later. It was less important than his desire to sooth the worry, the uncertainty I'd suffered. The hatred I'd nursed on Predaca stung him, but just as everything else was shared, he understood how betrayed I'd felt.

He'd been trying to save someone. The Combaticons, a Decepticon combiner team, had begun their own little splinter faction, attracting a staggering number of followers, and they were rumored to be harboring a femme or two in their facilities. Being a member of Megatron's finest, he had to work for months to earn their trust. Ultimately the rumor had been false, and Skywarp left immediately.

I mostly forgave him. He mostly forgave me. We were both faintly aware of our bodies writhing and jerking in explosions of pleasure, but we'd transcended that somehow. We were a spiritual unit, perfectly in synch to each other, accepting and wanting and giving and taking what made us what who were, all without reservation or second thoughts.

He could feel the echo of Hot Rod as well as I could, was fascinated by the strength of the connection even as I was by his own brothers presence. In some ways it was stronger than mine to Hot Rod, but in others less… precise. His bond was a general reflection, repeated between his brother's bonds and amplified. Mine to my brother was purely powerful.

Starscream, whom I recognized because Skywarp did, was beyond fury. Thundercracker was disapproving but not overly critical. Their own sparks were being driven mad, they were looking for each other. When they found each other, they would join… That intuition was Skywarp's, not mine.

Skywarp was similarly engrossed in Hot Rod's reaction. My brother was shocked, surprised and a little angry at the intrusion of another mind behind mine but, bless him, happy for me. He was happy that I was happy even as his lust rose like a tidal wave. Sideswipe would get his way today.

Infinity stretched around us as our sparks continued to absorb everything they possibly could about the other. I could feel my body approaching overload even before Thundercracker and Starscream joined us. The explosion of sensation that was their sparking pushing through Skywarp's bond nearly threw me over the edge, but there was something holding me back. Hot Rod had somehow thrown his will into the connection, curse his control, and he was keeping me stable even as relief began to flood him. If I had to guess, he'd found Sideswipe.

Less than a minute later Sideswipe joined the ridiculous mental network that we were all experiencing. Sunstreaker was behind Sideswipe's consciousness, nearly as powerful as his brother's presence was as it echoed through Hot Rod. The Seekers were all amazed at the circus of sexual energy we'd started, the ballooning communal power bringing us all together in a wickedly fulfilling and imminent climax. Sunstreaker was alone, crushed beneath the weight of our combined minds.

Starscream didn't care about Sunny, and Skywarp was of much the same mind. Thundercracker pitied him. Hot Rod was intensely sorry, but Sideswipe was guiltier than I ever would've expected. He couldn't have known what he was getting them into.

The second aspect of my split consciousness, the physical part of me that was begging for release, wouldn't be denied any longer. I was the first to give in the demands of my body, dropping into the rushing rapids of energy and pulling first Skywarp, then Hot Rod with me. I was too far gone by then to know who succumbed after that, but the communion blurred into ecstasy before fading into soft, sweet darkness.

* * *

Hot Rod was the first to wake up. He came to his senses slowly, as if he had to struggle through an intangible shroud. As soon as he reached full consciousness, he wished he hadn't.

His mind felt shredded. Sleeping, quiet, unconscious minds lurked on the edge of his consciousness. Two were directly attached to him, the rest… It felt as if he were being stretched thin, pinned. One he had become familiar with, his sister… Even now she was giving off tiny ripples of peace, of a sense of rightness even though she was as far gone as everyone else.

Past her, beyond her somehow, another mind was linked to hers, and indirectly to Hot Rod's. Skywarp. Beyond him even more minds waited, echoed and confused in their multiple reflections…

The other mind directly attached to him could only be Sideswipe. The red mech was halfway beneath the Prime, though Hot Rod had slid to the side in his recharge. The impossible, the unexpected had happened… The intensity of six minds, seven if you included Sunstreaker, had forced bonds. Bravura would be thrilled, but Hot Rod didn't know if he would share the feeling.

He'd seen into Sideswipe soul, knew that the other mech, even younger than the Prime, had mixed feelings about him. He respected him in a professional sense and wanted him in the physical, but… Sideswipe had tentatively revealed that he thought he might be in love with Hot Rod. Hot Rod had been unable to return the feelings… It had never occurred to him to fall in love with Sideswipe.

The last time he'd been in love had been short lived. Mikaela had attracted him, had spent no small amount of time with him, but then she'd told him about her fiancé, acted as if she were unaware of the mech's interest.

Why would she be aware of it? The oddity of a mech having feelings for a tiny human had made Bravura nervous too, but… Bravura's fear had been one of indecision, not fear of Hot Rod in particular. She had often been paralyzed by the thought that she might make the wrong choice, even in her childhood…

Trying to ignore all of these minds was going to be a daunting task. He never ignored Bravura, always kept tabs on her emotional tides, but… What was his bond to three Decepticons going to do to him professionally? Should he tell Optimus? That was something he'd have to discuss with Sideswipe, because the poor bot beneath him was in the same fix. And if they were brother bonded, well… They'd better start working together.

Hot Rod was unwilling to let this go badly, even if it meant one of them changing their feelings. He just didn't see himself loving Sideswipe the way Sideswipe thought he might love Hot Rod, but… who knew what a bond would do to them?

Sunny, the only mind beyond Sideswipe, came to next. He was instantly full of dark rage and a painfully hopeless futility at his unfulfilled lust. He'd had no control, no idea what was happening, no outlet. He'd been the victim here, and if Hot Rod could do anything-

Sunstreaker's rage must have tripled as he became aware of the bonds, or maybe of Hot Rod's pity. His anger was new to Hot Rod, who so very rarely let himself get angry and even less often lost control. Bravura had gotten pretty worked up several times, but there was a masculine viciousness in the emotions Sunstreaker worked up. Sideswipe was a brave soul to face Sunny's wrath.

The Seekers, all three of them almost simultaneously, woke up next. Sideswipe and Bravura were the only ones left, but just beyond his sister's quiet mind Hot Rod could feel the intense protectiveness and relief and overwhelming love Skywarp experienced.

She was right about him. He loved her more than anybody would've believed… as much, if not more, than she loved him. The tenderness of emotion gave Hot Rod the imagery that the Seeker be holding her, watching her vulnerable and trusting form, shutting her chest for her and listening to her spark hum intermittently as it so often did in its recharge…

Sideswipe stirred beneath him and the bond bloomed with confusion.

"What…" the mech groaned, then gasped. Hot Rod surreptitiously watched the younger mech's expression change to one of disbelief before his optics met his new bond's.

"So many," he whispered. "So many past you."

"I know. It's kind of terrifying," Hot Rod whispered, shifting to give Sideswipe the option of moving if he chose. The Lamborghini didn't.

"You're not afraid at all," Sides said, reaching up and rubbing the Prime's shoulder. "You're amazingly calm about this... it's not something to take lightly, you know!"

"I'm just trying to put on a good show for the Seekers."

Sideswipe flinched. "She bonded us to a trine."

"Indirectly, but yeah, that's how I see it too."

"Not good, Roddy. Not good at all. How are me and Sunny supposed to go fighting mechs we're bonded too?"

"You'll just have to take a page out of Skywarp's book… do as little as you can get away with, and go easy on the ones you have to fight. It's just the command trine, you can still go crazy on Thrust's."

"Thank Primus she didn't fall in love with a Conehead," Sideswipe groaned.

They both quieted as Bravura's emotions stirred to life, brief confusion much like Sideswipe followed by the most explosive joy. Skywarp reflected it almost perfectly.

"Well, at least they're happy," Sideswipe sighed. Sunstreaker's smoldering anger was mollified significantly by the flood of pure bliss rushing to him from the femme.

"Think he'll be ok?" Hot Rod asked quietly.

"Sunny? Yeah… it's not good, what we just did to him, but… Well, I'll talk to him. Maybe when he warms up to you we can make things a little better for him."

"_If_ he warms up to me."

"He will," Sideswipe assured. "No matter how he acts, he respects that you're a Prime. He'll come around."

Hot Rod internally winced at the title. He hadn't looked, and Sideswipe hadn't offered when they were bonding, but Hot Rod wondered just how much becoming a Prime had affected Sideswipe's feelings for him. Well… there would be a next time to really look. They wouldn't have any secrets from now on.

* * *

I was gonna wait for an opinion before I posted this chapter, since what just happened is kind of a game changer... But I like it. If I'm not clear about what went down do let me know, I know it's kind of BUSY. Merry Christmas kiddos :)


	32. Chapter 32

I just discovered I forgot to save my A/N for this chap :\ Thanks to Ayngel for being patient with me and giving me tips. I tried to follow them, honest XD

* * *

Waking up was hard. It felt like somebody had put my processor in a taffy puller, and at first I couldn't figure out why, but then a warm body moved beneath me and it all came back. It wasn't my mind stretched out five different directions, they were other bots…

"Skywarp?" I whispered, realization starting to dawn in me. He was sitting upright, holding me against his chest.

"It worked," he whispered back, his arms tightening around me.

It worked! My laugh, almost a sob of joy, filled him with pride. Pulling myself up, I kissed my Seeker passionately, thrilling in the reciprocal joy he too was feeling.

"So perfect," I mumbled between kisses. "You're so perfect."

"You know" - my lips cut him off briefly – "that's not true…"

"Don't care! God, Warp. It worked! Nobody can ever come between us now!" I gave another delighted laugh, throwing my arms around his neck.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I know!" I laughed against his neck. "I know, and I love you too. Do you feel it?"

"I feel you," he said, rubbing my back. "I'm glad you're happy."

"Happy?!" I exploded, grabbing his face in my hands hand. His grip slid down to my waist, his smile perfectly matching mine. "I'm thrilled! This is… I've dreamed about this! Waited for this, chased you for this! This is all I ever wanted," I whispered, moving in and kissing him gently.

"You don't know what you want," he chided me. "You never wanted to see me again, on Predaca."

"I was drugged," I pouted. "I wasn't thinking straight, and I thought you weren't coming back. A couple months is not the same thing as nine, you know!"

"Sorry," he whispered before nuzzling my neck. I shivered, my intake catching. To be the object of affection of such a powerful creature would never cease to thrill me.

"It's ok," I managed to gasp as his glossa slid along a seam, brushing at a few exposed wires. "I'm sorry too."

"Devcon?" Skywarp asked, pulling up to look at me.

"Yeah, Warp… I don't really have much excuse, aside from being totally messed up between the energon and Hot Rod's interfacing. Really sorry."

"Just don't do it again," he growled possessively. I knew better than to be afraid when he tightened his grip around my waist. "You're all mine now. I won't share you."

"I don't want anybody but you," I said with equal ferocity. "You know that."

He nodded. "Still, I just… you're so young. Some day you might not feel the way you do now."

"Is this about what you did in the war?" I whispered. "I've killed mechs too."

"In defense," he corrected me. This wasn't something we'd shared in our bond, but he'd seen the miners in my standoff for Curia and Artemis.

"Still, there's blood… energon on my hands. Neither of us is perfect, k?"

"K," he sighed, and he actually did seem relieved.

For a few minutes we just bathed in each other's presence. He'd moved outside the shelter and we were under the stars. The sun had gone down at some point, and the desert was quickly becoming cold. I was perfectly content to be with my new bondmate, until something prodded through our perfect happiness.

Skywarp's brother bonds were difficult but not impossible to read in their multiple reflections. Starscream was beyond angry. He seemed like he was inches from killing someone, and judging by Thundercracker's grudgingly submissive attitude he was the one taking the brunt of it.

Hot Rod was contemplative, calm. Sideswipe, his bond much less obtrusive as it was indirect, was nervous but strangely pleased, and Sunny, even more faint, was bitter.

"God," I choked.

"Just now noticing them?" Skywarp chuckled.

"How the frag?" I controlled my urge to gasp for air. "Can you feel Hot Rod and the twins too?"

"Yes. I bet they can feel my trine as well."

"I didn't mean to do this to them," I whispered guiltily. "Warp, they're bonded to their enemies."

"It's going to make things interesting, but I'll appreciate it at least," the Seeker admitted. "Starscream will understand better now, I hope."

"Feels like he's going to blow something up," I grumbled, curling against my lover. His protectiveness was a salve on my fears, reinforcing my lately weakened belief in his love. I'd never been more happy to be wrong.

"He will, but when he calms down… maybe he'll see. Thundercracker will help."

"It's going to take work adjusting to all the noise," I said, looking up at the crimson optics.

"You get used to it… Though even I'm kind of overwhelmed. Your brother seems like a good mech."

"He really is," I sighed. "He didn't deserve to get saddled with me."

"He's lucky," Skywarp corrected. "I would've given anything to bond you from the start."

"We would've been twins," I said with a shrug.

"Speaking of relations… My brothers are your brothers now. You're a sister to the trine."

"I bet Starscream will beg to differ," I objected softly, stroking along Skywarp's helm.

"He won't hurt a bond," Skywarp assured me. "Not really, anyway. He won't put you in danger deliberately… not that he'll be any kinder."

"Do you consider Hot Rod your brother, then?"

Skywarp nodded. "Not like my trine, but still… extended family. A 'brother in law' might be a good term for it."

"Wonder what old Megatron would do if he knew…"

"He'd probably kill us all. Or maybe just you and me. Maybe just me, come to think of it. TC said he's been watching Ravage's footage of you."

"Creepy."

"Might have to do with how perfect you are, and how damaged you were. He probably wants to know why the Allspark would favor you as a protector and not someone like him. He was the Lord High Protector of Cybertron before the war."

"Maybe because I'm not a total nutjob," I said with a shrug.

"No, you're definitely crazy. You bonded me," Skywarp said, smiling.

"Well you married a crazy femme. Think you can handle me?"

He mumbled the word 'married' as he kissed me, and any playful banter I'd been planning disappeared from my thoughts.

_I love you,_ I sent through our touch. _Everything that's happened since that day you found me…_ I snorted, remembering his limp fake excuses for saving me. _Even if you were just saving me because I reminded you of Frequency… I'm glad it happened. I'm glad everything happened._

_ You know… if Frequency hadn't… if I didn't have to watch her die, feeling the way I did about her… I never would've become the mech I am now. Starscream did me a favor, I guess. Not killing her, but in opening my optics._

He was sad thinking about her, but not sorrowful. It was a faint tinge, not something I could be jealous of.

_I'm grateful to her,_ I said cautiously. _I would be dead if you didn't see her in me that night._

_ You're very different,_ Skywarp said. _You're trusting, where she…_ He squeezed me tightly and kissed my forehead. _Why are we talking about the past? We have a future now. I don't know when we can meet again, but now at least I'll know if you're safe. _He stood up, my weight nothing to him. _I'll take you home. I don't want the Coneheads to catch a whiff of you alone._

_ I made it here just fine._

_ Lucky you,_ he sent as he jumped into the air, his thrusters thunderous.

_I don't want to leave yet,_ I sent sadly. _I want this to last forever. Being with you, being here. Being happy._

_We _do_ have forever, now. Someday we'll get to enjoy it._

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hid my face against him even though he knew all to well just how unhappy I was about being separated from him. The cold numbness of his teleportation startled me. His rumbling laugh when we came back from wherever we'd gone was enough to lift my spirits.

He'd warped in right over the mesa. He landed quickly, setting me to my feet. He knelt, gave me a fierce and passionate kiss, a rush of love, then leapt off the mesa and disappeared with a boom just as three small forms flipped from the hole in the mesa to the roof.

The three forms, Arcee if I had to guess, scanned the whole area then trained her optics on me.

"Gears said you'd be coming back. He didn't say anything about overgrown buzzards coming with you."

"He didn't give me the option," I said in a happy daze. "He just took me home. It's ok. He's not bad, Arcee."

The tripartite froze, then the red center one, rolled forward towards me.

"You're an idiot," she snarled. "He's a _Seeker._ He kills for Megatron! He's a murderer! I have personally seen that Seeker in particular laugh his head off while picking off helpless neutrals. You're in love with a sick, murdering son of a psychopath!"

Crossing my arms over my chest and the spark which had so recently been joined to his, I only frowned. "I know what he was."

"You know what he is, you stupid human! But you don't understand!" She glared at me, then gestured for me to bend down. "Get down here. I'm going to show you just what it is you've been mooning over." When I hesitated she made a frustrated buzz. "Get down here!"

I settled to the floor, folding my legs beneath me. I passively allowed the femme to open my wrists and plug into me, but I wasn't prepared for what she streamed to me.

It was a memory feed. It played out in crystal clarity, the image jerking about as she tried to take in the madness of her surroundings. She was behind a low wall of twisted metal, but she could hear the Decepticons coming.

_Arcee flinched when she heard the first scream. She'd been hoping they wouldn't find the safe room, that the little cell full of innocent neutrals might somehow survive… She longed to run in, to at least give them a chance, but for what? She'd only get herself killed for nothing, because as soon as they were done carving her up they'd turn their abilities back to killing the last survivors on the moon colony._

_ A deep laugh rose over the screams. She twisted, peeked over the wall just long enough to see the bastard Skywarp rip the spark out of a mech's chest while his mate shrieked in agony, her sparkbond to him severed. Her pain was short lived, because Thundercracker shot her dead. Skywarp frowned as he threw the dying mech's body to the metal floor._

_ "What was that?" the black tetrajet complained. "You're not acting right. You used to be even worse than me. Remember that femme we stuck over the Nemesis's engines?"_

_ "Yeah, I do," the blue Seeker said coolly. "I just didn't feel like listening to the screaming this time."_

_ The wailing inside the skeleton of the building was soft, hopeless now. Skywarp shrugged and shot a few rounds into the room, likely killing a few and forcing several to try and run. He grabbed two and slammed them together until their heads dangled by mere wires._

"Enough!" I gasped, ripping her wiring from my wrist. I slumped over her, my body shuddering. It had felt real, like I was there instead of Arcee. "Enough."

She stared up at me, gauging my reaction. "Do you see now?"

"I see," I said, nodding. But… that couldn't be… the mech I'd just bonded. He was full of love and worry and a desire to do _right_. How could the Skywarp I knew be so different from the Skywarp she'd seen?

"Good." She didn't stop me when I stood up and went down into the city, swinging through the hole in the mesa and landing with the sharp smack of supports. Revulsion warred with disbelief and the beginnings of what felt very much like shock. I didn't understand…

Jolt saw me walking the halls, my little stumble and my pause to lean against the wall.

"Bravura?" he asked, leaning in to look at my optics. "Are you ok?"

"Need to lie down," I answered weakly. "Need Hot Rod."

"Ah… do you want help? What happened?"

"Arcee showed me a memory from the war," I answered honestly. Shuddering, I left the wall and began to walk for the mech quarters. Jolt followed me to the door.

"You're sure you're ok?" he asked.

Nodding, I waited until he was leaving to shove the door open. Hot Rod wasn't there. I didn't have to look long, because my state of shock had him worried. He rounded the corner, Sideswipe following close behind.

"Bravura!" he exclaimed. "Arcee reported an incident with Skywarp. You seemed fine, then…" he trailed off as he watched and felt me crumple.

Sideswipe was actually the one who caught me, rolling past my brother and slipping his arms under mine.

"What happened?" he asked tenderly. The shock of his concern was almost enough to snap me out of it, but not quite. Hot Rod followed, taking me from Sideswipe and lifting me up.

"Come on… your quarters are closer, Sides."

They moved down the hall silently, but I knew they were listening to my bewildered disgust. When Sideswipe let us in Hot Rod went straight to the berth and sat, keeping me in his lap. Sideswipe sat close to us, laying a hand on my back.

"You can tell us, honey," my brother whispered softly.

"Arcee, she showed me a memory. Of Skywarp." I saw the look Hot Rod exchanged with Sideswipe, but I ignored it. "He was horrible."

"Bravura…" my brother sighed then continued. "You knew what he did. What he is."

"She was right, though. I didn't understand, Hot Rod!"

Skywarp could feel my rising disgust, was confused by it and by my sudden withdrawal from the joy we'd been sharing. It made me feel horrible, cruel, but… the same laugh he'd used to throw Ramjet off our trail, he'd used it while he killed those bots…

I realized I'd been talking out loud when Hot Rod stroked my cheek, silencing me.

"He loves you. We both felt it… All three of us."

"I'm sorry, Sideswipe!" I sobbed suddenly, looking at the surprised red bot. "I didn't mean to get you involved, or Sunny… You're bonded to _them_ now."

"I'm bonded to Rodimus." He rubbed my back. "And you, next. I barely feel the trine, really. It's not so bad."

"But it is," I whispered. "He…" shuddering, I found that I had no words to describe the sickness I was feeling. I didn't need to, they felt it too.

Sideswipe leaned in, hugging me. Hot Rod circled his arms around us, and for once I didn't feel nervous with Sideswipe, though this was by far the most potentially awkward situation we'd ever been in.

There was a knock on the door. Sideswipe sighed and went to it, blocking whoever was there from view only for a moment before letting his twin in.

"What's going on?" Sunny asked. "One second she's happy enough to make me sick, and now she's the sick one."

"Arcee showed her something Skywarp did."

"Oh. What exactly?" he asked me.

"He ripped a mech's spark out and laughed… the mech's mate was there, and TC put her out of her misery… Skywarp, he… wanted to know why TC did it so quick. Said something about strapping a femme to a ship's engines…"

"That's a Decepticon for you." Sunstreaker sat down where Sideswipe had been, so his red twin took Hot Rod's other side.

"Why did she show me?" I asked plaintively.

"Because you should know," the yellow twin answered. "Seekers, and Starscream especially, are the reason she's the way she is. She probably doesn't want you to get trapped with something like them."

"Too late." My words immediately appalled me. It was Skywarp, for Christ's sake! The mech I'd loved for six years, the mech who'd saved my life on numerous occasions, who'd proved it to me in the purest way he could… my lover, the murderer. But it wasn't like he'd tried to hide it from me. He'd told me so many times that he had a bad history… and I'd said I forgave him. "God, I hate her."

Hot Rod rubbed my shoulder gently, soothingly. He couldn't do anything about my state of mind but be there for me, and apparently the twins were going to help. We all sat in silence until I calmed down, then Hot Rod stood up, letting me slide to my feet.

"Good night, you two."

"Good night, Rodimus," Sideswipe said wistfully. "Bravura," he added as an afterthought.

"Night," his brother grunted.

We weren't far down the hall when Sideswipe came out of his room and ran up behind us. Hot Rod turned, but I just leaned against the wall facing the other way.

"Rodimus, I… was going to ask… frag, why is this so hard?"

"What is it?" my brother asked with perfect patience.

"I… do… will you stay in my quarters tonight? Sunny already said he'd stay with Bravura if she didn't want to be alone."

We both felt Hot Rod's surprise, then his consternation. "It's not a good time, Sides."

"It's ok if you want to, Rod," I mumbled. "I'm perfectly fine, just… I'm fine. I'll go bother Sunny til I fall asleep."

"Honey, no, don't feel like you have to do that."

"It's ok, bro. Sideswipe wants to be with his new bond, and I… just need company."

Uncertainty and finally acceptance came through from my brother, as well as Sideswipe's relief at not being rejected. I turned and gave my brother a quick hug from the side, then went back to Sideswipe's quarters, rushing to give them their space. Sunny was waiting outside.

"My place?" he asked casually. I nodded and we made the short walk to his small room. The twins didn't bunk together like I'd imagined they would. The hologram of him with his brother was on the wall, but other than that the room was sparse. A metal crate was under the berth, probably containing the rest of his possessions.

"Do you hate me?" I asked when the door shut behind him. I didn't want to sit on his berth, but I didn't have anywhere else to go, so I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room.

"Does it feel like I hate you?" he asked, his voice low.

"No… but I wouldn't hold it against you if you decided to."

He gave me a look, and I realized I'd just given him fodder for a bad joke. He didn't use it, just went and stretched out on his berth. "Not going to. I really _really _wish you hadn't bonded a trine, but… it's better than if Sides had bonded somebody other than your brother. You're there too, and I… guess we're…"

He ground to a halt, so I tentatively finished his sentence. "Friends?"

"Yeah," he said with a shrug. "I'm going to recharge, but if you want to stand there in the middle of the room all night that's fine."

I caught myself looking up and down the shining yellow body before jerking my gaze back to his optics.

"You're sure you don't mind? I can go sleep in my own quarters."

"Don't be embarrassed," he said, sliding to his side and pressing his back to the wall. The strip of berth would just be enough if I didn't plan on moving all night.

"I'm not!" I lied. "Just don't wanna ruin your recharge."

"You standing there fidgeting is ruining my recharge. Get over here and relax."

Obeying, I awkwardly slid onto the berth, trying not to touch the Lamborghini as I figured out how to arrange myself without falling over the edge. His arm came over me, hooking around me and pulling me the few inches closer, flush against his chest. I lifted my head to look at him, and while I did he stuck his forearm under my head, his own helm resting on the upper.

"Relax," he mumbled.

It was a double-edged comfort that Skywarp was tentatively sending feelings of love and concern through our bond. I knew it was for me, because it was the same kind of love from the valley. I tried to return it, but my own emotions were a pale and conflicted shadow.

I tried hard to follow Sunny's order. He didn't move, didn't give me any reason to think this was anything but a sleeping arrangement. He seemed asleep, his systems quiet, but he was definitely awake. Once I allowed myself to do as he said and relax, I began to appreciate the company. He wasn't Hot Rod, but it was better than being alone to digest the mech Skywarp had once been. Falling into recharge was much easier to do with a (relatively) friendly presence against my back.

* * *

Didn't last long, though. I woke up, intaking hard as my spark fluttered in its casing. Sunstreaker jerked awake behind me, reflex bringing his knee up as if to stand. It almost knocked me off, but his arm tightened around me and the only thing keeping me from half sliding off the berth was his ankle hooked around mine. He carefully pulled me back on, but I was less concerned with falling and more worried by the burning of my wiring as Hot Rod interfaced with Sideswipe.

Twisting, I looked at the twin behind me. My upper body slid slightly against his and I whimpered at the sensation. His optics, which had been staring straight up, twitched down to me. Our gazes locked and I felt him intake sharply. The feel of his body as it jerked in response to our mutual need was sensual all by itself.

Handsome, strong… indirectly bonded to me… I could feel how uncomfortable the thwarted interfacing made him, how it was exactly what I was going through. Our faces came closer, I turned over more, facilitated by his steadying hand on my hip. My exoskin was ablaze everywhere that palm dragged.

Our lips met slowly, hesitantly, but then both of us lost sight of what in the hell we were doing and the arm that had been my pillow snapped around me, grabbing roughly onto my wing while the other felt up from my hip along my waist. I was holding on to the back of his helm and touching his chest and kissing him just as passionately as he was kissing me.

Except… there was… growing betrayal, disbelief…

As soon as I realized what I was feeling, I jerked away from Sunstreaker's inviting mouth, slamming both palms against his chest and consequently throwing myself to the floor. The harsh landing did nothing to help my burning desire, but it certainly hurt.

"Skywarp. I can't do this to Skywarp," I choked up at the yellow Lamborghini.

"We're bonds," he growled.

"Not as closely as I am to Skywarp. I can't, Sunny!"

He stared at me, the ice in his optics belying the fire I knew pulsed through him. He absently rubbed his wrists before speaking. "As much as I hate to say this, I am sick of being the odd one out," Sunstreaker growled, sitting up and looming over me. "The bonding was _torture_, Bravura. And you want me to go through it again, and again and _again!_ Skywarp can have your love, but frag it all, I just want your body under mine this time!"

This wasn't Sunny, this was the stress from the bonding talking. He hadn't been this way on the Trion when we'd undergone this same thing, he'd been the one to rebuff me, though I'd only looked at him.

Skywarp's sense of betrayal had abated slightly, probably as he made my excuses for me… God… I rubbed at my wrist ports much the way Sunny had. They were burning with all the residual fire and none of the pleasure of an interface.

"Fraglet," Sunstreaker growled, sliding off the berth and resting on his knees over me. "We're already more or less bonded. He's a Seeker. He knows what bond politics are. I'm here, he's not. We're both in the same tight spot, and I'll be damned if I spend another sleepless night because Sideswipe has better luck than me. It's just an interface, that's all. I'm not asking for you to care about it, just frag me." His voice dropped low, an enticing tone I'd never heard him use before. "We both need this." He leaned forward, his hands snaking for my wings again. I shivered, twitched slightly when pleasure leapt through me.

My optics raked up from his gleaming thighs, his housing, to his chest and shoulders. My own chest let out a whine and I slid from my half sitting position on my hip up to my knees. I was still upset about the memory, Arcee's experience… that laugh… I shuddered, revulsion threatening to break my concentration from the mech before me. I wasn't sure which was worse. Even despite my disillusionment, I couldn't help but worry that I was about to do something horrible to the mech I'd just claimed to love beyond anything else. I could almost, but not quite, use my disappointment as an excuse. Nearly…

Sunstreaker managed to turn my attention back to him by digging his fingers along the edge of my wing, forcing me to twist weakly under his apparently skilled ministrations. I leaned towards the yellow mech, knowing my optics were dim with pleasure.

"What if he's jealous?" I whispered nervously even as my hand reached up without my conscious direction, stroking along the shiny yellow chassis. I'd once been repulsed by this mech, his awareness of his own good looks… He wasn't that bad, not really. So inviting, in a dangerous kind of way. My body wanted to rise to the challenge, to see what he could do.

Come into my web, said the spider to the fly…

"What's he going to do about it?" Sunstreaker challenged. "One of the things about bonds, you can't take them back. He'll forgive you."

"Hypocrite," I whispered.

Sunstreaker didn't let me protest again, though I wasn't quite sure if I was going to at that point anyway. He bent and kissed me hard, almost violently, stroking roughly down both my wings and earning a rather too vocal moan from me.

"Shh," he whispered even as he continued to give me a 'wingjob'. I grinned angrily at my terminology, and that seemed to be the point that I gave into the sizzling of my body and let Sunny ease me onto my back on the floor. It was all too easy to let my body overwhelm my mind and briefly forget what my excuse for _not_ wanting to sleep with Sunny could possibly be.

* * *

Coming to my senses, my side against the cold floor and the rest of me draped over a warm chest, I felt sick before I knew why. Sunny woke as I pulled my cables from his wrist, but he didn't say anything or try to stop me when I left him on the floor to stalk down the halls.

_I'm sorry,_ I thought furiously through my bond to Warp. He wouldn't hear, but maybe he'd feel my remorse. _I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. _He was so angry with me, so betrayed… Starscream was relishing the turn of events, but Thundercracker was in disbelief. So was I.

My horror was rising in rapid and uneven increments. I'd cheated on Skywarp mere hours after we'd bonded. I'd cheated on Skywarp again. I was a whore, an unfaithful miserable _creature_. Who was I to judge his past, the cruel mech who tore that mech's spark out? How was I any better?

Breaking into a run, I charged down the empty halls, heading for the main entrance. I knew one of the guards, Shiloh, and he let me out without asking any questions.

Arcee reported my fleeing, I heard her over the comm. Prowl demanded that I come back to base, but I only responded by shutting off the frequency. I had to apologize to Warp. I wanted to climb to the edge of the atmosphere and then let myself smash into the dirt, too, but I wasn't quite suicidal enough for that yet. I needed to see my Seeker, to let him take out his inevitable anger on me. I _wanted_ him to be angry with me. I wanted someone to tell me that I was wrong, what I'd done was wrong…

I angled for Mexico, my mind working madly to think of a way to make him know I wanted him to find me. Resisting the urge to just scream to him on the Decepticon frequency for all to hear, I simply tried to get him to understand by willing him to see me. He was withdrawn, all dark anger and hurt, and I was sure he wasn't paying attention to me. I had the faintest feeling that Thundercracker was, though.

The blue Seeker crossed my path just as I crossed the border to Mexico. He came in fast, almost too fast for atmospheric flight. Without asking questions, I angled up and began to climb for orbit. Thundercracker blasted past me and waited until I caught up in orbit over the planet.

I transformed and waited. He flew to me, grabbing me roughly and letting us spin end over end. The world flew around us several times before we settled into a slow spin.

_What did you do?_ He asked fiercely.

_Interfaced with Sunny,_ I answered dully. _Arcee showed me a memory of Skywarp killing some neutrals, having a great time… and Sideswipe wanted to be with Hot Rod. I didn't wanna be alone, and it was fine until, Hot Rod and Sides started interfacing. I woke up, and he was right there, and…_

Thundercracker slapped me. Not as hard as Dirge had once, but it was jarring and painful. The memory of Dirge's first assault, all too similar to the scene I found myself in, shuddered through me and I nearly panicked, but then Thundercracker spoke again and distracted me.

_He trusted you!_ TC's mental voice roared. _He finally got to bond you and you had to parade your promiscuity in his face!_

_I'm sorry,_ I sent honestly, bitterly.

_Doesn't matter,_ my lover's brother snapped. _You cheated on him. Isn't that what you humans call it? You can't hide from your bonds, Bravura! You can't lie to them! _

_I know, _I mumbled in defeat.

I could feel just how angry TC was with me, but it was in defense of his brother. It was really good of him, right of him. He should've hit me harder.

_Do you _like_ this?! _Thundercracker hissed, his grip on my arms painfully tight._ Did you want attention? Do you thrive on conflict?_

_No, _I answered, my tone still flat. _I'm just glad somebody isn't afraid to tell me I was wrong._

I felt the frustrated growl through his grip on me, but I didn't hear a thing. _He loves you, you fool. You're killing him!_

_ I watched him beat two mechs together until their heads hung by wires._

TC pulled back slightly.

_That's why you slept with the twin? Because you saw something you didn't like?_

_ No. It just… shocked me. I didn't want to hurt him, Thunder. I really didn't._

He studied my remorse, my self-hatred. I could see his body relax as he gave me that small concession.

_You owe him one, femme. He trusted you._

_ Can you ask him to come? I want to see him._

He stared at me. I wasn't sure if he was doing as I asked until he shook his head.

_He won't come. He's still too mad._

I wilted, my legs pulling up slightly beneath me. The world rolled above us again and I glanced at it, the beauty of it. He was down there somewhere, so close, but if he didn't want to see me…

_Can I have the codes to the trine link? _I asked numbly.

_No._ He loosened his grip on me. _Not because I don't want to give them to you, but because Starscream would be furious. Maybe Warp would be, too. Next time you see Warp, ask to make a private link. Until then… you'll just have to wait for him to get over it._

_What if he never wants to see me again, TC?_ I said, still watching the Earth as it disappeared over his shoulder.

_He will… when he has time to think about it. He really loves you, and when he lets himself see how horrible you feel about it… He'll forgive you eventually._

_I messed up bad._

_Well… to your credit, from what I felt of those two interfacing it's no wonder you got carried away. He'll understand eventually, he's been the third wheel before too._

I nodded, trying to absorb the reassurance. _Just please tell him I'm unbelievably sorry._

_He'll know soon enough. Time, Bravura. But if I were you, I wouldn't even _think_ about doing it again. I'll do worse than a little slap next time._

_ Thanks for coming, TC,_ I said. I wasn't afraid of what he could do to me, because I didn't intend to betray Skywarp's trust ever again… Sunstreaker be damned.

* * *

*evil chuckle*


	33. Chapter 33

*cocks eyebrow, then guffaws* I've gotten two reviews now that warn me that Bravura has 'become' a Mary Sue.

Dudes. She has always been a Mary Sue. Tell me howin'ell she wasn't? The first chapter of FI has an intro that details the story as a sort of monologue journally type thing, she's getting chased, she's a rape victim who knows a martial art, and she gets amnesia whilst getting saved by a Seeker! In chapter _**1**_! come on, now, don't waste my time with mary sue accusations. She always has been, always will be. If you're only now realizing this, I have no pity whatsoever.

For everyone who knows and doesn't care, here you go : ) I mostly updated just to get out my 'how could you not see it?' frustration, so it's short, basically what I had written at the time. OE has gone from bein' fluffy and happy to a pity party, while ODL is looking up. I don't ever write what I plan to write '_'

* * *

Arcee held me at gunpoint when I came back. I just stood there, waiting for the others to come and take over the situation. Hot Rod and Prowl had the pleasure. The SIC snapped cuffs on me, while Hot Rod looked rather embarrassed. He knew why I'd run away.

Next, they put me in the brig. I was to await an inspection by Ratchet, to see if I'd somehow shorted something or if I was unconsciously acting under the directives of a virus that had managed to evade his detection the first time.

Didn't really care, though. I didn't even look up when Mirage materialized in on the other side of the bars on my cell.

"Bravura?" he tried tentatively. When I didn't moved, didn't offer any sort of recognition, he sighed. "I know I'm missing something, but whatever happened… If you want to talk about it…"

He waited for me to say something, but I didn't it. I played deaf and dumb, and after a few minutes he shook his head.

"Hot Rod told me you wanted to go that amusement park we never got to try. When you get out of here, I'll talk to him and try to get our schedules to match up."

Why the hell would I care about an amusement park? I reserved this question to my own thoughts, though, just let my optics meet his.

"Good night, Mirage," I finally said, my voice flat.

He looked stung, but he returned the goodbye and left.

* * *

"She's clean," Ratchet said to Optimus, who was waiting with arms crossed. "I can't understand it."

I'd already sat up from the table, arms crossed severely, protectively. I glanced from the medic to the Prime and back down again.

"Has anyone asked you why, Bravura?" The red and blue mech asked quietly.

"Not yet."

"Then what possessed you to go flying off into orbit, directly disobeying Prowl's orders to return?"

"I'm not interested in the chain of command," I mumbled, dodging the question.

"Why did you do it?" The Prime pressed again.

"Why does it have to be your business?" I asked crisply. "I didn't do anything wrong, I'm not buggy… and I'd have no reason to betray you. My spark twin lives here. Artemis lives here."

"I just want to understand," Optimus said carefully. "If there's something down here causing you to feel trapped, we can work to improve the situation."

I knew he was just trying to smooth things out. He didn't suspect me of being a traitor, he was being kind, and yet… I didn't see what he could possibly do for me.

"I always mess up," I finally said. "I ruin everything. I get myself hurt, I get others hurt. I can't seem to go two days without being responsible for some kind of disaster."

"You're sulking because you've got a little bad luck? Honestly," Ratchet huffed.

"That's not _why!"_ I snapped, half sliding from the berth before I caught my anger and reined it in. I slid awkwardly to the floor, immediately penitent.

"We don't have all day for you to work up the courage, Bravura!" Ratchet growled. "If something's going wrong, tell us and we'll get it sorted out. Is someone bothering you?"

"Yes!" I snarled. "Arcee showed me a file where Skywarp brutally murdered some innocent neutrals. Then Hot Rod-" I stopped short. What if he wanted his relationship with Sides to remain a secret? "Is making things difficult," I finally continued. Not that the difficulty he'd imposed on me wasn't a direct result of my own actions or anything… "I was upset, stressed out. I wanted to see Warp, but he wouldn't listen."

Optimus didn't seem very impressed, but he didn't insult me. "Your behavior was erratic. It had the entire City on edge, and it cannot become the model for your behavior. You're grounded to the brig for two days, Bravura."

I didn't argue. When Prowl came to take me back below, I held out my hands expectantly. He only gave me a look and touched my upper arm, leading me from the repair bay. No cuffs, but they we're clipping my wings all the same.

* * *

If you've got a problem with Bravura's sueness NOW, after reading the (at least) 300k words the two stories have grown into, I'm not writing for you. I've said it many times. Boohoo. I like writing all this crazy nutty shit, if you don't like reading it go find some canon fluff to chew on.

^^^ This, children, is what not to do when a dense reviewer leaves a review without a reply link.


	34. Chapter 34

Sorry guys, it's short. I know it's been forever, but holy Toledo, have I been busy… if you're keeping up with ODL you know there's something big coming up in this story, but not in this chapter. I could've waited to post a longer one, but I wanted to make sure you don't forget me. Arcee will hopefully receive a little understanding in this chap : )

* * *

Arcee stared at the hole in the deck wall, out the viewing wall and down at the floor. She couldn't decide if she was pleased or disgusted. She'd shown that femme a horrible memory, one that made the tripartite flinch even now, and within the space of a few hours that idiot Cessna had gone flying after the featured murderer in the memory. She'd even had the nerve to come back.

Served the glitch right she was locked up. Maybe all that time to reflect would snap her out of it, or maybe Ratchet would find the logic circuits she'd undoubtedly fried. Arcee simply couldn't comprehend how anyone could look at a Seeker and not feel equal parts fear and loathing, if not one or the other unpolluted.

Starscream was more or less directly responsible for Arcee's current state. He was the one who'd given her the choice, grinning like the slimy bastard he was, between killing him or trying to save all those sparklings in the hospice.

_"I've already issued the order, Autobot. Leave now and you might save them. Or stay and try to kill me. I might be damaged but I'm not done yet."_

She'd chosen the sparklings, but all she'd succeeded in was getting herself caught in the blast. He hadn't told her how soon it would blow, bastard. The off duty medics, the ones who'd been in the dormitory or the labs, had come when the Decepticons left. They'd found her, the pieces of her. If they'd left her she might've died, but their cursed oaths to preserve life meant they had to try.

They'd done it, and in all honesty they'd done a beautiful job. Each body, a piece of her old one, was fully transformable, fully functional… Still, one mind occupying three spaces was an insult to Primus. She wasn't as she'd been born, a child of the Allspark, and yet she lived. She knew she shouldn't brood, shouldn't let herself dwell on the past or on the imperfections nobody understood, but she couldn't help it. She was too angry, so alone.

Springer came to the City sometimes, and she had to scramble to get out of there before he could lay optics on the freak she'd become. She longed to face him, to let him smooth everything away the way he'd once been able to do so easily… But she was so ashamed.

And that damned femme, who at least had been crippled on arrival, was now so fragging _perfect_, she could have anyone! Well, maybe not anyone. Her constant lunacy wouldn't sit well with most of the mechs… She'd put Prowl's logic processor out in twenty-four hours or less. The fact that she'd somehow caught the Elite's attention was irritating, since Arcee'd always been a little jealous of them as a whole when she was a youngling.

The interest in the upper class had grown when she'd met Moonracer after joining the Autobots. Both of them were green, inexperienced and brimming with potential, but they'd overcome all their obstacles together, and they'd been close. So close they'd formed a sister bond. Moonracer had died about a vorn after that, and it still hurt if Arcee let herself think about the femme.

Springer had come into Arcee's life not long after and he'd been perfectly understanding. With his help, and sometimes the help of his friend, then Hot Rod, he'd helped her get over the loss and move on. She'd fallen in love with him so easily, so naturally, that at first she didn't realize it had happened. It was right to think about Springer in relation to most things she confronted, to look to him when she triumphed and failed. He intuitively felt her joy and her pain and gave it a new light.

Then they'd heard about the ejection of the Allspark. Arcee was already used to running, to hiding, so making the step and joining the ranks of the bots willing to strike it out alone to look for it was simple. It never occurred to Arcee that the search would go on and on and _on_, that she would be separated from Springer for so long.

She doubted anybody had thought it would take so long and yet prove so fruitless, so useless. The Allspark existed now in the body of a weak fleshling. At least it was the will of the Allspark.

Arcee wondered if anyone less than a Prime could survive being host to two distinct personalities. Had anybot but Rodimus or perhaps Optimus tried to save that idiot femme, would they be alive now? The younger Prime clearly loved his little leech, his 'sister,' but Arcee couldn't quite stomach the femme. She was stupid and thoughtless and she seemed to be adept at ruining the lives of every mech who got close to her.

Granted, Arcee wasn't perfect either, but at least she _tried_ to stay out of everyone's way.

Sunstreaker's arrival snapped her out of her thoughts. She turned one pair of optics from the floor to him, crossing her arms.

"What do you want?"

"Why did you show her that memory?"

"She already managed to get that one around? Well, she's good, I'll give her that. Did she go door to door?"

Sunstreaker shook his head. "It's you're fault she's in trouble now."

Arcee threw up all three sets of hands. "Come on, she's a big bot. If she can't handle the truth she shouldn't be running with mechs like them."

"It's more complicated than that," the Lamborghini said, towering over the little tripartite.

"In what way?" Arcee poked. "You love her along with the rest of the slavering mass?"

"I understand her," Sunstreaker answered. Arcee got the impression that answer meant more than she understood it to.

"Ok, explain it to me, Sunny. And sit down, for Primus' sake…"

The yellow mech did lower himself to the ground, but he stayed a respectful distance from her. Ever since she'd put her gun in his face for getting too friendly his attitude had improved. She'd rather expected him to give up altogether.

"Sidewipe's told me about her, stuff Rodimus told him. The first time she met a Decepticon, she was human. He crushed her parents in front of her, and she ended up ruining her life after. She took it bad, but then she met Skywarp when he scared some humans who were holding her prisoner."

"And that matters because…?"

"She already knows what a Decepticon is. She doesn't need reminding, but Skywarp's not the same mech he was early in the war. He's done things for her that defy logic, at least if you think he's still the mech who used to leave the bodies of the bots he killed… posed everywhere."

Arcee flinched. She'd seen that once, Skywarp's old calling card. He'd arrange dismembered bodies in sickening parodies of romance and tenderness, piled in places where they couldn't be missed, a sick joke. She'd known some of the bots he'd left like that.

"How can they let her pursue him?" Arcee asked. "How can Rodimus let her be involved with him?"

"Rodimus knows how much she loves him. And… how much he loves her."

Again, Arcee had the feeling there was more to it than she knew about, but she couldn't figure out what. Shaking her heads angrily, she alternated her intakes to try and focus her mind, to calm her irritation.

"So… what are you doing tomorrow?" Sunstreaker asked hopefully.

* * *

They put me in one of the cells built for a bot my size, not the like the one they'd kept Skywarp in further down the row. I went straight to the plain metal berth even before Prowl activated the bars, lying on my side and facing the wall.

Two days. Two days for Skywarp to calm down, and two days for me to try to think of a way to plead my case. He couldn't get rid of me now, we were bonded, but he could certainly choose to never see me again. Who would blame him?

Recharge never came for me, nor did it for Skywarp. I listened to his brooding anger as it faded, but it never quite went away. He still felt betrayed, foolish… he refused to acknowledge my regret, my sadness and my desire to fix it, but I could only hope he would before the two days were up. As soon as they were over, I was going to find him somehow.

I was pointedly ignoring the Lamborghini twins. I didn't want to know how Sunny felt about what happened. I didn't ever want to see him again. I knew it wasn't really his fault, I'd let Rodimus go with Sideswipe, after all, and I'd made the decision to stay with Sunny… but I couldn't help but feel bitter towards the twin.


	35. Chapter 35

Hey guys. Chap's short. Desire to focus on school, general soul sappage from work, lack of motivation and splintering interests have made getting this chapter out difficult, sometimes barely got out a few lines in a sitting... Still, trying to pick it back up, rereading All Hail Megatron and such. Maybe I'll be inspired, or something ;) Trying to avoid One Disaster Less-verse right now, since I'm having enough trouble with OE as it is. The plus side is that after this chap I can start the next little arc which was introduced in ODL... yay :)

* * *

I spent hours in the brig burning with guilt. Sideswipe and Hot Rod were similarly plagued, but Sunstreaker recharged effortlessly until six in the morning, at which point he went about his business with nary a single unhappy mood swing.

The trine was grim all day. Starscream was frustrated and hateful more often than not, though I couldn't be sure that wasn't unusual,Thundercracker seemed to be undergoing something requiring a great deal of patience and Skywarp was nothing but a wall of resentment. I was surprised I could feel his brothers' echoes through him at all.

I was replaying my conversation with Thundercracker when my embarrassment just became too much. With a strangled buzzing groan I curled into a fetal position on my cell's berth and did all I could to escape.

Within minutes I'd melted into a state of mind that had become familiar for two years of my life, while I was alone in space. I reflected Hot Rod's mood thoughtlessly, parroting his distress back without truly feeling it. Meanwhile, my systems began to run pointless checks on solar conditions and nearby matter… My collision sensors were so wholly tricked into thinking I was in flight that they flashed wildly under the impression I was surrounded by dangerously solid objects bound to strike me.

Hot Rod's worry deepened, so mine did as well. After several minutes of perfect reflection, I earned the slightest curiosity from Skywarp. His resentment faded slightly, and I could practically see his tense face relaxing just the tiniest fraction. My involuntary hope and relief bubbled up, but he shut down on me immediately and I deflated back into Hot Rod's emotions. I stopped listening to anyone but him after that.

"Bravura, listen to me," his voice broke into my mindlessness after what seemed like a few minutes. "You've been at it all day, come on. It's not that bad."

"You feel it," I grumbled against the wall. "You know how mad he is."

"He'll get over it. I felt how much he loves you, and there is no way he'd let this ruin everything."

"He killed them," I sighed.

Hot Rod was silent at that.

"He murdered them. Not even quickly. He made sure it was torture. He loved it."

"What is upsetting you, Bravura? Skywarp being mad at you, or his past?"

"Both," I sighed. "I want to talk to him about his past, but… he won't see me."

"Wallowing won't help," my brother said, sounding remarkably like Sunstreaker. "Snap out of it. Start thinking about what you're going to say, how you're going to explain yourself. Don't make excuses, but tell him honestly what happened and what your concerns are. Be direct with him."

I rolled over for the first time in nearly a day to look at my brother. He was standing on the other side of the bars, looking tired and strained. Guilt panged at my spark. "What did you say to Sideswipe? He loves you."

Hot Rod frowned. "I didn't say anything yet. He knows I don't love him like he loves me. We'll talk about it, eventually… Just not right now."

Sighing heavily, I stood up and went to the bars. Reaching carefully through the faintly buzzing barrier, I touched his arm. "I'm really sorry, brother. For getting you caught up in this, for being so selfish."

He put his hand on mine. "It's alright. Everything will be fine, and maybe… Being connected to the Command Trine will make a difference. Thundercracker seems reasonable, and if we can convince Starscream there's something to gain by helping us bring Megatron down… maybe we can work something out. Everything you and Ultra Magnus have told us indicates the forces are scattered, weakened."

"The Combaticons are building an army," I told him, memory finally serving me. "Skywarp infiltrated the ranks briefly, and there were… a bunch."

"Any reason to believe they'll be mobilizing any time soon?" I could see the fighter in him, the leader Rodimus, while he talked about war. I didn't like it.

"I'll ask Skywarp the next time I see him. Or Thundercracker," I sighed.

"Thank you," my brother mumbled, rubbing my hand. "I know this is all hard for you, but-"

"What happened to Forcia?" I blurted. "I know Artemis is ok, and Curia, but… Whatever happened to her?"

"She's fine," Hot Rod shrugged. "A couple of our mechs found her and stayed with her. She was never even captured."

I sniffed and crossed my arms. "Figures. I wouldn't have minded her getting carried off."

My brother grinned for a moment, allowing some of the weight of the day to roll off of him. I smiled back, and for a few seconds I could pretend everything was ok.

"Mirage wants to go on the road trip soon," he finally said, rolling his doubtlessly tense shoulders.

"Ok," I nodded. I'd been sort of cold with the mech, and I regretted it now. It'd just been a bad time. "Maybe I'll fiddle with the generator he gave me, see about making a new holoform."

"Will she look like…" Hot Rod trailed off.

I shook my head. "Maybe like yours."

He nodded. "Ok. Are you… feeling better? If I go recharge, are you going to turn into a zombot on me again?"

"I'll stay sane," I said, hugging myself. "I just… needed some perspective. It's not the end of the world, even if it feels that way now."

The Prime nodded, and with a quiet goodnight left me to my thoughts. I finally recharged.

* * *

"You present us with a problem, Bravura," Prowl said. He was sitting on the other side of his desk, upright and official in the sterile office he spent so much time in. Even the datapads he usually kept carefully arranged for easy viewing and reviewing were put away.

"I'm aware," I said, also _aware_ that I was being sulky and thoroughly not caring.

"Now that you're back on the feet and back in the air you already seem to be having trouble dealing with the City and its rules."

"Yes," I sighed, leaning sideways in my chair, built to accommodate mechs much larger than me. I rested my chin in my palm, staring into Prowl's distant optics. He didn't seem impressed by my casual performance.

"Devcon spoke to me," Prowl continued. "He tells me that you've grown used to coming and going as you please, and 'getting away with murder' as the humans might say. You're so adjusted to freedom that the thought of following protocol here doesn't cross your mind, or so he believes. Is this anywhere close to the truth?"

"Guess so," I said, crossing my legs. "He knows better than anybody."

"He thinks I should give you some responsibility. Something to keep you moving and busy. Rodimus agrees."

I couldn't help my grimace. Everybody was talking about what was best for me, but nobody was asking.

"What do you have in mind?" I asked.

"I want you to pick a mentor," Prowl said, leaning forward slightly. "Someone who matches you in personality and ability.

"Ah, yeah? Who?"

"I've compiled a shortlist of mechs suitable and willing, should you choose them. Breakaway is on the list, being a flyer, though I somewhat advise against it. Also, Mirage or Hound, since you seem to have had plenty of experience with holograms while you were away. Blaster would be willing to take you on as well, and could probably teach you more than a little in communications and code breaking. Your experience at the neutral hospital prepares you for tutelage under Ratchet or First Aid… both medics are willing. Springer is another option, though he is a volunteer and not one I would've chosen myself."

He wasn't giving me the choice I really wanted to here: Nobody. But if it helped me get out of hot water and maybe improved my skills at something at the same time…

"Who would you pick if you were me?" I asked.

Prowl considered me, then cracked a small smile. "I'd ask for time to think it over. Visit Washington D.C. and the Trion. Get to know some of the mechs there. They have an incredibly skilled crew and it might do well for you to get to know them before choosing a mentor."

"You think a mentor will really make a difference?" I asked tiredly.

"Yes, I do. That having been said, you're unofficially assigned to the Trion for the next month."

I jerked upright.

"A _month?_ Are you glitching, Prowl?"

"No." He smiled again.

"What if I say no?" I questioned, leaning over and pressing my palms to his desk. "I'm not a soldier, how many times do I have to say it?"

"You're not a soldier, but you are dependent on us," Prowl said without any obvious irritation. "If you want continuing repairs, supplies and safe haven you will comply."

I stared at the cool mech, then growled and stood up. "I'll think about it," I grumbled, hitting the pad at the door and stalking out.

There wasn't exactly much to think about. My options boiled down to doing what Prowl said and staying safe and energized, or ignoring him and running away. Where to, though? Nowhere was safe on Earth, not with Dirge's trine able to seek me out whenever they chose. If I left Earth, I left my brother and my… my bondmate behind. With unresolved issues between us, no less. I hated to admit it, but I was going to have to submit to Prowl's orders and go to the Trion.

* * *

Hot Rod slept with me that night, his unconscious shifting eventually bringing me more or less on top of him, his arms around me. He was nervous before he recharged, barely saying anything and shifting uncomfortably before sliding onto the berth next to me. Once he relaxed, though, he couldn't seem to get close enough.

Skywarp finally recharged, shortly after my brother blanked out. I listened as everyone faded off, Sideswipe and Thundercracker and Starscream all following within the hour. Sunstreaker remained awake, and though he wasn't especially distressed he seemed unfocused.

About one in the morning I still wasn't recharging, so I painstakingly extricated myself from Hot Rod's loving clutches and slipped from the room to find Sunstreaker. He was in the rec hall, sitting in front of the glowing TV and using the poor couch as an elbow rest. He barely glanced at me when I sat down.

We didn't speak, but… we didn't need to. By the echo of his spark I could tell that he was sort of irritated to see me, not because he was angry but because it made him uncomfortable. But I didn't say anything, and eventually the edge he'd built up at my arrival faded. The news was full of bad news on the TV. Very little seemed to be going right on Earth these days.

Around three AM he got up, slowly sliding to his feet and looking at the ceiling before looking at me.

"Sorry," he muttered.

"It's ok," I said, looking back before glancing down quickly.

He sighed, standing there moment longer before finally leaving. He was in recharge a half hour later, but by four AM I was still awake, though exhausted. My fitful recharge during my detention wasn't enough. When Hot Rod got up at five-thirty I decided to quit fighting it and went to the training room to think about which mentor to choose.

* * *

So who would you choose if you were Vura? Medic, communications, intelligence, scouting... Don't forget, there are also mechs on the Trion like Blurr, Nightbeat or even Drift. If you have any preferences drop me a line, I'm very undecided at this point.

R&R, lovelies


	36. Chapter 36

I am absolutely vibrating (ha, I'm vibrating) with excitement. For All Mankind Vol 1 came in today (along with a truckload of tea, whee!) and I devoured it. The comic, not the tea (yet.) Don Figueroa's weird uglyfacebots depressed me at first, but I got over how damn hideous it made them all. The story is freaking cool and yet utterly nonsensical but still, Optimus squashing a con, Thundercracker… just, squee. That's right, I'm squeeing. Here's a chap of OE.

* * *

I found Prowl late in the morning after I'd managed a few restless hours of recharge. He was walking the halls purposefully, relaxed. When he saw me coming he nodded slightly, not seeming surprised when I fell into step next to him.

"I'll go," I told the SIC.

"I'm surprised you considered any other options at all."

"I did ok without you before, you know."

"No." He stopped and I faltered a step and half later, turning to look back at the cop car. "You were in poor health when Devcon found you. When you left his care you were captured several times by Decepticons and crippled."

"Some of them were Predacons," I grumbled, looking at the mech's feet.

"It doesn't change your dependence on others."

I sighed and crossed my arms. "Fine. I need you guys. That's why I'm going to the Trion like you want."

Prowl nodded. "Breakaway can escort you at 0600 tomorrow. Be on the mesa by then."

Hot Rod wasn't surprised when I told him I was leaving. He'd already been informed, or maybe he'd been the one to make the decision. Who knew? All that mattered was I wasn't going to see him for a month. We established a private comm. link so that I could contact him if I learned anything from Skywarp's trine.

* * *

Four o'clock found me in the training room, slashing viciously at unseen enemies. The fragging training system refused to let me in, no matter how much I yelled at it or beat it and subsequently apologized. Still, I wanted to do something. My knives were a welcome accessory – no, not an accessory. They were a part of me, and it was good to feel whole. So I stabbed and chopped and snipped the invisible bad guys until my fans and vents were buzzing to fill the room.

I was going for an especially clumsy punch-stab to my invisible friend when something grabbed me and literally flipped me through the air. I landed on my heels with a surprisingly light clang, supported at the shoulder by someone I couldn't see, though I knew his laugh immediately.

"Funny, Mirage," I grumbled. He pulled me to my feet and let me go, materializing. His smug grin was almost enough to annoy me, but not quite. "That wasn't anywhere close to fair."

"You could've heard me coming a mile away," he said, leaning back and crossing his arms. "The door opened, and I made _noise_ while I walked over here."

I huffed, then shrugged at my thoughts. Here was a good example of what I could learn… from Mirage, no less. Here, home. I wouldn't have to leave.

I shut the thought down. He looked at me strangely, spoke to me in a way that was all too familiar. It would be best if I didn't encourage Mirage. I hadn't forgotten the near kiss on the mesa.

"You were noisy compared to what, a flea?" I joked, nudging the taller mech.

"Not compared to you," he said, gripping my wrist and gently twisting me around. I let him almost put me into the lock he was trying on me, slipping from it at the last minute and turning it on him. He was hardly putting any weight into his movement, however, so my aikido protested and fell flat.

The officer chuckled and let his hands drop, ignoring my embarrassing failure to turn his playful attack around.

"When do you leave?" he asked.

"Tomorrow at 6 in the morning," I sighed. "Who told you?"

"Rodimus."

"It's stupid," I grumbled, crossing my arms.

"I don't agree with it," Mirage said flatly, "but… you made us all look bad, little lady. You just took off, and we had no idea what the- what you were doing. Then you come back acting like we're the ones with the attitude problem."

I stared at the dark blue Elite. "'Like we're the ones with the attitude problem.' You make it sound like… like 'you' are something that I'm not a part of."

Mirage scowled. "You aren't. You're not an Autobot, Bravura. You're a civilian who happens to be valuable to us all. And you fly off looking for the enemy, you go silent, you don't tell anybody where you're going. I looked like a fool, losing you like that!"

I stiffened and crossed my arms. "_You_ looked like a fool. Oh. This is about you. Ok, whatever, Mirage. I'm sorry if I made you _look bad_ to the bots who don't even like you that much anyway!"

Mirage started to say something, then stopped short. He stared at me, flexing his fingers, then began again more slowly. "They trust me here, more than I ever have been anywhere with the Autobots. The ones who don't like me… Well, they aren't here most of the time. _Optimus _trusts me. But if you keep up your self-centered, _childish_ fits then he won't trust you much longer. I'm trying to help you Bravura. Listen to Kup on the Trion. He and Ultra Magnus won't let you act like a youngling."

I sighed. "Childish?" He was probably right. They had no idea what happened. "I… just… didn't think it was that big of a deal. Sorry, Mirage. Sorry if I got you in trouble."

Mirage sighed and put a hand on my shoulder. "I know, Vura. I just want what's best for you."

I nodded, looking down at his feet. "Thanks, Raj."

The mech bumped the edge of his fist under my chin. "Chin up, little lady. You have an exciting month ahead of you. You get to pick a mentor."

He was smiling, so I smiled back, if weakly. "True. Should be fun, I guess."

* * *

_This SUCKS, Breakaway! _

_ Yep._

_ As if I can't make it there on my own!_

_ Yep._

_ I'm a big bot, you know?_

_ Yep._

_ …You think Ratchet's sexy?_

_ Yep. Wait, no! Sorry, Bravura… Just, you're starting to sound like Gears._

I groaned out loud, forgoing the short range Autobot frequency I was using with Breakaway. The sound was completely drowned by the earthshaking noise Breakaway and I were producing. I rolled onto my back and wiggled my wings, glaring over at the Autobot flyer. His alt mode, the F-35, was just about killing me. I wanted it back, or the Tetrajet, and I was stuck with the slagging _Tweet_. Breakaway was holding back for me, and I was still pushing myself as hard as my alt mode would let me. I had so much more potential than the fragging Tweet could handle!

_I'll keep the whining to a minimum,_ I conceded, rolling upright again. _Sorry we're going so slow._

_You're fine, it gives me a chance to enjoy the scenery. The land changes so much in just a few hundred miles._

We were just an hour away from Autobot City. Breakaway could make the trip to the Trion and back in no time, but with me it would be hours before we arrived. I was dreading facing Kup.

Skywarp and his trine seemed to be going through something trying. Skywarp was bored out of his mind, Thundercracker was stolid and Starscream was itching with irritation. Back home, Hot Rod was in work mode while Sideswipe worried about something and Sunstreaker was actually in a fairly decent mood. The cacophony of emotions constantly battering the back of my mind was becoming familiar, a heavy but comfortable weight.

Around the second hour of our journey we had a rather interesting run-in with Dirge. The Conehead registered on my scanners blatantly, as if he wasn't even trying to hide himself. I looked wildly for the Seeker, finally catching his silhouette far to the south.

_Seeker,_ Breakaway sent. _It's Dirge, he may not bother us._

I watched the blue Seeker edge closer, closer. Breakaway and I were silent for several tense minutes, until a faint message trickled in through the Decepticon frequency.

_Hear me?_

_ Barely, _I sent back cautiously.

_Quiet! I don't want anybody to hear us!_

I toned down the strength of my signal and tried again. _Better?  
Yes. I want to apologize for hurting you during the raid._

If I'd had a mouth available it would've been hanging open. _You… are sorry._

_ I am. I can't stop thinking about you. I keep feeling like… like I have to do something, but I can't figure out what. For days now, ever since you escaped._

Was it possible that the thread of a connection we had from our long distant sparkbonds had told him something about my new bondmate?

_Bravura, I don't like how he's following us like this. He might be waiting for reinforcements._ My escort eased between me and the distant Seeker.

_ Breakaway is about to chase you off, _I warned the Seeker. _I'm better now, so don't be sorry. Just… leave me alone._ Why did it hurt to say that to the fearmonger?

_I'll come for you. You're going to the Trion, aren't you? Barricade said something's wrong with the Allspark, that you're holding it in the human hospital in Washington DC._

_ What…?_ I hadn't thought about Sam in days. He hadn't woken up yet?

_Perhaps he's dying._

_ NO!_

_I'm going in, _Breakaway broke in on the Autobot signal. _Don't change the flight path unless others show up._

_ Ok,_ I sighed. Dirge wasn't sending in his brothers, but I'd let Breakaway chase him off anyway.

_Dirge?_

_Yes._

_ Leave me alone._ Ow…

By the crack in his velvet voice I could tell he was experiencing the same mysterious spark pain that I was. _No._

Breakaway peeled away from me and towards Dirge. The Seeker wavered with indecision or fear almost immediately, but held on even as Breakaway fired his engines.

_I will find you,_ the Seeker warned. _And you will be happy I did._

With that he banked sharply and ran away from the fast approaching Autobot. That was it. No show of bravado, no weapons fired. He just ran away, the… the coward.

* * *

The Trion was nestled in the fork of the Potomoc River, south of the White House. It was probably a real pain in the aft for anybody actually trying to use the waterway, but there weren't many places the massive ship could land without squashing buildings. This way the ship was near the White House and able to guard the capitol.

_Breakaway and Bravura incoming, Trion, _the F-35 called. _Hope you didn't just polish the floors, I'm makin' a break for the rec. room._

_ The floors are the least of our worries right now,_ Blaster responded grimly. _Welcome to the Trion, Bravura. Breakaway will show you in. Ultra Magnus wants you to come to him as soon as you've had a chance to cool your jets._

_ Is something wrong? _I followed Breakaway down to a walkway on the north side. It extended to the shoreline, but looked as if it could easily be taken apart. Easily by Cybertronian standards, anyway.

_Ultra Magnus will explain everything, _Blaster sighed audibly. _We've got it under control, just… try not to overreact._

I landed behind Breakaway, transforming and stretching out as soon as I could. My white and navy paint job was bright and clean against the muddy river and the yellow-orange exterior of the Trion.

"Do you know what's going on?" I asked the camo F-35.

"Uh… yep." He turned to the entrance and plugged into it, earning clearance and opening the door.

"Is it bad?" The Trion was cool and relatively dark, a welcome change after the bright monotony of the sun for the better part of the day.

"Depends on how you look at it," the flyer evaded. "Want to grab a cube before you see Ultra Magnus?"

"No," I growled. "Where do I go?"

Breakaway sighed and started walking. He didn't take me far, however.

"Bravura!" Bluestreak rounded the corner, nearly walking into us, He grinned and held up his hand to shake, but I skipped the formalities and gave the gunner a quick hug.

"Good to see you, Blue. Didn't get too bashed up in the raid?"

"Not any worse than anybody else," the mech said. "Primus, but when I heard you'd gone after Sam and Artemis, made me wish I was a flyer, not for the first time. I couldn't believe you went right up chasing Starscream of all the bots! He's too fast for anybody except maybe Blaster, and even that's a definite maybe. But you survived, and look at you!"

I glanced down at my steady limbs, marveling not for the first time at the complete use of both my optics. It had felt like I was crippled forever. "Yeah, Sam really helped me out there."

Bluestreak didn't respond. Glancing up, he was looking pointedly off to the side, like he was struggling to keep something in.

"What, Blue? Something's wrong with Sam, is that what it is?"

"Um… I'll take her to Magnus, ok Breakaway?" Bluestreak took my hand when Breakaway gave a nod. I waved to the F-35 and he turned away a little too quickly.

"What's going on, Blue?" I pleaded as he began to lead me on through the halls of the Trion.

"He… Slag, I want to tell you, but Ultra Magnus wants to break it to you, ok? He'll tell you in just a minute. Please, just don't feel bad alright?"

This was the second warning I'd had not to freak out. What in frell was going on?

"Blue, should I feel bad?" I asked quietly, worry starting to eat at me. Had Sam not recovered? Was Dirge right, was he dying?

"No," the mech assured, stopping and turning to me. "Nothing that happened is your fault, ok? Nobody thinks that way. You did everything you could, you risked your life to try and save him. It's not your fault."

"Is he dying?" I whispered. "Blue?" I kept clinging to the mech's name, as if using it would make him tell me the truth.

The gunner shook his head. "Not… no. He's not dying. Ultra Magnus will tell you everything."

I sucked in a long intake, nodded and gestured ahead. "Ok. Take me to him please, I don't know how much longer I can handle this suspense."

The door to the room Bluestreak took me to was open. Ultra Magnus and Kup were sitting inside, both of them looking sort of uncomfortable, though Kup's discomfort seemed to be annoyance at being detained there rather than Ultra Magnus's 'bearer of bad news' expression.

Blue dropped my hand. "I'll be around later, if you don't want to be by yourself. If you want to talk, or go to the hospital."

"Thanks," I mumbled, then left the gunner in the hall and stepped into the meeting room. It was large and reminded me vaguely of Star Trek, with an oval table in the center made to accommodate at least eight mechs. The nearest chair to me was empty, with Magnus and Kup on either side of it. I was expected to sit between them, apparently. Magnus stood up as I approached.

"Welcome to the Trion, Bravura. I hope you'll enjoy your assignment here. I understand you're to look for a mentor."

"Yes," I said. Kup snorted behind Magnus.

"It sounds like you already know something is wrong with Sam. Do you know the details?"

I shook my head. "No. Just that he's in the hospital."

"Yes. He's been unconscious ever since Breakaway brought him back. The humans doctors and First Aid have been working on him ceaselessly, but…there is very little to show for it. Ratchet came to look at him as well, and he stumbled upon something happening in Sam Witwicky's body, however, that is cause for concern."

"_In_ Sam?" I felt sick. My tank just might purge if he said what I was suddenly afraid of.

"Sam is undergoing a change. The same sort of change you yourself experienced."

I dropped to my aft right there. Kup snorted, but Ultra Magnus knelt in front of me.

"He's turning into a… Cybertronian," I managed to force out a word that didn't sound so negative.

"Yes. Perceptor has confirmed that what is happening to him looks almost exactly like what happened to you. He is fortunately unconscious for his experience."

"They'll cut into his brain and save his memories?" I asked dully.

"They aren't sure. The Allspark is involved here, and they're rather hoping the Allspark will preserve him. They'll wait until they can be sure."

I was staring up at Magnus up until that moment, but I couldn't meet his forgiving stare anymore. I jerked my chin down and hugged myself, capturing horrified whimpers in my processors before they escaped.

"My fault," I finally hissed. "I was supposed to protect him. I fell on him, the wall fell on him… when we brought him up I didn't protect him from the pressure. I did this to him, it's my-"

"It isn't your fault," the huge mech cut me off. "It was a raid. You did more than anybody during the raid to help him. You were there to help him when he was recovered. You may have saved his life."

I shook my head, jerking my tortured stare up when Kup grunted.

"Calm down, femme. You were fine, he'll be fine. Shake it off." The camo mech was so fragging relaxed about it!

"He won't have a soul!" I shrieked, rising to my knees. I immediately regretted it, my body freezing before I slowly sank back to the floor.

"A soul? You're worried about his soul?" Kup stood up, crossing his arms. "You might look like one of us, but that's the most crazy organic thing I've ever heard."

"Why?" I challenged.

"Do you feel soulless? No, I bet not. I'll bet you feel the same as you did." He smirked under my stare, shifting his weird metal cigar from one side of his mouth to the other. "He's going to make it. He will be alive. I know better than anybody what it's like to be rebuilt from scrap and brought back from the other side. Don't worry about his slagging soul."

I closed my open mouth to look up at Ultra Magnus. Kup didn't understand, couldn't understand…

"I want to go see him, please. I need to see Sam."

I wanted to see what was left of him before the Allspark changed him. When they were done with him he'd be nothing but a copy of Sam's memories, like I was of Camilla Phillips'. She was dead and the only soul I had left belonged to Hot Rod. Sam was going to die, even if they saved him.

* * *

That's right, bot!Sam. If you've read ODL you already knew that ;) It's kinda rough writing this, since I feel like I already covered this stuff. I did, in ODL, but this is all a fresh experience so... sheesh. Still, is gonna be fu-u-u-un! The whole mentor thing will still happen, but it's clearly on the rocks for the moment. Had a vote each for Raj, Hound and Bluestreak. Raj is out since he's the center of attention (more or less) in ODL cause I like him so damn much. He gets his own side story ;) I'm completely torn between the other two.

R&R Lovelies.


	37. Chapter 37

I noticed I've been neglecting to describe alt modes, which isn't that big of a deal I guess, but… it's fun to pick them. Blurr is an SSC Ultimate Aero, my extensive first click google search says it's the fastest, Hot Rod is an Aston Martin V12 Vantage, Mirage is a Lincoln MKT, Bumblebee is whatever new Camaro they'll have in a few years, Skywarp has returned to his F-22 Raptor to match his trine, Dirge is hanging onto his Tetrajet.

Also, I apologize for how boring these past few chapters are. You'd at least think I'd give you something entertaining after all these months... nope, guess not.

* * *

Blue was waiting down the hall when Ultra Magnus walked me out of the meeting room. He stood up from leaning against the wall.

"Will you take her to the hospital?" Magnus asked, his fingers just grazing my shoulder as if I might bolt.

"Of course," Blue answered.

"Thank you." Magnus nodded and went back into the meeting room, shutting the door behind him.

Bluestreak approached me slowly. "Are you ok?" he was trying to stay low key. The effort was obvious and appreciated.

"Um," I said, evading the question with my staggering eloquence. "I don't have a hologram set up to go see Sam. I don't know how to make a human one."

"Well… I don't actually use a mobile projector very much. If you want to go in the hospital you'll want to ask Hound or Bumblebee, they're both off right now. Or you could try Mirage in the City."

"Ok," I nodded. "Who's closest?"

"Bumblebee is still with Sam, but Hound is here," Bluestreak answered after a moment. "He's in his quarters, but he says he'll come out and give you a hand."

Bluestreak walked us to a small room with a low thin table, two long benches and an observation portal in the wall. All it showed was the murky Potomac. Hound stepped in through the open door in a few minutes. He looked the same as I remembered him, green and friendly but capable.

"Hello," he said somewhat cautiously.

"Hey, Hound," Bluestreak started. "Thanks for coming, we could really use your help."

"To build a human hologram." Hound looked from Blue to me. "You found out about Sam?"

I nodded. "How long ago did Ratchet find out?"

"Last night," Hound answered, coming to sit next to me, across from Bluestreak. "Bumblebee was inconsolable for most of the night, but Blaster managed to talk him out of it enough to listen to Perceptor early this morning. Coulda used Optimus here."

I understood Bee's fears. Sam could still die, or his memories might be lost in the transfer. Or the Allspark might choose to wipe them out itself. Maybe it wasn't turning him into a robot at all, but another cube? Who knew, but I didn't have to imagine how scared Bumblebee was for Sam.

"So, a hologram," Hound interrupted my morbidity. He was watching me when I looked up from the floor, and his smile suggested he knew I'd needed something to derail my train of thought. "It can be easy, just taking a bioscan of an existing human, or it can become quite complicated, depending on how well you want to blend in. Just for visiting Sam, though… The hospital knows what we are, so there's no real need to hide. We just need something that blends in, though I imagine Mirage already has the basic human code installed." He gestured to my wrist. "It will be easier to help you if I jack in, but I understand if you don't want to."

I shrugged and opened my panel. Working with the medics on Tricora had involved plenty of jacking in, usually to Butcher or other familiar mechs, but I was no stranger to feeling another mind poking through my systems for reasons other than interfacing.

He opened a wrist panel and withdrew a cable. I lifted my own wrist and we plugged into each other. It was a simple matter to light up the pathways to the receiver and he 'followed' me to access the programming.

It was actually pretty cool to watch Hound manipulate coding into a human form. Increasingly he asked for my input ("Female, right? How tall? Are these proportions acceptable?") until he started giving me code to work with in order to customize her myself.

Soon, we had managed a human female who remarkably resembled Hot Rod's human holoform. She had red brown hair, a similar face shape and blue eyes that almost seemed to glow. She wasn't especially feminine, almost androgynous, and a bit tall. Hound put a white t-shirt and a pair of jeans on her, then finished her up and saved the final product into my holoreceiver. Once he'd withdrawn I considered the time of year, autumn now, and added a jacket in colors that matched my Tweet alt mode. The cool blue would be soothing to Bumblebee, hopefully.

"Care to give her a try?" Hound asked. "It will give us a chance to inspect all the coding and make sure it's working properly. You may take a few moments to adjust to a separated holoform, as well. It's not like wearing a regular concealing hologram."

I removed my holoreceiver in silent agreement, setting it on the table that sat between Blue and I, starting it up. There was a faint high whine, one a human might not even detect, and then I was standing there looking up at myself. It was disorienting to say the least, looking down at myself while simultaneously being shocked at how large I appeared from a human perspective. I leaned my actual body back, feeling something like vertigo before giving my attention more fully to the holoform.

"Now what?" I asked Hound from both bodies.

"Try moving it. Take a breath, change your expression."

Aside from speaking my holoform had been stock still up until that moment, so I took a deep breath. There was no satisfaction from the action, not even the cooling effect of forcing an intake in my robot body. I turned my head slowly and made myself smile at Hound, then shifted my feet, which felt hideously flat, until I faced Blue, smiling at him as well. He smiled back down at me.

There was a tiny whine as Hound threw his own generator down. I trained both my sights on him, observing his holoform. It was remarkably like Paul Hogan back in the Crocodile Dundee movies.

"Everything feels ok? Can you feel your fingers and toes?" He poked me in the arm thoughtfully.

"Yeah," I answered, wiggling said appendages. White sneakers were stored in the holoreceiver so I wouldn't appear barefoot, but I hadn't activated them yet.

"Good." He smiled oddly, almost wistfully, then lifted his hands. "Care to dance? It will help you feel out the length of your appendages. Holoforms can be destructive if you aren't aware of your limbs."

"Dance…?" I hesitated, then slowly lifted my hands to Hound's holoform and stepped closer. We slowly fell into a simple waltz, something I'd known since early in my human childhood.

"Is it," he looked down at me, then over my shoulder, "like being human?"

"This hologram?" I thought about it, evaluating the way the air felt and tasted and smelled, the way everything appeared to me, the way my weight felt on my feet, and decided that while it was quite close in some ways it was nothing like my memories of being alive.

"Not really," I sighed. "It's similar, I guess, but… it's missing something."

Hound nodded, smiling, "I thought so. What I wouldn't give to know what it's like!"

I felt my eyebrows shoot up reflexively. His grin at my immediate surprise, such a natural response, told me he'd been expecting the moment to come.

"The longer you use it the more integrated you and it will be. Soon, maybe forty-eight hours of use or so, everything will be effortless."

I nodded. "Why would you want to know what it's like to feel human? I would never trade this life for my old one. Never."

He shrugged, leading me in a slow revolution around the relatively large table. Bluestreak was watching, contemplating us or something else.

"I've always loved my job, becoming part of strange and exciting places with even stranger peoples. Something about humanity is magnetic, though. I can't ever seem to get enough of it, and they live such full lives in such a short time… A vorn passes and a human's life begins and ends naturally. You're defiant in the face of death, whereas if a Cybertronian knew he had only that long to live… he would be terrified."

"Even knowing that if you were a human you'd die before the turn of the century, would you still be one? If you could, I mean."

He shrugged. "I read a novel once about a mythical human monster, a vampire. He regrets what he is and longs to give up his immortal life and supernatural strength to be mortal. He finds a way to be human again and quickly hates his weakness and his mortality. He does everything in his power to become immortal again, and he succeeds. I imagine I might be like that in time, towards the end."

"You read?"

Hound smiled. "Quite often. I also listen to the music, watch movies and television, read the papers… it makes me feel closer, I guess. It also helps me to blend in, knowing the culture."

I nodded thoughtfully. I was out of touch with humanity, my knowledge of pop culture and current events spotty at best. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from Hound, though as limited as my interaction was with humans, it didn't seem important. DC was full of regular humans, though, not military personnel, so this place might have different demands than Autobot City.

"You think I could get away with going to see Sam now?" I asked, dragging on Hound just enough to let him know I wanted to quit dancing. We drifted to a stop and he released me with a small bow.

"Yes, I believe so. Good touch with the jacket, humans are starting to wear more protective clothing this time of year. You'll want shoes, though," he glanced down, grinning.

"Right." I materialized the white sneakers. My feet actually felt the difference, something I hadn't expected. Mirage deserved some serious praise later.

I turned my human eyes to Bluestreak. "You won't be able to come in, will you?" I asked plaintively.

The normally cheerful mech frowned and shook his head. "No, I'm sorry."

"I would go with you," Hound began, but he quickly crushed my hopes of having someone other than just Bumblebee there with me. "but Kup has been after me for my last three reports and if I go out without them he'll have my exoskin."

I sighed. "It's ok." Though, I really didn't want Bumblebee to look at me with accusation, which he was no doubt feeling… It was my fault the human he so deeply cared for might die.

The hospital wasn't far, nestled next to a college. The parking lot wasn't very Tweet friendly so I took one of the tennis courts behind the hospital, hoping I wouldn't be getting in anybody's way later. I let my holoreceiver loose and started it up, allowing my senses to split. After the moment it took to reorient, I transformed my real body and prepared it for a long wait.

Stalling, I went to the parking lot where Bluestreak waited, leaning against his passenger door.

"Can you do it?" he asked, remarkably succinct.

"I dunno," I mumbled. "What if Bee hates me?"

"He doesn't," the gunner reassured me. "He's scared for Sam, but he has to know you would never hurt Sam on purpose. You did everything you possibly could have, and you did exactly what he would've done when you went after him."

I sighed, rubbing my arms through the very realistic sleeves of my jacket. "Hope you're right. You can go, Blue," I told the mech. "I'll be fine."

"I should probably stay," he said. "Never know what could happen."

"Ok. Thanks a lot, Bluestreak. Really."

* * *

Bumblebee, his holoform a handsome blonde haired blue-eyed man in his mid twenties, about Sam's age, looked up from the still form in the hospital bed. He didn't look tired in the usual signs, dark circles under his eyes or messy hair or five o'clock shadow, but the way he held himself spoke volumes.

"Hey Bee," I mumbled, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Hi," he said softly, as if he might wake Sam. Maybe he should try. The blonde stood up and walked to me. "They said you might come."

I nodded, looking down when tears suddenly stung at my eyes. This hologram felt too real! How could Mirage be so cruel, to want me to be able to cry?

Bee's arms wrapped around me, earning a flinch from me before I sucked in an unsteady gasp and relaxed, looping my arms around his lower back.

"I'm _sorry_, Bee," I whispered against his shoulder. "I should've done better. I-"

"You were crippled," he interrupted. "I left him with you, knowing full well you couldn't really protect him. I asked too much, I should never have asked you to take him. You and Artemis were captured, you could've been killed, all because of what I asked."

"No, don't be stupid," I shot back, leaning away. "I _fell_ on him, Bee. I crushed Sam."

He stared down at me then shook his head. "I know. No matter what happened, I never should've asked you to take him. You needed protecting yourself, it was… stupid of me. I was so stupid."

I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, my eyes puffy. "Sorry," I repeated anyway.

Bee hugged me again, his own breath shaking as he sucked it in sharply. "I forgive you, but only if you forgive me," he muttered into my hair.

"Deal," I said softly. He eased away, taking my hand and leading me to Sam's bed. The man was bruised horribly, one leg in a cast, and he was covered in scrapes and scratches.

"How far has it gone?"

"Ratchet's afraid to look. Scans make it move too fast."

I nodded, remembering the searing pain when I was scanned before I died. It made me shudder.

"What will they do to save him?"

Bumblebee stroked Sam's limp hand. "We don't know if we can trust the Allspark to save his memories, so we might do what Perceptor and Ratchet and Rodimus did with you."

"And… a spark?"

Bumblebee looked at me as if was obvious. "I would do it."

Nodding, I sat down in the second chair next to Sam's bed and held back a sigh. There wasn't much to do but wait.

* * *

I went back to the Trion when Springer came to the hospital to send me and Bluestreak back to the ship. I was so completely absorbed in my holoform's senses that I didn't notice the very large helicopter land next to me. It was until he was tapping on my wing that I came back to myself.

"Time to go back," the familiar mech said quietly.

"Ok," I grumbled without transforming. Back in the hospital, I lifted my chin from my chest and looked at Bumblebee, whose bright eyes never left Sam. "Springer's here to take me back," I whispered.

Bumblebee broke his intense stare and looked at me, standing. "Right… If I ask Kup, would you, ah, want to help me watch Sam? My holoreceiver isn't going to last much longer than tonight without or a recharge or some sunlight."

"You want _me_ to?" I asked incredulously. "But, Bee-"

Bumblebee took my hand, squeezing it a little sharply. "But nothing, ok? You're the only one who knows what he's going through, what he'll go through when he wakes up. I want you to stay with him when I can't." He smiled with a faint trace of bitterness.

I stared up at the human face, not so much taller than my own leggy holoform, then nodded. "If Kup will let me, yeah. I'll be here as soon as they'll let me."

"Thank you," Bee sighed. He gave me a quick hug and watched me, turning back to Sam as I shut then door.

A pale blue sports car, his headlights shining blue-white in the darkness, was stopping at the airlock of the Trion when Springer and I returned, Bluestreak having parted with us for a patrol. The strange car transformed as we landed, casting a cursory glance over the two of us.

"Hey, Blurr," Springer said. "How did it go?"

He shrugged. "Got away. That fragging Frenzy, he blew out one of my tires and by the time I transformed Barricade was gone. If it weren't for their dirty slagging tricks I would've had him."

Springer glanced down when I visibly stiffened. "It's ok, those two are always sneaking around. We try to catch them, but somehow they always get away. I don't think they're doing anything but keep tabs on things for Megatron, but just the same, if we could bag em and tag em we would all feel better."

While Barricade had never shown any particular compassion for me, his bond Frenzy had considered me an extension of himself years ago. Who knew if the crazed little mech still looked on me in a kind light or not?

"Ah," Springer said awkwardly, "Kup asked me to tell you, you're assigned to Sam as a guard, to fill in for Bee when he recharges. And you, well, he says you have to change your alt mode. To something ground bound."

"What?" I snapped, completely blindsided by the last part. I noted Blurr's optic ridge rise critically, then he was turning away and walking into the Trion. I faced Springer, not caring that he was huge. "I can't be ground bound! That's… that's insane!"

"It's for your safety," Springer said, surprisingly firm. "You're easier to protect, harder to shoot and less likely to get away from us on the ground. You have a history of running away."

My fingers curled into claws before I balled them into fists. "Stupid. This is so stupid!" I snarled, stomping past the helicopter and into the relatively bright Trion.

* * *

_Don't make me change my alt mode,_ I pleaded with Hot Rod over our new private link. _Please, I'll be good, I swear._

_It isn't up to me, _my brother repeated. _The commanding officers there have every right to make their own decisions._

_But I don't deserve this!_

_You sort of do, from their perspective, _he said, his voice edging on real irritation. _Just go with it, ok? It's just a month. Skywarp lasted longer than that, and he was trapped in a brig. You'll at least be able to move around._

The mention of Skywarp sobered me somewhat. I'd been so distracted by Sam and now by being shackled to the concrete that I'd been largely letting Skywarp disappear into the cacophony of minds constantly pounding at my thoughts. Suddenly I focused sharply on him, and while he was still sullen and unhappy there was no sign of anger in his attitude. Thank Primus for that.

_You're really going to let them do this to me,_ I sighed.

_You make it sound like torture,_ my brother grumbled. _I've never flown in my life and I manage ok. One month of good behavior, and I'll make sure you get your wings back. Ok?_

_Ok,_ I relented. _I'm going to try and get one last flight in before tomorrow, if they'll let me._

_Don't make Kup mad, _Hot Rod warned. _Have a good night. I love you._

_Love you too._

It was surprisingly easy to sneak out of the Trion. I thought I'd gone unnoticed as I jumped off the dock and into the air, but then a voice crackled onto a merchant frequency.

_And where do you think you're going?_

_Nowhere! Who is this? Blaster?_

_I'm in the comm. room, and I have a pretty good view of you buzzing around. Where are you going?_

_Nowhere,_ I replied truthfully. _Tomorrow I have to put on some wheels, I just wanted to fly a little while first._

_Ah. Well, stay close. If Kup goes looking for you and you've left the city you'll be in for it. It's bad enough you're off the ship._

_Don't worry, I'll stay close,_ I assured the communications officer.

I stayed true to my word, flying over the city of Washington D.C., not drifting far from the Trion where it rested in the Potomac. There was no darkness to be had down there, everything glowing unnaturally in the lights of humanity. I flew higher to escape it.

Somewhere out there, or maybe up on the moon, Skywarp's mind was quiet, unemotional. He wasn't ready to recharge, though Hot Rod, Sideswipe and Thundercracker had gone under some time ago. Knowing the activities, at least in part, of my bondmates was strangely reassuring. I relaxed into my connection to my bond, and to my great relief I felt a sort of relaxation in return, an indefinable acceptance. Starscream's spike of irritation did nothing to ruin it and Sunstreaker remained unimpressed, perhaps not paying attention or not caring.

All I knew now for certain was that the Seeker didn't hate me. Everything else, as twisted and as uncertain as it was, seemed suddenly trifling in the knowledge that Skywarp and I were going to be ok.

* * *

*endures self-inflicted rainbows and flowers*

The idea of bot!Sam is so interesting to me... All my plotting has involved Sam in some way or another (he's the Allspark! he's gotta be important!) Anyway, r&r lovelies.


	38. Chapter 38

I'm having a transformers fit I guess ;)

* * *

Skywarp stared at the looming energy converters, matte gray in the stark sunlight bouncing down from the distant Sol and up from the pale moon's surface. Ramjet was around somewhere, allegedly cleaning the refractor coils of the older equipment. It'd taken the black and purple Seeker long enough to convince Ramjet to let him out of the other mech's sight: Ramjet was convinced Skywarp wouldn't lift a digit unsupervised. Ramjet was right, of course, but frag it, Skywarp outranked the slagger! He was in the Command Trine, he shouldn't have to do routine maintenance.

Bravura was still awake, frustrated and a little bit afraid. Not about him, if he had to take a guess. Dirge had reported sighting the femme and that annoyance Breakaway flying cross-country, and satellite imagery proved she'd been parked outside a hospital in one of the human capitals for almost a whole day. The one carrying the Allspark, Sam, must still be heavily damaged, or… Frenzy's few snippets of stolen conversation from early that morning implied that something serious was wrong with him.

Skywarp mused on his own thoughts. Sam, the human, him. Neither _it_ nor meat sack… but a legitimate sentient being. Bravura would be proud of him.

His spark still hurt to think that she'd been with someone else not hours after their own incredible sparking. She'd only interfaced with that other mech, that insufferable yellow twin, but it'd had been so much more than _only_ interfacing to him. He'd been totally convinced by her love when their sparks were merging, and yet… how could she go to another mech like that? Easily, apparently.

He wanted to see her again, _so_ badly, to yell at her just once, let out his rage and let it _go_, but… he couldn't shake the idea that she'd betrayed him somehow. Thundercracker had tried to reason with him, pointing out that the mech she'd been with was connected to her, and that they'd both gone through their twins interfacing. The result was practically inevitable, but…

Skywarp was tired of _buts_. He wanted to know what was going on, why she was in Washington D.C. now. He was keeping an eye on her as much as he could, but that was hardly enough. When he got the chance he'd warp in, put together a private link and get out of there like his aft was on fire, then they would have a good long talk. He had to be careful though, the Wreckers were down there, and the Protectobots, and Kup. Skywarp shuddered to think about the living legend, thought to be dead and gone, walking and talking and shooting again. Kup was no mech to be toyed with. He was almost as bad as a Prime.

* * *

I somehow ended up with Tracks the next morning. I apparently needed someone to help me pick an alt mode, so I found myself walking on foot with the cocky mech in order to find a street with a decent amount of traffic.

Looking around, I was at least relieved that there didn't seem to be a shortage of nice looking vehicles. Cars in all shapes and sizes were on the road, many of them my size, and I took heart.

"So, you want something sleek and fast, or just sleek?" Tracks asked with apparent innocence, which I didn't totally buy.

"Maybe I want a tank," I grumbled. "If I'm gonna be stuck on the ground for a month, I might as well mean business."

"You couldn't wear a tank," Tracks said with what I at first took for practicality. "It would completely ruin your figure."

I pressed my palms to my optics, the scrape of metal on my cheeks expressing my frustration beautifully.

"Stop that!" Tracks slapped my hands from my face, leaning close to inspect the tiny scratches the pressure would've left in the bright largely unpainted metal of my face.

It would be almost invisible by tomorrow, and yet he was clucking over the tiny imperfections like a mother hen. "You need to learn to take care of yourself. You're not made of putty anymore, you know."

"I know," I answered dryly, though I wasn't entirely sure if I meant it. My day in a hologram had been… disorienting. If not for Sam, I wouldn't do it again. I didn't like the discrepancy between my real body and what could have been my real body.

Tracks glared at me, his eyes glowing weakly against the sunlight behind him, then let out a sigh of warm air and turned back to the road.

"Why not that one?" he asked, pointing at an expensive looking red car.

"No," I sighed. My sensors said it would fit, but I didn't like the idea of wearing Hot Rod red. Or even Sideswipe red. No, I wanted low key, blue or white, and I told Tracks so.

"So… mod it," Tracks suggested.

"Never done it before," I admitted to the taller mech, feeling stupid.

"No? It's easy, once you get the right coding. I could give it to you, help you make it fit perfectly. I'd make you beautiful." His voice dropped to a near purr and I got the idea that he'd be helping with more than my alt mode.

"It's just for a month," I said, stepping away from the fighter who was suddenly far too near me for comfort, pretending to peer at a distant vehicle. "It doesn't need any TLC as far as I'm concerned."

"You can always use it later, you know. On your planes. You could make planes that are a little too big, or a little too small, fit better. Like the big jet you arrived in. It was an F-35 like Breakaway's, wasn't it?" His voice dropped off to a near whisper, the possibility tantalizing.

I turned back to Tracks, skeptical. "How much bigger can it be?"

"The more you fiddle with it, the more likely it's not going to be as good as the original, as efficient and reliable. But if you're careful and meticulous enough you can make an alt mode out of anything. Within reason, I mean… you couldn't do it alone. I have experience, from splicing jet and ground bound prints."

It had never occurred to me that I could mod the _size_ of my alt mode. So, when the month was over, if I got help I could wear a real jet again? No doubt any mech could show me how to modify an alt mod, not just Tracks. I'd have to be surreptitious about it though. I didn't expect anybot wanted to set me loose with a real engine. Still, I was getting excited just thinking about it.

Grinning, I shrugged to the self-assured bot. "Maybe later. Thanks though."

Tracks stood with me for nearly a half an hour, scanning cars with me and offering suggestions. He spotted the Porsche 911 before I did, a lighter model than I'd known six years ago.

"Even without modding, you should look great in that," he said thoughtfully. He reminded me of a metro human, intensely focused on appearances but still firmly masculine. "Not much of a color though."

I lifted the scan, not minding the pale silver. It was the sort of color that would blend in, something I was not opposed to one little bit.

Tracks let me fly back to the Trion, it being my last flight for a month and all. I did manage to force a thank you to the cocky mech for his company, but when I beat him to the Trion I ducked inside and made my way to First Aid's repair bay on my own.

The medic was there doing what appeared to be routine maintenance on his teammate, Blades. First Aid waved an acknowledgment to me, so I went to one of the exam tables and began to remove my alt mode. I could reach everything if I tried hard enough, but I preferred to take my time until First Aid was free to help me unlatch the more difficult bits. Still, the pile of white and blue plating and engineering (my spark cried when the essential components to my engine came loose) grew faster than I wanted. In less than fifteen minutes the red and white mech was freeing the final pieces of my Tweet.

"I hated this bird while I had it," I grumbled. "Now I can barely stand to lose it." I growled, a high-pitched imitation of Skywarp's boulder grumble.

"I'll save the parts for you," First Aid assured me. "All you'll have to do is reconfigure, it will save your energy."

I nodded, though if my new plans went through I'd have my own miniature F-35 to play with by the end of the month.

* * *

The first time my wheels hit the ground my whole body panicked. _Too low, too low!_ My sensibilities were going haywire. My undercarriage was mere inches from the ground, I could only move in two dimensions, and not even freely… I could only go where my wheels let me, and slag it, that wasn't saying much!

Hot Rod was alert to my dread, but he didn't raise me on the comm. He knew exactly what was going on. I pushed my engine oh so gently, letting myself roll forward a tad. I hadn't been on wheels in years, and I was cautious.

"You ok there?" Groove called. He was waiting for me at the end of the pier. He was going to escort me to the hospital to relieve Bumblebee, whose hologram was going to give out within the hour.

"Yes," I ground out, pushing my engine harder. I reflexively hit the brakes when I jerked forward, then tried again. Calculations were rolling through the purely synthetic side of my mind, but my emotional and far more dominant side was preventing me from taking full advantage of its information.

By the end of the dock I had a decent measure of control over my engine and followed the Protectobot without too much fuss. It wasn't until we hit traffic that I began to panic.

A red car was too close behind me. A yellow car was too close on my left. The curb bumped my right wheel as I tried to edge away. I wanted to pull up into the open air, but I couldn't. I slammed on my brakes when the car in front of me flashed its brake lights unexpectedly.

"Groove!" I gasped. He was in the other lane a few cars spaces away, but he couldn't get enough space to turn around and come back to me. His hologram was a man in his thirties, wearing a face that was an inexplicable cross between a hippy and a biker, and he looked concerned.

"Bravura?" he called.

"I can't breathe," I choked, ignoring my logic processor when it corrected me.

"What? You're overheating?"

"No!" Traffic moved again as a light changed ahead and my nerves tightened down on me even more. "I can't do this. I have to get out of here. I can't do this!" I transformed thoughtlessly, slamming my hands on the concrete and launching to my feet as soon as I could.

"Whoa, stop!" Groove yelled over the sudden honking and screaming I'd caused. Several cars crashed bumper to bumper as I began to clumsily weave through them, alternating between sidewalk and street as space became available. The Protectobot kept up in his alt mode until traffic forced him to transform too. "Calm down, Bravura! Stop!"

I froze, realizing how insane I was acting but unwilling to return to the road. I was about to tell Groove I couldn't do it again when there was a familiar boom just over my head. A dark shape slammed into the concrete behind me.

"Warp?" I gasped, stumbling against a building and breaking several windows behind me. A woman screamed inside.

He looked over me at Groove then glanced down at me, his body language urgent. His optics raked up and down my new silver form then arms snapped out and he spun me around to face Groove, kneeling and placing a clawed hand over my chest in what I was sure seemed a threatening manner. _You're ground bound? Is that why you panicked? _

I nodded, understanding his question, and he turned his attention back to Groove. The small mech was pointing a gun over me at Skywarp, but the Autobot couldn't get a clear shot through me.

"Get out of here, I'm warning you," the mech said calmly. "I don't want to shoot you, but there are about a dozen mechs on their way who do."

Skywarp growled and pulled me closer against him. With his free hand he grabbed my pliant wrist and opening it to reveal my port and cable. Before I thought to protest, he plugged into me and shot into my system like a benevolent bullet train. I recognized what he was doing moments after he began and assisted in the process of creating a comm. link. Seconds later, the mech who I'd been terrified to see again left my ports empty and stepped away.

Not a moment too soon. From down the street, somebody fired a shot that connected squarely with the heavily armored Seeker's back. He bumped against me, pushing me forward a foot or two. I winced at the pain his sensitive wings must be in. Whoever was firing tried for more, but Skywarp just jumped into the air and warped mere feet from me. A plasma round hit the sidewalk next to me and splattered hot concrete everywhere, but that was the last. The sudden void of air sucked me backward and my sudden loss of balance tilted me into the already broken wall of the building behind me.

_Are you ok?_ I asked on the brand new link, elation and shock pinning me to the building, which was groaning under my not insignificant weight.

_Yes. Are you?_

_Yes._

_Act like you aren't,_ he ordered. _If Megatron finds out I came here without orders and did absolutely nothing… I'm already in a bad spot with him, Bravura._

I pushed from the broken building and sank to my knees, unsure about what injury to fake. I opted for internal disarray, hunching over and staring mostly at the ground. Surreptitious glances told me everything I need to know.

"Bravura!" Several mechs, including Groove, were calling my name, but they were having a hard time making it to the Protectobot and me through the disarray of morning traffic. Springer's chopper mode settled nearer me than the others, but as he rose to his feet I knew he wasn't there to defend me from the other Autobots.

"What in frell is happening here?" Kup's voice rose above the din, furious and accusatory.

"Seeker was reported," Springer responded irritably.

"I _know_ that! Which one, why was he here, what did he want and did he get it?"

Springer stepped over several cars on his way to me, bending low over my crouched form. Kup was abreast with the taller mech now, and the other Autobots who'd managed to arrive so quickly had already begun examining the whole area. I could hear Bluestreak trying to calm to panicked humans. Police cars were already massing on the edges of the mess of traffic.

"Can you move?" Springer asked me quietly.

I darted a look into the mech's optics, then faked a jerk much like what had plagued me before the accident with Sam. I landed against the solid support of the Wrecker, dimming my optics.

_I'm fine! I'm perfectly fine, but you have to act like I'm hurt. _

_Why?_ Springer slipped his hands under me as if to help me stay upright, cradling me carefully as if I were damaged. I turned my head towards him to avoid Kup's glare.

_Please just don't freak out,_ I responded, nervous. Skywarp probably wouldn't like that, but… they couldn't be broadcasting he'd just flown in and plugged into me for the frell of it, Skywarp's own faction would kill him. I had to make some calls, and I was more than glad Hot Rod and I had made the comm link. The chopper's expression was suspicious.

_Hot Rod, can you please tell Springer to trust me? Skywarp just blasted in, made a link with me then left and now everybody and his dog is out here wanting to know what's going on. If the Decepticons find out Skywarp was making a link with me they'll kill him!_

Hot Rod, his distant spark suddenly stunned, answered after a moment. _I'll tell him. I'll explain everything. Tell Skywarp they know._

Sucking in a deep intake, I waited for a sign that Springer was listening to my brother. The mech's optics shuttered slightly, then he glances down at me. Judging by the surprise that was rapidly growing in his expression, he was getting the picture.

_Warp,_ I mumbled into the new comm link. _They know about us now. We had to tell them._

_No!_ The volume wasn't loud in my mind, but the aggression in his tone was overpowering.

_Do you want word to get back that you flew in here and plugged into me without trying to shut me down? You better start coming up with a good story about why you wanted to see me so badly, because without the Autobots' cooperation to make you look like the bad guy… Warp, please!_

He was still emotionally obstinate, but he didn't verbally explode again.

_They have to know,_ I pleaded with him for understanding. _They can help protect you this way. Spread news about… a virus or something you gave me. Make Frenzy corroborate your story, make him say he gave you some coding or something. _

_Why would I try to give you a virus?_ He asked wearily.

_Because… because you're mad, because I insulted you in the sea base. Because you knew it would piss off Dirge. I don't know, Warp! But you have to come up with something._

_I will._

He was emotionally walling himself up from me again, strange after he'd so impulsively barged in and made it so that we _could_ talk. Hopefully his trine would help him get through everything smoothly. Well, Thundercracker might. Starscream would just watch, if I were to make a bet.

* * *

"She's clean," First Aid sighed after doing a full systems check for the third time. "She's in perfect working order, and her spark is still showing signs of recent activity. Rodimus confirms it, she's established a spark bond with the Seeker. He wouldn't give a virus to his bondmate, Kup. She's not going to turn on us."

"What if she does, to impress her new bond?" Kup snapped. "She's not even a half a vorn old and she's bonding the enemy. What if she gets stupid?"

"She'd be sexually mature as a human," First Aid said uncomfortably. "A female her age could have had several chil-"

"She _is_ a child!" Kup roared. "She's a youngling running around in a femme's body, and she ain't got a lick of sense to show for her size. A Seeker! She's been running off to get touchy feely with a slaggin' Seeker, and the most unpredictable and dangerous one she could get her claws into!" The angrier he got, the more Kup seemed to dissolve into a distinctly midwestern drill sergeant's accent.

"I don't know about most dangerous," I grumbled, secretly proud of my bondmate. Sure, he'd earned that reputation doing sickening, horrible things, but… he made Kup nervous. I liked that.

"As if it made a difference to you," Kup growled at me. "He is dangerous enough to rip your pretty little head off your scrawny little shoulders without so much as an optic shutter, and you're stuck with him _for life._ Not a just a vorn, but a full Cybertronian _lifetime!_"

I glanced at First Aid, begging for relief.

"Kup, I don't know that you're helping," the medic mumbled. "Let her brother talk to her."

"Oh, _Rodimus_ and I are going to have a good long talk," Kup threatened, pacing from one end of the repair bay to the other. "Don't get me start on the _Prime!_ Days, he's let this go under the radar for _days!_ The enemy could have used her for any number of sneak attacks, and he didn't tell anybot!"

I straightened up from my place on First Aid's exam table, nervous. "He won't do that," I protested. "He's not going to try to hurt us, I swear. I saw."

Kup wheeled on me and clanked to my table, his feet hitting the ground harder than necessary. He jammed his finger against my chest, knocking me back a few inches. "He will turn on you to protect his trine, femme. Don't you go thinking that because you have a magical connection with him that he's tame now. He ain't."

The cigar-like contraption in his mouth creaked when he clamped his denta down too hard, but then Kup was out of the medbay and the tension in the room lifted palpably.

"You really got him worked up," First Aid said with forced cheer. "He'll calm down once he gets after Rodimus a little."

I groaned, finally relaxing a little and allowing myself to slump forward stiffly. "You can't tell everyone. They might talk, they could give it away without meaning to."

"They might shoot your bondmate if they don't know," First Aid pointed out, putting a hand on my shoulder. "If he's changed like you say he is… Optimus would take him. He doesn't have to play this game."

"He won't bite," I muttered. "He's too proud, too convinced he could never belong with you. And he's still loyal to Megatron, I think. He hates betrayal." I knew well enough how much.

* * *

An hour later, Hound was going with me to the hospital. Bumblebee absolutely could not last any longer, and if the scout went with me it would help Skywarp with a virus planting excuse. I needed observation, in case my trip to the med bay hadn't been enough. Unfortunately, Hound thought I was really recovering and was treating me with friendly caution.

It was easier control myself on the road this time, though it helped that Hound never allowed another car to get between us. I did _not_ like being trapped on the ground, but I had to adjust. Panicking every time I had to drive somewhere wasn't an option, or rather, I refused to be that weak. My physical weakness had lasted long enough, but I didn't want to replace it with some new psychological tic.

Hound parked next to me in the parking lot, and he came with me in his holoform, up to Sam's room. Bumblebee was sitting next to the bed, eerily still to conserve energy. He nodded to us, muttered a thank you and rushed from the room. Hound went out into the hall to watch Bee's failing hologram make it back to the parking lot then came back to find me standing nervously in the middle of Sam's room.

Hound squeezed my shoulder a little as he passed me to go to Sam's bedside. The man unconscious on the bed looked better, less bruised. I wasn't fooled, and when I sat next to Sam's bed by Hound it was with resigned sorrow.

* * *

Tell me what you wanna see, I know the general direction I'm going in but I need fillers and fun :)


	39. Chapter 39

Hmm… lotsa people have read through OE in the last few days, but not much through FI. I don't blame ya xD But dang, you new folks musta been confused.

* * *

"Take a breath, Bravura," Hound reminded me after an hour or so. "You would've died by now if you were a human."

Useless air sucked into my false lungs as I jerked out of my thoughts. The trine was fighting, bickering with someone or each other. Skywarp was the most defensive, so it was probably about his little visit. I didn't want to distract him, so I held back the urge to raise him on the comm every two minutes.

I let my head, which was lolled back against the back of the hospital chair, tilt towards Hound lazily.

"They want me to pick a mentor while I'm here," I told Hound in case he hadn't heard. "Prowl had you on his list of maybes."

"Yes, he contacted me about it before you came. I told him that I would be willing if you were interested in learning."

The ceiling over Sam's bed was the usual white speckled tiles of spongey-looking mystery materials. "My other options, the ones Prowl mentioned anyway, are communications and medical repair."

"Didn't you work in Tricora after we rescued you?" Hound was twirling a holographic pencil through his fingers, an impressive but not impossible feat for a regular human.

"Yes, but I didn't learn much. They were afraid to let me near actual patients, and it was months before I learned to read Cybertronian without having to stop for help all the time. I know how to use all my first aid equipment, and I know the theory behind a lot of repairs I've never actually done. But I don't like repairs, don't like thinking a bot's life is in my hands."

Hound let me talk, and I realized how comforting his presence was. Even doused in the strange senses of my hologram's body, he made things feel natural. Something needed to feel normal, an essential that hadn't been apparent to me before. Everything else was so very far from it.

"What's it like to scout?" I asked quietly.

"Dangerous," Hound said without preamble. "You go into the unknown looking for trouble… and if you don't find it, it could mean you lose your team. After a while, you start praying you find the enemy, because then at least you know where they are. You get paranoid."

Wide-eyed, I stared at Hound where he sat relaxed in his chair. "I wouldn't have guessed."

"You learn to deal, you cope. Like I cope, blending in with the natives. It's good for my work, which helps, but mostly it's for the stress. I don't think Prowl intended to have you serve as a scout, though. The holographic part would be helpful to you."

Hound was being blunt with me so that I didn't look at his job as romantic or simply exciting, I knew that. Still, what other choice would get me out of a room with no sky and at least moving? Communications and repair were both indoor activities. Still, I had a month to make up my mind.

Bumblebee came back late that night. He parked next to me in the lot, his holoform climbing out and silently leaning against me.

"How is he?" the human shape asked quietly.

"The same," I answered. "Hasn't moved, but the doctor came in and said he looks better."

The shape against my door stiffened. "Someone came in? Who? What was the doctor's name?"

"Uh… I didn't check his tag. Maybe Hound saw."

Bumblebee groaned, his fists clenching. "The only doctor with permission to come in is a woman. A redhead. I told you yesterday!"

I was dumbfounded. I truly didn't remember him saying anything about which doctors were allowed to look at Sam.

"He wasn't wearing a tag, and I didn't look at his clipboard," Hound said hesitantly. "Slag…" The holoform in the hospital room was on his feet immediately. "Stay here. Don't let anyone but one of us come in. No doctors, no nurses. Look for surveillance equipment, I'll be back to help in a minute."

"I'm sorry," I said to the yellow Camaro next to me, since his holoform was already pelting across the parking lot.

"How could you just forget?" the stressed mech snapped.

"We all make mistakes," Hound said grimly on the other side of me. "I messed up too, Bumblebee, don't take it out on her. She got hit with a virus this morning."

"A virus?" Bumblebee shrieked. "She had a virus this morning and they let her near Sam?"

In moments Bumblebee had transformed and he was pointing a rather imposing plasma gun right at me. It glowed furiously in the patchy light of the parking lots, his eyes burning hatefully behind it. Hound also transformed and stood, empty hands up as he started to slowly edge around me. His holoform came back into hospital the room and lit on my shocked face.

"He's about to break, Bravura. Don't move. Let me handle this." He came and sat by me, snatching my hand before getting a distant expression. I turned my attention fully to my real body.

"I was there the whole time. She didn't touch Sam once. First Aid said she's clean, Bumblebee. She's not here to hurt Sam."

"She let a stranger into his room! It could've been a Decepticon!"

Bumblebee burst into the hospital room, his human face torn with rage and terror. He looked wildly between Sam and me. One moment he was darting glances between us, in the next he was across the room slamming my chair backwards with his hands around my neck. Hound wrenched him off with his holoform, while out in the parking lot he used Bumblebee's new distraction to strike out at the humming plasma gun, knocking it up and away from me.

I transformed, narrowly escaping a stray shot from the maddened Camaro as Hound wrestled him to the ground. In the hospital room Bumblebee was winning, but I was less concerned there. If something happened to our holoforms we'd be fine, it was our real bodies I wanted to protect.

Bumblebee kicked the real Hound's legs out and the green mech started to lose his grip on the Camaro's flailing arms, but as Bee struggled to get up I extended one of my blades and smashed it into his forearm, slashing a small but essential line and a few wires that would hopefully keep his gun from firing. Energon gushed from the severed line as I yanked my blade out, glowing bright blue in the dark light before fading. Bee managed to grab my retreating wrist with his other hand and wrench it painfully before Hound dragged him back down.

A police siren wailed into the parking lot, replaced by the sound of a transformation as Streetwise dove in to help Hound. I stepped away, letting the stronger mechs subdue Bumblebee.

In the hospital room, Hound had dragged my senseless form to the door, his arms hooked under mine hard enough to break a normal person. I snapped my attention back and made myself stand on my own.

"We won't touch Sam," Hound murmured. "We don't want to hurt him, Bee."

"How could you let someone in here?" he nearly sobbed, hunched over Sam's still form. "A Decepticon could've done anything to him. I trusted you. How could you?"

* * *

"He's calmed down," Bluestreak told me with awkward cheer the next morning, sitting across from me at the bench in the rec room of the Trion. "Blaster and First Aid say he's really upset about attacking you, he just lost it for a minute But I heard he's sorry for pulling a gun on you. He's just really stressed out right now, but he'll be ok. Later today, Kup's going to assign someone to go with you back to the hospital."

I nodded, rubbing a finger over the edge of my Energon cube. "Any idea who the doctor was?" I asked quietly. Skywarp had ignored my queries, so if he knew anything he wasn't talking. Deep down, my question was more like _why do you keep throwing me at Sam? How am I supposed to help him?_ But that wasn't going to do any good.

The gunner shook his head. "The hospital has confirmed that he's not one of theirs, and the security cameras show him just walking in from past the parking lot. None of the street cameras caught him on his way there, so it's almost certain he was a Decepticon. Probably a pretender. But don't worry, if Hound didn't even catch it it's not like you would've been expected to."

"I swear, I don't remember him telling me to keep other doctors out of the room," I grumbled. It had been bothering me all morning.

"Maybe he didn't," Bluestreak said with a shrug. "He's not his usual self. Or maybe he did, and that virus from this morning left you kind of out of it. Either way, it was just an accident, and Sam's ok. There wasn't even any surveillance equipment left in the room, but they're moving him to another room just in case. In a few days they're going to take him to the Trion, and from there they'll decide to either keep him here or send him to the City."

My first instinct was to protest, but instead I limited myself to a sigh. "So… they might send Sam away. I might not be able to see him after he wakes up."

"I don't know," Blue admitted. "Maybe they'll send you back. This whole Sam situation has been kind of unexpected, you know. You're probably the only thing in the universe that knows what he's going to go through, so it makes the most sense to make sure you're around to help him."

"Or just give him to Mirage," I smiled. "That mech kept me sane."

"Bumblebee will do that for him," Bluestreak grinned back. "When he wakes up, that is. How long did it take you to change?"

"Uh… A month, give or take. I wasn't made by the Allspark, though, so Sam could be a mech tomorrow, or a year from now."

"I hope it's soon, for Bumblebee's sake. He needs a break."

"I wish I could help, if he'd let me," I sighed. "I don't know if he'll even let me in the parking lot now."

"Optimus has been talking to him, and Ratchet's sending his most thorough antivirus programs to First Aid through Breakaway tonight. They'll give you another check, and maybe we can prove to Bee that you're ok now."

I nodded, resisting the urge to flatten my face against the table.

"Bravura?"

Hound was standing at the end of the table. He had several swaths of missing paint, much like Bee and Streetwise.

"Hey, Hound. Sorry about the scratches."

"Not your fault." He smiled so convincingly that I actually believed he didn't blame me. "I noticed you had some trouble keeping your focus in both bodies today. Would you like to work on that?"

I stared at the scout for a minute, finally nodding. "Yeah, I would… I hadn't really thought about it. There's a way to fix it?"

"Sure is. Some bots never need to worry about it, they just do it without thinking. Some don't. You can train your processor, though. You've got the capacity; your electron pathways just have to learn to fire more than they're used to."

"Any way I could help?" Bluestreak offered. "I don't have a patrol until late this evening."

"Sure," Hound chuckled. "The more the merrier. Maybe we can even get you set up with one of the backup holos. I don't know why you never picked one up."

Bluestreak shrugged. "Just never got around to it… they sure keep us busy. I'm not used to having all this spare time. Sometimes it seems like I'm practically on vacation between fights."

"There's no sense in that. Meet me in the training room in a half an hour and you can both learn a thing or two," Hound said, a grin on his faceplates.

* * *

Hound let me help Bluestreak create his holoform. I only had to ask the scout for advice a few times, but luckily Bluestreak wasn't as picky as me. He ended up a cinnamon-skinned man with dark hair and blazing blue eyes, about the height of Hot Rod's holoform. Most of the mechs' holos seemed to be around the same height, which left me to wonder if it was some coincidence, calculation, or if they just called each other up to find out what everyone else was wearing. Even the eyes matched.

"You all wear these true-blue eyes," I began, eying first Bluestreak and then Hound. "But when I saw Reverb in the City his eyes were almost black. Why do you tip yourselves off if the Cons don't?"

Hound smiled. "It's a sign of solidarity, unity, and it reminds those of us who use the holoforms of what we really are. Actually, we almost all use the exact same wavelength of blue."

"Oh," I said, startled. I turned my Cybertronian gaze to Blue's face and realized his eyes really did match Hound's.

"Yours are a little darker," Blue said, peering down at me the same way I'd inspected him. "But a regular human would never notice. Besides, we all know who you are." Next to my holo, Blue shoved his hands in his pockets, his human smile more than a little charming.

"Not a problem," Hound assured me. "Mirage uses a different shade too. But on to the holoforms… Bluestreak, you've used holos before, right? Did you have trouble splitting your focus?"

"Some," Bluestreak shrugged. "I just figured I'm never in holos anyway, so it didn't matter."

"Well, not for your specialty, no," Hound nodded. "But for Bravura's sake, I'd like you two to spar. With both holoforms and your own bodies."

I peered over at the real Blue, smirking. He was too easy going, I couldn't imagine him giving me a hard time. Not at first anyway. Then I looked at his human holoform, and I realized he was playfully mirroring my own smirk.

"You won't even know what hit you," I growled, moving into the bounds of the training zone. My human form wandered just inside the line once I'd reached the center.

"Just because I know guns, don't think I don't know hand-to-hand," Blue warned, stepping over my human form and approaching me with confidence in his step and a friendly grin on his faceplates. Maybe he wasn't going to be as easy as I'd thought.

"Whenever you're ready," Hound called over a faint buzz as he threw his own holo down to supervise our human forms.

"Ready?" I asked Blue from my real body.

"I was sparked ready," he answered from his human form.

I lunged forward with my real body, making as if to try and hit the mech in front of me. He raised his arms and changed his stance as I shifted my aim. My ankle crossed his, and by grabbing his elbow with just the right push he found himself falling backwards. Meanwhile, my human form was already on its knees, trapped in an arm lock that could've been excruciating if Blue had cared to make it.

"Well, that was interesting," Hound said. "Neither of you distributed your focus. I guess it's pretty obvious who went where, huh?" I smiled, embarrassed as Blue helped my human form up even as I lugged his real body to his feet. He pulled back, making me stumble, and found myself on the ground next to him.

"Hey!" I yelped, socking his shoulder with a clang. "I was being nice!"

"I'm not being mean," he grinned, giving me a little shove back.

"I'll show you mean," I couldn't help my little feral smile as his holoform lunged at mine even as I pounced on the bigger mech.

* * *

"I didn't know holos could ache," I moaned, sprawled on the floor at Hound's holo feet. My real body sat next to Blue against the wall, not especially tired but a little strained from the rough play we'd been at for almost two hours.

"Mine doesn't," Blue wheedled, nudging my holo's shoulder with his foot.

"Ow," I groaned, grabbing his foot and using it to pull myself up. "Hurrrts."

"Baby," he sniggered.

"Bully," I shot back.

"Cocky."

"Chatty."

"What's wrong with chatty?"

"What's wrong with cocky?"

We both laughed, and I let myself lean forward over my knees. "Man, this feels good. Haven't been sweaty and tired like _this_ since…" I trailed off, clearing my throat as my thoughts swiftly turned to Sam.

Hound strode back in from his trip to the rec room, bringing a couple of cubes of Energon with him. Blue and I wrestled a little, trying to use the other to shove up, until the mech let me win and I helped him to his feet in return. The whole session had made me feel much closer to the gunner, and in the back of my mind I could feel Skywarp's jealousy building. He couldn't know whom my sense of camaraderie was directed at, but I could imagine his thoughts.

* * *

Filler, filler... I should wait til I get another few thousand words written up, since I've got some actual ACTION planned for them... but I'm no good like that.

For all ya'll reading and not reviewing... Review. *cracks whip* For those of you who have been, thank you, I love you 3


	40. Chapter 40

If you're not reading "Experiments in Human Nature" by Keelywolfe, get your aft over there and check out the whole series! Holy Nikes, it's an amazing series and it just keeps getting better. It's heavily slash, and M rated, and holoform sticky. You may recall long ago, this story was the one that got me over my fear of holoforms.

To try and get her to find the time in her hideously busy schedule what with basic training coming up and all (belated CONGRATULATIONS!) dixiegurl13's "Crosswinds" is a friggin' amazing story featuring Starscream n Alexis, some insane aerial scenes and just downright goodness. So, go read it and tell her how much you love it!

* * *

"Your life should be incentive enough," Skywarp roared. The only thing stopping him from crushing Barricade's face and cramming it into a tree trunk was Thundercracker. His brother seized the purple and black Seeker's shoulder, preventing the imminent assault. Barricade was unfazed.

"You owe me," Barricade hissed. "I should've reported you yesterday, you were all the Autobots were talking about. You're lucky nobody else has heard about it, kitestrings."

"That makes you one _un_lucky mech," Skywarp rumbled.

"Frenzy already agreed to say he helped if anyone finds out," Thundercracker pointed out irritably. "If you turn on us, you turn on your own bondmate."

"Just because Frenzy said he'd do it doesn't mean he will," Barricade snapped. "And frankly, I don't know that his involvement is going to help you anyway. Megatron is still going to blow a circuit when he finds out you acted without orders to do something so completely ineffective to a useless neutral. Finding out more than one bot was in on it will only make it worse."

"So don't _tell him,_" Skywarp said, throwing up his hands as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Let all this go, and we'll go right back to normal. Or I kill you."

"One transmission and you're all dead," Barricade growled. "Don't even try to scare me, Seeker."

"I don't have to try," Skywarp snapped, ripping himself away from Thundercracker only to be stopped by Starscream. His commander and trinemate stared up the few inches difference in their height, giving Skywarp a surprisingly calm and meaningful look before pushing him back to TC and turning to Barricade himself. Skywarp could feel Starscream's inner anger, making the front even more impressive. Starscream only controlled himself when he had the upper hand.

"You tried to duck out of the fight in Mission City, didn't you," Starscream crooned. "You were going to leave Megatron and Brawl and Blackout to die before Optimus found you, Barricade. Megatron has never questioned your survival, but then he's a very busy mech. Considering Frenzy's latest involvement with Skywarp's suspicious activity, wouldn't you say it's in your best interest to keep this quiet? We wouldn't want Megatron to think you and your bond have turned traitor."

"He'll see right through you," Barricade growled. "Megatron wou-"

"Megatron would kill you," Starscream hissed. "After losing the Allspark he wants to kill someone so very badly, Barricade, and it's not going to be my trine. Besides, interceptor, tell anyone, and I'll torture Frenzy. I'll use him for some experimentation while you wait to die at Megatron's hand. I'll make sure you get to feel him extinguished, slowly and painfully. Probably confused, too, poor little halfclock that he is. Don't. Tell. Anyone."

Barricade clenched his denta, then hunched his shoulders in submission before transforming and skidding away awkwardly on the soft dirt of the copse where they hid.

Once the engine had faded away, Skywarp put his hand on Starscream's shoulder. "Thank you, brother."

Starscream knocked the hand away, shooting his brother a disdainful look before stepping back and leaping skywards, leaving them behind with a shuffle of gray metal.

Thundercracker sighed, exchanging a glance with Warp. Their red optics burned, but the intensity broke and they chuckled.

"That was… nice. Having Screamer stand up for me. He hasn't done that in a long time."

"I know," TC sighed, clapping Skywarp on the back. "It was like the old days."

Skywarp grinned. "Want it to _really_ feel like the old days?"

The blue Seeker eyed Skywarp with surprise followed by growing interest, stepping a little closer. "You mean, make him wantto come back?"

Skywarp closed the difference between them, meeting his trinemate in a somewhat awkward embrace. He hadn't been with TC, or Starscream for that matter, much since Frequency died. Half a vorn had passed before he'd even let Screamer touch him after his brother killed her, and even after that things hadn't been right. But it felt right now, and Screamer seemed to feel it to.

Skywarp arched into his trinemate's chest and the blue Seeker's fingers found his wings. He dug his own blunted claws into the armor where blue wings met his brother's body. Within a few moments they could already hear Starscream coming back.

* * *

"Nngh," I groaned, twisting in the hospital chair next to Sam's bed.

"Getting stiff?" Tracks asked.

"What?" I hissed, distracted. Down in the parking lot, my cooling units kicked into overdrive as my bondmate and Thundercracker started to get heated. It was the most infuriating sort of pleasure, reflected and echoed between their bonds almost to the point where I thought I was actually part of it. But not enough. My lines burned, my sparked hissed in its casing.

"Oh, Primus," I moaned, writhing in my chair.

"Bravura?" Tracks asked, his supermodel holoform rising to its feet. I hadn't wanted to watch over Sam with him, but he was the only mech free who had a holo. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," I snapped, trying to get a hold of myself. I could fight the delicious fire melting into me through Skywarp, I could ride it out like Sunstreaker had ridden out the sparking a few days ago. Oh, God.

"I'm calling First Aid," Tracks murmured, and I realized I'd moaned again.

_Hot Rod,_ I sent to my brother while my real body buzzed and my holoform's heart pounded.

_I know._

_ Please don't find Sideswipe,_ I begged.

_I couldn't even if I wanted to,_ he assured me. _I'm in a meeting, which… is getting very awkward… Sis…_

I whimpered as Starscream suddenly began to put off the same waves of horrible pleasure.

_You can never get angry at me for interfacing one of my brother's bonds again,_ I snarled into Skywarp's link. I felt a puff of shock, then anger, which was quickly soothed by a delicious ripple of pleasure I could practically feel in my own wings. I couldn't handle this. I didn't even have real wings anymore, unless you counted slagging _door_ wings. Judging by Hot Rod's own rising nervousness, he was having trouble too.

_We'll talk,_ Skywarp sent huskily.

"Stay with Sam, would you Tracks?" I asked, the same husky tone coming out of me as my holoform shuddered.

"I'll see you in the parking lot," he said seriously, grabbing me by the shoulders and guiding me to the door before pushing me from the room. If something was wrong with me he wouldn't want me anywhere near Sam.

I was just making it down to the parking lot when Blaster piped up on a merchant line. _Sunstreaker wants me to tell you that he doesn't want to listen to "this." Any clue?_

_ Yeah… thanks, Blaster._

Sunstreaker, the odd one out, didn't want to put up with the Decepticons, his enemies, getting hot and heavy. I had no idea how to block Skywarp, whose bond to me was inherently different from my brother's. I could do Hot Rod, though, and save the three Autobots the stress. Blocking him intentionally would hurt me, true enough, but leave Hot Rod with a blessedly numb hole in his spark. I waited until I'd made it to my real body, transforming and putting the holo generator away before taking a deep breath and deliberately clamping down on my spark-deep connection to my brother.

Between the furious passion coming from one bond and the aching wound which instantly burned my spark from the loss of its twin, I couldn't help sinking to my behind on the concrete shaking.

"He's almost here," Tracks reassured me, transformed without my noticing. He put his arm around me, and I didn't hate the contact. It helped, the solid connection to someone else, even if it felt more like he was restraining me more than comforting.

"Hurts," I managed to mutter, curling my legs up to my spark. The intensity of the ache should've faded until it was nearly bearable, but apparently the stimulation from Skywarp was postponing that relief. As soon as they were done, I would-

_What are you doing?_ Hot Rod roared into our link. _Why are you blocking me? Are you ok?_

_Sunny asked me to,_ I mumbled back.

_Slag him sideways! Stop blocking me, that's an order._

_ An order, brother…?_

He was silent for a long moment as First Aid skidded into the parking lot, but started talking around the time the medic did.

"This is impossible, nothing showed on the scanners," First Aid fretted for Tracks' benefit.

_If he wants out so_ badly, _he can block Sideswipe until you're done. You don't have to be alone!_

"I'm doing another, maybe if it's active I'll catch it," the medic huffed, pushing me flat on the concrete and opening my chest.

_ It's for you and Sides too,_ I protested. _Just a little longer and I'll come right back. I swear._

_ I'm gonna kill him,_ my brother hissed before cutting off his transmission with a static snarl.

First Aid was staring at my spark, not even trying to jack into me yet.

"Oh, you're…" he trailed off. "I've seen this before."

I nudged my hand to his knee. _Yeah, the trine is having a freakfest. Sorry, I didn't want to make a fuss. You know? It's just so intense, I mean…_

_ Your spark is about to hop out of your chest,_ First Aid sighed. _Do you want me to sedate you?_

_That's an option?_ I joked, curling my hands into fists and pulling my legs up a little as Thundercracker did something _incredible_ to Starscream… or was it Skywarp to Starscream? I couldn't tell anymore.

"I'm sedating her," First Aid informed Tracks as he transformed his hand into a series of needles. I cringed, the thought of drugs bringing flashes of yellow wings and citrine optics into my mind's eye. Before my anxiety could peak, the medic had stabbed me in the neck with one of his collection. Almost instantly I felt the drug begin to take effect and I melted into the concrete, though my spark was still a storm of energy.

"But Sam," I protested. "And the parking lot."

"Tracks will stay here. Springer can airlift you back to the Trion. Everything will be fine," First Aid assured me as he closed my chassis.

_Sedated me,_ I grumbled to Hot Rod before my optics began to fill with ink and I faded away.

* * *

Someone was holding my hand. I yanked it away, not knowing who had the audacity to do it and not really caring to remain that way.

"Hey," a calm voice murmured to me. I onlined my optics instantly, unsteadily forcing myself up through lingering traces of sedative.

"Hot Rod?" I gasped. "How'd you get here?"

"Stratosphere gave some of us a lift. You've been under for hours, First Aid thought you needed it."

The room was bright, but it took me a moment to realize we were in the repair bay of the Trion. I released the uncomfortable block in my spark, sighing with relief as the now dull hurt in my chest was replaced with the comforting presence of my brother, as well as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker.

"Man," I groaned. "That was a lot easier to do when I didn't know I was doing it," I'd unconsciously blocked Hot Rod long ago, back when things were a simpler.

With a clatter of metal I found myself trapped in my brother's arms, my spark joyfully leaping in its casing.

"This is all too much," he whispered so that I could barely hear. "I can't handle this anymore."

Regretfully, all his stress was my fault. Bonding Skywarp had created a situation that none of us were ready to handle. My brother knew my guilt, so I didn't say anything, just hugged him helplessly and tried to imagine a world where I hadn't screwed everything up so royally.

The door to the medbay swooshed open and First Aid came in. Hot Rod reluctantly let me go, straightening and giving his attention to the medical officer while keeping a hand on my shoulder.

"Well?" my brother asked.

"Ratchet doesn't want to move him yet," First Aid sighed. "I would feel a million times better if we'd just get him out of here, but Ratchet's afraid he's unstable. We just don't know what the Allspark is doing to him," the medic sighed, coming to us and leaning on a nearby table. "So many questions going unanswered, and not only is a human's life in danger, it's the Allspark." He sounded close to despair, and the edge disturbed me. Were the Autobots unraveling, or just this one?

"You're moving Sam?" I asked, putting my hand over Hot Rod's.

"Yes. Everyone's on edge, you being so unpredictable and Sam being what he is. Optimus is making plans to take Sam to the City, where he's more defensible, as soon as Ratchet gives the ok, and leave you here until we're sure you're recovered."

"Oh," I sighed. My virus ruse was really starting to bite me in the aft, but what else could we do? Skywarp was in danger, too. And… I really was unstable. Maybe not in a way that would hurt Sam, but pretty fragged up nonetheless.

"We're pushing to have him out of here by nightfall," Hot Rod said, leaning his hip against my repair bed.

Nodding, I leaned back against my brother, letting my chin rest on his shoulder.

_I missed you,_ I told the red mech.

_Not as much as I missed you. I think Mirage has been missing you too. He's waiting with Stratosphere, by the way. He was kind of mad when he found out he wasn't going to get to see you._

_ Tell him I'll spend some time with him when I get to go home,_ I promised weakly. Kup, Ultra Magnus and Springer entered the med bay while were we talking. Ultra Magnus cast a hologram from his chest on the table nearest once they'd gathered loosely around me. As I watched a relatively huge cargo plane, Stratosphere, appeared in the hologram. The image zoomed out, showing colored lights with names in Cybertronian. I struggled to make out unfamiliar titles. Bluestreak was positioned quite far back as a sniper, while Hound was apparently supposed to be in two places at once.

A few I had trouble reading, probably Blurr, and maybe, Drift and Roadbuster? The former two were shown following dotted lines on the perimeter of the hospital, then following the menagerie as they made their way north to Ronald Reagan National . The latter seemed to be staying with the center of attention. The whole map was a rainbow of mechs, so I knew that this had to be Sam's removal strategy once Ratchet gave the OK.

"Normally I'd get the civilian out of here," Kup groused, "But her direct line to the Decepticon Command Trine necessitates some, er…"

"Flexibility," Springer suggested.

"Chuh," the camo mech puffed, chewing on his metal cigar.

"Stop chomping on those cygars," First Aid grumbled at the old mech. "I have enough to do without smelting you a new one every time you get titchy."

"I wish we could use you in the sky," Hot Rod sighed to me as two dots appeared in the air over Stratosphere, Blaster and Breakaway. "We could disguise you as someone else, like Powerglide or Cloudburst. The more we can put between them and Sam, the less likely they're going to try anything. They're just at such an advantage in the air."

"The humans will send their own fighters with us," Ultra Magnus assured, "but that won't intimidate a Seeker."

Hot Rod's optics darted to the other mechs present before he spoke again, looking back to me. "Will you speak to Skywarp, Bravura? Have him warn us if they move?"

I hesitated before nodding. "I think we can count on him."

"Who's to say we can count on either of you?" Kup growled, eying me speculatively. Suspiciously.

I started to speak, by Hot Rod beat me.

"She's not a traitor," my brother sighed. "Trust me, please, Kup."

"I do trust you," Kup shot back before crossing his arms and looking away. "It's the mech she's attached to I don't trust. He's the bot-fraggin' slagger who took out the Sirius-2 colonies. By himself! Four hundred civilians in less than a solar cycle."

Hot Rod patted my shoulder with sympathy as I slumped forward, letting my elbows rest on my knees. Four hundred in one day. Primus, we needed to have that talk. More than anything, I wanted to spark bond him again to actually see into him, to understand what he was feeling when he did those things instead of just getting the words. How he felt about it now.

"I don't think he's like that anymore," Hot Rod insisted. "Drift was the enemy, killed a lot of good mechs, and you're the one who gave him that second chance."

"I knew he deserved it," Kup grumbled. "Skywarp, I don't know anything except he hasn't been fighting like he used to."

"I know he's different," I said, my voice wavering a little. "He isn't like he was when he… used to kill for no reason. He's not that mech now."

"He'll show his true colors soon enough," Kup sighed, giving Hot Rod a grimace that may have been intended as a smile.

* * *

_Skywarp?_ I hesitantly sent through our link. Again. This time I got a grunt of acknowledgement. _Do you, uh, know if the Decepticons are doing anything tonight?_

It took him a while, but he responded. _Why?_

_ They're moving Sam. The Autobots are nervous._

_ Are you helping them?_

_ No._

_I didn't hear anything about it._

_ Oh. Ok. Can you tell me if you hear anything?_

_ Yeah._

_ Thanks, Warp._

Skywarp didn't offer anything after that, so I settled against the ship with a sigh. Hot Rod was sitting next to me on top of the Trion. It was kind of dirty, bad enough that I doodled a childish "wash me" on the orangey hull.

"I guess that didn't go well?" Hot Rod asked. He was on his back, soaking in the sunlight. He seemed more relaxed than he had in years, strange considering what would be coming up in just a few hours.

"Not really. He hasn't heard about Sam being moved, so they may not know. I guess he doesn't really want to talk to me, he just acted like I was bothering him-"

Hot Rod sat up, cupping my face when infuriating dejection shot through me. "It will get better," he whispered. "Someday, when the war is over-"

"It'll never be over," I mumbled. "Megatron can't kill Optimus, and Optimus won't kill Megatron. We'll always be fighting, and he'll always be on the wrong side," I whispered, but even despite my caution my voice cracked.

"Why would you even think that, sis?" Hot Rod asked, stroking my back. "Of course we'll end this. We'll end it for good."

"That's not what Mirage thinks," I grumbled. "He said you've lost other planets, and that Earth could turn out just like them,"

"Mirage is a pessimist," Hot Rod clucked. "If it's not going perfect it's a disaster. Don't worry, Bravura, we won't let them destroy Earth."

"It's my home," I whimpered.

"It's become mine too. It's home for most of now. We don't have a home to go back to. Cybertron is in ruins, and the Allspark is here. For better or for worse," Hot Rod hesitated, the squeezed me a little, "_hopefully _for the better, this is our home."

* * *

Sam was in Autobot City, relatively safe and sound, by four a.m. Everything went down without hitch, no sign of any Decepticon activity for the whole trip, or so Hot Rod reported to me. Several more of City mechs made the flight inside Stratosphere, but I didn't get to see any of them. They never let me leave the Trion.

Someone woke me up at about six in the morning. I jerked to consciousness and jumped to the door, half expecting a dire message, but-

"No more free loading or bumming around. I saw that little note you left me on back of the ship, so you get to wash the Trion til she sparkles."

"Wha-" I started to protest, but he cut me off again.

"Cleaning supplies are on the bottom deck. It's a sunny day, so no breaks. What are you waiting for?" Kup snapped. "Move!"

I darted from the room, stumbling past the camo mech as he champed on his cigar –cygar?, diving into the lift as soon as it would let me in.

Carrying a huge bucket of water up a service ladder onto a slippery ship with just one arm free for climbing is a real bitch. Doing it for hours is worse.

Especially when you fall off the side into a river and you can't swim.

_ Blaster?_ I sighed after a full half hour of trying to slog my way out of the river. I had thoroughly lost track of the Trion long ago, though I knew it was sort of leftwards by the faint energy signatures from the mechs inside. Regardless, I was in the river, where visibility was zero.

_Yes, ma'am,_ Blaster responded.

_Uh, so I was trying to clean the ship for Kup,_ I began, _and well, it's really hard carrying a bucket of water up that ladder. And I can't swim._

_ So, what you're saying is…_

_ I'm in the river and I need help, please._

It was obvious that Blaster was stifling a laugh when he responded a few moments later. _If you're signature silencing, stop for a moment. Help is on the way._

_Thanks, Blaster._ I let my signature broadcast loud and clear, waiting eagerly to escape the dark and muddy suffocation of the Potomac.

I reflexively pushed the pale hands away when they reached for me, but relaxed when I saw the blue eyes. I couldn't really see who it was, but they put their arms around me unceremoniously before pushing us both to the surface, churning up a massive swirl of mud behind us.

He took us to the bank, letting me go the minute I found my footing. As I slogged out of the river, my vents draining stinking water, I saw that it was a mech I wasn't sure I'd seen before.

"Thanks," I offered as he started for the dock. He just glanced at me and nodded, so I continued. "I'm Bravura."

He arched an optic ridge, making me feel sort of stupid. Of course I was Bravura, the only femme on this side of the continent… But slag, he was pretty. Mostly gleaming white under the scum of the river, long and lean shape. Built for speed, and his helm was… I clamped down on my growing interest when he spoke. Even though he was as muddy as I was, he was still nice to look at.

"I'm Drift," he said, his calm confidence making me feel even more awkward.

"Nice to meet you," I blurted as I stumbled, trying to scrape the mud from one foot with the other.

"A pleasure," he answered, and I could see the barest ghost of a smile. Great, this was like Butcher all over again wasn't it? He'd turned out a great friend, after I gave him another chance…

Hot Rod said Kup gave Drift another chance.

"You were a Decepticon," I gasped, my door wings lifting in surprise. "I mean," I backtracked, "that's not, you know, it's not… I…" I fizzled out. I didn't want to say, "that's ok" or "I don't mind…" or ask how he got out. He might wonder why.

"I've heard you and that intel officer are close," Drift said with a tinge of irritation, "but I didn't realize he was teaching you the trade."

"Mirage?" I asked. "What, no. Hot R- Rodimus and Kup were talking about… you came up for a second."

Drift stared at me, so I looked down and scraped more mud from my feet.

"Look, sorry. Thanks for getting me out."

When I looked up, he was stalking back into the Trion.

"Good job," I mumbled to myself as I clanked across the dock and began to work my way around the ship. "The one mech who can tell you _anything_ about what it's like and you fraggin _alienate _him. Good job!" I yelled.

Far away, a police siren chirped. I started and looked up at the bridge, which crossed the river to the north. Almost too far away to make out, I telescoped my vision and made out the words, "To punish and enslave," branded on the side.

I almost fell into the river again.

I'd lost nearly an hour of daylight by the time I got back to work. The bucket I'd dropped when I fell was floating upside down under the dock, so I had to climb back off the Trion and spend fifteen minutes on the dock, flat on my stomach trying to stretch far enough to nudge it with my extended knife to get the damn thing close enough to shore to fish out. Someone walked by me while I put on the spectacle, stopping to watch for a few moments, but they didn't say anything so I didn't make any excuses.

The washroom was bliss by the time the sun went down. The hull of the Trion was far from clean, but it looked better than it had. Still, I had every intention of getting all the stinking mud and sand from my joints before I got some recharge.

The washroom wasn't empty when I walked in. Drift was there, to my embarrassment, as well as Perceptor. Drift saw me, but Perceptor seemed to be talking about something too important to pay attention.

I was rinsing out my helm under a stream of lukewarm water, wondering why Perceptor hadn't followed Sam to the city when he answered my question for me. The scientist removed a piece of armor for Drift, rinsing it under a steaming jet of water, but his other hand crept up to the exposed space and started to stroke the framework hidden from my view. Drift twitched his head, staring daggers at me, and I dropped my head in embarrassment.

"Oh," Perceptor gasped. I didn't hear anything else from either of them until they left the washroom a few minutes later.

I contained myself for several agonizing minutes, but then I couldn't hold back any longer and screeched at the empty showers, balling my fists and resisting the urge to smack myself in the head. I splashed water over my head and jammed my helm back on, bathing robotically until some other mechs came in. I didn't even look up, determined to give these bots the illusion of privacy, but then someone threw a wet rag at me.

I looked down at my arm and caught the oversized rag. It was slightly soapy, so I searched for its owner. Springer, with Blades and Groove.

"We keep them in the storage unit in the wall by the door," Springer informed me with a smile before tending to his own ablutions.

Swiping the rag along my arms, I silently admitted that the rag was definitely better.

As I was leaving, Blades called for me.

"Bravura! We're playing soccer tomorrow. You should come."

Startled, I nodded dumbly. "Sure, thanks, Blades…"

"Great!" The mech grinned. I smiled back before leaving my rag in the (obvious, now) used bin and making my way to my quarters.

* * *

"Get off of me!" Blurr yelled at me as I tripped him in our game yet again. The ruined golf course that had been taken over by the Autobots was slick with mud now, and every time I moved in to stop Blurr it ended in what felt and probably looked like a train wreck.

I shoved myself out of the muck, freeing Blurr's legs. He was up and gone before I was even halfway up, but I didn't mind as I heard my team cheering. I'd been patched in with the Protectobots to make up for Streetwise, who was on duty. I was acting as a fullback with Groove. Springer, Blaster, Bluestreak and Roadbuster were playing against us on Blurr's team.

The first time I tripped Blurr was an accident. I was just trying to get at the ball, but somehow I got tangled up with the bigger mech and it seemed from that point on I couldn't avoid him. So I started deliberately getting in his way whenever I could manage it, no small task considering that the mech was a literal blurr most of the time.

"I swear to Primus, if you get under me one more time I'm going to-" Blurr snarled.

"Gonna what?" I jeered.

"Hey, focus you two," Springer called. "Blurr, take it down a notch. Bravura, try going for the ball, ok? We need Blurr's legs in one piece."

We both nodded, shooting evil glares at one another before returning to the fray.

* * *

By noon day the next day, totaling two and half days of cleaning the Trion, the ship passed Kup's inspection and he moved me to guard duty down at the Lincoln Monument. Freshly washed and shiny, many of the tourists were snapping pictures of me more than the actual attractions. It was beyond boring and I knew Kup was just leaving me there to rot because he didn't want me hanging around the Trion, but still. Couldn't I be doing something a little more active?

"Hey! Hey, look at me!" A tourist yelled up at me. I sighed and looked down, having the pleasure of three cameras flash at me all at once.

"Ugh."

"What do you turn into?" One guy yelled at me.

"A trash compactor," I snapped, crossing my arms. I shifted my weight slightly and a woman shrieked. "Sorry!" I yelped, freezing. "Are you ok?"

"I'm calling the police!" the woman wailed, though I was certain I hadn't touched her. "It crushed my purse. It nearly killed me! This robot is insane!"

The police arrived in minutes. The siren wailed, ending with a funny chirp. I jerked my optics up, flinching when I saw Barricade parked on the other side of the reflecting pool.

"You gotta be kidding me," I muttered. "Don't be stupid!" I yelled at the Decepticon. "The Autobots can be here in two seconds."

His door popped open, and oddly enough Mikaela stepped out, dressed awkwardly in a police uniform. She was still barely twenty, so I knew it had to be Frenzy. The disguised bot made his way to me, shooting evil glares at everyone who dared check him out.

"I have something for you," he called in her voice when he was just twenty feet from me.

"Don't want it," I snapped back.

"Yeah, you do. Just take it." Frenzy threw something at me, landing neatly at my feet. When it didn't blow up I looked back at the disguised ex-Autobot and started to speak but he was already walking away.

"Hey, wait. Wait, what is it?"

"It's a present," Frenzy answered cryptically without turning around, my audials just barely catching it over the buzz of the curious crowd. He climbed back into Barricade, and with a wail of sirens the two left as abruptly as they arrived. I bent down to pick up the little metal drive just as the real police showed up.

* * *

"I didn't step on her," I argued with Kup. "I moved my foot and she was standing right by me, so she freaked out. I didn't even bump her!"

"The humans called law enforcement on you, you idiot," Kup snapped. "Regardless of whether you hurt her or not, now we're dealing with what could turn into a serious case!"

"You're the one who put me out there by myself," I practically yelled. "I didn't ask to come here, and I sure as frell didn't ask for guard duty."

"You're asking for a day in the brig if you don't stow the attitude," Kup growled.

Snapping my mouth shut, I glared at the officer while he regarded me seriously from over his desk. After meeting his gaze for a long minute, I looked down, picking at my fingers.

"I'm sorry," I finally muttered.

"I know it," Kup sighed, to my shock. He caught my surprised glance, shrugging. "I've been talking to Rodimus. He's like my own, you know. Raised him from a youngling, and it's probably my fault he joined the Autobots. At least it kept him alive. But, he has faith in you. Got your memories of growing up, apparently. And you know, when it comes to trusting folks that bot's either all right or all wrong. And since I don't think you're causing trouble on purpose, I'm inclined to think he's right about you."

My spark swelled to think that Hot Rod had been defending me so soundly. Primus, he was a good mech.

"That said… you're here to check us out, see if you want a mentor here or in the City. Since they've got Sam there now, you're more or less restricted to our little assignment until Sam's done changing or you get yourself under control. It means you'll have to find one here. Blurr and Drift want nothing to do with you, Springer's too busy, and, well, we're all too busy. But Blaster and Hound are good choices, if you want 'em."

Blaster and Hound _were_ good choices. Both seemed to like me, and they had interesting jobs. While Blaster could fly and he seemed to have the safer job, Hounds was active in the open air and using holoforms, something I'd been taking advantage of for years. He could teach me a lot about what they could do and get me out of the Trion at the same time.

"Hound, if he wants to," I answered after thinking it over.

"I'll let him know. You start tomorrow at 0600. Meet him in the rec room, and stay the frag out of trouble. Hound's still got his own work to do, he can be your teacher but he isn't your nanny. Got it?"

I nodded. "Got it."

* * *

This is called me trying to move plot. I've got three major things planned, and then... it might be the end of OE *dundundunnnn* Still pretty far away though, especially at the pace i've been writing '_'

But once OE's done I can start focusing on ODL (mirage and dirge!) again :) And then, when I've absolutely exhausted my OC, maybe I'll start doing some canon characters ;)


	41. Chapter 41

Reviewers, I love you very _very_** very **much :)

To those who don't… reviews let me know how you took the chap, ya know? Concrit and reactions are appreciated. Doesn't mean I'll change, ya'll know how crotchety I get by now, but I still like seeing what you're thinking ;)

* * *

Hound was waiting in the rec room with two cubes of Energon. He seemed perky and cheerful, a relief after spending most of the night wondering how this whole apprenticeship was going to go.

"Good morning," he said, standing and offering me the cube. It was low grade solar Energon, the kind the mechs used for a little jump but without nearly as much energy as regular Energon, like drinking weak tea compared to coffee. The government had tried to convince Optimus that active soldiers could function on this stuff without supplementation in order to reduce the Autobots' carbon footprint, and Ratchet had just about blown a circuit arguing through the red tape, or so the story went. Hound took a seat, motioning for me to follow suit.

"How long have you been using holograms?" Hound asked, leaning on his elbows.

"About six years. Well… no. A year and half." I'd had the generator for that long, but I'd only been able to use it for a short time. Space travel and infirmity on Predaca had cut back on my actual experience.

"And how did you utilize your generator?"

There was a laugh across the rec room as two Protectobots wandered in and over to the dispenser. Hound was waiting, so I quickly looked back to him.

"Uh, we, I… used it to look like a mech in public. Something was off on one of the components, so some mechs could tell I was wearing one. I used it for camouflage sometimes, to blend into dark places."

"Was this a solid-form generator?"

"No. The one Mirage gave me this time is way better."

"I see. May I have another look at your equipment?" He gently took my generator, tiny, only the size of a large grapefruit and miniscule in our hands. He ran a quick scan down the technology. "You are equipped with a class IV holographic receiver-generator. If Mirage built it it's guaranteed to be the best in its class. But do _you_ know how it works?

Hound smiled when I shook my head. "Today, you and I will take a look at the inner working of what's about to become your most versatile weapon."

* * *

_Talk to me, Skywarp,_ I sighed into our private comm. _Why did you risk everything if you're not going to talk to me?_

_ What do you want to talk about?_ He was miffed, I could feel that easily enough through the echoes of his brothers, but I needed answers. I curled onto my side on the Trion. Ever since I'd spent two days cleaning it, I felt sort of like it was _my _place. Even if I was afraid of falling back into the river every time I climbed up the service ladder. How I missed wings! Once I was safely perched on the ship the quiet river and the gentle breeze lent itself to my relaxation.

_Remember the night I interfaced with Sunstreaker?_ I asked, unashamed now that Skywarp had so casually exposed me to his own trine's bonding.

_Yes._ I could practically see him twitching.

_I was in his berth because I needed some company. I was upset, maybe you could tell. Arcee made me watch a memory stream of you torturing some civilians. And I've heard stories since then. Four hundred civilians in one day, Warp?_

_ I killed a lot of bots, but not all four hundred. I wasn't the only one there,_ he sighed. _I told you, you didn't know what I am._

_I think I'm beginning to understand,_ I answered, shuttering my optics when the sun broke through the clouds, low on the horizon. _What you are, I mean. I don't know that I'll ever understand what you _were._ But you're not the same, not anymore. You wouldn't have done all the things you did for me if you were. I just wish you would've let me see when we had the chance._

_ If you were a male I would've let them kill you, you know. _I flinched at the turn of the conversation. _You're… presumptuous, and you think you've got it all figured it out. You don't. It would've been easy to walk away; they never would've heard me over your screams._

_ You would've let them if I were a pushover, too. Right? I'd be dead, or wish I were. And I'd be human, either way. But I wasn't a pushover, and you didn't walk away. And… you do a lot of other stuff. Have you killed anyone on Earth?_

_ Not directly._

_Right. You saved me more times than I care to mention. Twice when I was human, when Starscream was out for me, when he was after me again, from Dirge, from miners, from… from Predaca._

Skywarp was silent for a while, and I thought maybe I'd said something wrong. _You remember all those,_ he finally mused.

_I'm probably forgetting something,_ I chuckled out loud, covering my face against the sunlight. _All I really know is that, yeah, I'm terrified of what you did for Megatron. But I love you, too. No matter what you do, I know you'll do the right thing. I'll always love you._

_ I'm sorry,_ he whispered on the comm. _About the twin thing. I should've tried to get it figured out first._

I laughed again, but not into our comm. It sounded like he had to tear the apology out with both hands, but he'd done it.

_I forgive you, Warp. If you'll forgive me in advance._

_ What for?_ He asked suspiciously.

_For whatever I manage to do wrong next. Things have been too quiet lately._

_ I wish I could say the same,_ Warp sighed. _Screamer's been acting weird, being freakishly nice one minute and a total knock-off the next. He gets… excited. Amped up._

To retain my sanity I'd been determinedly ignoring everyone, letting each mech's confusing emotion blend into white noise mostly. _What do you think he's doing?_

_Don't know,_ my bondmate grumbled. _He's in his lab all the time. Ever since Frenzy and Barricade started bringing in reports about Sam._

_Weird,_ I mumbled, chewing gently on a fingertip. _You don't think he's doing something with that machine again, do you?_

_ The one I built? I haven't seen him bringing in humans, but there's no telling what he does when I'm gone._

_ Speaking of mysterious mechs,_ I muttered, dropping Frenzy's drive out of my wrist storage and eying the tiny rectangle in my palm, _Frenzy gave me something yesterday. Some kind of storage drive._

_ Have you tried to open it?_

_ No. I thought I should ask you first._

_ I don't think he'd hurt you, but I have no clue what it could be if it's not a virus. You should tell your brother, ask him to have a tech check it out just in case._

The air was getting cold as the sun set and the Trion pinged as it shifted minutely. I took a deep intake, ignoring the pollution my filters detected and choosing instead to savor the soothing cool feeling.

_I miss you,_ I sent to my bond. _I want to see you._

_I want to see you too,_ he answered, his tone finally dropping to the tender tone I'd been longing to hear. _But it's too dangerous. You're groundbound, you can't fly out, and Megatron seems to be watching me. Asking me questions. I think he's been having Soundwave follow me on the satellites when he can._

_ Did he see you come here?_

_ I don't think so, or I'd be on my knees in his throne room explaining myself by now. He can't tell where I warp and Soundwave can't watch everywhere. Little Star, I've had a long day. I'm about to crash._

_ Ok, Warp. Have a good recharge._

_ I love you. _

_ Love you too. _

My arms squealed slightly against my chassis when I was unable to resist the girlish urge to hug myself. The elation Skywarp filled me with would never fade, never, and I took some pride in the satisfaction he felt in response.

* * *

Optimus, Ratchet and Bumblebee stood over the still human form on the table. The CMO dared a rapid scan, barely more than a second of viewing time, and showed the results in a holo to the other soldiers.

"It's not good. It's moving faster than Bravura's, naturally. It is its own energy source. We need to move quickly if we're going to copy Sam's memories."

"What if the Allspark preserves them on its own? What if we interfere?" Optimus pressed.

"I'd rather have a backup than lose Sam altogether," Ratchet sighed. "I doubt our interference will prevent it from saving his memories on its own if it wants to. It's been a part of him for years now. Bumblebee?"

The yellow mech stared down at Sam, his denta clamped together so tightly his jaw cables ached. "I don't want to lose him."

Ratchet nodded. "The Allspark has started to grow into his major organs. I doubt he has more than eighteen hours before his lungs begin to hemorrhage. Tomorrow morning should be soon enough to copy everything. I've been in contact with Perceptor, and we've discussed a less intrusive method than what we used with Bravura. It won't kill him outright."

Bumblebee sighed. "What about the spark?"

Ratchet shrugged. "The Allspark has the capability, there's still a chance he won't need a donation."

"But if he does," Bumblebee pressed, "you can't let anyone else. It has to be me."

"Are you sure, Bumblebee?" Optimus asked. "I know you care about Sam as more than an assignment. But Rodimus and Bravura have a platonic bond. Your future with Sam may not be what you wanted."

"I'll do anything to be there for Sam," the yellow mech insisted. "If I can feel him like Rodimus and Bravura or Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, then I'll be a better guardian."

"You won't be his only guardian when he changes," Optimus reminded the younger mech. "He is the Allspark now, its only existing incarnation. Every Autobot alive will protect him. You don't have to take it all on yourself."

"But I will, sir," Bumblebee said, sure and certain. "I won't let him down."

* * *

"I feel kind of stupid," I admitted to Hound. He was supervising me while I battled my own hologram, a scan he taught me how to take just that morning. My whole attitude had improved since my conversation with Skywarp the night before, but even so, counterattacking my own slashes and thrusts wasn't what I would've expected from my mentor.

"Try to take this opportunity to see how you move," Hound suggested, watching from the sidelines of the Trion's training room. "Look for openings in your technique, for imbalances and weakness. Practice reinforcing your hologram only in areas where intended contact is made, and remaining incorporeal in the rest of the form."

There must be something important to these instructions. It wasn't easy going after my holoform and myself at the same time. My processor was learning to manage it without becoming confused or overextended, though the sensation of staring into two places at once was giving me a strange sense of vertigo.

My knife passed through the intangible wrist of my holoform, but my holo's knife was very solid and I had to fumble to block myself.

"You see how using a hologram to fight with is both useful and risky? If you are perfect at focusing the solid points, you can deal damage without receiving any to your own body, and without excessively draining your holo."

"Yeah, but this is really tough."

"With practice you'll get much better at it. With real expertise, a mech never has to fight with his back to the enemy. He's his own partner."

The prospect was extremely interesting to me. I'd been alone and outmatched more times than I cared to remember, and having a second me to watch my back would've been preferable to getting slagged before help arrived.

"Ready to go outside?" Hound asked, stretching. "Ultra Magnus is doing some public relations work, and after your little incident with that woman you could use all the PR practice you can get."

The PR trip turned out to be a press release. Everyone wanted to know the state of the Cybertronian war, who was winning and what was behind the latest string of violence in this or that region. I mostly sat in silence, listening to Ultra Magnus field dozens of questions with Hound's occasional insights. With permission, I'd made a modified holo of Streetwise. To be polite the colors were significantly off in the infrared so the ruse wouldn't fool anybot, but the crowd seemed unimpressed with my presence.

"Sam Witwicky is now being treated in a military hospital," Ultra Magnus assured the reporter who was pressing for information. Sam had been working as a liaison with Hound and Bumblebee for two years, so the media noticed his absence quickly. "He is in critical condition, but he is receiving the best care in the country."

I shifted my weight slightly, drawing the attention of a young reporter.

"Streetwise, what do you think about the Decepticon sightings here in DC, and what is local law enforcement doing about it?"

"We're doing everything we can to capture the Decepticon," I said awkwardly, my voice filtered to simulate the Protectobot's deeper tone.

The reporter wasn't satisfied, but Hound quickly caught the ball.

"Everyone on the Trion is putting in extra time on patrols to fully canvas the city. We're putting more pressure than ever on the Decepticons, and they aren't getting much for their efforts. We're continuing to work with law enforcement to keep an eye on the whole city."

The reporter was still eying my suspiciously, so I looked away, rubbing at my neck a little.

* * *

Optimus lifted his optics slowly when his door slid open. It was locked, opening only upon request and approval. He couldn't see the bottom of the door from his seat at his desk, the whole room was relatively small for his long frame, so he slowly stood, ready to meet a potential enemy.

Sam stood there in a white paper gown. Medical tape was wrapped around his head, holding heavy gauze in place on the back of his skull. The Prime took a sucking intake, freezing only for a moment before beginning to slowly ease around his desk.

"Sam?" he asked. He desperately wanted to run a bioscan on the man, but if Sam was conscious the pain would be excruciating. He hadn't forgotten the human girl's screams.

The man's eyes were open, bloodshot. He was breathing raggedly, a bubbling noise warning Optimus that his lungs must be failing now.

"Sam," Optimus whispered. "You are dangerously ill. I must return you to the med bay." The protective words were difficult to get out, since no matter what Sam's body would die. The Autobot leader had spent the last few years completely invested in this man's well being, and all they could hope for now was that the Allspark would make him into a Cybertronian with a life of his own and not another cube.

The human started to shuffle forward. He moved awkwardly, stiffly, as if he no longer understood how his limbs connected to his body. His brown eyes stared straight ahead, not at Optimus. They were glazed, lifeless, the mischievous sparkle gone completely.

_Ratchet, we have an emergency. Sam is in my office._

_ What is he doing in your office? _The CMO snarled. He must have already been in a bad mood.

_He walked here. He's in bad shape._

_ I'll be right there,_ Ratchet hissed. _Don't move him! _The CMO warned before cutting out his comm.

"Sam, you need to lie down," Optimus said, his voice as calming as he could make it. "You're not well."

The human continued to shamble forward, his arms swinging awkwardly, his feet barely lifting. How he had made it to Optimus's office without Ratchet or anyone in the City seeing him was a mystery, but it was the Allspark inside the young man, after all. Anything could be possible. Without warning, Sam collapsed. Optimus lunged the short distance, his fingers just managing to slide under the unusually warm form in time to keep Sam's punctured skull from cracking against the hard floor. Sam flashed, brilliant blue white, and then-

Optimus woke up on his side, with Ratchet shining various scans over his body. His spark ached, as if he'd broken off a sparkbond prematurely.

"You're back," Ratchet sighed with relief. "I can't believe you did something so foolish, Prime…"

The CMO only called him Prime when he was especially irritated. "I'm not sure what you mean by foolish," Optimus sighed, pushing himself upright. "Where is he?"

Ratchet stared at Optimus, optics wide and unusually bright, before glancing up to the Prime's desk. Optimus followed the glance to the boy and couldn't help mimicking the CMO's shocked expression.

Blue-white light flickered lightly from the human's chest, curling through his skin like tiny solar flares. Sam's chest wasn't moving, and when Optimus leaned closer he couldn't hear a heartbeat.

"He's gone," Optimus whispered.

"He has a spark," Ratchet pointed out. "You gave him part of your spark. What about Bumblebee?"

Optimus shook his head, allowing the CMO to help him up. "I had no intention of taking that from Bumblebee."

"Then apparently the Allspark chose you," Ratchet mused, running a scan on the body. Now that Sam was dead, his memories stored and a spark safely lodged in his chest, the medic no longer had any fears about speeding the growth process. "It's integrating rapidly. There's significant activity around his spark, and lines are already beginning to form the shell of the spark case."

"How long?" Optimus asked.

Ratchet shrugged. "At this rate a week, left to itself. Give or take."

"We should return him to the med bay. I'll… I'll explain to Bumblebee."

Ratchet nodded, knowing the Prime was in for a difficult conversation with the young mech.

* * *

"Sorry, Streetwise," Hound whispered after most of the reporters were gone. "They don't usually ask you any questions."

Chuckling, I shrugged. The reporter who had questioned me was lingering across the street, his eyes trained on me like he was trying to find the missing piece, the off bit.

"What's up with that one?" I mutter, twitching my head slightly towards the creepy reporter.

"He reports for a very anti-Cybertronian paper."

"There are anti-Cybertronian papers?"

"There are whole political parties built around it," Hound said calmly, transforming. When I followed suit my intuitive hologram, simulating Streetwise's transformation perfectly while concealing my own, took on the sleek form of a Carbon E7 police car. It was too blocky for me in reality, but the paint job gave me a few giggles as I followed Hound away from the press area and subsequently, away from that suspicious reporter.

_Why?_ I asked on our comm. link, freshly forged this morning.

_We are dangerous, we're big and yet we can hide from them. We use a lot of energy, even if we're going to huge efforts to make most of that solar. We are walking weapons, and our enemies have no mercy. They haven't learned from their mistakes when The Fallen arrived, and somehow think banishing the Autobots will solve their problem with the Decepticons._

_Stupid,_ I grumbled.

_Think,_ Hound told me as he waited for an older woman to finish crossing the street long after our light had changed to green. She was only halfway across and cars behind us were starting to go wild with honks when Hound's holo stepped out of the car. He offered his arm to the elderly woman and helped her cross the rest of the way. I chirped my fake sirens and flashed my lights, effectively shutting down most of the rude snarls and bleats behind us.

Hound trotted back to his door, slipping into his interior and sliding across the intersection with deceptive fluidity. I followed clumsily, hating my wheels passionately when I revved my engine a bit too hard. The Autobot ahead of me was a genuinely nice guy. Helping old ladies across the street even as he talked about how much humankind hated us. He was above it, the way I expected Optimus and Hot Rod were above it.

_Think about what?_

_ How long did you stay in Autobot City before you were changed?_

_ A few days. Not even a week. _Everything had been a whirlwind back then.

_On day one, if you saw Rodimus or Mirage or Optimus standing in the middle of a field of rubble that used to be your home, surrounded by dead robots, what would you be thinking, as an uninvolved human? What would that last robot standing look like to you?_

Picturing it, Optimus standing alone surrounded by ruin and streaked with the Energon of dead bots, it was clear what Hound was trying to show me. _The winner looks as bad as the loser._

_ Right. Because even if we kill Decepticons, we still destroy cities and people die. The Cons never attack in the open, in deserts or fields. They hit us where it hurts our morals and the people who support us._

_ What else are we supposed to do? Let the Decepticons take everything? There will be nothing left!_

_ They would follow the Allspark, _Hound pointed out. _Blaster could take Sam far from here._

Stunned, I let myself slow down before revving my engine and shooting forward to catch back up with Hound. _How can you say that? Abandon Sam, for Earth?_

_ No. No, I'm not saying we should. But I love this planet too, Bravura, and it pains me. Mirage knows it too, that things are going poorly. We've lost planets before._

So Mirage was talking to more than just me about it. What was he saying now? Was he trying to turn the Autobots against Optimus? Did he realize how it was hurting our morale, our purpose?

_The Autobots won't lose on Earth,_ I snarled.

_No,_ Hound sighed. _We can't.

* * *

_

I've had this written for ages, but I kept thinking I'd add more... But since it's been so long since I updated, I'll go ahead and throw it out there. Tell me, do you think Sam should stay a guy or should the Allspark decide there aren't enough femmes in the universe? Not that it matters in a reproductive sense, he doesn't have to carry a sparkling to reproduce. But just for funsies...


End file.
